So Frustrated With Myself, Need Some Wisdom.

[Dolf112]

Lately I have become so lost. I feel like I'm going crazy. When people around me ask the problem I tell them the same thing. "I want to do something, build something. I don't have any money so I know that It has to be something I can bootstrap. Maybe a services business that doesn't take a lot of tools to start. But I'm well and truly lost and I'm fearful of wasting my life doing something and It being worthless."
Maybe I suffocate myself with analysis paralysis sometimes.

I'm here asking for words of wisdom from the beautiful and brutally honest people of TMF because the people in my family that I annoy on a daily basis, all have said "you're asking the wrong people, you need to ask people who think more like you do."

I don't even know what my main issue is, anxiety? Fear? Analysis paralysis? Perfectionism? All of the above?

It seems to be a silly question to ask if anybody here has felt this way before, so I ask how did you get out of this rut?

Thank you in advance.

 

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[devine]

What can you possibly offer?

 

[Dolf112]

What can you possibly offer?

I'm going to try to type my thought process as the answer to your question.

What can I offer... Well I know how to do handyman things.... Oh he means value, It might be my mindset thats screwed because I am making this about me..... Whatever I do though I know I'll make an effort to offer the best version... I'll even create a great working environment for people who love safe secure jobs.... Still I think he means I need to identify a need....

That is pretty much how my thought process went. Is that far from how I should be thinking?
Is that what you meant?

 

[Runum]

Lately I have become so lost. I feel like I'm going crazy. When people around me ask the problem I tell them the same thing. "I want to do something, build something. I don't have any money so I know that It has to be something I can bootstrap. Maybe a services business that doesn't take a lot of tools to start. But I'm well and truly lost and I'm fearful of wasting my life doing something and It being worthless."
Maybe I suffocate myself with analysis paralysis sometimes.

I'm here asking for words of wisdom from the beautiful and brutally honest people of TMF because the people in my family that I annoy on a daily basis, all have said "you're asking the wrong people, you need to ask people who think more like you do."

I don't even know what my main issue is, anxiety? Fear? Analysis paralysis? Perfectionism? All of the above?

It seems to be a silly question to ask if anybody here has felt this way before, so I ask how did you get out of this rut?

Thank you in advance.

I read your past intros and posts. You have experience and battle scars. You have made money and been involved in building businesses. You also have disappointments from the results of those endeavors.

Not sure what your hesitation is now. You should celebrate and take advantage of your experiences. If money is the issue, you are in sales, sell more. Pick up a temp second job, buy and flip stuff. Get hustling to solve the immediate problem.

If you don't have a direction then volunteer for a charity and talk to people. Listen to them and find opportunities.

Take the focus off of yourself and your problems. Look out and see where you can get involved with others.

Good luck.

 

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[devine]

I'm going to try to type my thought process as the answer to your question.

What can I offer... Well I know how to do handyman things.... Oh he means value, It might be my mindset thats screwed because I am making this about me..... Whatever I do though I know I'll make an effort to offer the best version... I'll even create a great working environment for people who love safe secure jobs.... Still I think he means I need to identify a need....

That is pretty much how my thought process went. Is that far from how I should be thinking?
Is that what you meant?

Things are simplier than you think)

If you're a handyman, that's very little value you can provide others with, because your reach and your time both are limited.

Where are you located? What is an urgent need in your local area that is not fulfilled yet? How much money does it cost to fulfill this need? What's the scalability?
After you answer these questions, you will have a definitive list of required efforts to create a business. To get there is just a matter of time.

 

[Dolf112]

I read your past intros and posts. You have experience and battle scars. You have made money and been involved in building businesses. You also have disappointments from the results of those endeavors.

Not sure what your hesitation is now. You should celebrate and take advantage of your experiences. If money is the issue, you are in sales, sell more. Pick up a temp second job, buy and flip stuff. Get hustling to solve the immediate problem.

If you don't have a direction then volunteer for a charity and talk to people. Listen to them and find opportunities.

Take the focus off of yourself and your problems. Look out and see where you can get involved with others.

Good luck.

I appreciate this response so much. You're right I should take advantage of my experiences. I think the reason I don't is because for everything I learn that is new, I realise there is another 100 things I don't know. That I didn't know I didn't know. If that makes sense haha.
Thank you.

 

[Runum]

I appreciate this response so much. You're right I should take advantage of my experiences. I think the reason I don't is because for everything I learn that is new, I realise there is another 100 things I don't know. That I didn't know I didn't know. If that makes sense haha.
Thank you.

You will never know it all or enough. You can't wait until it all aligns. You go forward and adjust as you go. You will make mistakes no use in fretting over that. Learn for it and move on.

 

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[Dolf112]

Things are simplier than you think)

If you're a handyman, that's very little value you can provide others with, because your reach and your time both are limited.

Where are you located? What is an urgent need in your local area that is not fulfilled yet? How much money does it cost to fulfill this need? What's the scalability?
After you answer these questions, you will have a definitive list of required efforts to create a business. To get there is just a matter of time.

Handyman definitely isn't my only value but I do see your point. Every idea I try to run through the CENTS commandments but I usually have to sacrifice one or two because of lack of capital or other factors.

 

[Dolf112]

You will never know it all or enough. You can't wait until it all aligns. You go forward and adjust as you go. You will make mistakes no use in fretting over that. Learn for it and move on.

Is it possible that with all the information that is available nowadays, people get so many things to choose from, and the fear of loss if they don't take this path or that path is so great that ultimately we end up doing nothing and getting exactly what we didn't want in the first place?

 

[devine]

Handyman definitely isn't my only value but I do see your point. Every idea I try to run through the CENTS commandments but I usually have to sacrifice one or two because of lack of capital or other factors.

Put it that way:
No capital = no business.

I love smooth talks about hustling, starting from zero, overcoming obstacles and so on, but as a person who did this, I cannot advise to start with no capital. For every dollar you cannot afford to pay - you need to compensate with your knowledge and overcompensate with your time.
This is how 99% of people waste years on things that can be achieved in months.

Save money. Work on idea.
Annoy the hell out of people who can help you and give you knowledge, in a good manner.

 

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[Dolf112]

Put it that way:
No capital = no business.

I love smooth talks about hustling, starting from zero, overcoming obstacles and so on, but as a person who did this, I cannot advice on starting with no capital. For every dollar you cannot afford to pay - you need to compensate with your knowledge and overcompensate with your time.
This is how 99% of people waste years on things that can be achieved in months.

Save money. Work on idea.
Annoy the hell out of people who can help you and give you knowledge, in a good manner.

That's a very interesting take, I'm assuming you mean for example, you have no marketing budget so you have to become creative and spend hours and hours doing that thing. Whereas with the money, you can place an ad on social media, radio or even do a leaflet campaign?

It is hard to bring myself to annoy people lol. That is why I was reluctant to ask for advice from people on here first. Time is valuable to most people on this forum and I don't want to be responsible for "wasting" it.

 

[Runum]

Is it possible that with all the information that is available nowadays, people get so many things to choose from, and the fear of loss if they don't take this path or that path is so great that ultimately we end up doing nothing and getting exactly what we didn't want in the first place?

Possible. You asked. Ultimately you have to choose that best path for you. You have to decide whether entrepreneurship sounds cool and fun or if it is truly something you are cut out for. You also have to quit comparing yourself to others on or off the forum.

 

[Soleo]

Lately I have become so lost.

For what it's worth, I've felt like this also. I felt the most lost right before starting my most recent business. So far, it has been my most successful. I've said this before: It's not where I want it to be, but it's getting there.

I don't have any money so I know that It has to be something I can bootstrap. Maybe a services business that doesn't take a lot of tools to start.

I didn't have much money when I started my business. ...and since no one knew my business, I had to prove my worth. I did one job for free, and did it better than anyone else. I have continued getting contracts from that place. I invested about a total of $300.00 over a 3-month period getting our website up and running before launching.

But I'm well and truly lost and I'm fearful of wasting my life doing something and It being worthless. Maybe I suffocate myself with analysis paralysis sometimes.

You can't think like this! Your mentality determines your outcome. You perform how you feel. If you appear worthless when you try selling yourself, people will pick up on it. Get over it! You are greater than you think. You can do it!

 

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[Dolf112]

For what it's worth, I've felt like this also. I felt the most lost right before starting my most recent business. So far, it has been my most successful. I've said this before, it's not where I want it to be, but it's getting there.



I didn't have much money when I started my business. ...and since no one knew my business, I had to prove my worth. I did one job for free, and did it better than anyone else. I have continued getting contracts from that place. I invested about a total of $300.00 over a 3-month period getting our website up and running before launching.



You can't think like this! Your mentality determines your outcome. You perform how you feel. If you appear worthless when you try selling yourself, people will pick up on it. Get over it! You are greater than you think. You can do it!

It is worth a lot to hear that I'm not on my own feeling this way. Congratulations on your success so far. Luckily I know my way around smiling, eye contact, excitement and body language so I never appear un-confident but i definitely feel that way sometimes. Thank you.

 

[Soleo]

Time is valuable to most people on this forum and I don't want to be responsible for "wasting" it.

While I can't speak for everyone else, if I didn't have time I wouldn't have read your post or even posted my .02. No need to feel you are wasting my time.

 

[Dolf112]

While I can't speak for everyone else, if I didn't have time I wouldn't have read your post or even posted my .02.

You are right, but I have seen posts in the past in which people get ridiculed for asking things similar to what I'm asking.

 

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[devine]

That's a very interesting take, I'm assuming you mean for example, you have no marketing budget so you have to become creative and spend hours and hours doing that thing. Whereas with the money, you can place an ad on social media, radio or even do a leaflet campaign?

It is hard to bring myself to annoy people lol. That is why I was reluctant to ask for advice from people on here first. Time is valuable to most people on this forum and I don't want to be responsible for "wasting" it.

Yes and no.
Biggest mistake I see is when someone puts money in marketing. Marketing is not a problem. Problem is what you market.

On the internet, your product/service is only as good as you represent it, your #1 focus must be that. Your #1 investment must be that.

Have a representation ready? Proceed to approaching prospects individually.
It doesn't cost money and you better not delegate it.

Proven it works? Gathered intelligence?
Proceed to paid ads.

 

[Soleo]

You are right, but I have seen posts in the past in which people get ridiculed for asking things similar to what I'm asking.

I have read some of the posts too.

What I have gathered was:

A) Those people weren't willing to listen, and were taking offense to criticism, which usually resulted in aggravation. ...which ultimately further escalated the post.

or

B) People were being really honest about a topic. Basically someone posts "I can't do this", the response is "You are right you can't, and you won't". Response is that because if you are already admitting defeat then you have been defeated. They are trying to tell the posters that they need to change their attitudes.

 

[Dolf112]

Yes and no.
Biggest mistake I see is when someone puts money in marketing. Marketing is not a problem. Problem is what you market.

On the internet, your product/service is only as good as you represent it, your #1 focus must be that. Your #1 investment must be that.

Have a representation ready? Proceed to approaching prospects individually.
It doesn't cost money and you better not delegate it.

Proven it works? Gathered intelligence?
Proceed to paid ads.

I re-read this a few times. You certainly make me think a lot.
This is great advice!

 

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[Dolf112]

I have read some of the posts too.

What I have gathered was:

A) Those people weren't willing to listen, and were taking offense to criticism, which usually resulted in aggravation. ...which ultimately further escalated the post.

or

B) People were being really honest about a topic. Basically someone posts "I can't do this", the response is "You are right you can't, and you won't". Response is that because if you are already admitting defeat then you have been defeated. They are trying to tell the posters that they need to change their attitudes.

That is fair enough, that is why I mentioned "brutally honest" in my OP.

 

[Mr.Chaos]

This is what we call "The Suck" as an entrepreneur you will feel this at times, it is normal. Walk away and go live for a few, come back brush up on a few skills and then attack again.

Andy or Andrew made a post about this a while ago ill have to dig it up for you!


Relax.

 

[Dolf112]

This is what we call "The Suck" as an entrepreneur you will feel this at times, it is normal. Walk away and go live for a few, come back brush up on a few skills and then attack again.

Andy or Andrew made a post about this a while ago ill have to dig it up for you!


Relax.

Thanks for the reassurance.

 

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[miked_d]

how did you get out of this rut?

I tried something different. And after that, something different. After that, I was in working in a go-nowhere part-time job when I started on a small side-hustle. I have become really good at the side-hustle. It is now my fastlane vehicle.

Look at my sign-up date. It took me a long time with many false starts. I did not come up with a great idea right away but I kept going.

I hope this helps.

 

[GMSI7D]

I'm here asking for words of wisdom from the beautiful and brutally honest people of TMF .

ok i will be brutally honest with you as you wish :


the first questions to ask :

what are you willing to die for ?


if you don't even know what your values and your goals are ;

if you don't know what you will and won't accept from life;

then how can you even naviguate in life's oceans of adversity ?



it is like someone asking a captain :



" captain , where are we going ? "



" i don't know !! i was walking arround when i saw this ship and then i came aboard and i don't know what i am doing here ! "





odds are you will call a doctor to send the would-be captain to the asylum

 

[Andy Black]

Seems like you're in your own way.

You can get out of your own way when you try to help someone else.

Maybe the second bolded link in my signature might help (the one about 700+ PMs with fellow forum members).

The first radio interview linked to in my signature might help too.


Nothing wrong with selling your handyman service. Find out if you can indeed sell it to people close to you. Find out what is asked for often, or that's a big pain for home-owners.

Don't worry about CENTS for the moment. Just get out there and engage the market (aka help people and get paid for it).


Who will you help this week?

 

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[AndrewNC]

Reach out to me - I can help with the mindset. But before you reach out - help someone else with something first.

 

[Dolf112]

Seems like you're in your own way.

You can get out of your own way when you try to help someone else.

Maybe the second bolded link in my signature might help (the one about 700+ PMs with fellow forum members).

The first radio interview linked to in my signature might help too.


Nothing wrong with selling your handyman service. Find out if you can indeed sell it to people close to you. Find out what is asked for often, or that's a big pain for home-owners.

Don't worry about CENTS for the moment. Just get out there and engage the market (aka help people and get paid for it).


Who will you help this week?

Just reading your 700+ pm's post and the video Andy Talks015 sounds exactly like me, Thank you Andy.

 

[Dolf112]

Reach out to me - I can help with the mindset. But before you reach out - help someone else with something first.

Will do. Thank you.

 

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[AndrewNC]

Will do. Thank you.

Where in England are you? I'm in Manchester until Thursday!

 

[Dolf112]

Where in England are you? I'm in Manchester until Thursday!

I'm in Walsall, About 20 miles North of Birmingham. Less than 2 hours from Manchester.