Help Depressed Community Members

[socaldude]

Depression is a very serious mental illness. Its a real illness and not something that can be "willed away" or because your "lazy".

If you break your leg people are understanding of that, because they can clearly see, but when your mind breaks people judge you for that because these things are extremely difficult to understand.

Its a catch-22 and leads to very dysfunctional behaviors and thoughts. Its a vicious self-perpetrating cycle.

I highly urge you to seek professional help.

I have suffered from clinical depression and I can share with you what has helped me but this is not medical advice.

-SAM-e supplements, 800mg a day.
-Meditation.
-Reading Philosophy(Ayn Rand, Plato, Marcus Aurelius).
-Healthy diet(No junk food, Fish, Vegetables).
-Learning a new skill(can boost our self-confidence).
-Practice good personal hygiene.
-Moderate exercise(walking).
-Practicing more compassion.
-Keeping a written journal for self-expression.

Overcoming this takes time and work. It took me 2 years to overcome my depression to the point that I was "happy". This is not something that is going to be overcome by reading some pop psychology book.

As to the causes of depression, some science behind it says that your brain has been overstimulated with way too much negativity(Fear, Anger, loss, longing etc.) and not enough positivity. Making you feel like your brain is crushed like an aluminum can. But the exact causes are unique to you, your personal history, and personality dispositions.

At the end of that day only YOU can help yourself. Even if you got to a therapist, YOU have to make an effort to want to get better.

 

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[Tiger TT]

My experience:

1. Anthony Robbins - Unlimited Power

This book was one of the things that has helped me
whenever I wanted to give up.

2. Seeing positive results of what I was doing also
helped a lot.

3. Also now, when I'm depressed dancing really
helps me forget everything and be happy for
no reason.

When I dance salsa/bachata I think of nothing, I
live in the moment and just dance with women
and be happy

Just go learn how to dance, and when you get
depressed you can go to a party and you can
calm your mind.

 

[Rudynate]

Surround yourself with people who support your mission and remind you how great your are, and who are doing a lot with their lives. I used to think I needed people around me who kicked my a$$, showed me "tough love," kept me humble, etc., etc. I find it a lot more beneficial to be around people who mirror my talents, my strengths and all the other great stuff I bring to the table.

 

[BellaPippin]

Not sure if this has the potential for long-term results but it's a good emergency aid...as I said before listening to some particular music/song that has meaning for you or just a specific beat/bass/melody/lyrics can get you a powerful endorphin boost. Don't underestimate that boost to get you out of a pit and moving. Find what song that is and turn the volume up and even dance to it. Your body/brain WAKES UP.

Also I've been considering making vision boards lately. Has anybody tried it and can comment on it? Not only I think it would be a relaxing activity (making a little collage, I'm a bit crafty and would enjoy it). The whole point is getting that same boost but through your eyes. Stimulation of seeing images that make your brain connect to your goal and empower you.

Of course this is just for some empowerment as we are talking about battling depression, but won't actually get you there. As the rest said, it is a process. But I do believe finding those endorphin boosts help your mental wellbeing. If anybody has some solid research on it please share it by the way

 

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[DaveC]

Fitness is absolutely key. Its hard to get bummed down when you are cranking out a hard workout, besides the health benefits.

For me, turning off media and getting outside to a quiet spot is great to clear the head as well.

 

[Elliott_Diaz]

I would probably say to look at your future self, and think about how you will reflect back on your time and determine whether what is going on right now to cause your depression is worth the time. And to push on forward because there is always someone somewhere in the world facing struggles far worse than you and making the best of it.

I like Andy Frisella's Podcast titled Young Entrepreneur! Where he had someone come up from really nothing and made a name for himself.

Wishing all those facing some sort of struggle the absolute best and know that perseverance prevails in the long run!

 

[Almantas]

I have never been a member of a forum that has so many united members. I literally have no words to express my gratitude to all of you. You are like a one big family, thank you everybody

 

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[wade1mil]

Take two weeks off from working (not necessarily your job) to read, study and practice the book Letting Go (without judgement). When you need a break from reading, watch videos on Navy SEALS and Army Rangers training. I promise that will help.

 

[mrarcher]

In july last year I was left with 50000gbp ($70,000) in debt from a failed business and pennies in the bank. All business debt not consumer. I cant begin to tell you how terrible that felt. Especially since I had never even had a car loan! The only thing that kept me going was knowing that i was the only one who could fix it. Now seven months later I have just over 1K in the bank and zero debt. Some people would look at that as a bad thing. All that work to be left with nothing. Me I look at it as great. If i keep it up I can't wait to see what is in store for me in seven months time. The point is if you feel like crap keep pushing, for a while i lost all motivation but the only way to get through is to get back on the horse. Find something to throw your energy into and you will stop worrying about what has happened as you will be more concerned about what IS happening. Dark times come to show us what we are capable of.

 

[Deleted20833]

Whenever I'm scared I use this quote for myself to push through

 

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[Longinus]

I have a passion for history. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm so rational about life and don't understand why people in the first world can be so down.

Face it:
- When you are hungry, you get some food in the supermarket. You don't even have to think IF there's any food for you.
- You have a roof above your head. You don't even have to make a fire in your house to keep warm.
- You have clothes that you can change and wash.
- You don't have to deal with war. Or hostile tribes that would burn your village to the ground and rape all the women.
- If you're ill, you can go see a doctor.
- You happen to live in an age where information was easily available. I mean, only six hundred years back, the only form of information was hand written by monks.
- Your forefathers killed their enemies, dangerous animals, survived famine, wars and plague. Only to put you on this planet.

Also, you were the winner of the sperm lottery.

That's a 1/500.000.000 chance man!

You won!

 

[Red]

You are like a one big family, thank you everybody

This is always great to read, as it's what we strive for here.


For me personally, my depressive bouts were brought on by malnutrition. Yes, you read that right. Here in America, where we're all fat & eat all day long. I switched to an anti-inflammatory diet over 3 years ago (paleo is the most common nomenclature for my specific approach) & the results were so goddamned dramatic I never looked back. Once my gut healed & I could absorb proper nutrients (also adding proper vitamin supplements like TrueHope Vitamins -check them out here), the difference was amazing. Sometimes it's psychological. Sometimes it's physiological. Sometimes, who knows what combination brings it on, you just have to keep trying things until something works. Yes, I know that things feel insurmountable when you simply don't give a shit about life, but keep shuffling one foot in front of the other... you will find your answers.

 

[timmy]

I have never been a member of a forum that has so many united members. I literally have no words to express my gratitude to all of you. You are like a one big family, thank you everybody

Most people that are entrepreneurs face times of doubt, lack of direction and anxiety. We are an odd breed and our daily routine could bring us down in a heartbeat if we didn`t understand how others perceive us, especially our loved ones.Knowing this and being comfortable in these shoes is the trick IMO. Please notice I didn`t mention fear as i believe fear does not exist except in the mindset. " Fear knocked on the door, Love answered but there was no one there".........

 

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[timmy]

Oh ...... and stay cool and enjoy "Thursday" Slaint"." La Fheile Padraig"
+

 

[el_hombre123]

Been a long time sufferer of this. Things have gotten rough, especially recently. What helps is getting your body in motion. They say that mental states can be found in the body. For example, if you're stressed, your breathing and/or upper back and be tight and restricted. So, if you do physical exercise to mediate that, like running or lifting weights and stretching, then you should feel much better. As for the down time, "reframe" your perception. I would go out and help someone who is worse off than I am, and that helps with a lot.

 

[JayJustCruising]

Suffering but getting better.

I've always hated working for someone, I get chump change when the boss gets the big money. Working my a$$ off for peanuts.
I've always been the type who wants to be my own boss. I wanted to start my own home service business, and I did. From the beginning everyone told me people couldn't afford my services. Parents called me a dreamer,I'm all talk, I don't have what it takes, just get a job like everyone else. I followed through with my own plan and guess what? I got clients! One client got me $15,000 a year the others not as much but it added up. I was happy.

Suddenly my parents and everyone around me became an expert on running a business, telling me how I should run my business. I tell them nicely otherwise, they would get irritated because I wouldn't take their "expert" advice. All the time I spent learning to build my own website, advertising, putting things in place and motion, the anxiety I felt on if it didn't work. People started acting funny and gave me a snarky attitude.

I fell into depression thinking why? Aren't you supposed to be happy for me? My friends and family?

Long story short that depressive episode costed me my clients and business. It opened my eyes... You gotta do it for yourself, NO ONE IN THIS WORLD will care if you make it or not, they won't see your vision. Unfortunately in my case maybe not even your own parents.

Now I'm here trying another approach, meeting like minded people and learn whatever this great forum has to teach.
My journey to get that lambo/fawk you money.

 

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[YoungPadawan]

The simplest advice I got from someone when I struggled with this was: "You can choose to feel whatever emotions you choose to feel. And you can choose to not feel the ones you don't."

It sounded too easy to be true....so what did I do?

I went on a 3 year journey deep DEEEEP into personal development, learned, practiced, and gotten results from everything there is on the topic...and none of those feelings are here anymore: fear, rejection, criticism... HA! I laugh at it.

Now, after that 3 year journey and learning all this stuff, and helping others...

I learned that you can choose to feel whatever emotion you want.

Did I need that long journey to develop myself to get past those things, or could I have simply let those emotions go immediately?

Who knows....


Side note - If I was helping someone one-on-one about this - I would not go with such a direct approach like I did here. This reply was must me thinking out loud.

I'm not sure it is as easy as just "feeling whatever emotions you choose you feel." Through my experiences, I believe there are 2 different kinds of depression: situational depression and biological depression.

Situational depression is easy to shrug off, like "it is only a phase that you will get through." In my opinion, biological depression is a different animal altogether. It is something that can affect someone to their very core, it is in their biology, and can affect them to the point of suicide.
."

 

[YoungPadawan]

P.S. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always available.

 

[YoungPadawan]

P.S. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always available.

Also, like others recommended, I also recommend exercise. As I am lazy, I tend to only do walking, but even walking helps a crapton. I also recommend drinking a Sh**ton of water. It helps to get your brain juices flowing and makes you feel better in the long haul.

Do it. You can thank me later.

 

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[conquer]

There was once a guy from Honolulu. His name was Steve Case.

In the early 80's he read a book about changing the future, making an impact.

He joined a startup called Control Video Corporation. The startups goal was to give Atari owners the ability to download games via phone line and modem. The company nearly went bankrupt.

In 1985, Case and leftover members of CVC founded Quantum Computer Services. They developed online services for Apples and PC's. Eventually they merged both services to become what is known today as America Online (AOL).

Today, Steve Case is worth $1.37
Billion


Oh yeah. Almost forgot. Oprah Winfrey used to smoke crack.

 

[Rudynate]

In july last year I was left with 50000gbp ($70,000) in debt from a failed business and pennies in the bank. All business debt not consumer. I cant begin to tell you how terrible that felt. Especially since I had never even had a car loan! The only thing that kept me going was knowing that i was the only one who could fix it. Now seven months later I have just over 1K in the bank and zero debt. Some people would look at that as a bad thing. All that work to be left with nothing. Me I look at it as great. If i keep it up I can't wait to see what is in store for me in seven months time. The point is if you feel like crap keep pushing, for a while i lost all motivation but the only way to get through is to get back on the horse. Find something to throw your energy into and you will stop worrying about what has happened as you will be more concerned about what IS happening. Dark times come to show us what we are capable of.

Outstanding result. Congratulations!!

 

[AndrewNC]

I'm not sure it is as easy as just "feeling whatever emotions you choose you feel." Through my experiences, I believe there are 2 different kinds of depression: situational depression and biological depression.

A lot of what I say goes against the mainstream view.

With the right tools and techniques, it is that easy.

I say this because for the last two years of my life, I lived, breathed, and slept with studying the topic. I went from the point of the negative emotions feeling real, and long term....and then I learned ways to remove any emotions very quickly (it usually takes me 60 seconds). There are people out there who do this for a living andthey hate the mainstream mental health approach because there are faster ways, which aren't being taught in colleges yet.

Either way, it took me two years of self-education, discovery, and it was a journey to learn those skills..but there are people out there who mastered the skills and help others and my mentor solves most mental and emotional issues in 20 minutes or less. From the other side, before I started this journey, another version of myself would scream "it's impossible all together" and now I realized that its actually very simple when you learn the tools - and put them to use.

There is a way...it's out there, but do you want to dedicate months or years of your life searching for the answer? I don't know - that's a choice we all make for ourselves

"whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."

 

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[Jon L]

I was clinically depressed for the first half of my life (at least). In the end, getting out of it was about *choosing* to *do* things that will give me life. The more a depressed person can do that, the faster they'll get out of their depression.

If you're so stuck that you just can't see a way forward, drugs and a therapist will clear the way for you to choose to do life-giving things. BUT...unless YOU DO life-giving things, all the talk and thought in the world won't matter much.

 

[ejames]

The point of this thread (don't know if similar threads exist) is this: what would be the one, single advice you would give to a fellow community member who is depressed? Please give your rationale, not just a quote you've borrowed from YouTube or self-help/motivational books. In other words, share your personal advice.

The reason why I've created this thread is because many entrepreneurs fight constant fear, rejection, criticism and so on. Such fights usually inflict many psychological wounds and as a result some of use make fatal decisions during such periods.

So... what would be your personal advice for the fellow community member who is struggling with fear, rejection and criticism? Fellow community member who is about to give up...fellow community member who is abandoned by everyone and sees no light at the end of the tunnel?

Depression is a physical state of mind. When I feel it i usually take 5HTP its a pre cursor to building up your seratonine levels.

 

[Rudynate]

A lot of what I say goes against the mainstream view.

With the right tools and techniques, it is that easy.

I say this because for the last two years of my life, I lived, breathed, and slept with studying the topic. I went from the point of the negative emotions feeling real, and long term....and then I learned ways to remove any emotions very quickly (it usually takes me 60 seconds). There are people out there who do this for a living andthey hate the mainstream mental health approach because there are faster ways, which aren't being taught in colleges yet.

Either way, it took me two years of self-education, discovery, and it was a journey to learn those skills..but there are people out there who mastered the skills and help others and my mentor solves most mental and emotional issues in 20 minutes or less. From the other side, before I started this journey, another version of myself would scream "it's impossible all together" and now I realized that its actually very simple when you learn the tools - and put them to use.

There is a way...it's out there, but do you want to dedicate months or years of your life searching for the answer? I don't know - that's a choice we all make for ourselves

"whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."

There's another side to this. One thing that has worked really well for me is to train myself to see feelings as not being very important. It works extremely well for day-to-day feelings that may be dis-empowering - sneaky little fears that you may not even recognize as fear, lethargy, tiredness. I don't know how it would work with an overwhelming feeling like deep grief or extreme fear.

The last time I faced anything overwhelming was in 2011 - I had a major spine surgery that left me laid up for months and at the same time, my partner's business failed - he had no money - literally - and owed tens of thousand of dollars. And I was more or less disabled and not in a position to do much to help him. The anxiety was eating me alive - couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, etc. etc. What I found that worked really well for this type of anxiety was to just do something - fold the laundry, pay bills, make a phone call - just keep occupied. As long as I kept myself occupied, I didn't worry and felt like everything would be fine. And it was.

 

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[Ninjakid]

I'm not sure it is as easy as just "feeling whatever emotions you choose you feel." Through my experiences, I believe there are 2 different kinds of depression: situational depression and biological depression.

Situational depression is easy to shrug off, like "it is only a phase that you will get through." In my opinion, biological depression is a different animal altogether. It is something that can affect someone to their very core, it is in their biology, and can affect them to the point of suicide.
."

I second this.

Depression is not exactly a bad thing. Just as sickness tells you there is disharmony is your body, depression is often saying there is disharmony in your mind.

The other thing to understand is that depression doesn't always mean there is something wrong with you. There's a variety of biological/environmental factors which can reasonably so cause a person to become depressed.

My advice would be to try to understand why you're feeling this way, while getting counselling to guide you. Once you have a better understanding you can take action to change it.

 

[Mr Cracker]

If you're so stuck that you just can't see a way forward, drugs and a therapist will clear the way for you to choose to do life-giving things. BUT...unless YOU DO life-giving things, all the talk and thought in the world won't matter much.

This is kind of a "What came first? The chicken or the egg?" situation. I think it all depends on the severity of the depression in hand. If it's not THAT bad the yes, you can meditate, start lifting, running, taking care of yourself etc...

However if it's a severe case you won't be able to meditate, lift or whatever; you just won't have it in you. In my opinion at this point you need treatment in whatever form it may come BEFORE doing these things. Yes, you can't be under treatment and just let it work everything out for you, but it's a good place to start.