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GOLD! Worried Dad - Need "Fastlane" Insight

Let my son live with us while he quits his job and starts a business?


  • Total voters
    63
  • Poll closed .

jon.a

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I voted with the majority so far, yes but.

First, I applaud your coming here and facing what might have been a bunch of evil internet dreamers for all that you knew.

Next be the Dad. Don't let him reach for the easy button. He probably doesn't need to quit the job today. He needs a plan. It needs to make sense. He needs to be able to convey it to you in an easily understood message. If you were open to come here, you're likely open to hearing his plan.

There should be rules, not yours, not his, but agreed upon rules. All the answers are deep within this forum. It's his job to find them not yours.
 

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Determined2012

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I wish Vigilante was my Dad! That was an awesome post you made. You too Esquire.

I think that you should embrace your son and give him an opportunity to pursue his truest desire for his life. What an amazing gift that is to be able to give someone.

I think MJ said the best thing which was do it, but under the contingency that he has to maintain a job until he gets the customers to sustain replacing that job.

You can give your son a chance that is rare for many who go down the path he wants to go- without the help of Mom or Dad. Your help will provide him with a better chance to succeed, because he will have housing security, which will be a big relief for him and he can seriously focus so hard on getting his business going.

I think you should talk to him and work it out. This might be the best thing that happened for your whole family. You will never know what could be though, if you don't try it.


You can also say he has 2 or 3 years deadline, and then its back to the table to see what needs to happen next. Is he on track to succeeding, or is he just spinning his wheels.

Do it! I think you will. Your son is young and on the right track. He wants to make good choices in his young life. Support him and show him you believe in him. That will have a big impact on him and he will probably work even harder to succeed, just knowing his Dad believes in him and what he wants for his life.
 

Entrepreneur99

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This thread really makes me think.... I don't want to be selfish by talking about myself here. but I'm going to anyway. I am the son minus 7 years. I'm 18, on a gap year and my parents have paid £40k for a private education and I want nothing more than to make them proud. I'm currently working part time for free at my father's busy fabrication business which I see as a great opportunity to see first hand how a business is run. In essence I either start a business within this next year with real profits and scalability (I know how extremely unlikely this is and don't consider myself to be naive here, but I am doing everything to put the odds in my favor, and IF I fail I know the year will absolutely NOT have been wasted) or I will be coerced, although my parents are very supportive, into attending university and racking up a nice £15k debt per year for a piece of paper I will absolutely try my hardest to avoid using at all. I'm not one of those deluded people who tells themselves I WILL be successful in the future at starting a business, but god damn if I don't put every fiber of my being into escaping the dreaded 9-5 I will never forgive myself. I guess this was sort of a release for me, sorry if you see this as inappropriate but I had to get this off my chest and this thread seemed like a place where people can guide me, my decisions have extreme horsepower at this age don't you know!
 

twdavis

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I've never had a father figure around, he's been gone for my entire life.

However, I've always wondered what it would be like to have one and just judging from his posts, I gotta say I really think @Vigilante would be an ideal father I would want.
 

Formless

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I'd be a much better human being if my dad (was around) believed in me.

I have no advice for you because I'm a kid myself, I just posted here to applaud your open-mindedness. It's great that you are willing to reach into what is essentially the enemy's doorstep (since originally, you were/are opposed to entrepreneurship)

Who knows, in an attempt to help him shape his life, you might end up re-shaping your own. Once you read TMF you're unlikely to look at the world the same way again.
 
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WorriedDad

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WOW. Blown away by the replies here.

At first I really was wondering if this was a troll. Reading through the words I believe it is just a father that really loves his son and wants the best for him.
I can assure you, I did not mean to come off as an a$$ or a troll. Just venting the frustrations with my son. I had to work two jobs to put myself through night law school, all while being a newlywed, so it is hard to listen to his point of view at times. The corporate ladder is what has provided for his family all of these years. I’ve never had an entrepreneurial mindset (or desire), so this is where you guys have been extremely helpful.

I do have to admit, however, that after reading the advice I have received here as a person and parent, I have a newfound respect for the countless hours my son has spent on here. MJ, much respect for what you have created. A community like this is extremely hard (impossible?) to find “offline,” and arguably just as hard online.

I don't understand why so many people on this forum are in such a rush to quit their job. There are plenty of hours left in the day to work on a business.
I concur. For my son, he looks at a job as an eternal life sentence. He says he feels trapped in a job, and by the time he gets home and works out, he doesn't have any energy left. In my opinion, the people who are going to be successful are going to find a way.

Interesting topic.

Like you (Dad) ... I too am a practicing attorney. 43 years old. Joined the Marine Corps to put myself through law school.
....
If you have not read the book ... you really should.
Thank you for the great advice. I have not yet had a chance to read the book, but my son has tried many times to get me to read it. I will soon.

Well the vote is in and I'm a man of my word. He can quit and live with us. However, he has to provide solid evidence that he has:

A) A customer
B) Picked a scalable and profitable idea
C) Enough funds to carry the business from idea to profit

Otherwise, he will be looking for a new job (and apartment).
And now, to casually leave my laptop sitting conveniently in the middle of the living room…… :tiphat:
 

SteveO

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I concur. For my son, he looks at a job as an eternal life sentence. He says he feels trapped in a job, and by the time he gets home and works out, he doesn't have any energy left. In my opinion, the people who are going to be successful are going to find a way.
Yes. I had kids at home, worked a full time job as a manager at HP, and worked out daily. It was important enough for me that I spent three years of nights and weekends researching and starting my apartment investment business. It was among the happiest days of my life when I met my goal and quit my job. That was 15 years ago.

I agree with you and the other posters. He needs to work hard and smart.
 

Unknown

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Yes. I had kids at home, worked a full time job as a manager at HP, and worked out daily. It was important enough for me that I spent three years of nights and weekends researching and starting my apartment investment business. It was among the happiest days of my life when I met my goal and quit my job. That was 15 years ago.

I agree with you and the other posters. He needs to work hard and smart.
I'm with SteveO on this (minus the working out part :-D). We have a newborn baby. I work from 8-5 as does my wife. I pack boxes during my lunch hour (or after work). I stay up late on work nights to talk to my contacts in China. Nobody wants to go to work for someone else, but you've got to do what you've got to do.
 

CashFlowDepot

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Both my kids are in their early 30s. I can tell you from personal experience that you are not helping him by letting him stay home. He will acheive success and become financially independent much faster if he is on his own.

If you let him quit his job and stay home now my guess is that he will be still be living with you when he is 30 or even 35. Living with you is so much easier than the REAL WORLD.

At 25, it's time to grow up and be personally responsible.

If he wants to start a business bad enough, he will do what ever it takes to make it happen. Including working 8 hours at a job then working 8 more hours to get his business going so he can quit the job. He may need to take some classes to learn new skills.

He should not quit his job until he has STEADY income from his business. One sale is not enough.

With no idea what he wants his business to be, no web site, no plan, no sales funnel, he has little chance of being successful within the next 12 months.

Once he has a general idea of what he wants to do, what niche, he needs to either write a little e-book or hire someone to write it for him. Then start giving it away on his web site and facebook page to start building a list. His list are his potential customers he can sell something to. But that's not enough. He needs to figure how how he can turn one customer in to a life time customer. How will he get more customers? What's the plan?

He may find that no one wants the book or that he does not know how to drive traffic. That means the business is doomed to fail.

Some start-ups fail because they did not have a good plan to succeed. Others fail because there was no market for their product/service to begin with. So he needs to TEST the market before he spends much money. Testing takes time. He should keep his job while he is testing. If he hates this job, get a different job.

Take $3000 of that $35,000 to help him buy an old mobile home to live in. Yes, you can buy old mobile homes for $3000 or even less. I have bought many for less than $1000. He will need to pay lot rent but it should be less than $200 a month + his utilities. This will still be much cheaper than an apartment. When he gets fed up with living in a mobile home park he will work harder to get in to a better living situation (not at your house)

(analogy when he gets fed up with the Datsun and wants to get a Land Rover, he will bust his butt to make it happen)

Most of the businesses I started cost far less than $5000 up front. There is no magic number that you need to start a business. But he should not keep throwing money at something that has no track record. Don't let him waste $35,000 on a start-up business.

Staying with you is also hurting YOUR future. You can't save as much as you normally would for your retirement. You don't have the freedom you should have with your kids out of the house.

We all want the best for our kids and it's tempting to let him stay home. But the best thing you can do is get him out on his own. Do not offer him monetary bribes. Offer to be a sounding board for his ideas but not the bank.
 

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CashFlowDepot

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HOLD ON! Before you make up your mind to let your son stay at home or not, you need to realize that probably the majority of people who voted were people 25 or younger who would love to quit their job then freeload off Mom and Dad while they "find themselves"

The poll is not an accurate read and should not be used to make your decision.
 
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ZCP

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@WorriedDad pickup a copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad. should be a quick 1 night read. will shed a lot of perspective on the two camps of thinking that you and your son are in...... it was the red pill, blue pill moment for me as well....... you may then begin to work together ..... your experience and contacts with his labor time on task could be a good combination...... my sons are 9 and 12 and help with their time in my businesses .... am teaching them 'why' I do what I do and letting them make the choice....
 

healthstatus

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Bill Gate's parents cried after they got off the phone and he told them he was dropping out of school to start a business, and knew he would never amount to anything and his life was ruined. (Bill didn't move home and had a sale at that point)

As a corporate ladder climber, you certainly realize certain things regarding your advancement and your pay were totally out of your control, you don't have those restrictions working for yourself.

If a dead end job "exhausts" your son, he is not ready to run his own business, exhaustion is not fully understood until you have a baby that won't sleep or bootstrap a business for a year or two. Also, there are other jobs, he could find one closely related to the business he is interested in starting, (a supplier, a customer, the same consumer base) and learn a ton before he spends a dime of his own money. (if he is living at home then the hourly rate isn't important, the education will be invaluable).

I disagree with the your rules/his rules thing other people have suggested. It is your house, it is your provision, your sacrifice, you make any agreement between the two of you. Having him layout a detailed plan that is his own, would be a good thing.
 

pickeringmt

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Man, this thread is great. Tons of great perspectives here - most of which run way deeper than where it started.

To me, the most important thing has to be that your son is totally committed to making this happen. If that is the case, the circumstances will hardly matter. The only thing that throws up a flag for this to me is the fact that he seems to be totally disgusted by his current situation, but doesn't really have anything to show he is taking actual steps towards getting his business going.

A shitty job can be incredible motivating for someone trying to get there business moving. I have bootstrapped my business from nothing while working full time at a job that makes me want jump into a wood-chipper every day. It makes me grateful to have a business to work on.

Granted, my situation is different - I have less savings, a mortgage, two young children, and no parents to fall back on.

If it was me, I would probably quit my job at this point - but it isn't just me.

I guess all I am trying to say is don't let your son give anything less than 100%.

Push your son forward, don't try to push him up.
 

GrensonMan

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I have some strong opinions about this very topic, hopefully my response can be of some help. For reference I am 26,

I graduated with an Engineering degree back in May 2012. Thus far I have taken the typical path of the slowlaner but I have had an exit strategy in mind. That strategy was to work in corporate America for 2 years, save as much money as possible, then use the cash flow from my current job as a way to prime my startup for success. I travel extensively for work, so I ditched the apartment and now live at home on the weekends or stay with other family. That has allowed me to save ~$92, 000 dollars. I can't tell you how much having a home rent free has helped me in achieving my goal of saving as much cash as possible. That being said, I won't quite my job until my startup is up and running and can support the burden of paying a salary that is livable. I don't like my job at all, but it is a means to an end and provides me with the financial tools necessary to pursue my business.

My advice to you would be support your son in his efforts but support him in the right way. Tell him that he can continue to live at home, as long as he gets a job making some money. He can use his free time in the evenings and on the weekends to flesh out the details of his business. This is how you are supporting your son in his entrepreneurial pursuits. If he is serious about wanting to start a company, then he will see the wisdom in your offer, If he doesn't, then frankly in my opinion he isn't anywhere near ready to start a business .

Your insight about friends paying their dues is what I call comparative advantage. They all have experience in an area and realized their was a need to fill or an inefficiency that could be improved on etc. MJ possessed comparative advantage because he worked in the Limo business for a time before he realized there was an unfulfilled need. In my opinion, most people don't have these realizations unless they work some form of labor.

So in closing I say, make a deal with your son. Let him live at home if he pursues a job. If he is serious about starting a company this will be a great litmus test of his fortitude. Hope this helped.
 

Lone Wolf

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Definitely support him all the way and let him live with you while he pursues his entrepreneurial ambitions. I'm young like your son, and I've had huge amounts of support from my dad, so I feel I need to say that it really does make so much more of a difference while pursuing your dreams if you know you've got the support of your family behind you.

In regards to what you said "follows his dreams of *hopefully* becoming a successful entrepreneur", just take a look at the alternative, he could be forced to NOT follow his dreams, then live with regret thinking 'what if', just so he can *hopefully* retire rich and not die or be bedridden before he's able to reap the rewards (as suggested; read TMF).

Although, that support might involve tough love, if he's going to live with you he needs to be being productive every day and getting closer and closer to obtaining his goals.
 

smarty

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I assume based on your description that your son will read this thread.

Understand that failure is part of the learning process of life and entrepreneurship. Rather than being critical or overly concerned of that being a possibility, you are in a unique position to coach him through life's difficulties.

His life is not going to pattern after your life. The crossroads you are at right now are more critical than simply his career path. Should you choose to throw him out on his a$$ simply because he's not following the path that you did… Could have permanent and irrevocable consequences on your relationship with him forever. Is it worth that to you to win a philosophical argument over his career path?

Be his champion. Be his sounding board. Help him think through the pros and cons of the path that he is on. Support him whether he wins or loses. In so doing, you'll maintain a relationship with your son that will transcend whatever the outcome is of his decisions. Be there as his champion whether he wins or loses. Be there to pick him up if he falls and help him climb back up off the ground again.

He might turn out to be the next Bill Gates. You don't know at this point. He also might crash and burn, which point he will need his mom and dad more than ever. Don't risk losing what you have in a son simply because his life trajectory is different than you hoped it would be.
@Vigilante is spot on. I don't talk to my dad either.
Many issues, many years wasted trying to keep up with his f*cked up mindset and trying to put me down in subtle ways. I finally dropped the ball. I don't think I'm gonna talk to him anytime soon.
Of course I would like and need his support and peace of mind from that side but as Mike said,sometimes you just have to cut off poisonous people.
In many ways whoever doesn't let you feel free, even when they can, is poisonous and creates uneasiness. I'm 27.
 

TedLax

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Hey All, I am a new poster here, been reading the forum since I read TMFL about a year ago (which I recommend to anyone who even says the word "business book")

I am 28 and started my own venture 18 months ago. I had worked a few corporate style jobs since I graduated from college from 21-27 y/o.

I used to coach lacrosse on the side for nothing, just loved doing it now that my playing days are over. One day, I decided to "start" my business while I was still at my job. I wrote an email to 25 of my closest parents who had kids in lacrosse that I had coached the few years prior. I basically said, "I am starting my own lacrosse training business and taking on my first wave of clients for private and semi-private group lessons, please let me know if you are interested". 10 of those 25 said yes they wanted to be a part of it. I picked the day, time, and location it was going to happen and created a registration form with an address to send the check. A few weeks later, I had my first group of 14 kids (some of those 10 brought a friend), about $4000 in the bank, while still in my job. I knew from that point, I could do it. Two weeks before my first training session, I quit my corporate job as the time for training was going to conflict with work hours (and I was looking for any way out). Things have only been going up since.

I was able to do this without my parents knowing. When I did tell them I left my job, They were astonished and worried, but after the initial shock they have supported me every day since. I do not live with them, I live with a wife was also in my court and told me to go for it when I first started out. That is invaluable to starting a business.

I guess the final points are:

1. Having someone, anyone, but especially family, on-board in building a business is the best thing anyone can have IMO.
2. Getting that first sale and going out and delivering on it is a critical step.
3. Having 35k in savings is almost 8x more than I had - so I feel that is enough, especially if he isn't paying rent. And he will need this as his business begins to operate for all the unforseen expenses he will have.
4. I did not have a detailed plan, I took something I was good at and passionate about, knew there was a need for in my area, and "sold it" before I "created" it. This may not work in all situations, but it did for me.

Support your son, my relationship with my father has grown through learning how to be in business (he owns his own business), and now he is actually making a monetary investment in me to take the next big step. He supported my decision and said while he didn't necessarily agree with my decision, he had my backside covered just in case. That was extremely important to me getting to where I am at now.

With the support however, I love the other posters in here saying to go prove his idea by making his first sale and delivering on the product. At that point, he will know if he is really interested in the grind of entrepreneurship. These 18 months have been the hardest, scariest, but most rewarding of my life. I say feed his itch, but help him set some goals/milestones to "prove it"

Best,
Ted
 

Mattie

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Jobs keep the food on the table. The lights stay on. The bills get paid while the Fast Lane Empire rises. It's a journey! A process! And I can tell you a lot of learning, growing, and developing. Do what you have to do. Failure really is the only way to learn, but if you listen to your dad, you'll probably get there a heck of a lot faster to the Fast Lane.
 

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The-J

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In my culture, it's very common for kids to live at home at 25, 30 even. Rent-free... but only if they're 'learning or earning'.

Can't really speak on what you should do here but you've gotten some excellent responses.
 

Nomoreflying

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I know this isn't a parenting forum, but I've noticed my son browsing this forum regularly for a couple years now and was hoping the veteran entrepreneurs here could give some insight into his (our) situation. I don't want to embarrass him, so I won't reveal his username. :rolleyes:

My son is 25. He graduated from college with a degree in marketing two years ago after much prodding and bribery from me and his mother (he wanted to drop out and focus only on his "start-up"). Upon graduation, his internship turned into a full-time marketing position at a small start-up. That business failed a year and a half later, so he recently moved back home with us while he looked for another job in our city. The job search really didn't go as planned, so he is now working in a customer service role in a large corporation, and he despises it. He keeps telling us he wants to start his own business and quit the job, but my career has consisted of climbing a corporate ladder as an attorney (a mind-numbing life suck according to him), so my advice thus far has been to "find a better job before you get fired for your attitude." He doesn't want to find another job and only wants to start a company. We've argued back and forth for about 2 months about this, so I am assuming he wants our blessing to start this company.

His life savings consists of almost $35,000. He thinks this is enough to just quit his job and start a company without having a steady income. I don't know about all of the latest web start-up success stories, but all of the very successful entrepreneurs I personally know started their businesses after "paying their dues" in the corporate world for a while and saving much more than this. Should he quit his job and start this business (he hasn't even "picked an idea yet"), he will have to stay living with us. He tried starting an online business while in college, but it failed due to his lack of discipline and determination (and being too scared to pick up the phone and call businesses).

When asked what business he wants to start, he presented me with a list of about 30 business ideas, all of which have "Fastlane potential." Without a solid business plan and his lack of trying to find a better job first, part of me wants to kick his butt out of the house if he quits without finding another job. Don't get me wrong, some of his ideas are pretty decent, but his mother and I really want him to stay in the corporate world for at least 5 more years. Maybe it's because we're his parents, but he just doesn't seem ready to us. He's 25 and can do whatever the hell he pleases, but while he is living under our roof, what I say goes.

What would you do if you were his parents? Let him continue to live with us while he quits his job and follows his dreams of *hopefully* becoming a successful entrepreneur (or blowing through his life savings)? Or, kick his a$$ out and say, "have fun?" Let's put this up to a Fastlane vote.

Thanks in advance for any guidance.
If I were your son with 35,000 $ on my pocket I would not even ask to live with you.I would rent a cheap apartment for myself, get a fast internet conection, schedule work out everyday, good food and good water, then I would start working on any fastlane idea I would have, just one good idea, and try, fail, try,fail,try,fail,try and then win.
Worst case scenario: he runs out of money before fastlane success, so what? he knows a lot now, he can now go back to your home and start from there again.
Best case scenario: his Fastlane is a success, he pays your mortgage and you can be the proudest parents.

I am 41 now, all my dreams and nightmares have become true in my life.The only regret I can have is all the FEAR I have felt in moments like your son is having now, fear only takes your energy and does not let you think clearly.Time will pass anyway so you better go and work on your fastlane, you will respect yourself more than ever and sky will be the limit, otherwise your son will be just a tool to somebodyelse´s fastlane.

Personally I am driving my Fastlane now and no regrets!
 

nausbot

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If he doesn't have a plan to execute on an idea what's his rush? Now he can sit at home all day without a plan? There are countless quality posts here of ACTION to achieve outcomes, what is he learning from?

Is he an Insider? Buy him that membership, and get him to start making his own notes. Sooner or later he will have an idea and with his own road map he can execute.

As a parent, what kind of resources do you have available for your son? Have any business buddies that you could get your son to spend time with? What kind of educational materials does he feel can help in his journey? There are tons of online and offline resources that he can educate himself with before he has an idea to create.

Make sure he is accountable! Fastlaners focus on PRODUCTIVITY... now that he's not spending 8 hours a day working a crappy job he should be able to put forth 12 hours worth of work in the same time, if not more. Especially if he truly does want to build his own business, and not just want to build his own business.

Finally, if he really doesn't have an idea of what he wants to do tell him to travel the world for a while. Open his eyes to new possibilities, make new friends, go to fastlane meetups etc. Push his boundaries and build his self confidence.
 

Vigilante

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I love this forum. It's different than anywhere else I have ever found on the internet. Don't ever stop investing in people.
 

Jam Wheel

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Just wanted to chime in a thought here...

If he currently hates his job (and I am sure working in customer support would kill anyone's soul) but can only workout and not work on his business in free time - I can get that. That was me the last 3+ years - hating the job I went to every day and the work/politics being so bad that coming home I could really only be a vegetable. For me I thought if I just quit and had room to think and be free of that mental burden I would be golden. I had entrepreneurial ideas and a sort of plan, I would be golden. Had about as much money as your son too.

I'll be honest that just having ideas isn't the same as executing on them. And having the space to think because I quit my job really hasn't been helpful because I didn't have a focused idea on what entrepreneurial endeavour I wanted to pursue. Couple that with a bunch of other factors this year and I haven't made nearly the progress I thought I would have. I am still in ok shape, but now its time to get real.

MJs advice and that of others is good in this thread - really good. What I would suggest is having a good talk with him about his list of ideas and maybe either help him narrow that list down (do you have contacts or past experience in any of those markets he could speak with?) or give him a deadline to come to you with a business proposal. From there go forth with the suggestion of letting him quit when he has a paying customer and scalable plan, etc. You may also want to encourage him to join some local entrepreneur meetups or groups so that it isn't such a lonely journey.

Finally, there has to be an end point to your generosity of providing room and board. You could potentially set a second deadline for him to move out, regardless of whether he has a job or not, maybe 9 months after he makes a decision, depending on his business choice. That would give him time to launch and see what the demand is like, and make the call if he wants to actually quit the job or not, change jobs or not, double down on the business or not, live in a hole and eat ramen or not. Either way, you would have provided a positive environment for him to explore in, while also creating some urgency.

Good luck!
 

Vigilante

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Just wanted to chime in a thought here...

If he currently hates his job (and I am sure working in customer support would kill anyone's soul) but can only workout and not work on his business in free time - I can get that. That was me the last 3+ years - hating the job I went to every day and the work/politics being so bad that coming home I could really only be a vegetable. For me I thought if I just quit and had room to think and be free of that mental burden I would be golden. I had entrepreneurial ideas and a sort of plan, I would be golden. Had about as much money as your son too.

I'll be honest that just having ideas isn't the same as executing on them. And having the space to think because I quit my job really hasn't been helpful because I didn't have a focused idea on what entrepreneurial endeavour I wanted to pursue. Couple that with a bunch of other factors this year and I haven't made nearly the progress I thought I would have. I am still in ok shape, but now its time to get real.

MJs advice and that of others is good in this thread - really good. What I would suggest is having a good talk with him about his list of ideas and maybe either help him narrow that list down (do you have contacts or past experience in any of those markets he could speak with?) or give him a deadline to come to you with a business proposal. From there go forth with the suggestion of letting him quit when he has a paying customer and scalable plan, etc. You may also want to encourage him to join some local entrepreneur meetups or groups so that it isn't such a lonely journey.

Finally, there has to be an end point to your generosity of providing room and board. You could potentially set a second deadline for him to move out, regardless of whether he has a job or not, maybe 9 months after he makes a decision, depending on his business choice. That would give him time to launch and see what the demand is like, and make the call if he wants to actually quit the job or not, change jobs or not, double down on the business or not, live in a hole and eat ramen or not. Either way, you would have provided a positive environment for him to explore in, while also creating some urgency.

Good luck!

Solid. Speed+
 

Harry3000

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From my own experience, my success only started after moving out at age 21. Pushing your son out of a comfortable environment will force him to either succeed or not eat. It seems odd to me that a 25 year old male would be able to create a million-dollar business without first being able to sustain himself.
 

AubreyJ

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I somewhat disagree with people when they say that letting your son live in your house is coddling him and holding him back- on the other hand I am a 20 year old who lives at home with my dad, so that may be why I feel this way. But whether you decide to let your son live with you or not, I think what is most important is supporting your son.

I know that in my own experience my dad has helped me in hundreds of ways- he has been incredibly supportive, has always offered advice and guidance wherever he could, I am 100% positive I would not be in the position I am in today if it wasn't for my dad- granted I am not successful yet, but I am on my way and am fairly well off for a 20 year old.

The arrangement my dad and I have is that I can live at home for as long as it makes sense- he pays for the roof over my head, and I pay for everything else. I follow his rules (luckily he is extremely laid back), I keep the house clean, I have to get along and follow the rules of my step-mom...etc. As of right now, I am aiming to move out in 6-months to a year- but it is mutually understood that I need to be out by the time I would have been graduating college, regardless of whether my business fails or succeeds.

I can understand your worry, and I think that the decision to let your son stay or not is a very personal decision that varies from person to person- because what works for my dad may not work for you and vise versa. But regardless, it is important to support him- your son is an adult and ultimately he is going to do what he wants to do, and supporting him will really help in the long run. I also agree with what everyone else said, he shouldn't quit until he has a business- quitting without a plan is how you fail.
 

Iwokeup

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Dear Worried Dad,

I'm a dad with a teen as well as two under five. I am working on my Fastlane but it's a patient process.

I say this because about six months ago I had been incredibly disgusted by my job and actively sought out a change that would still have me being productive but also allowing more time to work on my business. I've had a MILLION ideas since then, some excellent and a lot not so much. I would have LOVED to just quit and work on the business... But responsibility doesn't allow that, you know?

I guess that my point is that, I would support your son by allowing him to live at home AS LONG AS he is accountable to someone (yourself? This forum?) for actually making progress. Alternatively, it's not at all wrong to engage in a job that brings in money and forces him to engage in the world.

The founder of this forum said it best... Starting your own business can often feel like being held prisoner in a North Korean work camp. Most would be entrepreneurs never make it past the desert of desperation..
 

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