The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

HOT! Having Children...Pros and Cons?

Accelerate wealth. Build a business that pays freedom. Join more than 70,000 entrepreneurs and register for the Fastlane Entrepreneur forum. Remove ads? Join the INSIDERS.

journeyman

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Apr 18, 2017
143
263
177
United Kingdom
29, no kids, no regrets nor do I plan to have any for at least 10 more years.

At the core of it having kids is a biological drive and an emotional decision. I'd say no matter what opinions/arguments are presented, if you want to have kids it will be clear and almost unavoidable.
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Craigcon01

New Contributor
Dec 19, 2020
7
13
13
Hi Fastlaners

My wife and I are trying to decide if to have children. She's 28 and I'm 26, so her remaining children bearing years are limited.

On one hand, we have a vision of a beautiful family and family culture etc. On the other hand, friends are warning that we'd be giving up our lives to take care of another human etc. We already know all this, but...

If you can:
  • Share advice/things we should consider
  • Share stories about your experiences, the good and bad, the pains and pleasure
  • Regrets of having or not having
  • If you don't have, do you feel a void? How do you fill it? Is it sufficient?
Please, no condescending responses, or 'you shouldn't have if you're asking this' sort of responses. I'm asking because there's immense value and learning in other perspectives.

Thanks!
Jon.
My view is that one reason you are on this planet is to pro-create, once you have millions you'll need an heir to pass it all onto!!
 

AndreeaCrs

New Contributor
Jan 8, 2021
3
1
11
My personal opinion is that you should just go with the first option that you feel, without wheighting in the pros and cons. It's just my opinion, not saying all should do the same
 

Tourmaline

Gold Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Jun 4, 2019
904
1,064
362
Texas
Kids are amazing and a lot of work.

But it's one of the biggest aspects of being human, of being an animal.

And there's nothing really like it, and it's utterly amazing.

It also gives you substantial drive for building legacy...since you have someone that will directly receive what you leave behind.

But you can't make your self have kids before your ready. And you definitely want to be ready.

It also makes you grow massively. The world no longer revolves around you.

However I don't think you have to sacrifice your self by any means. Rather you get better at managing your time and only doing what you really want to do.

Plus they're super cute and endlessly adorable and fun :D
 

GriffJ

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Jan 12, 2021
12
17
17
I'm 33 and a married woman so the question I get asked (a lot!) is; when are you having kids? Like it's expected of everyone to want them.

I have a wonderful husband and step son, (and a dog) I feel my life is fulfilled and I get great satisfaction from working on my goals and working towards a future where I can be free from the rat race and support my family.

I don't want children right now, but there are plenty of "older" women having children these days, maybe I'll change my mind, maybe I won't. If I'm being honest, I feel like I would be "tied down" with kids but I know plenty of successful people with children so maybe that's my own internal justification.

The funny thing is I do think my feelings would be different if I was already "free" one worry is that having children will trap you in the 9-5 having to provide, I'm sure that's not the case at all but I guess it's a very real fear when deciding these things.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, I think you have to make peace with what you decide though, regret is hard to live with.
 

ShepardHumphries

Bronze Contributor
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Feb 5, 2020
77
101
120
Hi Fastlaners

My wife and I are trying to decide if to have children. She's 28 and I'm 26, so her remaining children bearing years are limited.

On one hand, we have a vision of a beautiful family and family culture etc. On the other hand, friends are warning that we'd be giving up our lives to take care of another human etc. We already know all this, but...

If you can:
  • Share advice/things we should consider
  • Share stories about your experiences, the good and bad, the pains and pleasure
  • Regrets of having or not having
  • If you don't have, do you feel a void? How do you fill it? Is it sufficient?
Please, no condescending responses, or 'you shouldn't have if you're asking this' sort of responses. I'm asking because there's immense value and learning in other perspectives.

Thanks!
Jon.
Update? :)
 

Voice Angel

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Rat-Race Escape!
Read Millionaire Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Aug 12, 2019
205
300
169
Would love to know too what you decided!

I'm a bit late on this thread but thought I'd chime in too...

Having kids was the best decision I’ve ever made. They force you out of your personal bubble. You see the world in a new way as well. In some ways, your world has just expanded. I’d say they make my life better in every way.

Yes, there are some things we can’t just get up and do now that we have kids. But most things we can, with some planning.

And as well you do need more money. But setting aside a small amount off each incoming dollar (whether that’s a day job or entrepreneurial businesses), adds up quickly. Before we did that, we went through a very rough time back in the day (financially) but we hadn’t planned well back then. If you start now, it’s feasible and manageable.

I agree with others who have suggested that this is a great time to discuss the other aspects of having a family with your wife to prepare ahead mentally, i.e. religion, discipline, education.

My husband and I come from completely different backgrounds. He’s non religious (I won’t go so far as to say atheist) and I was brought up with 3 religions. We exposed the kids to several and let them decide. We were both brought up being spanked for discipline. We decided no spanking ever for our kids (it stayed that way – and they’re both great kids). So these are some aspects that are best discussed now before the kids come.

I also agree with the others who have said that words cannot describe the experience of having children. Whether you decide to have your own or adopt, the connection is awe-inspiring.

There will be some very trying times too! But you’ll deal with them.
They make you stronger.
 

Marigold

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Nov 15, 2018
188
315
167
Glasgow & Malaga
I have two children, 8 and 6. The first few years were the most challenging and painful years of my whole life. Lack of sleep, mainly.

My heart absolutely bursts every day with love for my children. I wish I'd had 10 of them. I home school both of them.

Start young, have many. Best thing you'll ever do in your whole life.

Be committed to your partner tho!
 

thechosen1

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Aug 25, 2020
1,932
3,697
863
Antarctica
I’m not ready yet but I plan to have a decently sized family. I think it’s an investment in your future. When you are old, you’re going to wish you made that investment - being surrounded by the adults you created, and their kids, and maybe even their babies too.

That’s the ultimate way to go out: wealthy, successful, surrounded by a loving family that you are able to pass the torch on to... every generation moving forward. That is my goal: a legacy, to make an impact that lasts longer than myself.

If you can have them, children are a blessing. I want to have more financial stability first, but it’s definitely (in my opinion) a big part of a life well lived.

Oh, and it’s important to raise them right so they are capable, too. That’s part of the legacy.
 

Antifragile

Platinum Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Rat-Race Escape!
Read Millionaire Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Mar 15, 2018
1,041
2,559
663
Vancouver, BC, Canada
I had no idea what I was missing before becoming a parent. Words can’t describe it. The kind of love and happiness I feel now! Seriously… never expected that, I send to think hard “do I want kids?” Now I can’t believe I didn’t get started sooner. Absolute joy and love.

Hard hard hard work too. But that’s the price you pay for the love and joy.


Edit:
- not everything in life can be explained and chosen logically. Kids fall into that category.

- it does help to have money. Can’t imagine how much harder it is for people without wealth and some type of time independence. You’d miss out on so much of the kids life by grinding it out 9-5 and beyond. All the more reason for Fastlane and Unscripted life.
 
Last edited:

MeloTheMelon

New Contributor
Jun 13, 2021
13
18
14
Don't have children right now, but thought about it a lot.
I don't like the idea of having a child, simply because I think that there are already too many people on the planet, and especially to many children without a family.
With that in mind, I just think it's better for me to adopt a child sometime in the future - when I think I would be able to care for them and give them the time and resources they deserve. Which also plays nicely with not having to think about the biological clock.
 
Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Marigold

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Nov 15, 2018
188
315
167
Glasgow & Malaga
I had no idea what I was missing before becoming a parent. Words can’t describe it. The kind of love and happiness I feel now! Seriously… never expected that, I send to think hard “do I want kids?” Now I can’t believe I didn’t get started sooner. Absolute joy and love.

Hard hard hard work too. But that’s the price you pay for the love and joy.


Edit:
- not everything in life can be explained and chosen logically. Kids fall into that category.

- it does help to have money. Can’t imagine how much harder it is for people without wealth and some type of time independence. You’d miss out on so much of the kids life by grinding it out 9-5 and beyond. All the more reason for Fastlane and Unscripted life.
I never wanted kids. I didn't think I was the maternal type - side note, every woman is.

You literally don't know what love is until you have them. It's quite the revelation :D
 

Sponsored Offers

  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE  You Are One Call Away From Living Your Dream Life - LightHouse’s Accountability Program ⚡
What I got was completely unexpected; @LightHouse generously talked with me for 2 straight hours...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE  Freelance University: Solve Every Freelance Problem (Especially on Upwork)
FU. 4 DAYS. 50% OFF BLACK FRIDAY SALE! If you're an Upwork freelancer, you'd be a fool not to...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE  For Sale: Food Brand with 4 Years of Happy Customers in a Fast-Growing Niche
So to get certified, it cost a fortune? How much exactly? That sucks that these "health...
MARKETPLACE  Fox Web School "Legend" Group Coaching Program 2021
Fox's Web School helps you learn a specialized skill which you can use to get to Fastlane. It's...
MARKETPLACE  Not sure how to start? This free book will teach you how to build a successful web design business
Hi Fox. Starting the book and got through the introduction. Had a conversation with Andy Black...


Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom