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Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.
 

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I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.

Yes I did see and read it.

Welcome to the lonesome road of entrepreneurship and enforcement of the Slowlane road.

Done is the only thing that can convert doubters.

Welcome my friend.
 

WJK

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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me bettWer.
When this happens, just reply, "You might be right." Then go on with your program. Your job does NOT include changing their point of view. That change might happen over time. This is a show-and-tell operation. Yes, show them through example. Be successful. But, even that probably won't change their minds. Now when I meet people who knew me back then -- they tell me how lucky I am. They don't see the hard work. They don't see how I have become successful. So, that's when I reply, "You might be right." Then I go on...
 

Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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When this happens, just reply, "You might be right." Then go on with your program. Your job does NOT include changing their point of view. That change might happen over time. This is a show-and-tell operation. Yes, show them through example. Be successful. But, even that probably won't change their minds. Now when I meet people who knew me back then -- they tell me how lucky I am. They don't see the hard work. They don't see how I have become successful. So, that's when I reply, "You might be right." Then I go on...
I learned a lot in that 30 min conversation , than I learned reading, and listening about those scenarios, thank you.
 

WJK

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I learned a lot in that 30 min conversation , than I learned reading, and listening about those scenarios, thank you.
You thought they would support you in your business quests. You forgot that you talking to people who don't want to know how the sausage is made. Unlike you, they don't want the head seat at the table. They just want a chair at that table where you share your sausage. IF they acknowledge your success, then they must also admit that they can do it too. It's a choice they have made. So, by being willfully blind, they protect themselves from feeling like they are less than you. Knowing that, be kind. Get up and go on...
 

Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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You thought they would support you in your business quests. You forgot that you talking to people who don't want to know how the sausage is made. Unlike you, they don't want the head seat at the table. They just want a chair at that table where you share your sausage. IF they acknowledge your success, then they must also admit that they can do it too. It's a choice they have made. So, by being willfully blind, they protect themselves from feeling like they are less than you. Knowing that, be kind. Get up and go on...
Means a lot, great words, ill remember that.
 

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They could be trying to protect you from what they perceive as a wrong move.

Years ago my dad was worried when I was planning to buy another rental property. I walked him through my spreadsheet model and he was no longer worried.


Other times people will give well meaning advice. You don’t have to explain or justify yourself. You can smile and nod “ok” or use @WJK ’s “maybe you’re right” (I like this… it’s less passive-aggressive than my norm).


You don’t have to be lonely. Anyone forging their own path won’t see the herd. But you will find others heading in the same direction - this forum is full of kindred spirits for instance.
 

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Here’s some ammunition for you.

Businesses don’t just appear. Someone starts them. Every single one of your family works, either directly or indirectly, for a business, unless they’re a parasitic loser.

It’s not luck. It is a decision and sacrifice.

This is ultimately why the truly wealthy run in wealthy circles.
 
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Antifragile

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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.

Which podcast taught you about announcing your big goals to the world?

Trust me, I’ve been there, some 20 years ago… and it did not go well the first time. Not the meeting with family and friend when I shared my thoughts and ambitions, but the first business (and the 2nd and the 3rd…). I later heard “I told you so”. Yup, that hurt even more. I learned from that to do my goal planning privately. Just a thought. Good luck.

P.S. Once you succeed, you’ll have another problem: people will see you as either lucky or a money bag. So it helps to choose which relatives you spend time with (and choose your friends wisely).
 

Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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Which podcast taught you about announcing your big goals to the world?

Trust me, I’ve been there, some 20 years ago… and it did not go well the first time. Not the meeting with family and friend when I shared my thoughts and ambitions, but the first business (and the 2nd and the 3rd…). I later heard “I told you so”. Yup, that hurt even more. I learned from that to do my goal planning privately. Just a thought. Good luck.

P.S. Once you succeed, you’ll have another problem: people will see you as either lucky or a money bag. So it helps to choose which relatives you spend time with (and choose your friends wisely).
Noted, appreciate it a lot.
 

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Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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They could be trying to protect you from what they perceive as a wrong move.

Years ago my dad was worried when I was planning to buy another rental property. I walked him through my spreadsheet model and he was no longer worried.


Other times people will give well meaning advice. You don’t have to explain or justify yourself. You can smile and nod “ok” or use @WJK ’s “maybe you’re right” (I like this… it’s less passive-aggressive than my norm).


You don’t have to be lonely. Anyone forging their own path won’t see the herd. But you will find others heading in the same direction - this forum is full of kindred spirits for instance.
Thank you for that, I appreciate your time, and words.
 

jdm667

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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.
I hear you. This is spot on. It is a lonely journey sometimes.

I often listen to friends or family talk about how they want a new job. When they find one, they think "this will be the one".

They inevitably end up dissatisfied, and they start searching for another shiny new job.

Sure, I could explain to them that working on your own business gives you something that a job never could.

I don't do it though. I think you have to be ready (via an FTE) to start.

They might never be ready, and you just have to accept that.
 

Ing

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Long years I very seldom met people, who, when I told them about my ideas, said „cool“ „ that could work“ or something not negative.

Long time I thought, that would be people, who don’t interest for me and my plans and only say yes and amen to get rid of me.

In retrospect I see them as the diamonds of my self planned life.

I m not in the fastline, but I now allways try to be such a „diamond“ in someone’s life.

Look for your „diamonds „, and help others to feel better. They are on a different road.
 

WJK

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Means a lot, great words, ill remember that.
To continue the analogy, the reason you are feeling alone is because there is only one seat at the head of the table, and that's your whole world. That seat sets you apart from the rest of the other people seated along the sides. And they will reject you if you try to join them. The others will tell you how smart you are and then have nothing to do with you unless they want something from you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's usually true.

It usually works like this -- this rejection can be seen when a one of their members breaks ranks by "besting" them. For example, he is promoted from being a guy on the line to being a supervisor. At that point, he is no longer welcome to drink beers with his old circle of pals. He is both ejected from their ranks and socially rejected. Some people at this point screw up the new job and return to their old pals. After telling him that they knew he'd never make the new job work, they welcome him back.

Others accept their new social situation and create a new circle of friends. Each level of accomplishment or different social situation requires a new circle of friends. That has been my experience over the years. At times, I have had my toe in several different worlds at the same time. I call it "creating spheres of influence". I collect different circles of friend for different aspects of my life. I move between those groups depending on what I'm doing that day. If you too can create some support circles, you too will feel less alone.
 

FritsFlitsFstlne

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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.
Thrust me, he will see this ! Enjoy the moment and use their negative energy as fuel to kickstart your efforts!
 

Dmusic

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To continue the analogy, the reason you are feeling alone is because there is only one seat at the head of the table, and that's your whole world. That seat sets you apart from the rest of the other people seated along the sides. And they will reject you if you try to join them. The others will tell you how smart you are and then have nothing to do with you unless they want something from you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's usually true.

It usually works like this -- this rejection can be seen when a one of their members breaks ranks by "besting" them. For example, he is promoted from being a guy on the line to being a supervisor. At that point, he is no longer welcome to drink beers with his old circle of pals. He is both ejected from their ranks and socially rejected. Some people at this point screw up the new job and return to their old pals. After telling him that they knew he'd never make the new job work, they welcome him back.

Others accept their new social situation and create a new circle of friends. Each level of accomplishment or different social situation requires a new circle of friends. That has been my experience over the years. At times, I have had my toe in several different worlds at the same time. I call it "creating spheres of influence". I collect different circles of friend for different aspects of my life. I move between those groups depending on what I'm doing that day. If you too can create some support circles, you too will feel less alone.
Again, thank you, for this advice.
 

Makko

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We might feel lonely but we are never alone... at least here.

I had the same situation happen to me when I decided to pursue entrepreneurship as my end goal. Everyone disagreed:
"You need a college degree!"
"You are going to regret it!"
"It's very risky"

No words of encouragement. All I heard was "You won't make it. Do something within your capacity like going to college and work until you die."

The only person that didn't oppose my decision? My dad who is a CEO (and no, he doesn't support me financially)

Whenever you feel lonely and want to quit, remember we are also grinding, too!
 

MJ DeMarco

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To continue the analogy, the reason you are feeling alone is because there is only one seat at the head of the table, and that's your whole world. That seat sets you apart from the rest of the other people seated along the sides. And they will reject you if you try to join them. The others will tell you how smart you are and then have nothing to do with you unless they want something from you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's usually true.

It usually works like this -- this rejection can be seen when a one of their members breaks ranks by "besting" them. For example, he is promoted from being a guy on the line to being a supervisor. At that point, he is no longer welcome to drink beers with his old circle of pals. He is both ejected from their ranks and socially rejected. Some people at this point screw up the new job and return to their old pals. After telling him that they knew he'd never make the new job work, they welcome him back.

Others accept their new social situation and create a new circle of friends. Each level of accomplishment or different social situation requires a new circle of friends. That has been my experience over the years. At times, I have had my toe in several different worlds at the same time. I call it "creating spheres of influence". I collect different circles of friend for different aspects of my life. I move between those groups depending on what I'm doing that day. If you too can create some support circles, you too will feel less alone.

Sage advice. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here over the years.
 

Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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We might feel lonely but we are never alone... at least here.

I had the same situation happen to me when I decided to pursue entrepreneurship as my end goal. Everyone disagreed:
"You need a college degree!"
"You are going to regret it!"
"It's very risky"

No words of encouragement. All I heard was "You won't make it. Do something within your capacity like going to college and work until you die."

The only person that didn't oppose my decision? My dad who is a CEO (and no, he doesn't support me financially)

Whenever you feel lonely and want to quit, remember we are also grinding, too!
Awesome to hear man, It motivated me a lot more than I can explain after that moment in time with them. Thank you.
 

Makko

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To continue the analogy, the reason you are feeling alone is because there is only one seat at the head of the table, and that's your whole world. That seat sets you apart from the rest of the other people seated along the sides. And they will reject you if you try to join them. The others will tell you how smart you are and then have nothing to do with you unless they want something from you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's usually true.

It usually works like this -- this rejection can be seen when a one of their members breaks ranks by "besting" them. For example, he is promoted from being a guy on the line to being a supervisor. At that point, he is no longer welcome to drink beers with his old circle of pals. He is both ejected from their ranks and socially rejected. Some people at this point screw up the new job and return to their old pals. After telling him that they knew he'd never make the new job work, they welcome him back.

Others accept their new social situation and create a new circle of friends. Each level of accomplishment or different social situation requires a new circle of friends. That has been my experience over the years. At times, I have had my toe in several different worlds at the same time. I call it "creating spheres of influence". I collect different circles of friend for different aspects of my life. I move between those groups depending on what I'm doing that day. If you too can create some support circles, you too will feel less alone.
That's interesting...

Climbing up the social ranks is a good way to distinguish who your real friends are.

This is off topic but It's nice to see someone from Alaska. I lived in Kodiak, AK for nearly 10 years.
 

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WJK

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That's interesting...

Climbing up the social ranks is a good way to distinguish who your real friends are.

This is off topic but It's nice to see someone from Alaska. I lived in Kodiak, AK for nearly 10 years.
Hey, I'm on the Kenai.
 

floridaman

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People are usually speaking from fear when they give their opinion on starting a business or entrepreneurship. I always encourage people to start something and am positive about the general path, however I will sometimes ask questions and give some specific feedback/direction around something that would help or something they should avoid. In your story, they sounded generally against the entire path.

The one that bothers me the most when you tell people about what you're gonna do, is they'll say "you know...it ain't easy." Or "Yeah it's really tough, you gotta work really hard." No shit! So is being broke and/or miserable.
 

Dmusic

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Aug 17, 2021
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People are usually speaking from fear when they give their opinion on starting a business or entrepreneurship. I always encourage people to start something and am positive about the general path, however I will sometimes ask questions and give some specific feedback/direction around something that would help or something they should avoid. In your story, they sounded generally against the entire path.

The one that bothers me the most when you tell people about what you're gonna do, is they'll say "you know...it ain't easy." Or "Yeah it's really tough, you gotta work really hard." No shit! So is being broke and/or miser
People are usually speaking from fear when they give their opinion on starting a business or entrepreneurship. I always encourage people to start something and am positive about the general path, however I will sometimes ask questions and give some specific feedback/direction around something that would help or something they should avoid. In your story, they sounded generally against the entire path.

The one that bothers me the most when you tell people about what you're gonna do, is they'll say "you know...it ain't easy." Or "Yeah it's really tough, you gotta work really hard." No shit! So is being broke and/or miserable.
Exactly, thank you man.
 

NewManRising

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It amazes me how family and friends settle for the least possible in life. They always aim low and then try to drag you down in their mediocrity when you talk about aiming high in life.

It is literally exhausting fighting them off constantly. This is what I deal with too. I don't talk about it but I find that most people always want to control your time and energy. This is especially true with family that somehow thinks you're enslaved to them and you're not allowed to pursue your dreams.
 

NewManRising

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People are usually speaking from fear when they give their opinion on starting a business or entrepreneurship. I always encourage people to start something and am positive about the general path, however I will sometimes ask questions and give some specific feedback/direction around something that would help or something they should avoid. In your story, they sounded generally against the entire path.

The one that bothers me the most when you tell people about what you're gonna do, is they'll say "you know...it ain't easy." Or "Yeah it's really tough, you gotta work really hard." No shit! So is being broke and/or miserable.
Slowlaners always aim low, settle for less, are lazy and put in the bare minimum, want the work done for them, always try to talk others out of doing anything, etc. Most of them are incredibly selfish too. You can see why they're broke. Their mindset ensures they will always have very little in life and live just barely surviving. Their mindset is literally the limit. Little do they know, their mindset is the difference between staying where they are or having mobility up the socioeconomic ladder.
 

NewManRising

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To continue the analogy, the reason you are feeling alone is because there is only one seat at the head of the table, and that's your whole world. That seat sets you apart from the rest of the other people seated along the sides. And they will reject you if you try to join them. The others will tell you how smart you are and then have nothing to do with you unless they want something from you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's usually true.

It usually works like this -- this rejection can be seen when a one of their members breaks ranks by "besting" them. For example, he is promoted from being a guy on the line to being a supervisor. At that point, he is no longer welcome to drink beers with his old circle of pals. He is both ejected from their ranks and socially rejected. Some people at this point screw up the new job and return to their old pals. After telling him that they knew he'd never make the new job work, they welcome him back.

Others accept their new social situation and create a new circle of friends. Each level of accomplishment or different social situation requires a new circle of friends. That has been my experience over the years. At times, I have had my toe in several different worlds at the same time. I call it "creating spheres of influence". I collect different circles of friend for different aspects of my life. I move between those groups depending on what I'm doing that day. If you too can create some support circles, you too will feel less alone.
This has been my problem. I have largely kept the same friends/family throughout my life. But I am fully aware that I have outgrown them. They're all settled in their mediocre lives. They aim low in life and never accomplished anything worthwhile. They put in just the bare minimum.

My background isn't great but I decided to try and do the best for myself in life. Out of all my friends and family (excluding my mom), I am the only one that got a degree. I am really the only one that has been independent, took risks, lived alone in different cities and states, etc.

Most of them have never left their hometowns and have virtually remained the same person as they were when they were teenagers. They never learned how to be independent or get off their mom's teat. Never had any real experiences that shaped them. They care about video games, gadgets, the newest Marvel movie, Facebook, and all that stupid stuff.

Anyway, you get the point. I've been trying to move up the socioeconomic ladder. I value freedom, purpose in life, my health, meaningful work, and relationships, I read every day, etc.

The hard truth is that there is no way I can achieve my dreams around these people. They always try so hard to keep you down there with them. They say stupid shit like "just work at a warehouse" or something similar. It truly amazes me how some people, given the choice of aiming high or low in life, prefer to aim low.

The main difference between broke people and those that aren't is mindset. I know this isn't some breakthrough discovery but it really does matter who you surround yourself with. The people that are broke (most of them) choose to be this way. You have to develop the mindset of a winner and surround yourself with people who are the same.

I heard a quote one time that was something like "make friends with the people who are going to where you want to be in life."

Or another way to put it, find those in life who match your level of energy.
 

Markus Ewalts

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14
An additional perspective on the feeling of loneliness

We all feel lonely. Some more often than others. That is ok. It's always valid to feel how you feel. We humans are social beeings and have the inherent desire for connection. We want to not feel lonely. Therefore we create connections and gather in groups. Family, friends, clubs, etc. Different social circles as @WJK described it. We identify ourself as one of this group by traits we have in common: being from the same family, beeing entrepeneurs, loving rock music, driving harleys, etc.

When someone in the group develops traits that are different from the groups "identity traits" the connection is threatened. That is the fear your family has in their hearts. They subconciously fear you "abandon" them. That you become so different from them, that you no longer belong to the group. They fear to loose you. So they do the obvious and try to keep you in the group. Recommending that you do not change and stay connected with them. They simply want to be connected with you. That's it.

Obviously - for us - they could embrace your change and even change themself and stay connected. But most humans resist change and therefore they usually refuse to take that path. For them this option "change" is often not even visible. That's why @Makko 's dad is the only one in his social circle that supports him. His dad has the experience that he can imagine what @Makko is about to do and change into. For most people it is more like this:

Imagine your family is living in the caribbean and has never seen snow in their entire life. Now you come along, full of energy and pleasant anticipation because you are going to be living in greenland. You rave about how great it'll be to breath the clear fresh air and live in an igloo. "What's an igloo?" they ask. That is a house made from ice, ice that's frozen snow. It is so cold there that it works. They all do it that way over there...

...and then imagine their reaction. This is how they most likely feel.

Long story short. Your not alone. I feel alone too. Many more do right now. We all experience that when we change that some (or all) of our old social circles disconnect. That is painful. It's like goodbye at the train station. You leave friends behind and meet new ones on the train as well as at the station that you exit. And who knows, maybe we even meet some of our old friends at that station. Humans have the incredible ability to change at any time. All they have to do is to choose to make that change.

PS: If you look for further insights to getting over it you may enjoy Teal Swans youtube videos on such matters. Simply skip over the spiritual references if that stuff sounds hilarious in your ears.

I hope this helps you on your path and I'm looking forward to meet you on that train. You are not alone!
 

BlackMagician

Silver Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 18, 2018
458
937
341
Mumbai, India
It's been 3 years i learned about TMF . I have this small group of best friends. We 4 people of besties. I have been advocating them about TMF philosophy since then. Lot's of MJ posts, sharing stories from this forums and books, sharing MJ social media posts, showing them the videos MJ created or other successful entrepreneurs.

You know what happen? nothing. They troll on my words. They pass comments. They have seen my success, my freedom and how i achieved because i was transparent with them and shared every little steps but they still don't change the mindset.

and believe me, they are very close friends of mine. Like 25 years of friendship.
This is how the world is. That's why MJ called it "SCRIPTED". They are willingly in that daldal(swamp).
So keep going. Show your path as you succeed then maybe few will follow you.

More power to you.
 

Dmusic

Contributor
Aug 17, 2021
20
47
17
An additional perspective on the feeling of loneliness

We all feel lonely. Some more often than others. That is ok. It's always valid to feel how you feel. We humans are social beeings and have the inherent desire for connection. We want to not feel lonely. Therefore we create connections and gather in groups. Family, friends, clubs, etc. Different social circles as @WJK described it. We identify ourself as one of this group by traits we have in common: being from the same family, beeing entrepeneurs, loving rock music, driving harleys, etc.

When someone in the group develops traits that are different from the groups "identity traits" the connection is threatened. That is the fear your family has in their hearts. They subconciously fear you "abandon" them. That you become so different from them, that you no longer belong to the group. They fear to loose you. So they do the obvious and try to keep you in the group. Recommending that you do not change and stay connected with them. They simply want to be connected with you. That's it.

Obviously - for us - they could embrace your change and even change themself and stay connected. But most humans resist change and therefore they usually refuse to take that path. For them this option "change" is often not even visible. That's why @Makko 's dad is the only one in his social circle that supports him. His dad has the experience that he can imagine what @Makko is about to do and change into. For most people it is more like this:

Imagine your family is living in the caribbean and has never seen snow in their entire life. Now you come along, full of energy and pleasant anticipation because you are going to be living in greenland. You rave about how great it'll be to breath the clear fresh air and live in an igloo. "What's an igloo?" they ask. That is a house made from ice, ice that's frozen snow. It is so cold there that it works. They all do it that way over there...

...and then imagine their reaction. This is how they most likely feel.

Long story short. Your not alone. I feel alone too. Many more do right now. We all experience that when we change that some (or all) of our old social circles disconnect. That is painful. It's like goodbye at the train station. You leave friends behind and meet new ones on the train as well as at the station that you exit. And who knows, maybe we even meet some of our old friends at that station. Humans have the incredible ability to change at any time. All they have to do is to choose to make that change.

PS: If you look for further insights to getting over it you may enjoy Teal Swans youtube videos on such matters. Simply skip over the spiritual references if that stuff sounds hilarious in your ears.

I hope this helps you on your path and I'm looking forward to meet you on that train. You are not alone!
Thank you, great words.
 

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