This, a million times.
People are different. I'm 6'4". If you're not, it's not because you're "not trying hard enough" or you're "lazy." That's just how you're BUILT, and there's not a lot you can do to change it. And everybody understands that implicitly.
But the challenges that ADHD people face -- which ARE F*cking brutal -- aren't so visible or obvious. To "normies" it LOOKS like you're just screwing around, you're lazy, whatever. And it's typical for parents, partners, bosses, etc to assume the worst and judge you harshly for it. Meanwhile you might be struggling as hard as you can to do better, and failing. ADHD people typically have horrific self-image problems because the key people in their lives are always on their case, and because THEY figure they "ought to" be able to do better. And generally they can't, no matter how hard they try.
My brother (a corner-case type-A overachiever) has lectured me about this dozens of times over the years. It's easy for HIM, so obviously it's easy for me if I would just make an effort. His harangues are usually some variant of "you're just not trying" or "well can't you just." Yes, I CAN just... be focused, be productive, use a system, whatever. I've just never been able to do it consistently. The analogy I use is "Yes, and I can hold my breath. But I can't do it for very long."
My ADHD was a major contributor to my divorce. My ex (another corner-case hyper-productive type) felt I was goldbricking and expecting her to support the family. (Ignoring the fact that I was making a healthy full-time income, AND doing 98% of the child raising, cooking, cleaning, yard work, ...) After she dumped me, I went through a very rough time income-wise -- for several reasons my consulting income almost totally dried up. And I told her "Look, I'm trying to support myself now. And I still can't stay focused enough to finish this project and bill it. I wasn't just trying to freeload off of you."
Long-winded way of saying: @LiveEntrepreneur, you might not be wired well for entrepreneurship. I've realized I'm not. But I didn't want to go back to a job. So I've been self-employed for over 30 years, and I've done pretty darn well for myself, considering what a basket case I am. I could have done SOOOOO much more if I could be better organized and more focused, but I worked with my strengths and weaknesses the best I could. Find what YOUR strengths and passions are, find a job or an occupation that works well with those strengths, and you'll be a lot more likely to succeed.
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