Fvck relationships and friendships

[eliquid]

If you don't know anyone there yet then you can't possibly know that everyone there has no integrity.

Were you the same person that got flamed here last month trying to dig out detailed info about someone esle's success here:

HOT! - how rare is it for entreprenuers to earn over 60k profit per month?

40,000 self employed businesses making $1mil+ How many self employed businesses are there though? According to google; 16 million. Yeah, its rare. Yes, and since it includes finance and real estate, doesn't that mean it includes those who are merely managing their "money system" at this...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

Someone made money in that thread, and you wanted a one-stop recipe hand detailed out case study so you could copy. Your words here:

It would be very interesting and very helpful to many people if you detailed exactly what you did. Just saying "dropshipping" is not enough. What is needed is something like "I contacted company X and got pricing for every unit sold." Details like that that show exactly how it was done. Most "success" books just talk about having a positive attitude, etc.. That's definitely important but the exact know if critical and getting money into one's bank account. So a detailed case study would be unprecedented.

and:

I was looking for a "one stop" place to get detailed know-how that could be put into immediate action with positive results. A recipe, if you will, that can be followed with more or less the same results.

For example, "I enter into an agreement with company X that for every order of product Y I bring to them they pay me $5. I put an ad on this website (name) and my expenses are $1500 per month to do so. I sell about 100 units a day. The company ships direct to the customers and pays me within 30 days by wire transfer. The last year I made about $150,000 net profit."

You don't look up or gather info on your own. You wait for others to hand it out to you and build off their success patterns.

But you gonna give advice here and tell someone else to find something out on their own now by "going into the city ( paraphrase ) and find out if they have integrity"?

You guys are making this fvckin easy to prove my point right now. How selfish and self centered. lol

.

 

[GrandRub]

Sometimes I wish a foreign army invaded my country, so that I'd have something to really fight for.

interesting thougth ... would you realy defend your country? why? just because you were born there? i dont think i would do that ... depends on the attacker and why this would happen.

 

[Deleted78083]

interesting thougth ... would you realy defend your country? why? just because you were born there? i dont think i would do that ... depends on the attacker and why this would happen.

When I think of the things I would drop everything for, this comes to mind. Or helping my family comes to mind too. Or building a business. But that is it really.

 

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[Deleted78083]

The real issue to me is self-doubt, or a lack of belief in process. The poison of comparison starts to say "This other guy has better funding, or beat you to the market, so you've got no shot" when in reality it doesn't matter if he takes 95% of the market, because 5% could be 10 million dollars. I think millennials tend not to be logical thinkers, there is a preference for fear and/or excuses. I've had to have someone smack me into my senses more than once because of that bad habit.

For sure, same here

 

[sparechange]

Some of the happiest moments of my life involved being around good people, I do believe the majority on the planet are selfish & evil, but the good ones are out there.. As you progress through life you'll meet some interesting characters.

 

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[Guest-5ty5s4]

Sounds lewd.
Whilst fvuking friends may be ok in your book, I'd strongly advise against doing that to the dog.

I sense a fastlane opportunity somewhere here... What was the old one called? Youtube, but with zoo, maybe?

Yikes. The things kids joke about in middle school. South Park is too accurate, all my friends were horrible at those ages.

 

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[cryptocasper]

Everyone of us has such hard times or it happens sometimes you loose much time and effort in friends who are here just to stop you from reaching goals.

Some "friends" have negativity and talking more to them etc it makes you same some others are jealous in others etc but of course there are good friends also not all people are bad, so remember the quote "If you fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" every one of us will have such times as you now but you have to apply experience and specific filters and you will know them earlier before they have impact in your life/work balance.

Sometimes all of us need to analyze what we did in a recent period and maybe considering re-format of ours self like computer so you start to speak less and care less for people which don't deserve!

 

[Ing]

I have 2 friends Outside my family.
I can phone them any tome for anything.
The can phone my any time for anything.
I couldn’t make a business with them, but a bank robbery when necessary.
Thats a treasure!

Other friends you can make many things with and businesses and so on.
But most you only can ignore.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

I'm far from perfect. In fact I'm sure some friends have thought that way about me. It's just that I've been let down so many times as every human like they said is imperfect. Maybe I don't know how to form strong relationships. A business, your body, your life I can do and know how to create success. But relationships? I don't know how. What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes? Other people are too rand to put my happiness on them. At least with a dog you can always know it'll love you unconditionally

Read the book I mentioned. You’re describing a problem as old as humanity. You can fix your thinking

 

[loop101]

Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?

Ok, then get a dog.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZH8zcJUH1M&feature=youtu.be&t=52

 

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[ExaltedLife]

Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?

Its funny because I disagree with you; I think people are amazing. But then again I have very few friends, and about a billion acquaintences that I keep at arms length.

Think about this though - how many amazing things have been invented, built, created?

Lots right?

How many of those things were created by you?

Ohhh shit, looks like the whole "people are F*cked" paradigm is all in your head eh.

Focus on finding good things and maybe you'll see them.

 

[Roark666]

The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.

Yup. Learned the hard way only you can rely on yourself and the dreams you have. Most will doubt you or try to bring you down.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Yup. Learned the hard way only you can rely on yourself and the dreams you have. Most will doubt you or try to bring you down.

Yes and when you become successful they will be lining up to tell you “They know you can do it a long time ago...”.

 

[Deleted85763]

The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.

In my experience it's more complex then that. It depends on a lot of factors. However, I met a billionaire and other prominent people by simply being engaged in business on my own. They could see my strengths that I could not.

Here's where complexity comes in: One president of a company tried to "throw my under the bus". but did not succeed because he wasn't smart enough to carry it through successfully. One very smart top sales executive tried to cleverly bamboozle me but I while I was not "smarter" I was much more diligent than he obviously thought. One business owner didn't pay me on a transaction we had a contract on. I really needed that money. I knew who his customer was who was involved. I knew they also did very well on the transaction. I called the customer and when the owners heard my story of not getting paid they paid me! Honorable people do exist.

The moral of the stories is that you have to go forward, do your best, be very vigilant and you will find the right contacts - trustworthy, competent and make you feel good about yourself. The same works for finding true friends.

 

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[TonyStark]

You must be the life of the party

People with this kind of mindset are a self-fulfilling prophecy lol

 

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[samuraijack]

Furthermore, knowing what most people act like does not prohibit one from forgiving them for those acts.

To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good. And for the "minority", it's our responsibility to spread goodness, not hoard it in our little circles (this does not mean you should not have strong boundaries) and cast judgement down on others.

 

[eliquid]

You must be the life of the party

Could be, but then again I don't concern myself with what other people think of me.

Especially at parties full of people that would want to even "think of me" to begin with.

 

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[Bearcorp]

I've been in there - in a dark place where everyone lets you down. It is eye opening & not especially pleasant. But like many things in life, one's perspective is paramount.
Whilst I was having my "eyes opened" I made sure to take a look at myself too & learn the lessons I needed to learn out of it - where I'd also gone wrong.

Then I did something about it.

Do you believe that - in amongst all the many, many people that suck - there are gems? People that are fun & interesting in the good times, & there for you in the bad times? People that are like minded? People that actively avoid drama rather than stirring things up needlessly? People with integrity?

If you don't, well, you won't have to look far for proof that you're right, & you can just get on with whatever existence you have planned for yourself.

If however you believe they're out there somewhere, well then your job is to find them & nurture those relationships.

I knew the kind of people I was after were niche, & so I upped my odds by being in a big city. It's not just a numbers game either - I wanted ambitious people who were doing something with their lives, so I embraced London - the centre of almost all industries in this country (& for a country roughly the size of Louisiana (England) or Oregon (the UK) we're certainly punching above our weight internationally too). Depending on where you are, moving could be helpful. So could the internet.

I also checked my expectations. I don't rely on any single person for everything - even in a romantic relationship. I have different friends for different interests, different activities (partying? philosophising? hitting various activities? industry strategising? Sure there's some overlap, but I have different crowds for each). Plus, when you are down, realise you can be draining (we all can) & by cultivating a whole group of friends (who are there for you), you can allow each to support you in turn.

Yes it takes energy, & there's times in my life when I have more of that or less of that & I adjust my actions accordingly. I also expect my friends to do similar. This means there will be periods where I'm mainly the one reaching out. I've made my peace with that. Some eventually drift away with no drama. One of the hallmarks of a good friendship though is when you do reconnect with someone, it can be like you spoke only yesterday. For the most part though, my friends are now solid friends of many years. And I'm still making new ones.

There's nothing quite like connecting with a similar brain. I think it's one of the main joys in life.

Even if the kind of people you get on with are very, very niche, it is possible to fill your world with them. I have.
And I enjoy my little bubble.

Very well said

 

[WJK]

For every one person like that there are a millions who are unreliable. You should be that change for yourself not others. They'll congratulate you and admire you and maybe inspire them to make a change themselves but usually they'll revert back to their own ways coping with themselves. I know I sound negative but I'm not. I'm now hopeful for my future but much more pickier of. Who I surrounf myself with. Most people stagnate and gett worse over time. Don't believe me? Go to your hs reunion and guarantee almost all of them will behave the same. Sure there are outliers but most people never grow up.

You're right. When I go back to my high school reunions, it's shocking that people haven't changed that much! But, I have. I have gone further and done more in my life than I could have ever dreamed when I was going to school with them. And it's my secret. I don't share my success with my former classmates. It's none of their business and they wouldn't understand my choices and my life. I like to fly under the radar. When they ask what I'm doing, I simply tell them the broader truth -- I'm retired. I hear what is happening with people through the Facebook site, and nothing has changed with most of them -- and it never will.

 

[amp0193]

Look at tennis. Physically speaking, there isn't much difference between the top ranked player and the 100th ranked player. They all hit the ball really hard, they all have quick reflexes, etc. The mental game is the difference. (Malcolm Gladwell writes about this in I forget what book)

The Inner Game of Tennis is one of the most life-changing books I've ever read. Not sure if that's the one you were referring to.

Nice post by the way.

 

[eliquid]

You're right. When I go back to my high school reunions, it's shocking that people haven't changed that much! But, I have. I have gone further and done more in my life than I could have ever dreamed when I was going to school with them. And it's my secret. I don't share my success with my former classmates. It's none of their business and they wouldn't understand my choices and my life. I like to fly under the radar. When they ask what I'm doing, I simply tell them the broader truth -- I'm retired. I hear what is happening with people through the Facebook site, and nothing has changed with most of them -- and it never will.

There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?

Trying to impress others is SO silly. They will tell you how well you've done and then hate you for it. (It's like being too smart.) It usually starts with: you're a liar-- you can't really be telling the truth; you were just lucky; you won the lottery; you married into it; it's a passing moment and tomorrow you'll be broke again; you cheated -- because no one can gain success without cheating... ; and list goes on. I gave up long ago trying to tell people how to make it work... that I carefully planned my path, move by move. I made adjustment as necessary. And then I got up every morning and I cheerfully worked my plan. While they were partying, I was working and going to school. While they were on their expensive vacations I was doing charity work and taking care of the people that I love. Even today, I'm no good at being retired So I get up every morning and I go to work. I'm still in my office as this Saturday afternoon waning into evening, finishing up things for the day. How can ever explain that sense of drive and lifestyle to people who have never lived it????

Here's the bottom line -- who in the world do I need to impress at the point in my life? Frankly, in this moment I just don't give a damn.

You all are actually proving my points here LOL. You all see the same I do and admit it.

I say people are selfish and self centered. People dont change from this.

Then you say the exact same things in your ongoing posts. I posted them above so you can see.
We agree and are saying the same things.

However, you feel that for some reasons I ( or others that agree with me ) need to improve ourselves. Like something is wrong with us. When in my accounts and your own, the other people are the ones that are exactly as I said before.

The world is full of shitty in both of our stories. I used your own words above to prove so.

But, for some reason... you feel the issue is with "us" the people that agree with what you and I are saying.
I feel however, the issue with "them".

And because of this, you all go into how people like me need to uplift ourselves and make ourselves happy and be energetic and provide value.

Who says I am not already that. If I have a negative view of people outside my circle, why can't I be happy and provide value to others and be energetic?

Just like you @WJK , Im not telling people what I do ( its none of their business ) and none of those people from high school change. I fly under the radar, it's none of their business. Nothing changes with those people and never would.

^^ Me and you agree on this. You used those words yourself. And gee, I wonder why you feel like you can't talk to them about yourself, maybe it's because you think negative of them, because of what I said that affirms it?

You already said you can't believe you went to school with them. Its none of their business. They wouldnt understand. You are not sharing your success with them. They won't change.

I have drive and work passion and all the same stuff as you.

So we agree on all points, but no I don't have to change my view to be happy, successful, energetic, avoid toxic people, and live a good life.

What worked for you, isn't medicine for us all. Some of get by just as good as yourself, without that view.

Stop pushing that something "must be sad" with us or wrong and that we need to uplift ourselves.

I didn't share my thoughts because Im some sad cuck. I shared them because some people on this forum have an imaginary view that the world outside is like Disney Land.

You can know and live reality, as still be happy.

 

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[WJK]

I like how I talk about how people are mostly bad and that:

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

I mentioned there are gems out there, right. You might be one of them.

But then you went on to affirm what I said with

Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women

and that the people you take in are mean to you.

You argue back that we need to find good in others, and then dive into a story about yourself. Proving my about about selfishness and self interest. You didn't even make a valid argument back... just a story about you and you helping people, which doesn't change the "bad people" around you out in the world.

All you did was go in a nonsense circle about you.

Just because you did a nice thing and have a nice outlook... nothing happened to the other people I am talking about. They wouldn't even help kids before you stepped in. What does that tell you about our default nature?

.

I'm not sure it's our "default nature". Yes, we each have a shadow, but I try to bring out the best in people. That better side of them brings happiness and peace to that person and their space here on earth. It's not about me and making me feel good. It's about creating a sense of peace and well being around me. I try to pay forward. Most of the stuff I do is done quietly and privately. I believe that the way to change the world is for each of us to clean up our own little corner. It's like throwing a stone into a still pond. The ripples from throwing that one stone can go from shore to shore. What's scary about that concept is -- what if I had created a bad cause rather than doing something kind? The bad results can be just a far-reaching. Sometimes there is no right answer -- only a choice. I try to choose wisely with the people around me in mind.

Yes, sometimes people that I have helped kick me in the shins. So, I walk away. I have a guy right now that I gave a 10-day notice to yesterday. He either straightens out his living habits or I will file an eviction against him. This guy was homeless and he just moved in. He's had both of his feet amputated due to sugar diabetes. He's sitting in his wheelchair being willfully defiant. It took me and 4 agencies to get him housing, and he's still misbehaving. OK. He wasn't ready to be helped. We gambled and we may lose this bet. And that's OK with me. It's his choice, not mine. He either follows the rules or he doesn't. (And yes, they're my rules.) I talked to the 4 agencies involved yesterday and they will back me 100%. I must watch out for the other 150 people who live here and make sure that they are safe -- I'm looking out for the "Greater Good". I'm their line in the sand. So the neighbors, my tenants, are helping me to watch the guy in the wheelchair. No, his doper friends with their long rap sheets are not welcome here. It's a group effort to keep us all safe -- I'm the leader of the pack.

 

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[ShepardHumphries]

Yes, most people suck.

I enjoy finding the 1% or 2% who are worthy of friendship or even acquaintanceship, and I love helping the other 98% become worthy. It is a fun pastime while living in this anthill.

 

[WJK]

Yes, most people suck.

I enjoy finding the 1% or 2% who are worthy of friendship or even acquaintanceship, and I love helping the other 98% become worthy. It is a fun pastime while living in this anthill.

Yes, there's your inner circle and then the people that you know out there...

 

[WabiSabi]

"He is not (your) enemy, since he cannot injure (you); rather he inflicts on himself the most terrible punishment of all, namely ignorance of one who is nobler than himself; and so he is deserted and bereft of the other's protection" - Emperor Julian

 

[Roark666]

I'm just gonna add that every time you do something for someone else, do it without expecting anything in return. Always.
Every time you start feeling resentful, you did it wrong.
Instead, when you have the urge, do something for yourself and fill the "be nice to myself" tank instead. The energy you spend doing stuff for others and waiting for it to be reciprocated, use it on yourself. The power shifts and the people that are worth keeping will start showing up on their own.

Also I feel the same, and I only found like minded people in here. A lot of us did. Don't even waste time discussing with square heads or trying to change them.

I have way more satisfying, less often interactions over WhatsApp with people from this forum than anyone at work or "acquaintances", excluding my BF and two BFFs, which is the reason they are what they are.

Mind inviting me to the what's app group? Been looking for something like that

 

[Roark666]

Be honest, you only care about yourself.
It's clear from your forum content.
You've only commented on threads you started & even then you hardly reply.
You've not interacted on any other thread, not even liked any posts on gold threads.
What have you been doing on this forum?
Other than trying to "cherry pick members," which got your thread locked by MJ himself.

Lmao dude what's your deal? You seem very negative. Why are you coming on me like this? Something wrong?

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

I don’t think the replies are helping; they are probably just alienating you more.
The truth is, people are imperfect. You should read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius... people will let you down - that’s life. But without people, life is meaningless. So you have to learn to value imperfect people!
And eventually, you’ll realize you’re one of them.

 

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[Roark666]

I don’t think the replies are helping; they are probably just alienating you more.
The truth is, people are imperfect. You should read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius... people will let you down - that’s life. But without people, life is meaningless. So you have to learn to value imperfect people!
And eventually, you’ll realize you’re one of them.

I'm far from perfect. In fact I'm sure some friends have thought that way about me. It's just that I've been let down so many times as every human like they said is imperfect. Maybe I don't know how to form strong relationships. A business, your body, your life I can do and know how to create success. But relationships? I don't know how. What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes? Other people are too rand to put my happiness on them. At least with a dog you can always know it'll love you unconditionally

 

[Tuvo Apps]

There's awesome people who will support you and think you're the shit. They'll make life awesome

There's terrible people who will backstab you, make you feel like crap, and tell you that you suck. They'll make life a little worse.

What makes you think that you deserve to have the awesome people in your life?

Please correnct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that merely ignoring the problem? If some people tell you that you suck, you can cut them off and find the ones that support you. But what if the "evil" person is right? They must have a reason to tell you that you suck, after all. What if you actually suck? I think it's better to try and solve that problem, rather than avoiding it.

Most people I met troughout my life thought I suck, even the ones that were friends with other people (so they weren't necessarily evil). What's more, I tend to think that the people who don't like you have more value than those who like you (because if they don't like you, they must be better than you, and thus would make good friends - bring more value to your life).

Maybe my approach is flawed, but I decided to work on myself, until I get to the point where I'm able to make friends with those high-value people.