MJ DeMarco
I followed the science; all I found was money.
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A few weeks ago I read @Vigilante 's upcoming book and gave him a list of editorial suggestions. He thought it would be a good idea for me to post those suggestions here for all the writers as he found them incredibly valuable.
Keep in mind that this is for published non-fiction (not ad hoc writing here), but some of it could be relevant to works of fiction as well.
Here are those suggestions.
1) CREATE A FRAMEWORK EARLY FOR YOUR BOOK WHICH SERVES AS LOGIC FLOW
Frame the work against something visual, a roadmap, that the reader can follow. Perhaps a flow chart or something presented in the beginning, and as you move through it, it represents the flow and guideline for the reader.
In TMF , my framework consisted of the 3 roadmaps; Sidewalk, Slowlane, and Fastlane.
2) GIVE YOUR CONCEPTS A NAME
Label your concepts uniquely to you so that if your book becomes big, those concepts become synonymous with you. Despite my name being ripped and copied, anytime someone says "Fastlane" as it relates to entrepreneurship, they know they are talking about my concept. Likewise, when someone says "Slowlaner!" or "Sidewalker!" we all know what they are talking about.
3) EDITING: LESS IS MORE
One thing I learned in my studies of publishing is that LESS is MORE. In other words, your objective with every single sentence is to make it the strongest it can be. This is how that is done:
For example, take these two sentences. The first is unedited and a winded, foggy way to say it, the second is edited and a better way.
Another example:
4) REPLACE PASSIVE VERBS WITH ACTION VERBS
5) STICK TO ONE THOUGHT PER SENTENCE, IF TWO EXIST, MAKE IT SHORT/CLEAR AS POSSIBLE.
6) AVOID BFF CLINGERS: REPETITION OF YOUR FAVORITE PET WORDS
For example, I noticed "literally" and "germinate" used far too often, sometimes in consecutive paragraphs.
7) MINIMIZE FLUFFY PHRASES
A lot of phrases in your prose can be knocked out with one word. Also, unnecessary adjectives or redundancies should be removed.
8) TITLING YOUR BOOK
And finally, the more eyeballs that critique your book, the better it will become. Leverage several readers/editors before putting out anything. Were they confused on something? What didn't they like? Would they recommend it to a friend, and if not, why?
Hope you find these helpful.
Good luck!
~ MJ
Keep in mind that this is for published non-fiction (not ad hoc writing here), but some of it could be relevant to works of fiction as well.
Here are those suggestions.
1) CREATE A FRAMEWORK EARLY FOR YOUR BOOK WHICH SERVES AS LOGIC FLOW
Frame the work against something visual, a roadmap, that the reader can follow. Perhaps a flow chart or something presented in the beginning, and as you move through it, it represents the flow and guideline for the reader.
In TMF , my framework consisted of the 3 roadmaps; Sidewalk, Slowlane, and Fastlane.
2) GIVE YOUR CONCEPTS A NAME
Label your concepts uniquely to you so that if your book becomes big, those concepts become synonymous with you. Despite my name being ripped and copied, anytime someone says "Fastlane" as it relates to entrepreneurship, they know they are talking about my concept. Likewise, when someone says "Slowlaner!" or "Sidewalker!" we all know what they are talking about.
3) EDITING: LESS IS MORE
One thing I learned in my studies of publishing is that LESS is MORE. In other words, your objective with every single sentence is to make it the strongest it can be. This is how that is done:
- The best sentence is the sentence that conveys your thoughts in the least amount of words.
- Minimize use of adverbs, “very, literally, some, etc.” as these weaken the concepts. For me, this is something I’ve always struggled with but in the end, it is what constitutes good writing.
- Think that every word you add to a sentence costs you $100. Every word removed saves you $100.
For example, take these two sentences. The first is unedited and a winded, foggy way to say it, the second is edited and a better way.
UNEDITED
Treating employees like they had an interest in the financial gain of the business when they didn't resulted in an extremely high SGA (selling and general administrative costs – every cost that goes into the business, excluding your product margins), a sense of entitlement, and absolutely zero quantifiable increase in employee loyalty or productivity.
EDITED
Treating employees like they had a financial interest in the business resulted in a sense of entitlement and a high selling/general administrative cost (SGA, costs excluding product margins) and resulted in zero benefits to employee loyalty or productivity.
Treating employees like they had an interest in the financial gain of the business when they didn't resulted in an extremely high SGA (selling and general administrative costs – every cost that goes into the business, excluding your product margins), a sense of entitlement, and absolutely zero quantifiable increase in employee loyalty or productivity.
EDITED
Treating employees like they had a financial interest in the business resulted in a sense of entitlement and a high selling/general administrative cost (SGA, costs excluding product margins) and resulted in zero benefits to employee loyalty or productivity.
Another example:
UNEDITED
I am now set to be as effective from this public computer I am on in Laguna Beach as I am can be in Phoenix.
EDITED
I am as effective on this public computer in Laguna as I am in Phoenix.
I am now set to be as effective from this public computer I am on in Laguna Beach as I am can be in Phoenix.
EDITED
I am as effective on this public computer in Laguna as I am in Phoenix.
4) REPLACE PASSIVE VERBS WITH ACTION VERBS
Switch passive blah verbs to active, stronger verbs that incite a greater visual impact.
"I make money while I sleep" WINS over "I am making money while I sleep."
"While I watched fountains dance WINS over "While I was watching fountains dance...
"People ordered my products" WINS over "People were ordering my products..."
Things shipped WINS over Things were shipping...
UPS delivered WINS over UPS were delivering
"I make money while I sleep" WINS over "I am making money while I sleep."
"While I watched fountains dance WINS over "While I was watching fountains dance...
"People ordered my products" WINS over "People were ordering my products..."
Things shipped WINS over Things were shipping...
UPS delivered WINS over UPS were delivering
5) STICK TO ONE THOUGHT PER SENTENCE, IF TWO EXIST, MAKE IT SHORT/CLEAR AS POSSIBLE.
UNEDITED
Continuing to work at my day job allowed me to take 100% of the proceeds from my brand-new business and reinvest it straight back into the business, and create the snowball rolling down a hill and getting bigger as it rolls effect.
EDITED
Continued employment at my day job allowed me to regularly reinvest in my business creating a powerful snowball effect.
Continuing to work at my day job allowed me to take 100% of the proceeds from my brand-new business and reinvest it straight back into the business, and create the snowball rolling down a hill and getting bigger as it rolls effect.
EDITED
Continued employment at my day job allowed me to regularly reinvest in my business creating a powerful snowball effect.
Or:
Your continued employment creates a powerful snowball effect, allowing regular 100% reinvestment into your growing business.
Your continued employment creates a powerful snowball effect, allowing regular 100% reinvestment into your growing business.
6) AVOID BFF CLINGERS: REPETITION OF YOUR FAVORITE PET WORDS
For example, I noticed "literally" and "germinate" used far too often, sometimes in consecutive paragraphs.
7) MINIMIZE FLUFFY PHRASES
A lot of phrases in your prose can be knocked out with one word. Also, unnecessary adjectives or redundancies should be removed.
EXAMPLE 1: UNEDITED
When I am advising people about their business startups, I advise them not to follow fifteen wild ideas they have at the same time.
EDITED
When I advise people about startups, I tell them don't follow fifteen wild ideas simultaneously.
REDUNDANCIES
"business startups" (what other kind of startup is there? Delete business.)
RAID: "kills bugs dead" (what other kind of 'kill' is there??)
EXAMPLE 2: UNEDITED
It is most definitely not easy.
EDITED
It's not easy.
When I am advising people about their business startups, I advise them not to follow fifteen wild ideas they have at the same time.
EDITED
When I advise people about startups, I tell them don't follow fifteen wild ideas simultaneously.
REDUNDANCIES
"business startups" (what other kind of startup is there? Delete business.)
RAID: "kills bugs dead" (what other kind of 'kill' is there??)
EXAMPLE 2: UNEDITED
It is most definitely not easy.
EDITED
It's not easy.
EXAMPLE 3: UNEDITED
When you write a business plan, you should plan to be cognizant of all your strength and weaknesses.
EDITED:
Your business plan should consider both your strength and weaknesses.
OR
When writing your business plan, consider your strengths and weaknesses.
When you write a business plan, you should plan to be cognizant of all your strength and weaknesses.
EDITED:
Your business plan should consider both your strength and weaknesses.
OR
When writing your business plan, consider your strengths and weaknesses.
8) TITLING YOUR BOOK
Your book's main title and subtitle should clearly indicate that content that will be contained in the work. Is your book about sales? Money? Meditation? Your title combination should give both genre clues as well as benefit cues.
Optimally, your subtitle will be benefit oriented. For example, since TMF is somewhat vague, my subtitle clarifies the content: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime. It's clear to the reader that the book is about money.
9) YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH EDITORS, BETA-READERS, EYE-BALLSOptimally, your subtitle will be benefit oriented. For example, since TMF is somewhat vague, my subtitle clarifies the content: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime. It's clear to the reader that the book is about money.
And finally, the more eyeballs that critique your book, the better it will become. Leverage several readers/editors before putting out anything. Were they confused on something? What didn't they like? Would they recommend it to a friend, and if not, why?
Good luck!
~ MJ
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