The Entrepreneur Forum | Financial Freedom | Starting a Business | Motivation | Money | Success

Welcome to the only entrepreneur forum dedicated to building life-changing wealth.

Build a Fastlane business. Earn real financial freedom. Join free.

Join over 80,000 entrepreneurs who have rejected the paradigm of mediocrity and said "NO!" to underpaid jobs, ascetic frugality, and suffocating savings rituals— learn how to build a Fastlane business that pays both freedom and lifestyle affluence.

Free registration at the forum removes this block.

Freedom vs. Children

jazb

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
232%
Nov 24, 2013
361
839
The U.K
Just depends how good you are.

you can have both if you automate/eliminate/outsource/delegate
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

jon.a

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
329%
Sep 29, 2012
4,306
14,175
Near San Diego
The best thing about children is when they make grandchildren :)
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

IGP

Gold Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
276%
Aug 24, 2015
504
1,390
51
The best thing about children is when they make grandchildren :)

That's because you can give them back when they start crying, whining, have a dirty diaper or start becoming a pain in the a$$! Haha!
 

jon.a

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
329%
Sep 29, 2012
4,306
14,175
Near San Diego
That's because you can give them back when they start crying, whining, have a dirty diaper or start becoming a pain in the a$$! Haha!
And, I give them presents that I want to play with too.

(Thanks vig.)
 
Last edited:

eekern

BOBA
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
220%
Jul 21, 2015
263
578
34
Norway
6W36154.jpg


I am very exited to get a child:

1) I work to have more stable economy first..
2) I have found a girl I want to commit to
3) I accept that I will loose all my sleep / social circle for the next years

But really, the only once who knows the real answer is the people with children, since they are the only once who knows both sides of the story...
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

UpEvil

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
160%
Jan 5, 2016
5
8
45
First time post. I am a parent of two kids both under the age of 7. They are big part of my motivation for joining the fastlane. I am more motivated now than before kids. But I am also a lot more time constrained.
 

Red

Nigerian Lottery Prince
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Fastlane!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
353%
Feb 23, 2010
1,135
4,007
Phoenix
But really, the only once who knows the real answer is the people with children, since they are the only once who knows both sides of the story...

This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don't have to get herpes to know I don't want it. Same with a concussion.

Now before you all go nuts thinking I'm comparing children to herpes, I'm not. I'm just trying to show that you don't have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don't want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.

This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she "just hasn't found the right man yet" -invalid argument there as well, folks.

It's very simple: some people want different things than you do. That's okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals & who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It's just that simple.
 

eekern

BOBA
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
220%
Jul 21, 2015
263
578
34
Norway
This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don't have to get herpes to know I don't want it. Same with a concussion.

Now before you all go nuts thinking I'm comparing children to herpes, I'm not. I'm just trying to show that you don't have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don't want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.

This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she "just hasn't found the right man yet" -invalid argument there as well, folks.

It's very simple: some people want different things than you do. That's okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals & who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It's just that simple.

You misunderstood me completely

If I knew how much struggle it would be to start my business I would never do it, but now when I start to see the benefits its all worth it.

I just assume it is the same with having a child, 99% struggle but the 1% makes it all worth it.

If you don`t want children, fine. I am not saying I am more right than you in any way, and I am far from threatened, I have currently the same questions as the OP.

My point is that you don`t know about the feelings a child can give you, and that is not the same as knowing that herpes is a bad time..
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
Last edited:

IGP

Gold Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
276%
Aug 24, 2015
504
1,390
51
This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don't have to get herpes to know I don't want it. Same with a concussion.

Now before you all go nuts thinking I'm comparing children to herpes, I'm not. I'm just trying to show that you don't have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don't want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.

This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she "just hasn't found the right man yet" -invalid argument there as well, folks.

It's very simple: some people want different things than you do. That's okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals & who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It's just that simple.

Totally agree on the some people want different things than others portion. However, your analogies are pretty far off.

Herpes = bad
Concussion = bad
Sky diving = fear

I don't think you can say that children are "bad" per se, but they can certainly be scary.

Here is a better analogy and a true story.

I am the youngest of 4 boys, we always had dogs, but never cats when I was a kid. When I graduated college and left home for good my parents were now empty-nesters. No kids, no animals just an empty house. My dad was retired at the time and we asked him:

"Why don't you get a dog? It will keep you company etc.etc."

"WTF am I gonna do with a dog? They are too much trouble, etc.etc.", he said.

"Ok, how about getting a cat." We asked.

"Cats! I F*cking hates cats. They're dirty, not social. I've never liked cats." he said.

"Fine, to each their own". We said.

Then one day a stray cat wandered up to the house. As these things go, he fed it once and it came back, before long they were fast friends. Pretty soon they were inseparable and that cat gave my father a lot of joy until one day it wandered off and never came back. My father was heartbroken.

I think this is the point eekern was trying to make.

My father never wanted a cat his entire life (he despised them) until one came into his life and it turned out that cat actually was a gift and it brought him a lot of joy.
 
Last edited:

DayIFly

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
178%
Jul 16, 2012
135
240
This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don't have to get herpes to know I don't want it. Same with a concussion.

Now before you all go nuts thinking I'm comparing children to herpes, I'm not. I'm just trying to show that you don't have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don't want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.

This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she "just hasn't found the right man yet" -invalid argument there as well, folks.

It's very simple: some people want different things than you do. That's okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals & who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It's just that simple.

Chill out, nobody is attacking you. Everybody in this thread agrees that you can do the F*ck you wanna do.

His argument is indeed rooted in logic. You are comparing experiences that last decades (with all the pros/cons and ups and downs) with temporary events that you have a disdain for.

What about a lesbian woman that doesn't know she's a lesbian. Nah, don't try it, you simply haven't found the right man.

How is your logic superior in this case? Sorry, I don't see it.

He simply pointed out that there is a possibility that things are not as they seem, especially for people who didn't experience it.

It's like arguing with Slowlaners. It's perfectly fine to work a 9-5 and for most it's the better choice. But some people read MJ's book in their 40s/50s (and later) and ask themselves "What would I give if I only had access to it in my 20s".
 

LEF

Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
173%
Jan 6, 2016
22
38
I am a parent twice, and from personal experience it's in line with what everyone else said:

- Kids are a lot of work
- You need to be financially ready to have a kid, it's easily $600-$1000 per kid a month for at least 18 years (averaged out)
- You need to be emotionally ready, if you asking yourself is having kids a good idea? You are not ready, keep doing what you doing, and comeback to this question in few years. Essentially if you ready you will just know.
- If your woman is about to expire and wants to have kids, and you feel bad about it, and thinking about having a kids because of that, don't, talk to your woman, tell her you not ready, and see where that goes.
- You will have less personal fun time, but you will have a lot of kid fun time.
- Choose wisely who you are having kids with, wait until at least you've been with the person for few years. Your woman's career, education, personality and support network will matter once you have a kid.
- Try to hold off on having kids after you are 30, you are completely different person then when compared to 20s.
- And last, kids are super awesome, however not everyone can spend 7 days a week with their kid, don't feel bad, it doesn't mean you are a bad parent.

LEF
 

SteveO

Legendary Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
456%
Jul 24, 2007
4,228
19,294
Chill out, nobody is attacking you. Everybody in this thread agrees that you can do the F*ck you wanna do.
Red has defended her decision to not have children as a choice. She has been told that she does not know because she does not have kids so she cannot talk as an educated person on the subject.

The argument that "I have kids so I know what is the best decision" is simply self-righteous. She stated her choice and then was told that she was wrong.
 

Bouncing Soul

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
159%
May 13, 2014
336
534
We tell each other we're wrong in our choices all the time on this forum...Why is there so much animosity on this subject?

My wife and I for a long time didn't plan to have kids. We got some pressure from others, but I never really cared enough to let it piss me off. Then WE, changed our minds. Do people feel this particular social pressure so strongly they get super defensive on this? (from either "side")
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
596%
Oct 31, 2011
11,116
66,265
Gulf Coast
6W36154.jpg


I am very exited to get a child:

1) I work to have more stable economy first..
2) I have found a girl I want to commit to
3) I accept that I will loose all my sleep / social circle for the next years

But really, the only once who knows the real answer is the people with children, since they are the only once who knows both sides of the story...

that shirt amused the heck out of me.
 

BaraQueenbee

tiny
Read Fastlane!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
358%
Sep 14, 2015
328
1,173
36
Scottsdale, AZ
We tell each other we're wrong in our choices all the time on this forum...Why is there so much animosity on this subject?

My wife and I for a long time didn't plan to have kids. We got some pressure from others, but I never really cared enough to let it piss me off. Then WE, changed our minds. Do people feel this particular social pressure so strongly they get super defensive on this? (from either "side")

Because its NAUSEATING to being told in a degrading way "you will change your mind", especially when its being told to a grown person as opposed to some snotty 13-year old that just learned how to spell "diapers".
Times when people fell victim of their hormones or the worlds population was being carried on their shoulders has passed several millenia ago.

So yes, this literally is it, a choice.

Also, knowing from experience and seeing this all around me, adult females (males also, just in a lesser form), have to defend their beliefs or opinions on this topic more than one time per year, so yes. It gets super old.

Edit: people who say stuff like this are in the same category off "people who tell you you will go to hell if you dont believe in jesus" or some other snotty comment.

Also I realize I should learn to hold my temper and just not get involved in topics like this after it has taken the wrong turn. Noted to myself
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Red

Nigerian Lottery Prince
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Fastlane!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
353%
Feb 23, 2010
1,135
4,007
Phoenix
Because its NAUSEATING to being told in a degrading way "you will change your mind", especially when its being told to a grown person as opposed to some snotty 13-year old that just learned how to spell "diapers".

I have a feeling you & I are going to get along rather well.
 

LeftBench

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
316%
Jul 16, 2013
270
854
40
NJ
Becoming a father was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have two young sons and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

With that said, it has made everything in life much harder. I barely have a free moment outside of my Slowlane because of spending time with my family. With two young ones it is hard for my wife to get much done outside of the house while I am at work. When I get home I pretty much take over so she can get things done around the house.

I wasn't focused and crushing it before I had kids, though. There was always something holding me back and I was constantly making excuses. Now that I have kids, it has given me something to work hard for. I will be successful not only for myself but for my family. I can always stay up a little later, wake up a little earlier, work a little harder and smarter.

It is definitely possible to juggle massive success, a family, and all the other things in life. I'm still working on figuring it out, though ;-)
 

Bouncing Soul

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
159%
May 13, 2014
336
534
My wife and I "lived in sin" for like 6 years, caught it for that. Then were married a few years not really planning to have kids.
I know what you are saying. But I didn't really care when they pressured us, and I didn't really care when they congratulated us (or now when the other "side" gives us shit, or links some anti-kid article someone put in the media, which tend to be very vitriolic, in the interest of driving the almighty click count). For your own happiness, maybe you should practice a bit of stoicism on the topic, @BaraQueenbee :)

Maybe a point to consider...what IGP said is what happens to millions of people (and sorta how it happened to us). I don't think he's trying to force you to have kids, just explaining why he said what he did, perhaps imperfectly.
 

BaraQueenbee

tiny
Read Fastlane!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
358%
Sep 14, 2015
328
1,173
36
Scottsdale, AZ
My wife and I "lived in sin" for like 6 years, caught it for that. Then were married a few years not really planning to have kids.
I know what you are saying. But I didn't really care when they pressured us, and I didn't really care when they congratulated us (or now when the other "side" gives us shit, or links some anti-kid article someone put in the media, which tend to be very vitriolic, in the interest of driving the almighty click count). For your own happiness, maybe you should practice a bit of stoicism on the topic, @BaraQueenbee :)

Maybe a point to consider...what IGP said is what happens to millions of people (and sorta how it happened to us). I don't think he's trying to force you to have kids, just explaining why he said what he did, perhaps imperfectly.

Although I appreciate your concern, I do feel this is the other way around. Let's teach our children and the world to not be judgemental, on topics as this.
While we do this together as a society I shall work on a bit of stoicism.

Now back to happy hippie feelings.
 

Bouncing Soul

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
159%
May 13, 2014
336
534
Although I appreciate your concern, I do feel this is the other way around. Let's teach our children and the world to not be judgemental, on topics as this.
While we do this together as a society I shall work on a bit of stoicism.

Now back to happy hippie feelings.

I'll drink to that.
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

DayIFly

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
178%
Jul 16, 2012
135
240
Red has defended her decision to not have children as a choice. She has been told that she does not know because she does not have kids so she cannot talk as an educated person on the subject.

The argument that "I have kids so I know what is the best decision" is simply self-righteous. She stated her choice and then was told that she was wrong.

Defended from whom? There was literally just one single guy who directly responded to her with saying that but included in the end that she could be the exception though. All the other opinions weren't even addressed at her.

So I don't see the need for defending oneself and declaring other opinions not logical on the premise of having one's feelings hurt. This is the definition of being butthurt.

Sorry that my response is so aggressive, but with all due respect, I am butthurt too :D (though not about this topic per se).

@Bouncing Soul and @BaraQueenbee made a nice conclusion, I like that :tiphat:.
 

danoodle

Freedom Seeker
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Fastlane!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
118%
Feb 1, 2011
251
297
Kansas, toto
I can't not chime in this thread again, it's too funny to see everyone's cognitive biases. There are a few things people need to remember.

You are the most important thing in "your world". If you lose sight of this fact you will lose sight of your life. I am more important than my wife, and my child, and my parents, and my friends. I will ALWAYS put myself first. Which is why and how I am able to give them the life they deserve and be the best version of myself I can be. If you do not understand this logic, I sure as hell hope some of your kids don't die before you or they don't have kids of their own to let your "legacy" die out into a fastlane deadend. LOL If you put someone ahead of yourself, if you lose that person you will lose yourself. I truly hope that doesn't happen to you that think this way, although I am a sadist and kinda do hope it does happen to some of you so you see how wrong you really are. f*cked up? Maybe, but maybe it will also get you to think more.

The sun will eventually explode, the universe will collapse on itself or forever expand. Where is that legacy of yours?

People enjoy different interests and will have things that make them happy that others will never understand. Don't judge them. Whether that's having kids or not, don't reinforce your own biased notions by bashing others about their choices. None of you really know anything about anyone on here unless you've met them in person. You will not change their opinions or beliefs with a post on here, so stop trying. GG
 

GlobalWealth

Legendary Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
225%
Sep 6, 2009
2,582
5,818
Latvia
As a parent of 3, I will chime in. I was a young parent at 21 (and no, I didn't F*cking decide to have children at that age). Now I have 3 kids, 19, 16 and 8.

They are definitely time and money consumers, but I don't regret one minute or one dollar spent. Early on in my 20s I worked a lot but also maintained a home office that allowed me to spend time every day with my kids (at least days not traveling). I don't consider it a lack of freedom, just an adjustment of priorities.

Fast forward to today. I am no longer with the mother of the kids, but see my kids very often and for extended periods of time. My daughter is 19 and lives in London. She visits me every few months and I typically spend a couple of days in London with her as well.

My boys live primarily in the US now with their mother. But in the past year I have traveled with my boys to various parts of the US, Panama, St Martin, Anguilla, Canada, Latvia, Estonia, the Netherlands, and Hungary. At last count my 8 year old has visited 22 countries (I may have forgotten a couple). Not to mention my other travels without them.

They have in no way inhibited my freedom. In fact, it was great to have them along for the ride and to share the experiences.

My view is you can use your kids as an excuse to not do something, or they can be your reason for doing it.

Life changes and you must be willing to make the most of your own personal situation and choices.

Of course ultimately it is a personal choice on having children (just maybe not YOUR choice if you are a man), but children need not be a burden unless you perceive them to be.
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Guest post submissions offered HERE.

Latest Posts

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top