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What do you guys think about this cold email?

Discussion in 'Ideas, Needs, Concept Feedback' started by AlexLegault, Jun 18, 2018.

  1. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Subject line: Bob, Pleasure To Meet You

    Hi Bob, I wanted to give you a quick shout to introduce myself and [Company Name].

    We help companies get more results from their website and turn it into their #1 Salesperson that’s bringing in new customers constantly.

    But don’t take our word for it! We love to provide value and help business owners first.

    Not sure if you were looking to grow your business, but if you were...

    I would like to offer you a Free Website Optimization Strategy That Will Win You More Customers. It’s jam packed with free marketing ideas and a custom game plan to achieve your goals!

    Just shoot me a message if you’re interested.

    Alex

    P.S.

    I've attached to this email a video testimonial from REAL business owners we’ve had the pleasure to work with.
    Click the link below to check it out!

    [Company name] reviews and testimonials (link)

    -----------------

    What do you guys think?

    Not bad? Sh*tty? Okay?

    Would love to hear your opinion.
     
    DeletedUser052 likes this.
  2. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I delete this shit every day.
     
  3. wade1mil
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    wade1mil ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Same. Not every day, but every time I get one.
     
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  4. Scot
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    Scot Ductus Exemplo Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Too long, smelled BS 2 lines in and hit delete. Agree with @Vigilante, I put these straight into my trash.

    Shorten it up, 3 lines max. You don’t have to close the sale on the first email. Just get them to answer.
     
  5. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Hahaha alright thanks. Get them to answer what though, a specific question?
     
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  6. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Lol this is why I ask questions on this forum. I love it when you guys give the straight truth. Thanks for the heads up.

    Would you have any suggestions on what would make it better? I'm trying to find web design and digital marketing clients and I'm struggling to get meetings (I'm sure that doesn't surprise you).

    What do you guys think is a better way to get clients?
     
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  7. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    You have to do something unconventional. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I get one of these nearly daily.

    You have to do something completely differently. One time I fedexed Donald Trump a balloon that when they opened the box the balloon popped out and attached to it was some cash and a note. We got a return phone call.
     
  8. Scot
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    Scot Ductus Exemplo Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I’m sorry you... what???
     
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  9. Scot
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    Scot Ductus Exemplo Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Ask a simple question. One that I’ve used is just asking if I have the right person.

    “Hello, are you the person responsible for fixing issues with your companies website? If not, could you please forward me to the appropriate person?”
     
  10. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Alright you got me... So what did the note say? lol
     
  11. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Well that sounds very simple. lol, I'll give it a try
     
  12. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    It was a few years before the campaign, on a license proposal.

    We got the name of his personal assistant.

    Took a box.

    Put a milar balloon in it. Attached some cash (maybe a $50?) to the weight clip. Included a business card.

    The note was something to the effect of "we want to make money for you in a license deal."

    We had to make sure when they cut the box open they didn't cut the balloon so we put an extra layer on top.

    They opened the box.

    The balloon drifted out.

    Attached to the balloon was the cash and a business card.

    It generated a return call.

    Now if I had just sent him a Fedex, do you think they would have called?
     
  13. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    A supplier when I was a buyer at Walmart once took out a billboard right next to the Walmart corporate office and put a picture of his product and their logo on it.

    Every executive at Walmart saw the billboard.

    You can be darn sure they received a call from the buyer immediately, and an appointment soon thereafter.
     
  14. Scot
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    Oh trust me, if I don’t get into Publix Florida Local, you better believe I-4 is getting a billboard right before Lakeland haha
     
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  15. VegasMan
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    VegasMan Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Same here. Loads of them. EVERY day.

    In fact I have rules on my inbox to pretty much trash anything that contains "quick".

    ... a quick 15 minute call
    ... a quick shout out
    ... a quick introduction

    And on top of those I can pretty much rule out any marketing email that begins with "I" (or "we").

    I would like...
    We love to...
    I found your name...
    We do this that and the other thing...

    You may not know what *I* do yet, but at least try to find out before dumping on me what *you* do.
     
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  16. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I used this exact line and people starting getting very defensive, lol
     
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  17. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Remember that modern marketing is about permission. You need to gain someone's permission to enter into a sales conversation. You don't decide when that conversation becomes a sales conversation, they do.
     
  18. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Good point, thank you.
     
  19. RahKnee
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    RahKnee Bronze Contributor

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    Would you all say the same points apply to emails to warm or qualified leads? I'm having a rough time getting responses after people have asked me to contact them.
     
  20. biophase
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    biophase Legendary Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Me too
     
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  21. Bdenner64
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    Bdenner64 Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Cold email works, some key points:

    --> first focus on the subject lines and actually getting your emails read. It doesn't matter how good your email is if it never gets seen
    --> give value first, stop asking for a sale or making it obvious that is what you are going for. Websites are perfect for this, see a quick fix they can make which will have an impact on their sales? Shoot them over a code snippet and before/after examples of what it does. Very powerful... This just help land me a deal with one of the largest crossfit boxes in the world.
    --> go beyond email. Like @Vigilante suggested, find some way to stand out and use different channels (direct mail done well can be super powerful)
    --> I would be hesitant about sending a testimonial or such right off the bat, what if they see it and say to themselves "This person is not like me so this won't work for me"...?
     
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  22. sparechange
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    sparechange Gold Contributor Speedway Pass

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    try something like,

    hey _____ we'd like you to try out our Free Website Optimization Strategy That Will Win You More Customers.

    just click www.whateevr.com and check it out! let us know how you like it.


    keep it extremely short imo

    hopefully it doesnt lead to some sketchy looking website, youtube seems like the best bet or instagram
     
  23. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    What do you guys think about cold emails asking people if they want a free website review along with what they could improve if they're looking to get more customers?
     
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  24. sparechange
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    sparechange Gold Contributor Speedway Pass

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    that could work, i suggest highly to check out alex becker on youtube, he is awesome at seo and website based stuff. all his content is free
     
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  25. AlexLegault
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    AlexLegault Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Thanks, just checked him out and he seems to have some good stuff.
     
    sparechange likes this.

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