Fiance is calling my business "his/our" business, threatening to sue me

[legaljanie]

I dont agree here. You have to understand I was asking him to go into business with me...launch it with me...it would be "our business". He would co-sign for a line of credit and we would do this together.

His response was that I will fail. That he won't EVER be my bitch or sell anything FOR me. He isn't like that...and it will never work and I should stick to my day job.

That's when I got the investor/developer and that's when I chose to leave him out.

I should say the formation lawyers heard my concerns about him threatening to sue me for trying to help me or offer advice. So, they suggested making him a paid consultant to establish his role in the beginning of the company....

I'd say you're both self centered, and that won't work in a marriage. Him more than you, but not by much. Ive also only heard one side of the story.

When you enter marriage, you need to enter it with at least SOME confidence that the damn union will last. Saying "MY" business not "OURS" implies a horizon on the marriage before it even begins. Please don't get married or have children together.

As far as the business... You didn't mention a contract... I don't see your legal exposure.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MTEE1985]

You have asked for and received a consensus on advice but seem to be countering it at every turn.

This is a business and entrepreneurship forum, not a relationship forum so look at it from the business perspective. He appears to have a MASSIVE ego I.e. “you need me.” and that alone would be enough for me to never want to be in business with him.

He will never care about providing value for others.

If you can succeed without him then do it. If he is too childish to be happy for you and proud of you, well, that’s between you two.

 

[SquatchMan]

My developer/investor (one in the same) backed out and said that it was mainly because of my fiance. He felt that I should have told him more about our level of romantic involvement up front and that he was not comfortable with the fact that HE noticed my fiance positioning himself as part owner of the company. He is gone. He said NO MORE. My fiance blamed me and suggested that I went to him and secretly told him that he was threatening to sue...and that scared him off. But that's not the case. I never said a word, because I knew that would have been a red flag.

Emphasis mine. You knowingly lied, by omission, about a red flag to your investor.

Do you see anything wrong with that?

This investor is a smart man. I bet he ran off and started the business himself. That's what I would do.

Anyway, the business/idea must be somewhat good if you can find investors and people seem interested. Best of luck.

 

[Kak]

I dont agree here. You have to understand I was asking him to go into business with me...launch it with me...it would be "our business". He would co-sign for a line of credit and we would do this together.

His response was that I will fail. That he won't EVER be my bitch or sell anything FOR me. He isn't like that...and it will never work and I should stick to my day job.

That's when I got the investor/developer and that's when I chose to leave him out.

I should say the formation lawyers heard my concerns about him threatening to sue me for trying to help me or offer advice. So, they suggested making him a paid consultant to establish his role in the beginning of the company....

I hate to say it but I understand his frustrations a bit. You're asking him to be part of the business and still calling it yours. "Me, mine, my it's all about me." And he's the only one at fault when he wants to be officially part of it after you say crap like that.

He's a jackass... but so are you. Grow the hell up and work things out with your fiance instead of slandering him to a forum... Or kick him to the curb and find someone that not only respects you, but someone you respect. It's a two way road.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[JAJT]

Yeah, this makes no sense.

What you've told us so far about him:

- Your fiance is unsupportive of your ideas
- He's jealous
- He saw you may be onto something
- He threatened you
- He's now blackmailing you for a piece of the pie by refusing to help you unless he's in it on paper

What you've told us about yourself:

- You like him because he's a doctor
- You like him because he's good looking

You know what I'm not hearing, at all?

- You're both madly in love
- You help each other with everything
- You're both on the same path together
- Love matters more than money, looks, or occupation

Look - from what YOU'VE told us (which is all we can go on), it sounds like the relationship is superficial and he's gone from blatantly putting you down to trying to weasel in on a good deal.

If everything you've said is the full story (which it likely isn't), then it's pretty obvious to everyone here that you should get out of the relationship and take your idea into your own hands.

What you absolutely should not do is believe that involving him officially is the right answer - he's very clearly only interested because he sees he might miss out on a huge piece of lucrative pie.

 

[legaljanie]

Yes i see what you are saying.

I do love him but not the way i used to. It’s true. I am angry and resentful.

I think i keep imagining that some how some day we will be okay.

The problem with letting go...is that I respect him and his surgical skills. I see him as a very smart man and I feel inferior to him.

 

[TinyTim]

Surely this is a troll... lol

There isn't a doubt in my mind.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[legaljanie]

Definitely not a troll. I wish I could say this wasn’t the truth. It is my reality.

I apparently sound insane to take this ....considering the response here.

But I appreciate the insight and objective advice. When you don’t have any friends left...and you are constantly surrounded by this negativity. You begin to believe if.

There isn't a doubt in my mind.

 

[The Abundant Man]

Yes i see what you are saying.

I do love him but not the way i used to. It’s true. I am angry and resentful.

I think i keep imagining that some how some day we will be okay.

The problem with letting go...is that I respect him and his surgical skills. I see him as a very smart man and I feel inferior to him.

Maybe books smart but sure ain't people smart.

 

[Kak]

Yes i see what you are saying.

I do love him but not the way i used to. It’s true. I am angry and resentful.

I think i keep imagining that some how some day we will be okay.

The problem with letting go...is that I respect him and his surgical skills. I see him as a very smart man and I feel inferior to him.

Marrying someone for their "surgical skills" and because you feel inferior is nuts.

That is the kind of logic a high school girl brings to a dating relationship... not two adults contemplating actual real marriage.

You didn't even refute my original argument that you already see a likelihood of divorce.

You don't love him. You hate him. You hate the guy enough to get on a forum and bash him to people you don't know. He is defenseless.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[legaljanie]

He is defenseless here. But, I was seeking objective opinions and request or how much I should allow him into my business and investor meetings.

I am not bashing him. I am telling the truth. And also getting some negative here because I have defended some of his behavior to make sure I was being objective as possible.

Marrying someone for their "surgical skills" and because you feel inferior is nuts.

That is the kind of logic a high school girl brings to a dating relationship... not two adults contemplating actual real marriage.

You didn't even refute my original argument that you already see a likelihood of divorce.

You don't love him. You hate him. You hate the guy enough to get on a forum and bash him to people you don't know. He is defenseless.

 

[SteveO]

Many years ago, there was a couple in my apartment complex. He was physically abusing her in a rough manner. I stepped in to stop it. They both turned on me.... I learned something that day.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

No….he is difficult all the way around. but he’s a very good looking…surgeon. He’s been married twice before…left his first wife while she was pregnant with their third child (for the neighbor)….

With this kind of attitude, you deserve what you're getting.

Either both of you are using each other (and both deserve what you sow) or this has to be epic level trolling, not to mention a sheer display of stupidity.

The he left his pregnant wife but who cares, he's a hot surgeon! is tantamount to the most eye-rolling thing I've read on this forum in a decade.

From my perspective, you're asking us how to fix a broken, ego-driven, self-centered human when the real problem is there are TWO humans that need fixing.

There is no entrepreneurial advice I can give because the roots of the problem isn't entrepreneurial.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Kak]

With this kind of attitude, you deserve what you're getting.

Either both of you are using each other (and both deserve what you sow) or this has to be epic level trolling, not to mention a sheer display of stupidity.

The he left his pregnant wife but who cares, he's a hot surgeon! is tantamount to the most eye-rolling thing I've read on this forum in a decade.

From my perspective, you're asking us how to fix a broken, ego-driven, self-centered human when the real problem is there are TWO humans that need fixing.

There is no entrepreneurial advice I can give because the roots of the problem isn't entrepreneurial.

Amen. @legaljanie listen to this.

 

[legaljanie]

That's true. I just look back at all the photos of vacations we had and ski trips where I imagined that we would have this life forever.

I know this is relationship territory -- but I had asked him over the past year when we would be married. He said by the end of 2017. That came and went. And now he says he won't marry me right now because he feels it's the only way to get equity in my company. He won't be "blackmailed into marriage"

I'm just sad. I am sitting across from him typing this and feel very sad. He keeps asking "what's wrong? You seem "distant" what is your deal? I want to say YEAH I'm distant. I want to know my FIANCE will set a wedding date...and will not claim I'm abnormal for asking for a wedding date....OR won't try to sue me because he's pissed that I won't put him in a business that I asked him to be in...and he said NO...until he saw $$$ signs.

With this kind of attitude, you deserve what you're getting.

Either both of you are using each other (and both deserve what you sow) or this has to be epic level trolling, not to mention a sheer display of stupidity.

The he left his pregnant wife but who cares, he's a hot surgeon! is tantamount to the most eye-rolling thing I've read on this forum in a decade.

From my perspective, you're asking us how to fix a broken, ego-driven, self-centered human when the real problem is there are TWO humans that need fixing.

There is no entrepreneurial advice I can give because the roots of the problem isn't entrepreneurial.

 

[Ayanle Farah]

That's true. I just look back at all the photos of vacations we had and ski trips where I imagined that we would have this life forever.

I know this is relationship territory -- but I had asked him over the past year when we would be married. He said by the end of 2017. That came and went. And now he says he won't marry me right now because he feels it's the only way to get equity in my company. He won't be "blackmailed into marriage"

I'm just sad. I am sitting across from him typing this and feel very sad. He keeps asking "what's wrong? You seem "distant" what is your deal? I want to say YEAH I'm distant. I want to know my FIANCE will set a wedding date...and will not claim I'm abnormal for asking for a wedding date....OR won't try to sue me because he's pissed that I won't put him in a business that I asked him to be in...and he said NO...until he saw $$$ signs.

In other words, you just need a shoulder to cry on...from strangers on a forum. You won't talk to your fiance sitting across from you and you've shown you're not interested in any advice.

I feel like posting a meme here.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Tom.V]

Just because you care about someone doesn't mean you should involve them in business affairs. I've tried this before and I'm really not a fan of the whole dynamic it creates if the relationship itself isn't on absolutely concrete footing. Relationships alone are extremely emotional things. As are businesses. Combine a crazy relationship with a startup and well.. this thread.

 

[biophase]

This is truly a no brainer. 100% of the people replying are saying leave this dude. But you probably won't. I understand it's emotional. In fact, it feels like you both feed off each other's abuse.

I've never seen an answer like yours... he's a good surgeon, he's good looking.

Imagine if it was flipped and a guy was on here asking if he should stay with his GF because she's a model and has big boobs.

If you can't clearly see that you should leave, we can't do much for you here. And lastly, it's 100% that your business will NOT work while you are together. Running a business is hard enough without someone in your own home trying to sabotage it. And that is what he's doing...

He doesn't want you to have any success because he's insecure in himself and cannot stand the idea having a GF/wife who is the least bit successful.

 

[Get Right]

That's quite a username you got there...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

I'm just sad.

We're sad too. Sad that we're being trolled, or sad that there are relationships like this where people actually think it is normal and acceptable.

 

[Kak]

On another note... Dr. Surgeon McHandsome is a total sidewalker. Broke AF but going on ski trips and vacations left and right. I find that humorous. I bet he has a cool car too.

 

[lowtek]

Must be some grade A trolling, nobody could have such a lack of self awareness.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Xeon]

OP is suffering from the Sunken Cost Fallacy mentioned in Unscripted .

 

[loop101]

This has to be a troll. If they are legit, they need therapy more than business advice. If they really want Fastlane advice, go with what Felix Dennis said, and never give up a single iota of ownership in your business to anyone.

 

[Scot]

The problem with letting go...is that I respect him and his surgical skills. I see him as a very smart man and I feel inferior to him.

Tanesha? Is that you..?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[legaljanie]

I am legit and I think my therapist would agree with you. She keeps asking WHY I don't feel the pain of the emotional abuse I am absorbing. And WHY I don't just leave.

I think at the core I'm not capable of much...including this business. Is that my fault/issue? yes...has he had any impact on my confidence....God Yes.

This has to be a troll. If they are legit, they need therapy more than business advice. If they really want Fastlane advice, go with what Felix Dennis said, and never give up a single iota of ownership in your business to anyone.

 

[MTEE1985]

I am legit and I think my therapist would agree with you. She keeps asking WHY I don't feel the pain of the emotional abuse I am absorbing. And WHY I don't just leave.

I think at the core I'm not capable of much...including this business. Is that my fault/issue? yes...has he had any impact on my confidence....God Yes.

My last thought before never reading this post again is to hit up @Kung Fu Steve and join his group. It’ll help with a lot of this.

 

[loop101]

I am legit and I think my therapist would agree with you. She keeps asking WHY I don't feel the pain of the emotional abuse I am absorbing. And WHY I don't just leave.

I think at the core I'm not capable of much...including this business. Is that my fault/issue? yes...has he had any impact on my confidence....God Yes.

Business is "failing until you succeed", it is not complete failure or complete success. No one, including you, your fiancee, or worst troll, can say you will fail or succeed at anything. Business forums are not known for their warm hugs, the only reason the Kurgans haven't tossed you like a child in to a pit of hungry dogs, is because your profile says your female. You should resolve your fiancee situation before you raise your stress level by starting a business.

A Kurgan:

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[minivanman]

Sounds like both of you make a great match. You are a gold digger and he is a dumbass (in every way except his career). I say stay together... stick it out.... sometimes the crowd goes to the race track to watch a good crash, this is one of those times.

 

[legaljanie]

I AM a golddigger? Really? Because I pursued my own business and tried to hang on to it? How does that make me a gold digger?

BTW I left my career when he proposed and told me he would "take care of me"...which really meant he would NOT.

I can take a lot of accusations but GOLD DIGGER is not one. Sorry. I'm a hard work and I earn EVERY penny.

Sounds like both of you make a great match. You are a gold digger and he is a dumbass (in every way except his career). I say stay together... stick it out.... sometimes the crowd goes to the race track to watch a good crash, this is one of those times.