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How to let go of the past

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Anything related to matters of the mind

Lukas WJ

New Contributor
Nov 13, 2021
18
12
I'm 18 but feel like I'm 30. I feel like I've already missed so many opportunities that I can't make up for now. Especially when I look at what others have already achieved at my age and how they behave, I feel bad. Does anyone know any tips? I've already deleted social media as much as I can, because I think that's where you always compare yourself the most.

Edit: And yes i know that im still young and other people realise this only later in life. But this knowledge doesnt solves my problem..
 
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seomatic

Bronze Contributor
Speedway Pass
Jan 24, 2011
207
169
Germany
compare yourself vs. 1 year ago.
If you're in a better position, keep doing what you're doing. If not, turn around 180 degrees.
Never compare yourself to others, it's a recipe for misery. There's always someone with a bigger yacht.
 

Angler

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
Sep 9, 2021
121
261
20
Hey man. I've been there. I'm actually turning 21 soon.

Here's 2 mindset shifts that got me moving. There's also 2 actionable item to take note of.

They're just guides, not rules. You can do whatever works for you.

First, understand that the comparison of yourself with ANYONE except for yourself yesterday, the week before, last year, is a recipe for perpetual misery.

Consider for a moment, do you feel good scrolling through social media feeds? Unless you're on the FLF where people who are kicking a$$, working hard, and sharing their process, other social media platform will turn your brain into slush, suck your soul clean, and turn you into a resentful gremlin.

Why am I not this pretty, successful, happy yada yada yada… Mainstream media is designed to get you hooked, insecure, and be a good consumer. Mess with it without the purpose of producing content, and you might just get doped.

Alas, allow me to use a climbing analogy for my next point.

People have scale mountains and it took them years, decades even. That's their arduous process. That's the stuff they don't share or is too boring for you to read about.

When a green horn begins his own process and look up at all these mountain climbers who are at the top, he has two choice:

1)Think that people before him are inspirational and that one day he too can scale a mountain if he works hard and smart. The question of making it, isn't even on his mind. He knows it will take everything from him to make this climb a success, and it may even it kill him. Winning and summiting the mountain is only a matter of time.

2)Think that these people are built different and he can't possibly try because x excuses. How can I be so dumb and not act sooner? I'm a college drop out, so I don't have the credential. I'm not physically gifted. I'm not ___ enough.

One choice will move you forward and the other choice will stop you where you are, contemplating on lost time, insecurities, and obstacles.

While you complain about your problems, someone else with your problems or even worst is busy making things happen. Winning it big. Dating beautiful people. Living life.

Why can't that be you?

Actionable item #1:
To be able to choose the first choice, you must know what you want. It is imperative that you be honest with your soul, or else you face the consequence of regret. What mountains do you want to scale? Why do you want to do so? Who are you inherently? What is it you're willing to die for to reach the top? What are your values? What don't you mind giving 100%, no 150% of your every fiber towards? To answer these question is to know yourself more. Knowing and trusting yourself is the first step of EVERY successful process.

Skip this step and you will build your entire future on some else's vision and dreams.

The only true loser is the loser that refuses to acknowledge he is one currently and not willing to do whatever it takes to become a winner.
One day you might wake up and see that you're now old, finding yourself saying: did I really worked on some booger dream my entire life?

Recommended read if you need some guiding principle: Personality Isn't Permanent. And all of MJ books if you haven't finished them.

Second, we don't live in a perfect world.

There's always a need somewhere and it's only a matter if you have the skill and angle of execution to fill it.

That being the case, there will always be new opportunities sprouting like pimples. The question is

whether you've put in the time to create a foundation to capitalize on these opportunities.

This foundation includes your mindset, skills, and vision. All of which, you can build starting today. You will suck, I still suck. But who cares? I know that we all start somewhere. Sucking means you're at least putting on the running shoe instead of moping and waiting for a chance.

I don't know what business you want to start. What things you want to accomplish. And what skills you already have.

If you reflect enough, you already know where you want to start digging for your diamonds.

That being said, I have a confession.

I use to get depressed over lost opportunities too. I would try things here and there, half a$$ the execution because I didn't believe in myself, and start over with something else.

Most of these execution, I was busy thinking about what I want instead of what other people wanted. And well, no one cared about what I wanted. LOL.

The world is not a utopia. Everyone has their own problem. I used to mourn over my own problems instead of solving mine, then others. That's the true problem. Nothing changed for me, until I chose to resolve these inner conflicts instead of playing victim, and made a choice to become someone else's hero.

You can help one person solve a particular pain point, then see if you can repeat the process with someone else.

Do it enough, and you will see that you have a business running.

And I know, I sound altruistic. But trust me, everyone is selfish. That's the beauty of it.

It's how you act while being selfish that enables you to become a producer. A value creator.

I admit am motivated by my own selfishness to write this post because I want it to help you. This is my want. This is my selfish desire. The thing is if you can be selfish in your drive, motivation, and vision, yet be selfless in getting your product, service, or idea to serve other people,

YOU will stop feeling like a loser.

And I hope this post helps you. You're the market. You get to decide. I just make content I think can help.

That being said, how can you feel like a loser when you fix someone else's problem? All it cost is a little time on my hand to write up this post, but maybe it's what needed to get your gears turning.

That being said of course, easier said then done.

Here's actionable item #2:
Get your diet and health in check. Say no to instance-dopamine spike sources... mainstream media, adult videos, snacking. YOU NAME IT! YOU KNOW WHAT gets you hooked and is bad for mind.

Test to see if your testosterone level is balance. Record all of this somewhere, preferably a notebook because this will be the baseline. Then make it a goal to eat well, and kill it at the gym. Have the goal to look like Brad Pitt or something to work towards. Work out 3 times a week for a month, eat well, and see your body transform. This should be done simultaneously as action item #1. Do this for a month and your mind and body will change.

All of these thing get you to 1) solve your own physical and mental problems 2) build self-esteem.

Seeing that you can say no to the intoxicating things, get sexy, and healthy at the same time will increase your confidence. It will get you to want to build something :)

GOOD LUCK.
 
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BizyDad

My 1st biz sold paper planes. It folded...
FASTLANE INSIDER
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Oct 7, 2019
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Become the kind of person who creates even more opportunities.

Realize that there's never going to be enough time in the day to capitalize on all the opportunities that come in your life.

So stop being sad about the opportunities you couldn't live up to. Focus on the opportunities you are creating.
 

saint_kilda

New Contributor
May 12, 2020
9
6
Australia
I think the way you're approaching comparison isn't useful to your goals, whatever they are.

In my opinion as humans it's in our nature to compare, we can't help it. It's an unconscious instinct we can't control. However, what we can control is our perception. When you see someone who is doing "better" than you (which unless you're literally living their life you have no idea what else they're going through anyway), does that demotivate you or inspire you?

And only you can answer that for yourself.
 

JohnFuture

Contributor
Feb 4, 2018
47
33
28
Europe
compare yourself vs. 1 year ago.
If you're in a better position, keep doing what you're doing. If not, turn around 180 degrees.
Never compare yourself to others, it's a recipe for misery. There's always someone with a bigger yacht.
Wise words! "compare yourself vs. 1 year ago."

Thank you!
 
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ExaltedLife

Silver Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
Nov 10, 2015
395
779
30
I'm 18 but feel like I'm 30. I feel like I've already missed so many opportunities that I can't make up for now. Especially when I look at what others have already achieved at my age and how they behave, I feel bad. Does anyone know any tips? I've already deleted social media as much as I can, because I think that's where you always compare yourself the most.

Edit: And yes i know that im still young and other people realise this only later in life. But this knowledge doesnt solves my problem..
I'll be 30 in about a week and a half. One thing that you have to accept is that you're always going to miss opportunities. It's in the nature of things. If you focus on one thing, that means saying no to 10,000 others.

There's really no point in dwelling on it. If you are, its probably because you haven't decided to focus on one thing yet. Take it from me...do that soon.

Focus on one business. In 10 years, you'll be 28, and probably very good at it. If it's a fastlane business, you'll probably be a multimillionaire.

But if you're like me at 18, you're probably thinking "10 years!? Eff that, that takes forever. Only talentless fools need 10 years to succeed".

Maybe you're right. But if you want to succeed, at some point you gotta DECIDE what to pursue, and stick with it until
feedback loops occur. Maybe its the thing that gets you rich, maybe not. Fail, learn, get better, work at it some more, repeat.

You have a pretty sweet resource here at the fastlane forum. And its easier than ever to learn any skill. In the 12 years since I was 18 the amount of useful content on the internet has probably doubled if not tripled.

Anywya the point is, instead of living your life based on memories of the past, build a life based on a vision of the future. Your vision of what you want it to be like.

But like I said, you'll have to focus. Long term that means sticking with something until it succeeds or it has proven to be a bad idea. Short term, it means doing the work. If you deleted social media you'll probably soon be better at focused work than most kids your age. I recommend meditation to inprove that skill. Good luck.
 

Lukas WJ

New Contributor
Nov 13, 2021
18
12
Become the kind of person who creates even more opportunities.

Realize that there's never going to be enough time in the day to capitalize on all the opportunities that come in your life.

So stop being sad about the opportunities you couldn't live up to. Focus on the opportunities you are creating.
Thanks for the answer but i think that is easier said than done, because i know it but cant ignore this thoughts
 

Lukas WJ

New Contributor
Nov 13, 2021
18
12
I'll be 30 in about a week and a half. One thing that you have to accept is that you're always going to miss opportunities. It's in the nature of things. If you focus on one thing, that means saying no to 10,000 others.

There's really no point in dwelling on it. If you are, its probably because you haven't decided to focus on one thing yet. Take it from me...do that soon.

Focus on one business. In 10 years, you'll be 28, and probably very good at it. If it's a fastlane business, you'll probably be a multimillionaire.

But if you're like me at 18, you're probably thinking "10 years!? Eff that, that takes forever. Only talentless fools need 10 years to succeed".

Maybe you're right. But if you want to succeed, at some point you gotta DECIDE what to pursue, and stick with it until
feedback loops occur. Maybe its the thing that gets you rich, maybe not. Fail, learn, get better, work at it some more, repeat.

You have a pretty sweet resource here at the fastlane forum. And its easier than ever to learn any skill. In the 12 years since I was 18 the amount of useful content on the internet has probably doubled if not tripled.

Anywya the point is, instead of living your life based on memories of the past, build a life based on a vision of the future. Your vision of what you want it to be like.

But like I said, you'll have to focus. Long term that means sticking with something until it succeeds or it has proven to be a bad idea. Short term, it means doing the work. If you deleted social media you'll probably soon be better at focused work than most kids your age. I recommend meditation to inprove that skill. Good luck.
Wow, thanks for the answer!
 
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Ivan Koretskyy

Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Oct 2, 2021
26
45
If you had to fight a version of yourself that’s one year younger, would you win? If not, work harder. If yes, keep progressing.
 

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