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Kristin R

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It is with some reluctance that I am here to report that I have finally had my, F*ck You Moment. I use the word, reluctance, because I am married to a member of this forum who has been word-barfing the contents of this place for about the last three years… I was not listening.

I’m a stubborn woman, so this is not an easy thing for me to admit.

The F*ck You Moment went as follows… I was attending a supper club meeting at my friend’s apartment down the street. I am the leader of this supper club, and I am very proud of my creation. It consists of a group of nine Chicago women who meet every six weeks to cook, drink too much wine, and talk for about 5 hours straight. I have gathered women from different facets of my life to share common interests and enjoy one another’s company. It really does bring me joy to see it in action.

So how could a night of surface-level debauchery go so terribly wrong?

I had just experienced the 2018 Fastlane Summit in Scottsdale, and I was still feeling pretty high. I wanted to share this excitement with my friends, so I decided to drop a bomb on them after the small-talk had subsided. I told them EVERYTHING. Everything that I took away from the weekend, and everything that lead us to attend the Summit in the first place. I pretty much had to start from the beginning, because some of them didn’t even know that my husband and I were trying to start a business in the first place. I completely monopolized the conversation for about the first hour of the evening and, actually, there was not much conversation at all. I basically performed a monologue for my audience.

While I was speaking, I noticed three types of reactions. There was Person A who had no idea what I was talking about, but she wanted to be polite so she asked a few basic questions. There was Person B who also had no idea what I was talking about, but her questions were a little more meaningful and her eyes weren’t completely empty. And then there was Person C who, again, had no idea what I was talking about and did a poor job of hiding it through spastic nodding and judgmental glances. Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward. I started to question myself, and then I started to question my friends. I started to get pissed and irritated and, ultimately, I started to feel alone.

In true female form, I masked my emotions by eventually transitioning into another topic and smiling all the while. In true ME form, my brain was racing and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Now, I’m not here to tell you that I’m breaking up with my all of my slow-lane friends and that I have decided to only socialize with entrepreneurs from now on. That would not be realistic, and I do not want to let go of the value that my current friendships provide. My plan is to simply compartmentalize my current friendships by the value they add to my life while expanding my efforts to meet an array of people who challenge and understand me in different ways. That’s where you come in!

I am beyond thrilled to have finally joined this group. After reading Unscripted last year, I started looking at the world through a difference lens. I was repulsed by my environment Mon-Fri, and I felt like everyone I worked with was a mindless zombie; but, for some crazy reason, I still wasn't all that interested in joining this forum. After meeting many of you in Scottsdale, I felt honored and humbled. And after my experience the other night with my girlfriends, I can honestly say that I am finally ready to see what this community is all about.

Full disclosure: I am not my husband. He is technical, task-oriented, and incredibly organized. I am his detail-obsessed, emotion-driven, highly interpersonal counterpart. I like to think that I am creative, insightful, and honest. I am often the leader amongst my friends, and I am definitely the leader amongst my siblings. I am passionate about the art of storytelling in the form of literature, theatre, or music; and I believe that a healthy lifestyle is one of mental and physical balance. I am most eager to discuss branding and marketing strategies, but I am also looking to get out of my comfort zone and dive into topics that I know little to nothing about. I think that I bring a lot to the table, but I know that I have so much to learn. Let the growing begin!
 

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RobD88

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Now, I’m not here to tell you that I’m breaking up with my all of my slow-lane friends and that I have decided to only socialize with entrepreneurs from now on. That would not be realistic, and I do not want to let go of the value that my current friendships provide. My plan is to simply compartmentalize my current friendships by the value they add to my life while expanding my efforts to meet an array of people who challenge and understand me in different ways. That’s where you come in!
I completely understand this part and totally why I am on this forum daily. Welcome!
 

PedroG

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Welcome Kristin! I believe I sat in front of you at the summit. Didn't get a chance to talk much with you and your husband, but I'm looking forward to following your progress.
 

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Welcome!!!

I can totally relate to the relatedness problem you felt. I try to talk about things at times to my friends, family, etc... and usually get a glossed-over look. They usually get excited about my products but couldn't care less about the process. It's frustrating. That's one of the MAJOR reasons I love forum meetups (like the summit) - it gives folks like us a chance to mingle with other's who speak our language and live this life.

I got to spend a good amount of time with you and @Greg R at the summit and it was really awesome meeting you! Glad to see you made the jump from "+1" to your own presence here on the forum :D
 

inputchip

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Super cool to see you on here. It's not often that we get to see a husband and wife team both contributing on the forum. Already following what you guy's are up to and I look forward to future updates. Let me know if I can ever be of help.
 

Greg R

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Welcome!!!

I can totally relate to the relatedness problem you felt. I try to talk about things at times to my friends, family, etc... and usually get a glossed-over look. They usually get excited about my products but couldn't care less about the process. It's frustrating. That's one of the MAJOR reasons I love forum meetups (like the summit) - it gives folks like us a chance to mingle with other's who speak our language and live this life.

I got to spend a good amount of time with you and @Greg R at the summit and it was really awesome meeting you! Glad to see you made the jump from "+1" to your own presence here on the forum :D

Looks like the girl power is getting stronger after the Summit!

@Jill @Red @becks22 @Garyswife
 

PedroG

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Now, I’m not here to tell you that I’m breaking up with my all of my slow-lane friends and that I have decided to only socialize with entrepreneurs from now on. That would not be realistic, and I do not want to let go of the value that my current friendships provide. My plan is to simply compartmentalize my current friendships by the value they add to my life while expanding my efforts to meet an array of people who challenge and understand me in different ways. That’s where you come in!
My wife and I have always talked about how hard it is to find people that think like we do. That's why I felt it was so important that I attend the summit.

I think it was Tony Robbins who said that without us even realizing it, we try to meet the standards that are set for us, by those around us. That's why we have to be mindful of who those people are or we could find ourselves with very low standards to meet.
 
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Kristin R

Kristin R

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Welcome Kristin! I believe I sat in front of you at the summit. Didn't get a chance to talk much with you and your husband, but I'm looking forward to following your progress.
Thanks, @PedroG . I do remember seeing you there! I appreciate your interest in our ventures, and I look forward to keeping up with yours, too.
 

NanoDrake

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It is with some reluctance that I am here to report that I have finally had my, F*ck You Moment. I use the word, reluctance, because I am married to a member of this forum who has been word-barfing the contents of this place for about the last three years… I was not listening.

I’m a stubborn woman, so this is not an easy thing for me to admit.

The F*ck You Moment went as follows… I was attending a supper club meeting at my friend’s apartment down the street. I am the leader of this supper club, and I am very proud of my creation. It consists of a group of nine Chicago women who meet every six weeks to cook, drink too much wine, and talk for about 5 hours straight. I have gathered women from different facets of my life to share common interests and enjoy one another’s company. It really does bring me joy to see it in action.

So how could a night of surface-level debauchery go so terribly wrong?

I had just experienced the 2018 Fastlane Summit in Scottsdale, and I was still feeling pretty high. I wanted to share this excitement with my friends, so I decided to drop a bomb on them after the small-talk had subsided. I told them EVERYTHING. Everything that I took away from the weekend, and everything that lead us to attend the Summit in the first place. I pretty much had to start from the beginning, because some of them didn’t even know that my husband and I were trying to start a business in the first place. I completely monopolized the conversation for about the first hour of the evening and, actually, there was not much conversation at all. I basically performed a monologue for my audience.

While I was speaking, I noticed three types of reactions. There was Person A who had no idea what I was talking about, but she wanted to be polite so she asked a few basic questions. There was Person B who also had no idea what I was talking about, but her questions were a little more meaningful and her eyes weren’t completely empty. And then there was Person C who, again, had no idea what I was talking about and did a poor job of hiding it through spastic nodding and judgmental glances. Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward. I started to question myself, and then I started to question my friends. I started to get pissed and irritated and, ultimately, I started to feel alone.

In true female form, I masked my emotions by eventually transitioning into another topic and smiling all the while. In true ME form, my brain was racing and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Now, I’m not here to tell you that I’m breaking up with my all of my slow-lane friends and that I have decided to only socialize with entrepreneurs from now on. That would not be realistic, and I do not want to let go of the value that my current friendships provide. My plan is to simply compartmentalize my current friendships by the value they add to my life while expanding my efforts to meet an array of people who challenge and understand me in different ways. That’s where you come in!

I am beyond thrilled to have finally joined this group. After reading Unscripted last year, I started looking at the world through a difference lens. I was repulsed by my environment Mon-Fri, and I felt like everyone I worked with was a mindless zombie; but, for some crazy reason, I still wasn't all that interested in joining this forum. After meeting many of you in Scottsdale, I felt honored and humbled. And after my experience the other night with my girlfriends, I can honestly say that I am finally ready to see what this community is all about.

Full disclosure: I am not my husband. He is technical, task-oriented, and incredibly organized. I am his detail-obsessed, emotion-driven, highly interpersonal counterpart. I like to think that I am creative, insightful, and honest. I am often the leader amongst my friends, and I am definitely the leader amongst my siblings. I am passionate about the art of storytelling in the form of literature, theatre, or music; and I believe that a healthy lifestyle is one of mental and physical balance. I am most eager to discuss branding and marketing strategies, but I am also looking to get out of my comfort zone and dive into topics that I know little to nothing about. I think that I bring a lot to the table, but I know that I have so much to learn. Let the growing begin!
Hello Kristin!

You shared something very intimate and I hate what I'm about to say next, because when I had to face it, it left me bitter....
BUT what happened at that dinner, is the reality of what is outside there, a good comparison would be Morpheus that tells Neo why they don't pull out more people from the Matrix, they would go mad if they knew...
Majority of people would go mad in knowing they have to take 110% responsability of their life
Majority of people would go mad in understanding that "fair" and "deserve" are meaningless words
Majority of people would go mad in experiencing hours of hard work that generate zero income

Can you blame them? if you score a good job and live in a decent place, life isn't that bad after all isn't it?

Why put yourself through the sleepless nights? why aim constantly higher? hammer your brain daily with books/podcasts? why? for them, life is cozy and protected by a cushy bubble.

As an entrepreneur, you are required to stand up every time you go down, to think at triple speed even when the solution seems obvious and take full responsability on where the ship is steering, and these traits, they will slowly start to stand out in your everyday character: your friends will note how much leadership you have, how more direct and blunt you became, the more you will advance in the Entrepreneurial path, the more the people around you will put some distance. If you have good people around you, they will just let you slide, if you are surrounded by mean people, they will even try to sabotage you (it happened to me, at my first fail I basically got exposed to all my friends network by a person that obviously I no longer hang out with, after years I heard he got in jail...)

It's impossible and wrong to hang around just with Entrepreneurs, but the decision you made carry also this burden, you will have less and less friends that you can "truly open your soul to" and just listen and accept what you have become. You will cope with that and add an extra layer of thick skin, it's a pre -requisite of the many battles that you will face ( I think some people here have so many battle scars that Rambo is a joke)
But this forum does a great job in awakening people sooo... :)
 
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Kristin R

Kristin R

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Welcome!!!

I can totally relate to the relatedness problem you felt. I try to talk about things at times to my friends, family, etc... and usually get a glossed-over look. They usually get excited about my products but couldn't care less about the process. It's frustrating. That's one of the MAJOR reasons I love forum meetups (like the summit) - it gives folks like us a chance to mingle with other's who speak our language and live this life.

I got to spend a good amount of time with you and @Greg R at the summit and it was really awesome meeting you! Glad to see you made the jump from "+1" to your own presence here on the forum :D
Thanks, @JAJT ! Glad I'm not the only one who has experienced the social frustrations... Greg and I had a great time with you at the Summit, and I'm really excited to follow your progress through my own eyes from now on. :)
 

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becks22

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This is so amazing how lots of the +1s are now joining the forum on their own accord. I can't be more excited for the future for everyone's business which is what makes this forum so great. Everyone wants everyone to succeed.
 

Parker fields

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Such an awesome entry into the forum! Most people you meet or socialize with will not grasp the fast-lane as you found out explaining to your bug eyed friends. I myself have a hard time conveying my big picture to people. I don't believe this is something to easily convey to people in a short time. It it a lifestyle choice, and your on the good path :). @Greg R- What took you so long to convert her! I'm glad she went to the Summit. I didn't even know about the Summit until it was already to late (boo). Sometimes it takes an Event to push us in the right direction. Yours just happened to be in epic fashion.
 

MJ DeMarco

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While I was speaking, I noticed three types of reactions. There was Person A who had no idea what I was talking about, but she wanted to be polite so she asked a few basic questions. There was Person B who also had no idea what I was talking about, but her questions were a little more meaningful and her eyes weren’t completely empty. And then there was Person C who, again, had no idea what I was talking about and did a poor job of hiding it through spastic nodding and judgmental glances. Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward. I started to question myself, and then I started to question my friends. I started to get pissed and irritated and, ultimately, I started to feel alone.
Sad to hear this Kristin.

Not because of their reaction, but because you now have to compartmentalize the relationships.

This means their life journey will be shared with you, but you cannot share yours with them.

When you struggle in the Desert of Desertion, you cannot talk with them.
When you celebrate your first win in business, you cannot rejoice with them.
When you make "jump on the mattress" progress, you cannot share the moments with them.

Ultimately all of this will be met with "deer in the headlight" looks, as if you were crazy.

Thank goodness you have a great partner where you both can be supportive through the journey.

Friends don't need to be Fastlane, but ultimately the chasm between goals and visions for life might put those relationships in a strain.

I wish you luck as I hope those friends demonstrate true friendship -- support and open-mindedness.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward.
Side note...

Is it possible they thought you attended some MLM meeting in Scottsdale? And now you were grooming them for a pitch of products? I could understand their reaction if they immediately jumped to an inaccurate conclusion, "Utt oh, here comes a Rodan and Fields pitch for a home party..."
 

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Also, don't tell anyone in your normal 'sheep' groups anything..... you can hint to see if they 'know', then let them in if they give you the 'password' ..... we walk a lonely road sometimes!
 

inputchip

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Side note...

Is it possible they thought you attended some MLM meeting in Scottsdale? And now you were grooming them for a pitch of products? I could understand their reaction if they immediately jumped to an inaccurate conclusion, "Utt oh, here comes a Rodan and Fields pitch for a home party..."
Sadly, most people have become accustomed to their friends giving them the MLM pitch. I can't even go through my Facebook feed without getting bombarded by friends trying to sell their overpriced shampoo. This has tarnished the image of true entrepreneurship as many people don't know the difference.
 
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Kristin R

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Hello Kristin!

You shared something very intimate and I hate what I'm about to say next, because when I had to face it, it left me bitter....
BUT what happened at that dinner, is the reality of what is outside there, a good comparison would be Morpheus that tells Neo why they don't pull out more people from the Matrix, they would go mad if they knew...
Majority of people would go mad in knowing they have to take 110% responsability of their life
Majority of people would go mad in understanding that "fair" and "deserve" are meaningless words
Majority of people would go mad in experiencing hours of hard work that generate zero income

Can you blame them? if you score a good job and live in a decent place, life isn't that bad after all isn't it?

Why put yourself through the sleepless nights? why aim constantly higher? hammer your brain daily with books/podcasts? why? for them, life is cozy and protected by a cushy bubble.

As an entrepreneur, you are required to stand up every time you go down, to think at triple speed even when the solution seems obvious and take full responsability on where the ship is steering, and these traits, they will slowly start to stand out in your everyday character: your friends will note how much leadership you have, how more direct and blunt you became, the more you will advance in the Entrepreneurial path, the more the people around you will put some distance. If you have good people around you, they will just let you slide, if you are surrounded by mean people, they will even try to sabotage you (it happened to me, at my first fail I basically got exposed to all my friends network by a person that obviously I no longer hang out with, after years I heard he got in jail...)

It's impossible and wrong to hang around just with Entrepreneurs, but the decision you made carry also this burden, you will have less and less friends that you can "truly open your soul to" and just listen and accept what you have become. You will cope with that and add an extra layer of thick skin, it's a pre -requisite of the many battles that you will face ( I think some people here have so many battle scars that Rambo is a joke)
But this forum does a great job in awakening people sooo... :)
@NanoDrake , I understand what you are saying. I already feel some of that distance that you described, and I definitely notice that I have become more blunt. I appreciate the insight, and I guess time will tell me who my real friends are!
 

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Think @SteveO has talked about this over the years..... different groups of friends you will discuss different subjects..... don't just write then off by whether they are fastlane or not...
 

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Awesome intro, welcome!

You think it's bad now, wait until you get rich, I highly doubt they'll be having dinner parties with you then.
 

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Vermilion

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different groups of friends you will discuss different subjects..... don't just write then off by whether they are fastlane or not...
This !
Just because your friends don't look at the life from your perspective don't mean they are bad. Its a bit ruthless to do that unless they did something bad to you.

Anyway welcome to the forum @Kristin R and all the best !
 
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Kristin R

Kristin R

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Side note...

Is it possible they thought you attended some MLM meeting in Scottsdale? And now you were grooming them for a pitch of products? I could understand their reaction if they immediately jumped to an inaccurate conclusion, "Utt oh, here comes a Rodan and Fields pitch for a home party..."
Thanks, @MJ DeMarco ... I actually picked up on that possibility while I was telling my story, so I made sure to slide in a quick comment about how great it was that no one was selling anything and that it was the farthest thing from a pyramid scheme. I tried my best to convey the integrity of the experience, but I think that most of the women simply could not get excited about something that they could not relate to.

It really is disappointing. Greg immediately noticed that I was in a lousy mood when I got home that night. I’m feeling better about it now, though... I know who I want to be, and I am not really interested in forcing people to be interested in what I am up to. I also know that I have a great husband, mother, father, and one solid friend (she lives in the burbs) who I can truly be myself around. Those are the people who I can count on to share in my happiness and provide genuine support and interest.

On a brighter note, it was great to meet you in person. I admire and respect what you have created, and I am excited to be a part of the team!
 

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While I was speaking, I noticed three types of reactions. There was Person A who had no idea what I was talking about, but she wanted to be polite so she asked a few basic questions. There was Person B who also had no idea what I was talking about, but her questions were a little more meaningful and her eyes weren’t completely empty. And then there was Person C who, again, had no idea what I was talking about and did a poor job of hiding it through spastic nodding and judgmental glances. Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward. I started to question myself, and then I started to question my friends. I started to get pissed and irritated and, ultimately, I started to feel alone.
Three types of reactions but none of them bought in. Hey, I have many people that tell me I'm lucky to be where I am. You heard my story. No luck involved.

Over the years people have made comments. Very few have said they would like to ask questions some day. Even less have actually asked any. When they do ask, it seems that they already have their minds made up and their opinions formed. I am interrupted after a few words and spend the rest of the conversation with them telling me what they are going to do.

The only place that I can talk to people about real business is here. That is it! I refrain from talking to friends or family about anything outside of OUR MUTUAL interests. Which is fine with me. It keeps the world on its axis.
 

SteveO

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Think @SteveO has talked about this over the years..... different groups of friends you will discuss different subjects..... don't just write then off by whether they are fastlane or not...
Correct. I have softball, golf, running, and hiking friends. I also have friends that we camp with in our recreational vehicles. Soon, I will have flying friends.

My avatar is paintball with my grandson friend. :)

None of these would be possible if we tried to talk business. I listen to their work stories and refrain from meaningful comment.
 

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Welcome @Kristin R!

It's always good to have more women on the forum!

Your OP was so cringeworthy... I think we've all experienced that before. I remember my wife made the mistake of blurting out at a dinner get together about how I had sold my business. I gave her the eye daggers, and the next few minutes in the room were super awkward.

When people are living paycheck to paycheck, they usually don't want to hear about someone who's killing it, even if they are their friends.

And when you do have a friend that encourages you and wants to hear all about it... hang onto them!
 

Garyswife

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It is with some reluctance that I am here to report that I have finally had my, F*ck You Moment. I use the word, reluctance, because I am married to a member of this forum who has been word-barfing the contents of this place for about the last three years… I was not listening.

I’m a stubborn woman, so this is not an easy thing for me to admit.

The F*ck You Moment went as follows… I was attending a supper club meeting at my friend’s apartment down the street. I am the leader of this supper club, and I am very proud of my creation. It consists of a group of nine Chicago women who meet every six weeks to cook, drink too much wine, and talk for about 5 hours straight. I have gathered women from different facets of my life to share common interests and enjoy one another’s company. It really does bring me joy to see it in action.

So how could a night of surface-level debauchery go so terribly wrong?

I had just experienced the 2018 Fastlane Summit in Scottsdale, and I was still feeling pretty high. I wanted to share this excitement with my friends, so I decided to drop a bomb on them after the small-talk had subsided. I told them EVERYTHING. Everything that I took away from the weekend, and everything that lead us to attend the Summit in the first place. I pretty much had to start from the beginning, because some of them didn’t even know that my husband and I were trying to start a business in the first place. I completely monopolized the conversation for about the first hour of the evening and, actually, there was not much conversation at all. I basically performed a monologue for my audience.

While I was speaking, I noticed three types of reactions. There was Person A who had no idea what I was talking about, but she wanted to be polite so she asked a few basic questions. There was Person B who also had no idea what I was talking about, but her questions were a little more meaningful and her eyes weren’t completely empty. And then there was Person C who, again, had no idea what I was talking about and did a poor job of hiding it through spastic nodding and judgmental glances. Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward. I started to question myself, and then I started to question my friends. I started to get pissed and irritated and, ultimately, I started to feel alone.

In true female form, I masked my emotions by eventually transitioning into another topic and smiling all the while. In true ME form, my brain was racing and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Now, I’m not here to tell you that I’m breaking up with my all of my slow-lane friends and that I have decided to only socialize with entrepreneurs from now on. That would not be realistic, and I do not want to let go of the value that my current friendships provide. My plan is to simply compartmentalize my current friendships by the value they add to my life while expanding my efforts to meet an array of people who challenge and understand me in different ways. That’s where you come in!

I am beyond thrilled to have finally joined this group. After reading Unscripted last year, I started looking at the world through a difference lens. I was repulsed by my environment Mon-Fri, and I felt like everyone I worked with was a mindless zombie; but, for some crazy reason, I still wasn't all that interested in joining this forum. After meeting many of you in Scottsdale, I felt honored and humbled. And after my experience the other night with my girlfriends, I can honestly say that I am finally ready to see what this community is all about.

Full disclosure: I am not my husband. He is technical, task-oriented, and incredibly organized. I am his detail-obsessed, emotion-driven, highly interpersonal counterpart. I like to think that I am creative, insightful, and honest. I am often the leader amongst my friends, and I am definitely the leader amongst my siblings. I am passionate about the art of storytelling in the form of literature, theatre, or music; and I believe that a healthy lifestyle is one of mental and physical balance. I am most eager to discuss branding and marketing strategies, but I am also looking to get out of my comfort zone and dive into topics that I know little to nothing about. I think that I bring a lot to the table, but I know that I have so much to learn. Let the growing begin!
Let the growing begin! This is awesome. You two make an amazing partnership and the sky is the limit. So glad we connected and got to spend some time.

Just know that when you are in the thick of things - be it your business is rocketing to heights you couldn’t imagine or your supplier can’t deliver and you have 100s of angry customers that aren’t getting their merchandise that they have already paid for...- you will be happy you have that C friend that doesn’t want to talk shop. She will be your escape.

Like you said, its all about balance. I wish that for you.

In the meantime, you can call me, I’m working on balance but still mostly turbo and always want to talk shop!
 

Lord Business

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Feb 24, 2018
59
123
135
32
finland
It is with some reluctance that I am here to report that I have finally had my, F*ck You Moment. I use the word, reluctance, because I am married to a member of this forum who has been word-barfing the contents of this place for about the last three years… I was not listening.

I’m a stubborn woman, so this is not an easy thing for me to admit.

The F*ck You Moment went as follows… I was attending a supper club meeting at my friend’s apartment down the street. I am the leader of this supper club, and I am very proud of my creation. It consists of a group of nine Chicago women who meet every six weeks to cook, drink too much wine, and talk for about 5 hours straight. I have gathered women from different facets of my life to share common interests and enjoy one another’s company. It really does bring me joy to see it in action.

So how could a night of surface-level debauchery go so terribly wrong?

I had just experienced the 2018 Fastlane Summit in Scottsdale, and I was still feeling pretty high. I wanted to share this excitement with my friends, so I decided to drop a bomb on them after the small-talk had subsided. I told them EVERYTHING. Everything that I took away from the weekend, and everything that lead us to attend the Summit in the first place. I pretty much had to start from the beginning, because some of them didn’t even know that my husband and I were trying to start a business in the first place. I completely monopolized the conversation for about the first hour of the evening and, actually, there was not much conversation at all. I basically performed a monologue for my audience.

While I was speaking, I noticed three types of reactions. There was Person A who had no idea what I was talking about, but she wanted to be polite so she asked a few basic questions. There was Person B who also had no idea what I was talking about, but her questions were a little more meaningful and her eyes weren’t completely empty. And then there was Person C who, again, had no idea what I was talking about and did a poor job of hiding it through spastic nodding and judgmental glances. Obviously, Person C was the worst type. I found myself looking to the A’s and B’s most of the time for validation, but the energy was weak. I started to feel embarrassed and awkward. I started to question myself, and then I started to question my friends. I started to get pissed and irritated and, ultimately, I started to feel alone.

In true female form, I masked my emotions by eventually transitioning into another topic and smiling all the while. In true ME form, my brain was racing and I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Now, I’m not here to tell you that I’m breaking up with my all of my slow-lane friends and that I have decided to only socialize with entrepreneurs from now on. That would not be realistic, and I do not want to let go of the value that my current friendships provide. My plan is to simply compartmentalize my current friendships by the value they add to my life while expanding my efforts to meet an array of people who challenge and understand me in different ways. That’s where you come in!

I am beyond thrilled to have finally joined this group. After reading Unscripted last year, I started looking at the world through a difference lens. I was repulsed by my environment Mon-Fri, and I felt like everyone I worked with was a mindless zombie; but, for some crazy reason, I still wasn't all that interested in joining this forum. After meeting many of you in Scottsdale, I felt honored and humbled. And after my experience the other night with my girlfriends, I can honestly say that I am finally ready to see what this community is all about.

Full disclosure: I am not my husband. He is technical, task-oriented, and incredibly organized. I am his detail-obsessed, emotion-driven, highly interpersonal counterpart. I like to think that I am creative, insightful, and honest. I am often the leader amongst my friends, and I am definitely the leader amongst my siblings. I am passionate about the art of storytelling in the form of literature, theatre, or music; and I believe that a healthy lifestyle is one of mental and physical balance. I am most eager to discuss branding and marketing strategies, but I am also looking to get out of my comfort zone and dive into topics that I know little to nothing about. I think that I bring a lot to the table, but I know that I have so much to learn. Let the growing begin!
Welcome. Get used to it, try not to get bitter. My advice would be not to engage anyone who doesn't seem interested in this kind of philosophy, because for their brains, it comes of kind of like religious lunatic pitch speech. 99% people don't want advice, but for everyone to assure them about their position in life and choices. Spend this energy on yourself and on the 1% who want to listen (like me for example:) )
 
OP
OP
Kristin R

Kristin R

Contributor
Feb 25, 2018
11
89
24
31
Chicago
Let the growing begin! This is awesome. You two make an amazing partnership and the sky is the limit. So glad we connected and got to spend some time.

Just know that when you are in the thick of things - be it your business is rocketing to heights you couldn’t imagine or your supplier can’t deliver and you have 100s of angry customers that aren’t getting their merchandise that they have already paid for...- you will be happy you have that C friend that doesn’t want to talk shop. She will be your escape.

Like you said, its all about balance. I wish that for you.

In the meantime, you can call me, I’m working on balance but still mostly turbo and always want to talk shop!
It was SO awesome to meet you, @Garyswife . You are such a badass, and I admire how well you balance family, friends, and business. You haven't lost your identity to the 'mom' and 'wife' titles, and I truly hope to emulate your example. I'm grateful to have met someone who 'gets' my situation, and I look forward to learning from and with you.

You can always call me to talk shop, too!

@Gary @Greg R ... You have created some monsters. :)
 
OP
OP
Kristin R

Kristin R

Contributor
Feb 25, 2018
11
89
24
31
Chicago
I remember my wife made the mistake of blurting out at a dinner get together about how I had sold my business. I gave her the eye daggers, and the next few minutes in the room were super awkward.

HA! Your wife and I have a lot in common, @amp0193 . Foot-in-mouth syndrome...

Thanks for the helpful input. It was great meeting you and pretending to be a multicultural genius with you. I look forward to learning from you and following your success.
 

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