Freedom vs. Children

[jazb]

<div class="bbWrapper">Just depends how good you are.<br /> <br /> you can have both if you automate/eliminate/outsource/delegate</div>

 

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[DayIFly]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 6" data-quote="SteveO" data-source="post: 511151" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511151" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511151">SteveO said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Yeah... But she did not mean it. <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I know, that&#039;s why I posted it. Did I miss the joke here?<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 3474" data-quote="Red" data-source="post: 511199" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511199" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511199">Red said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Oh my god, Steve, I laughed so F*cking hard at this. Thank you, lol. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote></div>

 

[SteveO]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 11071" data-quote="DayIFly" data-source="post: 511225" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511225" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511225">DayIFly said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I know, that&#039;s why I posted it. Did I miss the joke here? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>No. We are riding with you.</div>

 

[jon.a]

<div class="bbWrapper">The best thing about children is when they make grandchildren <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /></div>

 

[IGP]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 12219" data-quote="jon.a" data-source="post: 511361" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511361" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511361">jon.a said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> The best thing about children is when they make grandchildren <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> That&#039;s because you can give them back when they start crying, whining, have a dirty diaper or start becoming a pain in the a$$! Haha!</div>

 

[jon.a]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 33894" data-quote="IGP" data-source="post: 511375" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511375" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511375">IGP said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> That&#039;s because you can give them back when they start crying, whining, have a dirty diaper or start becoming a pain in the a$$! Haha! </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>And, I give them presents that I want to play with too.<br /> <br /> (Thanks vig.)</div>

 

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[eekern]

<div class="bbWrapper"><script class="js-extraPhrases" type="application/json"> { "lightbox_close": "Close", "lightbox_next": "Next", "lightbox_previous": "Previous", "lightbox_error": "The requested content cannot be loaded. Please try again later.", "lightbox_start_slideshow": "Start slideshow", "lightbox_stop_slideshow": "Stop slideshow", "lightbox_full_screen": "Full screen", "lightbox_thumbnails": "Thumbnails", "lightbox_download": "Download", "lightbox_share": "Share", "lightbox_zoom": "Zoom", "lightbox_new_window": "New window", "lightbox_toggle_sidebar": "Toggle sidebar" } </script> <div class="bbImageWrapper js-lbImage" title="6W36154.jpg" data-src="/community/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F6W36154.jpg&amp;hash=d940ad8f68aaa65fb49a7e9ddaefa6bd" data-lb-sidebar-href="" data-lb-caption-extra-html="" data-single-image="1"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F6W36154.jpg&amp;hash=d940ad8f68aaa65fb49a7e9ddaefa6bd" data-url="http://i.imgur.com/6W36154.jpg" class="bbImage" data-zoom-target="1" style="" alt="6W36154.jpg" title="" width="" height="" loading="lazy" /> </div><br /> <br /> I am very exited to get a child:<br /> <br /> 1) I work to have more stable economy first..<br /> 2) I have found a girl I want to commit to<br /> 3) I accept that I will loose all my sleep / social circle for the next years<br /> <br /> But really, the only once who knows the real answer is the people with children, <b>since they are the only once who knows both sides of the story... </b></div>

 

[UpEvil]

<div class="bbWrapper">First time post. I am a parent of two kids both under the age of 7. They are big part of my motivation for joining the fastlane. I am more motivated now than before kids. But I am also a lot more time constrained.</div>

 

[Red]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 33043" data-quote="eekern" data-source="post: 511425" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511425" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511425">eekern said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> But really, the only once who knows the real answer is the people with children, <b>since they are the only once who knows both sides of the story... </b> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don&#039;t have to get herpes to know I don&#039;t want it. Same with a concussion.<br /> <br /> Now before you all go nuts thinking I&#039;m comparing children to herpes, I&#039;m not. I&#039;m just trying to show that you don&#039;t have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don&#039;t want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.<br /> <br /> This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she &quot;just hasn&#039;t found the right man yet&quot; -invalid argument there as well, folks.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s very simple: some people want different things than you do. That&#039;s okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals &amp; who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It&#039;s just that simple.</div>

 

[eekern]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 3474" data-quote="Red" data-source="post: 511564" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511564" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511564">Red said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don&#039;t have to get herpes to know I don&#039;t want it. Same with a concussion.<br /> <br /> Now before you all go nuts thinking I&#039;m comparing children to herpes, I&#039;m not. I&#039;m just trying to show that you don&#039;t have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don&#039;t want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.<br /> <br /> This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she &quot;just hasn&#039;t found the right man yet&quot; -invalid argument there as well, folks.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s very simple: some people want different things than you do. That&#039;s okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals &amp; who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It&#039;s just that simple. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> You misunderstood me completely<br /> <br /> If I knew how much struggle it would be to start my business I would never do it, but now when I start to see the benefits its all worth it.<br /> <br /> I just assume it is the same with having a child, 99% struggle but the 1% makes it all worth it.<br /> <br /> If you don`t want children, fine. I am not saying I am more right than you in any way, and I am far from threatened, I have currently the same questions as the OP.<br /> <br /> My point is that you don`t know about the feelings a child can give you, <b>and that is not the same as knowing that herpes is a bad time.. </b></div>

 

[IGP]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 3474" data-quote="Red" data-source="post: 511564" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511564" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511564">Red said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don&#039;t have to get herpes to know I don&#039;t want it. Same with a concussion.<br /> <br /> Now before you all go nuts thinking I&#039;m comparing children to herpes, I&#039;m not. I&#039;m just trying to show that you don&#039;t have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don&#039;t want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.<br /> <br /> This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she &quot;just hasn&#039;t found the right man yet&quot; -invalid argument there as well, folks.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s very simple: some people want different things than you do. That&#039;s okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals &amp; who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It&#039;s just that simple. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Totally agree on the some people want different things than others portion. However, your analogies are pretty far off.<br /> <br /> Herpes = bad<br /> Concussion = bad<br /> Sky diving = fear<br /> <br /> I don&#039;t think you can say that children are &quot;bad&quot; per se, but they can certainly be scary.<br /> <br /> Here is a better analogy and a true story.<br /> <br /> I am the youngest of 4 boys, we always had dogs, but never cats when I was a kid. When I graduated college and left home for good my parents were now empty-nesters. No kids, no animals just an empty house. My dad was retired at the time and we asked him:<br /> <br /> &quot;Why don&#039;t you get a dog? It will keep you company etc.etc.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;WTF am I gonna do with a dog? They are too much trouble, etc.etc.&quot;, he said.<br /> <br /> &quot;Ok, how about getting a cat.&quot; We asked.<br /> <br /> &quot;Cats! I F*cking hates cats. They&#039;re dirty, not social. I&#039;ve never liked cats.&quot; he said.<br /> <br /> &quot;Fine, to each their own&quot;. We said.<br /> <br /> Then one day a stray cat wandered up to the house. As these things go, he fed it once and it came back, before long they were fast friends. Pretty soon they were inseparable and that cat gave my father a lot of joy until one day it wandered off and never came back. My father was heartbroken.<br /> <br /> I think this is the point eekern was trying to make.<br /> <br /> My father never wanted a cat his entire life (he despised them) until one came into his life and it turned out that cat actually was a gift and it brought him a lot of joy.</div>

 

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[DayIFly]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 3474" data-quote="Red" data-source="post: 511564" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511564" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511564">Red said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> This argument is not rooted in any logic. I don&#039;t have to get herpes to know I don&#039;t want it. Same with a concussion.<br /> <br /> Now before you all go nuts thinking I&#039;m comparing children to herpes, I&#039;m not. I&#039;m just trying to show that you don&#039;t have to experience something to know that you whole-heartedly don&#039;t want to do it. Skydiving also falls in this category for me.<br /> <br /> This is also like arguing with a lesbian that she &quot;just hasn&#039;t found the right man yet&quot; -invalid argument there as well, folks.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s very simple: some people want different things than you do. That&#039;s okay. Be secure enough in your personal wants/desires/goals &amp; who you are that you are not threatened when others want something different. It&#039;s just that simple. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Chill out, nobody is attacking you. Everybody in this thread agrees that you can do the F*ck you wanna do.<br /> <br /> His argument is indeed rooted in logic. You are comparing experiences that last decades (with all the pros/cons and ups and downs) with temporary events that you have a disdain for.<br /> <br /> What about a lesbian woman that doesn&#039;t know she&#039;s a lesbian. Nah, don&#039;t try it, you simply haven&#039;t found the right man.<br /> <br /> How is your logic superior in this case? Sorry, I don&#039;t see it.<br /> <br /> He simply pointed out that there is a possibility that things are not as they seem, especially for people who didn&#039;t experience it.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s like arguing with Slowlaners. It&#039;s perfectly fine to work a 9-5 and for most it&#039;s the better choice. But some people read MJ&#039;s book in their 40s/50s (and later) and ask themselves &quot;What would I give if I only had access to it in my 20s&quot;.</div>

 

[eekern]

<div class="bbWrapper"><div class="bbImageWrapper js-lbImage" title="giphy.gif" data-src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FtFK8urY6XHj2w%2Fgiphy.gif&amp;hash=c412f21191297c4619df60d87c43f1a1" data-lb-sidebar-href="" data-lb-caption-extra-html="" data-single-image="1"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FtFK8urY6XHj2w%2Fgiphy.gif&amp;hash=c412f21191297c4619df60d87c43f1a1" data-url="https://media.giphy.com/media/tFK8urY6XHj2w/giphy.gif" class="bbImage" data-zoom-target="1" style="" alt="giphy.gif" title="" width="" height="" loading="lazy" /> </div></div>

 

[LEF]

<div class="bbWrapper">I am a parent twice, and from personal experience it&#039;s in line with what everyone else said:<br /> <br /> - Kids are a lot of work<br /> - You need to be financially ready to have a kid, it&#039;s easily $600-$1000 per kid a month for at least 18 years (averaged out)<br /> - You need to be emotionally ready, if you asking yourself is having kids a good idea? You are not ready, keep doing what you doing, and comeback to this question in few years. Essentially if you ready you will just know.<br /> - If your woman is about to expire and wants to have kids, and you feel bad about it, and thinking about having a kids because of that, don&#039;t, talk to your woman, tell her you not ready, and see where that goes.<br /> - You will have less personal fun time, but you will have a lot of kid fun time.<br /> - Choose wisely who you are having kids with, wait until at least you&#039;ve been with the person for few years. Your woman&#039;s career, education, personality and support network will matter once you have a kid.<br /> - Try to hold off on having kids after you are 30, you are completely different person then when compared to 20s.<br /> - And last, kids are super awesome, however not everyone can spend 7 days a week with their kid, don&#039;t feel bad, it doesn&#039;t mean you are a bad parent.<br /> <br /> LEF</div>

 

[SteveO]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 11071" data-quote="DayIFly" data-source="post: 511677" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511677" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511677">DayIFly said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Chill out, nobody is attacking you. Everybody in this thread agrees that you can do the F*ck you wanna do. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Red has defended her decision to not have children as a choice. She has been told that she does not know because she does not have kids so she cannot talk as an educated person on the subject. <br /> <br /> The argument that &quot;I have kids so I know what is the best decision&quot; is simply self-righteous. She stated her choice and then was told that she was wrong.</div>

 

[Bouncing Soul]

<div class="bbWrapper">We tell each other we&#039;re wrong in our choices all the time on this forum...Why is there so much animosity on <i>this</i> subject?<br /> <br /> My wife and I for a long time didn&#039;t plan to have kids. We got some pressure from others, but I never really cared enough to let it piss me off. Then WE, changed our minds. Do people feel this particular social pressure so strongly they get super defensive on this? (from either &quot;side&quot;)</div>

 

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[Vigilante]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 33043" data-quote="eekern" data-source="post: 511425" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=511425" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-511425">eekern said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> <div class="bbImageWrapper js-lbImage" title="6W36154.jpg" data-src="/community/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F6W36154.jpg&amp;hash=d940ad8f68aaa65fb49a7e9ddaefa6bd" data-lb-sidebar-href="" data-lb-caption-extra-html="" data-single-image="1"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F6W36154.jpg&amp;hash=d940ad8f68aaa65fb49a7e9ddaefa6bd" data-url="http://i.imgur.com/6W36154.jpg" class="bbImage" data-zoom-target="1" style="" alt="6W36154.jpg" title="" width="" height="" loading="lazy" /> </div><br /> <br /> I am very exited to get a child:<br /> <br /> 1) I work to have more stable economy first..<br /> 2) I have found a girl I want to commit to<br /> 3) I accept that I will loose all my sleep / social circle for the next years<br /> <br /> But really, the only once who knows the real answer is the people with children, <b>since they are the only once who knows both sides of the story... </b> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> that shirt amused the heck out of me.</div>

 

[SteveO]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 23426" data-quote="Bouncing Soul" data-source="post: 512074" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=512074" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-512074">Bouncing Soul said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> We tell each other we&#039;re wrong in our choices all the time on this forum.. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Perhaps that is the problem. <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /> <br /> <br /> Choices are simply that.</div>

 

[BaraQueenbee]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 23426" data-quote="Bouncing Soul" data-source="post: 512074" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=512074" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-512074">Bouncing Soul said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> We tell each other we&#039;re wrong in our choices all the time on this forum...Why is there so much animosity on <i>this</i> subject?<br /> <br /> My wife and I for a long time didn&#039;t plan to have kids. We got some pressure from others, but I never really cared enough to let it piss me off. Then WE, changed our minds. Do people feel this particular social pressure so strongly they get super defensive on this? (from either &quot;side&quot;) </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Because its NAUSEATING to being told in a degrading way &quot;you will change your mind&quot;, especially when its being told to a grown person as opposed to some snotty 13-year old that just learned how to spell &quot;diapers&quot;.<br /> Times when people fell victim of their hormones or the worlds population was being carried on their shoulders has passed several millenia ago.<br /> <br /> So yes, this literally is it, a choice.<br /> <br /> Also, knowing from experience and seeing this all around me, adult females (males also, just in a lesser form), have to defend their beliefs or opinions on this topic more than one time per year, so yes. It gets super old.<br /> <br /> Edit: people who say stuff like this are in the same category off &quot;people who tell you you will go to hell if you dont believe in jesus&quot; or some other snotty comment.<br /> <br /> Also I realize I should learn to hold my temper and just not get involved in topics like this after it has taken the wrong turn. Noted to myself</div>

 

[Red]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 34448" data-quote="BaraQueenbee" data-source="post: 512084" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=512084" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-512084">BaraQueenbee said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Because its NAUSEATING to being told in a degrading way &quot;you will change your mind&quot;, especially when its being told to a grown person as opposed to some snotty 13-year old that just learned how to spell &quot;diapers&quot;. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I have a feeling you &amp; I are going to get along rather well.</div>

 

[LeftBench]

<div class="bbWrapper">Becoming a father was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have two young sons and I wouldn&#039;t trade them for the world.<br /> <br /> With that said, it has made everything in life much harder. I barely have a free moment outside of my Slowlane because of spending time with my family. With two young ones it is hard for my wife to get much done outside of the house while I am at work. When I get home I pretty much take over so she can get things done around the house.<br /> <br /> I wasn&#039;t focused and crushing it before I had kids, though. There was always something holding me back and I was constantly making excuses. Now that I have kids, it has given me something to work hard for. I will be successful not only for myself but for my family. I can always stay up a little later, wake up a little earlier, work a little harder and smarter. <br /> <br /> It is definitely possible to juggle massive success, a family, and all the other things in life. I&#039;m still working on figuring it out, though ;-)</div>

 

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[jon.a]

<div class="bbWrapper">There&#039;s usually more than one way to be right. Just try real hard not to be wrong.</div>

 

[Bouncing Soul]

<div class="bbWrapper">My wife and I &quot;lived in sin&quot; for like 6 years, caught it for that. Then were married a few years not really planning to have kids. <br /> I know what you are saying. But I didn&#039;t really care when they pressured us, and I didn&#039;t really care when they congratulated us (or now when the other &quot;side&quot; gives us shit, or links some anti-kid article someone put in the media, which tend to be very vitriolic, in the interest of driving the almighty click count). For your own happiness, maybe you should practice a bit of stoicism on the topic, <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/34448/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="34448" data-username="@BaraQueenbee">@BaraQueenbee</a> <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /><br /> <br /> Maybe a point to consider...what IGP said is what happens to millions of people (and sorta how it happened to us). I don&#039;t think he&#039;s trying to force you to have kids, just explaining why he said what he did, perhaps imperfectly.</div>

 

[BaraQueenbee]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 23426" data-quote="Bouncing Soul" data-source="post: 512094" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=512094" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-512094">Bouncing Soul said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> My wife and I &quot;lived in sin&quot; for like 6 years, caught it for that. Then were married a few years not really planning to have kids. <br /> I know what you are saying. But I didn&#039;t really care when they pressured us, and I didn&#039;t really care when they congratulated us (or now when the other &quot;side&quot; gives us shit, or links some anti-kid article someone put in the media, which tend to be very vitriolic, in the interest of driving the almighty click count). For your own happiness, maybe you should practice a bit of stoicism on the topic, <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/34448/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="34448" data-username="@BaraQueenbee">@BaraQueenbee</a> <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /><br /> <br /> Maybe a point to consider...what IGP said is what happens to millions of people (and sorta how it happened to us). I don&#039;t think he&#039;s trying to force you to have kids, just explaining why he said what he did, perhaps imperfectly. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Although I appreciate your concern, I do feel this is the other way around. Let&#039;s teach our children and the world to not be judgemental, on topics as this.<br /> While we do this together as a society I shall work on a bit of stoicism. <br /> <br /> Now back to happy hippie feelings.</div>

 

[Bouncing Soul]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 34448" data-quote="BaraQueenbee" data-source="post: 512098" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=512098" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-512098">BaraQueenbee said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Although I appreciate your concern, I do feel this is the other way around. Let&#039;s teach our children and the world to not be judgemental, on topics as this.<br /> While we do this together as a society I shall work on a bit of stoicism.<br /> <br /> Now back to happy hippie feelings. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I&#039;ll drink to that.</div>

 

[DayIFly]

<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 6" data-quote="SteveO" data-source="post: 512027" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=512027" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-512027">SteveO said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Red has defended her decision to not have children as a choice. She has been told that she does not know because she does not have kids so she cannot talk as an educated person on the subject.<br /> <br /> The argument that &quot;I have kids so I know what is the best decision&quot; is simply self-righteous. She stated her choice and then was told that she was wrong. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Defended from whom? There was literally just one single guy who directly responded to her with saying that but included in the end that she could be the exception though. All the other opinions weren&#039;t even addressed at her.<br /> <br /> So I don&#039;t see the need for defending oneself and declaring other opinions <u>not logical</u> on the premise of having one&#039;s feelings hurt. This is the definition of being butthurt.<br /> <br /> Sorry that my response is so aggressive, but with all due respect, I am butthurt too <span class="smilie smilie--emoji" title="Big Grin :D" data-smilie="8" data-shortname=":D">😀</span> (though not about this topic per se).<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/23426/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="23426" data-username="@Bouncing Soul">@Bouncing Soul</a> and <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/34448/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="34448" data-username="@BaraQueenbee">@BaraQueenbee</a> made a nice conclusion, I like that <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tiphat.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tiphat:" title="Tip Hat :tiphat:" data-shortname=":tiphat:" />.</div>

 

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[danoodle]

<div class="bbWrapper">I can&#039;t not chime in this thread again, it&#039;s too funny to see everyone&#039;s cognitive biases. There are a few things people need to remember. <br /> <br /> You are the most important thing in &quot;your world&quot;. If you lose sight of this fact you will lose sight of your life. I am more important than my wife, and my child, and my parents, and my friends. I will ALWAYS put myself first. Which is why and how I am able to give them the life they deserve and be the best version of myself I can be. If you do not understand this logic, I sure as hell hope some of your kids don&#039;t die before you or they don&#039;t have kids of their own to let your &quot;legacy&quot; die out into a fastlane deadend. LOL If you put someone ahead of yourself, if you lose that person you will lose yourself. I truly hope that doesn&#039;t happen to you that think this way, although I am a sadist and kinda do hope it does happen to some of you so you see how wrong you really are. f*cked up? Maybe, but maybe it will also get you to think more.<br /> <br /> The sun will eventually explode, the universe will collapse on itself or forever expand. Where is that legacy of yours?<br /> <br /> People enjoy different interests and will have things that make them happy that others will never understand. Don&#039;t judge them. Whether that&#039;s having kids or not, don&#039;t reinforce your own biased notions by bashing others about their choices. None of you really know anything about anyone on here unless you&#039;ve met them in person. You will not change their opinions or beliefs with a post on here, so stop trying. GG</div>

 

[GlobalWealth]

<div class="bbWrapper">As a parent of 3, I will chime in. I was a young parent at 21 (and no, I didn&#039;t F*cking decide to have children at that age). Now I have 3 kids, 19, 16 and 8. <br /> <br /> They are definitely time and money consumers, but I don&#039;t regret one minute or one dollar spent. Early on in my 20s I worked a lot but also maintained a home office that allowed me to spend time every day with my kids (at least days not traveling). I don&#039;t consider it a lack of freedom, just an adjustment of priorities.<br /> <br /> Fast forward to today. I am no longer with the mother of the kids, but see my kids very often and for extended periods of time. My daughter is 19 and lives in London. She visits me every few months and I typically spend a couple of days in London with her as well. <br /> <br /> My boys live primarily in the US now with their mother. But in the past year I have traveled with my boys to various parts of the US, Panama, St Martin, Anguilla, Canada, Latvia, Estonia, the Netherlands, and Hungary. At last count my 8 year old has visited 22 countries (I may have forgotten a couple). Not to mention my other travels without them.<br /> <br /> They have in no way inhibited my freedom. In fact, it was great to have them along for the ride and to share the experiences.<br /> <br /> My view is you can use your kids as an excuse to not do something, or they can be your reason for doing it. <br /> <br /> Life changes and you must be willing to make the most of your own personal situation and choices.<br /> <br /> Of course ultimately it is a personal choice on having children (just maybe not YOUR choice if you are a man), but children need not be a burden unless you perceive them to be.</div>