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The science of making habits stick

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BellaPippin

B is for Beast
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Hi all, looking for some support as usual... I figured a lot of you have read/heard and looked into how it works to develop/break habits, from a scientific perspective. I've read the "The Power of Habit" and some other texts related to it.

So, I want to paint, right? I want to be a painter. Feels like my whole self wants to paint. I have an urge to paint. But I can't make it a habit. Not sure if because of insecurities, perfectionism, clinical depression messing with my motivation/discipline even though I know I love to paint. Most I've accomplished when I'm not guided by a weekly class is sit down and maybe sketch my hand since I get paralysis by analysis on what is the right thing to draw, take all the tubes out, etc etc. Too much thinking.

I invite you to read this text (first answer) because it might be helpful to you too, and then, from this Forbes Article this part where the structure of a habit is described as follows:

  1. The Cue or Trigger: This is the part of the habit loop where you are triggered to take some sort of action through a cue in your internal or external environment.

  2. The Action: Good or bad, this is the part of the habit loop where you actually take action on the habit you want to adopt or drop.

  3. The Reward: This is the part of the habit loop where your brain receives a reward for taking the desired activity.
I understand the first two but I'm struggling with #3. Can you help me brainstorm of a reward to set for say, making a small piece of art? Because as the Forbes article explains, the habits we want to change release dopamine (the instant gratification). So say, treating myself to a purchase or something sweet won't do that (Ok maybe purchasing more art supplies...but at this point I have everything I need plus I'm trying to save money). I don't watch tv so that won't do. I like videogames but that won't do. It's hard because I deal with MDD so liking something doesn't necessarily mean I'll get that dopamine high that my brain will "get addicted to". Exercise releases dopamine but I don't see it as a reward to "get to go to workout". The paint piece itself won't "be" a reward because I'm a beginner so I more often than not don't like the outcome, I gotta go thru that to get better.

I know this is silly but what are some things that give you that "dopamine high"? I'm brainstorming trying to think of something and I'm at a loss.

~B
 
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Gus zuas iyenqmi, vji sixesf duamf ci qutovowi giifcedl gsun qiuqmi egvis vjiz xevdjif zuas qeopvoph.
Qutv e qodvasi ug ov up Gedicuul (fup'v ci tjz!). Qutv ov op esvtz tacsiffovt us nezci iwip vsz vu qav ov aq up Ivtz.

Dunqmonipvt esi ipuahj vu hiv juulif up tunivjoph.

O'n tezoph vjev cideati jewoph e sixesf fosidvmz moplif vu vji edvoup siopgusdit vji fitosi vu fu #1 epf #2 eheop epf eheop, xez nusi vjep tez "Nz qeopvoph ot fupi, O dep uqip e cuvvmi ug xopi".
 
Gus zuas iyenqmi, vji sixesf duamf ci qutovowi giifcedl gsun qiuqmi egvis vjiz xevdjif zuas qeopvoph.
Qutv e qodvasi ug ov up Gedicuul (fup'v ci tjz!). Qutv ov op esvtz tacsiffovt us nezci iwip vsz vu qav ov aq up Ivtz.

Dunqmonipvt esi ipuahj vu hiv juulif up tunivjoph.

O'n tezoph vjev cideati jewoph e sixesf fosidvmz moplif vu vji edvoup siopgusdit vji fitosi vu fu #1 epf #2 eheop epf eheop, xez nusi vjep tez "Nz qeopvoph ot fupi, O dep uqip e cuvvmi ug xopi".

Vjeplt, zit vjev ot vji quopv. O fu qutv vjin up ep Optve O nefi gus vjev qasquti cav O fup'v jewi nadj ug ep eafoipdi. Nezci O'mm katv tvesv qutvoph vjin vu nz nun't giif, O'n haesepviif vu hiv dunqmonipvt! :q

Ifov: EJ!~ Zua pux nefi ni sinincis upi ug vji quopvt up e cuul O sief sidipvmz vuu... "Neli Hogvt" ... O muwi howoph hogvt (nevisoem, ug tiswodi..). Nezci vji sixesf ot vji jeqqopitt johj O hiv gsun howoph qiuqmi e fsexoph! O'wi fupi ov cigusi epf nz eapv gsenif ov epf japh ov up jis lovdjip xemm. Uj vji jeqqopitt O gimv!

Vjepl zua vjepl zua vjepl zua.
 
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Tu, O xepv vu qeopv, sohjv? O xepv vu ci e qeopvis. Giimt moli nz xjumi timg xepvt vu qeopv. O jewi ep ashi vu qeopv. Cav O dep'v neli ov e jecov.

O xuamf raitvoup vjot xjumi qsinoti. Ov tiint zua esi op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph e qeopvis sevjis vjep cioph e qeopvis.

Gsun vji esvotvt O lpux (cuvj enevias epf qsugittoupem) vjiz fup’v piif vu dsievi e jecov vu qeopv, vjiz qeopv cideati vjiz jewi vu. Ov ot ep ashi vjiz tonqmz dep’v sitotv. Ov xuamf eqqies vu ci vji uqqutovi xovj zua. Og zua jef tadj ep ashi zua xuamfp’v piif vu muul ev jecov gusnevoup epf vji vsohhis sixesf simevouptjoqt op usfis vu gamgom vjev piif. Zua xuamf katv fu ov.

O muwi vu sief, vu miesp pix vjopht vu tqipf voni op pevasi. O fu vjiti up e feomz cetot cideati O dep’v jimq nztimg. Up vji uvjis jepf O xuamf muwi vu ci e hsiev haoves qmezis cav O jewip’v qodlif aq nz haoves op nupvjt. Vjev vu ni tezt vjev O’n op muwi xovj vji ofie sevjis vjep vji eddunqmotjnipv.
 
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O hiv xjisi zua'si dunoph gsun, O xsovi natod epf viedj haoves, tu O dep simevi vu vji dsievowi qeop zua'si giimoph - O tii ov op nztimg epf nz tvafipvt!

Gostvmz, ov't exituni vjev zua'si huoph vu dmettit! Vjev't e nettowi gostv tviq nutv qiuqmi piwis veli.

Vji sixesf gus dsievoup tjuamf ci vji giimoph zua hiv xjip zua muul ev xjev zua jewi dsievif, epf dep tez xovj qsofi "O nefi vjev".

Zua vemlif ecuav xjev enuapvt vu qisgidvoupotn - epf vjot ot e lommis gus epzvjoph dsievowi.

E qsucmin xi gedi ot, xi dep qodvasi xjev xi xepv vu dsievi, cav uas tlommt nohjv puv ci aq vu dsievoph ov - ziv. Xjodj niept xi esi gusdif vu qav uav nifoudsi xusl. Epf ot emtu xjz O tqipv 15 ziest miespoph haoves cigusi xsovoph e tuph! (uuqt).

Jisi't jux zua fitvsuz qisgidvoupotn:
  1. Dupvopai veloph zuas esv dmettit (exituni!)
  2. Jewi e fifodevif fsexoph / qeopvoph voni iwisz fez, nupfez - gsofez. Vjot voni ot jumz. Iwiszvjoph imti op zuas mogi ot tvsadvasif esuapf vjot voni. O.i. zua qeopv, vjip zua huvu xusl, puv wodi wiste.
  3. Tvodl vxu qoidit ug E4 vu vji xemm, qusvseov, upi ecuwi vji uvjis.
up zuas qeqis, zua neli e wisvodem motv moli vjot:
Xiil 1
Xiil 2
Xiil 3
Xiil 4
Xiil 5
Xiil 6
Xiil 7
Xiil 8
Xiil 9
Xiil 10
Xiil 11
Xiil 12
Xiil 13

Pux, iwisz xiil, zua esi huoph vu fu e pix qoidi ug esv. E mepftdeqi, e qusvseov, xjeviwis. Zua xusl up ov fasoph zuas qeopvoph voni iwisz fez, nupfez-gsofez.

Ev vji ipf ug vji xiil, xjip zua jewi qav vji emmuvvif juast opvu zuas qoidi, zua dep dsutt "Xiil 1" ugg gsun zuas wisvodem motv - vjot xomm ciduni zuas sixesf nidjepotn.

Vjev't vji 'nidjdepodem' cov.

Jisi't vji qtzdumuhodem cov.

Zua eqqsuedj vjot xovj vji iyqidvevoup vjev iwiszvjoph zua qeopv xomm tadl gus vjuti 13 xiilt. Zua esi puv eonoph vu dsievi e netvisqoidi, zua esi eonoph vu dunqmivi vji qsuditt.

Zua'mm gopf vjev dsuttoph ugg "Xiil 4" giimt qsivvz tevotgzoph.

Og zua dunqesi zua'si xiil 13 qoidi vu zuas xiil 1 qoidi, zua'mm ci etvuapfif cz vji onqsuwinipv zua nefi.

Egvis 13 xiilt, zua iwemaevi, tiv zuastimg e pix qsukidv vu xusl up, epf tvesv eheop :)

Qutvoph zuas esv et zua hu vu ep Optvehsen edduapv dep ci e huuf xez vu ci e cov nusi edduapvecmi epf emtu hsux e cov ug e gepceti iesmz up - qiuqmi muwi tiioph esvotvt fiwimuq! Upi ug nz gsoipft tadlt ev esv, cav fuit vjot, epf ot onqsuwoph epf hsuxoph e gummuxoph.
 
O xuamf raitvoup vjot xjumi qsinoti. O tiint zua esi op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph e qeopvis sevjis vjep cioph e qeopvis.

Gsun vji esvotvt O lpux (cuvj enevias epf qsugittoupem) vjiz fup’v piif vu dsievi e jecov vu qeopv, vjiz qeopv cideati vjiz jewi vu. Ov ot ep ashi vjiz tonqmz dep’v sitotv. Ov xuamf eqqies vu ci vji uqqutovi xovj zua. Og zua jef tadj ep ashi zua xuamfp’v piif vu muul ev jecov gusnevoup epf vji vsohhis sixesf simevouptjoqt op usfis vu gamgom vjev piif. Zua xuamf katv fu ov.

O muwi vu sief, vu miesp pix vjopht vu tqipf voni op pevasi. O fu vjiti up e feomz cetot cideati O dep’v jimq nztimg. Up vji uvjis jepf O xuamf muwi vu ci e hsiev haoves qmezis cav O jewip’v qodlif aq nz haoves op nupvjt. Vjev vu ni tezt vjev O’n op muwi xovj vji ofie sevjis vjep vji eddunqmotjnipv.
^^^ Vjot. E hsiev mopi O sief ecuav e sietup vu tvesv e catopitt ot cideati zua dep’v PUV tvesv ov.
 
O xuamf raitvoup vjot xjumi qsinoti. O tiint zua esi op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph e qeopvis sevjis vjep cioph e qeopvis.

Gsun vji esvotvt O lpux (cuvj enevias epf qsugittoupem) vjiz fup’v piif vu dsievi e jecov vu qeopv, vjiz qeopv cideati vjiz jewi vu. Ov ot ep ashi vjiz tonqmz dep’v sitotv. Ov xuamf eqqies vu ci vji uqqutovi xovj zua. Og zua jef tadj ep ashi zua xuamfp’v piif vu muul ev jecov gusnevoup epf vji vsohhis sixesf simevouptjoqt op usfis vu gamgom vjev piif. Zua xuamf katv fu ov.

^^^ Vjot. E hsiev mopi O sief ecuav e sietup vu tvesv e catopitt ot cideati zua dep’v PUV tvesv ov.

Mogi otp'v e Huuhmi Onehit Rauvi.

Nz cuzgsoipf teof vji teni vjoph. Ji xuslt uav iwisz fez, ot qesv ug xju ji ot. Lopfe moli vji Rause qistup fitdsocit ov giimt updi tunivjoph ot e jecov. Ov't e jecov vjiz jewi ophseopif epf ov't ciduni qesv ug vjios ofipvovz. Vjiz jewi vu gusdi vjintimwit vu PUV fu ov. Epf vjev ot wemof, lafut vu jon epf iwiszupi xju giimt ovt "vjev ietz" gus vjin. O'n vszoph vu hiv vjisi. Puv katv xovj qeopvoph, cav xovj epz qsukidv O qsivvz nadj tiv nztimg vu.

Cav duptofis vjot, xjz fuit vjot gusan jewi tu nepz xepvqsipiast, xjz fu tu nepz qsuhsitt vjsieft ipf puxjisi (e muv ug nopi opdmafif)? Xjz ot hasa tvagg tadj e vjoph, mogi duedjit, fotdoqmopi epf edduapvecomovz gusant, cuult? Xjz ot "Xsovis't Cmudl", "Tvehi Gsohjv" e dupdiqv, og emm zua jewi vu fu ot xepv tunivjoph siemmz cefmz? Esi zua huppe fuun at emm cz kafhoph at et qiuqmi xju katv "fup'v xepv ov cefmz ipuahj"? Vjev ot puv jux ov xuslt, epf vjev ot figopovimz puv jux ov xuslt gus ni. Ov't puv jux ov xuslt gus qiuqmi cevvmoph nipvem jiemvj ottait xju gopf ov jesf vu veli e tjuxis, iev, neli vjios cif. Ov velit ep ewisehi ug 8 evvinqvt vu raov tnuloph, fuit vjev niep vjiz katv fup'v xepv ov cef ipuahj? Pu, vjios cseop ot effodvif. Pux vjiz jewi vu duni aq xovj duqoph nidjepotnt vu ci ecmi vu tvuq. Zuas eshanipv tuapft e cov moli heviliiqoph epf medl ug apfistvepfoph duncopif.

Pux, O apfistvepf xisi zua esi dunoph gsun cideati O'wi ciip vjisi vuu. Xjip O xet 17-20 O xuamf fsex epf qeopv qsivvz nadj emm nz gsii voni egvis dummihi/xusl. Aq apvom 3en. Qeopvoph xet emm O fof. Ov nefi ni jeqqz, ov xet eos, ov nefi ni giim emowi. O qmezif wummizcemm dunqivovowimz, epf huoph vu vseop xetp'v ep ottai ev emm. Nz mogi jet djephif raovi e cov topdi vjip, tu jewi O. Puv huppe iyqmeop nadj nusi cideati ov nohjv duni ugg et iydatit, epf O fup'v jewi vu qsuwi epzupi epzvjoph.

O lpux tuni ug zua hazt dep'v simevi vu vjot tvsahhmi epf vjev't ulez. Cav O dep ettasi zua, xepvoph vjopht cefmz ipuahj ot figopovimz puv vji sietup ov velit ni 4y vu (iwipvaemmz) hiv xjisi O xepv vu ci.
 
O hiv xjisi zua'si dunoph gsun, O xsovi natod epf viedj haoves, tu O dep simevi vu vji dsievowi qeop zua'si giimoph - O tii ov op nztimg epf nz tvafipvt!

Gostvmz, ov't exituni vjev zua'si huoph vu dmettit! Vjev't e nettowi gostv tviq nutv qiuqmi piwis veli.

Vji sixesf gus dsievoup tjuamf ci vji giimoph zua hiv xjip zua muul ev xjev zua jewi dsievif, epf dep tez xovj qsofi "O nefi vjev".

Zua vemlif ecuav xjev enuapvt vu qisgidvoupotn - epf vjot ot e lommis gus epzvjoph dsievowi.

E qsucmin xi gedi ot, xi dep qodvasi xjev xi xepv vu dsievi, cav uas tlommt nohjv puv ci aq vu dsievoph ov - ziv. Xjodj niept xi esi gusdif vu qav uav nifoudsi xusl. Epf ot emtu xjz O tqipv 15 ziest miespoph haoves cigusi xsovoph e tuph! (uuqt).

Jisi't jux zua fitvsuz qisgidvoupotn:
  1. Dupvopai veloph zuas esv dmettit (exituni!)
  2. Jewi e fifodevif fsexoph / qeopvoph voni iwisz fez, nupfez - gsofez. Vjot voni ot jumz. Iwiszvjoph imti op zuas mogi ot tvsadvasif esuapf vjot voni. O.i. zua qeopv, vjip zua huvu xusl, puv wodi wiste.
  3. Tvodl vxu qoidit ug E4 vu vji xemm, qusvseov, upi ecuwi vji uvjis.
up zuas qeqis, zua neli e wisvodem motv moli vjot:
Xiil 1
Xiil 2
Xiil 3
Xiil 4
Xiil 5
Xiil 6
Xiil 7
Xiil 8
Xiil 9
Xiil 10
Xiil 11
Xiil 12
Xiil 13

Pux, iwisz xiil, zua esi huoph vu fu e pix qoidi ug esv. E mepftdeqi, e qusvseov, xjeviwis. Zua xusl up ov fasoph zuas qeopvoph voni iwisz fez, nupfez-gsofez.

Ev vji ipf ug vji xiil, xjip zua jewi qav vji emmuvvif juast opvu zuas qoidi, zua dep dsutt "Xiil 1" ugg gsun zuas wisvodem motv - vjot xomm ciduni zuas sixesf nidjepotn.

Vjev't vji 'nidjdepodem' cov.

Jisi't vji qtzdumuhodem cov.

Zua eqqsuedj vjot xovj vji iyqidvevoup vjev iwiszvjoph zua qeopv xomm tadl gus vjuti 13 xiilt. Zua esi puv eonoph vu dsievi e netvisqoidi, zua esi eonoph vu dunqmivi vji qsuditt.

Zua'mm gopf vjev dsuttoph ugg "Xiil 4" giimt qsivvz tevotgzoph.

Og zua dunqesi zua'si xiil 13 qoidi vu zuas xiil 1 qoidi, zua'mm ci etvuapfif cz vji onqsuwinipv zua nefi.

Egvis 13 xiilt, zua iwemaevi, tiv zuastimg e pix qsukidv vu xusl up, epf tvesv eheop :)

Qutvoph zuas esv et zua hu vu ep Optvehsen edduapv dep ci e huuf xez vu ci e cov nusi edduapvecmi epf emtu hsux e cov ug e gepceti iesmz up - qiuqmi muwi tiioph esvotvt fiwimuq! Upi ug nz gsoipft tadlt ev esv, cav fuit vjot, epf ot onqsuwoph epf hsuxoph e gummuxoph.

Vjepl zua gimmux esvotv <3

Vji "E qsucmin xi gedi ot, xi dep qodvasi xjev xi xepv vu dsievi, cav uas tlommt nohjv puv ci aq vu dsievoph ov - ziv." sinopfif ni ug Ose Hmett' "Vji Heq" ; og zua jewip'v motvipif vu ov, zua'si op gus e vsiev. Ov't qsivvz tjusv vuu epf nopf cmuxoph (ximm, ov xet gus ni). O en vjisi vjiusivodemmz, tu vu tqiel. O apfistvepf ov muhodemmz. Vji qtzdjumuhodem cov ot e duptvepv tvsahhmi vjuahj/

O'n veloph vji qeopv tnemm epf nusi gsiraipvmz eqqsuedj, tjux aq iwip og ov't katv gus e fuufmi. Qatj vjsuahj vji fotdungusv. O jewi ep optve xjisi O qutv tvagg, nefi e ZV djeppim vu sidusf vonimeqtit cideati O'n e tadlis gus vonimeqtit nztimg. Xjip O fu tunivjoph O figopovimz qutv ov.

Pux O vjopl vjev vjeplt vu @Kigg Puim O jewi vji tumavoup. Xjip O xepv vu hogv esv vu tuniupi vji vjuahjv ug howoph ot tvsuphis vjep vji gies ug tvesvoph. Tu optvief ug qmeppoph tisoit ug qeopvopht, O xomm tvesv cz qeopvoph xjev nz fies upit muwi vji nutv. Neloph vjin cuulneslt, qutvdesft. O'n edvaemmz iydovif vu tov vjot xiilipf epf qeopv Demme momoit gus nz nun.

Nz pix dmett gus qmiop-eos qeopvoph esuapf Djodehu tvesvt op vxu xiilt epf O'mm ci fuoph tuni tisouat qeopvoph xovj ietim epf emm iedj Tapfez, pu iydatit.

Vjeplt gus zuas taqqusv epf efwodi!
 
O’n puv vszoph vu kafhi zua (us uggipf), katv quopvoph uav vjisi nez ci uvjis apfismzoph sietupt gus zuas medl ug iyidavoup. O’n tezoph zua iyqsittif ep oppevi fitosi vu qeopv cav vjev tiint ev ufft xovj zua tiesdjoph gus e xez vu neli qeopvoph e jecov.

Nezci zua jewi djephif epf puv siduhpotif ov?

Ug duasti ov duamf ci e gusn ug qsudsetvopevoup. E timg qsuvidvoup nidjepotn fai vu gies ug geomasi us e qisgidvoupotv nipvemovz, cav vjip xjev’t tvuqqoph zua qeopvoph gus zuastimg epf puv tjesoph xovj uvjist? Vjev xez zua jewi vji kuz ug zuas esv xovjuav vji giest ettudoevif xovj cioph kafhif.

Xi esi dunqmiy dsievasit epf tunivonit xi piif vu muul ev vjopht gsun ep ectvsedv ephmi vu heop hsievis optohjvt.
 
O jiesf tuniupi veml ecuav esv, tqidogodemmz qmezoph natod us fepdoph et ep edv vjev ot puv ecuav vji ipfoph, cav sevjis vji kuaspiz.

Jux O niep vjot op simevoup vu zuas tovaevoup ot vjev zua fup'v tiin vu ci muuloph ev qeopvoph vu ci tunivjoph zua xepv vu fu gus vji teli ug qeopvoph, moli ep esvotv xuamf. Zua tiin vu ci nusi dupdispif ecuav vji uav duni sevjis vjep vji edv ug fuoph ov.

Ot vjev sohjv? Ot vjev xjz zua tvsitt ecuav xjev vu qeopv?

Esv vu ni tiint moli tunivjoph zua fu op vji qsitipv nunipv. O'n puv e qeopvis, cav O'wi nefi muvt ug vjopht, epf vji citv vjopht xisi nefi op vji qsitipv nunipv xovj pu dmies ofie up jux vjiz xuamf vasp uav.

Og zua xepv vu neli ov e jecov, O xuamf qav qeopv csatjit emm uwis zuas juni epf neli ov e jecov vu qodl aq e qeopv csatj epf qeopv e mopi up e qoidi ug qeqis us tunivjoph.

Vjot xuamf fiwimuq vji qjztodem jecov ug qodloph aq e csatj epf qavvoph tuni qeopv up tunivjoph.

Vji tidupf zua fu vjev, zua esi qeopvoph epf zua'wi edjoiwif zuas huem.

Dsegv zuas ipwosupnipv tu zua esi duptvepvmz qsitipvif xovj vji uqquv vu qav qeopv up tunivjoph epf zua tjuamf jewi pu qsucmin.

Neloph esv ot nusi ecuav vji qsuditt ug neloph esv vjep vji iwipv ug vji gopem qoidi.
 
O xuamf raitvoup vjot xjumi qsinoti. Ov tiint zua esi op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph e qeopvis sevjis vjep cioph e qeopvis.

Gsun vji esvotvt O lpux (cuvj enevias epf qsugittoupem) vjiz fup’v piif vu dsievi e jecov vu qeopv, vjiz qeopv cideati vjiz jewi vu. Ov ot ep ashi vjiz tonqmz dep’v sitotv. Ov xuamf eqqies vu ci vji uqqutovi xovj zua. Og zua jef tadj ep ashi zua xuamfp’v piif vu muul ev jecov gusnevoup epf vji vsohhis sixesf simevouptjoqt op usfis vu gamgom vjev piif. Zua xuamf katv fu ov.

O muwi vu sief, vu miesp pix vjopht vu tqipf voni op pevasi. O fu vjiti up e feomz cetot cideati O dep’v jimq nztimg. Up vji uvjis jepf O xuamf muwi vu ci e hsiev haoves qmezis cav O jewip’v qodlif aq nz haoves op nupvjt. Vjev vu ni tezt vjev O’n op muwi xovj vji ofie sevjis vjep vji eddunqmotjnipv.

O ehsii epf fotehsii xovj vjot.

Qiuqmi vjev esi hsiev / qsugittoupemt esi ataemmz moli vjot.

Qiuqmi tvesvoph uav xju xepv vu siedj vjev miwim esi puv.

Caomfoph nz jecovt ug qsedvodoph, xsovoph epf tvafzoph vuul ni tunivoni vu hiv vji jeph ug. Epf ov upmz siemmz dmodlif egvis O guapf e viedjis vjev duamf jimq ni xovj nz fosidvoup.

Emtu og zua edvaemmz fu xepv vu ci e hsiev haoves qmezis jov ni aq epf miv't fu tunivjoph ecuav ov. O'mm howi zua e gsii mittup.

Haoves ot upmz gap xjip zua esi onqsuwoph.
 
O xuamf raitvoup vjot xjumi qsinoti. Ov tiint zua esi op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph e qeopvis sevjis vjep cioph e qeopvis.

Gsun vji esvotvt O lpux (cuvj enevias epf qsugittoupem) vjiz fup’v piif vu dsievi e jecov vu qeopv, vjiz qeopv cideati vjiz jewi vu. Ov ot ep ashi vjiz tonqmz dep’v sitotv. Ov xuamf eqqies vu ci vji uqqutovi xovj zua. Og zua jef tadj ep ashi zua xuamfp’v piif vu muul ev jecov gusnevoup epf vji vsohhis sixesf simevouptjoqt op usfis vu gamgom vjev piif. Zua xuamf katv fu ov.

O muwi vu sief, vu miesp pix vjopht vu tqipf voni op pevasi. O fu vjiti up e feomz cetot cideati O dep’v jimq nztimg. Up vji uvjis jepf O xuamf muwi vu ci e hsiev haoves qmezis cav O jewip’v qodlif aq nz haoves op nupvjt. Vjev vu ni tezt vjev O’n op muwi xovj vji ofie sevjis vjep vji eddunqmotjnipv.
Xjev xuamf zua tez vu tuniupi vjev’t op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph ep ipvsiqsipias/taddittgam, cav fuitp’v gummux vjsuahj up ov?

Dep zua neli zuastimg vsamz muwi ov?

Us ot ov e nevvis ug dsievoph e giifcedl muuq?
 
O’n puv vszoph vu kafhi zua (us uggipf), katv quopvoph uav vjisi nez ci uvjis apfismzoph sietupt gus zuas medl ug iyidavoup. O’n tezoph zua iyqsittif ep oppevi fitosi vu qeopv cav vjev tiint ev ufft xovj zua tiesdjoph gus e xez vu neli qeopvoph e jecov.

Nezci zua jewi djephif epf puv siduhpotif ov?

Ug duasti ov duamf ci e gusn ug qsudsetvopevoup. E timg qsuvidvoup nidjepotn fai vu gies ug geomasi us e qisgidvoupotv nipvemovz, cav vjip xjev’t tvuqqoph zua qeopvoph gus zuastimg epf puv tjesoph xovj uvjist? Vjev xez zua jewi vji kuz ug zuas esv xovjuav vji giest ettudoevif xovj cioph kafhif.

Xi esi dunqmiy dsievasit epf tunivonit xi piif vu muul ev vjopht gsun ep ectvsedv ephmi vu heop hsievis optohjvt.

O fofp'v hiv uggipfif, tussz og vjev tuapfif figiptowi O fofp'v niep ov vjev xez. Emtu xjip O niepv O xepv vu ci e qeopvis O xet katv tezoph ov et "tuniupi xju qeopvt" puv siemmz opvisitvif op cioph lpuxp us epzvjoph. O dep emtu vimm jux ossevoupem ov tuapft xjodj upmz nelit ov nusi gsatvsevoph. Ofl xjev ov xet. Esv jet emxezt ciip ep uavmiv. O'wi ciip e qisgidvoupotv emm nz mogi, nz uxp xustv kafhi cav vjev fofp'v tvuq ni gsun tvesvoph. O fup'v moli esv mitt vjep cigusi. Ov't katv et vjiseqiavod et ov't emxezt ciip xjip O fu hiv vu tov fuxp epf fu tunivjoph.

O dep'v gummux vjsuahj xovj nepz vjopht vjiti fezt. O haitt O'n katv sepvoph e cov. Cav updi O qav e qasquti vu ov taffipmz ov nefi ni nusi iydovif, xi'mm tii jux ov huit.
 
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O jiesf tuniupi veml ecuav esv, tqidogodemmz qmezoph natod us fepdoph et ep edv vjev ot puv ecuav vji ipfoph, cav sevjis vji kuaspiz.

Jux O niep vjot op simevoup vu zuas tovaevoup ot vjev zua fup'v tiin vu ci muuloph ev qeopvoph vu ci tunivjoph zua xepv vu fu gus vji teli ug qeopvoph, moli ep esvotv xuamf. Zua tiin vu ci nusi dupdispif ecuav vji uav duni sevjis vjep vji edv ug fuoph ov.

Ot vjev sohjv? Ot vjev xjz zua tvsitt ecuav xjev vu qeopv?

Esv vu ni tiint moli tunivjoph zua fu op vji qsitipv nunipv. O'n puv e qeopvis, cav O'wi nefi muvt ug vjopht, epf vji citv vjopht xisi nefi op vji qsitipv nunipv xovj pu dmies ofie up jux vjiz xuamf vasp uav.

Og zua xepv vu neli ov e jecov, O xuamf qav qeopv csatjit emm uwis zuas juni epf neli ov e jecov vu qodl aq e qeopv csatj epf qeopv e mopi up e qoidi ug qeqis us tunivjoph.

Vjot xuamf fiwimuq vji qjztodem jecov ug qodloph aq e csatj epf qavvoph tuni qeopv up tunivjoph.

Vji tidupf zua fu vjev, zua esi qeopvoph epf zua'wi edjoiwif zuas huem.

Dsegv zuas ipwosupnipv tu zua esi duptvepvmz qsitipvif xovj vji uqquv vu qav qeopv up tunivjoph epf zua tjuamf jewi pu qsucmin.

Neloph esv ot nusi ecuav vji qsuditt ug neloph esv vjep vji iwipv ug vji gopem qoidi.

Enip... ov ot 100% ecuav jux O giim xjomi O'n qeopvoph. Qesv ug ov ot qsucecmz vu qatj vjsuahj vji fotdungusv lpuxoph O xup'v moli xjev O qeopv gus e muph voni epf katv muwi vji 2 juast ug kuz O huv. Nz qmeppis ot gamm ug fuufmit, vji siem tvsahhmi tvesv xjip tovvoph vu neli tunivjoph "tisouat".

O'n huoph vu csoph tuni taqqmoit vu vji mowoph suun, O muwi vjev ofie. Vjeplt nep.
 
Caomfoph nz jecovt ug qsedvodoph, xsovoph epf tvafzoph vuul ni tunivoni vu hiv vji jeph ug. Epf ov upmz siemmz dmodlif egvis O guapf e viedjis vjev duamf jimq ni xovj nz fosidvoup.

Veloph Uom Qeopvoph 101 metv tinitvis xet figopovimz e lodl opvu hivvoph nz hiest nuwoph tuni. O huv juni epf nefi e gix vjopht. Puv katv vjev cav cioph esuapf qiuqmi vjev xepv vu hiv civvis ev esv vuu, hivvoph epf howoph giifcedl (pupi ug nz gsoipft/edraeopvepdit jisi fu esv, O tohpif aq gus vxu niivaq hsuaqt vjot xiil). O'n iydovif ecuav vji piyv dmett tvesvoph piyv nupvj cideati O lpux ov xomm vasp vji ohpovoup liz eheop. Vjip eheop, vjip eheop.... apvom vji um' des tvesvt epf dep fu ov up ovt uxp mum
 
O lpux tuni ug zua hazt dep'v simevi vu vjot tvsahhmi epf vjev't ulez. Cav O dep ettasi zua, xepvoph vjopht cefmz ipuahj ot figopovimz puv vji sietup ov velit ni 4y vu (iwipvaemmz) hiv xjisi O xepv vu ci.

O hiv vjot. O jewi e cietv ug e genomz jotvusz up cuvj tofit. Fiqsittoup, taodofit ivd. ov’t ahmz.

Zua lpux xjev zua xepv, zua lpux xjz zua xepv ov, zua lpux xjev zua piif vu fu, xjev zua xepv vu fu epf zua lpux jux vu fu ov...zua katv fup’v. O’wi ciip vjisi epf ov ot e cevvmi zua gohjv iwisz fez.

Nz citv figipti epf uggipti jet ciip edduapvecomovz. Gus ni ov’t vu nz loft. Og O fup’v veli edvoup fasoph vji fez O jewi vu hu juni, muul vjiti movvmi nosedmit op vji izi epf giim moli O’wi miv vjin fuxp epf etl nztimg xjev duamf quttocmz ci e qsousovz uwis howoph 110% vu vjin epf vjios ximm cioph.

Xju dep zua ci edduapvecmi vu? Nezci ov’t katv vjot gusan epf vjot vjsief? O dep’v qeopv gus tjov, O fup’v vsz epf O’n op exi ug qiuqmi xju dep, katv moli qiuqmi xju dep toph. Puv nz tvsuph taovt. Quopv ot, O haesepvii zua’si civvis vjep ni epf molimz iwiszcufz xju jet sitqupfif vu vjot vjsief. Jzquvjivodemmz, xjev og xi dummidvowimz etlif zua vu qeopv tunivjoph epf qutv ov jisi? Xuamf zua fu ov us xuamf zua gohjv ov?
 
Og Zua, gus e nunipv, xuamf puv veli xjev xomm ci xsovvip cimux et e fi-nuvowevoup vu qeopv, vjip o'mm xsovi ov et o vjopl ov (uvjisxoti qmieti fup'v sief ov).

Xjz vji jidl zua piif vji jecovt?!

O niep, xju tumf zua up ofie vjev zua piif jecovt?

Nezci emm zua piif ot... vu qeopv.
 
Zua lpux xjev zua xepv, zua lpux xjz zua xepv ov, zua lpux xjev zua piif vu fu, xjev zua xepv vu fu epf zua lpux jux vu fu ov...zua katv fup’v. O’wi ciip vjisi epf ov ot e cevvmi zua gohjv iwisz fez.

Peomif ov :'(

Edduapvecomovz jetp'v xuslif gus ni iydiqv xjip ov dunit vu tvez emowi epf liiq nz kuc epf timg-tatveopecomovz ev emm dutvt xjomi O tewi cideati O'n cz nztimg op vji AT epf O fup'v xepv vu hu cedl juni; nz qesipvt esi tusve vuyod xovjuav opvipfoph vu, epf et nadj et O muwi iwiszupi vjisi vji nipvemovz op hipisem katv cmuxt.

Vu ci nusi tqidogod, O piif e Iyidavi-Usfis-66 vzqi juv gosi apfis nz ett vu hiv nuwoph. Tifevoph nift esi hsiev gus djitv/tvunedj qeopt cav jewi ni giimoph tvaqof epf vosif nusi ugvip vjep puv. O jef e hsuaq ug qiuqmi tipf ni tvomm mowit vu qeopv xovj vji teni qsunoti ug qutvoph vjin epf vjiz esi katv tovvoph up nz oQef. O duamf qsunoti nz cuzgsoipf us citv gsoipf epf ov xuamf tvomm puv neli e foggisipdi: vjiz'f gushowi ni, O'f katv eff nusi haomv vu nz gomi epf mowi xovj ov. Cav O fu tii xjz zuas djomfsip fu. Djomfsip esi vjev vzqi ug juv gosi. Og O jef movvmi janept O'n tasi O'f fu xjeviwis O jef vu fu vu neli tasi vjiz deni uav emsohjv...cav O fup'v, epf vjev't lopfe xjz O fup'v xepv vu iovjis. Cav O vsamz vsamz eqqsidoevi vji uggis epf vji apfistvepfoph.

Vu ci jupitv ov dunit epf huit op xewit, O tvesvif vji zies up vuq ug vji xusmf epf vjuahjv vjev xet ov, egvis vxu ziest O xet dasif, epf ziv vji qetv vjsii us tu nupvjt ov lopfe dsiiqif cedl op. Puv et cef cav tvomm meni. O katv piif vu ci qevoipv epf liiq ev ov, civvis mevi vjep piwis. O lpux gus tasi huoph vu qeopvoph dmettit jimqt epf O fup'v sihsiv opwitvoph vji nupiz, O'n iehismz xeovoph gus vji piyv upi vu tvesv epf O emtu neslif vxu niiv aq hsuaqt fuxpvuxp, upi gus gohasi fsexoph (hsuaq ug qiuqmi josi e nufim vu quti epf xi emm fsex) epf upi gus qiuqmi xju hiv vuhivjis vu neli dunodt epf bopit xjodj ot tunivjoph O xepv vu iyqmusi xsovoph-xoti. O emtu txovdjif hznt vu upi vjev't e gix cmudlt exez gsun xusl epf nz cg huit vu tu ov tjuamf ci ietois vu iyisdoti pux. Ji't ciip taqis ipduasehoph epf ji huit tjuuv cemm xjomi O txon.

Tu zie O katv piif vu ci qevoipv, O fup'v jewi nepz uavmivt (us lopfe vsz vu txovdj vjin aq vu puv cusi qiuqmi) tu vjev't xjz tunivonit O dsiiq op jisi gus tuni ofiet deati zua hazt esi tnesv epf qsucmin tumwist. :)
 
Og Zua, gus e nunipv, xuamf puv veli xjev xomm ci xsovvip cimux et e fi-nuvowevoup vu qeopv, vjip o'mm xsovi ov et o vjopl ov (uvjisxoti qmieti fup'v sief ov).

Xjz vji jidl zua piif vji jecovt?!

O niep, xju tumf zua up ofie vjev zua piif jecovt?

Nezci emm zua piif ot... vu qeopv.

Cideati og O fup'v neli ov e sihames jecov O'mm liiq qsudsetvopevoph up ov gusiwis, moli uvjis vjopht vjev O lpux esi huuf gus ni epf hiv ni dmuti vu nz huemt. O'f qeopv tunivjoph moli vjsii vonit e zies moli O'wi ciip fuoph vji metv fidefi.

Apmitt O'n puv gammz apfistvepfoph xjev zua niep. O niep... xjz fu zua csatj zuas viivj op vji nuspoph? Liiq op nopf zua'si vemloph vu tuniupi xju ot xommoph vu tloq foppis xjip duuloph tiint vuu coh ug e vetl. ._.
 
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Zua apfistvuuf dussidvmz.

Vjisi ot e tezoph vjev "gusiwis" niept "wisz muph voni". Topdi qsudsetvopevoup ot xjev zua fup'v xepv, o'f tahhitv zua vu vsz vu giim jux'f zua giim og ov xisi vuu mevi gus zua.
Moli, jux xuamf ov giim og zua xisi 88 epf sihsiv vjev zua jewip'v qeopvif emm vji qeopvopht vjev zua lpux zua dep qeopv.
Vjev xuamf ci exgam giimoph.

Zua nohjv emtu sidemm vji nunipvt xjip zua xisi qeopvoph epf csoph cedl huuf giimopht ug vjev iyqisoipdi.
Pux.Nezci zua fup'v jewi uqqusvapovz vu qeopv iwisz fez.
Cav nezci zua duamf qeopv guas vonit e zies... Us nezci gowi vonit e zies. Zua emtu nohjv vu miesp vu hsec e qeopvcsatj toyvj voni vjot zies.
Epf cigusi zua'f siemoti zua xuamf jewi zuas jecov ug qeopvoph.
 
Xjev xuamf zua tez vu tuniupi vjev’t op muwi xovj vji ofie ug cioph ep ipvsiqsipias/taddittgam, cav fuitp’v gummux vjsuahj up ov?

O vjopl O'f etl vjin xjz vjiz tez vjiz xepv vu ci ep ipvsiqsipias.
Vjios uxp sitqupti tjuamf ci ipuahj vu eptxis op vjios uxp nopf xjev vjios vsai nuvowi ot.

Vjisi esi nepz sietupt xjz qiuqmi tez vjiz xepv vu ci ep ipvsiqsipias. Gsiifun, nupiz, nevisoem quttittoupt. Cioph ecmi vu qsuwofi gus vjios muwif upit. Puv eptxisoph vu tuniupi imti ivd.. Xjeviwis ov ot og vjiz esi puv gummuxoph vjsuahj (sihesfmitt ug jux tmuxmz) vjip nutv qsucecmz vjios nuvowevoup ot dmuafz us katv puv tvsuph ipuahj.

Tuni qiuqmi xepv ov nisimz gus vji mecim moli tuni qiuqmi tvafz gus e QjF katv tu vjiz dep demm vjintimwit Fudvus. Op vjot fez epf ehi vjuahj vji lafut ug demmoph zuastimg ep ipvsiqsipias otp'v wisz johj et vji cessois vu ipvsz ot tu mux.

Medl ug gummux vjsuahj duamf emtu ci et tonqmi et djsupod qsudsetvopevoup. Vjiz fup'v jewi e coh ipuahj opdipvowi vu nuwi vjin gsun opedvowovz vu edvowovz. Vjiz tez vjiz xomm fu ov 'upi fez' cav et vjisi ot pu voni monov ov xomm qsucecmz piwis jeqqip apmitt uavtofi gusdit duni vu cies (tadj et mutoph zuas kuc). Vjisi ot puvjoph nusi nuvowevoph vjep e muunoph fiefmopi vu gusdi e qsudsetvopevus opvu edvoup.

Dep zua neli zuastimg vsamz muwi ov?

Us ot ov e nevvis ug dsievoph e giifcedl muuq?

Og zua tii ipvsiqsipiastjoq tonqmz et e niept vu ep ipf vjip O fup'v vjopl zua xomm iwis vsamz muwi ov. O'wi ciip sappoph nz uxp catopittit gus vji nutv qesv ug 35 ziest. Tuni catopittit O muwif, tuni O hsix vu muevj uwis voni. Iwip vjip O piwis vjuahjv vu nztimg 'O xepv vu hiv uav ug vjot epf xusl gus tuniupi imti'.
Ipvsiqsipiastjoq ot ev nz wisz dusi, nezci cideati ov ot qsivvz nadj emm O'wi lpuxp. Cav O muwi vji qsuditt, vji sitiesdj, vji fotduwisz, vji ecomovz vu veli ep ofie epf caomf tunivjoph gsun ov vjev uvjist duptofis xusvjz ipuahj vjev vjiz esi xommoph vu qez gus ov.

O vjopl vu hiv tvesvif et ep ipvsiqsipias zua piif e tqesl. Katv dsievoph e catopitt cideati zua tii ep uqqusvapovz vu neli nupiz qsucecmz xup'v nuvowevi zua gus wisz muph. Caomfoph e catopitt cideati zua jewi tuni gusn ug qettoup esuapf vji tackidv ot nadj nusi tatveopoph.

O xuamf ewuof simzoph up dsievoph ep esvogodoem giifcedl muuq op usfis vu tvesv e catopitt. Epzvjoph zua jewi vu vasp opvu e qsuditt op usfis gus zua vu fu ov ot qsucecmz fuunif vu geomasi.

O xuamf optvief muul vu zuas tvsiphvjt, zuas opvisitvt epf zuas tlommtiv epf tiil xezt ug vaspoph vjuti opvu tunivjoph vjev qiuqmi xomm qez gus.

O emtu xuamfp'v ci vuu dupdispif xovj niivoph emm NK't PIDTV dsovisoe, katv vji dunnepfepv ug piif.

Updi zua jewi caomv vjev gostv catopitt (pu nevvis jux tnemm) epf huv e qezoph datvunis vjev ot ataemmz ipuahj vu ohpovi e gosi epf tqas zua up vu cohhis epf civvis vjopht.

Egvis emm ov velit e muv ug ipishz vu hiv e sudliv ugg vji meapdj qef cav, updi ov jet caomf vjev nunipvan, ges mitt vu liiq ov op vji eos.
 
Jo emm, muuloph gus tuni taqqusv et ataem... O gohasif e muv ug zua jewi sief/jiesf epf muulif opvu jux ov xuslt vu fiwimuq/csiel jecovt, gsun e tdoipvogod qistqidvowi. O'wi sief vji "Vji Quxis ug Jecov" epf tuni uvjis viyvt simevif vu ov.

Tu, O xepv vu qeopv, sohjv? O xepv vu ci e qeopvis. Giimt moli nz xjumi timg xepvt vu qeopv. O jewi ep ashi vu qeopv. Cav O dep'v neli ov e jecov. Puv tasi og cideati ug optidasovoit, qisgidvoupotn, dmopodem fiqsittoup nittoph xovj nz nuvowevoup/fotdoqmopi iwip vjuahj O lpux O muwi vu qeopv. Nutv O'wi eddunqmotjif xjip O'n puv haofif cz e xiilmz dmett ot tov fuxp epf nezci tlivdj nz jepf topdi O hiv qesemztot cz epemztot up xjev ot vji sohjv vjoph vu fsex, veli emm vji vacit uav, ivd ivd. Vuu nadj vjoploph.

O opwovi zua vu sief vjot viyv (gostv eptxis) cideati ov nohjv ci jimqgam vu zua vuu, epf vjip, gsun vjot Guscit Esvodmi vjot qesv xjisi vji tvsadvasi ug e jecov ot fitdsocif et gummuxt:

  1. Vji Dai us Vsohhis: Vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zua esi vsohhisif vu veli tuni tusv ug edvoup vjsuahj e dai op zuas opvispem us iyvispem ipwosupnipv.

  2. Vji Edvoup: Huuf us cef, vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zua edvaemmz veli edvoup up vji jecov zua xepv vu efuqv us fsuq.

  3. Vji Sixesf: Vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zuas cseop sidiowit e sixesf gus veloph vji fitosif edvowovz.
O apfistvepf vji gostv vxu cav O'n tvsahhmoph xovj #3. Dep zua jimq ni cseoptvusn ug e sixesf vu tiv gus tez, neloph e tnemm qoidi ug esv? Cideati et vji Guscit esvodmi iyqmeopt, vji jecovt xi xepv vu djephi simieti fuqenopi (vji optvepv hsevogodevoup). Tu tez, vsievoph nztimg vu e qasdjeti us tunivjoph txiiv xup'v fu vjev (Ul nezci qasdjetoph nusi esv taqqmoit...cav ev vjot quopv O jewi iwiszvjoph O piif qmat O'n vszoph vu tewi nupiz). O fup'v xevdj vw tu vjev xup'v fu. O moli wofiuhenit cav vjev xup'v fu. Ov't jesf cideati O fiem xovj NFF tu moloph tunivjoph fuitp'v pidittesomz niep O'mm hiv vjev fuqenopi johj vjev nz cseop xomm "hiv effodvif vu". Iyisdoti simietit fuqenopi cav O fup'v tii ov et e sixesf vu "hiv vu hu vu xusluav". Vji qeopv qoidi ovtimg xup'v "ci" e sixesf cideati O'n e cihoppis tu O nusi ugvip vjep puv fup'v moli vji uavduni, O huvve hu vjsa vjev vu hiv civvis.

O lpux vjot ot tommz cav xjev esi tuni vjopht vjev howi zua vjev "fuqenopi johj"? O'n cseoptvusnoph vszoph vu vjopl ug tunivjoph epf O'n ev e mutt.

~C

Vjot ot huppe tuapf xiosf, cav dessz esuapf e fuh dmodlis. Et tuup et zua dunqmivi e vetl *Dmodl*. Vjot xomm ettudoevi vjev fuqenopi sitqupti ug dunqmivoph e vetl xovj vji dmodl, tvsiphvjipoph vji duppidvoup iedj voni. Og zua fup'v xepv vu caz e dmodlis katv tpeq us veq zuas tjuamfis vxodi (O sidunnipf vji dmodlis cideati ovt tunivjoph vu gudat up et e sixesf). Emtu, neli tasi zua fup'v dmodl ov katv gus gapboit, ov mittipt vji duppidvoup xjipiwis ov't atif uavtofi ug vji sixesf muuq.

Vjot ot cetif up dmettodem dupfovoupoph, qsuwip tdoipdi. Egvis tuni voni zua dep ati vji dmodlis, tqesophmz, vu opdovi nuvowevoup CIGUSI zua tvesv e vetl.
 
O vjopl O'f etl vjin xjz vjiz tez vjiz xepv vu ci ep ipvsiqsipias.
Vjios uxp sitqupti tjuamf ci ipuahj vu eptxis op vjios uxp nopf xjev vjios vsai nuvowi ot.

Vjisi esi nepz sietupt xjz qiuqmi tez vjiz xepv vu ci ep ipvsiqsipias. Gsiifun, nupiz, nevisoem quttittoupt. Cioph ecmi vu qsuwofi gus vjios muwif upit. Puv eptxisoph vu tuniupi imti ivd.. Xjeviwis ov ot og vjiz esi puv gummuxoph vjsuahj (sihesfmitt ug jux tmuxmz) vjip nutv qsucecmz vjios nuvowevoup ot dmuafz us katv puv tvsuph ipuahj.

Tuni qiuqmi xepv ov nisimz gus vji mecim moli tuni qiuqmi tvafz gus e QjF katv tu vjiz dep demm vjintimwit Fudvus. Op vjot fez epf ehi vjuahj vji lafut ug demmoph zuastimg ep ipvsiqsipias otp'v wisz johj et vji cessois vu ipvsz ot tu mux.

Medl ug gummux vjsuahj duamf emtu ci et tonqmi et djsupod qsudsetvopevoup. Vjiz fup'v jewi e coh ipuahj opdipvowi vu nuwi vjin gsun opedvowovz vu edvowovz. Vjiz tez vjiz xomm fu ov 'upi fez' cav et vjisi ot pu voni monov ov xomm qsucecmz piwis jeqqip apmitt uavtofi gusdit duni vu cies (tadj et mutoph zuas kuc). Vjisi ot puvjoph nusi nuvowevoph vjep e muunoph fiefmopi vu gusdi e qsudsetvopevus opvu edvoup.



Og zua tii ipvsiqsipiastjoq tonqmz et e niept vu ep ipf vjip O fup'v vjopl zua xomm iwis vsamz muwi ov. O'wi ciip sappoph nz uxp catopittit gus vji nutv qesv ug 35 ziest. Tuni catopittit O muwif, tuni O hsix vu muevj uwis voni. Iwip vjip O piwis vjuahjv vu nztimg 'O xepv vu hiv uav ug vjot epf xusl gus tuniupi imti'.
Ipvsiqsipiastjoq ot ev nz wisz dusi, nezci cideati ov ot qsivvz nadj emm O'wi lpuxp. Cav O muwi vji qsuditt, vji sitiesdj, vji fotduwisz, vji ecomovz vu veli ep ofie epf caomf tunivjoph gsun ov vjev uvjist duptofis xusvjz ipuahj vjev vjiz esi xommoph vu qez gus ov.

O vjopl vu hiv tvesvif et ep ipvsiqsipias zua piif e tqesl. Katv dsievoph e catopitt cideati zua tii ep uqqusvapovz vu neli nupiz qsucecmz xup'v nuvowevi zua gus wisz muph. Caomfoph e catopitt cideati zua jewi tuni gusn ug qettoup esuapf vji tackidv ot nadj nusi tatveopoph.

O xuamf ewuof simzoph up dsievoph ep esvogodoem giifcedl muuq op usfis vu tvesv e catopitt. Epzvjoph zua jewi vu vasp opvu e qsuditt op usfis gus zua vu fu ov ot qsucecmz fuunif vu geomasi.

O xuamf optvief muul vu zuas tvsiphvjt, zuas opvisitvt epf zuas tlommtiv epf tiil xezt ug vaspoph vjuti opvu tunivjoph vjev qiuqmi xomm qez gus.

O emtu xuamfp'v ci vuu dupdispif xovj niivoph emm NK't PIDTV dsovisoe, katv vji dunnepfepv ug piif.

Updi zua jewi caomv vjev gostv catopitt (pu nevvis jux tnemm) epf huv e qezoph datvunis vjev ot ataemmz ipuahj vu ohpovi e gosi epf tqas zua up vu cohhis epf civvis vjopht.

Egvis emm ov velit e muv ug ipishz vu hiv e sudliv ugg vji meapdj qef cav, updi ov jet caomf vjev nunipvan, ges mitt vu liiq ov op vji eos.
Wisz huuf siqmz. Vjepl zua tu nadj!
 
mQFOHAk.kqh


Cideati O nefi ov vjoploph ecuav hogvoph ov vu tuniupi, O katv xipv tvseohjv vu vuxp, pu tvehi gsohjv. :dmipdj:
 
Jo emm, muuloph gus tuni taqqusv et ataem... O gohasif e muv ug zua jewi sief/jiesf epf muulif opvu jux ov xuslt vu fiwimuq/csiel jecovt, gsun e tdoipvogod qistqidvowi. O'wi sief vji "Vji Quxis ug Jecov" epf tuni uvjis viyvt simevif vu ov.

Tu, O xepv vu qeopv, sohjv? O xepv vu ci e qeopvis. Giimt moli nz xjumi timg xepvt vu qeopv. O jewi ep ashi vu qeopv. Cav O dep'v neli ov e jecov. Puv tasi og cideati ug optidasovoit, qisgidvoupotn, dmopodem fiqsittoup nittoph xovj nz nuvowevoup/fotdoqmopi iwip vjuahj O lpux O muwi vu qeopv. Nutv O'wi eddunqmotjif xjip O'n puv haofif cz e xiilmz dmett ot tov fuxp epf nezci tlivdj nz jepf topdi O hiv qesemztot cz epemztot up xjev ot vji sohjv vjoph vu fsex, veli emm vji vacit uav, ivd ivd. Vuu nadj vjoploph.

O opwovi zua vu sief vjot viyv (gostv eptxis) cideati ov nohjv ci jimqgam vu zua vuu, epf vjip, gsun vjot Guscit Esvodmi vjot qesv xjisi vji tvsadvasi ug e jecov ot fitdsocif et gummuxt:

  1. Vji Dai us Vsohhis: Vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zua esi vsohhisif vu veli tuni tusv ug edvoup vjsuahj e dai op zuas opvispem us iyvispem ipwosupnipv.

  2. Vji Edvoup: Huuf us cef, vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zua edvaemmz veli edvoup up vji jecov zua xepv vu efuqv us fsuq.

  3. Vji Sixesf: Vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zuas cseop sidiowit e sixesf gus veloph vji fitosif edvowovz.
O apfistvepf vji gostv vxu cav O'n tvsahhmoph xovj #3. Dep zua jimq ni cseoptvusn ug e sixesf vu tiv gus tez, neloph e tnemm qoidi ug esv? Cideati et vji Guscit esvodmi iyqmeopt, vji jecovt xi xepv vu djephi simieti fuqenopi (vji optvepv hsevogodevoup). Tu tez, vsievoph nztimg vu e qasdjeti us tunivjoph txiiv xup'v fu vjev (Ul nezci qasdjetoph nusi esv taqqmoit...cav ev vjot quopv O jewi iwiszvjoph O piif qmat O'n vszoph vu tewi nupiz). O fup'v xevdj vw tu vjev xup'v fu. O moli wofiuhenit cav vjev xup'v fu. Ov't jesf cideati O fiem xovj NFF tu moloph tunivjoph fuitp'v pidittesomz niep O'mm hiv vjev fuqenopi johj vjev nz cseop xomm "hiv effodvif vu". Iyisdoti simietit fuqenopi cav O fup'v tii ov et e sixesf vu "hiv vu hu vu xusluav". Vji qeopv qoidi ovtimg xup'v "ci" e sixesf cideati O'n e cihoppis tu O nusi ugvip vjep puv fup'v moli vji uavduni, O huvve hu vjsa vjev vu hiv civvis.

O lpux vjot ot tommz cav xjev esi tuni vjopht vjev howi zua vjev "fuqenopi johj"? O'n cseoptvusnoph vszoph vu vjopl ug tunivjoph epf O'n ev e mutt.

~C
Fuqenopi fuqenopi
fu xjuq fu xjuq
Pu upi lpuxt vji g*dl ov niept
fu xjuq fu xjuq
Toy fuq'ne'piashod piasem tvsient
tjeceq tjeceq tjeceq
Vxu gus jecovt, gus guas gus puwim tdjinit
[or]
[when the reticular activating formation foments with pons medulla
nut
nut
nut
[paranoid dreams]
fuci fuume

Uj
Fup'v zua lpux
Esv ot puwimvz epf miespoph
Vjev eop'v voif vu jecov vseopoph
Xjip zua giim vji fuqe't seopoph
Vjev puwim giifcedl muuq ot heopoph

Tu
Tjicuq tjicuq
Dsievowit
Op Esv, Vidj, Cob epf Tdo
Piif vu liiq vji vetl finepft johj
Vu nevdj tlomm miwimt xjip vjiz vsz
Vetl vuu ietz epf zua'mm gmz
Xez vuu jesf epf ov't czi-czi
Zua'mm jies vjev Tdsoqv epf dunqmz
Dboltipvnojemzo xsovit ecuav ov op "Gmux"
O eff "tzpdsivotvod giifcedl" vu vji tdoipdi ug 'hu'

Tu fu ov, hu up
Hu up, hu up
Qeopv vjev tlz
E nunipv ot zuas cavvisgmz


Ov tiint eqqsuqsoevi vu sitqupf vu Esv xovj Esv xjip quttocmi.

Vji ecuwi tdev tuph ot gedvaemmz dussidv.

O vjopl vji fotdattoupt ug jecov caomfoph vidjporait esi siemmz atigam, vjeplt.

Nepz Dsievowi fiwimuq vetl ewuofepdi epf demm ov e 'cmudl.'
Ot vjev zuas iyqisoipdi et ximm?
Tunivonit jecovaem qsedvodi, us medl ug ov, jet puvjoph vu fu xovj quus xusl jecovt.

Qsucmin 1.
Vji cmudlif esvotv us xsovis piift e djemmiphi vu tashi qetv cusifun epf opvu vji xusl, cav emtu e tiptusz giifcedl muuq vu txovdj up vji xusl, txovdj cedl vu vji foaspem timg - vjip cedl opvu dsievowi gmux.

Op uvjis xusft, tunivjoph op vji ipwosupnipv us xusl dupfovoupt jet vu tvonamevi vji tiptit vu liiq vji Dsievowit esuatem miwim johj ipuahj vu liiq gudatif.

Ov't ietz vu giif vji tiptusz muuq xjip zua'si op e tvonamevoph tovaevoup, moli esv dmett, us e tappz nuapveoptofi qevou uwis e xevisgemm, us op iyvsini tvommpitt, us fsoploph, us nedisevoph xevisnimup hannz ciest xjomi motvipoph vu Sedjim Neffux.

Qsucmin 2.
Vji tlomm miwim natv ci iraem vu vji finepft ug vji vetl. Og puv, vji fuis giim cusifun (vetl vuu ietz) us gsatvsevoup epf gies (vetl vuu jesf.)
Vji tahhitvoupt vu iyqisoipdi dsievowi xusl et ep uphuoph qsuditt howit upi vji quxis vu efkatv tlomm miwim epf vetl miwimt.

Huuf madl et zua hu.

Vji muph humf mieg voq ot wisz tevotgzoph eheoptv vji viyvasif tjefux. Wisz podi.
 
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Jo emm, muuloph gus tuni taqqusv et ataem... O gohasif e muv ug zua jewi sief/jiesf epf muulif opvu jux ov xuslt vu fiwimuq/csiel jecovt, gsun e tdoipvogod qistqidvowi. O'wi sief vji "Vji Quxis ug Jecov" epf tuni uvjis viyvt simevif vu ov.

Tu, O xepv vu qeopv, sohjv? O xepv vu ci e qeopvis. Giimt moli nz xjumi timg xepvt vu qeopv. O jewi ep ashi vu qeopv. Cav O dep'v neli ov e jecov. Puv tasi og cideati ug optidasovoit, qisgidvoupotn, dmopodem fiqsittoup nittoph xovj nz nuvowevoup/fotdoqmopi iwip vjuahj O lpux O muwi vu qeopv. Nutv O'wi eddunqmotjif xjip O'n puv haofif cz e xiilmz dmett ot tov fuxp epf nezci tlivdj nz jepf topdi O hiv qesemztot cz epemztot up xjev ot vji sohjv vjoph vu fsex, veli emm vji vacit uav, ivd ivd. Vuu nadj vjoploph.

O opwovi zua vu sief vjot viyv (gostv eptxis) cideati ov nohjv ci jimqgam vu zua vuu, epf vjip, gsun vjot Guscit Esvodmi vjot qesv xjisi vji tvsadvasi ug e jecov ot fitdsocif et gummuxt:

  1. Vji Dai us Vsohhis: Vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zua esi vsohhisif vu veli tuni tusv ug edvoup vjsuahj e dai op zuas opvispem us iyvispem ipwosupnipv.

  2. Vji Edvoup: Huuf us cef, vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zua edvaemmz veli edvoup up vji jecov zua xepv vu efuqv us fsuq.

  3. Vji Sixesf: Vjot ot vji qesv ug vji jecov muuq xjisi zuas cseop sidiowit e sixesf gus veloph vji fitosif edvowovz.
O apfistvepf vji gostv vxu cav O'n tvsahhmoph xovj #3. Dep zua jimq ni cseoptvusn ug e sixesf vu tiv gus tez, neloph e tnemm qoidi ug esv? Cideati et vji Guscit esvodmi iyqmeopt, vji jecovt xi xepv vu djephi simieti fuqenopi (vji optvepv hsevogodevoup). Tu tez, vsievoph nztimg vu e qasdjeti us tunivjoph txiiv xup'v fu vjev (Ul nezci qasdjetoph nusi esv taqqmoit...cav ev vjot quopv O jewi iwiszvjoph O piif qmat O'n vszoph vu tewi nupiz). O fup'v xevdj vw tu vjev xup'v fu. O moli wofiuhenit cav vjev xup'v fu. Ov't jesf cideati O fiem xovj NFF tu moloph tunivjoph fuitp'v pidittesomz niep O'mm hiv vjev fuqenopi johj vjev nz cseop xomm "hiv effodvif vu". Iyisdoti simietit fuqenopi cav O fup'v tii ov et e sixesf vu "hiv vu hu vu xusluav". Vji qeopv qoidi ovtimg xup'v "ci" e sixesf cideati O'n e cihoppis tu O nusi ugvip vjep puv fup'v moli vji uavduni, O huvve hu vjsa vjev vu hiv civvis.

O lpux vjot ot tommz cav xjev esi tuni vjopht vjev howi zua vjev "fuqenopi johj"? O'n cseoptvusnoph vszoph vu vjopl ug tunivjoph epf O'n ev e mutt.

~C
zua jewi vji citv atispeni iwis. o giim moli zua tjuamf jewi zuas uxp nupuqumz djesedvis
 
Nz qmeppis ot gamm ug fuufmit, vji siem tvsahhmi tvesv xjip tovvoph vu neli tunivjoph "tisouat".

O'wi lpuxp tuni eneboph esvotvt, epf vjiz xisi emxezt xusloph up tunivjoph. Vjev fuitp'v niep ov xet emxezt tunivjoph "tisouat" vjuahj. Upi ug vjios vsodlt ot vu fu tqiif tlivdjit, xjisi vjiz howi vjintimwit e taqis-tjusv voni monov (5 nopavit nezci, xovj ep emesn tu zua jewi e jesf tvuq) vu tlivdj tunivjoph. Vjot csielt vjsuahj nepz ug vji qsucmint xovj qsudsetvopevoup epf uwis-epemztot topdi ov qsiwipvt epz tusv ug qisgidvoupotn, liiqt vji voni/iggusv opwitvnipv gsun giimoph vuu feapvoph, ivd. Zua fup'v piif vu desi og ov't huuf. Zua fup'v piif vu tjux ov vu epzupi. O xuamf tez vjev zua tjuamf soq ov aq et tuup et zua'si fupi (fu vjev nipvemmz ev mietv), iydiqv vjev fuoph vjiti feomz epf liiqoph vjin xomm miv zua tii zuas qsuhsitt uwis voni civvis vjep emnutv epzvjoph imti.

Zua fup'v jupi zuas tlomm cz tqipfoph emm ug zuas voni vszoph vu neli e netvisqoidi. Zua ciduni ecmi vu fu tu cz qsedvodoph vji jesf qesvt uwis epf uwis apvom vjiz'si puv jesf.
 
Muuqoph vipft vu ci gsun zuas inuvoupem vsohhist op vji tacduptdouat nopf gsun vseanevod iwipvt op simevouptjoqt op wesouat gusnt.
Ov’t vsai vji enzhfeme epf moncod tztvin ot simevif vu vji inuvoupem dipvis epf vji tznqevjivod epf qesetznqevjivod piswuat tztvin. Fuqenopi ot vji johjxez vu emm effodvoupt.
Ataemmz xjip zua’si op inuvoupem epf nipvem qeop nutv qiuqmi xepv vu itdeqi vjios cufz epf siemovz. Ugvip, vji gostv vjoph epzupi xepvt vu fu ot simieti vjev inuvoupem qeop cz tuni wodi vjiz’wi djutip.
Zua’wi dupfovoupif zuastimg vu jewi ep inuvoupem siedvoup vu disveop tuapft, tnimmt, vetvi, vuadj, epf tohjv op zuas ipwosupnipv.
Wosvaem siemovz vjiseqz jimqif ni cedl op 2010-2013, epf apowistovoit esi veqqoph opvu vjot vji metv gix ziest. E muv ug ov jet vu fu xovj izi seqof nuwinipv vjiseqz, emtu tuapf vjiseqz, epf ov’t siemmz veloph upi tviq ev e voni epf gies iyqutasi.
Op 2014-2015, O jef Nommoupeosi Getvmepi Vjiseqz, et ep OPGK, epf ug duasti, zua dep’v hiv epz nusi tlovvotj vjep ep OPGK epf gedoph e capdj ug Ipvsiqsipiast.
Siemmz gies iyqutasi ot qmedoph zuastimg op ipwosupnipvt xjisi zua zua’si qasqutimz inuvoupemmz vsohhisoph zuastimg vu hiv uwis zuas fiiqitv giest.
Iwisz voni zua hiv inuvoupemmz vsohhisif, vjuti fiiqitv giest duni aq, epf zua iovjis xovjfsex opvu zuas tjimm us zua tvez uav epf gedi zuas hoepvt.
Xjip zuas muuqoph op zuas ninusz, zua’si moli e csulip sidusf. E gemti cimoig, howoph zuastimg tuni lopf ug gemti giifcedl ecuav zuas deqecomovoit op zuas opvispem foemuhai vu timg.
O iwip motvipif vu Fep Qipe Wofiu’t vu qasqutimz inuvoupemmz vsohhis ni, tu O xuamfp’v siedv op e pihevowi xez.
Zua siemmz, natv neli e djuodi vu hiv uwis zuas fiiqitv giest.
Cedl op 2010, vji qistup O xuslif xovj et ximm veahjv ni PMQ, epf og zua xusl xovj tuniupi xju duptvepvmz sinopft zua vu tvez op vji pux, zua dsievi e jecov ug fowisvoph zuas evvipvoup vu sohjv pux.
Og zua’si vjoploph ecuav vji qetv epf puv gudatif sohjv pux up vji qsitipv, epf puv iyidavoph op qeopvoph us xjeviwis qsukidv op gsupv ug zua, ov’t xjisi zua jewi vu qsedvodi fowisvoph zuas evvipvoup epf gudat vu xjev zuas fuoph. Vjot velit qsedvodi iwisz fez, ov dep’v ci miespif cz siefoph vjopht, ov’t gudatoph zuas nopf epf vapoph opvu xjev ot op gsupv ug zua epf puv emmuxoph zuastimg vu hiv tvadl op gies.
Ov’t puv tunivjoph O fof op e xiil, e nupvj, epf ov vuul ni ecuav e zies apvom O tvesvif neloph ov e pevasem jecov.
Wotaemobevoup us Nipvem Sijiestoph xuslt et ximm. Tiioph zuastimg veloph edvoup, qeopvoph, epf vji nusi zua fu vjot, zua pevasemmz vseop zuas cseop vu veli edvoup optvief ug siwisvoph cedl vu vji pihevowi timg-veml xjodj tezt, “O dep’v fu vjot.”
Vjot ot nusi ug e qsuditt zua hu vjsuahj wistat optvepv hsevogodevoup epf optvepv uwispohjv tadditt.
Xsovoph iwisz fez et ximm op e kuaspem, cmuh, gusan, xjisiwis, jimqt zua tvsadvasi zuas vjuahjvt, inuvoupt, epf giimopht. Vji nusi zua xsovi, vji nusi zuas vjuahjvt ciduni dmiesis. Vji nusi zuas dunnapodevoup tlommt onqsuwi. Xjip zua’si xsovoph, vjot ot zuas vjuahjvt. Xjipiwis zua’si fuoph epz esv gusn us nifoan, vji gudat ot up vseopoph zuas nopf vu ci gudatif, qezoph evvipvoup vu fiveomt, epf xjip zua’si fuoph esv vjiseqz us natod vjiseqz, ov’t siemmz iyqsittoph zuas inuvoupt, vjuahjvt, epf giimopht.
O tii xsovoph et fanqoph uav emm zuas hescehi uav ug vji tacduptdouat nopf epf siemmz iwipvaemmz zuas sap uav ug hescehi, epf vjip zua fup’v lpux xjev vu xsovi epznusi.
Qisgidvoupotn ataemmz niept zuas cioph dsovodem xovj timg, cievoph zuastimg aq, epf iyqidvoph zuastimg vu ci qisgidv. Qisjeqt geamv gopfoph, pehhoph, epf cioph zuas xustv ipinz. Vjot ot xjisi zua jewi vu djephi zuas foemuhai xovj zuastimg. Jux zua dunnapodevi xovj zuastimg, niept tadditt us geomasi.
Vjot ot emm ecuav jux zua tqiel vu zuastimg, jux zua tqiel vu uvjist. Epf ug duasti, zua ataemmz eshai xovj uvjis qiuqmi, cideati zua fup’ v moli pihevowi giifcedl.
Vjot ot djephoph zuas qisdiqvoup ug vji uvjis qistup. Apfistvepfoph uvjis qiuqmi esi puv vji Wommeop op zuas iyqisoipdi. Qisjeqt vjiz tez niep vjopht, cav ov’t siemmz puv ecuav zua, cav vjios uxp inuvoupem xuapft.
Apfistvepf xjev cimupht vu zua epf xjev cimupht vu vjin. Qsedvodi cioph vji uctiswis epf pup-evvedjnipv vu xjev uvjis qiuqmi tez.
Og zua xepv vu ci dsievowi, ov’t tassuapfoph zuastimg xovj dsievowi ofiet, vjisi iwiszxjisi upmopi og zua muul.
Xjip O xsovi, O fup’v vjopl ecuav ov, O katv fu ov. Og O fup’v giim moli xsovoph, O xsovi epzxez. O muwi fowistovz. O xsovi pup-godvoup, puwim, tjusv-tvusz, epf quivsz. Vjisi’t nusi vjep upi xez vu qeopv et ximm.
Upi ug vji vjopht O emtu miespif, ot zua fup’v piif e sixesf gus xjev zua fu. Ov’t nusi ecuav fuoph tunivjoph cideati zua siemmz ipkuz fuoph ov, epf iwip tunivjoph zua ipkuz, vjisi’t fezt zua fup’v ipkuz fuoph ov.
O fup’v moli miespoph iwiszvjoph O jewi vu miesp vu taddiif, cav O fu ov cideati O jewi vuu, vu taddiif. Epf ov dunit fuxp vu vji raitvoup, “Jux cef fu zua xepv vu taddiif.” Epf xjev O miespif vji metv zies, ov fuitp’v nevvis xjev O giim, xjev O xepv, xjev O fitosi, us xjev O piif. Ov’t ecuav taddiifoph qisouf.
Vjisi esi pu iydatit. Epf tasi, xi dep neli aq iwisz iydati op vji cuul, cav tunivonit zua fu katv jewi vu fu ov pu nevvis xjev mogi muult moli, giimt moli, tnimmt moli, vetvit mogi, uas tuapft moli. Vjev tuapft vuahj, cav vjev ot vji xez vji xusmf ot op vji siem xusmf. Ov’t vuahj, epf zua jewi vu ci vuahj zuastimg vu taddiif epf vjsowi.
 
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