Aren't you scared ?

[nothingness]

I was bullied. It created a victim mindset that stuck with me all the way from 1997 'till around 2014. I used to go around putting my life story on forums and facebook groups and then feeling good receiving all the nice nice hug hug advice and never actually do anything about it. It's only when someone with the real kindness to tell me what's really up whilst "looking like a prick" snapped me out of that victim mindset funk and managed to actually start changing my life. Tough love it's called and it works. The world we live in now is a soft comfortable one despite tragedies being inflicted on others. It creates the ultimate victims; hard life early on, and a soft, reassuring, victim promoting life after. That does no one any good.

IF you have a problem, you need to face it directly and conquer it. Aka "stop being a pussy". Perfect advice for this situation.

"Aww poor you have a cuddle" is just saying to their victim mindset oriented ego "what you are doing now is giving you attention, keep doing it" and so they will forever stay in their current rut.

 

[KenDunlop]

Very motivating. Thank you. I don’t know what it is connected with, but sometimes it’s really scary, and not for myself, but for the children. I want to be that “ideal” parent, and because of fear it’s even hard to think about trying. I think it will pass, but I'm glad that so many people have something to say about this, it's really important to me.

Here's another angle. Good parents are mature and responsible. Which is more responsible?
The Slow Lane involves going to a 9-5 job, taking orders and being provided for all the way. At work you're shielded from a lot of the uncertainty in the market (until you're aren't) and you're told in advance how much money you'll make each month. When you finally retire, the government will take care of you (except they probably won't). A lot of the appeal of the Slow Lane is that someone else takes care of you. It's much like a prolonged childhood.
The Fast Lane forces you to confront the full uncertainty that life has to offer and take more responsibility for yourself. You have to find your own answers, and make your own money. Surely the 'ideal parent' would choose the Fast Lane and teach their kids to do the same.

 

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[JackWhite]

Aren't you afraid of being stuck at a 9-5 for all your adult life until you're sick or too old to provide for your family?

Aren't you afraid of barely saving up enough to live somewhat comfortably over decades of work, only to have a market crash clear out all your savings?

Aren't you afraid of the statist Ponzi schemes defaulting with their overleveraged, overburdened, overwhelmingly ludicrous fiscal situation?

Yes, entrepreneurship and the Fastlane can be scary. It's scary many times and I can assure you everyone here has had to deal with fear in one way or another.

But isn't dealing with the fear on your own terms, in an environment where your success depends on YOU and your skills and ingenuity... just... better?

What if you fail to cope and make a mistake on the slowlane? You get laid off. You may lose your house. Maybe you end up bankrupt or in jail. Except all of that can happen due to things completely outside of your control.

The slowlane isn't safer. It's just familiar.

So accept that fear is part of the journey. Face it. Overcome the specific instances that create the fear. Build the skills to do it deliberately and consistently, each time you encounter an obstacle. And you'll be the type of person who can build a family they can be proud of.

Hiding in the illusion of safety until the threats you were ignoring make it collapse around you, along with your life, simply won't cut it.

A disaster like in 2008/9 will happen again. Where do you want to be when it does?

Totally agree with you. But the fact is that your comment says that I can and most likely am afraid to lose time, work, home, and so on. But the fact is that it's not entirely scary, I'm just not afraid of it. I'm afraid to be responsible for the NEW LIFE, because it's one thing to ruin your life and realize that you yourself are to blame, and another thing is to create a new life and destroy it, or not give it what it would cost. Do you understand?

 

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[DeletedUser84644]

I was bullied. It created a victim mindset that stuck with me all the way from 1997 'till around 2014. I used to go around putting my life story on forums and facebook groups and then feeling good receiving all the nice nice hug hug advice and never actually do anything about it. It's only when someone with the real kindness to tell me what's really up whilst "looking like a prick" snapped me out of that victim mindset funk and managed to actually start changing my life. Tough love it's called and it works. The world we live in now is a soft comfortable one despite tragedies being inflicted on others. It creates the ultimate victims; hard life early on, and a soft, reassuring, victim promoting life after. That does no one any good.

IF you have a problem, you need to face it directly and conquer it. Aka "stop being a pussy". Perfect advice for this situation.

"Aww poor you have a cuddle" is just saying to their victim mindset oriented ego "what you are doing now is giving you attention, keep doing it" and so they will forever stay in their current rut.

I think if you do that the way David Goggins does it, then that's fine. Just don't do it like the way a Hitler would do it. Now there are some situations imo (Like being raped, abused, etc) where it's valid for someone to be a "victim". Telling someone that went through that kind of trauma to quit being a victim just basically tells them that their suffering is invalid. That something must be wrong with them to feel that way (Stuff like that is where you would advise someone to get psychological help). But if it's stuff as insignificant as crying over spilled milk, then yeah there might be some merit into using the tough love approach even though it's not my kind of style personally.

 

[K1 Lambo]

Recently, I started to think about the fact that I want my own family (wife, children, and so on), but the problem is that I am afraid of not coping, making a mistake that will affect not only my life, but also the life of my wife and children. Have you ever had this happen? How did you deal with it?

I'd offer a thorough response, but this guy hasn't been back since he made this post, so I'll spare my time as it appears this is a "Drive By" poster.

The brief version was well versed by @Speed112 -- yes I'm scared, but I'm more scared of living a life full of regret, mediocrity, and thankless back-breaking work, only to die and realize that my life was as boring, meaningless, and uneventful as watching grass grow.

I love that response from MJ. I think about that too. Like I don't want to be the 70-80 year old guy who just lived by; had an average life, lived in an average house, had an average paying job, had his 401k, had a vw minivan and never did anything extraordinary to change his fate. Never became a multi-millionaire(no one in my family is a wealthy guy. All live paycheck to paycheck ). That's a huge motivator for me to say the least. To provide a much better future for my future kids. Buy my son or daughter a Ferrari for their 18th birthday. Help my parents retire in Bahamas. I mean these things go beyond just money.

You will make mistakes along the way, that's just part of life. I don't know your age but based on what you said I guess you're under 30. Man just do something, some opportunities will never come back so make sure to get them.

 

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[JackWhite]

MJ's most recent book TGRRE gave me a new perspective on this. In the story he wrote, a couple already have one child and the wife is pregnant with a second. Most people would use their children as an excuse to 'play it safe', but in MJ's story they keep on planning their own business, even while the wife is pregnant.
It's easy to use your kids as an excuse, so why not flip the normal script? Use your (future) kids as excuse to be a great example to them, and make lots of money so your kids are well-provided for and you can spend more time with them.

Very motivating. Thank you. I don’t know what it is connected with, but sometimes it’s really scary, and not for myself, but for the children. I want to be that “ideal” parent, and because of fear it’s even hard to think about trying. I think it will pass, but I'm glad that so many people have something to say about this, it's really important to me.

 

[JackWhite]

Here's another angle. Good parents are mature and responsible. Which is more responsible?
The Slow Lane involves going to a 9-5 job, taking orders and being provided for all the way. At work you're shielded from a lot of the uncertainty in the market (until you're aren't) and you're told in advance how much money you'll make each month. When you finally retire, the government will take care of you (except they probably won't). A lot of the appeal of the Slow Lane is that someone else takes care of you. It's much like a prolonged childhood.
The Fast Lane forces you to confront the full uncertainty that life has to offer and take more responsibility for yourself. You have to find your own answers, and make your own money. Surely the 'ideal parent' would choose the Fast Lane and teach their kids to do the same.

Thank you very much! I really think that the fast lane is the best, now I will apply it in my life.

 

[Raoul Duke]

Terrified, mortified, petrified... stupefied by you!

 

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[jwest95]

Recently, I started to think about the fact that I want my own family (wife, children, and so on), but the problem is that I am afraid of not coping, making a mistake that will affect not only my life, but also the life of my wife and children. Have you ever had this happen? How did you deal with it?

Failure is inevitable and necessary, as far as I'm concerned. However I will admit it does make it riskier when you have more commitments. I'm quite fortunate that I currently don't and am able to take more risk because of that. Doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue Fastlane dreams though

 

[Andy Black]

“If you don’t figure it out you leave it up to your kids to.”
(Craig Desorcey)

I believe Craig has a book on Amazon called “Starve Your Fear”.

 

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[JackWhite]

Love your mindset! Thanks for the response, I really appreciate your story and thoughts!

I was bullied. It created a victim mindset that stuck with me all the way from 1997 'till around 2014. I used to go around putting my life story on forums and facebook groups and then feeling good receiving all the nice nice hug hug advice and never actually do anything about it. It's only when someone with the real kindness to tell me what's really up whilst "looking like a prick" snapped me out of that victim mindset funk and managed to actually start changing my life. Tough love it's called and it works. The world we live in now is a soft comfortable one despite tragedies being inflicted on others. It creates the ultimate victims; hard life early on, and a soft, reassuring, victim promoting life after. That does no one any good.

IF you have a problem, you need to face it directly and conquer it. Aka "stop being a pussy". Perfect advice for this situation.

"Aww poor you have a cuddle" is just saying to their victim mindset oriented ego "what you are doing now is giving you attention, keep doing it" and so they will forever stay in their current rut.