Bringing me down

[Rem]

I figured with 2 lengthy novels under my belt and co-authoring a 3rd book I would get a different response from friends and family who continue to try and "reel" me back to reality and keep my goals at a more "realistic" level. I'm sick of it. I do ignore it but it doesn't go unnoticed.

Do I think big?

Sure.

I have set goals and accomplished them time and time again - where others have failed - yet I continue to receive SHIT and Diarrhea of the Mouth about how my goals are a bit unrealistic and I need to look at things more realistically.

I know I shouldn't allow myself to get down because of this. In most cases I don't, but it gets FRICKIN' OLD FAST FOLKS. I even had someone tell me now that I got my book writing out of my system to get out of the clouds and come back to reality and find a real job and actually earn a paycheck.

WTF is wrong with people?

I would never... and I mean NEVER... say this to another person.

They act like they're doing me a favor. Like they are saving me from myself. Is there anyone else here who has experienced this sort of behavior. Aside from repeatedly ignoring such uneducated drivel, what else can you do? I need and I want a better support system. I just don't have it. Everyone is working against me and wishes me to fall inline with a 9-5er rather than pursue my dreams.

It's like they want me to fail just to make themselves look good.

Okay... I got that off my shoulders for now. I just don't get people man. I want to inspire others, not drag them down into the mud where most of society resides...

*shakes head and walks off the stage*

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Luffy]

If I were you I would tell those people that only reason they want me to stop is because they're cowards who can't admit they're jealous. They're trying to drag you down so you should kick them in the face, my option will make you lose friends but considering how much it's bothering you, maybe it's for the best.

 

[MindWarrior]

"Wolves don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep"
-anonymous?

Just remember Rem, you are a wolf!

 

[EvanOkanagan]

Aside from repeatedly ignoring such uneducated drivel, what else can you do?

Why are these people still a part of your life?

Lose their number and don't hang out or associate with them, that's the easy answer. You're hanging with the wrong crowds...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mattie]

I just finished watching the movie Whiplash. I would watch it. I can relate to your experience and even this movie. Fortunately, those people won't ever stop no matter what you do. And one of the things I had to learn before even getting to the Fastlane was the same thing as this kid in the movie. And sucks! And I had to remember no matter how much the pain was there emotionally, mentally, and I was up against all odds, I had to shut it off.

What did I do? I meditated every day with self guided meditations/ motivational videos, music like Eminem, and fortunately, I didn't have any support system but maybe two people. And still is that way. It's my dream to be one of the greats. And fortunately, there are naysayers, fault finders, and emotional and mental abusers. I had to maintain that positive and motivational feed back to keep my mind focused on the goal. And not take my eyes off of it, and no matter what I was hearing, seeing, and experiencing, one day I would come out on the other side.

Life longer learner comes into play, and part of that process is having the mind of a navy seal or sports athlete, and no matter what obstacle is in your way become the problem solver instead of staring at the problem. While they are playing the Karpman Drama Triangle, you keep grinding and taking action. They're not willing to go the extra mile. They're not willing to do everything it takes to reach their full potential.

And fortunately whether I chose to or they chose too you have to sacrifice relationships. And sure, you look like the Villain. And that is their perception, because they don't have a path and direction. Most of the things I heard were all wrong and invalid. I trusted myself and even if I doubted sometimes, I still followed my path. And that's the thing people want to direct you everywhere they want you to go. I suppose you have to control cut the reigns emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

I could have given up plenty of times, and still I have moments where I do, but then like tonight I happen to watch that movie, and it inspires me to go the extra mile once again, because I have traveled to many roads already to get here. It reminded me of the greatest victory, not allowing others to manipulate my emotional and mental direction in life. That kind of shit is stressful, hurts, painful, and it does feel like you're bleeding inside at times. Knocked out, and every time you know to get back up. Drive with precision, get in the rhythm, feel it, breathe it, smell it, taste it, see it, and keep your vision every day by taking action to get there. It's easier said then done, and you have to combat the negative with the positive.

At the beginning of this journey we're naive and seeking approval and love from others. There comes a point where the lesson begins you don't need others love or approval to be your full potential. Basically they're playing the part to bring out that full potential. They don't know that is what they're doing, but their goal is the same for you to succeed, but they don't know the rules of the game. If you've come this far, keep learning the rules of the game, because it's quite different then the path they're taking. And M.J. already wrote that road map out for you somewhat.

Two things do happen. You either learn to stand up to your giants and fight back by doing what you have to do to get there, or they walk out because they give up and quit on you, because they believe they're right. Negative mindsets usually know it all even though they're wrong. And that is what I've figured out, and sure it sucks having to sacrifice, but at the same time, the victories come along, even if they're small ones at times.

It's a process and a journey and it's easy to give in to them and let them direct you to this job or that job, and even when you're in those jobs, it's still not good enough, or fast enough, and then they point you in five other directions, and by then you started five different jobs, started five different journeys, learned something, but never really taking you anywhere, but dead ends.

Their dead ends, their personal issues, their impatience, their negative mindsets, and really not your problem, but theirs. Most likely they don't know how to be emotionally or mentally tough themselves. And most likely they're not willing to take action. And hindsight in my own life, I can tell you, I wish when I was 18, I would have been courageous enough to go my own way. It was b.s. and today I know it.

The biggest part is fear. Fear of other people's disapproval. And frankly, bottom line, in the end, the people that you believe will help you, that you thought knew what they were talking about, and the one's you trust, won't pull through to the end. Example and influence is everything. And sure, they're lovely good people, with a good heart, and sometimes have the right intentions. To many people drive you down the wrong roads, and you can waste your whole life seeking approval and love and never gain it, because again if you look at the statistics of personalities of the greats, they're very small. Some people go half way, and some go all the way. Some are stronger then others. And it's really never about the money. It's about becoming the best you and full potential. And when you have become full potential then you can add value to the rest of humanity. The journey is very long and hard.

And like some quotes say, if it was easy everyone would be doing it. And everyone isn't doing it.

 

[AndrewNC]

figured with 2 lengthy novels under my belt and co-authoring a 3rd book I would get a different response from friends and family who continue to try and "reel" me back to reality and keep my goals at a more "realistic" level.

Are you doing everything you can to sell and market the current books you have out? Are they providing you an income? Before I was making an income, people thought I was crazy. I was crazy - I had many ideas but wasn't selling anything. Then when I started selling - people thought I was lucky and stopped trying to bring me back to reality.

 

[Rem]

@Mattie that was an awesome post and I really needed that!!!

Are you doing everything you can to sell and market the current books you have out? Are they providing you an income? Before I was making an income, people thought I was crazy. I was crazy - I had many ideas but wasn't selling anything. Then when I started selling - people thought I was lucky and stopped trying to bring me back to reality.

I am probably not doing everything I can but I have made some money, yes.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rem]

Why are these people still a part of your life?

I don't know. This has been a problem for a long time. It's not that I seek out these people's friendship, they just happen to be in my life (part of wife's family). They stop by, appear at family gatherings, etc.

 

[OVOvince]

if i were you, id drop my pants, turn around and moon those people

 

[Mattie]

my life (part of wife's family). They stop by, appear at family gatherings, etc.

You're welcome. This is another thing I learned. Never share your dreams and projects with naysayers and fault finders. There was 2011 until now I just didn't mention anything what I was doing at all. It just gives them information to twist around, or use as a verbal or mental weapon, and pull your emotions. Enough times of being sabotaged you just learn to keep it to yourself.

I remember this story. Even in the Olympics for the gold people can try to sabotage you.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[jlwilliams]

I have taken to keeping a lot to myself. I used to get more shit when I hadn't made any money, but it still comes out of mouths. In context of what I have done it blows my mind that people look at anything new I'm working toward as pipe dreams.

I have come to believe that it's just because they themselves are small minded, but WTF do I know.

 

[Unknown]

Write a book about annoying people trying to drag the main character down. Give them each a copy

 

[RogueInnovation]

A friend of mine said to me
"I've been watching you... Trying to understand this thing you do... Do or die... And after a long while thinking on it, I think I am starting to get it better"

He said that 2 years ago.
He watched me, purposefully go broke, sometimes starve, and go through sh#t that made him uncomfortable to watch.

Thats about the best you will get.
One day, he'll look at what I have, and he'll say "holy sh#t man... holy sh#t"



You might think having observers makes it easier.
But get this, when things were tough, he felt the same way as everyone else, told me to get a job etc.
And it hurt, of course.

But not because he said it, it hurt because, no matter who says it, that pressure is out there and right on your shoulders.


You are not responsible for handling their fears, just your own.
And to uphold the integrity of your choice, by never cheating, slacking, or breaking.
If you continue to hold up against it, eventually that pressure forms into weight in your voice, gravitas. You whisper and it hits people, shocks them a little. Your eyes are a little clearer and it catches their eye just a little easier. Your words are just a bit smoother, and people adjust in their seat a little more.

People trust, those whom they can trust.

An audience, whether it be for a book, or for another market, will not be moved from doubt, until they can feel in every part of who you are, that you can "take it".



These people, saying to you, "you can't take it", sting you, because you doubt.
Its a fierce place to be.

I remember it cutting me like glass as I struggled against that place.

But you don't have to win. You just have to not break.
If you keep holding through it, it starts to affect things.



My avatar is a dude drowning for a reason. But also notice how at peace he is.
You have to learn to stop chasing the surface.
You need to hold back from coming up for that big gulp of fresh air.

You need to keep centering yourself and holding through it.


Is it dangerous? Yes.



But if you decide your future and don't want to give it up, then, don't let the easy way tell you not to be brave.

Take care of yourself man. It will be rough. But hold on through it. It will feel lonely. But keep steady.


I do not chase the surface anymore, I let myself exist within the four walls of cr#p closing in.
Because like I heard in the walking dead
"nightmares end, don't let them end you"

Hold on bro. Keep that flame alive. No good ever comes from doing anything else.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DayIFly]

People like to stay in the comfort zone, to be comfortable. Your friends are around you, because they feel comfortable. If YOU change, it´s not the same anymore. Change means stress for them. They want it back like it was in the past.

Outgrowing friends is a natural process, I think. As your values and goals change, you become a new person and if this isn´t congruent anymore or it doesn´t make click, you have to move on.

 

[Rem]

Thanks everyone for their messages. It's a new day. Coffee is brewing, sun is shining, and I am thankful. I'm thankful for people on this forum, I am thankful for being able to live in a time period and place where I can pursue whatever I want, I am thankful to be alive. I am actually thankful for the naysayers as it means I must be making an impact, influencing those around me.

What truly matters is that I am doing what I love.

Now, here is the issue... I could begin to understand the naysayers in my family if my wife and children were starving and I couldn't afford to feed them and I rejected the idea of getting a job to feed them. This is not the case. We are doing fine.

Therefore, it's none of their business. I think because I am a stay at home dad they believe that every waking minute must be dedicated toward housekeeping and babysitting. Instead, I have found ways to pursue my dreams and do parenting at the same time. In fact, I believe it has been a great experience within the family. I have told people that when my kids grow up and leave the house, I don't want my kids to look back as kids and remember their father as a slug. I want them to remember their father as not only someone who cared for them but who also was driven and still pursued his own path.

I am a person who thinks differently than most parents. I don't feel trapped by my children as most parents do today. I believe a person can have children and still choose to do what they want. Kids are born into our world and must be taught how to survive so it is them who need to adapt. It makes for stronger and more responsible kids who are not so damn ENTITLED to everything.

 

[Mattie]

This is the interesting part. What most stay at home parents usually do: Cleaning, gossiping, social media, watching things on t.v. and kids are usually running around the neighborhood unsupervised because they don't want to be bothered and interrupted in their video game/program etc. Back in the day it was acceptable to stay home with your kids. Today you're lazy if you're not working, and sending them to day care for some stranger to raise.

Therefore, it's none of their business. I think because I am a stay at home dad they believe that every waking minute must be dedicated toward housekeeping and babysitting. Instead, I have found ways to pursue my dreams and do parenting at the same time. In fact, I believe it has been a great experience within the family. I have told people that when my kids grow up and leave the house, I don't want my kids to look back as kids and remember their father as a slug. I want them to remember their father as not only someone who cared for them but who also was driven and still pursued his own path.

This is the thing I've been bashed in every way as a parent because I raised my kid to have self-worth, didn't abuse him emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and because of our circumstances. Was it a blessing or a curse to be in my circumstances. I was home with my son, life was hell, we both stumbled at times under the pressure, were delayed, but one thing I can guarantee you, the only opinion that counts is your child's about parenting.

My son just triumphed on his biggest obstacle a week ago. I'm on the other side of the ocean and only communicate through the internet. While he's in your position with everyone bashing him about me and what he needs to do, I can say the Fastlane forum has even impacted him reaching that goal even if he's not directly on here. How, because I'm in here and surrounding myself with that small portion of the world that strives to be the best above the rest with the correct mindset. This mindset through my example, sharing my projects with him, him watching me acting and doing instead of joining the drama squad shows him where to focus and accomplish his goals.

He actually beat me, accomplishing his goal first. My goal of course is much bigger, but my example alone under pressure and stress has been teaching him to do the same. And like I already said, this kid has watched me move through something like Whiplash. And I suppose somehow, you're children see in the end the real success, and how it's made versus a lot of naysayers and fault finders doing nothing but creating more problems and obstacles, because they only know how to feed someone, not teach them how to fish, or sell fishing poles. Lots of people in the world know how to feed you b.s.

In my experience being in this forum has pointed out all the things I was taught wrong even in business as an entrepreneur. All the things they never taught me, left out, and it's disappointing to know I was always given the wrong information to succeed or told I was on the wrong path, or wasting my time. The biggest disappointment is when you have business people in your family, and know what it takes to get there, and tell you the steps are a waste of time. This really blows my mind. And it also tells you not to listen to people. They know life long learning is key, they know communication is, they know marketing, advertising is key. And fortunately when I left two of those people went along with someone that had no idea about any of that, and I suppose it's better to get along and fit in with the crowd and make someone stumble and fall. Family dynamics is a wonderful thing, everyone plays their part, pecking order, and I suppose I just may be one to rise above them all. I rebelled and refused to accept their lame advice I was in the wrong direction. Sometimes you just have to shut off the drama squad and rise above them regardless of the trash they're throwing at you.

Do they really want you to succeed, or just keep you in pecking order, and under power and control.

This is very correct. Stay in place, because you can never become more then the rest of us. So, lets make you completely filled with chaos and confusion and instill fear, and let's take everything away and show you for being so smart. And that's the car accident in Whiplash where you just keep going no matter what is said, or what other people do. Broken bones, blood, sweat, you just keep rolling forward.

I don't even waste my time wondering why people do stupid stuff anymore. I just focus on my goals and find like minded people. And no they're not bad people. They're just not the same breed obviously. The best thing happen and that is I moved away from them. It took me two years to come down off that stress, adrenaline, and abusive nature. And can move with ease, with precision, and focus. And my son is my motivation. If I win, he wins. And I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about the example, the journey, and process. Money will go up and down throughout life. The mental toughness, being a problem solver, and making right choices get you through everything.

He's 19. And perhaps good he's learning now. And twenty years from now, I hope I can look at my son and smile when he's forty and see him as a success and not down a hopeless broken down road. And the example goes on generation to generation. I suppose when you're with your children, understand you're the path cutter, taking the hits for them, and your grandchildren.

You're cutting out all the things that didn't work for past generations of your family. Planting new seeds for future generations. Let them shoot the arrows, but know it usually is crap. Anyone worth surrounding your life with is, the one's that push you to your full potential.

Love this song and video. A boy running away from monsters (Fears, anxiety, stress, those Villains, mindset). Jumping over obstacles to reach his destination. I suppose it's kind of scary in life on the way, but I suppose at the end we each reach out our goals and win our personal victory.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mineralogic]

I figured with 2 lengthy novels under my belt and co-authoring a 3rd book I would get a different response from friends and family who continue to try and "reel" me back to reality and keep my goals at a more "realistic" level. I'm sick of it. I do ignore it but it doesn't go unnoticed.

Do I think big?

Sure.

I have set goals and accomplished them time and time again - where others have failed - yet I continue to receive SHIT and Diarrhea of the Mouth about how my goals are a bit unrealistic and I need to look at things more realistically.

I know I shouldn't allow myself to get down because of this. In most cases I don't, but it gets FRICKIN' OLD FAST FOLKS. I even had someone tell me now that I got my book writing out of my system to get out of the clouds and come back to reality and find a real job and actually earn a paycheck.

WTF is wrong with people?

I would never... and I mean NEVER... say this to another person.

They act like they're doing me a favor. Like they are saving me from myself. Is there anyone else here who has experienced this sort of behavior. Aside from repeatedly ignoring such uneducated drivel, what else can you do? I need and I want a better support system. I just don't have it. Everyone is working against me and wishes me to fall inline with a 9-5er rather than pursue my dreams.

It's like they want me to fail just to make themselves look good.

Okay... I got that off my shoulders for now. I just don't get people man. I want to inspire others, not drag them down into the mud where most of society resides...

*shakes head and walks off the stage*

most people are dead inside and are not artists of any type.

 

[luniac]

I figured with 2 lengthy novels under my belt and co-authoring a 3rd book I would get a different response from friends and family who continue to try and "reel" me back to reality and keep my goals at a more "realistic" level. I'm sick of it. I do ignore it but it doesn't go unnoticed.

Do I think big?

Sure.

I have set goals and accomplished them time and time again - where others have failed - yet I continue to receive SHIT and Diarrhea of the Mouth about how my goals are a bit unrealistic and I need to look at things more realistically.

I know I shouldn't allow myself to get down because of this. In most cases I don't, but it gets FRICKIN' OLD FAST FOLKS. I even had someone tell me now that I got my book writing out of my system to get out of the clouds and come back to reality and find a real job and actually earn a paycheck.

WTF is wrong with people?

I would never... and I mean NEVER... say this to another person.

They act like they're doing me a favor. Like they are saving me from myself. Is there anyone else here who has experienced this sort of behavior. Aside from repeatedly ignoring such uneducated drivel, what else can you do? I need and I want a better support system. I just don't have it. Everyone is working against me and wishes me to fall inline with a 9-5er rather than pursue my dreams.

It's like they want me to fail just to make themselves look good.

Okay... I got that off my shoulders for now. I just don't get people man. I want to inspire others, not drag them down into the mud where most of society resides...

*shakes head and walks off the stage*

i encounter both. Some people have nothing but positive things to say which at least makes me feel better, others give me "friendly warning" that i should focus on improving at my job and get that handout raise, which just makes me disgusted...

 

[H. Palmer]

Thanks everyone for their messages. It's a new day. Coffee is brewing, sun is shining, and I am thankful. I'm thankful for people on this forum, I am thankful for being able to live in a time period and place where I can pursue whatever I want, I am thankful to be alive. I am actually thankful for the naysayers as it means I must be making an impact, influencing those around me.

What truly matters is that I am doing what I love.

Now, here is the issue... I could begin to understand the naysayers in my family if my wife and children were starving and I couldn't afford to feed them and I rejected the idea of getting a job to feed them. This is not the case. We are doing fine.

Therefore, it's none of their business. I think because I am a stay at home dad they believe that every waking minute must be dedicated toward housekeeping and babysitting. Instead, I have found ways to pursue my dreams and do parenting at the same time. In fact, I believe it has been a great experience within the family. I have told people that when my kids grow up and leave the house, I don't want my kids to look back as kids and remember their father as a slug. I want them to remember their father as not only someone who cared for them but who also was driven and still pursued his own path.

I am a person who thinks differently than most parents. I don't feel trapped by my children as most parents do today. I believe a person can have children and still choose to do what they want. Kids are born into our world and must be taught how to survive so it is them who need to adapt. It makes for stronger and more responsible kids who are not so damn ENTITLED to everything.

Thanks for being open and being an example.

Rep transferred.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[RogueInnovation]

I suppose when you're with your children, understand you're the path cutter, taking the hits for them, and your grandchildren.

You're cutting out all the things that didn't work for past generations of your family. Planting new seeds for future generations.

I really like that
Its an awesome way to look at it.

I don't even waste my time wondering why people do stupid stuff anymore. I just focus on my goals and find like minded people. And no they're not bad people. They're just not the same breed obviously.

Being cut of a different breed

Do they really want you to succeed, or just keep you in pecking order, and under power and control.

They are trying to escape the pain and consequences of their own judgementalism.
They see failure in others to avoid addressing it in themselves, and do so indiscriminantly.
It is the indiscriminant nature of it that most worries people, since it has no end point, no cut off date.

I say it all simpler, not all relationships last forever.
Sometimes, relationships become broken. Because they were never built strong enough for the truth.

And it is a common flaw, that people create weak relationships, and try to stiffle truth to hide it.


Whiplash:
The teacher creates a weak relationship, and the students uphold it, traumatising them.
But the main guy faces it.

Thats all good... But the teacher is still weak, struggling to have relationships with anyone, that has any meaning or truth.


Strangers and people you only kinda know are of course lazy and distant with relationships, and have virtually no integrity.
So it is important you just define your own space. And be confident in your direction.

 

[Mattie]

Sometimes, relationships become broken.

The sad part is they don't see it! Yesterday, I was talking to people back home. I think it's weird people like on this forum can evolve and walk out of the matrix and you'd think in two years being away from someone that they would at least have a moment where they thought about things, or learned something in the event, and why their relationship is broken. And for some reason it never clicks. It's always the other persons problem.

I think you just get used to the idea people choose to be broken and choose to be destructive in relationships. I think it was harder two years ago for me to understand you can do everything in your power to change and reach your full potential, but one factor remains. Other people aren't doing the same thing. It's two years later and I've changed just in one year from being on Fast lane. Whenever I cross paths online with friends etc. I see some are still in the same place as eight years ago in the same place today doing the same thing.

Really you can't go backwards once you're here. You have a rhythm and flow of just moving forward in life while the rest of the world is driving backwards in life.