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RANT Not satisfied...

MoneyDoc

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Lost over 80+ lbs. Put on a ton of muscle. In the best shape of my life. Started a new brand. Doing extremely well. Branching out to more products under the same brand.

BUT...

I don't have a sense of satisfaction... it feels "weird"... like, what am I doing with my life... why?

Anyone that's successful ever get into these deep thoughts? Any tips on overcoming them?
 

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NewManRising

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Sometimes. But what I have figured out is that when feeling like this is comes down to two reasons. One is, losing weight/building wealth/success is based on a warped motivation. You have to ask yourself, are your choices and actions coming from you or based on society's idea of wealth/happiness/value/self-worth? I think when some people decide to better their life they do it partly for themselves because it is good but there are still society's influences in their head. In other words, there is some need for validation lingering in your mind and so your choices about bettering your life are not fully controlled by you. You are not in control of your contentment nor the idea of your personal happiness.

The other is, the dumb idea that you need to chase things. The problem with most people is they have this nagging idea in their head that certain things need to be a certain way in order to be happy and fulfilled. They worry that if they do not have everything they are somehow not complete or happy. It is basically a comparison to other people. People look at their lives and their age and believe they need to be/do/act/possess a certain thing in order to be happy. Again, this is society's influence once again. The truth is, you don't need to have certain things, or just because you are 29/36/49 years old you SHOULD be at a certain stage in your life. I think the number one reason people are unhappy is they perceive falsely how their life SHOULD BE based on comparing their lives to others. In other words, they treat life like a grocery list of things that need to be done by a certain age, rather than focusing on contentment and having control of their life and choices. Life is not some rigid path that must be followed perfectly. That is a bullshit idea in your head.
The mistake people make is they feel like they can't enjoy life or be happy UNTIL they possess something or achieve a certain goal or they have more than everyone. Did you know you can enjoy life and be happy RIGHT NOW? You don't need to wait on happiness or contentment. You don't have to run through life waiting for that moment to be happy and then be old and still not happy because you never understood this. In other words, you are chasing the event. You are treating happiness and fulfullment like an event and not a process. Therefore, you can't live in the present and be happy.
 
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RazorCut

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Ditto to @NewManRising

Possessions, goals, events don't bring lasting happiness. Just a spike in endorphins and a brief sense of satisfaction.

I think we all need something to aim for in life as that is a part of the human physi. It's inbreed in the species and the reason we have progressed so rapidly. But we often associate that with happiness. If I just do this or that I will be satisfied and happy. The truth is unless, your life is in tatters, more of what you desire will not bring lasting satisfaction or happiness. Family bring happiness, children to care for, a significant other to share life's pleasures with. But even then that might not be enough.

The richest people in the world have worked that out and found that satisfaction comes not from receiving but from giving. Philanthropy (the desire to help others) is not just restricted to the rich either. Many people dedicate their lives to helping others and are often the happiest people you could meet. After all wealth is measured in many ways.

I was listening to a pod cast on Scott Harrison yesterday. This guy had what most would consider a privileged lifestyle for over a decade making serious money while mixing with the rich and the famous. He too had no sense of satisfaction. It's an interesting listen.

Here is the first podcast (skip to 5:00 min in):

#114: Scott Harrison—Building a Culture of Innovation

I'm not saying make massive changes to your life, but maybe consider if your lack of satisfaction might be in part due to your lifestyle.

I know that I had much greater satisfaction when I owned a Pizzeria rather than an eCommerce store. That was because, although I enjoyed spending my days with my staff, and building the business up was fun, I didn't get the sense of satisfaction you get with a face to face relationship with your customers. Especially repeat customers. Ecommerce can be a lonely existence.

-
 

ZCP

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Where does what you are doing fit with the 6 basic needs?
 

MTF

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Went through the same phase and still am experiencing it every now and then. One of my friends who also achieved his goals has been going through the same thing.

I'm not exactly sure what helps most as it seems to depend on a variety of factors. However, I believe that there are a few things you can do to feel better:
  • Choose your state - if you focus on what's wrong, you'll feel bad. You can largely choose whether you feel happy or not by focusing on what's going well in your life, expressing gratitude, and generally, spreading positive vibes. It takes work (particularly if you don't feel like doing it), but I always find it helpful. Even something as stupid as smiling at a random stranger (as long as they look friendly lol) can lift your spirits.
  • Always have a goal - it's fine to take a break every now and then and just enjoy life, but eventually you'll lose a sense of meaning if you don't have any goals to pursue. For example, some time ago I got interested in filmmaking. Learning a completely new topic can be pretty absorbing and makes life more exciting.
  • Seek fulfillment, not happiness - it sounds strange, but you'll feel happier when you focus on fulfillment than happiness. In other words, you might actually feel better when you allow some suffering in your life (for example, work on a very hard project, go on a long-distance hardcore hike, etc.) than when you focus on pure hedonism (this is particularly true for entrepreneurs who often feel like wasting their lives if they aren't doing anything productive, ideally something that makes money - even if they don't necessarily need it). David Goggins is a good example here - the guy essentially found his meaning in suffering. For most people it's impossible to be as extreme as he is, but there's a lot you can gain by embracing this attitude at least to a small extent.
  • Assess your relationships - people in our life have a big impact on how we feel (duh). Who always makes you feel better after spending time with them? Who always makes you feel worse? Is there anyone (or any potential group of people) who is always so excited, positive, and driven that they "infect" you with it, even if just for a brief moment while you're with them? Also, having a support group of people struggling with the same things is extremely helpful (that's why I'm a part of @Kung Fu Steve's coaching group).
  • Identify the specific moments when you feel good - for me, it's often when I write or do something productive, but I also feel great when practicing various sports. Identifying these moments and then making sure they're a part of your weekly schedule can help, too.
Granted, sometimes nothing works. What I do then is just tell myself that it will eventually pass and that it's okay to feel bad every now and then. Just make sure that you won't make it worse by indulging in the negative emotions too much.

Happy to chat about it more if you're interested. I've been struggling with this for a long time and I know how it feels.

@Kung Fu Steve can probably add something valuable here...
 

Kung Fu Steve

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Went through the same phase and still am experiencing it every now and then. One of my friends who also achieved his goals has been going through the same thing.

I'm not exactly sure what helps most as it seems to depend on a variety of factors. However, I believe that there are a few things you can do to feel better:
  • Choose your state - if you focus on what's wrong, you'll feel bad. You can largely choose whether you feel happy or not by focusing on what's going well in your life, expressing gratitude, and generally, spreading positive vibes. It takes work (particularly if you don't feel like doing it), but I always find it helpful. Even something as stupid as smiling at a random stranger (as long as they look friendly lol) can lift your spirits.
  • Always have a goal - it's fine to take a break every now and then and just enjoy life, but eventually you'll lose a sense of meaning if you don't have any goals to pursue. For example, some time ago I got interested in filmmaking. Learning a completely new topic can be pretty absorbing and makes life more exciting.
  • Seek fulfillment, not happiness - it sounds strange, but you'll feel happier when you focus on fulfillment than happiness. In other words, you might actually feel better when you allow some suffering in your life (for example, work on a very hard project, go on a long-distance hardcore hike, etc.) than when you focus on pure hedonism (this is particularly true for entrepreneurs who often feel like wasting their lives if they aren't doing anything productive, ideally something that makes money - even if they don't necessarily need it). David Goggins is a good example here - the guy essentially found his meaning in suffering. For most people it's impossible to be as extreme as he is, but there's a lot you can gain by embracing this attitude at least to a small extent.
  • Assess your relationships - people in our life have a big impact on how we feel (duh). Who always makes you feel better after spending time with them? Who always makes you feel worse? Is there anyone (or any potential group of people) who is always so excited, positive, and driven that they "infect" you with it, even if just for a brief moment while you're with them? Also, having a support group of people struggling with the same things is extremely helpful (that's why I'm a part of @Kung Fu Steve's coaching group).
  • Identify the specific moments when you feel good - for me, it's often when I write or do something productive, but I also feel great when practicing various sports. Identifying these moments and then making sure they're a part of your weekly schedule can help, too.
Granted, sometimes nothing works. What I do then is just tell myself that it will eventually pass and that it's okay to feel bad every now and then. Just make sure that you won't make it worse by indulging in the negative emotions too much.

Happy to chat about it more if you're interested. I've been struggling with this for a long time and I know how it feels.

@Kung Fu Steve can probably add something valuable here...
This is really great!

Only thing I would add is gratitude.

Easy to achieve something and say "is this all there is?" instead of being grateful and celebrating what an enormous victory you won.

You should be saying "this was AWESOME... what's next!?"
 

PizzaOnTheRoof

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Sometimes. But what I have figured out is that when feeling like this is comes down to two reasons. One is, losing weight/building wealth/success is based on a warped motivation. You have to ask yourself, are your choices and actions coming from you or based on society's idea of wealth/happiness/value/self-worth? I think when some people decide to better their life they do it partly for themselves because it is good but there are still society's influences in their head. In other words, there is some need for validation lingering in your mind and so your choices about bettering your life are not fully controlled by you. You are not in control of your contentment nor the idea of your personal happiness.

The other is, the dumb idea that you need to chase things. The problem with most people is they have this nagging idea in their head that certain things need to be a certain way in order to be happy and fulfilled. They worry that if they do not have everything they are somehow not complete or happy. It is basically a comparison to other people. People look at their lives and their age and believe they need to be/do/act/possess a certain thing in order to be happy. Again, this is society's influence once again. The truth is, you don't need to have certain things, or just because you are 29/36/49 years old you SHOULD be at a certain stage in your life. I think the number one reason people are unhappy is they perceive falsely how their life SHOULD BE based on comparing their lives to others. In other words, they treat life like a grocery list of things that need to be done by a certain age, rather than focusing on contentment and having control of their life and choices. Life is not some rigid path that must be followed perfectly. That is a bullshit idea in your head.
The mistake people make is they feel like they can't enjoy life or be happy UNTIL they possess something or achieve a certain goal or they have more than everyone. Did you know you can enjoy life and be happy RIGHT NOW? You don't need to wait on happiness or contentment. You don't have to run through life waiting for that moment to be happy and then be old and still not happy because you never understood this. In other words, you are chasing the event. You are treating happiness and fulfullment like an event and not a process. Therefore, you can't live in the present and be happy.
Underrated comment
 

Get Right

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Anyone that's successful ever get into these deep thoughts? Any tips on overcoming them?
Sure, I would presume almost everyone does. A few thoughts for you:

1. Thoughts are just thoughts, sometimes they need to be left alone. Actions make differences, concentrate on those.
2. You are probably too comfortable. Comfort destroys growth, which can lead to your symptoms. Jump out of the safety net and see if you "feel" different.

Hope this helps!
 

Thomas Baptiste

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I recommend reading this book:subtle art of not giving a f*** by Mark Manson. It surely helped me to reevaluate my values and metrics that I used to consider things successes vs failures. It helped to give me a clearly defined path in terms of how to go about achieving happiness and what it really means to be satisfied in life.
 

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2legit2quit

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Lost over 80+ lbs. Put on a ton of muscle. In the best shape of my life. Started a new brand. Doing extremely well. Branching out to more products under the same brand.

BUT...

I don't have a sense of satisfaction... it feels "weird"... like, what am I doing with my life... why?

Anyone that's successful ever get into these deep thoughts? Any tips on overcoming them?
im a noob here, so not sure i should be commenting but... i can really relate to your question. you could be thinking along those lines for multiple reasons, really depends what you've been through, and for how long your train of thinking has been like that.

the irony is i think, we are on this forum (for example) because we are searching for happiness, improvement, etc, so we can feel 'happy'. maybe as someone else said, 'contentment' and gratitude is a more wise state. with every up or good, may be a 'down', being even keeled and 'content' and 'present' may be a more desirable 'state' to be in.

giving back also tends to make one's life feel worth living, there is a book on depression on audible where the author talks about this exact thing, and compares collectivist vs individualist societies in terms of happiness, and perhaps why in 'modern societies' which tend to be more individualistic have higher rates of depression.

lastly, to validate your line of thinking, perhaps this is your souls way of pushing you towards finding some 'truth' of 'reality', your inclination for searching for something greater than yourself, or something more. i would say, it is not something to feel bummed out about. 'whats the point' vs 'what are my emotions/needs/body telling me that it currently does not have, that it needs' may be a more useful perspective.

these questions are completely normal, and are your souls way of pushing you to grow now, not just materialistically. maybe this is your next progression?

may sound hoo-haa to some, take it or leave it! my $0.02.

if i may ask, what is a sense of satisfaction to you, how does it feel, and how does what you feel now, not feel like a sense of satisfaction? if you are able to find the answer to that - why do you think you feel this way?

do you really have what you want/need, or you think 'i should feel satisfied because i have achieved a b c d e'?
 

JunkBoxJoey_JBJ

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