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It is called the security dilemma.Don't you think that it's not NATO wanting to expand but rather smaller independent countries with small militaries wanting to have some security against the threat of Russian invasion?
I am from a small baltic country. If we hadn't joined Nato nearly 20 years ago, we would be super screwed and under constant threat from Russia as we also have around 25% percent russian population (due to mass deportations of the ethnic population during Soviet times).
If you look at the map of Europe, the Baltic countries are also part of NATO and share a border with Russia - so the whole point of Russia being against Ukraine joining NATO because then NATO would share a border with Russia is not that relevant (of course the border area shared would be much bigger if that would happen)...
Your country fear Russia but Russia fears you joining NATO.
So both parties arming themselves to point guns at each other and make both parties actually not safe.
Joining NATO is making your country more safe and more dangerous at the same time.
The counter example is Mongolia which is sandwiched between China and Russia, which acts as a buffer zone. If Mongolia is part of Russia or China that would make Russia and China relationship much more tense.
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