Getting Passengers for your Fastlane Ride

[Yankees338]

How do you convince people to believe in your Fastlane plan?

How do you get people to forget the "get a job" philosophies that were instilled in them when they were young?

Sometimes, it's not possible to just escape from the negativity by ridding your life of those "Negative Nancys". When it's family, how do you get them to support you? Same for close friends.

I'm not a fan of just moving on without everybody happy or not discussing money with some people; I'd prefer to find a way to make it work.

What's your M.O.?

 

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[mtnman]

What he said^^^. This still baffles me to this day, and I think it always will. Some people are just in a state where they are not open to change or seeing things in a different light. I have members of my family like this and it drives me nuts.

The worst part is that it's out of love that I get so irritated because I want a better life for them. But that's just it, "I" want it, but "they" have to want it. Until that moment, it's like beating a dead horse and it often zaps my encouraging spirit to sit and argue about it.

More than going after the money, I think a person has to come to a point where they ask themselves, "is this all there is, or all that I'm going to make of my life." There has to be a willingness to learn constantly and fail to win. Sometimes I wonder how I "understood" sometimes.

 

[australianinvestor]

I used to try. I don't do it very often anymore. I don't like the choice of words much, but Robert Kiyosaki explained it as not "teaching pigs to sing".

If I do help someone, I just show them my results. They are then very interested and will soak up information like a sponge, rather than trying to force it.

 

[Runum]

Sorry Yank, it's impossible to make people happy if they don't chose to be. Also, I learned not to share about what I am doing unless I am asked.

Your dad/family may never buy into what you are doing, even after you have millions and freedom to show for it. He must either be content with his place in life or scared to try anything else. In your case, you have not much to lose. In his case, he would be admitting to you that he may have screwed up over 20 years of his life. That's a tall order for a man with pride. However, your dad did do all right, he raised a smart son.

I will say that my wife listened to Legacy Dad's video about overcoming fear last night. She paid real close attention to what ATW and Doug had to say. I think, for her, seeing that other people were/are successful helps her believe that our goals are doable.

 

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[Yankees338]

This is the scenario that I'm dealing with: My dad wants me to get a job this summer. I want to start a business this summer. My mom...I think she just wants me to do something and be happy. Because of our varying opinions, my dad and I fight about this a lot. I always end up cursing when we fight, so he always yells at me for that, so we never get anything constructive done in our arguments because he avoids the basis of the argument.

The ironic things is that he owns his own business; it's an S-quadrant business, but a business nonetheless. He understands many of the Fastlane principles, but he avoids them and doesn't really acknowledge them. He came from pretty much nothing, so he wants me to get a job and work hard. My mom supports me, but when she hears my dad constantly instruct me to get a job, she usually gives in and moves to his side. She'll still help me, though, and she's even embraced some of the entrepreneurial mindset I've begun talking about.

It just seems like trying to convince my dad is hopeless. I don't have any other options at this point, so I'll have to just come up with a way to prove the effectiveness of the Fastlane mindset.

 

[Runum]

The yelling and cursing part won't help your cause. I know you are frustrated because he controls your life right now, but when my daughter raises her voice to me the discussion ends. If she wants something from me she has to present her case in a mature fashion and be willing to accept a no when it is received. You can show him how mature you are getting by being able to negotiate without going off.

Why don't you work on a job for him this summer and record the results. Then work on your business this fall and record the results. Then you would have something to compare?

 

[Yankees338]

The yelling and cursing part won't help your cause. I know you are frustrated because he controls your life right now, but when my daughter raises he voice to me the discussion ends. If she wants something from me she has to present her case in a mature fashion and be willing to accept a no when it is received. You can show him how mature you are getting by being able to negotiate without going off.

Why don't you work on a job for him this summer and record the results. Then work on your business this fall and record the results. Then you would have something to compare?

I know I gotta stop the cursing. He just pisses me off like no other. I realized as I was typing that part of my post that I could easily avoid that whole problem by NOT CURSING. How simple...in theory, at least...

I think I'm gonna pursue something on my own regardless of whether I get a job. I guess I just feel like I'm under-utilizing myself if I get a job, which I guess is a bad attitude, but I don't wanna become someone who just does filing in an office (like I do for my dad).

 

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[SteveO]

There is a lot to be learned by having a job. Sometimes the job is needed to springboard you forward. Unless you have a plan for capital in some other form, a job becomes essential.

Besides having startup money, jobs can teach you a lot about working with people and interacting in that environment. Discipline is something that people tend to struggle with. Jobs can help with that in some circumstances.

That does not mean that you are taking your eye off the prize.

Listen to your dad right now. Find a job with a real estate company or something related.

 

[australianinvestor]

My dad wants me to get a job this summer. I want to start a business this summer.

Open a company and hire yourself. You can have a company and a job, and tell your Dad you've been inspired by him ;-)

 

[RaisingWealth]

If you're bothered by the cursing you're doing then you should also invest some time in working on that aspect of your personality. What good is eventually being in the fastlane if people think you're a jerk. Look into books like 7 habits of highly effective people by dale carnegie (sp?). Improving yourself financially is only one aspect of the fastlane mentality. You should also try to improve yourself emotionally and physically.

tl;dr: Get Happy, Get Fit, Get Wealthy

 

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[NerdSmasher]

At 17 it can be incredibly difficult to get people to believe in your plans and ideas... especially parents, as it seems. (I know, I'm 17 myself lol)
In my case, I just went off and made my business myself last summer... the day I got my debit card, I bought the web hosting, site name, and started with Google Adwords; I had created the site a few days before. But, my parents weren't forcing me to get a job, as I had just got a car, so we were being a bit patient with that. Then, when my business just "happened" to do well, they never worried about me getting one. At least not that summer.

They want me to get one now, as that business has stopped working well for me; but they won't force me to, because they know when my money gets tight I'll likely come up with something similar again... and summer has only just begun!

Sadly, it seems, the best way to get people to have faith in your ideas is to show them that they do work. And, for you, I'm sure that could be difficult; because it seems like you're going to have to work with your parents on this one, whereas I more or less worked around them at first.

If you want to convince your father, though, why not sit down with him and try to run some numbers by him? If he owns his own business, I'm sure he'd understand what you meant by everything; how much money you're going to spend, and how much you could start out making, by when. Of course, that number varies greatly, as mine was significantly higher than I thought it would be, while it lasted, but you have to start somewhere.

And, if that doesn't work, a job isn't really a bad thing; you could get exercise, meet intelligent people you may ask for help from later, or just see how an entire store is run by a manager and whatnot. Even working at McDonald's could be great, just to see how their simple complexity actually works.. and, who knows, that information might help you later if you ever decide to buy a franchise!

But, in the end, you've gotta do what you've gotta do, and can only do it how you see fit. So, I wish you the best of luck, and hope it works out well for you!!

 

[^eagle^]

I like the idea of geting a part time job to raise capital for your business venture. I would suggest not working for your father though. just some job you work 10 to 20 hours a week to raise a little capital. I like the idea of working in a real estate office.

Compromise and negotiate. You will get some valuable skills.

I use my job to raise capital for my investments. I put in way too many hours but that motivates me even more to get out of the rat race. Think of the job as a springboard to launch your business.

 

[Bilgefisher]

Honestly its a slow process. Chipping away at that rock one strike at a time. It can take literally years, even if they are willing.

I let my excitement be the motivator for my family. I get really excited about what I am doing and its contagious. I don't over do it, but leave just enough for them to want to hear more. Its slowly rubbing off.

I did tell them, I wouldn't even contemplate working with them until they read RDPD. I want them to really understand where I am coming. That book is like a single match that starts a bonfire. But I want them to want to make their own bonfire and not just bathe in the heat of mine. And honestly, I will keep at it until I am blue in the face. After all, they are family and I certainly don't want to give up on them.

 

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[andviv]

How do you convince people to believe in your Fastlane plan?

You can't. Only results will make a difference.

The ironic things is that he owns his own business; it's an S-quadrant business, but a business nonetheless. He understands many of the Fastlane principles, but he avoids them and doesn't really acknowledge them. He came from pretty much nothing, so he wants me to get a job and work hard.
...
It just seems like trying to convince my dad is hopeless. I don't have any other options at this point, so I'll have to just come up with a way to prove the effectiveness of the Fastlane mindset.

Your dad really understands the S-quadrant risks, that's why he wants you to have a job.
It sounds counterintuitive, I know.
This concept was also weird for me the first time I heard about it.
however, the book The Millionaire Mind goes into great details about this point. Usually successful entrepreneurs put a lot of effort and "suffer" while building their successful business. One of the motivators for them is their children. They want to succeed so their kids do well in life and have a very good financial situation. So what do they do? They want them to have a job, where the paycheck comes every month as long as you are an employee. Why? Because they know how many sleepless night they have had thinking where the money is going to come from to pay the bills, and more importantly, to pay the mortgage/rent and food for the family.

I know I gotta stop the cursing. He just pisses me off like no other. I realized as I was typing that part of my post that I could easily avoid that whole problem by NOT CURSING. How simple...in theory, at least...

I think I'm gonna pursue something on my own regardless of whether I get a job. I guess I just feel like I'm under-utilizing myself if I get a job, which I guess is a bad attitude, but I don't wanna become someone who just does filing in an office (like I do for my dad).

I won't even bother pontificating about the cursing. This is just a "gut reaction". We all know that it is wrong yet many still do it. Part of growing is to learn how to rationalize your behavior and to control yourself. It is not only about this reaction, it happens to many people who eat/smoke/drink/gamble/etc when something happens. In your case, and this is not the first time you have mentioned, you know you go off when you and your dad are having a discussion. You know the trigger. Now you have to find ways to identify when you are about to loose it and somehow control it. I understood this concept from some Tony Robbins tapes. In my case I used to eat EVERYTHING that was on my plate. Why? Cause I thought if I don't eat it all I may suffer the hunger later when food was not available. I know, not to rational, but that was my "gut feeling". I had to learn to control it and the key was to recognize that the trigger was to just start eating as soon as the plate was on the table. I was not in control anymore, I had to eat it all.

 

[andviv]

I think you should work in changing your attitude about what having a job means.
A job is a great learning opportunity.
Do you like real estate? Then go "do filing in an office" of a real estate broker, or a mortgage broker, so you learn from the business first hand.
Do you like businesses? then go find a job as sales person. I wish I had learned to sell when I was young. I do feel that is a weakness that I have to overcome. You don't need the income, so enjoy the time you have to learn how to sell (and to learn how not to blow on customers' faces when they reject you).

But more important than that, remember that, whether you are a successful business owner, Real Estate Investor, or any other type of successful entrepreneur, you will have employees. If you believe having a job is such a bad thing then how do you honestly think you will treat them? Will you look down at them because they are "just employees". Well, they are the ones that will help you make your fortune and to keep your business running.

***********
Another thing that may be in your dad's mind is that he needs help at work, you benefit from the profits from this business, yet you don't want to help him to provide for the family. Could that be part of the issue?

 

[Yankees338]

Thanks for all the responses, everyone. Here are a few things I'll add:

1) I never get angry at people other than my parents to the point where I end up cursing at them; I think it's just that I started doing it when I was younger, and getting grounded never got me to break the habit, so it has stuck. I can always control myself to the point where people think I lack emotions when I'm with anybody else, but I struggle with this when I'm with my family. It's definitely something I need to work on.

2) My dad does need help at work, and my mom has said that to him many times (she's the one who does most of the clerical work there). However, it's not like I just sit back and reap the benefits of his labor; I come in there whenever my mom needs someone to cover for her, or when my dad needs any help with something that needs to get done. I would bet that I do more to help my dad than any of my friends who have parents that own a business.

3) I always help my parents whenever they need something. They often overlook the fact that I'm a very helpful son and grandson, and I do whatever my parents need me to do. For example, both of my grandpas are now living in an assisted living facility because of falls they had last month. Luckily, both are as strong as ever (one is even better than he had been, and he loves the facility he's in so much that he wants to become a permanent resident), but my grandmas both need rides to and from the facility every day. I have practically become my parent's chauffeur. The only time my dad allows me to take the car that was supposed to be mine (but he drives it b/c he doesn't want to have to get another car) is when he needs me to use it to run errands.

4) I've thought about getting a job, and I really don't have a problem with getting one; the thing is, I don't want to become accustomed to a job. There's a new luxury condo complex down the street from me that is almost complete. I've been thinking about applying for a job in their sales office, but I can't see myself doing anything but filing and getting coffee for the big shots. I guess my problem with this is that I feel like I'm under-utilizing my skills; I know damn well that I'm qualified to get a business going, and I think that the experience that I would gain is more valuable than anything I could get from listening to conversations between sales associates. I hate to make it sound like a job like that would be below me, but that's essentially how I feel.

Thanks again for all the help. Rep+++ for the quality responses!

 

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[Luke12321]

I know where you are coming from Yankee. Getting a job sucks....the idea of it just plain out sucks. You can gain great experience. Honestly, I would say all the true fastlane millionaires here had jobs at one point. After awhile....the job will suck, you will get tired of it and it will provide you with motivation to start your own venture and never go back to the job again!

 

[Allthingznew]

You may not like the sound of this, but honor your dad and get a job. Many have already pointed out that there is much you can learn in a job, and you will diffuse the situation with your dad by obeying him. Then later, when you try to reason with him you will be calmer, and he has a better chance of being open to listening to you when you're not being a "rebellious teen". (sorry for the stereotype but it's probably in his head)

If you can go to school and play ball at the same time, why can't you have a 30 hour a week job and start a business?

Additionally, the experience you gain from working in a job will give you the ability to identify with being an employee, which you will likely benefit from in your business. You won't get used to the job, it's just a summer job, right?

I think you will find things will go well with you by honoring your dad and doing what he's asking. Call it Karma or whatever, but I think you would be surprised.

 

[mtnman]

I'm gonna chime in here, but with no intent to offend anyone who's trying to give Yanks some insight.

I don't have much to add, as everyone has given great advice on opposing scenarios. But, just remember, life is what you make it. Of course you want to make the best choice to get you where you want to go.

But ultimately, you're not in a bad position either way. However, your attitude can make or break that experience. Meaning, you might not like the "now", but how you go about reacting and acting will affect your "later." This is only one of many choices yet to come. Make the best one you can and half fun doing it.

Approaching anything with the right attitude WILL change what happens next. If you think something will suck going into it, it will. Why? Because you will be focused on what you don't want instead of what you do want. What does this do? Closes the mind to "how can I." In other words, "hey I don't like this, but HOW CAN I use this to my advantage and turn this toward the direction I want to go" would be eliminated from that thought process. Who woulda thunk you could leverage your thoughts.

It could seem like the worst of times in the moment, but could turn into something great if you let it; you always have choice!. And I speak from experience on that last statement by the way.

"With great struggle comes great reward"

 

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[Forza]

I think you've got to demonstrate that you really do SEE HOW to do it (and if you don't have all the resources, you SEE HOW to get them), and come across like you actually CAN and someday WILL do it.

 

[phlgirl]

There is a lot to be learned by having a job. Sometimes the job is needed to springboard you forward. Unless you have a plan for capital in some other form, a job becomes essential.

Besides having startup money, jobs can teach you a lot about working with people and interacting in that environment. Discipline is something that people tend to struggle with. Jobs can help with that in some circumstances.

That does not mean that you are taking your eye off the prize.

Listen to your dad right now. Find a job with a real estate company or something related.

I have to go with SteveO on this one, Yankees. There is much to be learned by having a job. In addition to whatever the core focus of a business might be, there are always administrative/overhead functions which are critical to running a successful business. You might be surprised at how much you can learn by just being around a well run business.

Who knows - you may also make some great contacts who will support you in your future ventures.

Perhaps you could contact some reputable REI companies or even a solid Title company. Try to get the owner on the phone and discuss your goals, etc. Everyone loves a go-getter. I think you would be a valuable resource to any team, Yankees.

As mentioned, you can always start your own venture, on the side.

Best of luck!

 

[White8]

I would recommend getting a part time job as well as starting a business. In addition to the experience the job will provide you with more cash to invest.

I learned a tremendous amount from the business owner at my first part time high school job and ended up becoming a partner in the business as well as making a friend that has provided me with access to the A list people in my city.

 

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