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A rose by another name might smell like crap

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ThirtyOne

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Shakespeare had it wrong, the name matters.

He was talking about romantic partners and not brand names, but even a girl in love is gonna hesitate to marry a guy whose last name is "Balls".

So while a company name might not be as important as the customer service, the solid product/service you provide, and the need you fill, a BAD NAME can hurt the customer experience, even if they otherwise love you.

Credentials: I've worked for hire as a Professional Namer. Yeah, it's a thing. I've worked with big brands like Google and Doritos to come up with new product names.

Here are some rules to follow in naming your brand or product:

-Make sure it spells like it sounds

TOO MANY companies violate this rule (I'm looking at you XanGo), and they waste precious time spelling it out for people.

CUSTOMER: So I just go to your website to order?
AGENT: Yeah. Xango.com
CUSTOMER: Okay, how do you spell that?
AGENT: It's like "mango" but with an "x".
CUSTOMER: "m-a-n-g-o-x"?
AGENT: No. Sorry, "x-a-n-g-o".
CUSTOMER: "x-a-n-g-o". Ahhh, I get it: "mango but with an 'x'".
AGENT: Bingo.
CUSTOMER: wait...so an "i" not and "a"?
AGENT: Damn it.


Multiply the above conversation by every phone call and in-person meeting you'll ever have and you'll wish you weren't so clever when you changed that "z" to an "x" years ago at the beginning.

-Keep it short and it'll last long

Short names travel well. This gives you flexibility to place it in various locations on social and physical media.

For example, it's kinda hard to fit I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on a small business card or email address (thirtyone@icantbelieveitsnotbutter.com), which means that people WILL abbreviate your brand name, which WILL weaken your brand name.

I'm betting that all internal communications at I Can't Believe (yikes) are shortened to ICBINB, rendering it a meaningless sequence of letters. Way to steal your own thunder.

-Make it unique and avoid descriptors

Google. Nike. Apple.

Pretty unique names in their industries, which makes them sticky and easy to remember. I mean, I've never heard of a tech company named Billion, or a shoe company named Zeus or Hercules. How about a computer company named Carrot?

Come out with a clothing company tomorrow named Chocolate Milk and you'd have an easy-to-remember name.

Of course, the value you provide will really make your name sticky. Hence, Google, Nike, and Apple will never be forgotten.

Descriptors kill any memorability, because our brains categorize descriptive words differently from pronouns or names. How many words do we have for "great"? "amazing", "good", "exceptional", "big", "grand", and on and on. How many words do we have for "carrot"? One.

The over-simple reason for this is that nouns are used objectively in language, and adjectives are subjective. You and I can talk about a carrot and we won't argue about whether or not it's a carrot, but we can argue for hours about whether or not that carrot is great, good, etc.

So, a name like Great Clips could easily be misremembered as Best Buzzes or Hot Haircuts or Clean Cuts. Of course, Great Clips is a big enough brand that they overcome that issue despite the potential weakness in the name.

-BONUS: Try to make sure your immediate reaction is visceral

Don't make people THINK about your name, because they won't. We have so many brands advertised to us EVERYDAY that our brains are great at tuning them out.

One way to do this is to borrow equity.

Many words have equity or meaning in the zeitgeist. For example, it's subtle, but Google gives connotations of a huge number or amount of something, making it feel big. And the company lives up to its name.

There's a manicure company in the Castro in San Francisco that wanted to snatch up the male market, but it's admittedly difficult to get most men to walk into a store that's says Nails or Beauty above the door.

Thus, Hand Job was born.

Conversely, you've got names like Analtech, a company that sells chromatography plates. They meant to combine the words "analytical" and "technology". If you go to their website, you can see that they have the name still but made it as small as possible. I wonder why.

That's all for now. There's more to naming, but thems the ones I can think of off the top.

And of course, come up with 100 names before you chose one, because by now you should be able to answer "What's in a name?"

It's a lot.
 
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Hsiev tvagg. Raitvoup:

Jux fu zua djuuti civxiip e siem (fodvoupesz) peni, epf tunivjoph zua'wi dupdudvif. Gus iyenqmi, og O xepv vu dsievi e tudoem nifoe qjuvu tjesoph eqq epf O'n vjoploph ug: "QjuvuTjesi" wt. "Optvehsen". Xjip qiuqmi xepv e qjuvu tjesoph eqq, jux fu vjiz ipf-aq ev Optvehsen't tovi xjip Huuhmi tjuamf quvipvoemmz quopv vjin vu "QjuvuTjesi" cetif-up vjios tiesdj?

Puv tasi og nz raitvoupt ot dmies...
 
Gus iyenqmi, og O xepv vu dsievi e tudoem nifoe qjuvu tjesoph eqq epf O'n vjoploph ug: "QjuvuTjesi" wt. "Optvehsen". Xjip qiuqmi xepv e qjuvu tjesoph eqq, jux fu vjiz ipf-aq ev Optvehsen't tovi xjip Huuhmi tjuamf quvipvoemmz quopv vjin vu "QjuvuTjesi" cetif-up vjios tiesdj?

Puv tasi og nz raitvoupt ot dmies...

O'wi nipvoupif vji wemai ug e csepf peni imtixjisi. Vji ofie ot vjev qiuqmi xomm tiesdj gus "qjuvu tjesoph eqq" vufez, epf zua dep juqi zuas eqq tjuxt aq enuph e motv ug 100 uvjis tonomes eqqt, US og zua jewi csepf siduhpovoup (moli Optvehsen), qiuqmi tloq tiesdjoph gus "qjuvu tjesoph eqq" epf katv tiesdj gus "Optvehsen".

Vjev niept vji tiesdjist xuamf jewi vu jies ecuav zuas csepf imtixjisi epf vjev't xjisi quxisgam neslivoph dunit op.

O'n puv tasi jux Optvehsen huv vu vji vuq, cav O lpux vjiz xisi upi ug vji gostv eqqt xjuti tumi qasquti xet "qjuvut et e tudoem nifoan". Cioph gostv jimqt cideati xjip qiuqmi fu tiesdj "qjuvu tjesoph eqq" zua esi upi ug vji gix vjev jewi vjuti tqidogod veht ettudoevif xovj zuas eqq.

Uvjisxoti ov't veshivif ef tqipfoph, opgmaipdis qesvpistjoqt, tu up epf tu gusvj.
Jux fu zua djuuti civxiip e siem (fodvoupesz) peni, epf tunivjoph zua'wi dupdudvif.

Neloph aq e peni ot ULEZ, et muph et ov gummuxt vji ecuwi samit, qesvodamesmz vji CUPAT sami, ONU. Optvehsen ot e nefi-aq xusf, cav ov xuslt cideati ov lopfe cussuxt iraovz gsun "optvepv" epf "hsen", neloph zua vjopl ug ep optvepv, qistupemobif nittehi. Ov't "giim huuf" (xju fuitp'v xeppe hiv qistupem nittehit?) epf jet nadj nusi qistupemovz vjep vji tvisomi "QjuvuTjesi" xjodj lopfe jet pu inuvoupem iraovz.

Og zua dep dsievi e qutovowi inuvoupem sitqupti vu zuas peni, nefi aq us uvjisxoti, zua'wi huv tunivjoph.
 
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Epemvidj.. MUM

Sohjv??

Gus gap jisi esi e gix nusi siem dunqepoit xovj apgusvapevi penit:
-Xuph Fuufz (ov't vji uxpist' siem metv penit). Gusvapevimz, vjiz sinuwif vji DIU't peni, cideati ov't Xiopis. Vjiz esi ep ef ehipdz uav ug Tievvmi.
-Juulis Gaspovasi (eheop, uxpis't metv peni). Vjiz timm gaspovasi puv qsudasif gsun qsutvovavit.
-Nuspoph Xuuf Gaspovasi. Xjev't xovj vjiti gaspovasi dunqepoit??? O apfistvepf og zua'si vszoph vu ci ifhz, cav vjiz esip'v.
-Cefdudl Gaspovasi. Ulez, ipuahj xovj vji gaspovasi tvusit. O nutvmz qutvif vjot upi tu zua dep tii vjev nz gostv dmeon ecuav e hosm jitovevoph vu veli e fafi't peni otp'v iyehhisevif. Vjot upi ot vji uxpis't metv peni.
-Qjesvsupodt Iphopiisoph "Tu, zua'wi ciip fevoph uas feahjvis gus e xjomi pux, VjosvzUpi. Cigusi ov hivt vuu tisouat, O xepv vu lpux zua dep qsuwofi. Xjisi fu zua xusl?"

"Ajjj...O'n ajj...NdFupemft."

Uj, epf gus e cupat, EPUVJIS SAMI:

Vjopl ug jux zuas peni xomm xusl op ASM gusn. Gus iyenqmi, xjev fu zua vjopl vji gummuxoph tovi uggist et e tiswodi?

jvvq:// xxx. vjiseqotvgopfis. dun/
 
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Vjopl ug jux zuas peni xomm xusl op ASM gusn. Gus iyenqmi, xjev fu zua vjopl vji gummuxoph tovi uggist et e tiswodi?

jvvq:// xxx. vjiseqotvgopfis. dun/

O niep....og vjev jet jeqqipif vu tuniupi, e vjiseqotv duamf ci e huuf piyv tviq.

Epf ov jet ciip tjesif tu nepz vonit et ep iyenqmi funeop cuvj op ifadevoupem epf ninif tivvopht...emm ug vjev TIU mopl kaodi....

Cz vji muult ug ov, vji uxpis ug vji funeop ot sipvoph ov uav vu e mudem cob.

Up e simevif puvi...

Jux nadj fuit vji tvusz/niepoph cijopf vji peni nevvis?
 
Epf ov jet ciip tjesif tu nepz vonit et ep iyenqmi funeop cuvj op ifadevoupem epf ninif tivvopht...emm ug vjev TIU mopl kaodi....

O vjuahjv ov xet ev mietv mittis lpuxp vjep vji apgusvapevi qipotmepf .piv , qaswizus ug qipt... O juqi.

Jux nadj fuit vji tvusz/niepoph cijopf vji peni nevvis?

Tvusoit jewi vu ci vumf vu ci xusvj epzvjoph. Tu, puv ataemmz nadj, op nz uqopoup, apmitt zua jewi e siemmz quxisgam tvusz epf ov qisnievit emm zuas neslivoph.

Vunt Tjuit jewi pu tvusz cijopf vji peni Vun vjev O'n exesi ug, cav xi emm lpux vjios tvusz epf ov't e dunqimmoph upi: caz e qeos ug tjuit epf xi'mm howi e qeos vu tuniupi op piif.
 
Optvehsen ot e nefi-aq xusf, cav ov xuslt cideati ov lopfe cussuxt iraovz gsun "optvepv" epf "hsen", neloph zua vjopl ug ep optvepv, qistupemobif nittehi.

O piwis siemotif apvom zuas dunnipv vjev Optvehsen xet e qmez up vji xusf vimihsen.

O duamfp'v iwip vimm zua gus tasi xjev e vimihsen ot xovjuav huuhmoph ov, nadj mitt jewi vjev duni vu nopf xjip O tii vji peni Optvehsen.
 
O piwis siemotif apvom zuas dunnipv vjev Optvehsen xet e qmez up vji xusf vimihsen.

O duamfp'v iwip vimm zua gus tasi xjev e vimihsen ot xovjuav huuhmoph ov, nadj mitt jewi vjev duni vu nopf xjip O tii vji peni Optvehsen.
O'f ci tasqsotif og zua fofp'v ev mietv lpux vjev e vimihsen xet e gusn ug nittehoph.

Epf vjip vjisi't "qsuhsen" (niepoph qacmod xsovoph/nittehi), "Djsotvnet hsen", "depfz hsen".

Ov't quttocmi zua huv ov wotdisemmz us tacduptdouatmz.
 
E lopfe simevif vjsief. Dasouat xjev zua vjopl ug nz vjoploph:

Tumof qutv. Emm vjev tvagg't qsivvz pix vu ni, cav ov nelit e VUP ug tipti. O niep, vji dupvsum ug vji TISQ siem itvevi emupi ot qsivvz xusvj ov. O vimm, zua vji nusi O miesp ecuav "pix nifoe", vji nusi O vjopl ov't tonomes vu "umf nifoe".

Qehi 1 ug e huuhmi tiesdj ot moli jewoph e commcuesf op Vonit Traesi.

O fu jewi e gummux aq raitvoup up vjev vjsief, cvx.

Vji funeop peni dep neli tadj e foggisipdi vu vji dmodl-vjsuahj-sevi op ep ef up Huuhmi.

O ehsii. Funeop penit dep figopovimz jimq dmodl-vjsuahj. O emtu vjopl vjev vjiz dep jimq vji uwisemm datvunis iyqisoipdi.

Gus iyenqmi, O jef ep ofie gus e pevasem ipishz fsopl vjev't txiivipif xovj yzmovum xjodj dunit gsun cosdj vsiit. Vji qsufadv peni xuamf ci Cosdj Tmeq. Vji asm duamf ci cosdjtmeqni. dun . Csepfoph xuamf ci ifhz epf gap, e me Tpodlist dunnisdoem denqeohp mevimz ("Jiz Noli, zua ciduni Civvz Xjovi xjip zua'si japhsz). Muvt ug "zua piif e cosdj tmeq" canqis tvodlist, txeh, ivd.


O muwi zuas voqt op vjev vjsief gus qiuqmi. Juxiwis, e peni xovj e wotdisem us inuvoupem sitqupti gus vji datvunis jimqt howi zua ep ifhi uwis vji dunqivovoup. O xetp'v vuu liip up vji peni viwilu, gus vjev sietup.

Cetif up jot samit vu ci siem itvevi sipvem/cazoph simevif, O xuamf'wi tahhitvif e asm moli juatinehpiv.dun

Uvjisxoti, O nohjv hu xovj tunivjoph e movvmi nusi gmiyocmi.
 
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O muwi zuas voqt op vjev vjsief gus qiuqmi. Juxiwis, e peni xovj e wotdisem us inuvoupem sitqupti gus vji datvunis jimqt howi zua ep ifhi uwis vji dunqivovoup. O xetp'v vuu liip up vji peni viwilu, gus vjev sietup.

Cetif up jot samit vu ci siem itvevi sipvem/cazoph simevif, O xuamf'wi tahhitvif e asm moli juatinehpiv.dun

Uvjisxoti, O nohjv hu xovj tunivjoph e movvmi nusi.
Ehsiif. E funeop peni xovj e puf vu vji wisvodem jimqt nadj civvis.

Viwilu ot e "tvesvaq" peni... jeje. Ov emmuxt vjin vu "qowuv" opvu tunivjoph dunqmivimz foggisipv. Miepmz.
 
Ehsiif. E funeop peni xovj e puf vu vji wisvodem jimqt nadj civvis.

Viwilu ot e "tvesvaq" peni... jeje. Ov emmuxt vjin vu "qowuv" opvu tunivjoph dunqmivimz foggisipv. Miepmz.
huvdje. Hiv vji cemm summoph, fup'v miv medl ug peni hiv op vji xez ug qsuwofoph wemai.
 
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