1,986 words on happiness, clarity, speed, introversion, attachment and confidence

[Lucky Lu]

Wow this thread is awesome. The initial post is dynamite, seems aimed right at you when you read it. Thank you

 

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[csalvato]

Curious question: what was your motivation to write this post? What sparked you to put this into words?

 

[Tourmaline]

What else should we chase?

(insert answer)

Why?

(insert answer)

Why?

etc..

etc..

"Happiness"

I understand and acknowledge and commend you from coming from a good place. You speak out of nobleness, from a loving and caring place. In your posts in general, you carry this same spirit.

To answer your question however, Happiness need not be chased. It is always waiting for you to embrace it without requiring you to achieve anything. Just like the air waits for you to breathe it in. Sounds ridiculous I know. But it is true nonetheless.

What to be chased?

There are many things to 'chase'. If you insist on using that term.

1. The end of poverty
2. Energy abundance
3. Cheap and accessible space flight
4. Democratization of media
5. The end of tyrannical and oppressive regimes

Need I go on?

You dance around a very important topic of 'knowing yourself'. It is where I find your words to ring the most true, and the product that is created by one knowing themselves.

You speak not only of happiness, but also of pride. Notice both of these things are extremely self focused. And it is not that they do not matter, or should not be attained, but rather they are hardly the end goal.

Happiness and pride are minor things along the way.

Along the way to what of course?

However much do I love @MJ DeMarco's Commandment of Need! Why? Because it is entirely focused on not-yourself. It is entirely focused on what others require for a better and more prosperous humanity.

Which is what ought to be chased, if you require me to tell you what should or should not be done. The betterment of humanity, of life.

But here is where I return to what you danced around about. The way in which you better humanity ideally revolves around things that stem from you knowing yourself. And as you said, one of the primary ways of discovering yourself is to try and try and try many different things and simply see how they play out for you!




-

The funny thing about chasing things is that as long as you chase whatever it is you chase you will never truly achieve it. If you chase happiness, you may catch for a moment at a time, but like trying to catch the wind it can hardly stay in your palms for more than a few moments at a time.

If you try and chase joy then you will find the same. Bursts of enough pleasure and good feelings to cross the threshold so defined to be joy before emotions return towards their neutral state and joy once again leaves.

You do hit on another good thought too, the value of being alone. That is quite important and key into figuring out who you are, and what you ought to be doing according to yourself. Too many cannot stand being alone, and those same people are the ones that often will benefit the most from being alone.

One last thing. Happiness can come from merely existing. And since that is always a fact while you are alive, once someone understand how to allow themselves to be happy for existing, then happiness no longer becomes something to chase, and one's focus can move on to grander less self focused things.

 

[JacobNZ]

All that matters in life is that we are happy with it. After all, who did we build big businesses, amass fortunes, and live so extravagantly for in the first place? If it was for others, our own happiness was never pursued. If we happen to be content, it is only out of circumstance and not out of intent. Instead, our joy is what we must chase.

Primarily, we must know ourselves, and at a depth that no one can attempt to rival from the outside looking in. As an added side effect of knowing ourselves so intimately, we can easily ignore the opinions of others, which is necessary in being truly creative and living freely.

In knowing ourselves, we can understand what makes us happy. To start to understand ourselves, we must have experience. We must taste different things in life to see what is favorable and unfavorable. With an open mind, it becomes easy to learn about yourself rather quickly. Speed is important, because time is the only thing that we cannot get more of.

What makes us happy, as well as knowing a whole mess of other things about ourselves, will allow us to pursue it with clarity. Clarity is what most people lack. Most people are living in the middle; neither 100 or 0. In the middle, without clarity, is where most people rot away until their time is finished and there is nothing to show for their existence on this earth. They dip their toes in a little bit of everything except for excellence, and then it’s time to die.

People ask me for advice for growing their business, and I wonder if the answer they are looking for is the answer I should give. I know how you should grow your business, but do you know yourself? Do you have clarity? Have you tasted enough life to know what you like? Are you chasing happiness, or an extra $20,000 a year so you can afford a nicer boat than your neighbor? I can’t help but think even the best and most detailed advice is quite pointless because it is likely falling on the ears of someone who isn’t ready, or is chasing the wrong things, or has no idea about who they are deep down. It isn’t my place to assume, so I give the advice anyways, even if I think the most realistic best-case scenario is you turning out to become a wealthy businessman who realizes he still missed out on really living.

Usually, when questioned about taking one path vs another, I tend to prefer a path that takes less time, expecting to take many other paths eventually for the sake of speed and experience. I think that life is long enough to make mistakes over and over again if we only prioritize the principles of making quick decisions, taking risks, adjusting constantly, and avoiding things that hinder freedom such as major debt commitments, going to jail, and marriage/children. I recommend moving from that boring city, quitting that boring job, starting that business, asking out that girl, and taking one leap of faith after another, all well before you think you’re ready. It probably will not work out, and that is just fine. I see success as the internal choice of how you made your decision, not if the decision turned out “good” or not. (Did you trust your gut? Did you make your decision based on fear or passion? Etc…)

We can only know looking backwards, and we must go forwards before we get the luxury of hindsight. I am not more intelligent than others, I just say “yes” a whole lot more, and become blessed with hindsight and clarity at a faster rate than others. I move faster because I am just not afraid of the consequences. All because there are none. First of all, no one is thinking about me in the first place. Everyone is too focused on themselves to care. Second of all, you’re gonna die, just like me and everyone else who ever lived. Everything will become dust and I don’t have the slightest worry of any of my mistakes lasting all that long. This gives me the stomach to do things that would keep other people up at night paralyzed in fear while I don’t have a moment of hesitation. It allows me to be in a peaceful and zen-like state. This is the only way of managing chaos, the chaos that comes with taking risks and growing businesses. I’ve found that other people worry more about me than I do about myself.

I have a highly sensitive distaste for anything that takes away my freedom to choose and therefore taste new things and learn more about myself. You could not pay me any reasonable amount of money to get married, join the military, give up x number of years from my life, stay in a job for too long, buy a home that requires me to stay in it and make payments for years, etc. But I would very quickly decide to enjoy a relationship, risk my life fighting abroad, take other possibly life-ending risks, try out even the most unenjoyable jobs, pay a high amount for rent, etc. The difference is that the first set of options reduces my ability to choose and learn about myself after a period of time, and the second set of options allows for me to try new things, learn and move on. And to me, that is the biggest priority.

Another way I like to gain clarity is to be alone. The next moment you spend time with someone, you will notice that it is difficult to have deep and introspective thoughts. It is similar to how a powerpoint presentation is either in “edit” mode, or in “present” mode. Around others, your brain is preoccupied with the focus of how you are presenting yourself in that moment, and it is more difficult to think with any real depth. To edit the website or the presentation, we must take it “down”. We must do the same for ourselves and spend enough time alone for our brain to use all of its power and focus on finding clarity in our lives. But without enough stimulus, our brain can lose its edge. We need to be alone, but we also need stimulus that comes from the world.

Another way our thoughts become shallow is from having too many things stealing our attention, as well as holding us hostage through attachment and ego. Not “social media” and our phones, but real things in our life such as hobbies, possessions, commitments, etc. It is said that the things we own end up owning us. That is true. All things require maintenance, as the universe loses order through the law of entropy. This means we have to take care of these things and we assume responsibility to keep them from deteriorating. The things we collect, as well as the people, hobbies and commitments we collect and associate as part of “who we are”, all end up becoming attachments that steal away space in our brain in order to maintain. I pay a little more for rent to live on a lake, but I live in a small place. I do not own many things. I go out with people to have fun but have very little attachment to anyone or anything. I am not my things. I am not my friends. I feel free enough to pick up and move anywhere. I feel free enough to throw away every single thing I have ever owned, leave every single person I have ever met, and give up every single thing I have ever done if I feel it is necessary for something greater. A human being needs food, water and shelter. How many things have you assumed as a “need”? This doesn’t mean we should live in poverty, but it means we should live without attachment so we can live simply when necessary. I am willing to be homeless if it came to it. I can promise you I would still be whistling and smiling every day. My happiness comes from my clarity. I would still tell you to your face without a doubt in my mind that I was meant for great things. And you can never take my clarity away from me. My happiness is inside of myself. I own it, more than I could ever possibly own anything else. It is not in another person and not in any physical thing. These are only leased for a period of time. Our things can be stolen. Another person can leave us at any time. We can enjoy these things, but my happiness is my own. It is in my own head.

When we can think at this depth, and understand ourselves clearly, we give less and less weight to the opinions of others, as I mentioned in my second paragraph. This is essential. I know you do not understand yourself. You have not considered things the way that I have. Your understanding is a circle, and my understanding is a circle that encompasses it. I know where you are coming from. I used to think that way myself, so I know the reasons you say the things you do. I’ve already heard them before. I know you stay up at night wondering if you matter.

This will cause you to see people for what they really are, just kids pretending to be grown-ups. Everyone is pretending. People are scared, anxious, dressing up and acting out roles and playing their best “adult” in a world that makes no sense to them. The words that come out of their mouth came from somewhere else, and the lives they are living are all a mixture of the lives of the people around them and the things from the world that they consume from others. These are the 99%. They echo some of the worst advice you could possibly imagine. I cannot stress enough the importance of having the audacity to ignore it.

Like in the second paragraph I wrote, to know ourselves deeply is necessary to be truly creative and live freely. To create anything is audacious. To say “This thing I am creating is something no one else has done in the thousands of years of human existence. It is something that is missing from this world and I am the one who should create it. And even though other people say negative things, it is still worth creating”. This is insane. Any self-belief whatsoever is completely audacious and arrogant, but it is the only way anything worthwhile is ever created. And the negative things and standard advice we hear aren’t told to us only rarely, but by 99% of the people in our society. It is enough to make even relatively confident individuals question themselves. This is why it is imperative to be confident beyond reason; to see 100 reasons to have doubts, 0 reasons to have faith, and still be bold enough to try with 100% conviction. Not just to check a box and say “I took a chance”, but to do so with everything we have. This is why only the insane people in our society can ever create something unique. This is why people who go against society by believing in themselves are people I admire more than anyone else. This is why I am proud of myself. This is what so much of my happiness comes from as well: knowing that I am insane enough to believe in myself when no one else does, and having seen results come to fruition out of that seed of self-belief that grew from the symbolic concrete of a world that says I am wrong. That is why I am proud of myself when I look in the mirror.

This is very powerful ! Thank you Johnny. Call BS, but you've put my exact thoughts on paper better than I ever could have.

 

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[kingkiran]

An absolute masterclass by @Johnny boy . Created an account just to reply to this. You put into words what I was already subconsciously thinking but could not put the words to

All that matters in life is that we are happy with it. After all, who did we build big businesses, amass fortunes, and live so extravagantly for in the first place? If it was for others, our own happiness was never pursued. If we happen to be content, it is only out of circumstance and not out of intent. Instead, our joy is what we must chase.

Absolutely true !! Wanting a million dollars, hot women are all fine. But if it is to "impress" others and not coming from your inner desires, then it makes no sense. We are quitting one rat race to enter another one

Primarily, we must know ourselves, and at a depth that no one can attempt to rival from the outside looking in. As an added side effect of knowing ourselves so intimately, we can easily ignore the opinions of others, which is necessary in being truly creative and living freely.

This is true freedom

In knowing ourselves, we can understand what makes us happy. To start to understand ourselves, we must have experience. We must taste different things in life to see what is favorable and unfavorable. With an open mind, it becomes easy to learn about yourself rather quickly. Speed is important, because time is the only thing that we cannot get more of.

Amen !

What makes us happy, as well as knowing a whole mess of other things about ourselves, will allow us to pursue it with clarity. Clarity is what most people lack. Most people are living in the middle; neither 100 or 0. In the middle, without clarity, is where most people rot away until their time is finished and there is nothing to show for their existence on this earth. They dip their toes in a little bit of everything except for excellence, and then it’s time to die.

Yes

People ask me for advice for growing their business, and I wonder if the answer they are looking for is the answer I should give. I know how you should grow your business, but do you know yourself? Do you have clarity? Have you tasted enough life to know what you like? Are you chasing happiness, or an extra $20,000 a year so you can afford a nicer boat than your neighbor? I can’t help but think even the best and most detailed advice is quite pointless because it is likely falling on the ears of someone who isn’t ready, or is chasing the wrong things, or has no idea about who they are deep down. It isn’t my place to assume, so I give the advice anyways, even if I think the most realistic best-case scenario is you turning out to become a wealthy businessman who realizes he still missed out on really living.

Rat race exists in entrepreneurship too

Usually, when questioned about taking one path vs another, I tend to prefer a path that takes less time, expecting to take many other paths eventually for the sake of speed and experience. I think that life is long enough to make mistakes over and over again if we only prioritize the principles of making quick decisions, taking risks, adjusting constantly, and avoiding things that hinder freedom such as major debt commitments, going to jail, and marriage/children. I recommend moving from that boring city, quitting that boring job, starting that business, asking out that girl, and taking one leap of faith after another, all well before you think you’re ready. It probably will not work out, and that is just fine. I see success as the internal choice of how you made your decision, not if the decision turned out “good” or not. (Did you trust your gut? Did you make your decision based on fear or passion? Etc…)

Yes !!!! Nobody can give me enough money to be tied up in some long term shit like marriage. I want to experience the variety that life has to offer

We can only know looking backwards, and we must go forwards before we get the luxury of hindsight. I am not more intelligent than others, I just say “yes” a whole lot more, and become blessed with hindsight and clarity at a faster rate than others. I move faster because I am just not afraid of the consequences. All because there are none. First of all, no one is thinking about me in the first place. Everyone is too focused on themselves to care. Second of all, you’re gonna die, just like me and everyone else who ever lived. Everything will become dust and I don’t have the slightest worry of any of my mistakes lasting all that long. This gives me the stomach to do things that would keep other people up at night paralyzed in fear while I don’t have a moment of hesitation. It allows me to be in a peaceful and zen-like state. This is the only way of managing chaos, the chaos that comes with taking risks and growing businesses. I’ve found that other people worry more about me than I do about myself.

Reminds me of the Steve Jobs quote - "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards."

I have a highly sensitive distaste for anything that takes away my freedom to choose and therefore taste new things and learn more about myself. You could not pay me any reasonable amount of money to get married, join the military, give up x number of years from my life, stay in a job for too long, buy a home that requires me to stay in it and make payments for years, etc. But I would very quickly decide to enjoy a relationship, risk my life fighting abroad, take other possibly life-ending risks, try out even the most unenjoyable jobs, pay a high amount for rent, etc. The difference is that the first set of options reduces my ability to choose and learn about myself after a period of time, and the second set of options allows for me to try new things, learn and move on. And to me, that is the biggest priority.

It is all about keeping the options open baby !!

Another way I like to gain clarity is to be alone. The next moment you spend time with someone, you will notice that it is difficult to have deep and introspective thoughts. It is similar to how a powerpoint presentation is either in “edit” mode, or in “present” mode. Around others, your brain is preoccupied with the focus of how you are presenting yourself in that moment, and it is more difficult to think with any real depth. To edit the website or the presentation, we must take it “down”. We must do the same for ourselves and spend enough time alone for our brain to use all of its power and focus on finding clarity in our lives. But without enough stimulus, our brain can lose its edge. We need to be alone, but we also need stimulus that comes from the world.

Interesting metaphor. I also tend to formulate strategies when I am alone. Also connecting dots becomes easier when you don't have distractions

Another way our thoughts become shallow is from having too many things stealing our attention, as well as holding us hostage through attachment and ego. Not “social media” and our phones, but real things in our life such as hobbies, possessions, commitments, etc. It is said that the things we own end up owning us. That is true. All things require maintenance, as the universe loses order through the law of entropy. This means we have to take care of these things and we assume responsibility to keep them from deteriorating. The things we collect, as well as the people, hobbies and commitments we collect and associate as part of “who we are”, all end up becoming attachments that steal away space in our brain in order to maintain. I pay a little more for rent to live on a lake, but I live in a small place. I do not own many things. I go out with people to have fun but have very little attachment to anyone or anything. I am not my things. I am not my friends. I feel free enough to pick up and move anywhere. I feel free enough to throw away every single thing I have ever owned, leave every single person I have ever met, and give up every single thing I have ever done if I feel it is necessary for something greater. A human being needs food, water and shelter. How many things have you assumed as a “need”? This doesn’t mean we should live in poverty, but it means we should live without attachment so we can live simply when necessary. I am willing to be homeless if it came to it. I can promise you I would still be whistling and smiling every day. My happiness comes from my clarity. I would still tell you to your face without a doubt in my mind that I was meant for great things. And you can never take my clarity away from me. My happiness is inside of myself. I own it, more than I could ever possibly own anything else. It is not in another person and not in any physical thing. These are only leased for a period of time. Our things can be stolen. Another person can leave us at any time. We can enjoy these things, but my happiness is my own. It is in my own head.

I love it ! I need to have the flexibility. Don't like to get tied up into one thing. Want to have a feeling like I can do something which I want to do and let's say I want to do something else after a while, I shouldn't feel obligated to continue what I am doing currently

When we can think at this depth, and understand ourselves clearly, we give less and less weight to the opinions of others, as I mentioned in my second paragraph. This is essential. I know you do not understand yourself. You have not considered things the way that I have. Your understanding is a circle, and my understanding is a circle that encompasses it. I know where you are coming from. I used to think that way myself, so I know the reasons you say the things you do. I’ve already heard them before. I know you stay up at night wondering if you matter.

This will cause you to see people for what they really are, just kids pretending to be grown-ups. Everyone is pretending. People are scared, anxious, dressing up and acting out roles and playing their best “adult” in a world that makes no sense to them. The words that come out of their mouth came from somewhere else, and the lives they are living are all a mixture of the lives of the people around them and the things from the world that they consume from others. These are the 99%. They echo some of the worst advice you could possibly imagine. I cannot stress enough the importance of having the audacity to ignore it.

Chutzpah - Number one trait of an entrepreneur

Like in the second paragraph I wrote, to know ourselves deeply is necessary to be truly creative and live freely. To create anything is audacious. To say “This thing I am creating is something no one else has done in the thousands of years of human existence. It is something that is missing from this world and I am the one who should create it. And even though other people say negative things, it is still worth creating”. This is insane. Any self-belief whatsoever is completely audacious and arrogant, but it is the only way anything worthwhile is ever created. And the negative things and standard advice we hear aren’t told to us only rarely, but by 99% of the people in our society. It is enough to make even relatively confident individuals question themselves. This is why it is imperative to be confident beyond reason; to see 100 reasons to have doubts, 0 reasons to have faith, and still be bold enough to try with 100% conviction. Not just to check a box and say “I took a chance”, but to do so with everything we have. This is why only the insane people in our society can ever create something unique. This is why people who go against society by believing in themselves are people I admire more than anyone else. This is why I am proud of myself. This is what so much of my happiness comes from as well: knowing that I am insane enough to believe in myself when no one else does, and having seen results come to fruition out of that seed of self-belief that grew from the symbolic concrete of a world that says I am wrong. That is why I am proud of myself when I look in the mirror.

Moving forward without being able to see the way forward ! Amen

Thanks for the post @Johnny boy

 

[kingkiran]

Friendly bump

I have a reminder to read this once a quarter ... Still good !

 

[Johnny boy]

Looking back at this makes me reflect and ask myself if I have changed, and if it was good or bad.

I think as my business has cemented and established itself in some ways, I have done a bit of the same to my own life.

I don't think I can say the same things that I did about myself, now that it's been a couple years.

Do I take as many risks? No. I've slowed down. I tricked myself into thinking that a high growth rate was growth. But it was a fixed growth rate.

Can I still drop anything and just move on a moments notice? Theoretically...but will I? Not realistically. And what use is theoretical options unless they can be practically exercised? I have time, I can travel often, I can have fun, but am I facing any new frontiers? Not nearly as much as before.

It's a never-ending cycle of getting down to business, then stopping to smell the flowers. It's like an island and the city. When you're busy in the city you just want to work to make it to the islands, but once you're on the island, you just want to get back to the city. It's a yin and yang. It's not futile, it's necessary. I am at a new level but at the same place that I was right before I started my business in the first place. It is time to embrace the same type of things that I experienced at the beginning of all of this. Uncertainty, risk, growth, asymmetric focus, mistakes...all of the stuff that was difficult but necessary, like saying yes when the future is still foggy, knowing that the mistakes will give me clarity in hindsight. It's more about how many revolutions we can make through these cycles of growth and taking a breath of fresh air. I should be making them in a year, rather than 5. At that rate I can live and accomplish 5 times as much as a lesser version of myself.

I think writing has been extremely helpful in making sure that my words and actions are aligned, and that makes it difficult to lie to myself. If we can write, and then meet ourselves through reading that writing in the future to compare, we have made a valuable friend.

I've realized that I need to feel butterflies in my stomach again, and to remember that all of this is a game, and I have less time than I think I do. I need to question every limiting belief with a microscope to determine if it is based off of prudence, or only fear and complacency. I would bet that nearly all of them are the latter.

 

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[BizyDad]

Looking back at this makes me reflect and ask myself if I have changed, and if it was good or bad.

I think as my business has cemented and established itself in some ways, I have done a bit of the same to my own life.

I don't think I can say the same things that I did about myself, now that it's been a couple years.

Do I take as many risks? No. I've slowed down. I tricked myself into thinking that a high growth rate was growth. But it was a fixed growth rate.

Can I still drop anything and just move on a moments notice? Theoretically...but will I? Not realistically. And what use is theoretical options unless they can be practically exercised? I have time, I can travel often, I can have fun, but am I facing any new frontiers? Not nearly as much as before.

It's a never-ending cycle of getting down to business, then stopping to smell the flowers. It's like an island and the city. When you're busy in the city you just want to work to make it to the islands, but once you're on the island, you just want to get back to the city. It's a yin and yang. It's not futile, it's necessary. I am at a new level but at the same place that I was right before I started my business in the first place. It is time to embrace the same type of things that I experienced at the beginning of all of this. Uncertainty, risk, growth, asymmetric focus, mistakes...all of the stuff that was difficult but necessary, like saying yes when the future is still foggy, knowing that the mistakes will give me clarity in hindsight. It's more about how many revolutions we can make through these cycles of growth and taking a breath of fresh air. I should be making them in a year, rather than 5. At that rate I can live and accomplish 5 times as much as a lesser version of myself.

I think writing has been extremely helpful in making sure that my words and actions are aligned, and that makes it difficult to lie to myself. If we can write, and then meet ourselves through reading that writing in the future to compare, we have made a valuable friend.

I've realized that I need to feel butterflies in my stomach again, and to remember that all of this is a game, and I have less time than I think I do. I need to question every limiting belief with a microscope to determine if it is based off of prudence, or only fear and complacency. I would bet that nearly all of them are the latter.

This is one of my favorite things I've read on the forum. There are several wisdom nuggets in there. Might as well call you Johnny not a boy any longer...

 

[Angler]

I think writing has been extremely helpful in making sure that my words and actions are aligned, and that makes it difficult to lie to myself. If we can write, and then meet ourselves through reading that writing in the future to compare, we have made a valuable friend.

I've realized that I need to feel butterflies in my stomach again, and to remember that all of this is a game, and I have less time than I think I do. I need to question every limiting belief with a microscope to determine if it is based off of prudence, or only fear and complacency. I would bet that nearly all of them are the latter.

You are one awesome dude Johnny. Can't tell how many times I've paid homage to your honest writing, specifically THIS thread

 

[ekateriv]

avoiding things that hinder freedom such as major debt commitments, going to jail, and marriage/children

I'd argue that if done correctly marriage/children add to your freedom, not subtract from it. I always cringed when people said that "if you don't have kids, you won't understand". Now that I do, I agree with that statement. Same with marriage. I had a lot of ideas that I'd borrowed from my parents' failed marriage about what being in one and having kids would entail. I was sure I was not about that life and didn't understand why anyone would be. Thankfully somebody changed my mind about this. The self-actualization that these relationships have brought about in me is the ultimate manifestation of freedom and human experience.

 

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[Johnny boy]

I'd argue that if done correctly marriage/children add to your freedom, not subtract from it. I always cringed when people said that "if you don't have kids, you won't understand". Now that I do, I agree with that statement. Same with marriage. I had a lot of ideas that I'd borrowed from my parents' failed marriage about what being in one and having kids would entail. I was sure I was not about that life and didn't understand why anyone would be. Thankfully somebody changed my mind about this. The self-actualization that these relationships have brought about in me is the ultimate manifestation of freedom and human experience.

I'm definitely going to have kids. The world needs to be more handsome.

Just not until I'm quite a bit older.

If you define freedom in a personal, completely subjective way like you have, yes I guess you're right. If you define freedom as what the obvious definition of freedom is...then it's 100% wrong.

 

[Myster kouadj]

All that matters in life is that we are happy with it. After all, who did we build big businesses, amass fortunes, and live so extravagantly for in the first place? If it was for others, our own happiness was never pursued. If we happen to be content, it is only out of circumstance and not out of intent. Instead, our joy is what we must chase.

Primarily, we must know ourselves, and at a depth that no one can attempt to rival from the outside looking in. As an added side effect of knowing ourselves so intimately, we can easily ignore the opinions of others, which is necessary in being truly creative and living freely.

In knowing ourselves, we can understand what makes us happy. To start to understand ourselves, we must have experience. We must taste different things in life to see what is favorable and unfavorable. With an open mind, it becomes easy to learn about yourself rather quickly. Speed is important, because time is the only thing that we cannot get more of.

What makes us happy, as well as knowing a whole mess of other things about ourselves, will allow us to pursue it with clarity. Clarity is what most people lack. Most people are living in the middle; neither 100 or 0. In the middle, without clarity, is where most people rot away until their time is finished and there is nothing to show for their existence on this earth. They dip their toes in a little bit of everything except for excellence, and then it’s time to die.

People ask me for advice for growing their business, and I wonder if the answer they are looking for is the answer I should give. I know how you should grow your business, but do you know yourself? Do you have clarity? Have you tasted enough life to know what you like? Are you chasing happiness, or an extra $20,000 a year so you can afford a nicer boat than your neighbor? I can’t help but think even the best and most detailed advice is quite pointless because it is likely falling on the ears of someone who isn’t ready, or is chasing the wrong things, or has no idea about who they are deep down. It isn’t my place to assume, so I give the advice anyways, even if I think the most realistic best-case scenario is you turning out to become a wealthy businessman who realizes he still missed out on really living.

Usually, when questioned about taking one path vs another, I tend to prefer a path that takes less time, expecting to take many other paths eventually for the sake of speed and experience. I think that life is long enough to make mistakes over and over again if we only prioritize the principles of making quick decisions, taking risks, adjusting constantly, and avoiding things that hinder freedom such as major debt commitments, going to jail, and marriage/children. I recommend moving from that boring city, quitting that boring job, starting that business, asking out that girl, and taking one leap of faith after another, all well before you think you’re ready. It probably will not work out, and that is just fine. I see success as the internal choice of how you made your decision, not if the decision turned out “good” or not. (Did you trust your gut? Did you make your decision based on fear or passion? Etc…)

We can only know looking backwards, and we must go forwards before we get the luxury of hindsight. I am not more intelligent than others, I just say “yes” a whole lot more, and become blessed with hindsight and clarity at a faster rate than others. I move faster because I am just not afraid of the consequences. All because there are none. First of all, no one is thinking about me in the first place. Everyone is too focused on themselves to care. Second of all, you’re gonna die, just like me and everyone else who ever lived. Everything will become dust and I don’t have the slightest worry of any of my mistakes lasting all that long. This gives me the stomach to do things that would keep other people up at night paralyzed in fear while I don’t have a moment of hesitation. It allows me to be in a peaceful and zen-like state. This is the only way of managing chaos, the chaos that comes with taking risks and growing businesses. I’ve found that other people worry more about me than I do about myself.

I have a highly sensitive distaste for anything that takes away my freedom to choose and therefore taste new things and learn more about myself. You could not pay me any reasonable amount of money to get married, join the military, give up x number of years from my life, stay in a job for too long, buy a home that requires me to stay in it and make payments for years, etc. But I would very quickly decide to enjoy a relationship, risk my life fighting abroad, take other possibly life-ending risks, try out even the most unenjoyable jobs, pay a high amount for rent, etc. The difference is that the first set of options reduces my ability to choose and learn about myself after a period of time, and the second set of options allows for me to try new things, learn and move on. And to me, that is the biggest priority.

Another way I like to gain clarity is to be alone. The next moment you spend time with someone, you will notice that it is difficult to have deep and introspective thoughts. It is similar to how a powerpoint presentation is either in “edit” mode, or in “present” mode. Around others, your brain is preoccupied with the focus of how you are presenting yourself in that moment, and it is more difficult to think with any real depth. To edit the website or the presentation, we must take it “down”. We must do the same for ourselves and spend enough time alone for our brain to use all of its power and focus on finding clarity in our lives. But without enough stimulus, our brain can lose its edge. We need to be alone, but we also need stimulus that comes from the world.

Another way our thoughts become shallow is from having too many things stealing our attention, as well as holding us hostage through attachment and ego. Not “social media” and our phones, but real things in our life such as hobbies, possessions, commitments, etc. It is said that the things we own end up owning us. That is true. All things require maintenance, as the universe loses order through the law of entropy. This means we have to take care of these things and we assume responsibility to keep them from deteriorating. The things we collect, as well as the people, hobbies and commitments we collect and associate as part of “who we are”, all end up becoming attachments that steal away space in our brain in order to maintain. I pay a little more for rent to live on a lake, but I live in a small place. I do not own many things. I go out with people to have fun but have very little attachment to anyone or anything. I am not my things. I am not my friends. I feel free enough to pick up and move anywhere. I feel free enough to throw away every single thing I have ever owned, leave every single person I have ever met, and give up every single thing I have ever done if I feel it is necessary for something greater. A human being needs food, water and shelter. How many things have you assumed as a “need”? This doesn’t mean we should live in poverty, but it means we should live without attachment so we can live simply when necessary. I am willing to be homeless if it came to it. I can promise you I would still be whistling and smiling every day. My happiness comes from my clarity. I would still tell you to your face without a doubt in my mind that I was meant for great things. And you can never take my clarity away from me. My happiness is inside of myself. I own it, more than I could ever possibly own anything else. It is not in another person and not in any physical thing. These are only leased for a period of time. Our things can be stolen. Another person can leave us at any time. We can enjoy these things, but my happiness is my own. It is in my own head.

When we can think at this depth, and understand ourselves clearly, we give less and less weight to the opinions of others, as I mentioned in my second paragraph. This is essential. I know you do not understand yourself. You have not considered things the way that I have. Your understanding is a circle, and my understanding is a circle that encompasses it. I know where you are coming from. I used to think that way myself, so I know the reasons you say the things you do. I’ve already heard them before. I know you stay up at night wondering if you matter.

This will cause you to see people for what they really are, just kids pretending to be grown-ups. Everyone is pretending. People are scared, anxious, dressing up and acting out roles and playing their best “adult” in a world that makes no sense to them. The words that come out of their mouth came from somewhere else, and the lives they are living are all a mixture of the lives of the people around them and the things from the world that they consume from others. These are the 99%. They echo some of the worst advice you could possibly imagine. I cannot stress enough the importance of having the audacity to ignore it.

Like in the second paragraph I wrote, to know ourselves deeply is necessary to be truly creative and live freely. To create anything is audacious. To say “This thing I am creating is something no one else has done in the thousands of years of human existence. It is something that is missing from this world and I am the one who should create it. And even though other people say negative things, it is still worth creating”. This is insane. Any self-belief whatsoever is completely audacious and arrogant, but it is the only way anything worthwhile is ever created. And the negative things and standard advice we hear aren’t told to us only rarely, but by 99% of the people in our society. It is enough to make even relatively confident individuals question themselves. This is why it is imperative to be confident beyond reason; to see 100 reasons to have doubts, 0 reasons to have faith, and still be bold enough to try with 100% conviction. Not just to check a box and say “I took a chance”, but to do so with everything we have. This is why only the insane people in our society can ever create something unique. This is why people who go against society by believing in themselves are people I admire more than anyone else. This is why I am proud of myself. This is what so much of my happiness comes from as well: knowing that I am insane enough to believe in myself when no one else does, and having seen results come to fruition out of that seed of self-belief that grew from the symbolic concrete of a world that says I am wrong. That is why I am proud of myself when I look in the mirror.

It is very powerful, your speech. I have to think of the Steve Jobs quote that says, "Only those who are foolish enough to think they

can change the world get there''.

 

[BaiAnrui]

@Johnny boy , like your insights! I think youre a little bit younger than i am , but that doesn.t matter .

It's like an island and the city. When you're busy in the city you just want to work to make it to the islands, but once you're on the island, you just want to get back to the city. It's a yin and yang

This is so recognizable, notice this already with holidays. Everyone is so happy, holiday at last. But then I get a bit restless, and start looking for things so that I can still work on my company. I really need to get away for a while, if I want to be able to take some time off. But then ideas keep on poping up

By the way, do you know the philosophy of life according to Stoicism? There are many similarities with your vision!

 

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[JoeTube]

I cannot be thankful enough for this post, @Johnny boy
It is so good I want to print it!

I particularly like this part below:

We can only know looking backwards, and we must go forwards before we get the luxury of hindsight. I am not more intelligent than others, I just say “yes” a whole lot more, and become blessed with hindsight and clarity at a faster rate than others. I move faster because I am just not afraid of the consequences. All because there are none. First of all, no one is thinking about me in the first place. Everyone is too focused on themselves to care. Second of all, you’re gonna die, just like me and everyone else who ever lived. Everything will become dust and I don’t have the slightest worry of any of my mistakes lasting all that long. This gives me the stomach to do things that would keep other people up at night paralyzed in fear while I don’t have a moment of hesitation. It allows me to be in a peaceful and zen-like state. This is the only way of managing chaos, the chaos that comes with taking risks and growing businesses. I’ve found that other people worry more about me than I do about myself.

Are there any specific activities (like owning a business) or books that you would recommend to solidify such internal beliefs as the ones you have?
I have similar ideas, but much less solid.

Thanks!

 

[Johnny boy]

Are there any specific activities (like owning a business) or books that you would recommend to solidify such internal beliefs as the ones you have?

Spend enough time alone to have very honest conversations with yourself. You'll have a midlife crisis every few months and you'll constantly reinvent yourself.

Do things you are afraid of doing, and much earlier than you're ready for. If you have trouble just do some cliches like climb a mountain and go bungee jumping.

''Bold & Determined Vol 1'' - Victor Pride : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

book

archive.org

The greatest kickstart for a man with nothing is an big ego and insecurities to conquer...the metamorphosis of turning nothing into having high expectations and a desire to succeed. The bigger the chip on your shoulder at first, the better.

 

[MartinG]

Love your way of thinking brother. I know you don’t subscribe to other peoples way of thinking/philosophy. Do you have any recommended reading or books that reflect the way you live your life? Thanks

 

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[Dan99]

Johnny boy​

Legendary Contributor​

EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Speedway Pass
May 9, 20171,9789,90025Washington State
All that matters in life is that we are happy with it.

A very Epicurean thesis of self with a lot of resemblance to Buddhist Sravaka motivation. (Likely a coincidence of large numbers of viewpoints happening to intersect due to the sheer number of written philosophies.)
I thank you for sharing.
This is a little response.
Beware isolation, your stories will dissolve. Stories are the true substance of identity, we all have some thought the form of each is unique, even if the story is "I have no story".
Beware blindness in enlightenment. That is the epitome of a charlatan. (Not that enlightenment is a bad thing, just don't settle for a small light when there are great lights too.)
Beware ataraxia. Your spirit (or whatever equivalent that current neuroscience has failed to quantify) needs some exercise too.
Beware ingratitude towards the works of your predecessors. Their sacrifices are the reason we haven't died of exposure to the elements, or disease, or starvation, or thirst, or predation yet.
Beware abandonment of your collective inheritance. The experience of billions of people will be a hard to outmatch with one life alone. (Although, I see you address this in a later post).
Beware excessive egoism (not to be confused with egotism). Other people are the only way your stories will outlive your mortal coil. (Although I recognise that you have probably given plenty to others at this point).

I think you would have loved to have been born a member of a solitary animal species like a moose, tiger, sea turtle or praying mantis. (Or at least I have surmised that the contents of your post would be more compatible with the life of a naturally solitary animal than a human).

Of course, any philosophy of life has massive negative consequences if it is pathologically followed, and its weak points go completely unaddressed. Even the caveats above would have negative consequences if taken to an extreme.
I appreciate the life experience that has gone into your philosophy, and I greatly respect your devotion to individuality that you have expressed, but I would have to decline if I were asked to adopt it (this is unlikely to be your intent, I'm just expressing my stance).
I also think that rebellion is a fair stance considering how tyrannically collectivist many modern cultures have become.
My intent is not to criticise or control the way you have chosen to live but to provide a sincere response to your post. I am not perfect myself and am just a 20 something with internet access.
Again, I thank you for being so forthcoming with something as personal as your thesis of self.

I will leave you with one final line.

Some things are somethings that are worth sacrificing some happiness for. Sometimes there is a happiness in a worn path, or is it my own insanity? A delusion forced upon me ?

Dan (probably insane and masochistic)

 

[Itizn]

Knowing who you are and how you appear to the rest of the world is a valuable thing.

Not entirely sure how to gather those answers though.