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Hey! .... You tryin' to change your life today?

Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by LightHouse, Oct 11, 2018.

  1. LightHouse
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    LightHouse Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Feeling crappy today?

    Feel like you can't get started?

    Don't know how or what to do?

    Guy you held the door open for earlier didn't say thank you?

    Jerk in traffic cut you off, then flicked YOU off?

    Spouse not seeing the hard work you put in to keep the house clean?

    Kids don't care about all the things you do for them?

    Parents don't see how hard you are working?

    Boss didn't notice that you are in early and did sally's work for her to help the team?


    I get it, I get YOU

    I really do, but that doesn't really matter.


    ....Do you want to change it all today?


    what about.... RIGHT NOW?


    @Kung Fu Steve is going to slap my wrist (oh plz) for putting this very valuable TR lesson out there (since it's part of his exclusive group, but I wanted to share it after having a conversation with @Vigilante earlier.

    This is one of 3 keys that i use daily that have turned my life upside down.

    So here it is....

    "Turn your expectations into appreciation... and your life will change immediately"


    Wait, What does that mean and is this some mind bending bullshit again? well #1 yes, of course. How else did you think it was going to happen, by eating 11ty bags of cheetos at 10pm?


    You are suffering because you are in a state of mind that breeds suffering. The world owes you down to every please and thank you. One missed expectation stacks a top another and before you know it, BOOM, depression.

    If you are looking for negativity in this world, you are in luck. It is everywhere. If you want, i'll send truck loads to your house!


    My ask here is only 1 thing, Take 10 minutes today to think about the above quote and what it might mean to you and your life. Re-read the top section of this OP and see how you can make it apply to each situation.

    I am not going to do it for you, because you would just as quickly forget it.

    Don't like it? Don't care.

    Do like it? Share it with someone else that might need a simple lesson. I promise you it will fulfill you today, tomorrow, and into the future.
     
  2. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Well holy sh*t if this post didn't fall out of the sky onto my screen at the right time.
     
  3. Raoul Duke
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    Raoul Duke The .45 longslide, with laser sighting. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Stoic philosophy.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018
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  4. ZCP
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    ZCP Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I work to change a life every day. (definitely keeps me busy....)
    One of the ways I do it is to pass along the knowledge @LightHouse just let out of the bag.
    Reframe it!

    Instead of 'have to' .... 'GET to!'....
    Replace every 'but' with 'and' .....
    Be happy and thankful for your day and your chance to be there for someone else. Be the rock.
    LOOK for the good in each situation.
    Control your mind and your attitude toward those around you.

    One of the things I do with my kids ...... instead of 'how was your day?', so they tell me about all the homework and projects and issues and negative ..... I ask 'what is something cool that happened today?' ...... leads to a lot better dinner conversation!
     
  5. LightHouse
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    LightHouse Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    YES....!

    I can't begin to tell you how useful doing these two things can be for your daily life.

    Your state of mind is often shaped by the stories you tell yourself and the words you use are an indicator of those stories (also a KFS lesson). So if you want to start re-shaping the stories you tell yourself, start with the words you use day to day.

    The above two are part of the list of most efficient ones that you can start
    immediately. (yes, it will feel weird at first. but doesn't everything?..... hello?:rofl: )

    Rep + to you @ZCP
     
  6. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    For some reason I am great at doing this in business, but terrible at doing so at home.

    More appreciation needed.

    Will give it a try!
     
  7. Tommo
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    Tommo Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    A great example is ZCPs reply on the Coming Recession post today.
    Well put and calmed the waters a bit as it was getting a bit heated lol.
     
    ZF Lee likes this.
  8. Ayanle Farah
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    Ayanle Farah Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    You didn't explain how it helped you or changed your life tho...
     
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  9. Andy Black
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    Andy Black Any colour, as long as it's red. Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    When my kids tell me "I can't" ... I tell them to say "yet".
     
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  10. George Appiah
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    George Appiah Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Godsend!

    Thank you a million times for sharing this, @LightHouse.
     
    LightHouse likes this.
  11. Madame Peccato
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    Madame Peccato Contributor

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    This is spot on, the first question just leaves our brain on autopilot (as it is most of the time), we don't pour an ounce of thought into how to answer "how are you". While a question like "what is something cool that happened today?" actually gets us thinking, and a little bit excited to answer. You can do this with about any regular question you ask people even when you don't have any real interest in them, questions such as "how are you?", "where are you from?", "what do you do for a living?" are generally pretty boring and included in the category of uninteresting question we answer all the time and to which we don't give much thought. Asking better questions makes the conversation more engaging for both parties involved. Put some more thought into the questions you are going to ask, and you will get more thoughtful answers.

    Great thread, we have the power to change our state of mind within ourselves, it "just" takes a lot of mental work, and we all know how allergic we are to mental work.
     
  12. jasoncuellar123
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    jasoncuellar123 I’m probably awake. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I expected better.

    But I appreciate you.

    :playful:

    Jk I love you
     
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  13. WJS
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    WJS Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    If you have difficulties grasping the concept OP is trying to deliver, read this story below (source: random website from google) and see if you get it. I'm pretty sure many people have come across this story already but no harm to read it again.


    The 90/10 Rule
    10% of life is things that happen to us. We have no control over these events. 90% of our life depends on how we react to the things that happen to us. We can have total control over our choice of reaction to the things that happen to us.

    Imagine this situation: It is breakfast time at home and John and Suzie and their daughter Sally are sitting at the table. Sally turns quickly and knocks the coffee all over her father John’s shirt.

    Scenario 1)

    John curses and says “how could you be so clumsy! Now I am going to have to change this shirt.” He then turns to his wife and says “how could you have left the coffee so close to the edge of the table!”. He storms upstairs to change his shirt leaving behind a daughter in tears and an angry wife.

    He is now leaving home 5 minutes later and the traffic is terrible. Sally is in the back of the car and totally ignoring him. He drops her to school where she is now late and pissed off. He reaches work angry and his boss says “lets review that important document we need to deliver today”… John has left it at home in the rush. He had left it out on the table to do a final review first thing in the morning, but the chaos at home meant that he rushed out without picking it up. His boss is frustrated because this is an important opportunity and John has to return home to pick up the document.

    That night the house is a tense angry situation with nobody talking to each other…

    Why did John, Suzy and Sally have a bad day?

    1) because of the spilt coffee?
    2) because of Sally spilling the coffee?
    3) because of the traffic?
    4) because of his boss and the important meeting?
    5) because of John’s reaction to the spilt coffee?

    Scenario 2)

    Sally spills the coffee and looks shocked and concerned. John looks at his shirt, pauses, and looks at his daughter “Oh no I will have to change this shirt. Don’t worry, I have another one upstairs. You need to be a little bit more careful, but its only a shirt”. John hugs Sally and goes and changes his shirt. John comes downstairs to find his wife is going to take their daughter to school and he has 10 minutes to review his document. He makes a couple of good notes and gets in his car. There is traffic, but he is focussed on the way he will present the document to his boss and practices the presentation out loud in the car. He arrives at work, enters bosses office, delivers a well thought through presentation. That night he reaches the house and everybody is sitting at dinner sharing their day.

    Two different scenarios began the same but ended very different. They ended different not because of 1) or 2) or 3) or 4)… but 5) how John chose to react to something that happened to him.

    10% of life is stuff that happens to you. 90% depends on your choice of reaction to what has happened to you.
     
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  14. Andy Black
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    Andy Black Any colour, as long as it's red. Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Yep. Like this story:
     
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  15. Ayanle Farah
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    Ayanle Farah Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I see, yeah I already do that.

    I thought he meant something different when he said "turn expectation into appreciation".
     
  16. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I have to say, keeping this in mind definitely made my day brighter. Even though I'm surrounded by negativity I was able to remain positive by viewing others as "value targets" to help instead of as "sources of negativity" to draw from.
     
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  17. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Lots of negative expectations today... but I remembered this thread, and changed one thought into appreciation. It worked!

    Gotta keep at it.
     
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  18. LightHouse
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    LightHouse Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Is me giving you that info, going to help you in your life?

    (serious question, because i can't see it making a difference, however, if my time taken writing that out will help you, then it is worth it for me)
     
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  19. LightHouse
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    LightHouse Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    The problem is most present for most people who have been in any kind of relationships for a good period of time. Most men and women I know, just don't want to admit it. It is easier to just fix it in our professional lives where we are unattached emotionally. You expect a lot both large and small from your significant other, most of which you don't even realize. And I have seen a lot change over to this, only to switch out of it since the other person also didn't "get it".

    There is nothing wrong with it, its pretty normal. But being normal doesn't have to mean permanent.

    I am guilty of this even myself over the years. It takes a very willed and smart person to be able to point the finger back inward. Which is why it is valuable here, the folks that read this forum are all intelligent enough and willed enough to do this. They just need to start small and never stop.
     
  20. SteveO
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    SteveO Legendary Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Such good preaching from a clown... a really creepy clown...
     
  21. Ayanle Farah
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    Ayanle Farah Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    If I see how it has made a difference in your life I would obviously be more driven to make this a habit.

    In the OP you told us the what but not the why. You can keep it short if you're worried about wasting time.
     
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  22. LightHouse
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    LightHouse Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Ok i'll consolidate what I think is most applicable.

    A lot of the effect this has is re-shaping your perspective on the world from one of taking to one of giving.

    Have you ever been in an argument that was unnecessary and you apologized to the person and were annoyed they didn't also apologize? This is an easy one that is on the top of my head.

    For me, I would do this, it would grind me up. Until I realized that like charity, the biggest benefit to my health is the giving and knowing that I have made myself right, and I can not control things outside of that. So if my emotion is staked on that person being in the same mental state and also apologizing, im going to lose quite a bit.

    However, If i stake my emotions on what I can control, myself, and appreciate that whatever happened is now over and I can move on, then all I can do is say my apologies and feel good that i sorted out what i could and move forward.

    Like I said, this is a very minor example. But imagine you stack these in the tens for a day. How does your day look now? Are you worse off or better?

    For me, it was better everyday. I stopped focusing so much on what everyone and everything owed me or whether things were even and just. I appreciate the situations and things that come up, i appreciate the people I know and the opportunities that pass me by, and nowadays i try to provide back instantly with that feedback loop by telling people i appreciate them or mentioning i appreciate the opportunity or situation.

    This better prepares my mind for the next thing because I am in a state of abundance and not scarcity.

    Hopefully this paints a decent picture, not totally clicking on explanations this morning.
     
  23. Ayanle Farah
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    Ayanle Farah Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    It does, thank you. It makes sense to me, you can't have a great life if your happiness depends on things outside your control so do your best to do what you can and be content, that's how I understood it.
     
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  24. Siberia
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    Siberia Surprise Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    The rule of 10/90

    Your reaction is like a clown ... you are a really creepy clown .... without any respect and value.

    From the height of your infinite wisdom you have chosen the best reaction in front of this thread: of exceptional value. Thank you

    But it is very interesting the reaction of some persons that liked this may be for your reputation in this forum.
    No comment.

    I propose to put your sweet feedback in the landfill.

    That's the right place for this your post.

    I am very happy for my reaction directly from my soul (90/10) and today for this i will be sure to help you to see the right clown in the right place : THE CIRCUS.

    Dear Friend ... value is value!!

    Today with my reaction in my control I'm sure to have changed my life to the best and yours too.

    A person as important as you will surely laugh at it with a bit of self-humor.

    Have a nice day with self humor and smile.
     
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  25. LightHouse
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    LightHouse Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    @SteveO and I know each other, his reply was in jest. No worries!
     
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