JAJT
Legendary Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
I sometimes catch flack for saying this, but I believe 100% that people don't just "have" mental issues.
You catch flack because it's a bullshit belief, not a fact.
My son (7) is diagnosed with ADHD, which I hate to even say because out of all the possible mental illnesses out there, ADHD is the most made fun of for any number of reasons ("oh, you're just lazy, dumb, undisciplined, bla bla bla...".
Let me tell you - my wife and I spent 2 genuine years trying to behaviorally managing my son's mental health. He's not from a bad home. We're not lazy parents. He eats well, gets enough exercise, and is living a great life with "no excuses" to point to. We've read books on the subject, implemented behavioral suggestions from a psychologist who specializes in it, etc...
Up to and including that time, we received concerns from EVERY caregiver he was in contact with. His martial arts instructor, his many various teachers, his soccer coach, his daycare lady, his summer camp counselors - everyone. He was hurting people, kicking them, punching them, knocking things off desks, stealing things from other kids, throwing dangerous objects, being literally uncontrollable (even by us in our own home), ending up in the principals office regularly, lying, etc... and the common theme through all of that? The words "he doesn't do it out of hate or anger". He was literally doing all this impulsively and without thought or control.
Our son would literally sit in bed crying his eyes out because "my brain makes me do things that I don't want to do".
Again - this was not the product of a broken home. This was my son in a cared-for and loving environment with extremely patient parents actively working to help him. We were trying everything in our power to help him.
About 6 months back I talked to a lady by chance at a park who had experience with children with ADHD (she was a teacher from a school across town). I told her my frustrations and said we were extremely against medication because we didn't want to medicate our child. She said that she would never tell us what to do but that she's seen amazing things with some of her students who ended up on medication and the biggest, most pronounced difference with the children was their self esteem and social belonging. They were no longer being yelled at and told to 'stop' all day, every day, their entire childhood lives. Classmates who refused to play with the 'problem' children started including them once they were able to control their behavior. As an avid lover of psychology and success myself, this hit me like a ton of bricks. I had never considered the negative impact of self esteem and friendship that my son was going through as a result of his condition.
We talked to our doctor and did a very, very small trial of ADHD medication (concerta extended release), just to see how he took to it.
Look at all these terrible side effects:
stomach pain,
loss of appetite,
headache,
dry mouth,
nausea,
vomiting,
sleep problems (insomnia),
anxiety,
dizziness,
weight loss,
irritability,
vision problems,
skin rash,
nervousness,
numbness/tingling/cold feeling in the hands or feet, and
sweating.
Wow, all doom and gloom. Why would anyone put a child through this?!?!
Well F*ck me - my son is thriving on this stuff.
Absolutely thriving.
The ONLY side effect he saw was a lack of appetite (which is a problem for growth reason), and that went away after a month. His teacher is now asking we send him to school with MORE food because he finishes it all and asks for more.
He is 100% the same child, with the same personality and the same likes and dislikes and same hilarious humor he always had, but he now can pay attention to things for a change. He can control himself in ways he never could before. He's not hitting anyone, he's getting asked to go to parties at friend's houses for a change, the teachers all love him, his extra curricular coaches love him, he plays nicely with his sister, he picked up a love of reading (which was impossible before), he's thriving in math (impossible before), and has done a complete 180 on all the negative behaviors that we tried for 2 years to manage through behavior alone.
He went from bottom of the class to top of the class - the teachers want him to do some extra summer-work on a few subjects because they feel he could be really ahead of the curve going into the next grade. He's being treated like the intelligent child we knew he was but was entirely unable to show before medication.
I was once the type of person to poo-poo on this shit but having a son with a real problem has really changed my perspective on the subject.
The medication, with all the nasty side effects, and all the nasty social stigma, has been without a doubt the BEST decision we've made for our son in his entire life. It was an impossibly hard decision for us to make but it was worth it in spades.
That's the thing with mental illness - you can't see it and it's very hard to notice unless you have someone in your life who is living through it.
And just because medication has nasty side effects, doesn't mean you WILL have those side effects. Different people react to different medication differently. That's why they do studies. That's why they warn you what to look out for. If you react poorly to a medication you may very well need to pivot to a new medication or decide if the side-effects are better than or worse than your condition.
I get that it's funny to laugh at the side effects of certain drugs, especially for diseases and conditions you can't see (like mental illness), but this shit genuinely helps a lot of people. If you don't like it - just don't take it. Don't go calling those who need it sheep, or saying their conditions aren't real. Maybe try living with someone you care about who feels at war with their own brain before you go throwing stones.
Last edited: