Fvck relationships and friendships

[Roark666]

The issue is right there. You are looking for happiness in people. You are not really looking to build relationships, you are looking for approval.

"What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes?". You take pleasure in giving. And you move on.

Question @Roark666, what's wrong with just giving? The theme in your posts on this thread is: "if I give, I should get something in return. If I don't, I should not give".

And actually, aren't you "taking" from the forum now without "giving" in return for the answers here?

relationships should be a two way street. I get the joy of giving and whenever i do give i dont expect anything in return. But whats the point of just giving when the other person just takes without reciprocating. It is like putting water in a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

 

[SteveO]

Can you fill me in on the meaning of your forum name?

 

[DiamondDog]

You seem to have an immature view of the world.

Most people are good. You're probably self conscious and get butthurt over nothing and everything.

 

[Roark666]

You seem to have an immature view of the world.

Most people are good. You're probably self conscious and get butthurt over nothing and everything.

Probably

 

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[Phil Yu]

Wow, Your post hit the nail on the head for me. This is why i spend time on here as well. After looking through several communities i hang out with, I too find more like minded people on here.


Adding to everyone else who has gave good responses, I have 3 things to share.
1 practice positivity and empathy
2. Being selective with who and where you spent your time.
3. Keep on exploring different community to gain more life reference and experience.

 

[Roark666]

I agree with Tom H, and surrounding yourself with a different caliber of people can be beneficial in all aspects of life. It took a paradigm shift for me to realize this.

I know but honestly I prefer to be alone now. Not from a place of bitterness but ultimately from a place of self fufillment and improvement. I have been around so many people who are very short sighted and blinded by the false gods that life so abundantly provides and it has effected my mind and soul at times which i regret.

 

[Cyberthal]

Wall Street Playboy had good points about this, and agreed with the general sentiment, but also had ways to mitigate it. Read his book "Efficiency".

He doesn't address family. Charles Darwin does. If you neglect it, your naturally evolved emotions will punish you later in life. I recommend reading the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Bible, in that order, to understand why family is important. That said, marriage 2.0 under Western divorce laws is not traditional marriage, but a sucker's slavery.

 

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[Roark666]

Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.

Translation: if you feel your friends don't care about you, that probably means you don't really care about them.
I suggest you reading two books:
- The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
- How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

No. If I add into a relationship and the person isnt reciprocating back F*ck em. To be honest the reason i dont like relationships is because one part of it is totally out of my control. I can succeed completely on my end but if the other person is too caught up in their personal bs or rationalizations and failure the relationship is a failure.

 

[BarKogan$]

Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?

I can really relate with you with those thoughts.. let me know if you figure out a way to get out of this loop please..

 

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[Tuvo Apps]

Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.

Amazing post!! Your advice is spot on.

I have one question, what exactly do you mean by "offering value to people"? I know it has something to do with how you make the other person feel when they're around you. But I never really understood this whole idea of "having value in your life". Do you have some examples of this? How does having value show in real life interactions? Thank you!

 

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[PapaGang]

I suggest you reading two books:
- The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
- How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.

Changed my life.

 

[PapaGang]

I don't worry if individual humans respond, recognize or engage in my friendliness. Because I know that there are always some who will and others who won't. I do NOT let the SCRIPT decide who I will be friends with.

Kill them with kindness dog...

 

[Roark666]

Its funny because I disagree with you; I think people are amazing. But then again I have very few friends, and about a billion acquaintences that I keep at arms length.

Think about this though - how many amazing things have been invented, built, created?

Lots right?

How many of those things were created by you?

Ohhh shit, looks like the whole "people are f*cked" paradigm is all in your head eh.

Focus on finding good things and maybe you'll see them.

The majority of people suck

Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.

Id

Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.

dont remember how long ago that post was but im doing fine right now. Even though i was in a rough spot i never complained or bitched. And the idea that people want to e around successful people brings me even more pessimsism towards humanity. Im not saying you shouldnt cut ties with someone thats toxic or bringing you down but i have seen cases where i have been in a downturn in my life and everyone in my life vanished but if im doing well everyone comes along. Its called fair weather friends and I dont want any of that. Case in point. My good friend is addicted to drugs right now and is going mentally bonkers. Our used to e social circle in hs are all making fun of him laughing at his demise. I reached out to him to make sure he's okay everyday. These are the same friends that are "with you bro" when your up and will laugh at you with your down. thats not a real friend what you describe. Dont want people with me only when im "successful" i want people to be with me for me as a person materalistic or not. By your argument you should be friends with anyone in a third world country who has no money but who has family values and doing his best to do with the best he can. Now if the person is emotionally draining or taxing or generally toxic thats a different story. sorry but its people like you who see the surface i cant really stand and further proves my point.

 

[Quart-Jar]

Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.

Excellent journalism!

You hit a nerve with me. I've felt the way OP describes every time I'm at my lowest in life. Whenever I was, as mentioned, unemployed and nearly homeless I spent a substantial amount of time being upset with my "terrible friends" when it was me that I hated.

 

[Roark666]

Part of growing up is realizing that "people should like me for just being me" is a bunch of Disney BS. Sure people who laugh at you while you are down are shitty, but the notion of "people should like me just because I'm me" is going to get you nowhere in life, and if you pursue entrepreneurship seriously, you will fail miserably with that attitude.

"Why doesn't anyone want to buy my product? I made it myself and i think it's great!" "Why doesn't that girl like me, Who cares if I work a job for $18/hour and have no real career path, She should like me because i exist!"



I think you want the world to be how YOU want it to be, and you aren't looking at the world for what it ACTUALLY is. Nobody owes you anything for just existing, and no one will "just be there for you." Enough of the Hollywood idealistic bs dude. Build an awesome life for your self so that you don't have to complain on a forum that you can't keep people in your life.

Relationships and entrpreneship are two completely different things. To be honest your last two posts do seem like a dig st me but I'll let it slide. That's NOT a real friend man. I don't care what you say but sorry maybe your part of the problem. If your product sucks and the market says it sucks adjust it but who you are as a person if you aren't emotionally draining but there as someone with values above materialism will cut it to be a friend. How you treat me will determine if your my friend. If you respect my boundaries and we vibe well you're considered a friend. I'm sorry but if you leave because someone is getting paid minimum wage your not a true friend. Now Im not saying you have to hang out with them because you may be too busy but if you dgaf about them anymore your a piece of shit

 

[Deleted85763]

Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Deleted85763]

Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?

I can relate. However, what I have found is that if you want friend(s) you need to "get out there" in the right places and you will find a like minded person(s). By right places I mean places where you like to be; things you like to do. Even then everyone has their own personalities and nothing is perfect. By "out there" I also mean online, although personally I don't find that the best way. This pandemic has made it very difficult to meet people physically.

I know someone who behaves in ways that are just unbelievable to me but they are very sociable. At any time they often have a friend or friends and these people are very much all alike. I would never hang out with these people.

Just "be around" and you'll connect with the right people if you want. I like being alone way more then being with others but when I am with people who I get along with, share similar values, etc.. then I really like it.

 

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[Xeon]

I only associated with people who were going to be absolutely on my side. It was that way with friends, girls, customers and employees.

Get used to the word "next". I say it internally every time I see too much negative behavior from someone.
.......
I've replaced countless friends, girls, customers and employees because I KNOW that there's awesome ones out there just waiting to meet me, and I'm going to find them.

When you keep nexting people, doesn't that end up with very few people in your life, and you constantly need to expend lots of energy and time to look for new ones?

 

[Deleted85763]

The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.

 

[eliquid]

To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good. And for the "minority", it's our responsibility to spread goodness, not hoard it in our little circles (this does not mean you should not have strong boundaries) and cast judgement down on others.

Who said it was the minorities responsibility?

Who said it was judgment being passed?

Sounds like scripted talk.

 

[Primeperiwinkle]

To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good. And for the "minority", it's our responsibility to spread goodness, not hoard it in our little circles (this does not mean you should not have strong boundaries) and cast judgement down on others.

The majority of ppl enjoy thinking of themselves as good but do not go to the trouble of questioning their understanding of the term.

As for hoarding.. lol. Real goodness multiplies. It spreads exponentially. But, at the end of the day, it is the minority in different places pushing and working and bubbling over in passion which then gets caught by new people and carried to other places - to create another strong, solid core of productivity. Family.

 

[Roark666]

I figured out, slightly later than I should have, that a good way to see a persons character is to look at their friends.

Yeah im feeling even more cynical now. Again I'm not a "negative" person. I don't walk into a room and bring people down. If I think something negative about someone I shut my mouth unless that person annoys the crap out of me.

Ill tell how I came to these conclusions. When life was good and I was on top of the world I had a lot of so called "friends" always asking for stuff and favors, wanting to hang out, and being very nice. However through the fake smile my closest friend secretly backstabbed me by spreading rumors to bring me down but when I confronted him about it he met me with a smile saying he loves me and he would never do such a thing. Now I naievly believed him because j was young and didn't know better but the evidence kept popping through.

Watch as your "friends' (If your arlund a bunch of losers) or peers will be mad at you If you start getting money or get an amazing girlfriend or boyfriend. Yes some will love you but the majority will hate you. When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck. My backstabbing friend now showed his true disgusting colors and kicked me when I was down openly (not physically but emotionally) along with others. Yeah you may think they are your friends now that things are good but that's because they have an incentive to be on their best behavior because you have success so to speak.

Yes I'm cynical. But I'm wiser now. I let myself be hurt because I was naieve to how the world works.

 

[samuraijack]

We're all bad.

It's been proven with game theory.

In every single instance the player will choose to steal his neighbour's goods instead of working for them if there's no reprisals.

We just like to think we're good.

never looked into it, but assuming you are right, how does that affect the world we live in?

Are we not continually striving to do better than our "nature"? We have a natural desire to violently hurt someone, do we have to act on it because in a world with no rules we'd do so?

Humans have eaten meat forever, but now people want to stop and be vegan (i'm not vegan btw). That's a conscious choice that goes against our nature isn't it?

I don't think we're good by default, I think we can be good if we choose to. btw good and bad mean so many different things to different people, when I say good, i mean actions and beliefs that help other people.

 

[Deleted85763]

Yeah im feeling even more cynical now. Again I'm not a "negative" person. I don't walk into a room and bring people down. If I think something negative about someone I shut my mouth unless that person annoys the crap out of me.

Ill tell how I came to these conclusions. When life was good and I was on top of the world I had a lot of so called "friends" always asking for stuff and favors, wanting to hang out, and being very nice. However through the fake smile my closest friend secretly backstabbed me by spreading rumors to bring me down but when I confronted him about it he met me with a smile saying he loves me and he would never do such a thing. Now I naievly believed him because j was young and didn't know better but the evidence kept popping through.

Watch as your "friends' (If your arlund a bunch of losers) or peers will be mad at you If you start getting money or get an amazing girlfriend or boyfriend. Yes some will love you but the majority will hate you. When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck. My backstabbing friend now showed his true disgusting colors and kicked me when I was down openly (not physically but emotionally) along with others. Yeah you may think they are your friends now that things are good but that's because they have an incentive to be on their best behavior because you have success so to speak.

Yes I'm cynical. But I'm wiser now. I let myself be hurt because I was naieve to how the world works.

"When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck."

I have not found that at all. In fact being down is just part of life and people I have known just carried on as usual with me and were supportive and even inspiring. When I was up the only people who treated my nice that were also fake were strangers who saw my car and assumed I was rich (I was not, Haha) . Maybe it's the culture you live in where people act that way?

 

[Roark666]

never looked into it, but assuming you are right, how does that affect the world we live in?

Are we not continually striving to do better than our "nature"? We have a natural desire to violently hurt someone, do we have to act on it because in a world with no rules we'd do so?

Humans have eaten meat forever, but now people want to stop and be vegan (i'm not vegan btw). That's a conscious choice that goes against our nature isn't it?

I don't think we're good by default, I think we can be good if we choose to. btw good and bad mean so many different things to different people, when I say good, i mean actions and beliefs that help other people.

We are getting pg

"When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck."

I have not found that at all. In fact being down is just part of life and people I have known just carried on as usual with me and were supportive and even inspiring. When I was up the only people who treated my nice that were also fake were strangers who saw my car and assumed I was rich (I was not, Haha) . Maybe it's the culture you live in where people act that way?

i lived in new york. I live in cali now but i believe most people are like this.
If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks. This is what happened to me when I started getting good with girls at 18 and watching all my friends who cant get laid putting me down or subtly backstabbing me in passive aggressive ways.

Im not rich but I assume people will do the same when you are at the top of the mountain from stories ive heard from wealthy people. They even said there own family members hated them when they became wealthy

 

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[Deleted85763]

We are getting pg

i lived in new york. I live in cali now but i believe most people are like this.
If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks. This is what happened to me when I started getting good with girls at 18 and watching all my friends who cant get laid putting me down or subtly backstabbing me in passive aggressive ways.

Im not rich but I assume people will do the same when you are at the top of the mountain from stories ive heard from wealthy people. They even said there own family members hated them when they became wealthy

"If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks."

I never experienced that with any guys I have known from junior high into adulthood. In fact an old friend called my recently and said he met a woman and he traveled to her place across the country and they spent weeks together. Both have no work responsibilities during the pandemic and he told me they had a non-stop wonderful time together. The fact the woman is a great cook was a definite plus. I was legitimately very happy for him.

I know it's not always easy to meet the right people but I also know for a fact that there are lots of mature, responsible people "out there" that would never backstab or desert or do anything crummy to a friend or acquaintance. I heard that many people in Cali are fake so again maybe it's just where you are currently located.

 

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[Roark666]

"If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks."

I never experienced that with any guys I have known from junior high into adulthood. In fact an old friend called my recently and said he met a woman and he traveled to her place across the country and they spent weeks together. Both have no work responsibilities during the pandemic and he told me they had a non-stop wonderful time together. The fact the woman is a great cook was a definite plus. I was legitimately very happy for him.

I know it's not always easy to meet the right people but I also know for a fact that there are lots of mature, responsible people "out there" that would never backstab or desert or do anything crummy to a friend or acquaintance. I heard that many people in Cali are fake so again maybe it's just where you are currently located.

I came from ny I know no one here yet. But yeah my view on people is pretty set. The majority suck absolute a$$ with no integrity and will be a net negative for this world

 

[Roark666]

How sad for you to have such a low opinion of other people and the larger world. Yes, everyone is self interested on some level. Yes, everyone can be jerks. And we are both included in those failings. But, our challenge is to find the good part in ourselves and in others. Then we can chose to bring out that good.

You talk about being homeless. I helped start the first shelter in the Greater Los Angeles area for homeless women and their children. Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women. I was chairman of the board for 5 years. During my participation, we helped about 5,000 women and 8,000 kids.

Today I deal with homeless issues on a regular basis through my residential units. Last month, it was disabled, senior couple who were just about to become homeless. The husband has had multiple strokes and the wife has emotional problems. They are moving into a bigger unit this week. This month we just moved in a guy who was homeless veteran. He's had to have both of his feet amputated. It took the cooperation of the State housing agency, his VA case worker, his State case worker, a local charity and me. We're not sure that he can live on his own, but we all worked together to let him try. Over half of my tenants are either disabled or seniors -- or both. And other tenants have kids -- lots of kids.

It's true. Sometimes people (some that I have helped) are mean to me. At those moments, I just hang on to the good times. I make the choice to not let them get me down -- and yes, it is my choice. Getting me upset doesn't hurt them at all. It only hurts me.

Start by loving yourself. Then help someone around you. Your view of other and the greater world is primarily a reflection of yourself.

Yes and no. Let's be real here. Most people are idiots and are sheep that will follow the crowd. Case in point. If a sports team loses a lot most fans will either stop following them or be depressed. If a business is ablut to fail watch all the employees quit and get a better job. People aren't as loyal as we want them to be. They go with the winner. Same with women. If you lose your job or become a general loser they will not stick around and go for something better. It's human nature and no ideological view will change that. I've tried to be mr positive but it's a fairy tale. People are mean and selfish and will kick you if your down if they have the power to (not everyone but most will)

 

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[Roark666]

@WJK is right.

it’s cheesy but “be the change you want to see in the world.”

I struggle with cynicism and negativity as much as the next person, but I know and I desire to be an optimist!

Optimism is a winning outlook for life. Yes you need to verify, no you should not blindly trust people, but you shouldn’t walk around grumbling and expecting everything to suck either. I’m as guilty as the next person of this!

Remember how MJ talked about attracting money by providing value? Same thing here.

Attract relationship value by first providing it!

Do you want people in your life who are positive, uplifting, ambitious and energetic?

Then be those things!!

Do you want someone you can count on?

Then first be a person that others can count on!

That’s how life works!

For every one person like that there are a millions who are unreliable. You should be that change for yourself not others. They'll congratulate you and admire you and maybe inspire them to make a change themselves but usually they'll revert back to their own ways coping with themselves. I know I sound negative but I'm not. I'm now hopeful for my future but much more pickier of. Who I surrounf myself with. Most people stagnate and gett worse over time. Don't believe me? Go to your hs reunion and guarantee almost all of them will behave the same. Sure there are outliers but most people never grow up.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

For every one person like that there are a millions who are unreliable. You should be that change for yourself not others. They'll congratulate you and admire you and maybe inspire them to make a change themselves but usually they'll revert back to their own ways coping with themselves. I know I sound negative but I'm not. I'm now hopeful for my future but much more pickier of. Who I surrounf myself with. Most people stagnate and gett worse over time. Don't believe me? Go to your hs reunion and guarantee almost all of them will behave the same. Sure there are outliers but most people never grow up.

You are too focused on other people. Focus on making yourself better.

 

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