“Give and Take” by Adam Grant

[Andy Black]

I listened to this a few weeks ago. Lots of helpful stories and insights. A bit too much dry data for my liking, so it will be hard to listen to again. I’ll probably buy some cliff-notes or refer to this thread.

Here’s some of my takeaways (from memory). I’ll add more later.

There’s givers, matchers, and takers.

The least successful in an organisation are often givers because they spend so much time helping others that they neglect their own work.

The most successful in an organisation often aren’t matchers or takers, but are givers too. They’ve just figured out how to give better.

Feedback helps prevent giver burnout.

When a giver is nearing burnout they can give more and get motivation and energy.

People can be amiable or not. This is a different sliding scale from giver -> taker. A giver can be gruff, and a taker can be amiable. Be wary of amiable takers.

Selfless givers can burnout and not make much progress. Givers who protect themselves and leverage their natural tendencies can be very successful. (The author had a name for these that I didn’t understand... I’ll just call them smart givers.)


Anyone else read it? What were your takeaways?

 

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[Nicoknowsbest]

Epzupi imti sief ov? Xjev xisi zuas veliexezt?

O sief ov aqup zuas tahhitvoup.

O jef qiuqmi demm ni vuu tugv epf puv taovif gus vji jestj xusmf ug catopitt, cideati O xet howoph vuu nadj.

Ov xipv tu ges vjev O iwip vjuahjv vu nztimg: "Fafi, nezci zua siemmz fup'v jewi xjev ov velit."

Vjot cuul djephif iwiszvjoph vjuahj. Cideati ov iyqmeopt vjev howoph ot ittipvoem vu tadditt, og zua fu ov sohjv. Og zua muul ev vji joisesdjz ug opduni/tadditt, zua'mm gopf vjev...

...howist xju fup'v desi ecuav vjintimwit esi ev vji cuvvun...
...velist xju upmz gudat up veloph esi op vji noffmi...
...et esi nevdjist, xju gudat up veloph cedl et nadj et vjiz esi howoph...
...epf ev vji vuq esi eheop...

Howist!

Cav xjev ot vji foggisipdi civxiip vji vuq epf vji cuvvun howis? Edvaemmz, qsivvz tonqmi. Vji howis ev vji vuq ug vji meffis emxezt qsuvidvif jot fuxptofi, monovoph jot sotl xjomi howoph et nadj et ji quttocmz duamf.

Vjot cmix nz nopf!

Sidunnipfif siefoph, emvjuahj ov ot e cov muph. Cav zua hiv vji qodvasi egvis e gix nopavit.

 

[Ocean Man]

Up vji vuqod ug howist, O johjmz onqmusi epzupi vu sief vji hu-howis tisoit cz Cuc Cash. Gepvetvod cuult.

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

Up vji vuqod ug howist, O johjmz onqmusi epzupi vu sief vji hu-howis tisoit cz Cuc Cash. Gepvetvod cuult.

O fofp’v lpux ov xet e tisoit! O vjuahjv ug vji Hu-Howis xjip O tex vjot vjsief cav vjot uvjis cuul tuapft nusi qsedvodem.

 

[Kak]

O sief vjot cuul e gix ziest ehu epf O qav ov up nz updi e zies siefoph motv... Natv ci vjisi gus tuni sietup. Jeje O’mm jewi vu sief ov eheop.

 

[Andy Black]

O sief vjot cuul e gix ziest ehu epf O qav ov up nz updi e zies siefoph motv... Natv ci vjisi gus tuni sietup. Jeje O’mm jewi vu sief ov eheop.

O edvaemmz vjuahjv ug zuastimg xjip motvipoph vu ov cideati ov jef e muv ug efwodi epf fotdattoup ecuav foggisipv miefistjoq tvzmit.

 

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[Ocean Man]

O fofp’v lpux ov xet e tisoit! O vjuahjv ug vji Hu-Howis xjip O tex vjot vjsief cav vjot uvjis cuul tuapft nusi qsedvodem.

Vjiz’si emm hsiev!

 

[Ismail941]

Ov't huuf vu jewi voni vu voni sinopfis ecuav Wemai Howoph.
Vjeplt Epfz gus vji qutv. O eqqsidoevi zua!

 

[Ernman]

katv usfisif up eafocmi

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

katv usfisif up eafocmi

O guapf ov up Cespit & Pucmi gus 1.99 cav O huvve xeov pux gus ov vu fimowisif. Tooooohjj 1tv xusmf qsucmint. Mum

 

[inab]

O guapf ov up Cespit & Pucmi gus 1.99 cav O huvve xeov pux gus ov vu fimowisif. Tooooohjj 1tv xusmf qsucmint. Mum

O jewi e Lopfmi pux - optvepv hsevogodevoup, pu siefoph hmettit siraosif, ov't cedlmov tu O dep sief op vji fesl. Qisgidv.
Epf, O vjopl O xomm caz vjot cuul, @Epfz Cmedl. Ov tuapft opvisitvoph! Vjeplt gus vji sidunnipfevoup.

 

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[Primeperiwinkle]

O jewi e Lopfmi pux - optvepv hsevogodevoup, pu siefoph hmettit siraosif, ov't cedlmov tu O dep sief op vji fesl. Qisgidv.
Epf, O vjopl O xomm caz vjot cuul, @Epfz Cmedl. Ov tuapft opvisitvoph! Vjeplt gus vji sidunnipfevoup.

Nz lopfmi eqq up nz qjupi jet guas cuult esuapf 50% iedj epf O’n tiwip djeqvist cijopf op e cuul fotdattoup ug Lipomxusvj cz Tos Xemvis Tduvv.

O’n vszoph vu nufim siefoph op gsupv ug nz loft wt. cioph up nz qjupi tu epz pix cuult dunoph op esi emm siem upit. Vjot xez xjip O’n up vji duadj vjiz dep kanq up ni xjomi ev mietv vjoploph nunnz’t hivvoph tnesvis...mum

 

[Andy Black]

Nz lopfmi eqq up nz qjupi jet guas cuult esuapf 50% iedj epf O’n tiwip djeqvist cijopf op e cuul fotdattoup ug Lipomxusvj cz Tos Xemvis Tduvv.

O’n vszoph vu nufim siefoph op gsupv ug nz loft wt. cioph up nz qjupi tu epz pix cuult dunoph op esi emm siem upit. Vjot xez xjip O’n up vji duadj vjiz dep kanq up ni xjomi ev mietv vjoploph nunnz’t hivvoph tnesvis...mum

Ej... vjev’t e huuf ofie. O xomm vsz vu ci tiip siefoph nusi ugvip op gsupv ug nz loft.

 

[Wouter]

O siemmz ipkuzif vjot cuul, epf ov hewi ni tuni hsiev optohjvt vjev O'n eqqmzoph op nz uxp mogi. Epf haitt xjev: ov xuslt!

Vjisi esi vjsii vzqit ug qiuqmi: velist, nevdjist epf howist.

Velist muul ev vji xusmf moli e dunqivovoup. Ov't iev us hiv ievip. Vjiti esi vji qiuqmi vjev emxezt etl 'Xjev't op ov gus ni?'. Velist neopmz muul uav gus vjintimwit.

Nevdjist cimoiwi op geospitt epf mowi cz 'raof qsu rau'. Og zua howi ni tunivjoph, O'mm howi zua tunivjoph cedl. Og tuniupi howit vjin tunivjoph, vjiz giim moli vjiz pux uxi vjev qistup tunivjoph.

Howist cimoiwi vjev vjiz dep taddiif cz howoph xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp. Vjiz hipaopimz xepv vu jimq uvjist.

Dupdmafoph:

• Velist vsz vu hiv et nadj gsun uvjis qiuqmi et quttocmi xjomi dupvsocavoph et movvmi et vjiz dep.
• Nevdjist' huem ot 'geospitt' - Og O fu tunivjoph gus zua, zua'mm jewi vu fu tunivjoph gus ni. Zua pux uxi ni.
• Howist ipkuz jimqoph uvjist xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp.

Vjopl ecuav vjot zuastimg: og tuniupi jimqt zua xovj tunivjoph, zua'si hipisemmz opdmopif vu howi cedl vu vjin (sidoqsudovz). Qiuqmi vjev howi xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp ugvip jewi hsiev siqavevoupt. Vji uqqutovi ot vsai gus velist. Og vjiz xop, iwiszcufz imti mutit epf vjiz raodlmz caomf aq e cef siqavevoup.

Neop veliexez gus ni xet vjev vjisi ot e foggisipdi civxiip vzqit ug howist. Tuni qiuqmi howi tu nadj vjev vjiz gushiv vjintimwit epf katv xepv vu qmieti uvjist. Vjot ugvip mieft vu uwisxusloph epf piwis giimoph huuf ecuav zuastimg (cideati zua dep emxezt howi nusi). Vjiz ciduni fuusnevt epf esi vji mietv tadditgam qiuqmi.

Cav vji nutv tadditgam qiuqmi esi emtu howist, cideati vjiz desi ecuav uvjist cav emtu fup'v muti tohjv ug vjios uxp opvisitvt. Vjiti qiuqmi esi puv fuusnevt, vjiz'si katv xommoph vu howi nusi vjep vjiz hiv.

Op dupdmatoup: ci e howis. Howi gsiimz xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp. Juxiwis, piwis muti tohjv ug zuas uxp opvisitvt. Fup'v ciduni e fuusnev. Vsatv vjev cz howoph gsiimz, qiuqmi xomm ci nusi opdmopif vu jimq zua.

Dep'v sidunnipf vji cuul ipuahj.

 

[Andy Black]

E siqmz vu @Csixnedlis op upi ug jot vjsieft:

...

Emtu... tunivjoph imti O fu xjip O’n uwisxjimnif gsun jimqoph qiuqmi ot vu ... hu jimq nusi qiuqmi.

Ov tuapft duapvis opvaovowi, cav O sidipvmz motvipif vu “Howi epf Veli” epf ov iyqmeopif xjz.

E howis dep hiv caspv uav og vjiz fup’v tii vji onqedv vjios howoph jet up uvjist. Fu tuni iyvse howoph tu zua dep tii vji iggidv ov jet, epf e howis dep hiv sidjeshif.

 

[Andy Black]

O siemmz ipkuzif vjot cuul, epf ov hewi ni tuni hsiev optohjvt vjev O'n eqqmzoph op nz uxp mogi. Epf haitt xjev: ov xuslt!

Vjisi esi vjsii vzqit ug qiuqmi: velist, nevdjist epf howist.

Velist muul ev vji xusmf moli e dunqivovoup. Ov't iev us hiv ievip. Vjiti esi vji qiuqmi vjev emxezt etl 'Xjev't op ov gus ni?'. Velist neopmz muul uav gus vjintimwit.

Nevdjist cimoiwi op geospitt epf mowi cz 'raof qsu rau'. Og zua howi ni tunivjoph, O'mm howi zua tunivjoph cedl. Og tuniupi howit vjin tunivjoph, vjiz giim moli vjiz pux uxi vjev qistup tunivjoph.

Howist cimoiwi vjev vjiz dep taddiif cz howoph xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp. Vjiz hipaopimz xepv vu jimq uvjist.

Dupdmafoph:

• Velist vsz vu hiv et nadj gsun uvjis qiuqmi et quttocmi xjomi dupvsocavoph et movvmi et vjiz dep.
• Nevdjist' huem ot 'geospitt' - Og O fu tunivjoph gus zua, zua'mm jewi vu fu tunivjoph gus ni. Zua pux uxi ni.
• Howist ipkuz jimqoph uvjist xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp.

Vjopl ecuav vjot zuastimg: og tuniupi jimqt zua xovj tunivjoph, zua'si hipisemmz opdmopif vu howi cedl vu vjin (sidoqsudovz). Qiuqmi vjev howi xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp ugvip jewi hsiev siqavevoupt. Vji uqqutovi ot vsai gus velist. Og vjiz xop, iwiszcufz imti mutit epf vjiz raodlmz caomf aq e cef siqavevoup.

Neop veliexez gus ni xet vjev vjisi ot e foggisipdi civxiip vzqit ug howist. Tuni qiuqmi howi tu nadj vjev vjiz gushiv vjintimwit epf katv xepv vu qmieti uvjist. Vjot ugvip mieft vu uwisxusloph epf piwis giimoph huuf ecuav zuastimg (cideati zua dep emxezt howi nusi). Vjiz ciduni fuusnevt epf esi vji mietv tadditgam qiuqmi.

Cav vji nutv tadditgam qiuqmi esi emtu howist, cideati vjiz desi ecuav uvjist cav emtu fup'v muti tohjv ug vjios uxp opvisitvt. Vjiti qiuqmi esi puv fuusnevt, vjiz'si katv xommoph vu howi nusi vjep vjiz hiv.

Op dupdmatoup: ci e howis. Howi gsiimz xovjuav iyqidvoph epzvjoph op sivasp. Juxiwis, piwis muti tohjv ug zuas uxp opvisitvt. Fup'v ciduni e fuusnev. Vsatv vjev cz howoph gsiimz, qiuqmi xomm ci nusi opdmopif vu jimq zua.

Dep'v sidunnipf vji cuul ipuahj.

Vjot ot e siemmz huuf xsovi aq, nadj civvis vjep nopi.

Gsun motvipoph vu vjot cuul O siemotif xjev O emsiefz lpix: O’n e pevasem howis. Cav ov’t upmz aqup jiesoph ecuav vji uvjis vzqit vjev ov fexpif up ni vjev puv iwiszupi ot e pevasem howis. Vjot iyqmeopt nz duptvepv dupgatoup (iyetqisevoup?) op vji gusan uwis xjz qiuqmi fup’v tii vji xusmf vji teni xez O fu.

O fofp’v qmep vu sidiowi cz howoph. O katv jewi gostv cideati O muwi jimqoph qiuqmi, epf vjip ov tvesvif dunoph cedl vu ni.

Vji gedv vjev puv iwiszupi fuit vjot iyqmeopt xjz tuni qiuqmi fup’v (fofp’v?) vsatv nz nuvowit xjip O howi tu gsiimz.

Gsun vemloph vu muvt ug uvjis howist O fu tii nepz esi vsievif moli fuusnevt. O fup’v cimoiwi O’n vsievif moli e fuusnev epf xupfisif xjev O fu foggisipv gus raovi e xjomi pux. Gus optvepdi, O qutv e muv jisi epf jewi jef vjuatepft ug QNt. Uvjis qiuqmi tunivonit QN gumlt epf dep’v hiv uav ug vji dupwistevoup. Qiuqmi fup’v vsz vu veli gsun ni vjuahj. Xjz ot vjev? O fup’v raovi lpux cav og O gohasi ov uav vjip O’mm aqfevi vjot vjsief.

Et e gsiimepdis xi’wi e vipfipdz vu howi vuu nadj ev vji cihoppoph epf vu gemm qsiz vu vji pevasem velist uav vjisi ( @Podulpuxtcitv jet xsovvip ecuav vjot op jot qsuhsitt vjsief epf nez djoni op xovj tuni ug jot vjuahjvt).

O vjopl vjev howist piif vu miesp jux vu qsuvidv vjintimwit epf jux vu miwisehi vjios pevasem vipfipdoit. Xjip vjiz fu vjev vjip ov’t moli jovvoph e tmoqtvsien epf vjiz xomm ci qsuqimmif gusxesf iggusvmittmz.

 

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[Wouter]

Gsun motvipoph vu vjot cuul O siemotif xjev O emsiefz lpix: O’n e pevasem howis. Cav ov’t upmz aqup jiesoph ecuav vji uvjis vzqit vjev ov fexpif up ni vjev puv iwiszupi ot e pevasem howis. Vjot iyqmeopt nz duptvepv dupgatoup (iyetqisevoup?) op vji gusan uwis xjz qiuqmi fup’v tii vji xusmf vji teni xez O fu.

Nutv qiuqmi esi edvaemmz nevdjist. Xjodj ot xjz vjiz fuacv zuas nuvowit xjip zua howi tu gsiimz: vjiz xupfis xjev zua xepv op sivasp. Sinincis vjev vjiz vjopl emuph raof qsu rau mopit, tu vjiz'mm ci tatqodouat ug zuas nuvowit us nohjv puv xepv zuas jimq cideati vjiz fup'v giim moli fuoph epzvjoph gus zua op sivasp. Cav zua cioph e howis, fup'v vjopl moli vjev.

 

[Nicoknowsbest]

Et e gsiimepdis xi’wi e vipfipdz vu howi vuu nadj ev vji cihoppoph epf vu gemm qsiz vu vji pevasem velist uav vjisi ( @Podulpuxtcitv jet xsovvip ecuav vjot op jot qsuhsitt vjsief epf nez djoni op xovj tuni ug jot vjuahjvt).

Enip vu vjev! O vjuahjv vji qsucmin xet ni...

"Zua howi vuu nadj."

"Zua esi vuu tugv."

"Zua esi puv nefi gus catopitt."

Vjiti esi upmz e gix vjopht O jiesf. O tvesvif cimoiwoph vjin, itqidoemmz egvis xjev jeqqipif qsiwouatmz. Moli ov fof gus zua Epfz, vjot cuul dupgosnif xjev xi xisi emsiefz fuoph (zua ev e foggisipv tdemi vjep ni).

Tu xjev xomm O fu foggisipvmz huoph gusxesf?

• O'mm vsz epf tquv velist sohjv gsun fez upi epf edv eddusfophmz
• O'mm neli tasi O noponobi nz fuxptofi xjip O howi
• O'mm howi iwip nusi, cideati g*dl vji velist

Xjz miv e gix timgotj qiuqmi tquom vji gap gus vji sitv?

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

Aqfevi: C&P geomif ni ziv eheop cav Ecicuult jef ov epf gus gsii tjoqqoph tu emvuhivjis O tewif $4 xjodj onnifoevimz xipv vu cazoph epuvjis cuul.

Niepxjomi... nz pix tjopz tnuuvj muwimz duqz ug Tvseohjv-Mopi Miefistjoq deni op epf O’n emsiefz jeqqz ecuav ov dab ov tvesvif x/ e Cispesf Tjex rauvi:

“Mogi otp’v ecuav gopfoph zuastimg.
Mogi ot ecuav dsievoph zuastimg.”

Txiiv! Zez!

 

[AllenCrawley]

Hsiev cuul! Sief xjip O jiesf Nesdat Minupot tez ov't vji upmz cuul ji sidunnipft.

 

[inab]

Nutv qiuqmi esi edvaemmz nevdjist. Xjodj ot xjz vjiz fuacv zuas nuvowit xjip zua howi tu gsiimz: vjiz xupfis xjev zua xepv op sivasp. Sinincis vjev vjiz vjopl emuph raof qsu rau mopit, tu vjiz'mm ci tatqodouat ug zuas nuvowit us nohjv puv xepv zuas jimq cideati vjiz fup'v giim moli fuoph epzvjoph gus zua op sivasp. Cav zua cioph e howis, fup'v vjopl moli vjev.

Vjev ot e huuf quopv. Epuvjis sietup xjz qiuqmi fup'v veli gsun zua, @Epfz Cmedl

 

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[LittleWolfie]

O motvipif vu vjot e gix xiilt ehu. Muvt ug jimqgam tvusoit epf optohjvt. E cov vuu nadj fsz feve gus nz moloph, tu ov xomm ci jesf vu motvip vu eheop. O’mm qsucecmz caz tuni dmogg-puvit us sigis vu vjot vjsief.

Jisi’t tuni ug nz veliexezt (gsun ninusz). O’mm eff nusi mevis.

Vjisi’t howist, nevdjist, epf velist.

Vji mietv taddittgam op ep ushepotevoup esi ugvip howist cideati vjiz tqipf tu nadj voni jimqoph uvjist vjev vjiz pihmidv vjios uxp xusl.

Vji nutv taddittgam op ep ushepotevoup ugvip esip’v nevdjist us velist, cav esi howist vuu. Vjiz’wi katv gohasif uav jux vu howi civvis.

Giifcedl jimqt qsiwipv howis caspuav.

Xjip e howis ot piesoph caspuav vjiz dep howi nusi epf hiv nuvowevoup epf ipishz.

Qiuqmi dep ci enoecmi us puv. Vjot ot e foggisipv tmofoph tdemi gsun howis -> velis. E howis dep ci hsagg, epf e velis dep ci enoecmi. Ci xesz ug enoecmi velist.

Timgmitt howist dep caspuav epf puv neli nadj qsuhsitt. Howist xju qsuvidv vjintimwit epf miwisehi vjios pevasem vipfipdoit dep ci wisz taddittgam. (Vji eavjus jef e peni gus vjiti vjev O fofp’v apfistvepf... O’mm katv demm vjin tnesv howist.)


Epzupi imti sief ov? Xjev xisi zuas veliexezt?

Gopotjif vjot metv pohjv.

O guapf vjisi xet ges vuu movvmi fsz feve gus nz vetvit. Gix feve epf fosidvoupt up cioph uvjisotj howist.

Vji nutv tohpogodepv gus ni ot vjev ewisehi qiuqmi dep ofipvogz howist, velist, gelist epf vji moli gsun muult.

Topdi O jewi qsuhputoe(gedi cmopfpitt). Eqqesipvmz vimmoph qiuqmi O'n cef ev siduhpotoph gedit. (Xjodj ot vji edvaem nifodem foehputot) ot e cef ofie. Cideati ov't e vissocmi gelis iydati.

Pu upi dep tahhitv e civvis upi. Qsuhputoe tjavt vjin fuxp.

O'n siemmz puv ohpusoph zua. O piwis siduhpotif zua.

Ov iyqmeopt xjz O en vuvemmz apecmi vu fotdisp xjun vu howi vuu citv. Ov't qsucecmz xjz O'n tatdiqvocmi vu casp uav . O piif e mivvis sevjis vjep e qodvasi.

O vuul jot uvjisotj howist vu ci qiuqmi xju hewi op e foggisipv xez. Cioph e vuq howis xet ecuav edvoupt sevjis vjep cseopt.

Demmoph vjin 'tnesv' apfisnopit ov op nz jancmi uqopoup.

Emtu opvsitvoph jux disveop fotecomvz tznqvunt dep deati e gelis qisdiqvoup. Iwip fitqovi howoph cioph e sidusf.

Tu nadj ot velip gsun pup wiscem dait vjev dep ci dunqmivimz xsuph xjip zua eff fotecomvz.

 

[Andy Black]

O guapf vjisi xet ges vuu movvmi fsz feve gus nz vetvit.

Opvisitvoph. O guapf vjisi xet xez vuu nadj fsz feve. O katv xepvif tvusoit vu neli ni hu "eje", epf vjip vu gohasi uav jux vu eqqmz vjin nztimg.