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GOLD Why only certain people "enjoy" the process? (Or is it something else?)

Discussion in 'Mindset, Motivation, Choices' started by Paul David, Mar 20, 2017 at 6:06 AM.

  1. Paul David
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    Paul David Silver Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I hear successful entrepreneurs say it quite a lot on motivation youtube videos or seminars.
    Instead of focussing on the end goal, enjoy the journey and process along the way they say.

    Personally for the majority of people in business i think it's bullshit. If you're just starting out in business and you're all excited about how much money you're going to make, or how you are going to change people's lives, give them value etc then yes i believe you will enjoy the "initial" process.

    If you're making $25,000 a month or whatever your desired figure is then yes i believe you will be enjoying the daily process.

    For anybody else, especially those who have been in the process for a number of years when the initial excitement has long gone and you've not reached your desired level, i believe the process becomes akin to those who go to work for somebody else every day.

    It's Monday morning now, it's raining as usual and i've just taken kids to school. I'm just about to go on my daily 3m run then i will sit down and start work for the day. I can work from home or go to the office, which is exactly how i like to work compared to having to sit in a car stuck in traffic like a lot of people. So that side is all well and good.

    However i wouldn't say i'm going to exactly "enjoy" what i'm going to do today. I don't look forward to sitting at my screen all day whilst the rain pounds against my window. Sure it's better than a lot other alternatives and i don't wish to sound ungrateful but if i had woken up this morning and seen that i'd made my desired target X amount of sales would i enjoy the process a lot more? Hell yes.

    If i could afford to spend every school holiday away in the sun somewhere, drive a Range Rover, not have my wife work, be debt free etc how would i feel about spending this very same Monday. It would be great. I wouldn't want to do anything different.

    Unless someone can perform a mindset change on me without evasive surgery i personally don't believe it's possible to enjoy the process unless you're a startup or have a desired financial income.
     
  2. Alxander
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    Alxander Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I try to look at a stoic/zen point of view towards the 'journey'.
    You can look forward towards something, but also be in the 'present moment', meaning; not beating yourself up mentally over your external environment.

    I don't want to always try to get to the next thing, without actually appreciating what I already have, and that can include struggle.
     
  3. MTF
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    MTF Never give up LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I'm much less motivated to work now than when I was struggling to make money. I try to, but I don't have the same work ethic as before and sometimes even refuse opportunities to make more money simply because I'd rather have time or don't want to deal with the headaches of whatever is needed to make more money.

    If you're not making much, the hunger keeps you going. If you're making way more than you need, it's much harder to convince yourself to keep working because you know that going from, say, $25,000 to $30,000 per month won't change much.

    If you can't "enjoy" the process now, it will be only harder once you start making much more than you need. Not that it's going to be worse once you make it - it's just a new challenge that comes with the next level.
     
  4. SteveO
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    SteveO Legendary Contributor LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Nope. Not akin to going to work for someone everyday. YOU have your own choices. YOU setup your processes. Someone did not do that for you. You are where you are by your own decisions.

    Being happy and challenged is your own choice as well.
     
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  5. SteveO
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    SteveO Legendary Contributor LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    It is important for you to be able to enjoy what you do. Sometimes I dig holes with a shovel that are 5' deep. It is pretty hot where I live. I may not enjoy taking each shovelful of dirt but I also don't lament the process. I also may not like the dust or mud that sticks to me as I work in the hole. But getting problems fixed makes me feel better.

    There is a large list of things that could be complained about. In fact, I do jokingly complain about them. It is all part of the adventure though.
     
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  6. Paul David
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    I did not mean from a fundamental point of view i was referring to more about the daily grind, every day is the same type of thing. Living for the weekend etc.

    I completely agree what you are saying. However i believe the processes would be enjoyable if i was at the point of earning my desired income from them. If you asked me if there is anything else in the world i would rather be doing to "earn my freedom" than what i'm doing now i'd probably say NO.
    I can't think of anything within reason. I wouldn't go as far to say i enjoy it though. I don't jump out of bed and think i can't wait to get started today.
    My dream as a young boy like most i suppose in the UK was to be a professional footballer (soccer) player. That ship sailed a long time ago.

    I used to work in my own shop 6 days a week for 7-8 years. Absolutely despised it in the end. Now I have the ability in my online business to work anywhere in the world. The processes i've set up allow me to do that. What prevents this from actually happening however is the business does not generate enough profit to make it affordable.

    I have the freedom to do things that don't have a certain financial requirement. I can walk out my house now and come back in 4 hours and i won't have a boss screaming at me. I could go on a bike ride. Options are limited however as everyone i know is in work.

    I've reached the point where i have the freedom to do the things I want but i don't have the money to pay for them if that makes sense. So essentially i suppose i don't have the freedom at all?
     
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  7. Yoda
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    Did you just solve your own problem?
     
  8. Paul David
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    The business does not generate enough profit *yet*.
    :)
     
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  9. MidwestLandlord
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    MidwestLandlord Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    So...you'd enjoy the process more if you had a Range Rover in the driveway?

    Do you really think that's true?
     
  10. JScott
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    JScott Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    For me, the process wasn't any more or less enjoyable based on how much money I was making. Sure, more money is more better, but if anything, like MTF said above, the more money I was making, the less motivated I was. In other words, this is the most motivated you're likely to ever get. If you're not currently motivated (and excited) about getting up everyday and being an entrepreneur, you likely never will be.

    If that's the case, perhaps entrepreneurship isn't for you? Or perhaps the specific business you're working on isn't for you?

    Life is short -- when you have the option, choose something that will make you happy over something that won't...
     
  11. Paul David
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    No it's not. Actually a Range Rover would be desirable but it's not at the top of my list. I had brand new Mercedes Cars before and i know that after the initial buzz the excitement wears off. I would though without a shadow of doubt enjoy the processes more if i was earning £20,000 a month and could afford to travel more. That's my number 1 aim before any bigger house, car, etc.
     
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  12. MidwestLandlord
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    I dunno man, I've struggled with the same feelings you have most of my life.

    I've traveled a LOT...boring.

    Nice cars...boring.

    I took home about $80,000 last month...boring.

    The only thing that worked for me was finding a "why" that was bigger than myself.

    My kids. Charity work. My God. All bigger than myself. But still not enough...

    My "why" ended up being the process itself.

    This ^^^^
     
  13. Paul David
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    Hmm very interesting. I think i may need to read that a dozen times or so before it sinks in.
    Do you think however you needed to experience those things though personally in order to rule them out? I'm a big believer in "why" and i've spent a lot of time thinking about it.
     
  14. MidwestLandlord
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    MidwestLandlord Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I don't wanna sound like I've "made it", because that's not true. I'm not 100% fastlane yet.

    But yeah, probably. I'm not quite there yet either though, so I guess I'm not sure.

    It was more of a product of me realizing that no matter what I did, I was never happy with it. I'm a very high energy guy, and contentment, gratefulness, and satisfaction have not come easy.

    Nothing was ever good enough. Always more! more! more!

    Always living in the future. If I had this, or did that, then I could finally be happy.

    And that's no way to live.

    I'm still working on it though haha.
     
  15. Paul David
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    This is exactly what my Wife says to me regarding always wanting more. She didn't write that for you did she? haha.

    This is also translates to my non working life thinking about it.
    I have a weight goal that i'm currently trying to achieve so i've set myself a target of 15 miles of running per week and 2 fasting days (600 calories or less) per week in order to achieve that. Now today is one of those fasting days. I just want to get the day over with so i can eat more normally tomorrow. Again i'm looking into the future. I also think though that sometimes in order to achieve something you have to sacrifice.

    I know i need to enjoy more of the here and now, i think i just don't know how. I understand it must also be difficult for my wife and kids to live with someone who thinks like i do. It's hard enough for me and there are times i wish i could be that person who's content with what's he's got. That's just not me though. Not at the moment anyway.
     
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  16. LPPC
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  17. SteveO
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    SteveO Legendary Contributor LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Here is your real challenge. What you have is what you've got. If you are not happy today, you will not be happy next year.
     
  18. cmor16
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    cmor16 Bronze Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Amen. I think we've all been here at some point in our lives. It's a tough hurdle to leap and even when you get past it, there tends to be another that follows it.

    The key is to recognize when you have these thoughts/feelings and take action to stop them.

    Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
     
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  19. Harti
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    Harti Bronze Contributor Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    We spend most of our lives trying to escape our fear of death.

    Why do we want to make money? To feel secure and live long.
    Why do we want to be healthy? To feel secure and live long.
    Why do we want to have good relationships? To feel secure and live long.

    Feeling like we're escaping death gives us a certain pleasure which most people confuse with happiness. It's the rush we get from buying a new car or getting a new girl.

    What happens once we make enough money is that we don't know what to do anymore because we're so used to running away from death. We're trying to avoid the fear of nothingness / purposelessness that's getting more and more present, the less we have to run away from. We search for meaning.

    We start new businesses or project our desire for purpose into another area that we can improve on ("now that I have money, I can focus on getting the body of my dreams and THEN life will be perfect").

    Of course, this also won't happen. If you are fortunate enough to be at this stage of life, then the solution is to stay with that fear until it's gone, without reacting to it. It's just a feeling and will cease after enough time spent with it. What comes afterward is the real joy.

    How does that all relate to enjoying the process?

    It's quite simple actually: Whenever you're still in the process of building your business, you're likely running away from death. Nobody enjoys running away from something, this is why the process can feel dreadful and motivation decreases.

    Whenever you're not happy working, ask yourself "Is my real motivation to work right now to escape death?" (aka. make ends meet?). Most of the time, if not all the time, the answer will be a yes.

    In this stage, if we exchange the running away from with a running toward, life changes.

    If you're working for a higher goal than surviving, which also concerns other people ("I really want to teach X how to do Y, that's why I'm creating my course!"), then you need less will power to sit down and work.

    If you, in addition, decide to spend time with your fear of death (or the more dominant manifestation of not making enough money), you have less and less to run away from and more and more to run toward.

    Happiness increases, quality increases, output increases, income increases.
     
  20. MidwestLandlord
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    MidwestLandlord Platinum Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I think the meaning of life is literally to create meaning in life.

    In the past, our meaning of life was "don't die"

    Now, I believe we have to tap into that inner caveman by creating meaning that we can instinctively latch onto.

    We have to "create" that in different ways, depending on our personalities. For some, that means blowing up their lives and starting over, or being a business polygamist to get that rush of creating something new. For others, it means still running from that fear of not having enough, by getting "more!"

    Neither I think works very well.

    For me, that meaning is literally "work hard"
     
  21. Young-Gun
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    Wow, super deep. Thanks for the morning thoughts. I think you are 100% correct, but I never thought about it this way.

    For me, money/income is definitely tied to anxieties about life and death. Thanks for helping putting a piece of the puzzle together, and I'll make the most of this day - enjoying the process, and staying happy to be alive, regardless of finances :)

    It's a sunny day and there's a soft white cat in my yard! Coffee is hot and I've got tons to do.
     
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  22. rogainer
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    rogainer Common sense isn't common FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I can't relate, but I think if myself and others on the journey really absorbed this, our thoughts and actions would be way different
     
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    Nailed it! There is no meaning until we create it. Don't search for meaning, create it!
     
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  24. Ika
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    Ika Too slow FASTLANE INSIDER Read The Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I'm struggling with this a lot of parts of my life.

    What helped me so far was to set process related goals instead of event related goals.

    Short example from my training:
    I always wanted to hold a handstand, becaus it's fun and cool. My goal was something like "hold it for 30sec" or "hold it for 1min", depending on how confident I was.
    Naturally I failed to reach the goal with the first tries. And while I got better, I was still working towards that one point in time, that " would make me enjoy handstands more".

    Not long ago, I realised it is not working this way. So I set the goal of "training everyday for 5min".
    Now everytime I trained for 5min, I reached my goal and enjoyed it.
    Naturally I became better. I might reach the 30sec stand faster with an event related goal, but this way I'm enjoying it more.


    The real challenge is that event related goals are really important.
    I can set the goal to " cold call for 1h a day" and enjoy the process - because I acomplish the goal every day.
    But if I don't reach my event-goal of "10 new customers", the business would die.


    I hope this helps you somehow!
    ~Ika
     
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    rogainer Common sense isn't common FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Nailed it. I've learned to do the same thing in my life and business. Set the big goal then break it down to the daily action. It sure relieves a lot of stress, because once you complete that daily action you know you've definitely made progress.
     
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