Lex DeVille's: 15 Days to Freedom - Make Money Copywriting in 15 Days or Less

[Tenu]

starting all over again .
Day 2
Headlines:-
Show Off Your Carpet Now With This Carpet Washer
Improve Copy And Be Confident? Get This Course Now!
Be Happy and Healthy With Kefir!
Get Through Your Day With More Energy, ShroomLife!
Are You Suffering From Shoulder Pain? Get This Therapy Kit Now While It Lasts

 

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[Tenu]

Day 3 Headlines and Paragraph
Face Winter And Look Good With This Jacket
XYZ Cooling Stand: Cool Your Laptop And Be At Ease
Nootropil: Get Smarter And Revise Faster
Hate Cold Toes? Wear This Bad Boy!
Amazon:Get Anything And Delivered For You

 

[Lex DeVille]

Day 3 Headlines and Paragraph
Face Winter And Look Good With This Jacket
XYZ Cooling Stand: Cool Your Laptop And Be At Ease
Nootropil: Get Smarter And Revise Faster
Hate Cold Toes? Wear This Bad Boy!
Amazon:Get Anything And Delivered For You

These need to be more specific. Right now they're too vague, meaning they're not really targeting anyone in particular. If they don't target anyone, they won't grab attention.

For instance:

Amazon: Get Anything And Delivered For You

What is "Anything?"
Who can get anything?
What can they get?
When is it delivered?
How is it delivered?
Why should they care?

 

[Tenu]

These need to be more specific. Right now they're too vague, meaning they're not really targeting anyone in particular. If they don't target anyone, they won't grab attention.

For instance:

Amazon: Get Anything And Delivered For You

What is "Anything?"
Who can get anything?
What can they get?
When is it delivered?
How is it delivered?
Why should they care?

Thanks for the Feedback
The problem was that I didn't give attention to the questions. How do I target when the demographic is general?
I am stuck
Amazon: Shop Without Leaving Your Home

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Thanks for the Feedback
The problem was that I didn't give attention to the questions. How do I target when the demographic is general?
I am stuck
Amazon: Shop Without Leaving Your Home

The demographic is never general. If your demographic is general it means you didn't do enough research into your target audience. There's no such thing as a general demographic. Everyone buys toilet paper, but specific people buy Charmin or Angel Soft or Quilted Northern and each one markets to someone different in their own unique ways.

 

[Tenu]

The demographic is never general. If your demographic is general it means you didn't do enough research into your target audience. There's no such thing as a general demographic. Everyone buys toilet paper, but specific people buy Charmin or Angel Soft or Quilted Northern and each one markets to someone different in their own unique ways.

I understand now
Thanks
Going to repeat day 3

 

[Tenu]

KetoLife: Lose Fat And Still Eat Fatty Foods That You Love

EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier: Removes Damp And Combats Germs For A Safer Home

Is this an improvement?

 

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[Lex DeVille]

KetoLife: Lose Fat And Still Eat Fatty Foods That You Love

EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier: Removes Damp And Combats Germs For A Safer Home

Is this an improvement?

Slightly. It's more specific, but still not clear who you're marketing to.

Look at this simple adjustment:

KetoLife: Fatties Lose Fat While Eating Foods You Love

Now it targets someone...anyone who considers their self a fatty. You can go more specific than this to make it clear what age-range, gender, status etc. you're reaching out to.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Slightly. It's more specific, but still not clear who you're marketing to.

Look at this simple adjustment:

KetoLife: Fatties Lose Fat While Eating Foods You Love

Now it targets someone...anyone who considers their self a fatty. You can go more specific than this to make it clear what age-range, gender, status etc. you're reaching out to.

One thing I've noticed in my studying of copy (thanks for all the insights you've left on this forum @SinisterLex ) is that copy typically drops unnecessary words and punctuation.

So this sentence: KetoLife: Fatties Lose Fat While Eating Foods You Love is grammatically and structurally incorrect. No problem, I get that. It reads smoothly and has emotional sway.

However,

Is it a good idea to add a negative into copy? The word "fatties" implies a negative...is that effective?

I came up with: Ketolife: Lose Fat! Look Great! Eat the Foods You Love!

??????

 

[MidwestLandlord]

EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier: Removes Damp And Combats Germs For A Safer Home

Asthma? Our anti-bacteria filter kills airborne bacteria on contact.
Allergies? Our anti-bacteria filter kills airborne bacteria on contact.
Control hazardous mold in your home with the EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier.
Stay healthy this flu season with the EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier. Our anti-bacteria filter kills airborne bacteria on contact.
Soggy basement? Take control with the EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier.

Am I close?

 

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[Nicoknowsbest]

Control hazardous mold in your home with the EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier.

You inspired me now

Since I've been writing copy all day, I'll give it a shot too:

Remove Health-Threatening Mold Spores, Save Money On Home Repairs And Breathe Clean Air - With The Push Of Just One Button.

The EcoAir DD12 Dehumidifier.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

KetoLife: Lose Fat And Still Eat Fatty Foods That You Love

KetoLife: The Proven Method to Look Great and Feel Great. Take Control. Lose Fat. Start the New Year Right with KetoLife.

KetoLife: Real Food for Real People. Lose Fat. Look Great. Start the New Year Right with KetoLife.

I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, only been studying copy for a week lol.

 

[Brian Graham]

Thank you for these posts! I never realized I could make money in this way and have begun practicing after seeing some of your posts. I also just signed up for Upwork.

 

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[Tenu]

KetoLife: The Proven Method to Look Great and Feel Great. Take Control. Lose Fat. Start the New Year Right with KetoLife.

KetoLife: Real Food for Real People. Lose Fat. Look Great. Start the New Year Right with KetoLife.

I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, only been studying copy for a week lol.

Thanks for the info. What day are you on?

 

[Lex DeVille]

Is it a good idea to add a negative into copy? The word "fatties" implies a negative...is that effective?

Use what works. That's what's effective. I used fatties as an example. I wouldn't recommend it unless it matched your overall brand message, which I doubt is the case for something like Ketolife

 

[Tenu]

Slightly. It's more specific, but still not clear who you're marketing to.

Look at this simple adjustment:

KetoLife: Fatties Lose Fat While Eating Foods You Love

Now it targets someone...anyone who considers their self a fatty. You can go more specific than this to make it clear what age-range, gender, status etc. you're reaching out to.

Yep I am keeping leaving the target .

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Thanks for the info. What day are you on?

I'm not following any particular course or whatever. Just reading here, articles on find on google, and the like. I had an "Impact" magazine delivered to my house the other day, full of local ads for my area. I took a sharpie and rewrote the copy I thought were no good. Fun stuff.

Use what works. That's what's effective. I used fatties as an example. I wouldn't recommend it unless it matched your overall brand message, which I doubt is the case for something like Ketolife

Makes perfect sense, thanks.

 

[Tenu]

I'm not following any particular course or whatever. Just reading here, articles on find on google, and the like. I had an "Impact" magazine delivered to my house the other day, full of local ads for my area. I took a sharpie and rewrote the copy I thought were no good. Fun stuff.



Makes perfect sense, thanks.

Thats a good way to practise

 

[Lex DeVille]

I'm not following any particular course or whatever. Just reading here, articles on find on google, and the like. I had an "Impact" magazine delivered to my house the other day, full of local ads for my area. I took a sharpie and rewrote the copy I thought were no good. Fun stuff.



Makes perfect sense, thanks.

Also I would add that sometimes it's important to add a negative. I don't like to plant negative thoughts and ideas in a customer's mind, so I typically avoid saying things like, "If you don't like it you can have your money back" or "If you're not satisfied" etc.

But sometimes a negative is exactly what you need to agitate a pain. If I say they look thin and fit it might make them feel good temporarily, but it won't make them feel the pain which is the reason they visited my page in the first place.

Calling someone a fatty might sound mean, but if it's true and if their weight is likely to cause their death in the next month due to heart disease if they don't solve their problem, then it's important they feel that pain. Otherwise you're doing them and yourself a disservice because if they don't realize the severity of the problem, they won't take action to solve it.

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Also I would add that sometimes it's important to add a negative. I don't like to plant negative thoughts and ideas in a customer's mind, so I typically avoid saying things like, "If you don't like it you can have your money back" or "If you're not satisfied" etc.

Which is why I see "100% Satisfaction Guaranteed" instead of your example of a negative "If you're not satisfied"

Got it. Don't want to plant that negative thought of "Well, now that you mention it, I'm NOT satisfied"

It sets the tone of trust and quality.

Calling someone a fatty might sound mean, but if it's true and if their weight is likely to cause their death in the next month due to heart disease if they don't solve their problem, then it's important they feel that pain. Otherwise you're doing them and yourself a disservice.

Seems like using a negative in copy can be effective, but maybe difficult to do well? I'll have to find a real life example and see what emotions it stirs up in me.

In your example, you followed the negative of "fatties" with "lose fat" and "while eating the foods you love" which hits on their desire to succeed in the goal of losing weight, but also the desire to not make sacrifices, which are both a positive...

 

[Tenu]

10 EASY Tips to Gain More Muscle In Less Time To Look More POWERFUL

Amazing Secret To Make Six Figures In Four Weeks Revealed By A Teenager!

How You Can Easily Eliminate Insomnia With Just Electricity, No Need For Pills!



Is this specific enough ?

 

[GuestUser4aMPs1]

On ~Day 4, wrote out Upwork Bio following the guidelines of this thread.

For Context...
I Sell Custom Music Composition & Sound Design Services for Film Projects, Video Games, and Advertising (Jingles).

Market:
Game Developers, Filmmakers, Advertisers (although looking back, the copy doesn't sell to them.)

What Do They Want? (Desire):
Creative Expression. The Inherent feeling of Accomplishment/Achievement from creating a masterpiece that they are proud of.

Why Do They Want It? (Emotion):
Realization of their Vision. Creative types are often plagued with grand vision, and always have to fight the friction of getting it from their heads into the real world. My services help ease the friction.

-----------------------
ORCHESTRATE YOUR VISION:

Bring your Creative Work to Life with the Thunderous Roar of Music!
Imagine Captivating your Audience with Stunning Harmony,
The Enthralling Sounds of Special Effects, or that
Theme Song you Can't Stop Humming.

Whatever your Creative Project - From Film to Video Games, and
Whatever the Application - From Orchestral Composition, Jingles, or Sound Design,
Count on Leaving a Truly Unforgettable Impression.

If you want to
Unleash your Masterpiece Today, and
Create the Legacy of a Lifetime,
Let's Talk.

Looking Forward to Hearing From you Soon!
------------------------

Feedback is welcome. And massive props to @SinisterLex for this thread.
I'm not into selling copywriting services, but I read this thread almost daily and it helps keep me on track.
Significantly helpful for ANYONE...
...So, you can't communicate value to a prospect?
You don't sell. And you don't eat.

 

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[Tenu]

Day 3
3 Ways You Can Get RID Of Cold Toes Instantly
Amazing New Discovery That Adds 2Okg Of Muscle Within 4 Weeks Revealed By Scienticist
10 Simple Ways To Save Money And Still Dress Well Without Feeling Cheap
1 Reason Why Beginner Copywriters Fail And What You Can Do About It

The Ultimate Guide For Men To Lose Weight And Gain Muscle FAST

Havent you got sick of these programs that dont show the results you need?
Always finding and trying the best way to maximise results?
Is this You? Don't Worry.
There is a way backed by scientific evidence to get the body you want.

Now You can get the results you want without sacrifcing your favourite foods.
No More 5-6 Days At The Gym.
No More 6 Meals A Day
What you have heard of buidling muscle and losing fat is a LIE!

Please, picture yourself for a moment having a greek god physique and getting attention from the ladies
And not worrying about taking your shirt off!

Click here now to get your body and your confidence​

 

[IchiBan]

10 EASY Tips to Gain More Muscle In Less Time To Look More POWERFUL

Teenager Reveals Amazing Secret To Make Six Figures In Four Weeks!

How's this:
Teen Makes $100,000 Every Month Reveals Her Secret!

There's something about exact numbers that seems more... powerful.

 

[Lex DeVille]

There's something about exact numbers that seems more... powerful.

Yup, it's specificity.

The devil is in the details.

 

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[IchiBan]

Yup, it's specificity.

The devil is in the details.

That's the word.

By the way, there was offer where the client specifically asked for a 300 word essay on the proposer. (who are they, life story, why they qualify etc) .
I tried to figure out how I could twist it to come up with how I could help them, but all that came to mind would have wound up being exactly the opposite of what you recommended.

Is there a way that you can approach writing about yourself without coming off as a sleazy salesman, some beggar, a tryhard etc?

 

[IchiBan]

Man, I've read, reread, and re-reread the first post so many times. It seems so easy, but it's surprisingly hard to follow it's simple advice. Just goes to show how deep rooted some psychological beliefs are.


Anyway, day 2's These may not all be necessarily selling products,

DAY 2:

1. Need Seed, Feed Or to De-weed? John's Farming Supplies: GUARANTEED to Have WHATEVER You Need!
2. Don't Be An Idiot; Don't Drink And Drive. -- Road Safety campaign ad
3. He’s Into You, Stupid! 5 Signs he's Sending That You're Missing -- Teen girl Magazine Article
4. Starting Small, Thinking Big: Secrets of The Millionaire Dollar Path (Self-help book)
5. FANTASTIC OFFER: Brand New 2017 Macbook Pro 17'': Only $799

 

[Tenu]

Making my upwork account now ! Since I have no experience in copywriting do I set my hourly rate to 0?

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Making my upwork account now ! Since I have no experience in copywriting do I set my hourly rate to 0?

$5/hr. You want to start low, not free.

Then build up to higher amounts.

 

[Tenu]

$5/hr. You want to start low, not free.

Then build up to higher amounts.

Thanks man!