How Do I Get Out Of Here?

[Surajp]

Hello everyone, my name is Suraj and I live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am currently reading MJ De Marco's Fastlane Millionaire, and being a cynic when it comes to self help books and all, I find this book to be truly mind blowing. He actually gives you real advice with no fluff nonsense. This book is as concrete as a fastlane ought to be. I am never a big fan of forum, but I got so impressed I decided to join in.

I am currently working in my family-owned wholesale textile company. My dad is the owner of this company and I am working under his wing. fastlane? I don't know. Reading this book, I have come to a dilemma, I am inspired on blazing my own trail, but I am too afraid to let go of the easy way and continuing this business after my father retires.

I do not enjoy this line of work and my dad does not seem to take me very seriously. Perhaps because I do not take this work seriously either. I guess subconsciously I am thinking "oh it is my own family's company, why should I care?" I guess I would never be able to care. This looks like a spoiled brat's way to being a millionaire. And I do not want this.

I want to make it on my own and blaze my own trails, but I am too scared or too intimidated to confront my dad on this, and also because I do not know what to do. On top of that I am currently using up all my salary on paying the installments for the 2 studio apartments I have invested in. So my income goes to my apartments which are currently being build, and to supporting my wife and daughter.

I am sure some of you reading this might be confused, I am sorry for such a lengthy introduction, but this happens to be an introduction and also a plea for guidance. I need to do something, I have this feeling that I need to do something before it is too late. I need to know where to start. I am too afraid to quit this safety net that happens to be my family owned company.

 

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[Lex DeVille]

Hello everyone, my name is Suraj and I live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am currently reading MJ De Marco's Fastlane Millionaire, and being a cynic when it comes to self help books and all, I find this book to be truly mind blowing. He actually gives you real advice with no fluff nonsense. This book is as concrete as a fastlane ought to be. I am never a big fan of forum, but I got so impressed I decided to join in.

I am currently working in my family-owned wholesale textile company. My dad is the owner of this company and I am working under his wing. fastlane? I don't know. Reading this book, I have come to a dilemma, I am inspired on blazing my own trail, but I am too afraid to let go of the easy way and continuing this business after my father retires.

I do not enjoy this line of work and my dad does not seem to take me very seriously. Perhaps because I do not take this work seriously either. I guess subconsciously I am thinking "oh it is my own family's company, why should I care?" I guess I would never be able to care. This looks like a spoiled brat's way to being a millionaire. And I do not want this.

I want to make it on my own and blaze my own trails, but I am too scared or too intimidated to confront my dad on this, and also because I do not know what to do. On top of that I am currently using up all my salary on paying the installments for the 2 studio apartments I have invested in. So my income goes to my apartments which are currently being build, and to supporting my wife and daughter.

I am sure some of you reading this might be confused, I am sorry for such a lengthy introduction, but this happens to be an introduction and also a plea for guidance. I need to do something, I have this feeling that I need to do something before it is too late. I need to know where to start. I am too afraid to quit this safety net that happens to be my family owned company.

What if you weren't afraid to tell your family how you feel? If you told them, what would happen?

If the fear you mentioned didn't exist, what would be the first step you would take?

Blazing your own trail starts with courage. Even if we tell you what to do, it won't give you the courage to do it. Courage comes from within.

What do you really want from life? For most people there's the life they imagine, and the life they actually have.

Most people never have the life they imagine because fear stops them from doing what's necessary.

Doing what's necessary to create the life you want is the only way, but we can't tell you how to do that and we can't do it for you.

But here are some steps:

Step 1: Decide what you want in life.

Step 2: Choose to go after it, or don't.

I do hope you choose the decision that's right for you. The Fastlane isn't for everyone, but for those few with the courage to do what it takes, the rewards often outweigh the challenges they had to overcome to get there.

 

[SmoothFranko]

 

[Andy Black]

Hello everyone, my name is Suraj and I live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am currently reading MJ De Marco's Fastlane Millionaire, and being a cynic when it comes to self help books and all, I find this book to be truly mind blowing. He actually gives you real advice with no fluff nonsense. This book is as concrete as a fastlane ought to be. I am never a big fan of forum, but I got so impressed I decided to join in.

I am currently working in my family-owned wholesale textile company. My dad is the owner of this company and I am working under his wing. fastlane? I don't know. Reading this book, I have come to a dilemma, I am inspired on blazing my own trail, but I am too afraid to let go of the easy way and continuing this business after my father retires.

I do not enjoy this line of work and my dad does not seem to take me very seriously. Perhaps because I do not take this work seriously either. I guess subconsciously I am thinking "oh it is my own family's company, why should I care?" I guess I would never be able to care. This looks like a spoiled brat's way to being a millionaire. And I do not want this.

I want to make it on my own and blaze my own trails, but I am too scared or too intimidated to confront my dad on this, and also because I do not know what to do. On top of that I am currently using up all my salary on paying the installments for the 2 studio apartments I have invested in. So my income goes to my apartments which are currently being build, and to supporting my wife and daughter.

I am sure some of you reading this might be confused, I am sorry for such a lengthy introduction, but this happens to be an introduction and also a plea for guidance. I need to do something, I have this feeling that I need to do something before it is too late. I need to know where to start. I am too afraid to quit this safety net that happens to be my family owned company.

Welcome Suraj.

Is there a third option?

Is there a way you can reframe what you're doing or thinking so you're motivated to grow the family business?

 

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[Andy Black]

Ooo. Nice.

Very much what Dan Sullivan says here:

 

[SmoothFranko]

Ooo. Nice.

Very much what Dan Sullivan says here:

I actually made it in Photoshop after watching that video you posted

 

[Napoolion]

Welcome to the forum.

Just finishing The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. What an awesome book. I somehow found a resemblance with one law and your post (Blazing your own trail dilemma).

Book consists of 48 laws and one law of it is:
Law 41 Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes
What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them. Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making: Establish your own name and identity by changing course. Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Copy pasted story too into spoiler.

Spoiler: Stories from the book about the law

Example from a book:

When Louis XIV died, in 1715, after a glorious fifty-five-year reign, all eyes focused on his great-grandson and chosen successor, the future Louis XV. Would the boy, only five at the time, prove as great a leader as the Sun King? Louis XIV had transformed a country on the verge of civil war into the preeminent power in Europe. The last years of his reign had been difficult—he had been old and tired—but it was hoped that the child would develop into the kind of strong ruler who would reinvigorate the land and add to the firm foundation that Louis XIV had laid. To this end the child was given the best minds of France as his tutors, men who would instruct him in the arts of statecraft, in the methods that the Sun King had perfected. Nothing was neglected in his education. But when Louis XV came to the throne, in 1726, a sudden change came over him: He no longer had to study or please others or prove himself.

He stood alone at the top of a great country, with wealth and power at his command. He could do as he wished. In the first years of his reign, Louis gave himself over to pleasure, leaving the government in the hands of a trusted minister, André-Hercule de Fleury. This caused little concern, for he was a young man who needed to sow his wild oats, and de Fleury was a good minister. But it slowly became clear that this was more than a passing phase. Louis had no interest in governing. His main worry was not France’s finances, or a possible war with Spain, but boredom. He could not stand being bored, and when he was not hunting deer, or chasing young girls, he whiled away his time at the gambling tables, losing huge sums in a single night. The court, as usual, reflected the tastes of the ruler. Gambling and lavish parties became the obsession. The courtiers had no concern with the future of France—they poured their energies into charming the king, angling for titles that would bring them life pensions, and for cabinet positions demanding little work but paying huge salaries.

Parasites flocked to the court, and the state’s debts swelled. In 1745 Louis fell in love with Madame de Pompadour, a woman of middle-class origin who had managed to rise through her charms, her intelligence, and a good marriage. Madame de Pompadour became the official royal mistress; she also became France’s arbiter of taste and fashion. But the Madame had political ambitions as well, and she eventually emerged as the country’s unofficial prime minister—it was she, not Louis, who wielded hiring-and-firing power over France’s most important ministers. As he grew older Louis only needed more diversion. On the grounds of Versailles he built a brothel, Parc aux Cerfs, which housed some of the prettiest young girls of France. Underground passages and hidden stair-cases gave Louis access at all hours. After Madame de Pompadour died, in 1764, she was succeeded as royal mistress by Madame du Barry, who soon came to dominate the court, and who, like de Pompadour before her, began to meddle in affairs of state.

If a minister did not please her he would find himself fired. All of Europe was aghast when du Barry, the daughter of a baker, managed to arrange the firing of Étienne de Choiseul, the foreign minister and France’s most able diplomat. He had shown her too little respect. As time went by, swindlers and charlatans made their nests in Versailles, and enticed Louis’s interest in astrology, the occult, and fraudulent business deals. The young and pampered teenager who had taken over France years before had only grown worse with age. The motto that became attached to Louis’s reign was “Après moi, le déluge”—“After me the flood,” or, Let France rot after I am gone. And indeed when Louis did go, in 1774, worn out by debauchery, his country and his own finances were in horrible disarray. His grandson Louis XVI inherited a realm in desperate need of reform and a strong leader. But Louis XVI was even weaker than his grandfather, and could only watch as the country descended into revolution. In 1792 the republic introduced by the French Revolution declared the end of the monarchy, and gave the king a new name, “Louis the Last.” A few months later he kneeled on the guillotine, his about-to-be-severed head stripped of all the radiance and power that the Sun King had invested in the crown.

Interpretation

From a country that had descended into civil war in the late 1640s, Louis XIV forged the mightiest realm in Europe. Great generals would tremble in his presence. A cook once made a mistake in preparing a dish and committed suicide rather than face the king’s wrath. Louis XIV had many mistresses, but their power ended in the bedroom. He filled his court with the most brilliant minds of the age. The symbol of his power was Versailles: Refusing to accept the palace of his forefathers, the Louvre, he built his own palace in what was then the middle of nowhere, symbolizing that this was a new order he had founded, one without precedent. He made Versailles the centerpiece of his reign, a place that all the powerful of Europe envied and visited with a sense of awe. In essence, Louis took a great void—the decaying monarchy of France—and filled it with his own symbols and radiant power.

Louis XV, on the other hand, symbolizes the fate of all those who inherit something large or who follow in a great man’s footsteps. It would seem easy for a son or successor to build on the grand foundation left for them, but in the realm of power the opposite is true. The pampered, indulged son almost always squanders the inheritance, for he does not start with the father’s need to fill a void. As Machiavelli states, necessity is what impels men to take action, and once the necessity is gone, only rot and decay are left. Having no need to increase his store of power, Louis XV inevitably succumbed to inertia. Under him, Versailles, the symbol of the Sun King’s authority, became a pleasure palace of incomparable banality, a kind of Las Vegas of the Bourbon monarchy. It came to represent all that the oppressed peasantry of France hated about their king, and during the Revolution they looted it with glee.




Greene, Robert (2000-09-01 00:00:00+02:00). The 48 Laws of Power (Kindle Locations 7794-7800). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.

 

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[Cascade]

Hello everyone, my name is Suraj and I live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am currently reading MJ De Marco's Fastlane Millionaire, and being a cynic when it comes to self help books and all, I find this book to be truly mind blowing. He actually gives you real advice with no fluff nonsense. This book is as concrete as a fastlane ought to be. I am never a big fan of forum, but I got so impressed I decided to join in.

I am currently working in my family-owned wholesale textile company. My dad is the owner of this company and I am working under his wing. fastlane? I don't know. Reading this book, I have come to a dilemma, I am inspired on blazing my own trail, but I am too afraid to let go of the easy way and continuing this business after my father retires.

I do not enjoy this line of work and my dad does not seem to take me very seriously. Perhaps because I do not take this work seriously either. I guess subconsciously I am thinking "oh it is my own family's company, why should I care?" I guess I would never be able to care. This looks like a spoiled brat's way to being a millionaire. And I do not want this.

I want to make it on my own and blaze my own trails, but I am too scared or too intimidated to confront my dad on this, and also because I do not know what to do. On top of that I am currently using up all my salary on paying the installments for the 2 studio apartments I have invested in. So my income goes to my apartments which are currently being build, and to supporting my wife and daughter.

I am sure some of you reading this might be confused, I am sorry for such a lengthy introduction, but this happens to be an introduction and also a plea for guidance. I need to do something, I have this feeling that I need to do something before it is too late. I need to know where to start. I am too afraid to quit this safety net that happens to be my family owned company.

Cultural context, in Asia, family business is passed down in the family. Benefit is you start off life with some wealth, a business owner and a very motivated mentor to teach and show the way. Great position to be in.

You want to blaze your own trail? Well guess what my friend...when the day comes to assume the CEO responsibilities...every morning you will have to blaze a new trail. Seriously...what's the rush?

Just don't end up acting spoilt and pampered. The world has enough trust-fund babies that need to be bitch slapped. You have a million? great! well, you have jump-start ahead of many people. Now how do you double this wealth? How do you secure passive annuity income?

Your father sounds traditional and old-school. Give him RESPECT and earn his TRUST. Try to talk things out with him, or if you are closer to your mother, reach out to her first.

Here's some things scions of asian business have tried and worked

1. If working in the family business was the only job ever then ask for a few years to go out and see the world either through your own startup or working for another firm. [possible while still young, no so easy after your father hands over the keys to the CEO/Chairman office]

2. find a market need to fill using existing business strengths. There are many stories of how children of family businesses strike out into a new niche and "earn their stripes" when the business succeeds

3. search for a business that you have an edge to operate and can add value to the family business; work out how to acquire and run it.


Need more ideas? Talk to your peers! If you are truly where you are suggesting, then you would already have private invitations to various closed-door events for business families. Other 2nd/3rd/4th generation members are great source to share experiences and make lifelong friends.

p.s. BONUS

Here's a nice article being shared in social media out here in asia. Perhaps you may already have seen but it does make good sense worth sharing. Have no idea who was the original author...


Advice from an 80 year old man............
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair

 

[Andy Black]

Cultural context, in Asia, family business is passed down in the family. Benefit is you start off life with some wealth, a business owner and a very motivated mentor to teach and show the way. Great position to be in.

You want to blaze your own trail? Well guess what my friend...when the day comes to assume the CEO responsibilities...every morning you will have to blaze a new trail. Seriously...what's the rush?

Just don't end up acting spoilt and pampered. The world has enough trust-fund babies that need to be bitch slapped. You have a million? great! well, you have jump-start ahead of many people. Now how do you double this wealth? How do you secure passive annuity income?

Your father sounds traditional and old-school. Give him RESPECT and earn his TRUST. Try to talk things out with him, or if you are closer to your mother, reach out to her first.

Here's some things scions of asian business have tried and worked

1. If working in the family business was the only job ever then ask for a few years to go out and see the world either through your own startup or working for another firm. [possible while still young, no so easy after your father hands over the keys to the CEO/Chairman office]

2. find a market need to fill using existing business strengths. There are many stories of how children of family businesses strike out into a new niche and "earn their stripes" when the business succeeds

3. search for a business that you have an edge to operate and can add value to the family business; work out how to acquire and run it.


Need more ideas? Talk to your peers! If you are truly where you are suggesting, then you would already have private invitations to various closed-door events for business families. Other 2nd/3rd/4th generation members are great source to share experiences and make lifelong friends.

p.s. BONUS

Here's a nice article being shared in social media out here in asia. Perhaps you may already have seen but it does make good sense worth sharing. Have no idea who was the original author...


Advice from an 80 year old man............
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair

Thank you. That's one 80 year old I'd love to meet.

What a post. This forum is home to some amazing people.

 

[Blue1214]

How is this supposed to help Sura? Come on man.

 

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[Get Right]

Welcome Suraj.

Is there a third option?

Is there a way you can reframe what you're doing or thinking so you're motivated to grow the family business?

Please, @Surajp give this some thought. I along with many others would have killed to be in this position...

Look up Gary Vaynerchuk. See what he did with his dad's business and where he is now.

 

[Lex DeVille]

How is this supposed to help Sura? Come on man.

How is this?

 

[Vigilante]

Cultural context, in Asia, family business is passed down in the family. Benefit is you start off life with some wealth, a business owner and a very motivated mentor to teach and show the way. Great position to be in.

You want to blaze your own trail? Well guess what my friend...when the day comes to assume the CEO responsibilities...every morning you will have to blaze a new trail. Seriously...what's the rush?

Just don't end up acting spoilt and pampered. The world has enough trust-fund babies that need to be bitch slapped. You have a million? great! well, you have jump-start ahead of many people. Now how do you double this wealth? How do you secure passive annuity income?

Your father sounds traditional and old-school. Give him RESPECT and earn his TRUST. Try to talk things out with him, or if you are closer to your mother, reach out to her first.

Here's some things scions of asian business have tried and worked

1. If working in the family business was the only job ever then ask for a few years to go out and see the world either through your own startup or working for another firm. [possible while still young, no so easy after your father hands over the keys to the CEO/Chairman office]

2. find a market need to fill using existing business strengths. There are many stories of how children of family businesses strike out into a new niche and "earn their stripes" when the business succeeds

3. search for a business that you have an edge to operate and can add value to the family business; work out how to acquire and run it.


Need more ideas? Talk to your peers! If you are truly where you are suggesting, then you would already have private invitations to various closed-door events for business families. Other 2nd/3rd/4th generation members are great source to share experiences and make lifelong friends.

p.s. BONUS

Here's a nice article being shared in social media out here in asia. Perhaps you may already have seen but it does make good sense worth sharing. Have no idea who was the original author...


Advice from an 80 year old man............
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair

One of the kindest, best responses I have seen on the forum in a while. I am glad you are here. Speed+. I wish we could mark individual posts as gold.

 

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[Bouncing Soul]

Berkshire Hathaway was a textile business. If for some reason that name doesn't ring a bell, think "competing for richest man in the world".

You've been given great advice. Enjoy your good fortune and give back to the world and employees that have supported your family by doing even more with it.

 

[Bila]

Cultural context, in Asia, family business is passed down in the family. Benefit is you start off life with some wealth, a business owner and a very motivated mentor to teach and show the way. Great position to be in.

You want to blaze your own trail? Well guess what my friend...when the day comes to assume the CEO responsibilities...every morning you will have to blaze a new trail. Seriously...what's the rush?

Just don't end up acting spoilt and pampered. The world has enough trust-fund babies that need to be bitch slapped. You have a million? great! well, you have jump-start ahead of many people. Now how do you double this wealth? How do you secure passive annuity income?

Your father sounds traditional and old-school. Give him RESPECT and earn his TRUST. Try to talk things out with him, or if you are closer to your mother, reach out to her first.

Here's some things scions of asian business have tried and worked

1. If working in the family business was the only job ever then ask for a few years to go out and see the world either through your own startup or working for another firm. [possible while still young, no so easy after your father hands over the keys to the CEO/Chairman office]

2. find a market need to fill using existing business strengths. There are many stories of how children of family businesses strike out into a new niche and "earn their stripes" when the business succeeds

3. search for a business that you have an edge to operate and can add value to the family business; work out how to acquire and run it.


Need more ideas? Talk to your peers! If you are truly where you are suggesting, then you would already have private invitations to various closed-door events for business families. Other 2nd/3rd/4th generation members are great source to share experiences and make lifelong friends.

p.s. BONUS

Here's a nice article being shared in social media out here in asia. Perhaps you may already have seen but it does make good sense worth sharing. Have no idea who was the original author...


Advice from an 80 year old man............
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair

Such a wise response, please post more often
Bila

 

[Delmania]

Given where you are, I can only recommend what I would do in this circumstance. If you haven't looked at So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport, I'd pick it up. The premise of the book is that it's skill, not passion, that makes you successful. You don't do what you love, you love what you do. In your case, you have a unique opportunity, the chance to learn how to operate a business with no risk. Most Fastlaners learn that on the job. You can get master those skills, you can combine that with your relationships and interests, and form your own path. So, unless you're completely determined to go out on your own, I'd recommend taking your job seriously, and learning as much as you can from you father.

 

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[Mattie]

If I remember right there wasn't anyone or anything that talked me out of fear. I had to believe there was something more than what people around me were telling me, and not take the world I knew at face value. I knew somehow there was more too it, so of course even though my body was faking me out with anxiety and fear, I knew it was time to take a leap of faith anyway. Ha ha! Well being a girl I was even crying. I suppose it was a lesson that even if emotions and feelings may be a certain way, do it anyway.

2nd time around I had the anxiety and fear, but the emotions were under control and I was fearless. So I think on the journey there are different times when you have to make a choice to take a leap of faith and take risks, even if the world and your body screams no. And usually what you find out, is fear is an illusion when it comes to stuff like Entrepreneurship, becoming self-reliant, and is all about your beliefs and perception. Now when fear comes along it's not so powerful anymore, anxiety as well.

I think once you learn to regulate emotions and perceive things differently, and get your feet wet, it's not such a big deal.

Now fear shows up, but it's a choice to be fearless.

 

[Delylah]

Advice from an 80 year old man............
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair

Rep++ loved the 50 points haha!

 

[Cascade]

One of the kindest, best responses I have seen on the forum in a while. I am glad you are here. Speed+. I wish we could mark individual posts as gold.

Really touched, you guys made my morning

Thank you @Delylah , @TheKing , @Vigilante , @Andy Black

Live in country next to Indonesia
Have good friends from Indonesia working in the family business, so understand the cultural context.
Felt had something to share with OP to help him. Seems also helpful to many others.

Normally get 'Likes' but 'REP TRANSFER' WOW WOW
Mark a post as GOLD? Wow wow

Thank you thank you. Appreciate the gesture

 

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[Cascade]

Such a wise response, please post more often
Bila

Been encouraged to repost this in a new thread so that it is easier to find and the new thread can reach out and help to more members.

New thread is here: www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/advice-from-an-80-year-old.63275

in case you want to "watch" this thread

 

[Surajp]

Oh.my.god. well its been 3 years. I am so sorry I have not replied to any of you for so long. I have read all of your posts and they all offer wonderful insights. I will gladly consider and find a way to implement then in my life.

I guess you all make a good point, especially when it comes to taking advantage of my unique position. Unfortunately I tend to have a love-hate relationship with my parents. A lot has happened since I started this topic and left it expecting nothing. For one my sister got a divorce and had to move into the house with her daughters which created some friction between the ladies ie my mom, my sister and my wife. It got unbearable that I exploded and moved out. I wrote about this episode in the FTE page. That explosion was one of my ftes. I am considered a nice obedient child, until that day. Yes I am finally living on my own with my wife and kids and not in their oversized mansion but I still depend on them for my income, which i feel sucky for.

So as far as my dad is concerned it is not easy to be open with him. But everyone's reply here were very helpful. I will definitely approach him more and talk with him. Even if he replies rudely, or tells me something I dont like , I need to swallow the bitter pill. I need to learn if I want to make it in this world without him.

A long overdue thank you to everyone for their contribution and for taking time to share with me your valuable advice. Thank you. In hindisght, may be if I had read this sooner I would not have done something so stupid and exploded and move out like a rebelious teenager...oh well..everything happens for the good.

Sent from my Lenovo P2a42 using Tapatalk

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Oh.my.god. well its been 3 years.

So what has changed? You moved out, but still require support from your dad? Are you setting off on your own or diving into the family business?

 

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[Seth G.]

Hello everyone, my name is Suraj and I live in Jakarta, Indonesia. I am currently reading MJ De Marco's Fastlane Millionaire, and being a cynic when it comes to self help books and all, I find this book to be truly mind blowing. He actually gives you real advice with no fluff nonsense. This book is as concrete as a fastlane ought to be. I am never a big fan of forum, but I got so impressed I decided to join in.

I am currently working in my family-owned wholesale textile company. My dad is the owner of this company and I am working under his wing. fastlane? I don't know. Reading this book, I have come to a dilemma, I am inspired on blazing my own trail, but I am too afraid to let go of the easy way and continuing this business after my father retires.

I do not enjoy this line of work and my dad does not seem to take me very seriously. Perhaps because I do not take this work seriously either. I guess subconsciously I am thinking "oh it is my own family's company, why should I care?" I guess I would never be able to care. This looks like a spoiled brat's way to being a millionaire. And I do not want this.

I want to make it on my own and blaze my own trails, but I am too scared or too intimidated to confront my dad on this, and also because I do not know what to do. On top of that I am currently using up all my salary on paying the installments for the 2 studio apartments I have invested in. So my income goes to my apartments which are currently being build, and to supporting my wife and daughter.

I am sure some of you reading this might be confused, I am sorry for such a lengthy introduction, but this happens to be an introduction and also a plea for guidance. I need to do something, I have this feeling that I need to do something before it is too late. I need to know where to start. I am too afraid to quit this safety net that happens to be my family owned company.

"All it takes is a tremendous amount of courage"

Starting here and with that book is a great place to start.
All any of it takes is courage. The worst possible (realistic) outcome from taking the unblazed trail puts you right back where you are today.

So what have you got to lose and perhaps more importantly, what have you got to gain?

 

[Surajp]

So what has changed? You moved out, but still require support from your dad? Are you setting off on your own or diving into the family business?

Well I did try to do something on my own but it went bust. From what I have learned from your books the reason y it failed was because what I tried doing was not unique and many others far better and more committed than me were doing it, also I did not have the time to do something about it, considering that my work pretty much take up most of my time. Also starting something from zero when you already have a family is not something that is easy to do.

I noticed I wrote that I depend on them for my income. After re reading that I noticed that is not the frame of mind I should be carrying around. I show up for work everyday and although it is my family business, I do not slack off. So I think I will rephrase that. I don't depend on them. I have dived in the family business, and I do take part in important business matters and decision. So in many ways, they depend on me too.

I do also make investments on the side such as property. I currently have three studio apartment units, which I am renovating and planning to give out for rent.

However, knowing how this business operates it is impossible to make it go on autopilot, it needs the constant presence of my father and I. Our business is rather traditional, as are all the small to medium sized businesses you will see in developing countries such as Indonesia. So yeah, I am still paying 5.5 days of work for 1.5 days of freedom. We open half day on saturdays.

Personally, since I moved out I have been exponentially better at handling money. The responsibility tht comes when you become a householder really teaches you a lot. And in that sense I am glad I moved out. Otherwise I would nt have been ready for the future.

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