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Have you ever met a guy who was pushing 40, is over 100k in debt, has practically no family, and very few friends but who hasn't completely given up on life yet despite numerous daily temptations to do just that?
Well, you are in the presence of one now.
Hi, I'm J0elsuf and I've discovered a place worse than the sidewalk: The sewer.
Because financially, that's where I'm at now. Forget the sidewalk, I'm straight up underground looking for a way to get out.
This is going to be a life story of sorts so get some coffee or a beer or something and get ready. Don't worry, it isn't all bad although it starts out pretty dark.
So how am I over 100k in debt?
Taking out student loans so I could drink and party, that's how.
My father died when I was 24. He had stomach cancer which moved to his lungs.
My reaction?
"Well, if my dad died at 51, then I have no time to waste. I'm on borrowed time. Guess I'll just do everything I can to enjoy myself before I get cancer too! I'm pretty much going to die before 30 anyways at the rate I'm going."
And thus, "the plan" was formed: I was going to go back to school so I could party like crazy like I wanted to before my father got cancer, take out every student loan possible, then throw myself off a pier when I couldn't take any more loans out.
Fast forward about four years later, and there I am at the pier.
I couldn't bring myself to jump off of it.
The more I stared at the water, the more it appeared like the water is rising to submerge me. I sprinted to my car, looking back as if I was running from a tidal wave.
For about five years after that, I decided that I needed to take care of my mental health if I was ever going to get my finances right.
I saw counselors, although very few of them provided anything of value. In fact, most of them questioned why I didn't take antidepressants, which I had a very bad experience with.
This gave me an idea for a business: I wanted to start a blog that combines the "red pill" philosophes of the Manosphere without the toxicity and the somewhat useful but often contrived and complicated information that one often gets from mental health resources that celebrates individuality over the desire to belong. I call it The Immortal Individual.
At 35, I decided that I was done phoning things in at the convenience store I was working at for minimum wage and decided to take up freelance writing.
After a year of floundering in those two businesses, I began doing Uber Eats and that's what I do now.
I'm not gonna lie: I still deal with mental health issues but I recover way faster now.
However, my current situation is not great and it makes me feel like a hypocrite. What business do I have trying to change the culture of counseling if I'm pushing 40, have 100k in debt, and have nothing but a piddly social science degree to show for it (yes, I was one of those: I went to college so I could change the culture of education as well as the other "progressive" nonsense: Squash capitalism, eat the rich, etc...I regret every second of it)?
My desperation for a way out of the sewer as I call it came to a head last week.
There I was, on Freelancer, bidding on gigs, when a client lets me know that they have a good offer for me. They take me off the platform, send me a sign on bonus check and you probably know the rest.
Sooooo 100k in debt, got an overdrawn bank account for two grand which is likely going to get charged off.
I promised my intro was going to get better and it here it is...
To quote Vince McMahon, there is no chance in hell that I am going to give up.
No way.
So what if I'm pushing 40 and have to pay for a decade of me trying to speed up my demise? It's just another challenge for me at this point and I have grown to love challenges.
I joined this community for two reasons.
First, I really need some support and help with my businesses. I have really good ideas. I enjoy writing and I feel like it is the captivating kind of writing that could go on any sales page. However, I have no idea how to find customers and clients other than "keep writing in your blog" or "keep putting in proposals." Simply put, I have no idea if I'm wasting my time or not and would like some input and feedback. That will be in a different thread however.
I also want to post a daily "income and spending" journal to finally marry my responsibility and accountability in this area of my life for the first time in my life which I will begin tomorrow.
There are so many voices in my head that are telling me that it is too late for me to change and I should just give up on life and go be a janitor or something until I die.
But if I'm in a community like this I think I'll be around enough support that I can resist that kind of temptation.
I also joined this community to provide support. As someone who has sexually assaulted twice in his life and who has had to witness loss in its most demonstrative form, I believe I can be a voice of comfort for those who seem lost like I used to be (and still am sometimes).
Thank you all for reading and I am glad to be part of this community. I hope I can contribute to it well.
PS: I'm about halfway through Millionaire Fastlane . Been taking very detailed notes on it.
Well, you are in the presence of one now.
Hi, I'm J0elsuf and I've discovered a place worse than the sidewalk: The sewer.
Because financially, that's where I'm at now. Forget the sidewalk, I'm straight up underground looking for a way to get out.
This is going to be a life story of sorts so get some coffee or a beer or something and get ready. Don't worry, it isn't all bad although it starts out pretty dark.
So how am I over 100k in debt?
Taking out student loans so I could drink and party, that's how.
My father died when I was 24. He had stomach cancer which moved to his lungs.
My reaction?
"Well, if my dad died at 51, then I have no time to waste. I'm on borrowed time. Guess I'll just do everything I can to enjoy myself before I get cancer too! I'm pretty much going to die before 30 anyways at the rate I'm going."
And thus, "the plan" was formed: I was going to go back to school so I could party like crazy like I wanted to before my father got cancer, take out every student loan possible, then throw myself off a pier when I couldn't take any more loans out.
Fast forward about four years later, and there I am at the pier.
I couldn't bring myself to jump off of it.
The more I stared at the water, the more it appeared like the water is rising to submerge me. I sprinted to my car, looking back as if I was running from a tidal wave.
For about five years after that, I decided that I needed to take care of my mental health if I was ever going to get my finances right.
I saw counselors, although very few of them provided anything of value. In fact, most of them questioned why I didn't take antidepressants, which I had a very bad experience with.
This gave me an idea for a business: I wanted to start a blog that combines the "red pill" philosophes of the Manosphere without the toxicity and the somewhat useful but often contrived and complicated information that one often gets from mental health resources that celebrates individuality over the desire to belong. I call it The Immortal Individual.
At 35, I decided that I was done phoning things in at the convenience store I was working at for minimum wage and decided to take up freelance writing.
After a year of floundering in those two businesses, I began doing Uber Eats and that's what I do now.
I'm not gonna lie: I still deal with mental health issues but I recover way faster now.
However, my current situation is not great and it makes me feel like a hypocrite. What business do I have trying to change the culture of counseling if I'm pushing 40, have 100k in debt, and have nothing but a piddly social science degree to show for it (yes, I was one of those: I went to college so I could change the culture of education as well as the other "progressive" nonsense: Squash capitalism, eat the rich, etc...I regret every second of it)?
My desperation for a way out of the sewer as I call it came to a head last week.
There I was, on Freelancer, bidding on gigs, when a client lets me know that they have a good offer for me. They take me off the platform, send me a sign on bonus check and you probably know the rest.
Sooooo 100k in debt, got an overdrawn bank account for two grand which is likely going to get charged off.
I promised my intro was going to get better and it here it is...
To quote Vince McMahon, there is no chance in hell that I am going to give up.
No way.
So what if I'm pushing 40 and have to pay for a decade of me trying to speed up my demise? It's just another challenge for me at this point and I have grown to love challenges.
I joined this community for two reasons.
First, I really need some support and help with my businesses. I have really good ideas. I enjoy writing and I feel like it is the captivating kind of writing that could go on any sales page. However, I have no idea how to find customers and clients other than "keep writing in your blog" or "keep putting in proposals." Simply put, I have no idea if I'm wasting my time or not and would like some input and feedback. That will be in a different thread however.
I also want to post a daily "income and spending" journal to finally marry my responsibility and accountability in this area of my life for the first time in my life which I will begin tomorrow.
There are so many voices in my head that are telling me that it is too late for me to change and I should just give up on life and go be a janitor or something until I die.
But if I'm in a community like this I think I'll be around enough support that I can resist that kind of temptation.
I also joined this community to provide support. As someone who has sexually assaulted twice in his life and who has had to witness loss in its most demonstrative form, I believe I can be a voice of comfort for those who seem lost like I used to be (and still am sometimes).
Thank you all for reading and I am glad to be part of this community. I hope I can contribute to it well.
PS: I'm about halfway through Millionaire Fastlane . Been taking very detailed notes on it.
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