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I have zero motivation to work after losing over $100,000

minivanman

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The US seems very lenient on bankruptcy though. In other countries it's pretty common to have restrictions like not being able to leave the country without permission, losing access to credit cards, needing permission to open bank accounts, needing permission for certain expenditures, etc. It's usually a big weight until it's discharged, not just "OK do-over, slate insta-clean!".

I knew a guy, Kevin, that was granted bankruptcy in the morning and that evening he drove home in a brand new Jeep.
 

WJK

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A couple years back I had a project go south, and I lost about $110k because of others actions (outside of my control). I know the feeling you are going through. It made be stronger though, when I overcame it. I focused on other things outside of this one loss, and promised never to make the same mistakes again. My MBA cost me about $120k, and this lesson cost me about the same amount. Some lessons in life are expensive. Consider it an educational expense and move on. There is more money to be made in life for you if you chase it. Also, look outwards, help others, do some service work, or some other support of others, there are a lot more people less fortunate than you right now. Empathy and understanding may be what you need to kick-start your next campaign in life. Best of luck in your goals. 2.0.
I too have lost several times your amount in a matter of a few days. Even though that loss wasn't directly my fault, I had taken the ownership risks. It was the worst outcome possible.
My partner & I had several commercial buildings burned down during civil rioting. No, fire insurance doesn't work during civil unrest or wars. It's an exception in the policies. Yes, the banks, with their notes and trust deeds, still demanded their money to be paid. The loans were accelerated (fully due and payable) since there's nothing left but a pile of ashes and debris. The land value was at sub-zero since there had been a riot, which killed the market value, and the land needs to cleared of the debris -- more expenses.
Many years passed and I'm still here. I have recovered from that financial disaster. My ex-business partner, who went through all of that with me, is still my dear friend. We're both a lot older and wiser.
 

BBobby

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Much respect for having the courage to post. Might I suggest using a therapist on a consistent basis. It will keep you honest and sane on a consistent level, with a real person to bounce your thoughts off of. The goal is to make sure you keep up with it every week or every other week. These small conversations will have a good affect over time. Best of luck friend
 
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fastbo

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Gary Kildall.

This was a guy who was a genius and very successful. Invented the first OS for personal computers. He even had a small private plane. Bill Gates (mother being on the board of IBM) referred IBM to him for this OS for their PC. What Gary called "the worst day of his life" he went joyriding in his airplane instead of meeting with the IBM suits. His wife refused to sign their NDA and they left. They approached Bill Gates, who sold them an OS he didn't have, who then bought a knock-off OS for $75,000 and became a billionaire.

Gary Kildall should have made billions off for essentially inventing the software the powered PCs for nearly 2 decades. Instead, he fell into a depression, got divorced, became a drunk, and died from a barfight in a biker bar.

No matter how bad you think you have it, you didn't have it as bad as Gary Kildall. You lost $100k, Gary Kildall should have been Bill Gates. Instead he's a footnote in history of the dumbest business blunder in history. Bill Gates became the richest man in the world for several decades, is still #2, and Gary Kildall died from a barfight in a biker bar.

Pick yourself up and get back to work. You have your youth. You have plenty of time to make money back. $100k is a lot of money, but it really isn't. If you find a good opportunity in a lightly competitive industry, it's not uncommon to be making $500k-$1m in a short period of time. That $100k will be a drop in the bucket. Finally, get your finances in order. Live cheap and invest all you can in business.
Oh final tip, don't compete in heavily competitive businesses. There's no money. You can't ever become more than average doing what everyone else is doing. Don't sell on ebay, don't sell on Amazon unless you have an edge, something to prevent the next guy from undercutting you and taking all your margin.
If Bill Gates hadn't been in the right place in the right time, he probably wouldn't be where he is. You have to get back up and expose yourself to new opportunity and that won't be at home watching tv and eating potato chips.
 

JAVB

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Every time I feel like that, without motivation or energy, I get around it by f!@#$% GETTING MAD.

Get mad! Don't take it anymore!

Watch, re-watch, act.

 

Tom Coffee

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Learn from your mistakes and move forward. Don't stop moving forward. Read some good books. You know what ones I am talking. Thank the Lord God for his blessing you and your business to make over a $100,000. I am proud of you to achieved that much success. A lot of people haven't make no where that amount of money in e-commerce.
 
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Roli

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I don't really know where to start. Basically awhile back I got really lucky in business and made over $100,000 profit in ecommerce. And over the period of a couple months I ended up losing it all from a mix of bad business decisions, splurging it on shopping and travel, and a little bad luck.

Now its as if everything I do to make money backfires and fails. I've had to fire all my VA's and drastically cut down on how much I spend on ads. As embarrassing as it is to say, I now have only a few thousand dollars left and 5 figures of debt. My credit has been hit hard and I wonder if I'll have to file bankruptcy soon.

For the past couple months I've had zero motivation to work. All I do is browse the internet, youtube, netflix, eat junk food, sleep in, and stay home. I wonder if losing this money has had a bigger impact on me than I knew how to handle. I don't believe I have depression but it feels like I'm flirting with it. I've tried everything to get out of this rut. Pure discipline, trying to find my purpose/fulfillment, coffee, adderall, nootropics, motivational blogs/videos, hired a life coach, went to masterminds/conferences, watched courses, etc. Some might have temporary fixes but nothing keeps me going.

I want to believe its only a mental roadblock holding me back but when I do try to move forward in business I keep failing and losing money. My ads fail, products fail, stores fail, networking fails.

I know the goals I have. I know I should keep working. I just can't find it in myself to DO. Maybe its because I don't know what to do anymore, everything I thought I knew I should do has proven to be wrong. Nothing "drives" me any more. Does anyone know whats happened to me?

Losing $100,000 especially in an e-commerce business is no chump change. I would go back and trace your steps regarding what you did to make those huge profits before your big loss. The feeling must be like a Casino gambler who keeps playing and losing after a big win. Maybe you should have cashed out early and invested in Real Estate or something else. I was going to say crypto-currency but it looks like people are not making those huge profits anymore investing in Bitcoin or in any of those other coins. Failure rates in small business startups could be 75% or higher over a five year period of time. Before you start a new business do your due diligence because nothing is guaranteed forever.
 

Jakawan

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I don't really know where to start. Basically awhile back I got really lucky in business and made over $100,000 profit in ecommerce. And over the period of a couple months I ended up losing it all from a mix of bad business decisions, splurging it on shopping and travel, and a little bad luck.

Now its as if everything I do to make money backfires and fails. I've had to fire all my VA's and drastically cut down on how much I spend on ads. As embarrassing as it is to say, I now have only a few thousand dollars left and 5 figures of debt. My credit has been hit hard and I wonder if I'll have to file bankruptcy soon.

For the past couple months I've had zero motivation to work. All I do is browse the internet, youtube, netflix, eat junk food, sleep in, and stay home. I wonder if losing this money has had a bigger impact on me than I knew how to handle. I don't believe I have depression but it feels like I'm flirting with it. I've tried everything to get out of this rut. Pure discipline, trying to find my purpose/fulfillment, coffee, adderall, nootropics, motivational blogs/videos, hired a life coach, went to masterminds/conferences, watched courses, etc. Some might have temporary fixes but nothing keeps me going.

I want to believe its only a mental roadblock holding me back but when I do try to move forward in business I keep failing and losing money. My ads fail, products fail, stores fail, networking fails.

I know the goals I have. I know I should keep working. I just can't find it in myself to DO. Maybe its because I don't know what to do anymore, everything I thought I knew I should do has proven to be wrong. Nothing "drives" me any more. Does anyone know whats happened to me?

I wasn't going to post because you haven't come back to read these yet.. but I got some value out of reading the comments that were meant for you, so thought I'd share my opinion to possibly spark some ideas for others reading this.

People are motivated by two things. Pain or pleasure. I have not met a successful person who has not faced major challenges, lost tons of money, and had to take responsibility and fight back before reaching the next level. This is just another chapter man. You made poor decisions with your money, but luckily, it as only $100k. It could have been millions or more. But now.. NEXT TIME.. you know what NOT to do.

I was super excited to get started in business in 2014. I quit my job, started an LLC, and started hustling eBay like a lot of people do. Sold a few cars, and a few houses and paid off debts. I wanted so badly to flip houses.. and I met someone who had done 25+ of them and I trusted him. He "helped" me buy a house to rehab and said he would even make the mortgage payment and pay for the crew since I couldn't afford it.. My responsibility was to pay for materials and use my credit to buy the house and we would split profits. He had a relationship with this bank, and told me he was making the payments. I never got a statement, so I always asked him twice, did you pay it? He said yes.. third month comes.. I get a letter with red heading... (90 Day Notice of Default)... I freaked out and honestly for a moment wanted to hurt that man... that's not me..
Long story short... I initially lost $27,000.. the house went back to the bank.. I had to go back to a J-O-B for 6-7 months. I became depressed.. I literally sat on my couch at 6am before work.. and cried.. I no longer enjoyed my life. I didn't want to live.. I didn't like my existence.. But I kept going.
I started listening to podcasts again.. and eventually I started drinking 44oz coffees and making phone calls on my lunch breaks and after work.. I sold 2-3 houses in that 6 months, paid off some debt, and started generating leads and getting some traction... went from full-time to part time... went part time for a month before losing a real estate deal due to my job not letting me go home at the time I was scheduled to be off... But anyways... Haven't had a job since January of 2015. Have generated maybe half a million dollars. I'm not a millionaire, but I've came back from pain so I know you can too, and anyone who keeps looking forward can. I'm writing this from Thailand. I've been here 4 months without a job now. Plan to take a few more months off.. working on a Shopify store while my rentals generate my living expenses. Keep pushing!
 
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SweetTooth

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Wow, this thread picked up more than I was expecting. Thank you everyone that offered advice, I read each of your posts numerous times. I agree I need a change in lifestyle for sure. I would like to note I wasn't always living with these bad habits like some posters are implying, it was only after my business was drastically declining. I had some work ethic before or else I wouldn't have made the money in the first place. The problem I face now is that even though I know what I have to do and want to do, I have no "drive" to do those things, and some posters explained why that could be which I agree with.

I also agree with @GoGetter24 when he says more stories of people in similar situations would inspire me the most. @Jakawan, @WJK, @Rich Wood have posted such personal stories. Other posters like @Roli, @Chx, @juba.hadjal, and @PetePreneur have posted VERY actionable advice that I will start implementing immediately.
 

eekern

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Question, are you in shopify/dropshipping ?

If so, this could be a result that your business model don`t follow the CENTS


Shopify stores are the gold rush right now, people are throwing out numbers, infocourses are popping up each day, but sounds like you hit a trend aka found gold.

How did it stop ? Did other copied your product due low barrier of entry?

Or did the rise in Facebook ad cost or wholesaler prices made your spend go over KPI/ROAS due lack of control?


What ever it is you should find a solution, no one earn 100k by pure luck.

MAYBE you need to create your own product , you already know the ecommerence model, right ?

Start creating a brand or product that you can be proud to tell people about instead, that makes all the challenges seem small in comparison.

Yes! it involves stop chasing the quick cash and get a part time work, but 2-5 years from now you will be dept free and have a foundation that will last you a lifetime !

Making business decisions knowing your dept piled up is making you think way to small!

Think big, think long term. Let us know where you are in a couple of months.

PS: If you have a big list, you have untapped value if all you have emailed out is flash sales.

Start a 1 on 1 dialog with your list and ask what they want, need. Start there..
 
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denzel

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I also had some hard down phases. What always helped me is sports, the hardest part is to get up, once you're up and running it feels already better. Then change your mindset, you paid now 100K in your education, learn from it don't do the same mistakes again. Next time you have the 100K they will stay because you can do better decisions!
 
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Roli

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Wow, this thread picked up more than I was expecting. Thank you everyone that offered advice, I read each of your posts numerous times. I agree I need a change in lifestyle for sure. I would like to note I wasn't always living with these bad habits like some posters are implying, it was only after my business was drastically declining. I had some work ethic before or else I wouldn't have made the money in the first place. The problem I face now is that even though I know what I have to do and want to do, I have no "drive" to do those things, and some posters explained why that could be which I agree with.

I also agree with @GoGetter24 when he says more stories of people in similar situations would inspire me the most. @Jakawan, @WJK, @Rich Wood have posted such personal stories. Other posters like @Roli, @Chx, @juba.hadjal, and @PetePreneur have posted VERY actionable advice that I will start implementing immediately.

I'm really glad about this, I was thinking about you just this morning hoping that you get the strength to pull yourself out of it.

Take all the good advice and in a year you'll look back at this as a growing experience.

Keep smiling, it's a powerful drug! :)
 

MelanitaD

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Hey there @SweetTooth,

Two ideas for you:

1) Brush one tooth. In the book Habits, Charles Duhigg talks about setting a ridiculously easy daily goal in an area where you want to change behavior. So let's say you want to brush your teeth every night (so you're brushing twice a day). He says only commit to brushing at least one tooth every night. When you're tired ask yourself, "can I really not brush ONE tooth? Come on!" and then, once your toothbrush is in your mouth, you'll likely brush all teeth. What is the equivalent of "brushing one tooth" that you can commit to every day - a task that's so doable it's embarrassing if you say you can't do it.

2) Can you set two complimentary daily goals in other areas of your life where you have a little more momentum (e.g. hit the gym daily, make a green smoothie daily, or compliment your child daily, etc) and start implementing those? Sometimes, I just need to have something to replace the loafing with as a first step to making better choices with my time. That way, you can tell yourself "Netflix is off the table... Looks like we're washing a load of laundry." This won't work forever, but it may give you enough momentum to switch gears.

Good luck to you.
 

HackVenture

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I think you've probably burnt out from working super hard to make that first $100k, I don't doubt your ability and drive at all.

My suggestion is to find someone to work with, who could share your woes, hustle together, pay off your debts, create a follow-along here and let us help you, get your fire back again.

Losing $100k could make you more motivated than ever or it could cause it to go to zero.

Try to choose the former.
 
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jmusic

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Lots of very good comments here...

Every time I feel like that, without motivation or energy, I get around it by f!@#$% GETTING MAD.

Get mad! Don't take it anymore!

Watch, re-watch, act.

I prefer to think of it as getting determined. Light that fire under your behind!!

I know this might be action faking... but a good movie to watch that's sure to light your fire is Rocky III. After II Rocky was on top of the world, then gets the #@)% kicked out of him by Clubber Lang (Mr. T). Creed knocks the sense back in him...

 

The EL Maven

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This is classic learned helplessness. Unfortunately for me, I lived there before - more than once.

The gist is, you work hard and then something that you perceive to be out of your control takes away your just triumph and if this happens in a specific way, your will and enthusiasm go bye bye.

Here's the way back, from someone who has made their way back.
1. At least intellectually admit to yourself that the way you're responding doesn't reflect the reality that YOU and ONLY YOU will determine your destination in life.
A sailboat doesn't reach its destination because it had tail winds the entire time, no-no, the crew had to adjust and make changes if the wind works against them - and eventually they reach their goal. It's the set of the sail that determines the destination, NOT the direction of the wind.
2. Pick something easy that you can make a goal. Make sure it's an actual goal that takes some form of work (quitting something won't work for this unless you're actively replacing the behavior) - then get started on achieving that goal.
3. Find something else you can control and go after that.

Pretty soon you will have some success momentum. Use that momentum to carry you. Build it as much as needed with small victories until you're ready to make the bigger moves.

Set a goal. Then another. Always, ALWAYS have a goal. Without a goal, you're the yacht floating in the wind.
 

Late Bloomer

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The US seems very lenient on bankruptcy though. In other countries it's pretty common to have restrictions like not being able to leave the country without permission, losing access to credit cards, needing permission to open bank accounts, needing permission for certain expenditures, etc. It's usually a big weight until it's discharged, not just "OK do-over, slate insta-clean!".

When I worked in the IT department at a bank, I learned a lot about this. If there is a reorganization plan, the plan must be followed. If there is a plan to wipe out the debt, it's either very difficult or very expensive for the next several years to get credit, or major loans. If there's not a current passport, tax debts might block the ability to get a new one.
 
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Late Bloomer

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SweetTooth, you're in a rut. To get out of a rut, do something different.

McDonald's probably opens at 5:30 am for breakfast. How about if you're there at 6? Have your only coffee of the day with your breakfast, read the newspaper, do the crossword and the Sudoku to keep your mind sharp. Then get out pen and paper (leave the computer at home, turn off phone data) and journal a while, with free refills, to clear the clutter out of your mind about what went wrong and what would need to change for things to go right. Also, write a page about what you currently see as the pluses and minuses of succeeding again at ecommerce, this time intentionally, compared to working the breakfast shift at McDonald's for the rest of your life.

Have a workout at 8 am. Swim, bike, run, gym, aerobics class, whatever works for you. Listen to totally inspiring music.

Make your work day start at 10. If you have nothing to do and nobody to serve or help and no ideas, get out your pen and paper and write out the words, "So far today I have nothing to do, nobody to serve or help, and no ideas. Could there be something better than this for me by tomorrow?" Eventually you will have some idea of someone you can help and something you can do.

Get online for the first time at 1 pm. 20 minutes for email, forum, and other messages, only the ones that can help you get healthy, alert, focused, making money, and helping other people. Everything else can wait. Then an hour for something you can watch or read or listen to, that helps you reset your mindset. I recommend the podcasts and videos from MJ, Andy Black, Fox, and Eliquid. If you think of something you want to comment on or ask them about, write it down as part of your plan for what you'll do tomorrow at 1 pm.

Take a half hour walk at 2:30, no headphones, to clear your mind and organize your thoughts. If you encounter any friendly dogs or cats along the way, stop to pet them.

Sometime between 3 and dinner, do something to help someone who you can't realistically expect will ever be able to pay you back or bring you any fame.

After dinner, chill out with whatever silly Internet, TV shows, etc. is fun for you, guilt-free... remembering that you have a business breakfast appointment at 6 am tomorrow morning.
 

chuckypita

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Go for a walk.

Every day.

15 minutes minimum.

Your brain will function better during your period of exercise and you'll be able to think better. Emotions are getting the best of you right now. Don't let the negativity drown out WHO YOU ARE.
 

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