Foreclosure is imminent.

[MitchM]

Google "how to get cash for keys" you'll get some ideas.

Thank you. Looking into it.

I meant disingenuous as an incomplete story, not as lying.

Gotcha. Sorry I got defensive.

I Reread your other posts and not sure why you keep saying 'we'. Your money is gone and this is your parents and now step-dad's issue to figure out.

Get far away from your parents for a year or two and spread your own wings. This is not your problem.

I've been working on my business while staying here and helping her. I have learned more in this process than I ever have before. I don't feel as though I am stunting my growth - although I have made mistakes in overreaching that I wish I had not (such as putting all of my money into this...) This will be over with soon, whether it ends well or not.

I just fundamentally disagree that it's not my problem. Having a strong family is one of my highest values. Even though the money is F*cked I feel like my efforts have paid off. I made naive decisions that I have learned from and I understand that if someone is drowning it is better for one person to drown than for both to drown.

It seems like there should be an awful lot of lawyers involved and there are...none? It sounds like your (step?)father bought an expensive house and was able to walk away in the divorce without having to pay alimony, child support, and there was no disposition of property. Either there is a lot missing from the story or both parties in the divorce need to sue their attorneys for malpractice.

You really really really need to speak to lawyers: the divorce attorneys on both sides, a BK attorney and/or a real estate attorney. You might want to look into conservatorship of your mother's affairs as well, because it doesn't sound like she can take care of anything. I'm surprised your father has had zero interest or financial or other responsibility in all of this, especially since your mother isn't well.

I admire you for wanting to keep your mother out of homelessness, but there is a huge range of living situations betweens a 2 mil home and the gutter, and I don't see why you can't rent a small house to share.

My father bought the house when I was 3. They divorced when I was 10 or so. The truth of the matter is that my father left my mother with plenty of assets (rental properties) and she could have sold the house earlier if she had wanted to.

Slowly the rental properties started being sold off due to reasons that I won't get into. She started off with 17 after the divorce, and now she has zero. The mistakes really are on her shoulders, which is the part that makes this such an emotional burden for her.

I shouldn't have ever tried to save her with my money. That has made it even worse for her because of the incredible guilt she feels. If we foreclose that will surely weigh heavily on her heart. She's a kind and compassionate person but she was never the money maker. Her incompetence shined through and now we are here. She's learned a lot and has been humbled by the experience. We are all going to step out of this stronger - regardless of how much money is left.

I may sound like a weak pushover who needs to stand up for himself, but I have learned to draw the line and put myself first. Remember that coming out of this with a sale means I get some of my money back.

 

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[LightHouse]

2 things

#1 to answer your question from the original post. The refi is based on appraised value not selling price, have you had any recent apprasils on the property? What does your local govt think it's worth(tax assessment value)?

#2 what kind of answers are you looking for here? You are putting a lot of your personal story out there, but it's all noise. We want to help but you need to get to brass tacks here. What's your 1/3/6 month plan and goals at this moment?

 

[ZCP]

Save the house or not..... still doesn't fix the real issue......

 

[MitchM]

Save the house or not..... still doesn't fix the real issue......

The real issue is that my mom has no idea how to handle money and doesn't work. Or were you alluding to something else?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

The issue with #2 is that even if we drop the house's price aggressively we aren't guaranteed to sell it within that period - and from my understanding dropping the price of the house will make the LTV way too high for someone to refinance us. This is assuming that they will look at the current price of the house to assess whether or not the loan is worth it for them. Can anyone contradict this?

Huh? If you sell the house it's none of your business how the new buyer acquires the money.

If I buy this house (because it's a good deal and undermarket) I'm paying cash. You get the loan paid off and go on your merry way. I don't give a shit about LTV. And if you're selling cheap/undermarket, LTV is not a problem because the appraisal will come in higher than the selling price.

Ultimately it is up to my mom who is more interested in refinancing

LOL. Your mother has no business being in the house. That's the problem here.

Sell the damn house. A property in the luxury market will STILL sell as long as it is priced aggressively. If you're being honest about the home's market value being near $2M, it will sell fast at $1.4 or 1.5. Sell it and pay off the damn loan.

I see absolutely no issue or problem here -- just an inflated ego and lot of f*cking stubbornness from someone who *thinks* they can live in 10,000 square foot McMansion. I feel bad for you man having to manage this shitshow.

 

[ZCP]

The real issue is that my mom has no idea how to handle money and doesn't work. Or were you alluding to something else?

Correct. Do not lose sight of correcting the REAL problem.
This is like a liver transplant for an alcoholic.
Quit living in the past and figure out how to give her a future.

 

[biophase]

Correct. Do not lose sight of correcting the REAL problem.
This is like a liver transplant for an alcoholic.
Quit living in the past and figure out how to give her a future.

So what's the difference between letting it go into foreclosure and selling at $1.2 and breaking even?

You still seem to think that you can sell and get some money from this. I see it as a lost cause. You are not going to find a buyer and close before your HML forecloses. What is this $150k penalty? And who owes it if it is foreclosed? How is this enforced? Obviously, if your mom can't pay the loan, she can't pay the penalty.

I just don't see refinance as an option at all, even with another HML.

 

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[Thoelt53]

Correct. Do not lose sight of correcting the REAL problem.
This is like a liver transplant for an alcoholic.
Quit living in the past and figure out how to give her a future.

Right.

GTFO. Cut your losses. And rebuild.

Neither you, nor your mother, can rebuild until this dead limb is severed off.

 

[MitchM]

Huh? If you sell the house it's none of your business how the new buyer acquires the money.

If I buy this house (because it's a good deal and undermarket) I'm paying cash. You get the loan paid off and go on your merry way. I don't give a shit about LTV. And if you're selling cheap/undermarket, LTV is not a problem because the appraisal will come in higher than the selling price.

I'm sorry, to be more clear, my mom is under the impression that dropping the listed price will ruin our chance to get a hard money loan in the instance that the house doesn't sell within the period before foreclosure. Essentially she thinks it eliminates plan B - but regardless I have still been trying to nail it home with her that it IS just that. Plan B.

LOL. Your mother has no business being in the house. That's the problem here.

Sell the damn house. A property in the luxury market will STILL sell as long as it is priced aggressively. If you're being honest about the home's market value being near $2M, it will sell fast at $1.4 or 1.5. Sell it and pay off the damn loan.

I see absolutely no issue or problem here -- just an inflated ego and lot of f*cking stubbornness from someone who *thinks* they can live in 10,000 square foot McMansion. I feel bad for you man having to manage this shitshow.

You're exactly spot on. Without going too much into the details - although she is no longer really in her depression like she was before - she's completely delusional in many aspects and often acts quite psychotic. It makes it very very hard to get this all sorted out. At times it gets unbearable but things are definitely improving.

Correct. Do not lose sight of correcting the REAL problem.
This is like a liver transplant for an alcoholic.
Quit living in the past and figure out how to give her a future.

I'm doing my best on that front. Her husband still isn't working and she tells me she is going to get a job as soon as this shit is over with. I don't know if that is true. She used to be a chiropractor so she could get her license back again... but that'd take like a year I think.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Essentially she thinks it eliminates plan B

There is no Plan B. Plan A is the only option.

It's no different than, gee, Plan A we sell the house at a big discount or Plan B, we win the lottery.

 

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[G-Man]

You're exactly spot on. Without going too much into the details - although she is no longer really in her depression like she was before - she's completely delusional in many aspects and often acts quite psychotic. It makes it very very hard to get this all sorted out. At times it gets unbearable but things are definitely improving.

I really respect that you have such a deep sense of responsibility for others. It's uncommon even in people twice your age.

That said: You're attempting to shield other people from that hostile bitch called "Reality". You can't do it forever. You are most likely going to lose this house. You can either take the initiative, sell and move on, or you can keep playing the role of band leader on the Titanic.

I think you'll find it oddly relieving to just take it on the chin and move on. I think you might even be surprised by your family. People often become calmer and more rational when there's no longer any way to prop up the un-reality. That constant anxiety you've all been feeling for years might even go away.

 

[WJK]

I'd like to preface what will be a rather desperate and negative post with some positivity.

Anybody got an idea of WTF I should do?

I am a professional real estate investor, hard money lender and I've been in real estate for 41 years. You are between a rock and hard spot. There's no way for you guys to save the house. Facts are facts. You have no real equity position (1.4 - 1.15 - costs and back payments = zip or a negative number). If I was you, I'd drop the price and sell it ASAP -- just hoping to break -- even while I would keep talking to my lender step by step. Refinancing isn't an option. You and your mom can't qualify because of your lack of equity, and you can't make the payments as it is. Call your dad and see what he says. Will he help you? If nothing else, give the house back to the hard money lender -- a deed in lieu of foreclosure. The sooner you guys get out of there, the better. Those types of situations consume all your life's juices. Get up, brush yourself off. Find another place and another way to live. It's sounds like you guys are going to do some serious down sizing. Have an auction with all the personal property in the house to raise some cash for your move. You're NOT going to need 99 % of all of that stuff for your new life. You're biggest problem is going to be your mom. I bet her ego and self-image are all tied up with that big house and that lifestyle she had with your dad...

 

[mThree2K]

Be prepared, because even if you work out a solution for her situation it seems like she will stand in her own way when it is time to wrap this thing up and say good bye to the house.

The whole refinance thing sounds like just another try to keep things like they were before, nonsense, the harsh reality is different.

I'm sorry for you buddy because you still hope to get some of your money back, and I hope that you somehow will, but this will be utterly difficult as buyers in this price range usually smell when there is blood on the streets.

You just have 2 weeks left meaning you have to go down to bargain niveau regarding the sell price



Enviado desde mi Mi Note 2 mediante Tapatalk

 

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[WildFlower]

So I'm way late. What ended up happening? I'll post my thoughts for others in a bad situation.

Our realtor wants to drop the price as soon as possible.

Remember Realtors just want to make money. They will always operate that way. Bankruptcy would be a good option. But that's next quote.

We've looked into bankruptcy and I'm going to advise her to consult with a lawyer.

What did the lawyer say? BK wouldn't have fixed your problem BUT it would have held off things like the crazy $600 a day fees etc. while you fix your problem and sell the house or something. The Courts wouldn't allow you to be completely raked over the coals (I'm not an atty but have helped many save their homes)

a cash for keys deal

This! If they wanted the house you could have offered to give the keys back with full forgiveness of debt. Even if you were underwater.

Curious what ended up happening. I'm sorry about your brother. We just lost someone close to the family to drugs.

 

[MitchM]

So I'm way late. What ended up happening? I'll post my thoughts for others in a bad situation.



Remember Realtors just want to make money. They will always operate that way. Bankruptcy would be a good option. But that's next quote.


What did the lawyer say? BK wouldn't have fixed your problem BUT it would have held off things like the crazy $600 a day fees etc. while you fix your problem and sell the house or something. The Courts wouldn't allow you to be completely raked over the coals (I'm not an atty but have helped many save their homes)



This! If they wanted the house you could have offered to give the keys back with full forgiveness of debt. Even if you were underwater.

Curious what ended up happening. I'm sorry about your brother. We just lost someone close to the family to drugs.

Thanks for reaching out and taking the time to comment! Thankfully everything has vastly improved. My mother had to file bankruptcy and we ended up having to vacate the house on like a weeks notice.

Things got hairy and complicated and my mom lost basically everything and I am still not sure if I will be getting any of my money back (we will know in a few weeks).

My brother is doing better though... he has been sober since he totaled his car earlier this year and ended up with a DUI. That was pretty scary.

The storm has essentially passed - my dad is giving shelter to both my mom and brother and I have decided to stay with him as well to help around until I move somewhere at the beginning of next year.

It feels good to finally have normalcy and not be stressing about my mom and brother all of the time while trying to grow my business!

Sure, I still worry about them at times, but they are doing so much better - now I feel I can turn my mind off and relax when I want to

Thank you for asking!

 

[Almantas]

Thanks for reaching out and taking the time to comment! Thankfully everything has vastly improved. My mother had to file bankruptcy and we ended up having to vacate the house on like a weeks notice.

Things got hairy and complicated and my mom lost basically everything and I am still not sure if I will be getting any of my money back (we will know in a few weeks).

My brother is doing better though... he has been sober since he totaled his car earlier this year and ended up with a DUI. That was pretty scary.

The storm has essentially passed - my dad is giving shelter to both my mom and brother and I have decided to stay with him as well to help around until I move somewhere at the beginning of next year.

It feels good to finally have normalcy and not be stressing about my mom and brother all of the time while trying to grow my business!

Sure, I still worry about them at times, but they are doing so much better - now I feel I can turn my mind off and relax when I want to

Thank you for asking!

You're a living proof that real life heroes don't wear capes. Rep+.

 

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