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HOT TOPIC Hey! .... You tryin' to change your life today?

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LightHouse

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Annnnnd I appreciate @RayAndré for handing over my 5000th like a few minutes ago, which now tags me as legendary. (I mean it's pretty fitting :clench:)

I hope you all that have read this thought about it after reading the thread. Write it down somewhere and discover it randomly and think about using it as a tool.

If it is useful to the community, I can post the other major keys that I have been using to become a better person as a whole and not just professionally.
 

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LightHouse

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⚡Key #2 ⚡

If you want to change your mindset, let's learn how it gets formed first...

"This is going to be hard"

"S/he doesn't like me"

"This business will never make money"

"I am never going to be happy"

"I am a failure"

"I don't know enough to get started"

"The weather today sucks, so i don't have to do [x]"

"That event/party is going to be lame"



You know what? You are TOTALLY correct on all the above points if you have ever said any of these things!

Surprise!

Have you ever heard that ol' Henry Ford quote....

You know the one, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are probably right"

That is the lesson here, but lets wrap it into what it really is, the real key is....

"Your beliefs become your reality"


Let's think about that, what does it mean? My beliefs about what CW?

...EVERYTHING!

If you believe that today is going to suck, you are going to use all the easy resource and energy within yourself to validate your idea. No one wants to call them selves a liar or admit that they were wrong, right? So if you walk into a situation and say, you know what, this is going to blow.... guess what the result is going to end up being?

You aren't going to work to reverse that, your mind has already sold your brain the idea that it'll suck and it's going to look for all the data to make sure it was on the mark. (Those guys aren't talking to you, the food sucks, no one is having fun, etc. )

But what if you recognized that as you said it and changed that to "You know what, I don't want to do this, but it might be fun if I make it that way" What is your brain going to work to validate now? (..... I met a new contact or friend, I know a lot of people here i haven't seen in a while, it's raining out but we are inside, in climate control, I'm not starving or fearing for my life and i have the choice to leave or stay whenever I want to.)


Your beliefs in every situation, will in turn, change your thoughts and the language you use, which will then become your reality.... the life you are living.

If you battle with constant negativity either in your environment or yourself, the more and more you are self-aware on this, the more power you have to change things when you make that decision to do it differently.


Jump to ⚡ Key #3
 
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LightHouse

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Anecdotal evidence for Key #2 :eyes:

So since I know i'll be asked. This is one of the top applicable things you can use the above key for that was one of the bigger things I used it for.

Removing the mountain in front of you

I used to say all the time (until @Kung Fu Steve kept checking me on it) that whatever I had to do or overcome was going to be hard, or an uphill battle, or i had to get to the top of the mountain.

It wasn't until I realized that that mountain can be an anthill or Mt Everest depending on how i see it.

If I think getting off of soda (9 years clean?) is going to be really hard cause i have soda everyday and it'll be a big uphill fight..... well, that's exactly what it is going to end up being, a struggle.

Why make myself(yourself) suffer through the extra mental exercise? It can be as simple in my head or as complex as I deem it to be.

Rather than my mind telling my brain that i'm used to it so my body will want it, I need it cause it tastes good or quenches my thirst, I can self-identify that I am not a soda drinker (not past tense here) and that I will pass. "I don't drink soda, sorry". That isn't that difficult, right? I can't relapse if I don't want it in the first place.

The point was, that my words and thoughts used to over complicate anything hard in order to avoid doing it before or sell myself the bullshit story that whatever it was was way harder than it really was. This is somewhat normal behavior for most people that make it to the middle. If you want to be a high achiever in anything you do, you have to be unconventional and really dig into your head and re-wire those belief systems both short and long.


My ask for you.... Think about some of the beliefs in your head... are they limiting or empowering? Do they restrict you from doing things or do they serve as your own internal hype-man/woman to get you to the finish line?

If they don't change them today.

Pass the lesson on if it helps (also click the like button, DUH!)
 

Vigilante

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I wonder if I unclick some of my likes if Legendary goes away
 

LightHouse

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I wonder if I unclick some of my likes if Legendary goes away

If you can dream it, you can do it.

At this rate you can't un-click them fast enough anyway [emoji1537]
 
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Out of Touch

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I think I found a simple example that illustrates what you're talking about:

Let's say that you put off washing the dishes today because there's "too much..." Of course, tomorrow there's going to be more! Your "too much" actually becomes reality!

Love the posts, @LightHouse, keep 'em coming!
P.S. Wash your dishes today. (If you don't have a dishwasher ;)).
 

RayAndré

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P.S. Wash your dishes today. (If you don't have a dishwasher ;)).
Haha, my dishwasher is solely used as a drying rack. I hand wash my dishes every day :D
 

LightHouse

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I think I found a simple example that illustrates what you're talking about:

Let's say that you put off washing the dishes today because there's "too much..." Of course, tomorrow there's going to be more! Your "too much" actually becomes reality!

Love the posts, @LightHouse, keep 'em coming!
P.S. Wash your dishes today. (If you don't have a dishwasher ;)).

Great example. Thanks for adding that in.

And I wash the dishes before they go through the dishwasher, and do them at min every other day. I ain't afraid of no chores :)
 

Thinh

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The very first key concept reminded me of a quote attributed to Eckhart Tolle, which made me realize, after trying, that it was a LOT more than just a concept:

Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world

Recently I felt lonely and unloved. I could have focused on how people are rude or how my friends don't call me often enough. But instead, I chose to think about how I could bring love and care in my day and world. The bad feelings soon faded.

So now, every time I feel unloved, I send "I love you" to a friend or family member.
Every time I feel in scarcity, I give something.
Every time I feel lonely, I call someone or go outside and be nice to strangers.
Every time I feel like shit, I try to cheer someone else up.

That shit really works.
 

LightHouse

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Bump for those of you struggling to get out of bed Monday and get things done...
 

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Tommo

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I was made redundant last Friday two weeks before my 65th birthday and you know what, it's an incentive to finish my website and get it out there. I will find anothef j.o.b. to pay the bills in the meantime. Also still going to Thailand on the holiday I booked. I've been low before but never again, Illigitimus non Carborundum guys.You attitude must stay positive. Thanks Lighthouse for the great explanations you legend.
 

BlindSide

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:fire: Key #2 :fire:

"This is going to be hard"

"S/he doesn't like me"

"This business will never make money"

"I am never going to be happy"

"I am a failure"

"I don't know enough to get started"

"The weather today sucks, so i don't have to do [x]"

"That event/party is going to be lame"



You know what? You are TOTALLY correct on all the above points if you have ever said any of these things!

Surprise!

Have you ever heard that ol' Henry Ford quote....

You know the one, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are probably right"

That is the lesson here, but lets wrap it into what it really is, the real key is....

"Your beliefs become your reality"

Let's think about that, what does it mean? My beliefs about what CW?

...EVERYTHING!

If you believe that today is going to suck, you are going to use all the easy resource and energy within yourself to validate your idea. No one wants to call them selves a liar or admit that they were wrong, right? So if you walk into a situation and say, you know what, this is going to blow.... guess what the result is going to end up being?

You aren't going to work to reverse that, your mind has already sold your brain the idea that it'll suck and it's going to look for all the data to make sure it was on the mark. (Those guys aren't talking to you, the food sucks, no one is having fun, etc. )

But what if you recognized that as you said it and changed that to "You know what, I don't want to do this, but it might be fun if I make it that way" What is your brain going to work to validate now? (..... I met a new contact or friend, I know a lot of people here i haven't seen in a while, it's raining out but we are inside, in climate control, I'm not starving or fearing for my life and i have the choice to leave or stay whenever I want to.)


Your beliefs in every situation, will in turn, change your thoughts and the language you use, which will then become your reality.... the life you are living.

If you battle with constant negativity either in your environment or yourself, the more and more you are self-aware on this, the more power you have to change things when you make that decision to do it differently.

I'll call myself out on this one, per the "Think big" thread:

I'd love to get in on this thread, but feel like I'd be attempting to punch way above my weight. This thread has helped me to realize that I need to focus on problems, and then think BIG when it comes to solving. How can I give the absolute MOST value.

Also makes me more aware that I need to stop shying away from bigger issues I may come across, just because I feel like I'm not qualified.

Great thread!

Throughout the whole thread, despite me wanting to reach these levels in my own journey, has been saying things like:

"You haven't even started"
"I have no clue where to even look for ideas that will reach these levels"
"Maybe you should start with a smaller business first"

Man, especially that last one hurts! But, despite being a pretty happy person, I do think these negative thoughts in my everyday life far too often.

Thanks for the advice, Lighthouse.
 

Vanesco

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Every day we have to be better than yesterday. I constantly try to learn something new, look for ways to go the right way and change my worldview.
 

LightHouse

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I'll call myself out on this one, per the "Think big" thread:



Throughout the whole thread, despite me wanting to reach these levels in my own journey, has been saying things like:

"You haven't even started"
"I have no clue where to even look for ideas that will reach these levels"
"Maybe you should start with a smaller business first"

Man, especially that last one hurts! But, despite being a pretty happy person, I do think these negative thoughts in my everyday life far too often.

Thanks for the advice, Lighthouse.

You are miles ahead already, most folks struggle to ever see flaw within their own thought patterns because it is the only reality we know and our references to that constantly validate it. Since we are alive and well what we think must be the most right, because we haven't died yet... right? Nope, not always the case!

Nice job!
 

Required

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Ok i'll consolidate what I think is most applicable.

A lot of the effect this has is re-shaping your perspective on the world from one of taking to one of giving.

Have you ever been in an argument that was unnecessary and you apologized to the person and were annoyed they didn't also apologize? This is an easy one that is on the top of my head.

For me, I would do this, it would grind me up. Until I realized that like charity, the biggest benefit to my health is the giving and knowing that I have made myself right, and I can not control things outside of that. So if my emotion is staked on that person being in the same mental state and also apologizing, im going to lose quite a bit.

However, If i stake my emotions on what I can control, myself, and appreciate that whatever happened is now over and I can move on, then all I can do is say my apologies and feel good that i sorted out what i could and move forward.

Like I said, this is a very minor example. But imagine you stack these in the tens for a day. How does your day look now? Are you worse off or better?

For me, it was better everyday. I stopped focusing so much on what everyone and everything owed me or whether things were even and just. I appreciate the situations and things that come up, i appreciate the people I know and the opportunities that pass me by, and nowadays i try to provide back instantly with that feedback loop by telling people i appreciate them or mentioning i appreciate the opportunity or situation.

This better prepares my mind for the next thing because I am in a state of abundance and not scarcity.

Hopefully this paints a decent picture, not totally clicking on explanations this morning.

I realise how many times in past I have been annoyed because they didnt apologize... I struggled with things like this.

I am grateful that I am becoming better at this, not letting any negative thought or uncontrollable outer stuff impact me.

Having your mind under control and being self-aware how you react is very powerful.

Thanks for your writings in this thread, I find them very valuable ;)
 

harlansjobs

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If I see how it has made a difference in your life I would obviously be more driven to make this a habit.

In the OP you told us the what but not the why. You can keep it short if you're worried about wasting time.


I am new here, so maybe I dont have the right to comment on this yet, but maybe would have been better for you if he had said simply have an attitude of gratitude in all you do?
 

SWSSMSS

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This is definitely some legendary content and it's exactly what I needed to hear/see.

Nice tags btw
 

TreyAllDay

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Great post, and awesome to see other entrepreneurs that care about this stuff.
I often find people who brush it aside, but I find the more you focus on appreciating things in your life, the more it wires you to focus on needs of others and run a more successful business.
 

LightHouse

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This is definitely some legendary content and it's exactly what I needed to hear/see.

Nice tags btw

I'm surprised it took this long for someone to mention it, LOL
 

superb

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"Your beliefs become your reality"

So true. I experienced this firsthand last week. I started practicing the Wim Hof Method (breathing / cold showers). I greatly feared the cold shower part. I would think about how uncomfortable and unpleasant the experience would be and contrast that how nice a hot shower feels on a cold Michigan morning. On a whim I told myself "It won't be that bad and you can handle this", turned the cold water on and stepped in.

Guess what? It was still cold as FK but the discomfort was 1/10 of what I imagined it to be! And that discomfort has turned into greater physical and mental strength. Haven't missed a day since!

That is all good but what has really stuck me is:

The experience is what I made it to be.

It's not a new concept. Everyone knows this. I "knew" this intellectually but either didn't remember or wanted to 'savor" my anger/frustration/sadness/whatever. I
accidentally had a positive outlook and it turned into an "ah-ha" moment. Now I know it.

How many good things have I missed or passed up because my mindset defaulted towards negativity? Even if it was legitimately unpleasant experience, if you're not open to seeing the good that sometimes comes out of those experiences, you risk losing out twice.
 

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Required

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So true. I experienced this firsthand last week. I started practicing the Wim Hof Method (breathing / cold showers). I greatly feared the cold shower part. I would think about how uncomfortable and unpleasant the experience would be and contrast that how nice a hot shower feels on a cold Michigan morning. On a whim I told myself "It won't be that bad and you can handle this", turned the cold water on and stepped in.

Guess what? It was still cold as FK but the discomfort was 1/10 of what I imagined it to be! And that discomfort has turned into greater physical and mental strength. Haven't missed a day since!

Kudos to overcoming it!

Started taking cold showers myself aswell just 3 weeks ago in the course of a challenge and I can't see cold showers not being part of my morning routine anymore. Love the feeling of consciousness and reality of it. Once I had a few days of them It just became part of the habit.

I guess that's a positive. :)
 

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LiveEntrepreneur

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I think the quote means just appreciating what you currently have? I'm guessing it's something like, if there is something you want to aim for don't be unhappy because you don't have it but be grateful for what you currently have, while trying to reach what you want.

It's like saying I want this house worth 2m dollars and I'm not happy unless I have it. I guess the quote is saying be happy with the house you currently have even if it's not your dream house.

Is this correct?
 

LightHouse

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So true. I experienced this firsthand last week. I started practicing the Wim Hof Method (breathing / cold showers). I greatly feared the cold shower part. I would think about how uncomfortable and unpleasant the experience would be and contrast that how nice a hot shower feels on a cold Michigan morning. On a whim I told myself "It won't be that bad and you can handle this", turned the cold water on and stepped in.

Guess what? It was still cold as FK but the discomfort was 1/10 of what I imagined it to be! And that discomfort has turned into greater physical and mental strength. Haven't missed a day since!

That is all good but what has really stuck me is:

The experience is what I made it to be.

It's not a new concept. Everyone knows this. I "knew" this intellectually but either didn't remember or wanted to 'savor" my anger/frustration/sadness/whatever. I
accidentally had a positive outlook and it turned into an "ah-ha" moment. Now I know it.

How many good things have I missed or passed up because my mindset defaulted towards negativity? Even if it was legitimately unpleasant experience, if you're not open to seeing the good that sometimes comes out of those experiences, you risk losing out twice.

YES! This is such a great example. Is the water still cold, yes. Is it uncomfortable, possibly. But i can almost guarantee that it wont be anywhere near as bad as your mind is telling your brain. It really is such a powerful to realize.

The best method for someone to rapidly adopt this, is have someone else hold you accountable to it. Ask a friend, family member, spouse, or coworker to check you from time to time, at max once a day though, and over time you'll be able to do it for yourself.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, start checking other people at random. You will just piss them off and it isn't your place unless you are bold or know the person is highly likely to accept it. Most will outwardly reject it, esp if they don't know you and/or you are not experienced enough in people skills to bring it up without them knowing. best is just DON'T DO IT TO OTHERS UNLESS THEY ASK!
 

LightHouse

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LightHouse

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I think the quote means just appreciating what you currently have? I'm guessing it's something like, if there is something you want to aim for don't be unhappy because you don't have it but be grateful for what you currently have, while trying to reach what you want.

It's like saying I want this house worth 2m dollars and I'm not happy unless I have it. I guess the quote is saying be happy with the house you currently have even if it's not your dream house.

Is this correct?

Hey LiveEntreprenuer, This is a decent example yes. Chances are you live far better than you believe you do. So no point in not feeling as good as you should, just because you haven't hit your goals yet. That's what the journey is about. You wouldn't play a whole game of soccer feeling like shit about yourself because you have not won yet, you would be present, playing the game trying your best and wanting to win it and enjoying it. Life is the exact same way.
 

LiveEntrepreneur

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Hey LiveEntreprenuer, This is a decent example yes. Chances are you live far better than you believe you do. So no point in not feeling as good as you should, just because you haven't hit your goals yet. That's what the journey is about. You wouldn't play a whole game of soccer feeling like sh*t about yourself because you have not won yet, you would be present, playing the game trying your best and wanting to win it and enjoying it. Life is the exact same way.

I see, completely agree with that. It's definitely important to not forget the process, I know a lot of people focus on the end goal and just fantasize how great it would all be. It's mental masturbation as MJ would call it. It feels great for a second then you feel like shit cause all the work you have to do. I think you can make life a lot easier if you learn to love the process and to make your self love hard work.
 

Areding

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Every day I try to change myself for the better, no matter how I do it: I read books, go to the gym, communicate with people - the main thing is that I do not sit on the spot.
 

LightHouse

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:bolt:Key #3 :bolt:

What does this mean to me?

Emotions are a muscle, train them or they will fail you.

Unless you take 100% responsibility for how you feel and what you experience then you will always be a victim of someone, something, or some circumstance.

What does this mean to you?

Firstly let's remember that we decide what something means to us in a moment. In fact, life's emotions our based on how we choose to interpret our own circumstance.

Did that guy purposely cut you off in traffic, or did he not see you? Does it even really matter..... what does that mean to you?

Are you going to carry that anger with you all day, or are you going to back off his bumper and your horn and recognize that in seconds, everything that just happen no longer matters and your life is still the exact same (pending you didn't actually get in an accident!)

So how do we become responsible with our own mental states?

Step 1 - Constantly recognize your own self talk or internal dialogue. Awareness is the hardest part of the process, but once you become aware things get easier and it isn't something you lose over time.

Step 2 - Ask yourself "what does this mean to me?" .... every time. This will force your brain back into an active mode and see things for what they really are and not what you are conditioned to think every time the situation happens or how you've seen others or your parents handle it.

Step 3 - Change the language you use with yourself. Remember that your mind(consciousness) can sell your brain (your bodies central station) anything you want it to. So why not start selling yourself a better story. You have 100% control of your mind, it's one of the only things you control every bit of in life.

Step 4 - Start letting life happen for you, and not TO you.


Action---> Take a second to think about a few things that have happened lately that you know you didn't react properly or had a bad outcome. What made you act the way that you did?... Was it something you decided in the moment or did you react the way you always have because that's "just what happens (what you do)"?


Jump to ⚡ Key #4
 
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