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A message to a friend who's overwhelmed and worried

Anything related to matters of the mind

Andy Black

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There's a few threads in here of people getting overwhelmed and worried.

I recorded a private message a little while back to a friend in response to his hair-raising story here. He's ok me sharing it. Maybe it will help?

What's your takeaways and thoughts? What will you do different from today?

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs
 
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Nicoknowsbest

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@Andy Black it was this message that kept me sane, really. I remember that on this day, I was about to throw it all out of the window, when I sat down to watch your message.

It made all the difference.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I will never forget this.
 

NMdad

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There's a few threads in here of people getting overwhelmed and worried.

I recorded a private message a little while back to a friend in response to his hair-raising story here. He's ok me sharing it. Maybe it will help?

What's your takeaways and thoughts? What will you do different from today?

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs
Hey, Andy, thanks for sharing this. You might think you're rambling, but I could totally identify with it--juggling like 15 client projects plus side projects plus personal/family stuff, working late & getting up early, ACK!

So, yeah, I'm going to go for a walk after I finish my last client call this afternoon.

Gotta change the channel on my brain--or at least put it on mute for a bit.
 

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There's a few threads in here of people getting overwhelmed and worried.

I recorded a private message a little while back to a friend in response to his hair-raising story here. He's ok me sharing it. Maybe it will help?

What's your takeaways and thoughts? What will you do different from today?

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs

My takeaway from this is.

1. @Andy Black your an amazing human being, I've known that for a while .

2. You can definitely get into the groove of taking to much action like a crazy person and you just go around aimlessly after a while and feel like your brain is cooked completely.

I've taken a bit of a break the last week from business stuff to focus on health issues I am resolving. playing some games, catching up with friends, working on myself in other areas that need improvement in regards to self development not just business self development stuff.

What I will do different is to slow down a little bit more to gain clarity, to make sure the moves I make are well thought out so, when action is taken it is the better actions.
 
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Andy Black

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My takeaway from this is.

1. @Andy Black your an amazing human being, I've known that for a while .

2. You can definitely get into the groove of taking to much action like a crazy person and you just go around aimlessly after a while and feel like your brain is cooked completely.

I've taken a bit of a break the last week from business stuff to focus on health issues I am resolving. playing some games, catching up with friends, working on myself in other areas that need improvement in regards to self development not just business self development stuff.

What I will do different is to slow down a little bit more to gain clarity, to make sure the moves I make are well thought out so, when action is taken it is the better actions.
Ha. Thanks. Nothing amazing really. I’m just articulating what a lot of us are thinking.

The part I might have figured out is how to prioritise helping someone and not “making a great video”.


A few of my favourite lines spring to mind after reading that you also realise you can do too much:

“The market doesn’t pay for activity.” (Blaise Brosnan)

“You can go slower than you think.”

“We just have to stay in it to win it.”
 

Tullygetsfree

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I'm so moved, Andy.

I'm not in that same exact situation, but I can surely relate.
I've been very close to burn out this year, and I quit my job. Even if I found a new one and it got better, life decided that I shouldn't relax yet. I had to look after my mom and see her die, it's honestly too much to handle at the moment.

But today you reminded me that in life there are good people, good things, and good times.

Thanks!
 

Almantas

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If I still had rep points, I would transfer them all and take a 35 year additional credit loan and transfer them also, lol.
 
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Andy Black

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I'm so moved, Andy.

I'm not in that same exact situation, but I can surely relate.
I've been very close to burn out this year, and I quit my job. Even if I found a new one and it got better, life decided that I shouldn't relax yet. I had to look after my mom and see her die, it's honestly too much to handle at the moment.

But today you reminded me that in life there are good people, good things, and good times.

Thanks!
Oh dear. That’s so so tough. I can relate, as I’m sure many can. <Hugs.>

That’s what happened with my dad, except I was in another country and could only fly back ever few weeks as he deteriorated. I was torn between my wife and kids in Ireland and my dying dad and distraught mum in England. Now I’m flying back and forth to see my mum while she adjusts to losing her husband and one of her sons within 3 short years.

The onus is on me to increase my earnings so I can get a place in Ireland for her to come visit and maybe stay. That’s a powerful why, but I won’t make it happen if I keel over.

And I've to do this all while trying to mind our 3 sons, help out my stepson, manage 30 clients, have almost daily calls it seems, try to get my head round YouTube so I can sell my course more, do Maths grinds/lessons for nieces and nephews, empty and then rent my mum’s house, arrange for carers for my mum, do my tax returns in two countries, etc, etc.

And keep a marriage together.

I have to remember to sleep, move (exercise), and breathe...
 

Andy Black

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If I still had rep points, I would transfer them all and take a 35 year additional credit loan and transfer them also, lol.
Dayum. No need for a loan! Just buy me a coffee the next time you’re near my neck of the woods. : )
 

Tullygetsfree

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Oh dear. That’s so so tough. I can relate, as I’m sure many can. <Hugs.>

That’s what happened with my dad, except I was in another country and could only fly back ever few weeks as he deteriorated. I was torn between my wife and kids in Ireland and my dying dad and distraught mum in England. Now I’m flying back and forth to see my mum while she adjusts to losing her husband and one of her sons within 3 short years.

The onus is on me to increase my earnings so I can get a place in Ireland for her to come visit and maybe stay. That’s a powerful why, but I won’t make it happen if I keel over.

All while trying to mind our 3 sons, help out my stepson, manage 30 clients, have almost daily calls it seems, try to get my head round YouTube so I can sell my course more, do Maths grinds/lessons for nieces and nephews, empty and then rent my mum’s house, arrange for carers for my mum, do my tax returns in two countries, etc, etc.

And keep a marriage together.

I have to remember to sleep, move, and breathe...

I'm truly sorry for your dad and brother! Sending you, your wife&kids and your mother all the hugs from Italy.

My therapist once told me that I'm no Wonder Woman, and many of my worries went away just with that. You're doing great - you're giving it your all to make everything work.

When I feel too overwhelmed and tired, I listen to a Korean song, Breathe by Lee Hi. It helps me relieve a lot of pain. You will find the translation on the video!
 
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Nicoknowsbest

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2. You can definitely get into the groove of taking to much action like a crazy person and you just go around aimlessly after a while and feel like your brain is cooked completely.

I learned this the hard way. It's like going for a dive without a plan and when your oxygen is up, you rush to the surface to gulp for air only to realize that you landed in some cave with little fresh air.

I now make sure to divide my journey into milestones. Yes, it is a marathon. But you cannot break tackles at marathon pace, like @Andy Black taught us.

My goal is to get into a continuous cycle of crushing one problem at a time and then taking a step back to re-evaluate my situation.


“The market doesn’t pay for activity.” (Blaise Brosnan)

“You can go slower than you think.”

“We just have to stay in it to win it.”

So much wisdom in so few words.

The third one was my lesson of this week. If you withdraw from the game, you won't win. Only because you haven't hit 5 figures/month consecutively, doesn't mean you are a bad entrepreneur. No reason to quit.


I'm so moved, Andy.

I'm not in that same exact situation, but I can surely relate.
I've been very close to burn out this year, and I quit my job. Even if I found a new one and it got better, life decided that I shouldn't relax yet. I had to look after my mom and see her die, it's honestly too much to handle at the moment.

But today you reminded me that in life there are good people, good things, and good times.

Thanks!

I am really sorry to hear this, I hope you are doing as okay as you can be in such as situation. Much strength to you!


Oh dear. That’s so so tough. I can relate, as I’m sure many can. <Hugs.>

That’s what happened with my dad, except I was in another country and could only fly back ever few weeks as he deteriorated. I was torn between my wife and kids in Ireland and my dying dad and distraught mum in England. Now I’m flying back and forth to see my mum while she adjusts to losing her husband and one of her sons within 3 short years.

The onus is on me to increase my earnings so I can get a place in Ireland for her to come visit and maybe stay. That’s a powerful why, but I won’t make it happen if I keel over.

All while trying to mind our 3 sons, help out my stepson, manage 30 clients, have almost daily calls it seems, try to get my head round YouTube so I can sell my course more, do Maths grinds/lessons for nieces and nephews, empty and then rent my mum’s house, arrange for carers for my mum, do my tax returns in two countries, etc, etc.

And keep a marriage together.

I have to remember to sleep, move, and breathe...

You are a role model for all of us.

I am truly thankful to be able to learn from you.
 

Almantas

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Dayum. No need for a loan! Just buy me a coffee the next time you’re near my neck of the woods. : )

It'll be sometime next month for sure. Will keep you updated to make sure you are available! I have been looking forward to our meeting for a long time.
 

WJK

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Oh dear. That’s so so tough. I can relate, as I’m sure many can. <Hugs.>

That’s what happened with my dad, except I was in another country and could only fly back ever few weeks as he deteriorated. I was torn between my wife and kids in Ireland and my dying dad and distraught mum in England. Now I’m flying back and forth to see my mum while she adjusts to losing her husband and one of her sons within 3 short years.

The onus is on me to increase my earnings so I can get a place in Ireland for her to come visit and maybe stay. That’s a powerful why, but I won’t make it happen if I keel over.

And I've to do this all while trying to mind our 3 sons, help out my stepson, manage 30 clients, have almost daily calls it seems, try to get my head round YouTube so I can sell my course more, do Maths grinds/lessons for nieces and nephews, empty and then rent my mum’s house, arrange for carers for my mum, do my tax returns in two countries, etc, etc.

And keep a marriage together.

I have to remember to sleep, move (exercise), and breathe...
Andy, hang in there. We've all been there at one time or another. Just remember, that this too shall pass...
 
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This is so kind of you Andy. It really warms my heart.

I love the "having a virtual cup of coffee" thing in the intro :rofl:

We should host a fastlane tea party on Zoom.
 

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There's a few threads in here of people getting overwhelmed and worried.

I recorded a private message a little while back to a friend in response to his hair-raising story here. He's ok me sharing it. Maybe it will help?

What's your takeaways and thoughts? What will you do different from today?

View: https://youtu.be/i8ejPEDfBjs
So what became of Nico? He hasn’t been here since October 2021.
 

Andy Black

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So what became of Nico? He hasn’t been here since October 2021.
I've not heard from him in a while. Last we messaged he was working in an agency. I've pinged him to see how he's doing.
 
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Andy Black

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Bump.

Going for walks is under-rated. Let your monkey brain chatter away till it feels it's been heard and is at peace. Come back all zen.
 

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As someone who has gone through a lot during this last half of the year, here are my takeaways from this video:

1. Slowdown, a lot of times when life events or obstacles that you encounter that either self-created or not. You will rush to find quick solutions or answers to the problems you are facing. If someone is laid off for example, don't immediately start applying for jobs the next day. Take a break a week or two to clear your head and process the event that has happened. Your mind will go stir crazy, trying to find answer, emotions will rise, anger/hatred could take over. Depending on the obstacle that is front from you and with you being overwhelmed you will not think clearly. Slowing down allows you to think clearly on finding the answer that you seek.

2. Find peace with being by yourself and not stretching yourself or your attention onto the people around you when you have lost yourself. As Andy describes in the video, your attention may have onto other people and not yourself for awhile, thus when this happens you tend to forget who you once where. You eventually move away from your authenticate self to a self that is seeking validation from others when it is not needed. No one should seek validation from another person just for the sake of attention usually this is from an effect of a bad childhood when the parents or even siblings did not pay enough attention to or love you. Instead love yourself, validation yourself, and stretch your comfortzone by believing in yourself that you can do things by doing the work and seeing results. In short finding a way back home to you and what you loved to do. Who you once where and not trying to be somebody else to fit in with the crowd or the herd.

3. Change up your routine: Week after week if you notice yourself doing the samething on repeat. Stop yourself for a second and ask yourself if what your doing is moving the needle. Sometimes you will have to analyze or examine the actions you are taking to know whether or not you are properly moving the needle in the right direction.

4. Enjoy life and the Process, we as humans get to caught up in our daily lives that tend to forget or forsake the small things. Nature was given to us by a higher power. When life gets busy or too busy that you lose focus and on repeat. A nice walk in the park or a small vacation without anybody around and no technology can help you bring yourself back to the self and bring you a sense of calmness and peace. Being present in the moment as one would say. Just enjoying the day where you are right now. Not thinking about where you want to be or where you need to go and trying to rush the process to get there. We are here, in the now, present everyday in every second, in every hour or day. Your life could stop at this very moment and you will cease to exist. The mind creates futuristic problems that don't need to be worried about right now. All that matters is you feel a sense of presence of where you are right now. Sometimes just taking a step back every once in awhile can bring you clarity.

Your life is a journey, not a sprint. Always practice gratitude and now that every obstacle is there to teach you a lesson.
 

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ZackerySprague

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Words from the great admin of this forum to when it comes fo your family and Friends.

"I can't choose my blood family, but I can choose who I spend my time with and who I love."

Once you find your trueself, find people who will love you for you even if their not by blood.
 
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