Going Fastlane Like My Life Depends On It.. (continued)

[Black_Dragon43]

You've got an addiction that's holding you back from achieving your goals

While this is true, what’s more important is why Mike has this addiction. I have always had a similar addiction, now it’s much lessened than it used to be. But when I was a teen and in my early 20s I devoured thousands of books (and no, that’s not an exageration contrary to what you think lol).

The trouble with this addiction is that when you have it, you are CONVINCED that getting the right information is good and will help you. Mike, deep down, is convinced of this, otherwise he wouldn’t be doing it.

He is convinced that an interaction with someone, a book, a podcast, could be THAT ONE THING that changes his life.

So this conviction comes from somewhere, it’s not random. Why is it there? What role does it play for him?

And this is very individual but it could be many different things:
• Fear of failure: searching for an answer becomes a way to permanently avoid failure by never trying (this is the one most psychologists would zero-in on. Personally though this wasn’t applicable to me, which isn’t to say it’s not applicable to Mike.
• Low self-esteem: “I don’t deserve to be successful, therefore I need someone else’s advice”
• Low self-confidence: “I can’t do it, I’m not good enough, therefore I need help from those who are better than me”
• Lack of Wisdom: “I don’t know how to think, therefore I need help”
• Intellectual boredom: “yeah, I can be successful, but where’s the challenge if I figured it out? What was really exciting was finding the answer, implementing it is bleh. So let me search for a different answer”

Bottom line, you can’t overcome an addiction if you don’t figure out why it’s so appealing to you to start with.

 

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[mikecarlooch]

And this is very individual but it could be many different things:
• Fear of failure: searching for an answer becomes a way to permanently avoid failure by never trying (this is the one most psychologists would zero-in on. Personally though this wasn’t applicable to me, which isn’t to say it’s not applicable to Mike.
• Low self-esteem: “I don’t deserve to be successful, therefore I need someone else’s advice”
• Low self-confidence: “I can’t do it, I’m not good enough, therefore I need help from those who are better than me”
• Lack of Wisdom: “I don’t know how to think, therefore I need help”

You nailed it.

I unfortunately have deep down thoughts (that I like to stay away from and act like I don't have). It might be from past childhood programming:

- If the deal is available and another investor hasn't already taken it, then i'd probably end up a sucker by buying something I don't understand

-They probably won't choose me to buy the property because as soon as 1 other group comes in that's more experienced, I'm out

-Who the heck would give me their money and why would anyone want to partner with me on a deal worth millions of dollars? I've only been part of deals worth like 100k-300k.

-If I put together something wrong and fail, and lose people's money, my reputation and confidence are screwed

-The only way to know what to do is to ask people that know what to do

-If I go and contact brokers to find me a commercial deal that meets my criteria, and then I think that deal meets my criteria but I'm actually just deluding myself that my "criteria" is good, then i'll end up a sucker.

-If I have a good idea for something that could be done on a property and I tell someone, why don't they just do it and exclude me?

-If a deal is already on the market, it's bad

-We are kind of just like, here in the moment right now. Like what do I do? Oh, there's a book over there, that'll give me something to do.

Just dumb shit like this.

And trust me i'm heavily aware of it.

And it really bothers me. It stresses me the f*ck out a lot.

And I see what this type of thinking leads to in my family. Nothingness. Complete risk aversion. I hate it, and want to be the outlier who breaks the stupid cycle.

 

[Antifragile]

You nailed it.

I unfortunately have deep down thoughts (that I like to stay away from and act like I don't have). It might be from past childhood programming:

- If the deal is available and another investor hasn't already taken it, then i'd probably end up a sucker by buying something I don't understand

What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of being a sucker just 1% less?

-They probably won't choose me to buy the property because as soon as 1 other group comes in that's more experienced, I'm out

What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood vendor choosing someone more experienced over you just 1% more?

-Who the heck would give me their money and why would anyone want to partner with me on a deal worth millions of dollars? I've only been part of deals worth like 100k-300k.

What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of someone giving you $1MM in equity just 1% more?

-If I put together something wrong and fail, and lose people's money, my reputation and confidence are screwed

What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of putting something together all wrong just 1% less?

-The only way to know what to do is to ask people that know what to do

You've been on this forum how long? And you still want others to tell you the exact 67 steps to success? You know better than that.

-If I go and contact brokers to find me a commercial deal that meets my criteria, and then I think that deal meets my criteria but I'm actually just deluding myself that my "criteria" is good, then i'll end up a sucker.

What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of being a sucker just 1% less?

-If I have a good idea for something that could be done on a property and I tell someone, why don't they just do it and exclude me?

Ideas are worth NOTHING.

“The owner of an idea is not he who imagines it, but he who executes it.”
― M.J. DeMarco, The Millionaire Fastlane

“Execution takes the neurological fart that is an idea and makes it smell like a rose.”
― M.J. DeMarco, The Millionaire Fastlane

-If a deal is already on the market, it's bad

Often this is true. What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of seeing an off-market deal just 1% more likely?

-We are kind of just like, here in the moment right now. Like what do I do? Oh, there's a book over there, that'll give me something to do.

Squirrel, nut... yum.

Action breaks this pattern once you are aware of this.

Just dumb shit like this.

And trust me i'm heavily aware of it.

And it really bothers me. It stresses me the f*ck out a lot.

“Many people want to change their life, but they are not will to change their choices, and ultimately this changes nothing.”
― MJ DeMarco

And I see what this type of thinking leads to in my family. Nothingness. Complete risk aversion. I hate it, and want to be the outlier who breaks the stupid cycle.

And just so you know, having done this for as long as I have, every single thought you pup up there crosses my mind on every single deal I do.

What's the difference? I work on lowering those risks, instead of letting fear freeze me into complete inaction (or action-faking as it is properly named on this forum!). The way to be courageous is to get things done.

Didn't @MJ DeMarco have that useful saying along the line of "done beats doubt"?

“There’s a profound difference between interest and commitment. Interest reads a book; commitment applies the book 50 times.”
― M.J. DeMarco, The Millionaire Fastlane

 

[mikecarlooch]

What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of being a sucker just 1% less?


What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood vendor choosing someone more experienced over you just 1% more?


What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of someone giving you $1MM in equity just 1% more?



What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of putting something together all wrong just 1% less?



You've been on this forum how long? And you still want others to tell you the exact 67 steps to success? You know better than that.



What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of being a sucker just 1% less?



Ideas are worth NOTHING.

“The owner of an idea is not he who imagines it, but he who executes it.”
― M.J. DeMarco, The Millionaire Fastlane

“Execution takes the neurological fart that is an idea and makes it smell like a rose.”
― M.J. DeMarco, The Millionaire Fastlane


Often this is true. What one thing can you do now to make the likelihood of seeing an off-market deal just 1% more likely?



Squirrel, nut... yum.

Action breaks this pattern once you are aware of this.




“Many people want to change their life, but they are not will to change their choices, and ultimately this changes nothing.”
― MJ DeMarco



And just so you know, having done this for as long as I have, every single thought you pup up there crosses my mind on every single deal I do.

What's the difference? I work on lowering those risks, instead of letting fear freeze me into complete inaction (or action-faking as it is properly named on this forum!). The way to be courageous is to get things done.

Didn't @MJ DeMarco have that useful saying along the line of "done beats doubt"?

“There’s a profound difference between interest and commitment. Interest reads a book; commitment applies the book 50 times.”
― M.J. DeMarco, The Millionaire Fastlane

My immediate thinking to become 1% less likely like what you’re saying..

Is to read books that help me understand them more

 

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[Antifragile]

My immediate thinking to become 1% less likely like what you’re saying..

Is to read books that help me understand them more

And that's where I am trying to correct you, Mike.

My mind goes the other way! I can't help think "let me try this way and see what happens". For example: let me ask for money from an investor, that experience will teach me what I don't know. I'll fail at first, I am not an idiot, I know that. But then I can tweak how I did it, what I didn't know and do it again, it'll work when I get better at it.

Same with sites, when a broker tells me "hey, this group has more money than anyone we probably will go with them" I can't help but think "what can I do to test a new way of working with a broker"... so I came up with "what if I paid more commission? What if I offer them ability to invest in the project? What if I let them sell the project which would 10x their commission later?" 100s of ideas emerge, I start testing them one by one from most likely to succeed to the "whacky crazy stuff least likely to work" ...

If you wait until all the stars align to do your thing, you'll wait forever. (this holds for family, kids, business, fitness, happiness - everything).

Nothing wrong with books, I love books, I am a voracious reader! But they only have value if you apply what you read.



edit:
You seem worried about losing investor money that you never had. Get the money, let the investor worry about their due diligence on you. This act alone will lead to an experience.

You ask "hey, can I have $1MM to do this and that" and they go "Show me a, b, c and d before I decide". Boom, 100x better than any book. It's current. It's market telling you what it wants. Now you may have "a" but missing "c" and need a textbook to improve your pro-forma, fine - buy the textbook and rip off the best pro-forma model you can find.

Go after investor 2, 3... 15. Each one will have similarly valuable feedback. It become REAL fast. YOU become better.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

- If the deal is available and another investor hasn't already taken it, then i'd probably end up a sucker by buying something I don't understand

-They probably won't choose me to buy the property because as soon as 1 other group comes in that's more experienced, I'm out

-Who the heck would give me their money and why would anyone want to partner with me on a deal worth millions of dollars? I've only been part of deals worth like 100k-300k.

-If I put together something wrong and fail, and lose people's money, my reputation and confidence are screwed

-The only way to know what to do is to ask people that know what to do

-If I go and contact brokers to find me a commercial deal that meets my criteria, and then I think that deal meets my criteria but I'm actually just deluding myself that my "criteria" is good, then i'll end up a sucker.

-If I have a good idea for something that could be done on a property and I tell someone, why don't they just do it and exclude me?

-If a deal is already on the market, it's bad

It seems that your biggest fear so to speak is shame — you fear doing something you shouldn’t do. You fear being an idiot.

It’s not that you fear failure — what you really fear isn’t failure, but rather being a fool in the process. Making the wrong decision — or making a decision out of stupidity rather than because the decision has warrant.

I suffer from OCD. You may too — while just these thoughts aren’t indicative of OCD, I have seen this mindset very frequently in people who have been diagnosed with OCD. At the very minimum I’d say you are predisposed to OCD even if not suffering from it. People with this mindset tend to be stuck in their heads (myself included), and often worry based on POSSIBILITIES, rather than PROBABILITIES.

I doubt what @Antifragile says above resonates with you. You probably think “how does the 1% improvement help me, if I can still make the wrong decision and fail? Wtf is this guy even talking about?” And that’s not your fault — your mind is basically functioning on a different operating system from most normal people.

You see, most people when faced with risk, they look at the probabilities and act accordingly. Someone like us, looks at the possibilities instead, zero-in on the worst case scenario imaginable, and can’t let go of it. Because “what if”…

The root cause of this, as far as I can see, is mistaking the map for the territory. We are stuck in our head, stuck in language and imagination, where possibilities live and away from reality where facts and probabilities are.

And… everything is possible. Something is not possible only if it’s a logical contradiction, but everything else, even being abducted by aliens tonight, is possible.

Logic as such is much more about the structure of LANGUAGE than the structure of REALITY. And this is why I say that people with this problem often mistake language for reality and are stuck in their heads. This then turns to magical thinking — you believe that by changing how you think, you can change reality. The fundamental belief fueling your worries is that you can “solve” the worries by turning them from side to side and by keeping on thinking. You are convinced about this. Even when you say “it doesn’t make sense”, you are still convinced 100% by it, because you continue to act accordingly. So you think manipulating language through the imagination, in your head, you can prevent tragedy in reality.

We learn about reality from our senses. Our doubts are often not rooted in the senses (real doubt) but rather in the imagination (fake doubt).

The other thing to realize is that “what if X?” has no truth value… a doubt cannot be true or false. That which is in doubt, X, can be true or false and that’s where we can make an assessment — a probabilistic assessment. But with our doubts, we cannot “solve” them, because they are a matter of language, not a matter of reality. They are an issue with the relationship between our MAP and the underlying REALITY. They have no truth value — there is nothing to solve in “what if X?”.

While there is no certainty in the real world, we do grow in certainty as facts continue to amass. This is the basis of Bayesian thinking. While it’s important to be aware of the fact that there are “black swan events” that surprise us, for the most part, white swans are the norm.

Now what gives a decision warrant? It’s certainly not possibility — possibility is a matter of logic. You have no reason to doubt that you girlfriend is loyal to you, but you still doubt it, because, who knows, she may be speaking to someone else and you don’t know about it. Is this doubt justified? No. Because it’s based on possibility, or imagination, it’s based on the map, not on the territory.

On the other hand if you find some new Victoria secret underwear in her car, and she hides her phone from you, and seems less responsive than normal, now you have some grounds for doubt — notice, it’s still not grounds to think she’s cheating on you, but sufficient grounds to warrant further investigation.

Now what happens in a situation where there are no signs she’s cheating on you… and you find out 10 years later that she was doing her fitness trainer at that time. Now THIS is the situation you fear right? Because you’d think “F*ck, how could I be so stupid and not know about this for so long?!”

And the defense against this is an intolerance of possibility. You shriek back from reality and retreat into the map, which you can control mentally.

But, now we go back to warrant. For you to be STUPID in taking a decision means that the belief in question lacks warrant, and you believe it despite the lack of warrant and it turns out to be false.

Because if you believe X when everything points to X being true, and it turns out that X is false, then you were not stupid for believing X while all the evidence pointed to it being the case.

This means you need to stop thinking in terms of possibilities — remember, possibilities are a matter of language or the map, that which we use to talk about reality itself, and not a function of reality.

Instead, you need to learn to start thinking in terms of probabilities. Yes, you may be wrong, but what are you most justified to believe in situation X? If you are justified to believe it, even if you are wrong, you cannot be blamed for it, and hence you cannot be stupid in taking that decision.

Before we saw the first black swan, we were certainly justified to believe that most swans are likely to be white. We were not entitled to believe that ABSOLUTELY all swans are white — but that they most likely are white would have been a reasonable conclusion.

You need to start reasoning probabilistically about reality. Learn to think statistically. Look into Bayesian thinking. Read books loke Thinking Fast & Slow, The Signal and the Noise or Thinking in Bets.

Reality has no certainty. Certainty is an artifice of language, it doesn’t exist in the world. It’s a made up thing, that describes how we can TALK about reality. It’s not that logical contradictions are impossible in reality. It’s not that A and not A can’t both be the case. But rather that if both A and not A were the case, then we would be making an error of language, and not expressing ourselves well. For example, “sand is hard and soft”. I really mean that a grain of sand is hard when pressing it between your fingers and that a mound of sand is soft when putting your hand on it. And by saying sand is hard and soft I confuse my meaning — I’m making an error of LANGUAGE. Reality has nothing to do with the law of noncontradiction — it’s just that our language doesn’t permit us to talk about contradictions, so we need to describe things in a way that avoids them, otherwise we can’t communicate and get our meaning across.

Anyway, very rambly and philosophical, but I can bet you’ll find this extremely valuable. I certainly did.

For real estate, ground your doubts in reality. What about this specific situation makes you think X? List it down. And make sure you don’t list any “what ifs” or possibilities. No, list things for which there IS evidence. If there is no evidence for it, then don’t consider it probable in your judgement.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

"let me try this way and see what happens"

That’s where you don’t get Mike. Mike doesn’t think like you — Mike is worried about the mere possibility of being a fool. It’s not a matter of probability — even 1% chance of being a fool is too much for him. That worry is grounded in much deeper confusion which needs to be solved first, before he can accept your probabilistic approach to reality. You yourself are unaware of how to solve it because you take your assumptions about reality for granted, as if Mike also shares them. And that’s not the case.

That’s the source of conflict. Read through my post above, and that will probably offer a few light bulb moments for you.

 

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[Antifragile]

even 1% chance of being a fool is too much

I look like a fool all the time. So it no longer bothers me. Plus, it’s good for other people’s entertainment, so I’m still adding value. Mmkeeey???


Edit: jokes aside, you become an expert at something by doing it. No need for a psychologist to figure out operating systems. Just need to do.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I look like a fool all the time. So it no longer bothers me. Plus, it’s good for other people’s entertainment, so I’m still adding value. Mmkeeey???


Edit: jokes aside, you become an expert at something by doing it. No need for a psychologist to figure out operating systems. Just need to do.

I agree with everything you say, the only thing is that I feel you still think that the doing is a simple, straightforward matter. And no doubt for you it is. But I think some people have some deeper confusions they need to solve to be able to see things as you do, and hence DO.

It’s 100% fact that you only become an expert and grow in skill by doing. But I think aomeone like Mike already agrees with that. His thinking though is “how can I act when I don’t know how I should act?”

This reminds me of Heidegger’s reply to Marx’s claim that philsophy’s job isn’t to interpret the world, but to change it:

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OxmzGT1w_kk


Namely, any action presupposes a prior conception of “how to act”. If there is confusion on the “how to act” level, deep, entrenched, philosophical confusion, then it will PREVENT action. The solution to acting isn’t “just do it” — it’s solving the confusion that stops the doing in the first place.

 

[mikecarlooch]

And that's where I am trying to correct you, Mike.

My mind goes the other way! I can't help think "let me try this way and see what happens". For example: let me ask for money from an investor, that experience will teach me what I don't know. I'll fail at first, I am not an idiot, I know that. But then I can tweak how I did it, what I didn't know and do it again, it'll work when I get better at it.

Same with sites, when a broker tells me "hey, this group has more money than anyone we probably will go with them" I can't help but think "what can I do to test a new way of working with a broker"... so I came up with "what if I paid more commission? What if I offer them ability to invest in the project? What if I let them sell the project which would 10x their commission later?" 100s of ideas emerge, I start testing them one by one from most likely to succeed to the "whacky crazy stuff least likely to work" ...

If you wait until all the stars align to do your thing, you'll wait forever. (this holds for family, kids, business, fitness, happiness - everything).

Nothing wrong with books, I love books, I am a voracious reader! But they only have value if you apply what you read.

Yes, we're getting somewhere here. Let's get deep.

@Black_Dragon43 in his post said "It’s 100% fact that you only become an expert and grow in skill by doing. But I think aomeone like Mike already agrees with that. His thinking though is “how can I act when I don’t know how I should act?”

This is exactly correct.

To me, the one question I've been trying to figure out is..

"What is doing?"

I spend ungodly amounts of time stressing over this question, it's been years of me asking this question and it still tugs at me. It's a source of my anxiety because I can't answer it.

When someone tells me "Just Do It", what happens in my mind is this:

Think of a blank room. All you see is white. And then after walking around for a little bit with no direction (because everything is white), you find a stack of books on the floor.

"Maybe these will answer my big question!"

So since everything else is just.. White.. You pick up the book and start reading to find the answer.

That is my life, and what goes on inside my head.

In the real world, that translates to me sitting, trying to think deeply, what the HECK to do?

I know the book is bad for me, but it will make me feel like I'm learning something, and plus, maybe I'll find the answer in there. It's not only a crutch for boredom, but a source of hope.

And then after I read the book, I realize it was all just a big smoke screen. Because when I put down the book all I can see again.. Is white.

And the most difficult part about it?

I know that I am searching for the answer to a question, where the answer is right under my nose, and I still can't see it.

However, what you said above makes me think of this metaphor:

In that white room, let's say you are armed with the fundamentals of a discipline and understand how a commercial syndication takes place.

This fundamental knowledge allows us to think creatively about this idea.

So instead of just white, if you think deeply about how to put together a deal..

Ideas start showing up in that white room (like the idea you said.. get in contact with investors and ask them for money)

There's a lot of possible ideas that start popping up, but they feel insignificant.

They feel like there's no point in doing them, because they will likely turn out to be wrong, and I actually missed the right thing to do.

Like my interpretation of what you said is to put together a deal that looks good in theory by using my own research, then calling investors.

But first I go and look for confirmation. Does someone with experience think that what I'm about to do is a good idea? What is their reaction?

If they give me a good reaction, my confidence increases. If they give me a bad reaction, my confidence in doing that action decreases.

But then what happens is, after I make that phone call and have that 30 minute conversation with that investor..

I'm back in that white box.

I start looking around saying..

"Where did they all go?! It's just white again!"

Then confidence & motivation drop, because I don't know how to use the remaining time.

"What's there to do ? I did due diligence on my deal and now am waiting to hear feedback from an investor.. What is there to do now??"

So.. just like how they say "take another hit!" to a drug addict..

For me it's "just read another book, eventually you'll find your way back to the ideas in the white room!"

edit:
You seem worried about losing investor money that you never had. Get the money, let the investor worry about their due diligence on you. This act alone will lead to an experience.

You ask "hey, can I have $1MM to do this and that" and they go "Show me a, b, c and d before I decide". Boom, 100x better than any book. It's current. It's market telling you what it wants. Now you may have "a" but missing "c" and need a textbook to improve your pro-forma, fine - buy the textbook and rip off the best pro-forma model you can find.

Go after investor 2, 3... 15. Each one will have similarly valuable feedback. It become REAL fast. YOU become better.

This is extremely practical, and feels real. Like something you can do with a foundational understanding of how CRE syndications work, and just requires the ability to overcome looking like a fool. So this is a very helpful piece here to me.

I agree with everything you say, the only thing is that I feel you still think that the doing is a simple, straightforward matter. And no doubt for you it is. But I think some people have some deeper confusions they need to solve to be able to see things as you do, and hence DO.

I want to get to this point, and trust me am willing to DO the work. I wouldn't be stressing myself each day trying to figure out what to do if I didn't have an intention of doing it.

Namely, any action presupposes a prior conception of “how to act”. If there is confusion on the “how to act” level, deep, entrenched, philosophical confusion, then it will PREVENT action. The solution to acting isn’t “just do it” — it’s solving the confusion that stops the doing in the first place.

I think the problem is that people like me think too deeply. I know it's right under my nose. But I can't see it.

Why?

It's a question I seek the answer to every day.

It seems that your biggest fear so to speak is shame — you fear doing something you shouldn’t do. You fear being an idiot.

It’s not that you fear failure — what you really fear isn’t failure, but rather being a fool in the process. Making the wrong decision — or making a decision out of stupidity rather than because the decision has warrant.

I suffer from OCD. You may too — while just these thoughts aren’t indicative of OCD, I have seen this mindset very frequently in people who have been diagnosed with OCD. At the very minimum I’d say you are predisposed to OCD even if not suffering from it. People with this mindset tend to be stuck in their heads (myself included), and often worry based on POSSIBILITIES, rather than PROBABILITIES.

I doubt what @Antifragile says above resonates with you. You probably think “how does the 1% improvement help me, if I can still make the wrong decision and fail? Wtf is this guy even talking about?” And that’s not your fault — your mind is basically functioning on a different operating system from most normal people.

You see, most people when faced with risk, they look at the probabilities and act accordingly. Someone like us, looks at the possibilities instead, zero-in on the worst case scenario imaginable, and can’t let go of it. Because “what if”…

The root cause of this, as far as I can see, is mistaking the map for the territory. We are stuck in our head, stuck in language and imagination, where possibilities live and away from reality where facts and probabilities are.

And… everything is possible. Something is not possible only if it’s a logical contradiction, but everything else, even being abducted by aliens tonight, is possible.

Logic as such is much more about the structure of LANGUAGE than the structure of REALITY. And this is why I say that people with this problem often mistake language for reality and are stuck in their heads. This then turns to magical thinking — you believe that by changing how you think, you can change reality. The fundamental belief fueling your worries is that you can “solve” the worries by turning them from side to side and by keeping on thinking. You are convinced about this. Even when you say “it doesn’t make sense”, you are still convinced 100% by it, because you continue to act accordingly. So you think manipulating language through the imagination, in your head, you can prevent tragedy in reality.

We learn about reality from our senses. Our doubts are often not rooted in the senses (real doubt) but rather in the imagination (fake doubt).

The other thing to realize is that “what if X?” has no truth value… a doubt cannot be true or false. That which is in doubt, X, can be true or false and that’s where we can make an assessment — a probabilistic assessment. But with our doubts, we cannot “solve” them, because they are a matter of language, not a matter of reality. They are an issue with the relationship between our MAP and the underlying REALITY. They have no truth value — there is nothing to solve in “what if X?”.

While there is no certainty in the real world, we do grow in certainty as facts continue to amass. This is the basis of Bayesian thinking. While it’s important to be aware of the fact that there are “black swan events” that surprise us, for the most part, white swans are the norm.

Now what gives a decision warrant? It’s certainly not possibility — possibility is a matter of logic. You have no reason to doubt that you girlfriend is loyal to you, but you still doubt it, because, who knows, she may be speaking to someone else and you don’t know about it. Is this doubt justified? No. Because it’s based on possibility, or imagination, it’s based on the map, not on the territory.

On the other hand if you find some new Victoria secret underwear in her car, and she hides her phone from you, and seems less responsive than normal, now you have some grounds for doubt — notice, it’s still not grounds to think she’s cheating on you, but sufficient grounds to warrant further investigation.

Now what happens in a situation where there are no signs she’s cheating on you… and you find out 10 years later that she was doing her fitness trainer at that time. Now THIS is the situation you fear right? Because you’d think “F*ck, how could I be so stupid and not know about this for so long?!”

And the defense against this is an intolerance of possibility. You shriek back from reality and retreat into the map, which you can control mentally.

But, now we go back to warrant. For you to be STUPID in taking a decision means that the belief in question lacks warrant, and you believe it despite the lack of warrant and it turns out to be false.

Because if you believe X when everything points to X being true, and it turns out that X is false, then you were not stupid for believing X while all the evidence pointed to it being the case.

This means you need to stop thinking in terms of possibilities — remember, possibilities are a matter of language or the map, that which we use to talk about reality itself, and not a function of reality.

Instead, you need to learn to start thinking in terms of probabilities. Yes, you may be wrong, but what are you most justified to believe in situation X? If you are justified to believe it, even if you are wrong, you cannot be blamed for it, and hence you cannot be stupid in taking that decision.

Before we saw the first black swan, we were certainly justified to believe that most swans are likely to be white. We were not entitled to believe that ABSOLUTELY all swans are white — but that they most likely are white would have been a reasonable conclusion.

You need to start reasoning probabilistically about reality. Learn to think statistically. Look into Bayesian thinking. Read books loke Thinking Fast & Slow, The Signal and the Noise or Thinking in Bets.

Reality has no certainty. Certainty is an artifice of language, it doesn’t exist in the world. It’s a made up thing, that describes how we can TALK about reality. It’s not that logical contradictions are impossible in reality. It’s not that A and not A can’t both be the case. But rather that if both A and not A were the case, then we would be making an error of language, and not expressing ourselves well. For example, “sand is hard and soft”. I really mean that a grain of sand is hard when pressing it between your fingers and that a mound of sand is soft when putting your hand on it. And by saying sand is hard and soft I confuse my meaning — I’m making an error of LANGUAGE. Reality has nothing to do with the law of noncontradiction — it’s just that our language doesn’t permit us to talk about contradictions, so we need to describe things in a way that avoids them, otherwise we can’t communicate and get our meaning across.

Anyway, very rambly and philosophical, but I can bet you’ll find this extremely valuable. I certainly did.

For real estate, ground your doubts in reality. What about this specific situation makes you think X? List it down. And make sure you don’t list any “what ifs” or possibilities. No, list things for which there IS evidence. If there is no evidence for it, then don’t consider it probable in your judgement.

This is going to take me a few reads to understand. thanks for writing.

 

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[mikecarlooch]

I suffer from OCD. You may too — while just these thoughts aren’t indicative of OCD, I have seen this mindset very frequently in people who have been diagnosed with OCD. At the very minimum I’d say you are predisposed to OCD even if not suffering from it. People with this mindset tend to be stuck in their heads (myself included), and often worry based on POSSIBILITIES, rather than PROBABILITIES.

Oh yea.

I mean I never put words on it

But you should've seen me when I was posting social media videos. Obsession. You could not get me to do anything else.

Or when I was selling basketball cards. Obsession. But not in a good way. I'd spend hours cherishing the $40,000 sports card collection I had and wasted a ton of time.

Crypto. When I had my money in it I did nothing but watch it.

Girls. When i went through my phase of obsession with cold approaches, it cut off every other aspect of my life.

Books. When I read one book I need to read 50.

This forum. When I post something I am anticipating responses (listen, I'm just being an open book here)..

Bodybuilding. My god, I spent years isolating myself because I had to get bodybuilding down to a T

Jiu Jitsu. I felt like I needed to go 7 days per week, and did for a long time. Dedicated 70% of my life to it.

Entrepreneurship in general. Would you believe me if I said I have barely thought of anything besides it for the past 3-5 years? (even when obsessed with jiu jitsu and bodybuilding, I was not present due to thinking about entrepreneurship.. LOL)

However, there is a good to it.

When I had my last company that worked for a while, I was obsessive about figuring out how to grow it. I could do nothing else. I gave 0 shits about posting on this forum.

And I'm assuming, whenever I get it through my thick freaking skull, that taking action is the answer, I will obsess so heavily about real estate syndications that it will almost be on the autistic spectrum (seriously, lol).

 

[Kevin88660]

Hey Mike, I've been rooting for you, and in the DMs we've spent countless hours talking, didn't we? But let's cut the crap.

You've got an addiction that's holding you back from achieving your goals. It's not the fun kind of addiction, like collecting vintage comic books or binge-watching cat videos.

No, you're addicted to asking questions!

And not even good ones. You're like a squirrel on caffeine, bouncing from one topic to another, thinking you're making progress. But guess what? You're not. You're just spinning your wheels like a hamster on a wheel, going nowhere fast.

It's time to stop the madness and actually do something. You know, like putting together a real estate deal instead of just talking about it. I'm disappointed in you, Mike.

You talk a big game about being an entrepreneur in motion, but all I see is a guy stuck in neutral.

So, put on your big boy pants and get moving. No more excuses, no more 'revelations' from people you meet or self-help books or textbooks or whatever the heck you get into next. Just go out there and make something happen.

Why am I being so blunt? Because I've raised hundreds of millions for GP/LP structures and billions in debt structures without asking for help. I figured it out on my own, and that's the only way you're going to succeed too. No, I am not bragging, I am pointing out that entrepreneurship is about solving problems, figuring out what others find hard to do.

So, Mike, it's time to stop asking questions and start taking action. Go put a real estate deal together and show the world what you're made of. No more stalling, no more excuses, no more vague business ideas, plans, etc.

Just do it!

But if he had not asked the questions. Others would not have benefitted from reading it.

So long he keeps his actions going when he is not engaged with the forum, thats fine.

 

[Antifragile]

But first I go and look for confirmation. Does someone with experience think that what I'm about to do is a good idea? What is their reaction?

Way too much to unpack with the larger posts, but let me try anyway.

1. Have you considered what if the people you are asking who "have experience" are full of crap? What if they too don't know what they don't know?
2. Would you rather find out by quickly testing your own assumptions or by listening to 100 people and trying to solve for conflicting advice? If the customer wants what you are selling, you don't need "someone with experience" to tell you that, you need the customer to tell you that!

Years ago when I started in the industry I thought everyone knew everything and I knew nothing. I felt pretty bad and like you asked a lot of questions. I talked to my boss (who was an employee too) why he wasn't running his own company. He explained that to start one in our line of work, he'd need at least $5MM in cash... My brain went "find the money = start a business".

But there was a huge problem, you see... he knew how to do it all and I knew nothing.

As time went on, I felt the opposite ... like no one knew anything and it was all just a crapshoot, people would tell me one thing and then do it differently the next day! I felt I knew enough to go on my own... and boy, how little did I know.

Now a decade and a half later I know I was visiting Mt Stupid... but that's a story for another day.

This is normal and even has a name!

How The Dunning-Kruger Effect:​

What's the point?

When someone tells me "Just Do It", what happens in my mind is this:

Think of a blank room. All you see is white. And then after walking around for a little bit with no direction (because everything is white), you find a stack of books on the floor.

"Maybe these will answer my big question!"

So since everything else is just.. White.. You pick up the book and start reading to find the answer.

That is my life, and what goes on inside my head.

In the real world, that translates to me sitting, trying to think deeply, what the HECK to do?

I know the book is bad for me, but it will make me feel like I'm learning something, and plus, maybe I'll find the answer in there. It's not only a crutch for boredom, but a source of hope.

And then after I read the book, I realize it was all just a big smoke screen. Because when I put down the book all I can see again.. Is white.

The point is that what you call "white room", is not white at all.

You are seeing exactly what I am seeing just choosing to ignore what you see. What the heck do I mean but that?

Example: I say "go put a RE deal together" and you should then try to put the pieces together on how typical RE deals come together. There is no mystery there, and you have not only read the books but have a partner in the business who apparently did that already!

Why not direct your questions for the good of the deal?

Why not use your question asking abilities to drill your own

• partner,
• brokers,
• bankers,
• investors,
• contractor,
• architect,
• appraiser,
• enviro consultant, and
• everyone else you involve in DOING the deal?

Can you imagine how much ACTIONABLE knowledge you'd gain?


edit:

When I had my last company that worked for a while, I was obsessive about figuring out how to grow it. I could do nothing else. I gave 0 shits about posting on this forum.

And I'm assuming, whenever I get it through my thick freaking skull, that taking action is the answer, I will obsess so heavily about real estate syndications that it will almost be on the autistic spectrum (seriously, lol).

Obsession is a good quality when directed right. Jumping from one shiny rock to another while being obsessive is why I called you a squirrel on caffeine. You need to settle down on just one thing and stick with it.

Maybe the disconnect (and boy is this an unpopular opinion here) is that you want to be "successful" in 3 years where as I've been saying it to everyone who listens that Real Estate is 10 years. You trying to shortcut it can make you waste 3 years over and over again, until you are at year 15 and thinking "geezzz 10 years wasn't that long after all"...

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

Oh yea.

I mean I never put words on it

But you should've seen me when I was posting social media videos. Obsession. You could not get me to do anything else.

Or when I was selling basketball cards. Obsession. But not in a good way. I'd spend hours cherishing the $40,000 sports card collection I had and wasted a ton of time.

Crypto. When I had my money in it I did nothing but watch it.

Girls. When i went through my phase of obsession with cold approaches, it cut off every other aspect of my life.

Books. When I read one book I need to read 50.

This forum. When I post something I am anticipating responses (listen, I'm just being an open book here)..

Bodybuilding. My god, I spent years isolating myself because I had to get bodybuilding down to a T

Jiu Jitsu. I felt like I needed to go 7 days per week, and did for a long time. Dedicated 70% of my life to it.

Entrepreneurship in general. Would you believe me if I said I have barely thought of anything besides it for the past 3-5 years? (even when obsessed with jiu jitsu and bodybuilding, I was not present due to thinking about entrepreneurship.. LOL)

However, there is a good to it.

When I had my last company that worked for a while, I was obsessive about figuring out how to grow it. I could do nothing else. I gave 0 shits about posting on this forum.

And I'm assuming, whenever I get it through my thick freaking skull, that taking action is the answer, I will obsess so heavily about real estate syndications that it will almost be on the autistic spectrum (seriously, lol).

Yeah, these are the sure signs that you have an obsessive personality. Whether this qualifies as OCD or OCPD or neither is less important – I personally don't believe in labels... in the sense that I don't believe there actually is anything out there that is described by the label. There is nothing "wrong" per se. But for sure, it is a personality trait that some people have.

I am the same. I am obsessive in everything that I do. As you have said, it does have its positive side, which is great. It makes me able to do things that most people wouldn't even dream of. But, it can also be a big stumbling block that makes you invest your time in all sorts of activities that lead to ineffective results. This is by far also my number 1 problem.

The issue from my research and experience with this, is that unlike a normal person who can easily and naturally disengage from a particular thought, someone with an obsessive personality can't. It's like that one thought takes possession of you and acts through you. When this obsession latches onto something productive, you smash it. Doesn't matter that it's a particular business idea, public speaking, or something else. You totally control it.

But very often, it latches onto things that are not productive. Trying to find "the best" answer is often one of these terribly unproductive obsessions. And then you get steered away from your goals.

There are no easy solutions to this — you must practice having some control over your thoughts, rather than being pulled by them in whatever direction.

Maybe the disconnect (and boy is this an unpopular opinion here) is that you want to be "successful" in 3 years where as I've been saying it to everyone who listens that Real Estate is 10 years. You trying to shortcut it can make you waste 3 years over and over again, until you are at year 15 and thinking "geezzz 10 years wasn't that long after all"...

The obvious answer is quit real estate, make your cash in a faster industry, and then pour it back into real estate at some point. I wouldn’t mind doing real estate myself… but first I want $3M-$5M in cash so that I can push people around properly. They don’t respect me if I have less cash, I won’t get the good deals!

In the meantime, I’m buying property with extra cash. I have 2 atm apart from where I live. Hopefully by end of the year I can add another.

If the customer wants what you are selling, you don't need "someone with experience" to tell you that, you need the customer to tell you that!

My philosophy is that the customer WILL want what I’m selling. If they don’t, then I haven’t done my job properly as a salesperson. And that is very much the case, I have seen it proven over and over again. A great salesperson closes 5-6x more deals than a poor one. Makes a BIG difference.

So I see it as risky to trust the customer. If he doesn’t want what I’m selling I assume I made a mistake (assuming he has the problems I solve). If he doesn’t believe my solution can solve his problems, that too is my fault.

 

[Kevin88660]

You nailed it.

I unfortunately have deep down thoughts (that I like to stay away from and act like I don't have). It might be from past childhood programming:

- If the deal is available and another investor hasn't already taken it, then i'd probably end up a sucker by buying something I don't understand

-They probably won't choose me to buy the property because as soon as 1 other group comes in that's more experienced, I'm out

-Who the heck would give me their money and why would anyone want to partner with me on a deal worth millions of dollars? I've only been part of deals worth like 100k-300k.

-If I put together something wrong and fail, and lose people's money, my reputation and confidence are screwed

-The only way to know what to do is to ask people that know what to do

-If I go and contact brokers to find me a commercial deal that meets my criteria, and then I think that deal meets my criteria but I'm actually just deluding myself that my "criteria" is good, then i'll end up a sucker.

-If I have a good idea for something that could be done on a property and I tell someone, why don't they just do it and exclude me?

-If a deal is already on the market, it's bad

-We are kind of just like, here in the moment right now. Like what do I do? Oh, there's a book over there, that'll give me something to do.

Just dumb shit like this.

And trust me i'm heavily aware of it.

And it really bothers me. It stresses me the f*ck out a lot.

And I see what this type of thinking leads to in my family. Nothingness. Complete risk aversion. I hate it, and want to be the outlier who breaks the stupid cycle.

Possible to find a more experienced partner and tap along?

 

[mikecarlooch]

Example: I say "go put a RE deal together" and you should then try to put the pieces together on how typical RE deals come together. There is no mystery there, and you have not only read the books but have a partner in the business who apparently did that already!

THIS.

I know where that "white room" comes from.

Want to know where?

A desire to be different.

The thought that if you take the traditional path and "do it like everyone else"..

Then you cannot go fastlane.

If I follow the same system as everyone else, i'll end up making $100k / year like most people in this industry.. So if I want to build something massive, I need to find a new way to do things.

Whenever I've been jumping from thing to thing, I've been trying to FIND the mystery.

Like, in wholesaling for example, it really bothers me to see a bunch of people making YouTube videos about wholesaling… because it makes me feel like it’s this get rich quick scheme all of a sudden and I shouldn’t associate myself with any of the people that do it the “traditional” way. Anything where YouTubers are or people are selling courses, i become skeptical of.

How can I do this completely different than how the industry works?

But I'm starting to see this as a ridiculous thing.

Yes, it might sound crazy, but my thinking when I got into real estate, was "I'm gonna do this whole thing different"..

It's actually just something that keeps me stuck.

Yea, the industry says I need to get PCA's, environmental reports, surveys, zoning, ancillary, lease audits, estoppels yada yada yada.. But what if i could just find a creative way to use technology to make this stuff faster?

But this is a trap. The entrance to the world of over-complication and do-nothingness.

I understand now that the industrial, retail, office, and multifamily properties in RE.. ARE the entrepreneurship. Putting a building somewhere because it HELPS people..

Rather than trying to artificially manipulate the entire process of deal underwriting, acquisition, and management.

Why not direct your questions for the good of the deal?

Why not use your question asking abilities to drill your own

• partner,
• brokers,
• bankers,
• investors,
• contractor,
• architect,
• appraiser,
• enviro consultant, and
• everyone else you involve in DOING the deal?

Can you imagine how much ACTIONABLE knowledge you'd gain?

Valuable insight to me. Thank you.

Obsession is a good quality when directed right. Jumping from one shiny rock to another while being obsessive is why I called you a squirrel on caffeine. You need to settle down on just one thing and stick with it.

Maybe the disconnect (and boy is this an unpopular opinion here) is that you want to be "successful" in 3 years where as I've been saying it to everyone who listens that Real Estate is 10 years. You trying to shortcut it can make you waste 3 years over and over again, until you are at year 15 and thinking "geezzz 10 years wasn't that long after all"...

Yes.

It sometimes feels like I'm rushed. Shit, by 30 I'm old and I've missed the chance to be what I want to be in my 20's..!!

Won't be able to retire my mom young enough!!

Grandma might not get to see me young and rich!!

I'm aware of my BS thinking though.

 

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[Robdavis]

@mikecarlooch

Hello Mike, it sounds to me like you think that "you aren't good enough" in some way...

So when you have an idea, you dismiss it, because it is yours.

When you face competition you recoil, because you think they will crush you.

When you need to take action, you guess what to do and then dismiss it, because it was your idea.

When you come up with a plan, you don't believe in it because you wrote it.

So you spend your time mining other people thoughts, either by talking to them, or by reading books, so that you can get ideas that are not your own.

When you plan to get some results, you dismiss the magnitude of those results because some other people are doing much better than that, so you need to find a better model.

When you finally get started, you obsess over that thing because you think that that is the one thing that will "fix" you and make you as good as everyone else. When that doesn't work, you quit and pivot to something else.

All beliefs around "we aren't good enough" are typically garbage, because they dismiss the idea that we can learn and grow.


You've admitted in a post above that you have done $100k - $300k deals in the past. Why can't you do another of those to get some momentum and then look to shoot for something a bit bigger like $500k and grow that way?

Hope this helps.

 

[mikecarlooch]

Yeah, these are the sure signs that you have an obsessive personality. Whether this qualifies as OCD or OCPD or neither is less important – I personally don't believe in labels... in the sense that I don't believe there actually is anything out there that is described by the label. There is nothing "wrong" per se. But for sure, it is a personality trait that some people have.

I am the same. I am obsessive in everything that I do. As you have said, it does have its positive side, which is great. It makes me able to do things that most people wouldn't even dream of. But, it can also be a big stumbling block that makes you invest your time in all sorts of activities that lead to ineffective results. This is by far also my number 1 problem.

The issue from my research and experience with this, is that unlike a normal person who can easily and naturally disengage from a particular thought, someone with an obsessive personality can't. It's like that one thought takes possession of you and acts through you. When this obsession latches onto something productive, you smash it. Doesn't matter that it's a particular business idea, public speaking, or something else. You totally control it.

But very often, it latches onto things that are not productive. Trying to find "the best" answer is often one of these terribly unproductive obsessions. And then you get steered away from your goals.

There are no easy solutions to this — you must practice having some control over your thoughts, rather than being pulled by them in whatever direction.

This is deep.

It sounds like the answer is deliberately to use willpower to focus on what you really want, something that is productive, until your brain latches on and creates the obsession.

 

[mikecarlooch]

@mikecarlooch

Hello Mike, it sounds to me like you think that "you aren't good enough" in some way...

So when you have an idea, you dismiss it, because it is yours.

When you face competition you recoil, because you think they will crush you.

When you need to take action, you guess what to do and then dismiss it, because it was your idea.

When you come up with a plan, you don't believe in it because you wrote it.

So you spend your time mining other people thoughts, either by talking to them, or by reading books, so that you can get ideas that are not your own.

When you plan to get some results, you dismiss the magnitude of those results because some other people are doing much better than that, so you need to find a better model.

When you finally get started, you obsess over that thing because you think that that is the one thing that will "fix" you and make you as good as everyone else. When that doesn't work, you quit and pivot to something else.

All beliefs around "we aren't good enough" are typically garbage, because they dismiss the idea that we can learn and grow.

This is a great analysis of my feelings.

Yes. Thank you for being able to catch this.

You've admitted in a post above that you have done $100k - $300k deals in the past. Why can't you do another of those to get some momentum and then look to shoot for something a bit bigger like $500k and grow that way?

The answer, is that it feels like im not thinking big enough.

It makes me feel like just another "wholesale bro" that is just like everyone else trying to do a wholesale deal.

And just like I said in the most recent reply to @Antifragile , it complicates my life.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

All beliefs around "we aren't good enough" are typically garbage, because they dismiss the idea that we can learn and grow.

This was a great post.

For me, it seems that the underlying belief that’s causing obsessive problems is “I don’t deserve to be successful”.

There’s a slight difference between “I don’t deserve to be successful” and “I can’t be successful”. In my case, I fully believe I CAN be very successful, but I don’t believe I deserve it. This is also part of the reason why I find it very hard to work with this — merely adopting a growth mindset doesn’t work as well as it does for the lack of self-confidence belief.

So I believe I’ve mastered the thinking part behind self-esteem, but not the feeling part. It’s one thing to think you can do it, and another thing to feel that you deserve it. Both are required for real self-esteem.

 

[Andy Black]

I'm only catching the tail end of this so don't really know what's going on.

If you've not watched this video already then it may help you Mike:

MINDSET - Start Faster. Stop "Learning".

If you're just getting started, haven't made a sale, or feel you're spinning your wheels then this 8 minute video should help. It's pulled out of a longer call (also linked below). Curious what your main takeaways are, and what you'll do different going forward. View...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[mikecarlooch]

I'm only catching the tail end of this so don't really know what's going on.

If you've not watched this video already then it may help you Mike:

MINDSET - Start Faster. Stop "Learning".

If you're just getting started, haven't made a sale, or feel you're spinning your wheels then this 8 minute video should help. It's pulled out of a longer call (also linked below). Curious what your main takeaways are, and what you'll do different going forward. View...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Thank you for holding me accountable for watching this Andy I know you sent it probably 3/4 times.

I watched it, it’s kind of like my brain has been thinking all of this crazy stuff and what you’re saying is the needle in the haystack of my thoughts.

“Hey man, just do this.. you’re complicating it!”

I’ll try to think back to what you said each time I’m in a state over over complicating

Edit:

“Over complication is the art of solving problems we don’t have”

Great quote

 

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[Andy Black]

Thank you for holding me accountable for watching this Andy I know you sent it probably 3/4 times.

I watched it, it’s kind of like my brain has been thinking all of this crazy stuff and what you’re saying is the needle in the haystack of my thoughts.

“Hey man, just do this.. you’re complicating it!”

I’ll try to think back to what you said each time I’m in a state over over complicating

Edit:

“Over complication is the art of solving problems we don’t have”

Great quote

I prefer saying "Overthinking is the art of solving problems you don't have." Remembering that should help you the next time you're solving problems you don't have.

I'd say the "I'm not enough" gene is a lot of what's holding you back. Just say "I *am* enough. Because I say I am."

You could also ask yourself "What if I already know enough?" What action would you take if you already knew enough and didn't need to learn any more and didn't need any mentors?

 

[mikecarlooch]

I prefer saying "Overthinking is the art of solving problems you don't have." Remembering that should help you the next time you're solving problems you don't have.

I'd say the "I'm not enough" gene is a lot of what's holding you back. Just say "I *am* enough. Because I say I am."

Yes!!

You could also ask yourself "What if I already know enough?" What action would you take if you already knew enough and didn't need to learn any more and didn't need any mentors?

Might as well put it out here to keep myself accountable to the public, I said this in dm to @Antifragile :

I want to show myself that I am capable of putting together that commercial deal and actually follow through with it.

So my steps from here are to start reaching out to sellers to find off market deals the same way I've been doing with residential properties for the past year, analyzing deals, underwriting them, showing them to investors, then from there we'll see what happens.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I'd say the "I'm not enough" gene is a lot of what's holding you back. Just say "I *am* enough. Because I say I am."

This never seemed to do anything for me. I tried to adjust it “I deserve it because I say I deserve it”

My mind immediately rejects it as an invalid reason. “Me saying X doesn’t make it so — reality is independent from my thoughts”

 

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[Andy Black]

So my steps from here are to start reaching out to sellers to find off market deals the same way I've been doing with residential properties for the past year, analyzing deals, underwriting them, showing them to investors, then from there we'll see what happens.

I didn't know you were in the property business.

I'm confused by the above. Do you mean you're not working with residential properties now? You're just focusing on commercial properties?

Curious how you find sellers, if that's not proprietory.

I ask because one of our clients is a property portal and searches on Google for "<property-type> <location>" is plentiful, long tail, and low CPC (we're getting sub €0.03 CPC sometimes). Sure, they're mostly residential buyers, but a lot are likely selling a property too. I'm not sure about commercial property sellers via Google Ads - I've not thought of that.

 

[Andy Black]

This never seemed to do anything for me. I tried to adjust it “I deserve it because I say I deserve it”

My mind immediately rejects it as an invalid reason. “Me saying X doesn’t make it so — reality is independent from my thoughts”

It's more a case that people ARE already enough (smart enough, good looking enough, whatever) but think they're not. Saying "I *am* enough, because I say I am." can help them get unstuck and just do it.

Personally, I don't like the thinking behind "I deserve". It reminds me of kids complaining that "It's not fair" and stamping their feet.

Just my 2c.

 

[Black_Dragon43]

It's more a case that people ARE already enough (smart enough, good looking enough, whatever) but think they're not. Saying "I *am* enough, because I say I am." can help them get unstuck and just do it.

I see what you mean. I don’t really have an issue with self-belief (“I can’t do it”), my issue is more with “I don’t deserve it” (self-esteem?). That’s why I tried to adapt it a bit.

So I can only imagine how I’d feel if I did feel I’m not enough and I tried to use it. My first thought is that I’d feel like I’m gaslighting myself, because I don’t believe it. And “because I say I am” doesn’t seem like a valid justification/proof to me to cause me to believe it.

Maybe if I dealt with low self-belief I’d look at previous situations where I thought I wasn’t enough, but then it turned out I was. So going through several examples like that would help me question my belief that I am not enough and put a degree of doubt into it. I felt like this in the past, but actually that feeling was wrong because it turned out I was enough.

This type of logic may be harder to adapt for beginners. In my opinion (and this may disagree with your POV), beginners have to risk not being enough to find out if they are enough or not.

 

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[mikecarlooch]

I didn't know you were in the property business.

I'm confused by the above. Do you mean you're not working with residential properties now? You're just focusing on commercial properties?

Not exactly, just adding.

We have a very strong dataset of hard-to-get data with millions of properties on it (residential), people that have listed in the past but didn't sell their properties (different from expireds)

We're able to use it to get referral fees from realtors, JV deals with wholesalers outside of florida, and wholesale deals inside of florida.

The problem is that in order to make it work I need to come out of pocket up-front in order to skiptrace the leads in order to reach out to them with the proprietary technology that we created, which would cost a lot.

Originally what we were doing with this data is having realtors pay us to find leads, they'd pay us say $200 for a lead and we'd do that every single day. But it turned out that selling information without someone knowing is illegal.

However, there's nothing that says we can't give them away for free.

The good thing about this is that since it doesn't take much effort to facilitate these types of transactions and give them to others, all realtors and JV partners need to do is sign agreements, then we send over the leads we found for them in our database using the tech.

It allows me time to put together a syndicated commercial deal especially with the unfair advantage of having a partner in the business, so taking on that challenge and syndicating a commercial deal, that is my goal currently.

Curious how you find sellers, if that's not proprietory.

We use tons of data sources and the data we get is not obvious. For someone else to get it, it would probably cost 5-6 figures. We got lucky in getting it.

We also have a good way to reach out to these people (through proprietary tech), and don't use any paid ads.

The skip tracing is the issue. It costs about $0.03 per lead upfront.

But when deals close, it's a big profit, and it potentially scales if we can figure this out.

I ask because one of our clients is a property portal and searches on Google for "<property-type> <location>" is plentiful, long tail, and low CPC (we're getting sub €0.03 CPC sometimes). Sure, they're mostly residential buyers, but a lot are likely selling a property too. I'm not sure about commercial property sellers via Google Ads - I've not thought of that.

Yea, I'll be using the same exact strategy for commercial properties.

I haven't empirically tested them enough yet to give an answer on commercial.

But I assume (from what I've done so far in scraping commercial leads) that finding sellers is not much different than residential.

 

[Mr. Tycoon]

The smooth ride ensures that you’re never in doubt. I know two guys who started a local eCommerce business in the eyeware niche. Every year for the past 9 years they have doubled revenues. They’re now at $13M. They have also expanded into physical stores. Yes, they’ve had problems, but it was always a smooth ride, they knew exactly what to do next.

Pretty much on point. I'm in a new business since April 2020 and I haven't had a bad month, quarter, or year since then. Everything is going so smoothly that I'm pretty shocked. Yes, I had some issues here and there that weren't in my control, but nothing major. Everything is going better than I'm expecting, actually. It's insane. There are months now when I make more than my previous 5 years combined when I was struggling and working harder. Basically, the business is running itself, and I have to keep pace with it, not the other way around.