The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

What do you guys think about this cold email?

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
Subject line: Bob, Pleasure To Meet You

Hi Bob, I wanted to give you a quick shout to introduce myself and [Company Name].

We help companies get more results from their website and turn it into their #1 Salesperson that’s bringing in new customers constantly.

But don’t take our word for it! We love to provide value and help business owners first.

Not sure if you were looking to grow your business, but if you were...

I would like to offer you a Free Website Optimization Strategy That Will Win You More Customers. It’s jam packed with free marketing ideas and a custom game plan to achieve your goals!

Just shoot me a message if you’re interested.

Alex

P.S.

I've attached to this email a video testimonial from REAL business owners we’ve had the pleasure to work with.
Click the link below to check it out!

[Company name] reviews and testimonials (link)

-----------------

What do you guys think?

Not bad? Sh*tty? Okay?

Would love to hear your opinion.
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 31, 2011
9,950
58,646
4,655
Gulf Coast
Subject line: Bob, Pleasure To Meet You

Hi Bob, I wanted to give you a quick shout to introduce myself and [Company Name].

We help companies get more results from their website and turn it into their #1 Salesperson that’s bringing in new customers constantly.

But don’t take our word for it! We love to provide value and help business owners first.

Not sure if you were looking to grow your business, but if you were...

I would like to offer you a Free Website Optimization Strategy That Will Win You More Customers. It’s jam packed with free marketing ideas and a custom game plan to achieve your goals!

Just shoot me a message if you’re interested.

Alex

P.S.

I've attached to this email a video testimonial from REAL business owners we’ve had the pleasure to work with.
Click the link below to check it out!

[Company name] reviews and testimonials (link)

-----------------

What do you guys think?

Not bad? Sh*tty? Okay?

Would love to hear your opinion.
I delete this shit every day.
 

Scot

Salad Dressing Empire
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Jul 10, 2016
2,925
13,466
2,796
Florida
Too long, smelled BS 2 lines in and hit delete. Agree with @Vigilante, I put these straight into my trash.

Shorten it up, 3 lines max. You don’t have to close the sale on the first email. Just get them to answer.
 
OP
OP
AlexLegault

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
Too long, smelled BS 2 lines in and hit delete. Agree with @Vigilante, I put these straight into my trash.

Shorten it up, 3 lines max. You don’t have to close the sale on the first email. Just get them to answer.
Hahaha alright thanks. Get them to answer what though, a specific question?
 
OP
OP
AlexLegault

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
I delete this sh*t every day.
Lol this is why I ask questions on this forum. I love it when you guys give the straight truth. Thanks for the heads up.

Would you have any suggestions on what would make it better? I'm trying to find web design and digital marketing clients and I'm struggling to get meetings (I'm sure that doesn't surprise you).

What do you guys think is a better way to get clients?
 

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 31, 2011
9,950
58,646
4,655
Gulf Coast
Lol this is why I ask questions on this forum. I love it when you guys give the straight truth. Thanks for the heads up.

Would you have any suggestions on what would make it better? I'm trying to find web design and digital marketing clients and I'm struggling to get meetings (I'm sure that doesn't surprise you).

What do you guys think is a better way to get clients?
You have to do something unconventional. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I get one of these nearly daily.

You have to do something completely differently. One time I fedexed Donald Trump a balloon that when they opened the box the balloon popped out and attached to it was some cash and a note. We got a return phone call.
 

Scot

Salad Dressing Empire
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Jul 10, 2016
2,925
13,466
2,796
Florida
You have to do something unconventional. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I get one of these nearly daily.

You have to do something completely differently. One time I fedexed Donald Trump a balloon that when they opened the box the balloon popped out and attached to it was some cash and a note. We got a return phone call.

I’m sorry you... what???
 

Scot

Salad Dressing Empire
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Jul 10, 2016
2,925
13,466
2,796
Florida
Lol this is why I ask questions on this forum. I love it when you guys give the straight truth. Thanks for the heads up.

Would you have any suggestions on what would make it better? I'm trying to find web design and digital marketing clients and I'm struggling to get meetings (I'm sure that doesn't surprise you).

What do you guys think is a better way to get clients?

Ask a simple question. One that I’ve used is just asking if I have the right person.

“Hello, are you the person responsible for fixing issues with your companies website? If not, could you please forward me to the appropriate person?”
 
OP
OP
AlexLegault

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
You have to do something unconventional. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I get one of these nearly daily.

You have to do something completely differently. One time I fedexed Donald Trump a balloon that when they opened the box the balloon popped out and attached to it was some cash and a note. We got a return phone call.
Alright you got me... So what did the note say? lol
 
OP
OP
AlexLegault

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
Ask a simple question. One that I’ve used is just asking if I have the right person.

“Hello, are you the person responsible for fixing issues with your companies website? If not, could you please forward me to the appropriate person?”
Well that sounds very simple. lol, I'll give it a try
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 31, 2011
9,950
58,646
4,655
Gulf Coast
I’m sorry you... what???
It was a few years before the campaign, on a license proposal.

We got the name of his personal assistant.

Took a box.

Put a milar balloon in it. Attached some cash (maybe a $50?) to the weight clip. Included a business card.

The note was something to the effect of "we want to make money for you in a license deal."

We had to make sure when they cut the box open they didn't cut the balloon so we put an extra layer on top.

They opened the box.

The balloon drifted out.

Attached to the balloon was the cash and a business card.

It generated a return call.

Now if I had just sent him a Fedex, do you think they would have called?
 

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Oct 31, 2011
9,950
58,646
4,655
Gulf Coast
A supplier when I was a buyer at Walmart once took out a billboard right next to the Walmart corporate office and put a picture of his product and their logo on it.

Every executive at Walmart saw the billboard.

You can be darn sure they received a call from the buyer immediately, and an appointment soon thereafter.
 

Scot

Salad Dressing Empire
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Jul 10, 2016
2,925
13,466
2,796
Florida
A supplier when I was a buyer at Walmart once took out a billboard right next to the Walmart corporate office and put a picture of his product and their logo on it.

Every executive at Walmart saw the billboard.

You can be darn sure they received a call from the buyer immediately, and an appointment soon thereafter.

Oh trust me, if I don’t get into Publix Florida Local, you better believe I-4 is getting a billboard right before Lakeland haha
 

VegasMan

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
May 8, 2015
51
129
137
49
Milwaukee, WI
I delete this sh*t every day.
Same here. Loads of them. EVERY day.

In fact I have rules on my inbox to pretty much trash anything that contains "quick".

... a quick 15 minute call
... a quick shout out
... a quick introduction

And on top of those I can pretty much rule out any marketing email that begins with "I" (or "we").

I would like...
We love to...
I found your name...
We do this that and the other thing...

You may not know what *I* do yet, but at least try to find out before dumping on me what *you* do.
 
OP
OP
AlexLegault

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
“Hello, are you the person responsible for fixing issues with your companies website? If not, could you please forward me to the appropriate person?”
I used this exact line and people starting getting very defensive, lol
 

RahKnee

Bronze Contributor
May 27, 2013
96
116
134
Would you all say the same points apply to emails to warm or qualified leads? I'm having a rough time getting responses after people have asked me to contact them.
 

Bdenner64

Silver Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Jul 26, 2017
274
596
252
23
Boulder, CO
Cold email works, some key points:

--> first focus on the subject lines and actually getting your emails read. It doesn't matter how good your email is if it never gets seen
--> give value first, stop asking for a sale or making it obvious that is what you are going for. Websites are perfect for this, see a quick fix they can make which will have an impact on their sales? Shoot them over a code snippet and before/after examples of what it does. Very powerful... This just help land me a deal with one of the largest crossfit boxes in the world.
--> go beyond email. Like @Vigilante suggested, find some way to stand out and use different channels (direct mail done well can be super powerful)
--> I would be hesitant about sending a testimonial or such right off the bat, what if they see it and say to themselves "This person is not like me so this won't work for me"...?
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

sparechange

Gold Contributor
Speedway Pass
Nov 11, 2016
1,205
1,396
435
Canada (Vancouver/Calgary)
try something like,

hey _____ we'd like you to try out our Free Website Optimization Strategy That Will Win You More Customers.

just click www.whateevr.com and check it out! let us know how you like it.


keep it extremely short imo

hopefully it doesnt lead to some sketchy looking website, youtube seems like the best bet or instagram
 
OP
OP
AlexLegault

AlexLegault

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jun 6, 2017
124
228
166
24
Ontario, Canada
What do you guys think about cold emails asking people if they want a free website review along with what they could improve if they're looking to get more customers?
 

sparechange

Gold Contributor
Speedway Pass
Nov 11, 2016
1,205
1,396
435
Canada (Vancouver/Calgary)
that could work, i suggest highly to check out alex becker on youtube, he is awesome at seo and website based stuff. all his content is free
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.


New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Sponsored Offers

Lex DeVille's - Advanced Freelance Udemy Courses!
-- HALLOWEEN SPECIAL STARTS TODAY! Get any of my courses at Udemy's current best price through Friday! Use code: HALLOWEEN Use any of the links...
Top Bottom