<div class="bbWrapper">Well, this would qualify as the lowest of low days in my financial history. <br />
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The business is gone. Completely, and so is the $70k. I don't want to talk about what happened to it, and why I no longer control it, but I'll say this. I didn't do enough due dilligence and I had absolutely no plan in place when I started or while it was being run. I got some money out of it before I lost control, which is okay I guess.<br />
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Next, I went to a pawn shop today and sold most anything and everything in my possession that was of any value. What an eye opener that was. Waiting in line watching all these people desperate for cash being forced to sell their prized possessions for this reason or that. For me, I didn't really care, it's just stuff, I can get it back some day.<br />
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It was a shock to see the power the pawnbroker had over me though. I was in no position to negotiate, I was on his turf and his domain. In an odd sense I found the entire ordeal to be kind of inspiring/motivating. <br />
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Also, it finally came a time to admit to myself that I am/was an addicted gambler. I can't even begin to tell you how many hours I've wasted to it over the years (to be honest I think I was only 13-14 when I first got hooked, saw the wsop on tv and downloaded all the internet sites and made deposit after deposit.) Every time I would deposit, the money would be gone within a few days, most times within a few hours. And every time I told myself, lied to myself, that I could win it back. This has gone on for years and I've never admitted it to anyone until now. Easily lost over $10,000 (including my entire life savings when I turned 18).<br />
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It's not just talk though, I had all of the internet sites permanently ban me, so I no longer have access to them even if I tried. This ban is permanent, irreversible, forever, and damn fine by me. <br />
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Girls have also largely influenced me. Buying a shitload of nonsense for people that now it's clear were for the most part only using me. That also ends now. Until I'm in a MUCH better position (where the purchases represent miniscule percentages of my income), I'm not buying anything for anyone and that's not negotiable. This includes gifts and what have you.<br />
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I'm also an impulse buyer. Yesterday, honestly it was 4 oclock in the morning and I got onto ebay and bought about $80 worth of crap I don't need. Not a big number so I'll let it slide, but things like this will not, and can not happen often, ideally never.<br />
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So that's it, that's me in a nutshell. I no longer have anything of value except my computer, a watch, and that's about it.<br />
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I no longer have a positive networth, or any networth at all.<br />
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Assets:<b> $0</b><br />
Debts: $1,500<br />
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The good thing is I now only owe 1.5k. I paid off everyone except the credit card and the gym, and I've already paid for all my expenses in November (the month upcoming), so I can spend the whole month bringing that debt down. If I pore my entire paycheck into my debts and mandatory expenses, and do nothing else, I'll have it all paid off within 2 months, but I'll figure out a way to do more faster.<br />
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I would quote something to the effect of 'if you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose' because that's kind of what I'm feeling right now. I have nothing except my brain, my drive, my ambition, my health and my friends and family. That's all I need to get this done.</div>
