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GOLD! Why only certain people "enjoy" the process? (Or is it something else?)

Paul David

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I hear successful entrepreneurs say it quite a lot on motivation youtube videos or seminars.
Instead of focussing on the end goal, enjoy the journey and process along the way they say.

Personally for the majority of people in business i think it's bullshit. If you're just starting out in business and you're all excited about how much money you're going to make, or how you are going to change people's lives, give them value etc then yes i believe you will enjoy the "initial" process.

If you're making $25,000 a month or whatever your desired figure is then yes i believe you will be enjoying the daily process.

For anybody else, especially those who have been in the process for a number of years when the initial excitement has long gone and you've not reached your desired level, i believe the process becomes akin to those who go to work for somebody else every day.

It's Monday morning now, it's raining as usual and i've just taken kids to school. I'm just about to go on my daily 3m run then i will sit down and start work for the day. I can work from home or go to the office, which is exactly how i like to work compared to having to sit in a car stuck in traffic like a lot of people. So that side is all well and good.

However i wouldn't say i'm going to exactly "enjoy" what i'm going to do today. I don't look forward to sitting at my screen all day whilst the rain pounds against my window. Sure it's better than a lot other alternatives and i don't wish to sound ungrateful but if i had woken up this morning and seen that i'd made my desired target X amount of sales would i enjoy the process a lot more? Hell yes.

If i could afford to spend every school holiday away in the sun somewhere, drive a Range Rover, not have my wife work, be debt free etc how would i feel about spending this very same Monday. It would be great. I wouldn't want to do anything different.

Unless someone can perform a mindset change on me without evasive surgery i personally don't believe it's possible to enjoy the process unless you're a startup or have a desired financial income.
 

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Alxander

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I try to look at a stoic/zen point of view towards the 'journey'.
You can look forward towards something, but also be in the 'present moment', meaning; not beating yourself up mentally over your external environment.

I don't want to always try to get to the next thing, without actually appreciating what I already have, and that can include struggle.
 

MTF

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If you're making $25,000 a month or whatever your desired figure is then yes i believe you will be enjoying the daily process.
I'm much less motivated to work now than when I was struggling to make money. I try to, but I don't have the same work ethic as before and sometimes even refuse opportunities to make more money simply because I'd rather have time or don't want to deal with the headaches of whatever is needed to make more money.

If you're not making much, the hunger keeps you going. If you're making way more than you need, it's much harder to convince yourself to keep working because you know that going from, say, $25,000 to $30,000 per month won't change much.

If you can't "enjoy" the process now, it will be only harder once you start making much more than you need. Not that it's going to be worse once you make it - it's just a new challenge that comes with the next level.
 

SteveO

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Nope. Not akin to going to work for someone everyday. YOU have your own choices. YOU setup your processes. Someone did not do that for you. You are where you are by your own decisions.

Being happy and challenged is your own choice as well.
 

SteveO

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It is important for you to be able to enjoy what you do. Sometimes I dig holes with a shovel that are 5' deep. It is pretty hot where I live. I may not enjoy taking each shovelful of dirt but I also don't lament the process. I also may not like the dust or mud that sticks to me as I work in the hole. But getting problems fixed makes me feel better.

There is a large list of things that could be complained about. In fact, I do jokingly complain about them. It is all part of the adventure though.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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Nope. Not akin to going to work for someone everyday. YOU have your own choices. YOU setup your processes. Someone did not do that for you. You are where you are by your own decisions.

Being happy and challenged is your own choice as well.
I did not mean from a fundamental point of view i was referring to more about the daily grind, every day is the same type of thing. Living for the weekend etc.

I completely agree what you are saying. However i believe the processes would be enjoyable if i was at the point of earning my desired income from them. If you asked me if there is anything else in the world i would rather be doing to "earn my freedom" than what i'm doing now i'd probably say NO.
I can't think of anything within reason. I wouldn't go as far to say i enjoy it though. I don't jump out of bed and think i can't wait to get started today.
My dream as a young boy like most i suppose in the UK was to be a professional footballer (soccer) player. That ship sailed a long time ago.

I used to work in my own shop 6 days a week for 7-8 years. Absolutely despised it in the end. Now I have the ability in my online business to work anywhere in the world. The processes i've set up allow me to do that. What prevents this from actually happening however is the business does not generate enough profit to make it affordable.

I have the freedom to do things that don't have a certain financial requirement. I can walk out my house now and come back in 4 hours and i won't have a boss screaming at me. I could go on a bike ride. Options are limited however as everyone i know is in work.

I've reached the point where i have the freedom to do the things I want but i don't have the money to pay for them if that makes sense. So essentially i suppose i don't have the freedom at all?
 

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For me, the process wasn't any more or less enjoyable based on how much money I was making. Sure, more money is more better, but if anything, like MTF said above, the more money I was making, the less motivated I was. In other words, this is the most motivated you're likely to ever get. If you're not currently motivated (and excited) about getting up everyday and being an entrepreneur, you likely never will be.

If that's the case, perhaps entrepreneurship isn't for you? Or perhaps the specific business you're working on isn't for you?

Life is short -- when you have the option, choose something that will make you happy over something that won't...
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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So...you'd enjoy the process more if you had a Range Rover in the driveway?

Do you really think that's true?
No it's not. Actually a Range Rover would be desirable but it's not at the top of my list. I had brand new Mercedes Cars before and i know that after the initial buzz the excitement wears off. I would though without a shadow of doubt enjoy the processes more if i was earning £20,000 a month and could afford to travel more. That's my number 1 aim before any bigger house, car, etc.
 

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No it's not. Actually a Range Rover would be desirable but it's not at the top of my list. I had brand new Mercedes Cars before and i know that after the initial buzz the excitement wears off. I would though without a shadow of doubt enjoy the processes more if i was earning £20,000 a month and could afford to travel more. That's my number 1 aim before any bigger house, car, etc.
I dunno man, I've struggled with the same feelings you have most of my life.

I've traveled a LOT...boring.

Nice cars...boring.

I took home about $80,000 last month...boring.

The only thing that worked for me was finding a "why" that was bigger than myself.

My kids. Charity work. My God. All bigger than myself. But still not enough...

My "why" ended up being the process itself.

It is important for you to be able to enjoy what you do. Sometimes I dig holes with a shovel that are 5' deep. It is pretty hot where I live. I may not enjoy taking each shovelful of dirt but I also don't lament the process. I also may not like the dust or mud that sticks to me as I work in the hole. But getting problems fixed makes me feel better.
This ^^^^
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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I dunno man, I've struggled with the same feelings you have most of my life.

I've traveled a LOT...boring.

Nice cars...boring.

I took home about $80,000 last month...boring.

The only thing that worked for me was finding a "why" that was bigger than myself.

My kids. Charity work. My God. All bigger than myself. But still not enough...

My "why" ended up being the process itself.



This ^^^^
Hmm very interesting. I think i may need to read that a dozen times or so before it sinks in.
Do you think however you needed to experience those things though personally in order to rule them out? I'm a big believer in "why" and i've spent a lot of time thinking about it.
 

MidwestLandlord

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Do you think however you needed to experience those things though personally in order to rule them out?
I don't wanna sound like I've "made it", because that's not true. I'm not 100% fastlane yet.

But yeah, probably. I'm not quite there yet either though, so I guess I'm not sure.

It was more of a product of me realizing that no matter what I did, I was never happy with it. I'm a very high energy guy, and contentment, gratefulness, and satisfaction have not come easy.

Nothing was ever good enough. Always more! more! more!

Always living in the future. If I had this, or did that, then I could finally be happy.

And that's no way to live.

I'm still working on it though haha.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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I don't wanna sound like I've "made it", because that's not true. I'm not 100% fastlane yet.

But yeah, probably. I'm not quite there yet either though, so I guess I'm not sure.

It was more of a product of me realizing that no matter what I did, I was never happy with it. I'm a very high energy guy, and contentment, gratefulness, and satisfaction have not come easy.

Nothing was ever good enough. Always more! more! more!

Always living in the future. If I had this, or did that, then I could finally be happy.

And that's no way to live.

I'm still working on it though haha.
This is exactly what my Wife says to me regarding always wanting more. She didn't write that for you did she? haha.

This is also translates to my non working life thinking about it.
I have a weight goal that i'm currently trying to achieve so i've set myself a target of 15 miles of running per week and 2 fasting days (600 calories or less) per week in order to achieve that. Now today is one of those fasting days. I just want to get the day over with so i can eat more normally tomorrow. Again i'm looking into the future. I also think though that sometimes in order to achieve something you have to sacrifice.

I know i need to enjoy more of the here and now, i think i just don't know how. I understand it must also be difficult for my wife and kids to live with someone who thinks like i do. It's hard enough for me and there are times i wish i could be that person who's content with what's he's got. That's just not me though. Not at the moment anyway.
 

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I understand it must also be difficult for my wife and kids to live with someone who thinks like i do. It's hard enough for me and there are times i wish i could be that person who's content with what's he's got. That's just not me though. Not at the moment
Here is your real challenge. What you have is what you've got. If you are not happy today, you will not be happy next year.
 

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Nothing was ever good enough. Always more! more! more!

Always living in the future. If I had this, or did that, then I could finally be happy.

And that's no way to live.

I'm still working on it though haha.
Amen. I think we've all been here at some point in our lives. It's a tough hurdle to leap and even when you get past it, there tends to be another that follows it.

The key is to recognize when you have these thoughts/feelings and take action to stop them.

Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk
 

Harti

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We spend most of our lives trying to escape our fear of death.

Why do we want to make money? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to be healthy? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to have good relationships? To feel secure and live long.

Feeling like we're escaping death gives us a certain pleasure which most people confuse with happiness. It's the rush we get from buying a new car or getting a new girl.

What happens once we make enough money is that we don't know what to do anymore because we're so used to running away from death. We're trying to avoid the fear of nothingness / purposelessness that's getting more and more present, the less we have to run away from. We search for meaning.

We start new businesses or project our desire for purpose into another area that we can improve on ("now that I have money, I can focus on getting the body of my dreams and THEN life will be perfect").

Of course, this also won't happen. If you are fortunate enough to be at this stage of life, then the solution is to stay with that fear until it's gone, without reacting to it. It's just a feeling and will cease after enough time spent with it. What comes afterward is the real joy.

How does that all relate to enjoying the process?

It's quite simple actually: Whenever you're still in the process of building your business, you're likely running away from death. Nobody enjoys running away from something, this is why the process can feel dreadful and motivation decreases.

Whenever you're not happy working, ask yourself "Is my real motivation to work right now to escape death?" (aka. make ends meet?). Most of the time, if not all the time, the answer will be a yes.

In this stage, if we exchange the running away from with a running toward, life changes.

If you're working for a higher goal than surviving, which also concerns other people ("I really want to teach X how to do Y, that's why I'm creating my course!"), then you need less will power to sit down and work.

If you, in addition, decide to spend time with your fear of death (or the more dominant manifestation of not making enough money), you have less and less to run away from and more and more to run toward.

Happiness increases, quality increases, output increases, income increases.
 

MidwestLandlord

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We search for meaning.
I think the meaning of life is literally to create meaning in life.

In the past, our meaning of life was "don't die"

Now, I believe we have to tap into that inner caveman by creating meaning that we can instinctively latch onto.

We have to "create" that in different ways, depending on our personalities. For some, that means blowing up their lives and starting over, or being a business polygamist to get that rush of creating something new. For others, it means still running from that fear of not having enough, by getting "more!"

Neither I think works very well.

For me, that meaning is literally "work hard"
 

Young-Gun

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We spend most of our lives trying to escape our fear of death.

Why do we want to make money? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to be healthy? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to have good relationships? To feel secure and live long.

Feeling like we're escaping death gives us a certain pleasure which most people confuse with happiness. It's the rush we get from buying a new car or getting a new girl.

What happens once we make enough money is that we don't know what to do anymore because we're so used to running away from death. We're trying to avoid the fear of nothingness / purposelessness that's getting more and more present, the less we have to run away from. We search for meaning.

We start new businesses or project our desire for purpose into another area that we can improve on ("now that I have money, I can focus on getting the body of my dreams and THEN life will be perfect").

Of course, this also won't happen. If you are fortunate enough to be at this stage of life, then the solution is to stay with that fear until it's gone, without reacting to it. It's just a feeling and will cease after enough time spent with it. What comes afterward is the real joy.

How does that all relate to enjoying the process?

It's quite simple actually: Whenever you're still in the process of building your business, you're likely running away from death. Nobody enjoys running away from something, this is why the process can feel dreadful and motivation decreases.

Whenever you're not happy working, ask yourself "Is my real motivation to work right now to escape death?" (aka. make ends meet?). Most of the time, if not all the time, the answer will be a yes.

In this stage, if we exchange the running away from with a running toward, life changes.

If you're working for a higher goal than surviving, which also concerns other people ("I really want to teach X how to do Y, that's why I'm creating my course!"), then you need less will power to sit down and work.

If you, in addition, decide to spend time with your fear of death (or the more dominant manifestation of not making enough money), you have less and less to run away from and more and more to run toward.

Happiness increases, quality increases, output increases, income increases.
Wow, super deep. Thanks for the morning thoughts. I think you are 100% correct, but I never thought about it this way.

For me, money/income is definitely tied to anxieties about life and death. Thanks for helping putting a piece of the puzzle together, and I'll make the most of this day - enjoying the process, and staying happy to be alive, regardless of finances :)

It's a sunny day and there's a soft white cat in my yard! Coffee is hot and I've got tons to do.
 

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Ika

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I'm struggling with this a lot of parts of my life.

What helped me so far was to set process related goals instead of event related goals.

Short example from my training:
I always wanted to hold a handstand, becaus it's fun and cool. My goal was something like "hold it for 30sec" or "hold it for 1min", depending on how confident I was.
Naturally I failed to reach the goal with the first tries. And while I got better, I was still working towards that one point in time, that " would make me enjoy handstands more".

Not long ago, I realised it is not working this way. So I set the goal of "training everyday for 5min".
Now everytime I trained for 5min, I reached my goal and enjoyed it.
Naturally I became better. I might reach the 30sec stand faster with an event related goal, but this way I'm enjoying it more.


The real challenge is that event related goals are really important.
I can set the goal to " cold call for 1h a day" and enjoy the process - because I acomplish the goal every day.
But if I don't reach my event-goal of "10 new customers", the business would die.


I hope this helps you somehow!
~Ika
 

rogainer

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I'm struggling with this a lot of parts of my life.

What helped me so far was to set process related goals instead of event related goals.

Short example from my training:
I always wanted to hold a handstand, becaus it's fun and cool. My goal was something like "hold it for 30sec" or "hold it for 1min", depending on how confident I was.
Naturally I failed to reach the goal with the first tries. And while I got better, I was still working towards that one point in time, that " would make me enjoy handstands more".

Not long ago, I realised it is not working this way. So I set the goal of "training everyday for 5min".
Now everytime I trained for 5min, I reached my goal and enjoyed it.
Naturally I became better. I might reach the 30sec stand faster with an event related goal, but this way I'm enjoying it more.


The real challenge is that event related goals are really important.
I can set the goal to " cold call for 1h a day" and enjoy the process - because I acomplish the goal every day.
But if I don't reach my event-goal of "10 new customers", the business would die.


I hope this helps you somehow!
~Ika
Nailed it. I've learned to do the same thing in my life and business. Set the big goal then break it down to the daily action. It sure relieves a lot of stress, because once you complete that daily action you know you've definitely made progress.
 
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Paul David

Paul David

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We spend most of our lives trying to escape our fear of death.

Why do we want to make money? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to be healthy? To feel secure and live long.
Why do we want to have good relationships? To feel secure and live long.

Feeling like we're escaping death gives us a certain pleasure which most people confuse with happiness. It's the rush we get from buying a new car or getting a new girl.

What happens once we make enough money is that we don't know what to do anymore because we're so used to running away from death. We're trying to avoid the fear of nothingness / purposelessness that's getting more and more present, the less we have to run away from. We search for meaning.

We start new businesses or project our desire for purpose into another area that we can improve on ("now that I have money, I can focus on getting the body of my dreams and THEN life will be perfect").

Of course, this also won't happen. If you are fortunate enough to be at this stage of life, then the solution is to stay with that fear until it's gone, without reacting to it. It's just a feeling and will cease after enough time spent with it. What comes afterward is the real joy.

How does that all relate to enjoying the process?

It's quite simple actually: Whenever you're still in the process of building your business, you're likely running away from death. Nobody enjoys running away from something, this is why the process can feel dreadful and motivation decreases.

Whenever you're not happy working, ask yourself "Is my real motivation to work right now to escape death?" (aka. make ends meet?). Most of the time, if not all the time, the answer will be a yes.

In this stage, if we exchange the running away from with a running toward, life changes.

If you're working for a higher goal than surviving, which also concerns other people ("I really want to teach X how to do Y, that's why I'm creating my course!"), then you need less will power to sit down and work.

If you, in addition, decide to spend time with your fear of death (or the more dominant manifestation of not making enough money), you have less and less to run away from and more and more to run toward.

Happiness increases, quality increases, output increases, income increases.
Are you using the reference to escaping death/living long as a metaphor or not?
I'll answer those questions you asked with my current mindset:

Why do we want to make money?
I want to make money because first of all i hate the fact that my Wife has to travel 40 mins to work to sit at a job each day she hates. She has to because we need the money. Secondly i want to make more money because whenever my children are off school or whenever i choose i want to leave this country and go somewhere else. Thirdly i want to make money because i want the freedom it will provide me to do whatever i want with my time regardless if it makes more money or not.

Why do we want to be healthy?
This of course is related to death. I do not want to die young, especially before my children are grown up. However the reason why i exercise every day is because i usually get to a point where my jeans are tight around my thighs (i put weight on thighs rather than stomach) and it annoys me so much i start cutting down. I also don't eat vegetables apart from peas really. I just don't like the taste. If i could eat they way i wanted and not put weight on would i exercise? Absolutely not. It's a means to an end.

Why do we want to have good relationships?
This is a difficult one for me. When i left school i worked for my Father in a scrap yard with him and two other men. After a few years i left and started my own computer shop where i worked on my own for years until i started getting help from a retired paramedic. I've had the odd other staff member of the years but thats about it. I closed the shop and sell 100% online and now i have two staff members, one of them is my brother. I work at home 4 days a week and during those days apart skype conversations i very rarely speak to or see other people except my wife and children. (apart from school run).

I watched Justin's youtube video above and although he lost me half way through i agree that we are always running towards things we deem make us happy.

Here's my day with the current processes and my ideal day with same processes but more earning more money.
Currently: 7.30am - 8.30am I get Kids up, breakfast, dress them and take to school.
9.00am - Home and 3 mile run in my garage on treadmill.
9.45am-10am Start working for the day, usually until 12.30pm-1pm then i'll have dinner at home alone.
1.30pm-5pm. Apart from Mondays when kids aren't in after school club i will work at my desk. Might have a ten minute look at Soccer websites at 3pm, local newspaper website. Then i'll go and pick kids up at 5pm.
5.30pm-8pm. Give kids tea, wife is usually in work so i'll have my tea with kids or after on my own. Shower or bath kids and put them to bed.
8pm-11.30pm I work downstairs on the sofa with my laptop whilst my wife watches the TV.
That's a general day Monday to Friday.

Now here's another way to spend the day with same business processes.
7.30am - 8.30am Kids up for school, breakfast, dress them and then my wife takes them to school whilst i do my 3m run.
9.00am - Start work for a few hours.
12.30pm-1pm Go out for lunch with my wife somewhere. Maybe a bit of shopping. Clothes etc.
4pm. Do another couple of hours work until around 6pm.
6pm Wife has done the tea, collected kids up from school.
8pm-11.30pm We could get a babysitter and go to the movies, watch a play, go for a few drinks. Or i could go back to work for a couple of hours. Unless there is a soccer match on or a good film watching TV bores me. I'd rather work.
 

Harti

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Are you using the reference to escaping death/living long as a metaphor or not?
I'll answer those questions you asked with my current mindset:

Why do we want to make money?
I want to make money because first of all i hate the fact that my Wife has to travel 40 mins to work to sit at a job each day she hates. She has to because we need the money. Secondly i want to make more money because whenever my children are off school or whenever i choose i want to leave this country and go somewhere else. Thirdly i want to make money because i want the freedom it will provide me to do whatever i want with my time regardless if it makes more money or not.
It's meant literally.

1. Why do you hate the fact that your wife has to travel 40mins to a shitty job? My guess is because you love her. Why do we love each other and bond? It has developed as a survival mechanism because groups survived better than loners in the past. On a personal level, we love each other because we fear being alone.* Why do we fear being alone? Because our genes say "we die when we are alone".

2. Why do you want the best for your children? Survival. Your genes need to live on.

3. What feelings do you connect with NOT having the freedom you want to have? Being a slave? Wasting your life? What's wrong with that? We fear that our resources are (ab)used without us getting a return (ie. survival of the offspring) from it. Why do we fear that? Our death and the death of our genes.

We can literally connect about everything we do to the fear of death until we've resolved that. This is a painful process for the ego that includes letting go of what we consider the "I" and results in what people call enlightenment.

You start this process by asking yourself the simple question "why?" The deeper you go, the more you'll see that the answers are always feelings. If you stay with those feelings long enough, the truth reveals itself as the clouds vanish.

* Assumed it's not unconditional love which comes from a vast abundance of emotional resources, a state only very few people on this planet have reached.
 

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Here is your real challenge. What you have is what you've got. If you are not happy today, you will not be happy next year.
Exactly. Money is just a multiplier. If you're happy, more money will make you more happy. If you're sad, more money will cause bigger problems that will inevitably make you more sad (don't believe it? watch a couple TV shows about lottery winners...)
 

MJ DeMarco

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Diamonds probably don't enjoy the process either....

But that pressure is ultimately what causes that rock to shine.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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At the end of the day there is a science to achievement. You follow certain formulas and you achieve a certain result. Like a recipe. MJ and the Fastlane reveal one of these formulas. There's laws, there's steps, if you follow them -- you will find the success.

On the other hand there is an ART to fulfillment. What fulfills you will be drastically different than what fulfills me.

It is a **MUST**, not a should to figure out this part of life.

You can achieve all the success in the world, you can make everyone else happy -- but if you can't make yourself happy? If you can't master the art of being fulfilled? Well, you end up like a Chris Farley, a Kurt Cobain, or a Robin Williams.

Being fulfilled doesn't mean you're happy all day, every day. In fact, it usually takes a little discomfort to find out what your true path is and what truly fulfills you -- and the reason it's called an ART is that there are a million things you can do to be fulfilled... but I will warn you that not a single one of them involves an event.

You remember MJ talking about process versus event, right?

The challenge for most of us (me included) is that there have been several times in our lives where we think "if only THIS would happen, then I can be happy."

A financial goal, a thing goal, a relationship -- a whatever. 100% of the time though I guarantee the moment you hit a goal -- something you've wanted to achieve there will be a point where you say "is this all there is?"

It happens to every single human being.

Astronauts who go to the moon, return to a ticker tape parade, dinner with the president, and then they become alcoholics... because what is there to do once you've been to the moon? Something you've trained your entire life for? And you realize that EVENT that THING that you wanted so bad and achieved? Well it wasn't really the thing itself...

We're all looking for a feeling. An emotional state called happiness. Satisfaction. Pride. Winning. Whatever you want to call it. But the dangerous part about seeking the event over the process is that state is temporary -- that's why we all ask "is this all there is?"

So to answer your original question I'd highly recommend while you think being in love with the process is bullshit -- you must find a way to love it.

You must find a way to make the day-to-day work fulfilling because the danger if you don't is that you may end up bored, you may end up frustrated, you may end up lethargic, you may end up depressed, sad, angry, pissed off, you may end up feeling like "what's the point?", and ultimately you may end up living a life unfulfilled.

And I would argue that's the ultimate pain.

Where you let yourself become so dead inside that you can't enjoy the adventure of a smile. Where you won't let yourself get excited because you've been let down so many times that it would be foolish and naive to allow that to happen again. Where you spend 8-12 hours of your day slaving away at work that you hate, work that isn't fulfilling, work that doesn't support you.

I agree most people are saying they "love the process" simply because Gary V says it and it's cool. But I've got to say if you don't find a way to be fulfilled in your work -- there's a good chance it's going to lead to a miserable existence.

There's my 3 cents... I had an extra penny in my pocket today...
 

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