Help Depressed Community Members

[Almantas]

The point of this thread (don't know if similar threads exist) is this: what would be the one, single advice you would give to a fellow community member who is depressed? Please give your rationale, not just a quote you've borrowed from YouTube or self-help/motivational books. In other words, share your personal advice.

The reason why I've created this thread is because many entrepreneurs fight constant fear, rejection, criticism and so on. Such fights usually inflict many psychological wounds and as a result some of use make fatal decisions during such periods.

So... what would be your personal advice for the fellow community member who is struggling with fear, rejection and criticism? Fellow community member who is about to give up...fellow community member who is abandoned by everyone and sees no light at the end of the tunnel?

 

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[jon.a]

Go get your weight

 

[Almantas]

Go get your weight

What do you mean?

 

[AllenCrawley]

What do you mean?

Go dig thru @jon.a's posts. He has a great post about it.














Or just click the link in his signature.

 

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[jsk29]

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...our-life-in-30-days-or-less-guaranteed.50600/

Reading that article by MJ and taking action on it is helping me out a ton.

Printing out the Kaizen sheet and physically marking the X's (measurement of process) gives me grounded confidence based on reality vs temporary feel good based on thin air (eg. motivational quotes).

I've had huge self-image issues in the past and it took me a while to realize nothing will work out until I get this area handled first. (My efforts have always ended in some form of self-sabotage).

 

[MJ DeMarco]

The point of this thread (don't know if similar threads exist) is this: what would be the one, single advice you would give to a fellow community member who is depressed? Please give your rationale, not just a quote you've borrowed from YouTube or self-help/motivational books. In other words, share your personal advice.

The reason why I've created this thread is because many entrepreneurs fight constant fear, rejection, criticism and so on. Such fights usually inflict many psychological wounds and as a result some of use make fatal decisions during such periods.

So... what would be your personal advice for the fellow community member who is struggling with fear, rejection and criticism? Fellow community member who is about to give up...fellow community member who is abandoned by everyone and sees no light at the end of the tunnel?

Watch about 8 hours of World War documentaries and the men who had to fight those wars (both sides.)

Hard to be depressed after that.

 

[SmoothFranko]

Watch about 8 hours of World War documentaries and the men who had to fight those wars (both sides.)

Hard to be depressed after that.

I've seen my fair share of WWI and WWII documentries and being an Australian I think the poor foolhardy boys that went to the Great War in hopes of seeing the world and going on a great adventure would be ashamed of the current generation for its lack of motivation and selfish attitude. A good example of this a group of teens in the local mall hassling passers-by for money almost aggressively.

 

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[czach41]

Daily meditation has helped me out a ton. Check out an app called Headspace for your phone. They have a 10 day introductory guide where they guide you on one 10 minute meditation per day.

If you aren't interested in Headspace, you can google "mindfulness meditation" and they will have a lot of guides.

For me, it has allowed me to sit back and acknowledge my thoughts... and let them go. Instead of being affected by everything going on upstairs in the brain, I simply watch it go by. Very peaceful and satisfying.

Regardless of what is happening in business, whether I am doing great or have lots of room for improvement - staying present and just enjoying the moment (which meditation has helped me out significantly) pretty much guarantees that I'm going to be happy.

 

[Almantas]

I agree... we should see our circumstances from different angles and ask ourselves "is the situation really that bad or is our perception of the situation simply creating an illusion of darkness".

A man on a bicycle can cry his eyes out for not having a car while a man next door quietly sits in a wheelchair and dreams to ever walk again....

When I get negative thoughts in my head that tell "you're not good enough", "you're a failure", "you will never find a partner"...I remind myself of people who have born without limbs, sight, hearing etc. and still go through life like warriors, warriors that never surrender...such moments remind me again and again of how strong mind power is and that the major war we all fight in is the war of self belief.

 

[marklov]

 

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[Newpollz]

Depression is real and can become a vicious circle (you are depressed about being depressed). The opposite of depression is vitality but nobody ever mentions it. Amazingly vitality is a virtuous circle, nobody ever mentions that either.

 

[Newpollz]

So what I am trying to say is cheer up because as much as you can end up in a loop of shittyness there are equal periods in life in which you will be in endless loops of happyness. Happyness is just the absense of shittyness and vice versa. But I came to realize that in life one can't exist without the other.

 

[TonyStark]

Go see a doctor, and find a therapist in your area.

 

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[marklov]

Looking back on where I grew up it's hard for me to be depressed.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

I don't really sleep. I prefer power-naps instead. I hold my keys in a hand and slowly drift into a state of relaxation, once I start drifting into a sleeping phase - I drop my keys...and guess what? Yes, I wake up. This is how I have been sleeping for the past 3 weeks and am alive and intellectually functioning. Oh,yes...I do cheat and my trick is caffeine powder; I usually take 2 teaspoons of it every day - dose not recommended to anyone.

Two most precious assets in my life are Freedom and Time. Thus, I do my best to preserve them to my best ability.

Sleep more. Like, real deep REM-sleep.
While it's possible that depression is merely a symptom of negative thoughts,
it's quite often a brain chemistry-problem. (Jim Carey, known to be happy as fuark, had this problem)

And if that fellow community member you are talking about is you...listen to this

Life is beautiful....if you allow it to be so.

 

[AndrewNC]

The point of this thread (don't know if similar threads exist) is this: what would be the one, single advice you would give to a fellow community member who is depressed? Please give your rationale, not just a quote you've borrowed from YouTube or self-help/motivational books. In other words, share your personal advice.

The reason why I've created this thread is because many entrepreneurs fight constant fear, rejection, criticism and so on. Such fights usually inflict many psychological wounds and as a result some of use make fatal decisions during such periods.

So... what would be your personal advice for the fellow community member who is struggling with fear, rejection and criticism? Fellow community member who is about to give up...fellow community member who is abandoned by everyone and sees no light at the end of the tunnel?

The simplest advice I got from someone when I struggled with this was: "You can choose to feel whatever emotions you choose to feel. And you can choose to not feel the ones you don't."

It sounded too easy to be true....so what did I do?

I went on a 3 year journey deep DEEEEP into personal development, learned, practiced, and gotten results from everything there is on the topic...and none of those feelings are here anymore: fear, rejection, criticism... HA! I laugh at it.

Now, after that 3 year journey and learning all this stuff, and helping others...

I learned that you can choose to feel whatever emotion you want.

Did I need that long journey to develop myself to get past those things, or could I have simply let those emotions go immediately?

Who knows....


Side note - If I was helping someone one-on-one about this - I would not go with such a direct approach like I did here. This reply was must me thinking out loud.

 

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[FlashJack]

when life get tough I go to meditation, yoga and hiking (being outside reminds me how much we have all around us).

 

[mws87]

what helped me get over it is learning the science behind it. Makes it a hell of a lot easier to pinpoint the causes a.k.a. the shit I need to stop doing (or, start doing).

 

[Anon37434]

What helped me a lot was picking something where I could make daily progress.
Lifting weights, running, learning a language or losing body fat are just a small number of examples. Pick something you feel like doing and stick with it on a DAILY basis.
The progress you make will satisfy you and the closer you come to a goal you've set, the happier you will be.

However, this will probably not make the depression go away, but having a goal and working to achieve it every day gives you a sense of accomplishment which depressed people often lack in their lives.

Moreover, physical exercise is known to be one of the best ways to reduce your negative feelings.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

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[Jake]

Now, after that 3 year journey and learning all this stuff, and helping others...

I learned that you can choose to feel whatever emotion you want.

See avatar


1. Decide who you’re gonna be. “There’s a redemptive power that making a choice has rather than feeling like you’re an effect to all the things that are happening. Make a choice. Just decide what it’s gonna be, who you’re gonna be, how you are going to do it. Just decide. And from that point, the universe will get out of your way.” - Will Smith

 

[SteveO]

Depression is real and it does hurt. It can be overcome even though it does not feel that way when you are in the middle of it. Some of us have gone through it and come out the other side.

 

[Newpollz]

Sleep more. Like, real deep REM-sleep.
While it's possible that depression is merely a symptom of negative thoughts,
it's quite often a brain chemistry-problem. (Jim Carey, known to be happy as fuark, had this problem)

And if that fellow community member you are talking about is you...listen to this

Life is beautiful....if you allow it to be so.

Boondocks Saints!

 

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[Almantas]

Thanks guys for your amazing insights.

 

[Mr.Donnerhuhn]

Well first I'd like to ask: are we talking about being depressed? Or having clinical depression?

There's a VAST distinction between the two.

If you're feeling depressed, well quite frankly the lathered-rinsed-repeated self-helpy advice actually can be useful. Reminding yourself of your goals & purpose, incantation/affirmations, looking at what happened that upset you and pulling the lessons out of it etc... can be quite useful and I recommend it.

Now, Clinical Depression is a much different beast. If you have clinical depression, then you've really got to attack it from all angles. Get a blood test and check for various vitamin/mineral deficiencies, take care of your gut microbiome make sure you've got the right probiotics going on in there. Supplement & diet accordingly. Get yourself a GOOD talk-therapist. Do meditation practices, etc...

This video from Stanford's Dr. Sapolsky is a quite good overview of major depression:

 

[Newpollz]

Well first I'd like to ask: are we talking about being depressed? Or having clinical depression?

There's a VAST distinction between the two.

If you're feeling depressed, well quite frankly the lathered-rinsed-repeated self-helpy advice actually can be useful. Reminding yourself of your goals & purpose, incantation/affirmations, looking at what happened that upset you and pulling the lessons out of it etc... can be quite useful and I recommend it.

Now, Clinical Depression is a much different beast. If you have clinical depression, then you've really got to attack it from all angles. Get a blood test and check for various vitamin/mineral deficiencies, take care of your gut microbiome make sure you've got the right probiotics going on in there. Supplement & diet accordingly. Get yourself a GOOD talk-therapist. Do meditation practices, etc...

This video from Stanford's Dr. Sapolsky is a quite good overview of major depression:

About being depressed. You know from being an "entrepreneur" and all...

 

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[Mattie]

In my case every fear happen. I've been rejected by most. And when you have experienced this, all you have left is to face yourself, have confidence in yourself, and rise above your circumstances. Depression is you seeing things from a negative perspective, and not grabbing on to a higher mindset and getting past your self-limiting beliefs. Not depending on someone else to make you feel good about yourself. It's standing on your own two feet, and knowing the only person who will look after you is you.

 

[E-Sharp]

Well first I'd like to ask: are we talking about being depressed? Or having clinical depression? There's a VAST distinction between the two.

Spot on. The distinction is important. The term "depression" is a common way to describe sadness, discouragement, low motivation; things everyone experiences. This is different from clinical symptomatology. It sounds from what OP has written like the former is being described, but a definitive answer wont be found on a forum.

Exercise, meditation, changing your beliefs and your thinking - these are all excellent ideas, but if it's depression caused by a medical condition like hypothyroidism, good luck trying to positive-think your way out of that. Clinically significant depression is not a state of mind you can switch on and off at will.

So the advice to see a doctor is sound- especially if you first try things like exercise, meditation, working with thoughts and beliefs and either a) you're still depressed after doing these things or b) you're too depressed to do them in the first place.

 

[AndrewNC]

So the advice to see a doctor is sound

This is probably the best advice so far. See someone who knows what they are talking about. Doesn't always have to be a doctor....lot of different types of mental health practitioners out there.

 

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[The-J]

Start with structure. When depressed, it can be hard to follow through with something as simple as brushing your teeth.

Wake up at the same time every day, no exceptions. Shower, shave, and brush your teeth daily. Eat three meals a day. Exercise.

Pick up "The Miracle Morning" (this is an affiliate link and the money goes to support the forum). It will give you the morning routine to start your day out right. Since I've started it, I've had a couple 'off-routine' days and they are always the least productive.

Wake up with a singular purpose, every day. Sure, there will be multiple things to do, but you have to wake up with a single purpose. Maybe the purpose for that day is to move your business forward (most days for me are like this).

Exercise. It's in the book, but you need physical exercise. Doesn't have to be running or lifting: it could be a sport, or P90X, or martial arts.

Meditate for at least 10 minutes every day. Mindfulness is a technique where you focus on controlling your breathing. Something I learned at the Summit was to meditate using controlled muscle contractions, as well.

Gratitude exercises, where you think and focus on what you are grateful for, are excellent as well.

If you have a faith, practice it in the way your faith prescribes. Being closer to your God will help get you through trying times.

Most importantly: if you do all of this, for 30 days, and there's been no change in your depression: see a doctor. They will first prescribe you therapy sessions, and your psychiatrist will, if need be, prescribe drugs.

Use these techniques before going to a doctor (unless you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, then go IMMEDIATELY).

 

[Mac]

The way I look at it whenever I'm feeling down is that you can never be happy forever, otherwise you would never become depressed. Whenever I'm feeling down, I view it as a necessary for me to be in a shitty mood today so that I can be in a happy mood in another part of the day. It's natural.