How to fix speed-dating?

[Maxkaz]

Hey everyone!

Two days ago I’ve visited my first ever speed-dating event. And it was a very disappointing experience. A bunch of skinny shy nerd guys and overweight 30+ girls with lists of psy-disorders longer than “War and Peace” with some organizers added just to keep gender balance. I truely expected something different.

When I got home, my brain cells started to work. This is a business, right? And it even makes some money (we all payed 100 NIS to get there). So what is wrong that guys like me are so disgusted?

For me, I went there for 2 main reasons. Fistly, concentration. As an entrepreneur, I possess some freedom over my time, but I am also consumed with my work and an opportunity to meet lots of new people in a short time is HUGE.

Secondly, intention. I do not have any problem approaching girls anywhere, but I do have ethical problems with approaching them with sexual intention in the middle of something. I would not be wanting to be approached like that while on commute or at an activity, so I do not think it is appropriate for me to do it. And speed-dating basically solves the problem as everyone there basically concsented that they came to meet and mate.

And instead of dedicated, tight-scheduled and intentional people I got a bunch of shy and unattractive people just too scared to get something else.

So I am wandering - how one could make speed-dating more like I imagined? Or is it just me who wants this strange thing with strange values?

 

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[Subsonic]

Hey everyone!

Two days ago I’ve visited my first ever speed-dating event. And it was a very disappointing experience. A bunch of skinny shy nerd guys and overweight 30+ girls with lists of psy-disorders longer than “War and Peace” with some organizers added just to keep gender balance. I truely expected something different.

When I got home, my brain cells started to work. This is a business, right? And it even makes some money (we all payed 100 NIS to get there). So what is wrong that guys like me are so disgusted?

For me, I went there for 2 main reasons. Fistly, concentration. As an entrepreneur, I possess some freedom over my time, but I am also consumed with my work and an opportunity to meet lots of new people in a short time is HUGE.

Secondly, intention. I do not have any problem approaching girls anywhere, but I do have ethical problems with approaching them with sexual intention in the middle of something. I would not be wanting to be approached like that while on commute or at an activity, so I do not think it is appropriate for me to do it. And speed-dating basically solves the problem as everyone there basically concsented that they came to meet and mate.

And instead of dedicated, tight-scheduled and intentional people I got a bunch of shy and unattractive people just too scared to get something else.

So I am wandering - how one could make speed-dating more like I imagined? Or is it just me who wants this strange thing with strange values?

Honestly, it's a flawed concept.

No hot girl has issues meeting a guy so the only females going there will be undesirable.

Hence, most guys with standards only go there once to see its worthless. In the end, only those who can't find people somewhere else end up there and it's a self reinforcing cycle.

Desirable people meet in places where it is not implicitly stated that it's a place to meet and mate as you say.


Honestly, nobody who respects themselves should go to speed dating. Why ?
Because it clearly states that one just wants any partner, on both sides.

Guys who come there do so, because they hope one of the girls will like them.
Girls go there for, idk, validation and maybe because their so bad no normal person puts up with them.



If you want to improve this model, open a place girls like to go to be social and dude don't find gay.

So a nightclub basically.

 

[Frances Kelleher]

Hey everyone!

Two days ago I’ve visited my first ever speed-dating event. And it was a very disappointing experience. A bunch of skinny shy nerd guys and overweight 30+ girls with lists of psy-disorders longer than “War and Peace” with some organizers added just to keep gender balance. I truely expected something different.

When I got home, my brain cells started to work. This is a business, right? And it even makes some money (we all payed 100 NIS to get there). So what is wrong that guys like me are so disgusted?

For me, I went there for 2 main reasons. Fistly, concentration. As an entrepreneur, I possess some freedom over my time, but I am also consumed with my work and an opportunity to meet lots of new people in a short time is HUGE.

Secondly, intention. I do not have any problem approaching girls anywhere, but I do have ethical problems with approaching them with sexual intention in the middle of something. I would not be wanting to be approached like that while on commute or at an activity, so I do not think it is appropriate for me to do it. And speed-dating basically solves the problem as everyone there basically concsented that they came to meet and mate.

And instead of dedicated, tight-scheduled and intentional people I got a bunch of shy and unattractive people just too scared to get something else.

So I am wandering - how one could make speed-dating more like I imagined? Or is it just me who wants this strange thing with strange values?

I m so passionate about this as I m a Dating Coach so sorry for the long spiel!

Firstly don't feel that re chatting women up on commutes etc.Its the way its executed that matters and you have to be OUTCOME INDEPENDENT . Just go in for the conversation.For example even looking a women's shoes and just saying cool shoes is an original opening to a convo.If you practice talking to everyone you ll be a conversational ninja when you see the hot girl.Also women have a radar and we know most of the time guys are approaching because of romantic interest and we like guys that don't hide that cause the no 1 thing a woman looks for in a guy is trustworthiness. So don't hide that fact just be OUTCOME INDEPENDENT bout it,that's the secret and BE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN HER AS A PERSON.

You re not strange at all,everyone actually wants the same things ironically. Both male and females that come to me tell me they want the same things everyone tells me...someone fit,trustworthy, has passionate energy and wants commitment etc etc.You just need to get the numbers in to meet that perfect person for you.
Attraction is created by a brain engagement and pheromones, the chemical scent of a person -it's a numbers game too.

I think if you did my Blueprint of being of 3 apps at once and reaching out to 3 women per night and aim for a date a week minimum, you d win.
Do everything e.g talk to all the women you can,offline and online,say yes to every invite and be on the apps.
The apps are fantastic for accessing a lot of women quickly. Normally people have 1 or 2 gaps in heir dating strategy and once they re filled in they are flying it.Yours could be not getting in the numbers.
If you ve any questions just ask.
Hope that helps