How to tell my slowlane parents about fastlane without making them sad about their wasted life?

[Tharus]

My dopamine trips and verbal word salads made my parents eyes gloss over...

When I was able to actually somewhat support myself, and show them, they didn't question me much
even if I offered answers they would say "we can see you are doing well".

I learned early on not look down on others because I was "fastlane"
my parents "slowlane" put food in the house and roof over my head.

I don't fully understand the fastlane but I for now I believe it's more of an mindset than a status.

 

[Knugs]

Hello, Fastlaners.
To administrators: I was unsure about the forum part to select for this post. If the forum category "Scripted dogma" fits better for the following post, please move it over there.

My father is 67 years old and lived off the slowlane.
He yet seems like a content person. That is because he does has not yet faced the naked truth.

He asked me, what the contents of "the millionaire fastlane " are, because he wonders why I love that book so much and what special things make me love it.

I carefully answered, to avoid personally hurting him about the fact that he lived off the slowlane J-O-B scam:

"A good income source is not chained to time, rather to performance, except for lazy people, who earn as much as the more hard-working JOBbers."

If he wants to know more about the DeMarco books, how do I either tell the truth without making him feel bad as a 67-year-old slowlaner, or alternatively hide the truth?
He can hardly start a fastlane at 67 yers of age, that's what I do.
But if he finds out, how he missed out on a better way of living, he will probably get very sad. I will however make sure, that the rest of his life will be as beautiful as possible.

You sound condescending and if you continue using these words to explain the book to your dad, you will certainly receive a stiff defensive response.

You are lucky your parents are interested in the book. Talk about CENTS, business and the things that MJ teach. Don't rant about slow lane or J.O.B. or why he according to your words wasted his life.

 

[luniac]

at least your father aint like my mother, she says im in a cult and refuses to even touch the book LOL!

 

[Tharus]

at least your father aint like my mother, she says im in a cult and refuses to even touch the book LOL!

Cult? Isn't that a bit much lol

 

[MJ DeMarco]

at least your father aint like my mother, she says im in a cult and refuses to even touch the book LOL!

If pursuing freedom from a slave system is a cult, then she'd be right.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[luniac]

its all good, my eventual success will win her over.

 

[Supercar]

OP, at 22yo you are too young to have ideas that will be considered seriosly by your 67yo father. You can tell him whatever you want, but he will still believe in whatever he is more familiar with.

At 67yo, a parent lives not in the present or the future but most likely in the past. You said he seems content, and I am sure he is. What will make him happy is that you are living your life the way you want to, whether fastlane or slowlane.

Also, just because you have learned about the fastlane, it does not mean that your life is automatically guaranteed to be better than the life that your father had.

He liked his life. Tell him what you've learned. But there is not need to tell him that the life that he had was horrible in comparison to the life that you are going to have. You simply do not and cannot know.

 

[Supercar]

And if your father would not be 67, I would bet my left arm you are 12-14 year old (just a side note).

Good point. The OP definitely soulds like he hasn't grown up yet. Perhaps 22 was a typo.

I am not betting any of my body parts, but I think @Galaxy16 is indeed 16. Barely so.

 

[Galaxy16]

You sound condescending and if you continue using these words to explain the book to your dad, you will certainly receive a stiff defensive response.

You are lucky your parents are interested in the book. Talk about CENTS, business and the things that MJ teach. Don't rant about slow lane or J.O.B. or why he according to your words wasted his life.

Good point. The OP definitely soulds like he hasn't grown up yet. Perhaps 22 was a typo.

I am not betting any of my body parts, but I think @Galaxy16 is indeed 16. Barely so.

Very funny .
But I wish I was.

 

[Galaxy16]

You sound condescending and if you continue using these words to explain the book to your dad, you will certainly receive a stiff defensive response.

You are lucky your parents are interested in the book. Talk about CENTS, business and the things that MJ teach. Don't rant about slow lane or J.O.B. or why he according to your words wasted his life.

It was a pretty well-paid job, but still trading time against money.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Jugg]

Erm, wow, sounds like your dad is just curious, why not just treat this as a father-and-son-man's-talk-about-life-in-general conversation that it should be?

Some of the nicest and most contented people I know aren't fastlane people and there's absolutely nothing wrong and nothing "superior" about fastlane if it's not something they're interested in.

 

[Jedwab]

You guessed it.
I know, it is tragic.

Sarcasm...I love sarcasm. But you are just ignorant and obviously have an over inflated ego.

Not really quite sure what your original post purpose was - did you really want people here to write you some copy? A "gentle" delivery of the "terrible and upsetting" news for your dad, as you was unable to word it? Or was it just attention seeking?

Good luck with your journey - and I hope you don't fall of your high horse en route.

 

[Galaxy16]

Sarcasm...I love sarcasm. But you are just ignorant and obviously have an over inflated ego.

Not really quite sure what your original post purpose was - did you really want people here to write you some copy? A "gentle" delivery of the "terrible and upsetting" news for your dad, as you was unable to word it? Or was it just attention seeking?

Good luck with your journey - and I hope you don't fall of your high horse en route.

Thank you.

I was seeking for a way to tell him about the contents of this book without making him feel upset that he traded time against money for many years and that he lived the slowlane.
He earned relatively well, well above an average employee (I am not sure how much exactly, but probably somewhere around €5500/month or €66000/year, which is twice as high as Germany's average ), but not well enough to be financially free and disregarding price tags.

I am glad that people are criticising each other too, because this is am entrepreneur forum, where people are expected to handle criticism.

 

[Supercar]

I am glad that people are criticising each other too, because this is am entrepreneur forum, where people are expected to handle criticism.

Criticising each other? So far I've only seen a criticism of you, your attitude and your ignorance.

I think everyone in this thread agrees that it is you who needs help. Your father will be just fine, do not worry about him. Worry about yourself. Fastlane does not forgive ignorance and arrogance the way the slowlane does. Being unable to understand what people are telling you, I think you might be much better off living in the slowlane.

 

[Guest92dX]

Don't. Just don't.

They fed you, clothed you, and it doesn't sound like they hurt you emotionally or physically.

--

All you have to tell is him is that the book is helping you do everything you can to improve your life.

It's not a magic pill, cure all, or even the REAL reason WHY you're even trying or already running a business.

If the book is the only reason you're even doing your best to start a fastlane business then you NEED more advice from your 67 your father because you don't have a good reason.

He's survived longer than you and provided more value to you than you can ever hope to pay back.

He knows a lot about providing value. He raised you. He created you. You have value don't you?

Give him value and see him as valuable.

Tell him: this book is showing me how to be as valuable to the world as you are to me. That's what it's about at its core. The business is just a vehicle.

You can create all sorts of assets that aren't a business that are fastlane.

Inventions, software, and real estate come to mind.

Invent a teleportation device? No need for a business. You can sell or license the patent.

Built a mansion with your barehands in prime real estate area? Sell it for millions.

Invented a new software crucial to future human existence? Don't be surprised when a tech company buys you out pre-revenue. This has happened on multiple occasions.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Iammelissamoore]

What's wrong with loaning him the book?

I was wondering this same point.

Fastlaning has nothing to do with age, there are young people who are very contented with slowlaning regardless of reading TMF and Unscripted (because they think it's too hard or requires too much discomfort) and there are young-at-heart people who adore living life unconventionally, due to the script they knew was abnormal.

Don't be hard on your dad, the economic situation your dad may have been in at your age, may have permitted him the ability to not only work his job, but to also live comfortable enough that extra income may not have been a necessity. As with a lot of us, Fastlaning isn't about big-balling, it's about having the freedom and resources to move how we see fit.

The BEST way to convince your parents about The Fastlane is to build it and live it. Allow them to see you go through your process, build that solid foundation, execute and repeat as you grow. Surely you may not get it in one immediate shot, but, it doesn't mean you have to give up along the way. Matter of fact, giving up on The Fastlane will actually make them believe it is a lie, rather than if you work genuinely hard and put in the time/action to build your success.

Don't be hard on them, they lived their lives in a way which made sense to them, based on the knowledge and resources they had, you shouldn't discredit them for that.

 

[Ninjakid]

I found for me, my interest in the fastlane was born partially from a discontent with my current situation. Not that I was particularly miserable, but I thought being 18 and working in a factory there's more to life, and my potential could be actualized elsewhere.

Learning about entrepreneurship and reading TMF was like a two-way channel. You could almost say TMF was a seed, and my consciousness was the soil. Of course you could have thrown the seed at me, but in order for the knowledge to flourish into anything substantial the conditions in myself had to be optimal.

I've always kind of rejected the script. Even when I was really young and people around me would talk about getting careers and budgeting, I always felt like I would end up doing something more meaningful. I always thought I would be able to buy anything I wanted and enjoy the rare kind of freedom and satisfaction in life that few seem to find.

Anyways, talking too much about myself but here's how it relates to you:

Perhaps your dad is completely content in his life, and never would have had the desire to pursue the fastlane course. If he had, would't he have relentlessly pursued it already?

The strange thing about people is even if given the same opportunities we pursue extraordinarily different paths in life. Your dad is probably more likely to be interested in what you're pursuing than pity himself over his life choices.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

How to tell my slowlane parents about fastlane without making them sad about their wasted life?

This is a judgment about your parents and their so-called "wasted life" ... so can we make a judgment that you're a wasted by-product of your parent's wasted life?

We must be aware of judgements that we project onto other people.

I'm guilty. You're guilty. We're all guilty.

The difference is, we have the self-awareness to think about how we think.

The BEST way to convince your parents about The Fastlane is to build it and live it.

Amen.

As they say, talk is cheap.

Until one brings home the bacon, everyone will be rightfully skeptical.

 

[RobD88]

He can hardly start a fastlane at 67 yers of age, that's what I do.

Not true. You're never too old to start. Charles Flint started IBM at 61. Loan your dad the book and if it ignites a fire in him to take action support and help him on his journey.

 

[Galaxy16]

Criticising each other? So far I've only seen a criticism of you, your attitude and your ignorance.

I think everyone in this thread agrees that it is you who needs help. Your father will be just fine, do not worry about him. Worry about yourself. Fastlane does not forgive ignorance and arrogance the way the slowlane does. Being unable to understand what people are telling you, I think you might be much better off living in the slowlane.

If you think I need some advice, I am listening.

You think I might be much better off living the slowlane. I don't think so. But each be his own.

My father is fine. Maybe I can just tell him plain truth because at the age of 67, one is probably just content.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Galaxy16]

Not true. You're never too old to start. Charles Flint started IBM at 61. Loan your dad the book and if it ignites a fire in him to take action support and help him on his journey.

Very inspiring!

But I will be the family fastlaner. I will make his remaining life excellent.

 

[RobD88]

Very inspiring!

But I will be the family fastlaner. I will make his remaining life excellent.

Good for you. Keep the fire my friend!

 

[Kak]

Sometimes there is no reason to piss in people's cheerios.

On one hand, it is never too late to start... On the other side, some people are very very set in their ways and the best you can do is to be an example of why entrepreneurship works.

I generally don't evangelize people on entrepreneurship anymore. It is typically met with skepticism and equating it to "get rich quick schemes".

What they don't understand is behind every potential large employer, there is a person who started that company.

 

[Kak]

Your attitude almost seems condescending.
Maybe he is content.
Maybe he will be happy for you and proud.
Maybe he's not dead yet and might want to be involved.
Maybe you haven't done much yet and have little cause to be so self righteous.
I would tell him that it's hard for a novice to explain and offer to loan him the book.

I second this... Get some experience, some wins and losses under your belt before you go calling anyone wrong.

 

[happybhoy]

Show don't tell.

 

Dislike ads? Become a Fastlane member: Subscribe today and surround yourself with winners and millionaire mentors, not those broke friends who only want to drink beer and play video games. :-)

[Izcescape]

Even if he feels unhappy about having lived his life in the Slowlane, I am sure he would be happy that you have found the Fastlane.
Besides, he could be a sort of ally for you, even if he lived in the Slowlane, he has life experiences that could definitely guide your Fastlane journey.

 

[Galaxy16]

Show don't tell.

I told him about the sidewalk, not the slowlane, to avoid offense.

 

[TheFrancophile]

To the author of the thread :

I feel for you. But you can't change your parents (or anyone else for that matter) or their way of thinking. Sure, you can tell them about the book and what its author says, but don't even bother trying to convince them that they're wrong. People DON'T want them to change. (Trust me, I've learned this lesson the hard way.)

Instead, try to live YOUR life as you see fit (and follow MJ's advice). When you succeed, the interested people will ask, "What is it that you're reading/doing that has helped you live such a happy life?" Then, you can explain the philosophy to them.

And if people still don't change, be prepared to part ways with them.

 

[Vigilante]

Hello, Fastlaners.
To administrators: I was unsure about the forum part to select for this post. If the forum category "Scripted dogma" fits better for the following post, please move it over there.

My father is 67 years old and lived off the slowlane.
He yet seems like a content person. That is because he does has not yet faced the naked truth.

He asked me, what the contents of "the millionaire fastlane " are, because he wonders why I love that book so much and what special things make me love it.

I carefully answered, to avoid personally hurting him about the fact that he lived off the slowlane J-O-B scam:

"A good income source is not chained to time, rather to performance, except for lazy people, who earn as much as the more hard-working JOBbers."

If he wants to know more about the DeMarco books, how do I either tell the truth without making him feel bad as a 67-year-old slowlaner, or alternatively hide the truth?
He can hardly start a fastlane at 67 yers of age, that's what I do.
But if he finds out, how he missed out on a better way of living, he will probably get very sad. I will however make sure, that the rest of his life will be as beautiful as possible.

Go out and become something. You can teach other people through what you become, not what you say. If you preach something you aren't, you are a hypocrite and a poser. If you preach something you are, you are a teacher. Do first, then teach.

Always remember no matter what your financial status, you're no better than anyone else. A bum and a billionaire have the same worth.