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Dealing with a mans greatest distraction.

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lukabranding

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.
 

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blueyedgibson

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.
I can relate to what you are saying about relationships being a distraction, but everyone's experience is different. I think you should find what is best for you as different people handle solitude better than others.
If you can find a girlfriend who understands your journey and is supportive, then great! If you find your time being spent on relationships instead of your career goals, then maybe adjust your approach.
Some people are ok having casual relationships, and as long as both people are aware of the circumstances and in agreement, then that may be the best approach for you at this time.
 

Kak

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Pursue both. They are not mutually exclusive.

The right wife can bring a lot to the table on this journey. The wrong one can be disasterous.

I believe my marriage was one of the best things I ever did for my success journey. I have a bigger purpose now than I did.

If you are coming at this from a mutually exclusive mindset you are already laying the wrong foundation... Get that out of your head because it doesn't need to be there. You can have a great relationship and build a great business. One doesn't require neglecting the other.

If you look at the statistical differences between the poor and the wealthy. The wealthy have healthier relationships by quite a measurable margin.

Edit, your inspired me!
 
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Digamma

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I’m not saying to continue living like this once I’ve achieved what I set out to do.
Sure, everybody says that.

So they become boring losers to get rich, and end up rich boring losers.

Hey, you may be the exception. Maybe you make cash and then become fun.

But this is what I have seen in the real world, having met many of such rich losers.

Rich people who are fun to hang with were fun the whole way up.

Without exception.

(And know this, they are a minority.)

Life is life and you don't get to postpone life.

You don't get a mulligan when you kill your own soul.

The same zestful child who wants to chase skirts and surf and drive on highways and drink beer in the sun is the one who gets the bright ideas.

You drown him, he dead.

Besides...

You conflate different things.

Social media and entertainment are not the same as friends, family, women, sports, hobbies...

One is poison designed to keep you asleep, a zombie consuming the milk from the tit of Satan himself.

The other is the whole point of the ride.

Just food for thots.
 

LordGanon

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You're attracting the wrong kind of woman (and there are lots of those) if this truly poses a problem, or you come to a wrong understanding with them. Also, you got to figure out what you want from a woman.

If it is "just sex", I can tell you that masturbation is the way to go. Because no matter how many women you've slept with, it won't stop you from getting horny. I literally had more sexual partners than I can count (to the degree that I'm pretty sure some would deem that pathological, and I'm pretty sure it was), it doesn't matter.

But now, I actually don't care that much about sleeping with the next woman anymore. Sure, there are bouts of the feeling of "I need another woman right now", but...naaaah. Weigh that against the potential emotional trouble and time wasted in the hassle, and masturbation becomes the best solution.

If you just want to have sex and don't want to pay for a prostitute, sign up for Tinder and/or any other free platform and go for single moms. I don't want this to be interpreted the wrong way. MJ was raised by a single mother, so was I. I'm not saying that they are "easy sluts" (although I don't deem promiscuity healthy, I won't judge anyone for it). I'm just saying that women with children are a no-go for a lot of men, which makes them far more available. And given that they have children, they can not allot a lot of time and therefore things move quicker.

If you want someone in your life that cares about you and you can wake up next to, then be ready to invest. The benefits can be awesome. Just make sure the women have something in their life they care about, too. Because if they just need you to fill their own emptiness (which is often the case from my experience), they'll drain you in any way possible. Time related, emotionally, financially.
 

Knugs

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.

If you are really driven about your business you should have the exact reversed problem where you dont pay enough attention to friends, family and ... "relationships".

Here in your case you seem to have a lack of control which requires you to cut "all ties" completely, so that you actually focus your time on your business. In other words you seem to have issues with discipline which might be driven by your questionable motivation for your business.

A strong social support is the most important foundation of your mental health which in itself is essential to succeed in business. Social media, gaming, friends, family, entertainment and "women" are all ways for your brain to relax and a way to protect your mental health. Thinking entrepreneurship is a sprint is a massiv mistake when its actually the most painful marathon you could have never practised for.

I havent beaten the system but I have failed miserably going monk-mode myself and neglecting my mental health for the sake of growing my business. I neglected all of the above which came biting me back harder than you can imagine. There are times where you work 20 hours to make it work and doing these short sprints are okay but you need to remember that this is a long journey.

Having a strong supportive relationship will drive you even more and make you even more succesful in your business. Especially when the journey is a roller coaster, its extra nice to have somebody you can speak to in confidence.

The "suffer now, enjoy life later" mantra is a disastrous mistake.
 
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Hadrian

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.

Welcome to the Nights Watch my friend! :fistbump:

Hah yes 7 years ago in the name of Self-Actualisation I left my nice cosy comfortable teaching job in the countryside to move to Dublin city to try get into the tech world as I knew I had some very cool app ideas.

I ended up getting totally distracted by life and ended up in a relationship and almost married... but once I decided to commit to building a business all of that fell away.... helped by the fact that my ex was the most dangerous female predator of them all: a Borderline!

Since then the Women factor is one I've wrestled with terribly. I tried a few relationships but they take time, energy and money and my thoughts are tunnel vision, trying to get a successful business off the ground, and girls know when they aren't a priority. Hookers are great because they're honest but I simply can't afford it plus I dont know if they were trafficked and I have ethical issues with the industry as it stands currently. I also have a few girls I used to see occasionally but I have too much honor to have sex and then just leave. So wasting a whole day or two with someone I have no emotional interest in is time I don't have to spend. But I will confess I spend far far too much time thinking about sex.... and its a terrible distraction. Porn leaves me feeling spiritually unclean... masterbation is necessary to stay sane.

If you can find a way to balance your life out even a little then do it for the sake of your mental health... but it's just not possible for many of us.. holding down full time jobs... families, minding sick parents etc... Even the admin/secretarial side of running a business is hugely time consuming as most of us can't afford PA's, Accountants etc...

While everyones path is different and no rule is absolute, for me at least I think MJ was correct in that until you're successful "Balance is Bullshit!".

This is me for the last 5 years... a journey I wouldnt recommend!


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Edit: After listening to Kak's podcast on this I do agree with him that having a solid relationship can be far more beneficial that doing this solo. Napoleon Hill backs this up in TAGR where he confirms that behind most successful men lies the support of a good woman. Unfortunately successful men often get distracted by younger women later and often their success tapestry unwinds. If you're starting from single from my experience at least women aren't interested in the long hard road ahead...
 
Last edited:

jjohns500

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.
Chase excellence and the women will be there. Chasing women is a dead end.

You can definitely have both a relationship and success but you cannot do it without really strong boundaries. Your mission is just that, yours. It's not your wife's or gf's an they need to know and respect that and you must create strong boundaries to protect that for yourself. If you do not put boundaries in place you will end up sacrificing your time and your success for them to a point where you will be letting yourself down and not achieving your goals. Do not sacrifice yourself to make someone else better.

This is something that for me has been an issue in the past and it takes a ton of work to change the mindset and approach it from a different viewpoint.

Check out Richard Cooper on youtube. You may find some value in what he brings to the table. Also, read Rationale Male
 

Andy Black

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A line I try to live by:

"Start how you mean to continue."
 

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fridge

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If women are your downfall, the problem is within yourself and not them. I have lost a lot of friends who immediately turned sour every time they got into a relationship with a woman. Ditching commitments with our group of friends, being overall lazy as hell, neglecting their own path to success in life, etc. The truth is, if you are one of these people, the problem isn't in women, or even any external factor, but is with yourself and the fact you let external factors take ownership of you.
 

Kybalion

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A line I try to live by:

"Start how you mean to continue."
Hey Andy - Care to elaborate?

Starting something and continuing are often two completely different things.

For example - getting venture capital for a startup is completely different than managing the business once it's taken off.

In OPs case it may be wise to focus on just the business for a while (or not depending on his unique situation).

I think it's cool to focus on building momentum for a while, and then once things start to work find some kind of work/life balance.

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?


And to answer the OPs specific question - if it's really that important for you, there are women who'll be fine to meet with you once every two weeks for just carnal purposes. It doesn't consume that much time.

If however, you're looking for someone to have an emotional connection with then it's tougher, since they'll probably demand more of your time. I believe there are awesome potential partners who'll support you, but you'll have to go through a lot of ''unqualified prospects'' to find a compatible romantic partner.
 

Andy Black

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Care to elaborate?
Sure. Sometimes we have to sprint to break a tackle, but if I want to build a business where I’m able to spend time with my kids then I’ll do it spending time with my kids.
 

ants

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If women are your downfall, the problem is within yourself and not them. I have lost a lot of friends who immediately turned sour every time they got into a relationship with a woman. Ditching commitments with our group of friends, being overall lazy as hell, neglecting their own path to success in life, etc. The truth is, if you are one of these people, the problem isn't in women, or even any external factor, but is with yourself and the fact you let external factors take ownership of you.

I think this applies to a lot of people and I have even noticed these tendencies from within myself at early stages of relationships in the past. I think it all comes down to personal focus and how your emotions guide you. If you emotionally start attaching yourself to a new partner without realising or reflecting upon it, then it will be inherently difficult to focus on other aspects that are not as relatable to your life i.e. the unknowns of business pursuit etc.

Also, I would suggest you work just as hard to maintain some form of friendship/network support around you even if it means not physically seeing people but staying in touch to some degree. It's very likely that at some point you will need their support and to be around them. Even if you succeed after 5 years as the above example of doing nothing but grinding you don't know how your mental health will be and it could go sour very very fast. From experience having close friends around you at these times is without a doubt irreplaceable with any drugs or therapy. Loneliness will eventually tear you apart if you're not careful or ignorant of it.
 

Kevin88660

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.
I think blocking out time to do your most important task will be helpful.

Let the whatever distraction fight your remaining time budget.

You will be forced to think what really matters when doing time budgeting.

Human being is like a toothpaste. You never know you have this potential until getting squeezed. You might be thinking that missing social media, games or girls can be hard for average people. I have some slight interest in history. The same people when put in war trenches can do much more with minimum access to food and water. It is about putting things in perspective.

I have a view that human potential is what you can do when being pointed a gun at your head. And ultimately it boils down to what much you want to simulate that kind of pressure to perform.
 
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MrTrash757

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I'm lucky to be with a partner that has the same mindset as me, and works in a smart and lazy way like I do.

That's why I am slowly trying to build income streams that run themselves. Its going to take a bit, but long term its the way to go... so I can free up the 40 hours each week to go after things I want, like beating a Gym Leader in Pokemon Sword, flying a plane, or being in nature.

Right now I use those things as therapy in moderation to keep me focused and not depressed all the time.

Start with the end in mind.
 

afrankmore

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Distractions.
The things that can lead to procrastination and eventually cause the downfall of your business.

Social Media
Video Games
Movies/Entertainment
Friends
Family
etc etc...

During my journey of starting a business, I noticed that when I cut all ties off my focus becomes extraordinary. It's almost like I've gone into monk mode.
But,
There's one that gets into my head and is extremely hard to manage.
One that can alter and wipe out my set future timeline


Women.


How do you come about dealing with something so biologically indispensable?
I strongly believe this can independently change my success,
it's why I need an answer from someone whos beat the system.
Starting to register in my mind that it's not possible to put both together
So I'm asking you as a business owner

Do you cut all ties and pursue the loneliest path in life?
Or, is there another way around it.
Like other men as well, I too suffer from this distraction. However, I am currently single and have found myself slowly talking to a woman. I am not putting the effort into it like I have in the past because a lot of my energy has been focused on creating my program workbooks. I have not beaten the system at all but what has helped me was being very selective in who I choose to pursue. I was in a very toxic relationship that drained every thing out of me including my paycheck! When I became single, I told myself that if I wanted to pursue a relationship in the future they need to be on my level or higher. Which means, working full time and/or running, creating a business. They need to have some kind of entrepreneur spirit so they can understand where my head is at times. I told myself that if I pursue this avenue, they need to be my equal or better. So since I dont drink, neither can they. I have a son, so kids or kid friendly is a must. They need to have the same financial mindset as me as well. So to wrap this up, I struggle with that but I have set new standards. If they are not met, then I am not worried because I have goals and a future to build.
 

Thoelt53

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It’s all relationships.

If you want a line of credit, you’ll need a relationship with a bank. You’re going to have relationships with your customers, your employees, your manufacturer, your accountant, etc.

In these relationships, each party brings something to the table. Otherwise they don’t work.

Relationships with a significant other are no different. Either you both bring things to the table or the relationship fails.

Good relationships in all areas of life is what propels you forward. Nobody succeeds in a vacuum.

If you’re speaking in terms of chasing women for sex, that’s a different story and something you’ll outgrow. Or maybe not. Some people never do. However, successful people still operate the same. If the hook up relationship isn’t mutually beneficial, it ends and it’s on to the next one. Like anything else.

Distractions become a problem only when they consume you. Everyone has distractions. Can you refocus and push forward, or do you get consumed and held back?
 

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Andy Black

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So basically... We need to continue the same amount of energy we had at the start, throughout the entire relationship (what ever the relationship is)?
I’m careful of saying “we need” to do anything. It would be an amazing thing if we all worked as hard throughout relationships as we did at the start though.
 

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