Fvck relationships and friendships

[Deleted85763]

You're right. When I go back to my high school reunions, it's shocking that people haven't changed that much! But, I have. I have gone further and done more in my life than I could have ever dreamed when I was going to school with them. And it's my secret. I don't share my success with my former classmates. It's none of their business and they wouldn't understand my choices and my life. I like to fly under the radar. When they ask what I'm doing, I simply tell them the broader truth -- I'm retired. I hear what is happening with people through the Facebook site, and nothing has changed with most of them -- and it never will.

There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?

 

[Roark666]

There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?

It's not real self worth. One of the reasons I despise humanity. These are the same people that will cut you down if it has a chance of making them feel better. My thoughts are concluded. I know there are good people. But they are heavily out majoritied by bad people or at least unconscious people as eckhart tolle says. They aren't aware of the things they are doing are bad. And to those that deny this think of how polluted the earth is. Really? People don't give a sh1t. They are selfish little fvckers fvcking anyone over without realizing it. Not everyone. But most.

 

[Kasimir]

I have 2 friends Outside my family.
I can phone them any tome for anything.
The can phone my any time for anything.
I couldn’t make a business with them, but a bank robbery when necessary.
Thats a treasure!

These friends are important, especially if your business has some liquidity problems.

I have different friends for different activities.
Fitness/Gym friends.
Party/drinking friends.
Business friends.
I don't put them into categories, but I just know that with some I can't have a drink and with some, I can't talk about business. And I need all of them. But it's important that I don't spend too much time with one group. Happened a little in lockdown, first I focused a little too much on business and disregarded fitness and business. And then I focused too much on party and drinking. It's important that the balance is kept.
And if you don't receive the same energy you give or you see that they aren't good for you. Let them go, even if it hurts.

 

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[eliquid]

How sad for you to have such a low opinion of other people and the larger world. Yes, everyone is self interested on some level. Yes, everyone can be jerks. And we are both included in those failings. But, our challenge is to find the good part in ourselves and in others. Then we can chose to bring out that good.

You talk about being homeless. I helped start the first shelter in the Greater Los Angeles area for homeless women and their children. Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women. I was chairman of the board for 5 years. During my participation, we helped about 5,000 women and 8,000 kids.

Today I deal with homeless issues on a regular basis through my residential units. Last month, it was disabled, senior couple who were just about to become homeless. The husband has had multiple strokes and the wife has emotional problems. They are moving into a bigger unit this week. This month we just moved in a guy who was homeless veteran. He's had to have both of his feet amputated. It took the cooperation of the State housing agency, his VA case worker, his State case worker, a local charity and me. We're not sure that he can live on his own, but we all worked together to let him try. Over half of my tenants are either disabled or seniors -- or both. And other tenants have kids -- lots of kids.

It's true. Sometimes people (some that I have helped) are mean to me. At those moments, I just hang on to the good times. I make the choice to not let them get me down -- and yes, it is my choice. Getting me upset doesn't hurt them at all. It only hurts me.

Start by loving yourself. Then help someone around you. Your view of other and the greater world is primarily a reflection of yourself.

I like how I talk about how people are mostly bad and that:

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

I mentioned there are gems out there, right. You might be one of them.

But then you went on to affirm what I said with

Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women

and that the people you take in are mean to you.

You argue back that we need to find good in others, and then dive into a story about yourself. Proving my about about selfishness and self interest. You didn't even make a valid argument back... just a story about you and you helping people, which doesn't change the "bad people" around you out in the world.

All you did was go in a nonsense circle about you.

Just because you did a nice thing and have a nice outlook... nothing happened to the other people I am talking about. They wouldn't even help kids before you stepped in. What does that tell you about our default nature?

.

 

[Kevin88660]

Yes and no. Let's be real here. Most people are idiots and are sheep that will follow the crowd. Case in point. If a sports team loses a lot most fans will either stop following them or be depressed. If a business is ablut to fail watch all the employees quit and get a better job. People aren't as loyal as we want them to be. They go with the winner. Same with women. If you lose your job or become a general loser they will not stick around and go for something better. It's human nature and no ideological view will change that. I've tried to be mr positive but it's a fairy tale. People are mean and selfish and will kick you if your down if they have the power to (not everyone but most will)

The word “selfish” in my dictionary is a neutral word, a simple state of fact of human nature.

Come on. Isn’t our entire civilization, laws, regulation and economic incentive built upon that assumption?

The attitude that turns people off is being self-centered or entitlement, expecting others to serve their own agenda without offering anything in return.

If a boss is expecting his staffs to stay while he cannot afford to maintain the paycheck, and if a boyfriend became a loser and expecting his gf to stay with him despite her having better option, probably it is the boss and the bf feeling entitled...such an irony.

Well maybe the staffs will stay, and the girl does not leave, most likely the boss and bf in the hypothetical examples have done many things right before and have treated others well. I just think there is no free lunch...

 

[WJK]

You all are actually proving my points here LOL. You all see the same I do and admit it.

I say people are selfish and self centered. People dont change from this.

Then you say the exact same things in your ongoing posts. I posted them above so you can see.
We agree and are saying the same things.

However, you feel that for some reasons I ( or others that agree with me ) need to improve ourselves. Like something is wrong with us. When in my accounts and your own, the other people are the ones that are exactly as I said before.

The world is full of shitty in both of our stories. I used your own words above to prove so.

But, for some reason... you feel the issue is with "us" the people that agree with what you and I are saying.
I feel however, the issue with "them".

And because of this, you all go into how people like me need to uplift ourselves and make ourselves happy and be energetic and provide value.

Who says I am not already that. If I have a negative view of people outside my circle, why can't I be happy and provide value to others and be energetic?

Just like you @WJK , Im not telling people what I do ( its none of their business ) and none of those people from high school change. I fly under the radar, it's none of their business. Nothing changes with those people and never would.

^^ Me and you agree on this. You used those words yourself. And gee, I wonder why you feel like you can't talk to them about yourself, maybe it's because you think negative of them, because of what I said that affirms it?

You already said you can't believe you went to school with them. Its none of their business. They wouldnt understand. You are not sharing your success with them. They won't change.

I have drive and work passion and all the same stuff as you.

So we agree on all points, but no I don't have to change my view to be happy, successful, energetic, avoid toxic people, and live a good life.

What worked for you, isn't medicine for us all. Some of get by just as good as yourself, without that view.

Stop pushing that something "must be sad" with us or wrong and that we need to uplift ourselves.

I didn't share my thoughts because Im some sad cuck. I shared them because some people on this forum have an imaginary view that the world outside is like Disney Land.

You can know and live reality, as still be happy.

If you're happy with your attitude, then carry on. Sorry to have bothered you...