My biggest mental block: I can't seem to move on quickly from my successes. I must give myself extended pats on the back and tell myself how great I am every chance I get.
(btw, I'm not even remotely successful relative to many people here... but in my world, in my network... I see myself as quite successful)
I celebrate a success or brag about it (usually internally, but sometimes externally to others). What happens?
I get an ego boost. What does that do for me?
Makes me feel good for a little bit.
Then what?
I start to feel like crap because I’ve been dwelling on my success and my to-do’s aren’t getting done.
Then I think about how much potential I’m wasting. Probably about 50-60%.
If I just keep breaking through wall after wall, I’d be operating closer to 100%.
Why do I have to throw a mental masturbation party every time I break down a wall?
Is the root of it measuring myself against others? Why am I always monitoring my hourly and my income? Why am I thinking of how much other people are making, how much they’re working, in relation to me?
If I competed with myself every day, and tried to get better every day regardless of what anyone else was doing, would I reach my goals more effectively?
Or do I need to surround myself with people who are better than me so I get that motivation back? What I observe in nature is that life is just one big competition. People (even successful ones) try to convince us that it isn’t, and that we must drop the ego, but is this just some kind of coping mechanism where they don’t want to believe their achievements come from competition with others? I’m beginning to think it is a coping mechanism of that sort. You can’t just come out and say you’re competing against people. They won’t like you. Thus, you have to conceal it and make them think you’re not on a quest to feel superior to them.
Can I keep growing when I’m around a network with such low standards? I already feel so far ahead of them. There’s no competition anxiety. I feel superior.
That sounds bad but it’s honestly how I feel. They even tell me they’re jealous, which further feeds my ego, but I know it’s not what I need. That’s not going to help me grow. It’s going to make me complacent. If I had someone in my network who was far above me, who was telling me I was shit (or made me feel inadequate indirectly), I really feel like I’d have motivation again to keep pushing until I caught up and beat him or her.
Is this why surrounding yourself with a strong network is so important? For competition? So you don’t stagnate?
Stoicism seems like an obvious alternative, but where does motivation come from as a stoic? Where’s the drive? Where does that fire come from if the goal is to suppress emotion? What’s the payoff?
I know there’s a flaw in my thought pattern somewhere. I’m just trying to find some insight so I can use my logic and reason to rewire my brain into a more conducive approach, instead of celebrating excessively and stunting my potential.
Anyone ever have similar thoughts?
(btw, I'm not even remotely successful relative to many people here... but in my world, in my network... I see myself as quite successful)
I celebrate a success or brag about it (usually internally, but sometimes externally to others). What happens?
I get an ego boost. What does that do for me?
Makes me feel good for a little bit.
Then what?
I start to feel like crap because I’ve been dwelling on my success and my to-do’s aren’t getting done.
Then I think about how much potential I’m wasting. Probably about 50-60%.
If I just keep breaking through wall after wall, I’d be operating closer to 100%.
Why do I have to throw a mental masturbation party every time I break down a wall?
Is the root of it measuring myself against others? Why am I always monitoring my hourly and my income? Why am I thinking of how much other people are making, how much they’re working, in relation to me?
If I competed with myself every day, and tried to get better every day regardless of what anyone else was doing, would I reach my goals more effectively?
Or do I need to surround myself with people who are better than me so I get that motivation back? What I observe in nature is that life is just one big competition. People (even successful ones) try to convince us that it isn’t, and that we must drop the ego, but is this just some kind of coping mechanism where they don’t want to believe their achievements come from competition with others? I’m beginning to think it is a coping mechanism of that sort. You can’t just come out and say you’re competing against people. They won’t like you. Thus, you have to conceal it and make them think you’re not on a quest to feel superior to them.
Can I keep growing when I’m around a network with such low standards? I already feel so far ahead of them. There’s no competition anxiety. I feel superior.
That sounds bad but it’s honestly how I feel. They even tell me they’re jealous, which further feeds my ego, but I know it’s not what I need. That’s not going to help me grow. It’s going to make me complacent. If I had someone in my network who was far above me, who was telling me I was shit (or made me feel inadequate indirectly), I really feel like I’d have motivation again to keep pushing until I caught up and beat him or her.
Is this why surrounding yourself with a strong network is so important? For competition? So you don’t stagnate?
Stoicism seems like an obvious alternative, but where does motivation come from as a stoic? Where’s the drive? Where does that fire come from if the goal is to suppress emotion? What’s the payoff?
I know there’s a flaw in my thought pattern somewhere. I’m just trying to find some insight so I can use my logic and reason to rewire my brain into a more conducive approach, instead of celebrating excessively and stunting my potential.
Anyone ever have similar thoughts?
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