How to fix poor attention to detail and focus?

[garyfritz]

ADHD is an executive function disorder that most people laugh at, ignore, or misunderstand, but for those who genuinely suffer from it - it's F*cking brutal. The best metaphor I've heard is blaming a paraplegic for not being able to walk because they don't 'want it enough', aren't 'motivated enough' or are just 'lazy'.

This, a million times.

People are different. I'm 6'4". If you're not, it's not because you're "not trying hard enough" or you're "lazy." That's just how you're BUILT, and there's not a lot you can do to change it. And everybody understands that implicitly.

But the challenges that ADHD people face -- which ARE F*cking brutal -- aren't so visible or obvious. To "normies" it LOOKS like you're just screwing around, you're lazy, whatever. And it's typical for parents, partners, bosses, etc to assume the worst and judge you harshly for it. Meanwhile you might be struggling as hard as you can to do better, and failing. ADHD people typically have horrific self-image problems because the key people in their lives are always on their case, and because THEY figure they "ought to" be able to do better. And generally they can't, no matter how hard they try.

My brother (a corner-case type-A overachiever) has lectured me about this dozens of times over the years. It's easy for HIM, so obviously it's easy for me if I would just make an effort. His harangues are usually some variant of "you're just not trying" or "well can't you just." Yes, I CAN just... be focused, be productive, use a system, whatever. I've just never been able to do it consistently. The analogy I use is "Yes, and I can hold my breath. But I can't do it for very long."

My ADHD was a major contributor to my divorce. My ex (another corner-case hyper-productive type) felt I was goldbricking and expecting her to support the family. (Ignoring the fact that I was making a healthy full-time income, AND doing 98% of the child raising, cooking, cleaning, yard work, ...) After she dumped me, I went through a very rough time income-wise -- for several reasons my consulting income almost totally dried up. And I told her "Look, I'm trying to support myself now. And I still can't stay focused enough to finish this project and bill it. I wasn't just trying to freeload off of you."

Long-winded way of saying: @LiveEntrepreneur, you might not be wired well for entrepreneurship. I've realized I'm not. But I didn't want to go back to a job. So I've been self-employed for over 30 years, and I've done pretty darn well for myself, considering what a basket case I am. I could have done SOOOOO much more if I could be better organized and more focused, but I worked with my strengths and weaknesses the best I could. Find what YOUR strengths and passions are, find a job or an occupation that works well with those strengths, and you'll be a lot more likely to succeed.

 

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[Walter Hay]

I've had time's in the past where I'd review this document that I need to send out, 5-8 times before sending it out and then only realized after I sent it that there were still mistakes.

Ever heard the saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt"?

This is a very real problem in the website building and copywriting industries. When viewing websites I frequently see evidence of this contempt for common sense editing procedures.

When someone has prepared a document he/she already knows what is written, with the result that while the author is reviewing it the familiarity with those words and the structure of the text leads the author to gloss over the words and the text structure.

The safest remedy is to have another person critically edit the document. A paid editor is worth considering.

I am writing from experience. In my first business importing B2B promotional badges, my son and I carried out extensive advertising including multi page brochures for direct mail.

Our policy was that copy and designs that I wrote and prepared were reviewed critically by my son and those written and prepared by him were reviewed critically by me.

The result was that our Yellow Pages (YP) print advertisements (according to YP monitoring) yielded a response rate 11 times better than any competitors' ads, and our direct mail letters consistently yielded a response rate exceeding 4%.

I am convinced that our in-house critiques helped achieve those results.

Walter

 

[DNA]

I would recommend you start meditating. You can start with as little as 1 minute of focused concentration on your breathing, and specifically the air flow on the tip of your nostrils. You will notice how difficult it is to stay there, so aim to notice that you are distracted and then return to your breathing. Do this again tomorrow. And the day after. Make it a habit. Then make it 2 minutes, then 3 and so on. It will help you. It has helped me a lot and changed my life. I can meditate now for up to 20mins without a single thought. That's FOCUS and you will find it easier to stay focused on everything you do in life as you become more and more mindful...

 

[LiveEntrepreneur]

I would recommend you start meditating. You can start with as little as 1 minute of focused concentration on your breathing, and specifically the air flow on the tip of your nostrils. You will notice how difficult it is to stay there, so aim to notice that you are distracted and then return to your breathing. Do this again tomorrow. And the day after. Make it a habit. Then make it 2 minutes, then 3 and so on. It will help you. It has helped me a lot and changed my life. I can meditate now for up to 20mins without a single thought. That's FOCUS and you will find it easier to stay focused on everything you do in life as you become more and more mindful...

I did it a while ago, didn't really see much benefit, but I'll give it another try and see how I go.

 

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[Angler]

Do you know what triggers you to get into the zone usually?

It's the feeling after a workout where you have laser focus.
It's the feeling when you're plowing through non-stimulating work and it finally pays off.
It's the feeling you get when a cute girl opens up after you got rejected 30x before you talk to her.

It's a feeling of tunnel vision and nothing else seem to matter except the thing you are currently doing.

Personally, I suggest you find what can stimulate you to get into this laser focus zone. This is a short-term gimmick, not a long term solution by the way. For some people it may be laying down on a hammock reading. For others it may be listening to loud music or even going for a walk. Regardless, when you are doing a task and your mind starts to wonder, find something to stimulate yourself and that should give you the kick start to plow some more work.

The long term strategy is what the other posts have mention. Find something meaningful or rather something that you don't need external motivation to work on(usually, you don't have to change much about the thing you're working on but rather the mindset behind why you're doing it)

 

[hammiesink]

@JAJT

Can you describe your ADHD? I'm drawn to this thread because I seem to have serious focal issues. As others have pointed out, on the surface level I feel and look "unmotivated." I just don't seem to have the energy to do anything productive. Everything I do feels sluggish. Anytime I try to start something productive I seem to just relent to time wasters or slightly productive distractions. I joined the Premium FL Forum and have yet to do anything with it! But is it just lack of motivation, or maybe depression? Some descriptions of adult ADHD have resonated with me, but I'm unsure. I'll ask my therapist for sure, but just curious what other descriptions of ADHD are like.

 

[A-sop]

I remember hearing a trick that Ben Franklin used. When he finished writing he would take the pages, and put them away in his desk. Then the next morning he would look them over to do his corrections, so he could view them with fresh eyes.

fresh eyes for sure - which also implies you need to get your shit done well in advance, as we all no and only some of us do

 

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[JAJT]

@hammiesink - check out the book "Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell.

It's a relatively short book that describes various manifestations of ADHD far better than I ever could. It really helped me fill in some gaps when I was looking into it for my son, and made me realize that maybe I also had an issue.

 

[RussRussman18]

I'll copy paste this from a post I made in another thread:

In terms of relevance to entrepreneurship, learning and applying the science of dopamine metabolism is the most useful thing.

Most people who "struggle with motivation" have a disfunctional dopamine metabolism.

There are even many people who think they have some kind of cognitive ability issue, who actually just have a dopamine issue, because many functions of the brain require a certain net dopaminergic factor to activate. These people supplement with cholinergics like Alpha GPC, racetams etc and feel that they are 'non-responders,' but the truth is their problem was dopamine all along.

"Dopamine fasting" has been popularized as a way to deal with this, but for many people this will not be enough, and they will need to supplement with vitamins and specific nootropics over a long period of time to correct their problem which was caused by years or decades of an unnatural lifestyle which warped their brain.

Some supplements to look into would be cordyceps mushroom, inositol, ALCAR, uridine monophosphate, l-tyrosine, 9-me-bc (careful with that one)

Fasting is great and has been talked about a lot on the forum

Cold showers can also be helpful but they should only be done every other day or you will become cold adapted and it won't work.

Testosterone is another essential part of the dopamine equation you should look at, but it's too complex of a topic to get into here, and has been discussed ad nauseum elsewhere.

Stimulants can be used as a "band-aid solution" in the interim as you heal. But, contrary to most American perspectives on psychology, they should not be viewed as a long term solution. I do not recommend using stimulants more often than every other day. The mildest and OTC options are xanthine-type, like caffeine, teacrine, dynamine, and theobromine. Amphetamines and methylphenidate are effective and relatively easy to get prescribed, but they have many side effects and will slow down the dopamine metabolism repair. The afinils are a better option for most people; adrafinil does not require a prescription but is not as effective as modafinil and armodafinil. It would be a battle to get prescribed an afinil for ADHD, so it would be better to say you need it for shift work or a sleep disorder. Some people have success with Mucuna Pruriens, but be careful with L-dopa. Again, keep in mind these are short term solutions while you take steps to repair.

 

[hammiesink]

Thanks, all.

Another interesting topic that recently came to my attention is written about by Johann Hari in Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again. Basically he suggests that modern life has stacked the deck against us. Not just social media and internet, but lack of sleep, too much sugar, etc. His talk about getting into a "flow state" resonates with me.

 

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[Metz]

I don't know if this is a joke or not, but as someone with diagnosed ADHD and a son with ADHD - medication has literally been the "missing link" in my efforts to overcome the issues the OP faces.

ADHD is an executive function disorder that most people laugh at, ignore, or misunderstand, but for those who genuinely suffer from it - it's F*cking brutal. The best metaphor I've heard is blaming a paraplegic for not being able to walk because they don't 'want it enough', aren't 'motivated enough' or are just 'lazy'.

That's not how physical disabilities work and it's not how mental disabilities work. The brain isn't ethereal - it's a physical thing. It can be "broken" just as much as your liver, heart or lungs can be. You just can't "see" the issues of the brain so everyone just assumes mental problems can all be solved with intangible things like positive thinking, reading, or being motivated enough.

It's depressing and anxiety-inducing as all hell to go through the kind of existential crisis that comes from a complete mismatch between what you want, what you know you're physically capable of, what you understand, and being unable to mentally get your shit together in order to actually do it. Especially when everyone else around you is doing it just fine. "Look at Bob, he was a lazy sack of shit who got his life together and is successful now - why can't I do that?". Well probably because Bob doesn't have a mental problem - he has a working brain and only needed a kick in the a$$ and a wake up call to consider actually using it properly for a change.

To be clear - I'm not a "pill-pusher" by any stretch - I'm a BIG fan of exhausting other means before introducing medication to your life. Most people's issues in life can be "cured" with regular exercise, proper diet, and good sleep. And some do just need to stop being lazy and get their shit together. It makes no sense to jump to medication when you still eat fast food 9 times a week and sleep 4 hours a night. That's the definition of "I've tried nothing and nothing's working!"

As someone who just got diagnosed with ADHD after 19 YEARS of being bounced around from different therapists who only focused on the anxiety and depression aspect of my mental health (which those are usually comorbid with ADHD and can effectively mask it), just wanted to say thank you @JAJT because THIS.

Even my post history talking about multiple projects and trying to move things forward, a lot of it was me just trying to cope with executive dysfunction because I figured "fine, if I can't focus on Project A, at least I have Projects B - G to fall back on and cycle through." But, of course, a lot of growth (especially with business) relies on consistency so even though I can have some semblance of consistency on the long-term, it's not consistent enough to make any difference -- kinda like doing a single set of push-ups once a year is all nice, but a single set of push-ups daily is gonna make a much bigger difference.

Back to OP though, @LiveEntrepreneur if you can (and if you're unsure), I'd highly suggest getting screened for ADHD just to rule out if your executive dysfunction stems from that. Everyone deals with it at some point to some extent but if it's a chronic nothing-I-do-works-no-matter-how-hard-I-try kinda situation rather than an acute situation from time to time.. well.. like I said, it's better to identify the source of the issue rather than just try to cover symptoms.

That said, a lot of the advice given in this thread's useful. But for me, whenever I tried things like meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy (i.e. being able to kinda observe yourself and identify behaviors and triggers), and a whole bunch of other tools, it always felt like there was some other obstacle lingering in the mist keeping me from using these tools as effectively as possible. When I started applying ADHD to the equation though, EVERYTHING started to make so much more sense and I've been maneuvering that much better -- and that's before starting medication (which I'll be on a non-stim med beginning next week so Adderall or Ritalin aren't the only options).

Just my two cents.

 

[DougRMR]

This, a million times.

People are different. I'm 6'4". If you're not, it's not because you're "not trying hard enough" or you're "lazy." That's just how you're BUILT, and there's not a lot you can do to change it. And everybody understands that implicitly.

But the challenges that ADHD people face -- which ARE F*cking brutal -- aren't so visible or obvious. To "normies" it LOOKS like you're just screwing around, you're lazy, whatever. And it's typical for parents, partners, bosses, etc to assume the worst and judge you harshly for it. Meanwhile you might be struggling as hard as you can to do better, and failing. ADHD people typically have horrific self-image problems because the key people in their lives are always on their case, and because THEY figure they "ought to" be able to do better. And generally they can't, no matter how hard they try.

My brother (a corner-case type-A overachiever) has lectured me about this dozens of times over the years. It's easy for HIM, so obviously it's easy for me if I would just make an effort. His harangues are usually some variant of "you're just not trying" or "well can't you just." Yes, I CAN just... be focused, be productive, use a system, whatever. I've just never been able to do it consistently. The analogy I use is "Yes, and I can hold my breath. But I can't do it for very long."

My ADHD was a major contributor to my divorce. My ex (another corner-case hyper-productive type) felt I was goldbricking and expecting her to support the family. (Ignoring the fact that I was making a healthy full-time income, AND doing 98% of the child raising, cooking, cleaning, yard work, ...) After she dumped me, I went through a very rough time income-wise -- for several reasons my consulting income almost totally dried up. And I told her "Look, I'm trying to support myself now. And I still can't stay focused enough to finish this project and bill it. I wasn't just trying to freeload off of you."

Long-winded way of saying: @LiveEntrepreneur, you might not be wired well for entrepreneurship. I've realized I'm not. But I didn't want to go back to a job. So I've been self-employed for over 30 years, and I've done pretty darn well for myself, considering what a basket case I am. I could have done SOOOOO much more if I could be better organized and more focused, but I worked with my strengths and weaknesses the best I could. Find what YOUR strengths and passions are, find a job or an occupation that works well with those strengths, and you'll be a lot more likely to succeed.

I can relate to this very, very much. I also use the metaphor you use a lot about asking the legless man to try and run harder. People don't understand, and most importantly, DON'T care when you have ADD. People have asked me if I'm on drugs, why I'm so lazy, why don't I do this, why I don't do that, that I don't care enough etc. when they don't realize I'm working at like 110% of my will power lol While some do it with the genuine desire to help, most do it for the power trip of feeling smarter than you or pity. It really F*cking sucks. It also doesn't help that saying you have ADD is often seen as excuse making or retaliated with: "So what? I have it too!"

However, I can say this: if I love what I'm doing or if I know the investment will be worth it, I can focus for ungodly amounts of hours. Of course ADD will always be there but for someone like me, who's always spaced out, it feels like being on Aderall.

I also take great pains to make everything incredibly hard for me to forget. Meaning, I'll write everything (and I mean, EVERYTHING) down. From brushing my teeth, to a job task, to calling a client, to cooking a meal. If somebody tells me something I have to do, no matter how simple, I tell them to hold on so I can get a pen and paper. That has helped me a shit ton and I have actually gotten good feedback from my co-workers because of the improvement I've made. I also don't let my mind off the one task I started, no matter how pressing the other task is (unless it's an emergency). I've made a lot of improvement but my weakness is that if I get bored with a task, my mind automatically disengages and something that should be done in a certain amount of time takes a bit longer because I have to constantly nudge my focus back to what I was doing.

I hope this helps other fellow ADD peeps. It really sucks to have this, especially with the lack of empathy it receives (probably even less than depression) from the average person. I try my best to not let this become an excuse to my progress since I'm much better than a few years back. One thing I still struggle with, though, is the self-esteem aspect of it. I consider myself to have healthy self-confidence but it can be brutal to receive non-stop jabs, comments and ridicule because of a condition I can't control. And I love banter but it can really get exhausting.

 

[LiveEntrepreneur]

As someone who just got diagnosed with ADHD after 19 YEARS of being bounced around from different therapists who only focused on the anxiety and depression aspect of my mental health (which those are usually comorbid with ADHD and can effectively mask it), just wanted to say thank you @JAJT because THIS.

Even my post history talking about multiple projects and trying to move things forward, a lot of it was me just trying to cope with executive dysfunction because I figured "fine, if I can't focus on Project A, at least I have Projects B - G to fall back on and cycle through." But, of course, a lot of growth (especially with business) relies on consistency so even though I can have some semblance of consistency on the long-term, it's not consistent enough to make any difference -- kinda like doing a single set of push-ups once a year is all nice, but a single set of push-ups daily is gonna make a much bigger difference.

Back to OP though, @LiveEntrepreneur if you can (and if you're unsure), I'd highly suggest getting screened for ADHD just to rule out if your executive dysfunction stems from that. Everyone deals with it at some point to some extent but if it's a chronic nothing-I-do-works-no-matter-how-hard-I-try kinda situation rather than an acute situation from time to time.. well.. like I said, it's better to identify the source of the issue rather than just try to cover symptoms.

That said, a lot of the advice given in this thread's useful. But for me, whenever I tried things like meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy (i.e. being able to kinda observe yourself and identify behaviors and triggers), and a whole bunch of other tools, it always felt like there was some other obstacle lingering in the mist keeping me from using these tools as effectively as possible. When I started applying ADHD to the equation though, EVERYTHING started to make so much more sense and I've been maneuvering that much better -- and that's before starting medication (which I'll be on a non-stim med beginning next week so Adderall or Ritalin aren't the only options).

Just my two cents.

That was something that I was considering. I was wondering though if it's true that I have ADHD (I think there is a decent chance I do have it) what changes? The doctor could prescribe me to medication but just wondering if that's a smart idea over the long term. I guess will have to discuss with them.

 

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[Metz]

That was something that I was considering. I was wondering though if it's true that I have ADHD (I think there is a decent chance I do have it) what changes? The doctor could prescribe me to medication but just wondering if that's a smart idea over the long term. I guess will have to discuss with them.

It's different for everyone. I know some people who prefer medication and others who've figured out how to manage very well through stuff like cognitive behavioral therapy. Like I said, even with my recent diagnosis to confirm what I've suspected for years, a few weeks ago when I started entertaining the idea that I might have ADHD, I applied a lot of my coping strategies with that in mind and suddenly, the strategies that didn't work well (since I was focusing on anxiety or depression) started to work REALLY well. I'm still going to try a medication I was on a few years ago for depression (Wellbutrin has been prescribed as an off-label non-stim ADHD medication and it was the only anti-depression med that worked for me -- surprise, surprise) just to see what that's like AND to have a proper dosage for ADHD instead of depression. I don't intend to be on it forever but it takes a bit of experimentation to find what works.

That and any doctor prescribing medication for ADHD worth their salt is going to try to help you figure out other coping strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy; meds for something like this help to an extent, but it also requires lifestyle adjustments and making sure you're doing well across the board, if that makes sense. A friend of mine who was diagnosed as an adult warned that with medication, stimulant or no, can help you focus BUT that focus can be a bit.. jarring. Like you've already got so many thoughts going on in your head, it can potentially amplify some of those thoughts or you're just.. really aware of them.

ALSO, FOR THE RECORD, I'm no doctor nor am I here to advocate for or against medication. I just know that I didn't pursue help harder out of fear I'd have to be on something like Adderall for the rest of my life. Some people swear by it, others found it useful initially but found other ways to cope and do really well after a while without it, and others have found strategies without requiring Adderall at all.

I want to offer a secondary perspective to what @garyfritz said, suggesting that because we lack the ability to focus in a neurotypical way, we're not necessarily "wired well for entrepreneurship." On the contrary, I think that when looking at ourselves in a neurotypical perspective, yeah, we're garbage at it since we don't focus the way we're taught to expect ourselves to. Look at me with my three websites and multiple other half-done projects.. I'm sure a lot of people here can probably relate with that.. however, that's still indicative of this need to create and solve problems and help people, all very entrepreneurial things.

One quasi-super power though in this cognitive mess, however, is our ability to hyperfocus on things that really get our attention. You get an ADHD person interested in something, whether by challenging us (my greatest motivator has always been from some a**hole telling me I can't do something and showing them up every time) or urgency (the "I perform very well near the end of deadlines because I love the pressure) as examples and we just F*cking RUNNNNN with it.

The problem we face, however, is that it's kinda like bottling lightning. Our ability to create and work on shit is phenomenal but all we can do is hold a lightning rod (i.e. incentivize ourselves with something dopamine-rich) and hope lightning strikes (i.e. focus on the thing we need/want). But that being said, when some dick wagon tries to condescend you and tell you things like "well, if you'd just _____" or "you're just too lazy/stupid/incapable to do this basic thing" realize it's not a matter of self-discipline they're asking of you, but of elemental mastery. That said, F*ck 'em. Like I said for me, for better or worse, I allowed myself to stew on those words and it's how I got my black belt, published my first book, graduated college (first in my family to do so AND without loans.. I just worked and studied the whole time which sucked but again, nothing felt better than showing someone up who told me I cuoldn't do something).. the list goes on.

So I guess tl;dr it's a matter of finding the right lightning rod. It won't always be struck (the brain squirrels be fickle) but accepting that we're just wired differently is tremendously helpful because at least you're not bogged down feeling bad because you're talking down to yourself all the time.

I apologize for the rambling too.. just.. feeling super passionate about this stuff because after my own realization, it was a huge lightbulb moment that took away a lot of the barriers that held me back.. chiefly my inherent guilt for existing and not feeling capable enough because, what other people seemed to do easily, I struggled with for whatever reason. And then I'm like.. "Oh.. right.. my nervous system is wired for dopamine in a very different way.. I'm not broken, just different." So now it's a matter of figuring out how to coax my brain to do the thing.

But hey, at least you know you're not alone.

 

[LiveEntrepreneur]

It's different for everyone. I know some people who prefer medication and others who've figured out how to manage very well through stuff like cognitive behavioral therapy. Like I said, even with my recent diagnosis to confirm what I've suspected for years, a few weeks ago when I started entertaining the idea that I might have ADHD, I applied a lot of my coping strategies with that in mind and suddenly, the strategies that didn't work well (since I was focusing on anxiety or depression) started to work REALLY well. I'm still going to try a medication I was on a few years ago for depression (Wellbutrin has been prescribed as an off-label non-stim ADHD medication and it was the only anti-depression med that worked for me -- surprise, surprise) just to see what that's like AND to have a proper dosage for ADHD instead of depression. I don't intend to be on it forever but it takes a bit of experimentation to find what works.

That and any doctor prescribing medication for ADHD worth their salt is going to try to help you figure out other coping strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy; meds for something like this help to an extent, but it also requires lifestyle adjustments and making sure you're doing well across the board, if that makes sense. A friend of mine who was diagnosed as an adult warned that with medication, stimulant or no, can help you focus BUT that focus can be a bit.. jarring. Like you've already got so many thoughts going on in your head, it can potentially amplify some of those thoughts or you're just.. really aware of them.

ALSO, FOR THE RECORD, I'm no doctor nor am I here to advocate for or against medication. I just know that I didn't pursue help harder out of fear I'd have to be on something like Adderall for the rest of my life. Some people swear by it, others found it useful initially but found other ways to cope and do really well after a while without it, and others have found strategies without requiring Adderall at all.

I want to offer a secondary perspective to what @garyfritz said, suggesting that because we lack the ability to focus in a neurotypical way, we're not necessarily "wired well for entrepreneurship." On the contrary, I think that when looking at ourselves in a neurotypical perspective, yeah, we're garbage at it since we don't focus the way we're taught to expect ourselves to. Look at me with my three websites and multiple other half-done projects.. I'm sure a lot of people here can probably relate with that.. however, that's still indicative of this need to create and solve problems and help people, all very entrepreneurial things.

One quasi-super power though in this cognitive mess, however, is our ability to hyperfocus on things that really get our attention. You get an ADHD person interested in something, whether by challenging us (my greatest motivator has always been from some a**hole telling me I can't do something and showing them up every time) or urgency (the "I perform very well near the end of deadlines because I love the pressure) as examples and we just F*cking RUNNNNN with it.

The problem we face, however, is that it's kinda like bottling lightning. Our ability to create and work on shit is phenomenal but all we can do is hold a lightning rod (i.e. incentivize ourselves with something dopamine-rich) and hope lightning strikes (i.e. focus on the thing we need/want). But that being said, when some dick wagon tries to condescend you and tell you things like "well, if you'd just _____" or "you're just too lazy/stupid/incapable to do this basic thing" realize it's not a matter of self-discipline they're asking of you, but of elemental mastery. That said, F*ck 'em. Like I said for me, for better or worse, I allowed myself to stew on those words and it's how I got my black belt, published my first book, graduated college (first in my family to do so AND without loans.. I just worked and studied the whole time which sucked but again, nothing felt better than showing someone up who told me I cuoldn't do something).. the list goes on.

So I guess tl;dr it's a matter of finding the right lightning rod. It won't always be struck (the brain squirrels be fickle) but accepting that we're just wired differently is tremendously helpful because at least you're not bogged down feeling bad because you're talking down to yourself all the time.

I apologize for the rambling too.. just.. feeling super passionate about this stuff because after my own realization, it was a huge lightbulb moment that took away a lot of the barriers that held me back.. chiefly my inherent guilt for existing and not feeling capable enough because, what other people seemed to do easily, I struggled with for whatever reason. And then I'm like.. "Oh.. right.. my nervous system is wired for dopamine in a very different way.. I'm not broken, just different." So now it's a matter of figuring out how to coax my brain to do the thing.

But hey, at least you know you're not alone.

I will look about getting an appointment, very expensive though but can is probably worth it.

 

[Milos]

I was struggling with ADHD my entire life, which is close to 27 years. What helped tremendously is me making some decisions that absolutely destroyed my comfort levels.

First, as an anti-natalist at the time, I decided to have a kid, for a wrong reason that was to keep my girlfriend from leaving me lol. Would never suggest this to someone, but it did wonders for my life.

At the time I was spending my days trying to learn web development, and I spent a lot of time reading finance books and biographies. Still most of the time was wasted, and every time I got disappointed I would soothe myself by playing some video games.

Well after having a kid, I was forced to do some factory work. This helped me in the long term because it destroyed my ego and my comfort levels. It also put me into fight or flight mode. Here I was, dreaming big and reading books about becoming a millionaire, but ending up as an ordinary factory worker in my mid twenties.

Although this sounds like a horror scenario, it was exactly what I needed. ADHD brains can do spectacular things in order to get their old comfy lives back on track. Fight or flight mode is our natural state, and I embraced it fully.

I worked there for 2 years, and not a day went by without me learning something actually useful. Gone are the days where I would try to learn Python, while simontenously watching a documentary about Koala mating habits. I was determined to get myself out of that situation. What happened here is that reality punched me in the face hard, and it killed the old dreamer me, who wanted to become a millionaire, without knowing what the process actually entails.

Well, 2 years later, after becoming knowledgeable about many online skills, and sending a lot of carefully written cover letters, I was able to find a client in the US, who pays me to manage her Amazon and Shopify stores. While far from being a fastlane, earning US salary in an eastern European country is quite a feat, and it allows me to save some money for future investing.

Hope this hastily written story helps you somehow. You obviously don't have to do what I did, but burning your ships and cutting the amount of free time you have can do wonders for your productivity.

 

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[DougRMR]

I was struggling with ADHD my entire life, which is close to 27 years. What helped tremendously is me making some decisions that absolutely destroyed my comfort levels.

First, as an anti-natalist at the time, I decided to have a kid, for a wrong reason that was to keep my girlfriend from leaving me lol. Would never suggest this to someone, but it did wonders for my life.

At the time I was spending my days trying to learn web development, and I spent a lot of time reading finance books and biographies. Still most of the time was wasted, and every time I got disappointed I would soothe myself by playing some video games.

Well after having a kid, I was forced to do some factory work. This helped me in the long term because it destroyed my ego and my comfort levels. It also put me into fight or flight mode. Here I was, dreaming big and reading books about becoming a millionaire, but ending up as an ordinary factory worker in my mid twenties.

Although this sounds like a horror scenario, it was exactly what I needed. ADHD brains can do spectacular things in order to get their old comfy lives back on track. Fight or flight mode is our natural state, and I embraced it fully.

I worked there for 2 years, and not a day went by without me learning something actually useful. Gone are the days where I would try to learn Python, while simontenously watching a documentary about Koala mating habits. I was determined to get myself out of that situation. What happened here is that reality punched me in the face hard, and it killed the old dreamer me, who wanted to become a millionaire, without knowing what the process actually entails.

Well, 2 years later, after becoming knowledgeable about many online skills, and sending a lot of carefully written cover letters, I was able to find a client in the US, who pays me to manage her Amazon and Shopify stores. While far from being a fastlane, earning US salary in an eastern European country is quite a feat, and it allows me to save some money for future investing.

Hope this hastily written story helps you somehow. You obviously don't have to do what I did, but burning your ships and cutting the amount of free time you have can do wonders for your productivity.

It's funny cuz the times where I've been most productive is because my fight or flight mode kicks in, like you said. It's only when I got comfortable (i.e. 2020's quarantine. Not using that as an excuse, it's just that any good habit that I might've managed to create for the past few years were sent to the shitter during the pandemic) that my life goes into mediocrity. I understand completely

 

[Milos]

It's funny cuz the times where I've been most productive is because my fight or flight mode kicks in, like you said. It's only when I got comfortable (i.e. 2020's quarantine. Not using that as an excuse, it's just that any good habit that I might've managed to create for the past few years were sent to the shitter during the pandemic) that my life goes into mediocrity. I understand completely

I now struggle to focus again, because I have achieved what I wanted. I work from my laptop and I'm location independent. I have enough money to travel and buy all the gadgets, so I now struggle to push myself to work for more, as I feel comfy in the present moment. I guess it's time for another risky illogical decision...

Edit: Now when I think about it, isn't that exactly what our erratic brains tend to do? Successful ADHD entrepreneurs always seemed to me like people who would take some seemingly stupid risks, that would one way or another end up propelling them forward.

 

[rubyarcox]

Thanks for the information, I'll try it the next time I work.

 

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[garyfritz]

"I can't be productive until it's almost too late, I need to get to panic mode then I'm hyperproductive," etc -- classic ADHD.

I'm pretty successful in that I'm semi-retired, working part-time with lots of time to focus on interesting projects. But that way I never have that deadline pressure, and my productivity is for shit. Plus the whole "executive function" thing is a problem too. One way that manifests for me is an inability to resist little dopamine hits. I'll sit down with my ipad to study some stuff for a new client project, and next thing I know I just watched 2 hours of yootoob videos. That's the modern version of why I didn't have a TV for many years -- I'd turn it on to watch ONE SHOW, and next thing I knew it was 5 hours later. I'd just been idly flipping from channel to channel for the last 4.5 hours. Bouncing from one YT vid to the next fits right into that behavior. I should just uninstall Youtube... but I'd still end up navigating to it in a haze.

 

[isaacdramera]

Hey all, so this is something I think I've always naturally struggled with but in the last couple of years it has gotten quite worse. I think part of the problem is that I can accidently rush through work without realizing and my focus is pretty bad (this is probably because the tasks I work on are boring, but I feel I should be able to get through this problem). I've had time's in the past where I'd review this document that I need to send out, 5-8 times before sending it out and then only realized after I sent it that there were still mistakes. Sometimes I feel that maybe I'm in the wrong career and is why I'm struggling a lot.

I've been working on improving it but it's still pretty bad, and not sure if it will improve. I think I'm burnt out as well which isn't helping matters lol.

Just wondering if anyone else has this problem and how they overcame it?

I think it’s natural I can tell you there’s nothing since I’m born that I did without any mistakes … and it’s not like you do it on purpose for example the exams or the tests … I can be pretty sure 100% that I did everything correct but when I receive the grade is not the case I did mistakes and it’s not like I didn’t get the questions I’m just struggling right now to find the words for you because for me it’s natural this is how I’m.
never perfect but hopefully it’s not sometimes big mistakes too

 

[LiveEntrepreneur]

I don't know how to help. I just know that if it's important to me, I pay attention to it. So maybe it's not that important to you?

For example, if I said to you. I'll pay you $10,000 if there are no mistakes on this ad. But you pay me $10,000 if there is a mistake. Do you think you would make any mistakes on it?

Also, when you are reviewing stuff, are you really reviewing it? Or is your brain just skimming over stuff because it thinks it knows what it says already. You shouldn't have to review something 5 times. You just need to review it one time, but really concentrate and review it slowly that ONE time.

Hey, I know you said you don't know how to help but I think you did. I've been taking onboard what you said above with skimming stuff over and making assumptions when reviewing stuff. I stopped making assumptions and I now review things properly, and I've seen a good improvement. Just wanted to say, thanks! Still got a way to go in terms of focusing on the task at hand that can sometimes affect my attention to detail but it's getting there!

 

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[JackMakesMovies]

Hey all, so this is something I think I've always naturally struggled with but in the last couple of years it has gotten quite worse. I think part of the problem is that I can accidently rush through work without realizing and my focus is pretty bad (this is probably because the tasks I work on are boring, but I feel I should be able to get through this problem). I've had time's in the past where I'd review this document that I need to send out, 5-8 times before sending it out and then only realized after I sent it that there were still mistakes. Sometimes I feel that maybe I'm in the wrong career and is why I'm struggling a lot.

I've been working on improving it but it's still pretty bad, and not sure if it will improve. I think I'm burnt out as well which isn't helping matters lol.

Just wondering if anyone else has this problem and how they overcame it?

Meditate, and not any "align-your-chakra" crap, just meditate properly, start off slow, and hey presto

 

[Danny_Cox]

Meditate, and not any "align-your-chakra" crap, just meditate properly, start off slow, and hey presto

Yup. In practical terms, if you can train to keep your attention on something as uninteresting as breathing then you'll have no problem with other phenomena.

Here's the best presentation of the method I've found—

1. Get comfortable in a distraction-free environment,
2. Enjoy the sensations of the breath,
3. When you catch the mind wandering, acknowledge this as successful practice,
4. Repeat.

@LiveEntrepreneur

 

[LiveEntrepreneur]

Yup. In practical terms, if you can train to keep your attention on something as uninteresting as breathing then you'll have no problem with other phenomena.

Here's the best presentation of the method I've found—

1. Get comfortable in a distraction-free environment,
2. Enjoy the sensations of the breath,
3. When you catch the mind wandering, acknowledge this as successful practice,
4. Repeat.

@LiveEntrepreneur

I was meditating for a bit but I stopped because I get this really annoying feeling on my forehead that won't go away, any ideas on how to deal with it? They said it's some third eye opening stuff, don't really believe that.

 

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[whitworldwide]

I was meditating for a bit but I stopped because I get this really annoying feeling on my forehead that won't go away, any ideas on how to deal with it? They said it's some third eye opening stuff, don't really believe that.

Not sure what that is, but I'd look at it as part of the challenge. Sit for 15 minutes every morning when you get up and focus on the breathing. If you get the sore forehead, acknowledge it, and focus everything on the breathing again. Do the breathing focus as much as possible. Do it every single day (15 mins).

 

[Zardiw]

I am also not detail-oriented, so whenever I make a new mistake I catalog it and create a protocol for double-checking my work's quality in the future.

For example - I once sent out an email campaign without adding links to it... so I wrote it down in my "mistake-catalog", and now I know I am prone to making a mistake like that, so I know what to look out for. I also know I overlook margins and fonts when creating landing pages, so I double-check that as well.

This is not foolproof as new mistakes always happen, but at least you learn from the old ones.

I have a test box on my newsletter mailout. It only sends one copy to myself. I read that copy.....click on any links, etc. After about 5+ of those tests, it's ready for publication and I uncheck the test box........ Z

 

[Zahida A. Khan]

That's also a dilemma that I've had for a long time, do I keep improving what I'm not good at or do I go with my strengths?

IMHO, go with what come naturally to you

 

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[sanok]

You need some job that requires attention to detail, then you'll train it quickly if you are motivated enough.

 

[LiveEntrepreneur]

You need some job that requires attention to detail, then you'll train it quickly if you are motivated enough.

I'm not sure if that makes sense. My job requires it, and I've had multiple other jobs that require it. I've been training it for a while.