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Loss after Loss, help!

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Anything related to matters of the mind

ChrisGav

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Feb 15, 2019
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Yo guys,

it's been a while since I've been on here, but have been struggling a lot recently. I have jumped into real estate full time, and in the past year, I have acquired 30 rental properties, with my latest being an apartment complex. I'm currently flipping 3 houses, and do a lot of real estate wholesaling. My issue recently has been deals are constantly falling apart, expenses running higher than expected, and quite frankly, it seems every time I turn around it's more problems. I've found myself wondering recently, "is this really the right path for me"?

Ironically enough, I've done big things in 1 year and have accomplished a lot, however I get bogged down in the micro and deals falling apart. How do you cope with multiple failures at one time? To give you an idea, over the past 24 hours, I've had 2 deals fall apart that was supposed to be $11,500 in profit, an unexpected expense at the apartments ($3,000). It's the days like these where you say what the hell am I doing?

How do you guys embrace this? How do you learn to roll with these punches and still get back up?
 
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Eudaimonium

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Jun 8, 2017
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Maybe you are taking the potential deals for granted? It's not a deal until all is said and done, and the money has been paid. If the deal can be reversed, it's not yet a done deal.
 

Ronak

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There are going to be ups and downs in business, whether you're starting up, or a billionaire. When you're in the weeds, it can seem a lot more catastrophic. Sometimes you get a series of wins. Sometimes you hit a bad streak. They don't always come neatly or evenly.

Don't give in to your own biases, the reality is you lost a potential 12k and an actual 3k. But you picked up 30 units. I'd take that trade any day of the week. Take a breather for a day or two if you need it. But please don't sabotage your success...stay the course, this too shall pass.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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I've been in front of thousands of people lately who are just "burnt out" (their words, not mine).

I try to explain that the feeling of burnout -- especially for high achievers like yourself -- comes from one thing:

Nothing pisses off high achievers more than when you work harder and get less.

... the challenge is, even though we understand that intellectually, we say "well, that's a nice saying, but I guess I'll just work harder."

it's been a while since I've been on here, but have been struggling a lot recently. I have jumped into real estate full time, and in the past year, I have acquired 30 rental properties, with my latest being an apartment complex. I'm currently flipping 3 houses, and do a lot of real estate wholesaling. My issue recently has been deals are constantly falling apart, expenses running higher than expected, and quite frankly, it seems every time I turn around it's more problems. I've found myself wondering recently, "is this really the right path for me"?'

So there are 2 pieces, if I can be so bold:

1. The emotional piece.

What's wrong is always available, but so is what's right. Seek and ye shall find. If you focus on everything that's going wrong, everything that isn't swinging your way, everything you could of had but didn't get -- it's no wonder you feel like shit (occasionally).

But my man... do you know how many people in this world would kill for the level of success you have already achieved?

You had a rough 24-hours... you can't have the peaks without the valleys... but brother... you now have 30 rental properties... flipping 3 houses... AND you're still doing wholesaling!?

... and you're worried about TWO deals out of those dozens?

I'm not saying it didn't hurt. I'm not saying it didn't suck. But brother -- if you're only going to focus on what's going wrong with your life and your business, no amount of success will ever make you happy.

Can you have wins without losses?

Can you have light without dark?

This is not the first time you've lost a deal, or things didn't go your way. Shit -- it's real estate, man. It's going to get way crazier before it calms down.


Ironically enough, I've done big things in 1 year and have accomplished a lot, however I get bogged down in the micro and deals falling apart. How do you cope with multiple failures at one time? To give you an idea, over the past 24 hours, I've had 2 deals fall apart that was supposed to be $11,500 in profit, an unexpected expense at the apartments ($3,000). It's the days like these where you say what the hell am I doing?

How do you guys embrace this? How do you learn to roll with these punches and still get back up?

Be careful with your language. "Multiple failures" -- be honest. It was TWO. Don't use stronger language to amplify the pain. It was ONLY two deals (out of THIRTY THREE!).

And you know the game, man. Water heaters go out. That's the cost of doing business in that world.

Which leads me to...

2. The strategy

You seem to have this stuff down. Way better than I do. But the strategist is the one who identifies what went wrong so they can prepare for it in the future.

Sometimes nothing went wrong. It was just the roll of the dice.

Out of curiosity (and I don't mean this as a slight) ... do you expect to have a 100% success rate in real estate?

Maybe there IS something a little off in your budgeting strategy. It would be an intelligent move to see "okay, why was this expense unexpected. What can we do in the future to fix it -- or at least catch it before it becomes a problem?"

The 2 deals that fell through, I'm assuming it was wholesaling. In that case, could you have used a different realtor? Communicate with the seller better? Or were these deals going to fall apart no matter what you did?

Give yourself a little credit, man. 33 out of 35 deals is a ridiculous success rate.

Get grateful for what you've already achieved.

When you're feeling down, move your body. You can't solve problems in the same emotional state in which they were created.

Finally, get laser-focused on your outcome. What do you want? What do you REALLY want?

And obviously, get back out there and take massive action.
 

Bigguns50

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2. The strategy
Great advice @Kung Fu Steve ! I'd like to expand on the strategy side as it has helped me immensely.

I can only tell you what's worked for me. I journal. Obsessively. I love journaling about Strategy.

Even though I'm busy as Hell, I take the time to do this.
What it does for me:
  • Allows me to keep my eye on the bigger picture and goals.
  • Investigate my competition.
  • Investigate overall trends that are or could be related to my business that will benefit people.
  • Allows me to see opportunities I didn't see before.
  • Helps keep me motivated and organized. There's no way I can keep all the thoughts and ideas in my head, so I write.
There's probably more.

So how do I do this? Maybe this will help if you choose to journal.

I start with an end goal. ie: I want to sell my existing business in 12 months. I work backward to the present moment.

I'm starting a new, really hard business so I keep everything in one journal for this. Contacts, websites, manufacturers, Zoom meeting notes, and more. I discover problems and solutions this way. I also note what worked and what failed and why.

It seems you've had some amazing success so far! Congratulation on this!

Things have fallen apart for me as well. It happens. When it does, I ask myself(and write it down):
  • Why did this happen?
  • Could I have prevented this?
  • What can I do, if anything, so it doesn't happen again?
  • Do I need help from someone?
  • Am I overlooking something?
  • Do I need to adjust my strategy?
Hope this helps. Keep going!!!!
 

Kung Fu Steve

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Great advice @Kung Fu Steve ! I'd like to expand on the strategy side as it has helped me immensely.

I can only tell you what's worked for me. I journal. Obsessively. I love journaling about Strategy.

Even though I'm busy as Hell, I take the time to do this.
What it does for me:
  • Allows me to keep my eye on the bigger picture and goals.
  • Investigate my competition.
  • Investigate overall trends that are or could be related to my business that will benefit people.
  • Allows me to see opportunities I didn't see before.
  • Helps keep me motivated and organized. There's no way I can keep all the thoughts and ideas in my head, so I write.
There's probably more.

So how do I do this? Maybe this will help if you choose to journal.

I start with an end goal. ie: I want to sell my existing business in 12 months. I work backward to the present moment.

I'm starting a new, really hard business so I keep everything in one journal for this. Contacts, websites, manufacturers, Zoom meeting notes, and more. I discover problems and solutions this way. I also note what worked and what failed and why.

It seems you've had some amazing success so far! Congratulation on this!

Things have fallen apart for me as well. It happens. When it does, I ask myself(and write it down):
  • Why did this happen?
  • Could I have prevented this?
  • What can I do, if anything, so it doesn't happen again?
  • Do I need help from someone?
  • Am I overlooking something?
  • Do I need to adjust my strategy?
Hope this helps. Keep going!!!!

p.s. when are you coming up to the cities next? hit me up when you come by let's do lunch or dinner or whatever!
 

BizyDad

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How do you guys embrace this? How do you learn to roll with these punches and still get back up?

I have a thought process when I face stuff like this. Goes like this:

If I quit now, what will my life look like a year from now?

Based on the answer - do I want to quit?

If the answer is yes (it rarely is) - I quit and move on feeling empowered for taking control of my life.

If the answer is no - I remind myself that I made the choices that got me here. I'm a grown man, and I signed up for this. I've had my pity party, but it's done now, it's time to go solve problems.

This process usually takes 2 minutes, but sometimes it'll take a whole day.

It used to take weeks, so I'm making progress. Regardless of the outcome, I always end up feeling more convinced of the path I'm on, and more empowered to achieve what I need to achieve.

It's like facing challenges and overcoming them remind me that I'm capable of facing challenges and overcoming them...
 

Antifragile

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Yo guys,

it's been a while since I've been on here, but have been struggling a lot recently. I have jumped into real estate full time, and in the past year, I have acquired 30 rental properties, with my latest being an apartment complex. I'm currently flipping 3 houses, and do a lot of real estate wholesaling. My issue recently has been deals are constantly falling apart, expenses running higher than expected, and quite frankly, it seems every time I turn around it's more problems. I've found myself wondering recently, "is this really the right path for me"?

Ironically enough, I've done big things in 1 year and have accomplished a lot, however I get bogged down in the micro and deals falling apart. How do you cope with multiple failures at one time? To give you an idea, over the past 24 hours, I've had 2 deals fall apart that was supposed to be $11,500 in profit, an unexpected expense at the apartments ($3,000). It's the days like these where you say what the hell am I doing?

How do you guys embrace this? How do you learn to roll with these punches and still get back up?

I am confused. What is your business? Apartments fix and flip? What are you wholesaling? The reference to $11,500 seems out of place for real estate deals.

I am in RE and we evaluate anywhere between 30 to 60 deals before buying a site.

@SteveO was in the apartment space for years, he can probably help.
 

SteveO

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Thanks for the tag @Antifragile .

Not every deal is going to make a lot of money at first. Every deal will be a learning experience though.

Cashflow was never what I hoped it would be. I quit investing for cashflow and switched to buy and sell for chunks of money. Worked better for me. Capital and unexpected expenses never stop.

I could determine costs x dollars per unit, y dollars for fix up and hold, and should be able to sell for z dollars.

All you are learning now should set you up.

I look at what people are paying these days and wonder how much money they are losing. Ever consider selling some or most and restarting down the road?
 
Last edited:

SteveO

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I just read your post again. The trick is to relax and go with the flow. Keep learning. Realize that no business is easy. Some people make it look that way but challenges never quit. Your outlook will depend on how you view things.
 

Raven S

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Oct 19, 2021
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I have no experience with your field of expertice what so ever. But I think its worth remembering that with many things in life, there just isn't a way to stop failures from happening. And all your left with, is your midset, and how it responds to the failures. It does feel like to me, that your stuck in a fixed midset (dweck) here, trying to "master your game without failures" while forgetting that, you can't. The flow your "sensing" and wanting, is found in the growth mindset, that sees every setback as important knowledge for the future.

A huge inspiration for me, is this guy =) - perhaps he can cheer you up too, on days when it seems like shit is getting way to close to the fan.
View: https://youtu.be/uQccAatNTFI
 

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