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Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

G-Man

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People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:
 
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Tommo

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People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:
That's awesome G-Man. I love how you think.
 

Bryan Amaiwe

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Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?
 

Ayanle Farah

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Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?
Assuming they're interested in your pursuits in the first place, your kids doesn't have to be the only ones to take over your fastlane business.

MJ doesn't have kids from what I can tell yet someone took over Limos.com when he sold it.
 
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ruzara5

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Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it.
Yes. And possibly no. Kids are important. If they are going to be part of the fastlane 'dynasty'. That could be a good thing. Parenting and relationship are a deep scope from this short jaunt in the reply space. For the business aspect. In the building of a fastlane. It could benefit that you do not start a family yet. Keep the focus on the business. The scale. The value. The benefits. Etc.
 

Ascension

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Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?

Getting kids just so you have somebody to take over your business is just asking to mess their lives up
 

Sagemoney

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I've been in a relationship for 6 years during the middle of my 20's, I've seen literally every relationship by my friends and family fail in the same amount of time. I've also hung around people married for 25+ years and The number one reason I see for most of these failures is stubborness/selfishness on both ends.

If there was a CENTS model for relationships I would narrow it down to this:

Trust
Empathy
Communication/Compromise
Solitude
No bullshit

The first 3 should be self explanatory, Solitude means that you should be able to leave each other alone for an extended period of time without wondering whether or not that person is faithful. If they can't go to the club, out with girlfriends or across the country without you losing it, your relationship will fail I have no doubt about it.

No bullshit means calling each other out on your weaknesses and not allowing your ego to obstruct progress. I've learned that when a woman NAG's it means that there is a fault that she wants you to fix, that will make you a better man. From picking up your dirty drawers to playing video games to focusing on your business without acknowledging her slightly, We tend to hyperfocus as men which can act as a benefit and detriment. If something needs to be done immediately, then carve out time and let your woman know "Babe I have 3 hours I can dedicate to you but afterword I must work on my goals/business. For the both of us :)." If you see she's being lazy and not in the gym, Tell her how sexy she looks when she sweats, how happy she looks after a workout etc.

If you have these five things I can guarantee your relationship will probably last. The amount of fear in this thread is palpable, and Women can smell fear and insecurity miles away. if you have any doubts in your mind that the woman your with may divorce you don't get married. She will sense the same thing and act accordingly. If you are out here trying to live your best life, working out, giving value to the world, and taking time to fulfill her needs. Trust me, she will be there to fulfill all yours and support you when things get tough.

Never be scared of being vulnerable, all that hyper-masculinity "Red-pill" Bullshit is for the birds and neckbeards. As men we should be strong enough to break down wall's but gentle enough to caress a bird . Find that balance and you'll never have to worry about divorce.
 
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Bennu

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Been married twice, have decided that even if I think I've met "the one" I won't remarry. Nothing is permanent an a contract won't make any relationship more solid. I'm of the mind that not having a contract keeps both people on their best behavior because either one can leave at any time. If you want them around, you don't take them for granted.

I've remained intentionally childfree. I never wanted and am sure I never will want kids. I'll leave my money to organizations that I feel actually help the world somehow.
 

GoGetter24

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Like which country?
Saudi Arabia.

No but seriously, I'm sure there's places that balance & incentivize it better than "have sex without marriage certificates and I'll throw stones at you until you die".

Real answer: any country, so long as you're rich and diligent (like Elon Musk).
 
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Telamon25346

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Timmy C

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I came here to post about this. for bezos this absolutely sucks. his wife however must be pretty happy. I heard she might become the richest woman in the world by divorcing him


She is balling lol.

The divorce machine, I don't get marriage in today's world I'm all for living a life with someone having children the whole thing. if that's what you want. But marriage I just don't get why you need that piece of paper you can do everything without it.
 
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ShamanKing

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People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty sh*tty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:



Right on @G-Man. I was just talking about this with my partner.
 

Kevin88660

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Quick credibility explanation. The reason you should listen to me is because I have been coaching men for the last 10 years on women and relationships. Many men over 40 have been severely damaged by a financial catastrophe that can be EASILY avoided. This goes for women also, I'm not posting this for the men only.

The easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is.....

1- follow what's in the fastlane
2- pay all your taxes
3- do not get married, and do not get divorced

As far as #3, the signs are everywhere. Marriage and divorce ruin your finances. But most people refuse to see the evidence that is right in front of their face, because they are blinded by love and tradition, wanting to do the same things their parents did.

News flash! The laws have completely changed since your parents got married. You will be wiped out for sure if you have money and you get a divorce.

I urge you to watch this documentary on the divorce industry-

To put it in a nutshell:
The laws have changed. Divorce is an industry now. There is massive collusion between judges and lawyers, and they will take all your cash and liquidate your assets during a divorce proceedings. There's no rules in Family Court. Judges don't have to go by laws or precedents. They can do anything they want. There is no oversight and no challenging them.

On day 1, you sign up for a divorce attorney and they will often put a lien on your house and other assets just in case you can't pay. The judge can then order your house to be sold to pay legal fees.

After day 1, the judges and lawyers team up to drag out the case as long as possible.

In summary, it's not that you need to worry about your spouse taking your money, it's the lawyers that will take it.

I know a girl whose parents spent $600K on a divorce, and it's not over yet!

BUT WAIT, I CAN GET MARRIED BECAUSE I WON'T BE GETTING DIVORCED!
Nope sorry, the stats just don't support this. More than half of marriages end up in divorce and there's nothing special about you or your spouse that will change this. As you grow your fortune, you also incentivize your spouse to divorce you. Do you really want to have a 50% chance of getting financially wiped out? People change, goals change, relationships end. You can't fight this, it's human nature.

Marriage is a dirty business.
Divorce is even more dirty!

Again, please watch that entire documentary, it's available on iTunes. Don't be blind to the biggest mistake of your life.

BTW I'm single so I have no ax to grind. I just feel I'm one of the few people paying attention to what's actually going on, so I wanted to share it with you here.


Edited by Vigilante as we don't permit frat boy slang in this forum.
I am a financial consultant in Singapore.

Married business men should have some assets oversea. PM me if anyone wish to discuss more.
 
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PizzaOnTheRoof

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People are unhappy in marriage because they expect marriage to make them happy. Two people, each expecting the other person to to make them happy. Kind of surprised even 50% of marriages survive.

It's a pretty shitty thing to do to another human being if you think about it. "Hey baby, I'm making you responsible for my happiness for the next 40 years"

Maybe, instead of thinking about what we want from marriage, we think about what we bring to it. Maybe, instead of thinking about how we can get others to meet our needs, we think about how we can meet others' needs.

It's a shame that there's no other part of this forum where we approach problems by thinking about meeting other people's needs :clench:
Should be the only reply in this thread
 

JimK

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I've never been married, but have thought about this in recent years. Writing to help others and to fine tune it.

(Summary: I haven't found her yet.)

Premise
  • The end game is death and life is a game where I'm all in. In that final minute, death is a choice to let go or to fight again; the will to live. (Vice Admiral Stockdale)
  • Personal growth is important to me, if not the highest endeavor (typified by the grail quest). This is my spirituality; individuation. J Peterson, CJ Jung, M Hall, J Campbell, etc.
  • Knowing the highest values, I aim to serve that in others. To be the advocate in the good in others. Starting with myself, then spouse, family, community, world, etc.
  • TMF : Wealth = Family + Fitness + Freedom.
Reducing divorce risk:
The most effective relationship dynamics I've found is the Michelangelo phenomenon where both partners influence each other towards their ideal self, not my ideal for them. This is the most practical definition of love I could find.

The most effective diagnostic of divorce is J Gottman's research. He can predict with 90%+ accuracy within 15 minutes if a couple will divorce or not. He looks to see if the partners will respond to bids for attention and if there's stonewalling.

It was a Joe Rogan podcast I heard this:
Think of a really hot girl. Like ridiculously hot.
Then think of a really beautiful girl.
Are they the same girl?
Most often they are not because they are different strategies.

Have I found a girl whose ideal self I can encourage and help? no
Have I found a girl who can help me reach my ideal self? no
 

Kevin88660

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Well I think of it as Economics 101.

Why you should get married? When it is better than you being alone. Two factors at play.

1) You want to have a kid
2)in additional to having a kid You want to form a team of two in the game of life rather than playing it solo. Just like why you want to find a business partner. It is not necessary. It can be better or worse.

If you want sex only you should find professional sex workers.

I think marriage has its value. What I see in no value is in all “relationships” that are not geared towards marriage.
 
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Mattie

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If you want sex only you should find professional sex workers.
So your best advice is we should all have meaningless sex like a dog humping another dog and be on our way. :rofl:
 

Mattie

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The divorce machine, I don't get marriage in today's world I'm all for living a life with someone having children the whole thing. if that's what you want. But marriage I just don't get why you need that piece of paper you can do everything without it.
Pretty much I've been in both situations. Fortunately, when it comes to land, property, finances, and materialism it's hard to say if you're better off with no legal paper work, because you can lose a whole lot by not covering your butt either way. So if you're dealing with a lot of money, I would say cover yourself with some kind of paper work because really, you can work your whole life for something and have other people take it from you either way.

For you being in a relationship there is no difference in life lessons, but really there is a difference in the emotional and psychological angle because of what belief system you may hold about relationships. I'm more where I hold my relationships sacred, where someone else might not value relationships at all and just see women as sex workers you have have sex with for five minutes and get off.

It's what the person values in a relationship. Do you value just money? Do you value just sex? Do you value relationships? and what type of relationships do you value? There is such a diversity in how the masculine and feminine relate with in different types of relationships, that sure we're learning that everyone is not like me that believes in a two people relationship.

I believe in my own experience in the last 10 years, I've had to accept there isn't one perfect answer for everyone and you can't place them all in one box. At the same time, you can't tell us who believe in the two people relationship we're wrong for keeping relationships sacred between two people.

I respect other people for their belief systems, but fortunately, in my observations of those who claimed it was so wonderful with sexual entertainment, sex workers, and more than one partner, now in 2019 are saying something completely different.

I think it looks wonderful, sounds wonderful, smell wonderful, but really is it the "Golden Key" to happiness? I believe there's a lot of people who might say it has a lot of psychological and emotional issues involved in it, and perhaps the masculine and feminine aren't always 100% honest, because they want to be loved, accepted, and fit in, but then it becomes too much over long period of time where they break out of the experience because they recognize it's not as healthy as others made it sound.
 

Kevin88660

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So your best advice is we should all have meaningless sex like a dog humping another dog and be on our way. :rofl:
I said if you want sex only. Then paid sex saves time.

If you want to have kids then get married and it is like playing a team sport or a joint partnership.

Young people in early 20s often get attached or in a relationship with no purpose of getting married. I find that time wasting. Declare themselves as a couple on facebook and pose photos on instal-gram for attention.
 
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G. Wellthy

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Without getting married, how would you produce kids that will take over your fastlane business? Kids are important too and no one is talking about it. Or is producing kids out of wedluck legal?

Building a business without the intent to sell it is a complete disaster for you and your child.

Without self-determination, you are enslaving your kids to an unfulfilled life.

If they want to follow in your footsteps and reach that conclusion independently, that is a blessing and you are fortunate. But I cannot stand this perspective and I’m not judging you for having it because it follows our natural instincts to protect and to seed.
 

G. Wellthy

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In most jurisdictions, conjugal relationships have pretty similar rights to married couples. So check out what being “common-law” means in your state.

If you are approaching six months together with the same person and they won’t sign a common law prenup... that’s probably a sign of bad times to come.
 

G. Wellthy

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Huh? Complete disaster? Can you elaborate?
Happy to elaborate. This is a soapbox topic for me.

The key word I use is “intent”. If the intent is to transfer intergenerationally, a few things naturally happen:

1) proper systems aren’t built in, the tendency being “no governance”
2) the creator never passes control and/or leadership, meaning you are condemning your kids to living in your shadow for the rest of your life
3) tax tail wags the dog, and the future growth of the business is gifted to heirs. Meaning they don’t pay to get the business. Like most investors, I would never invest in a business when management has no skin in the game. Chances of failure are so much higher.

If everyone understands that the business could be inherited OR could be sold, and that perspective is built into the long term strategy:

- heirs work harder and consider their lives without the business
- creators consider all alternatives including stronger boards, professional management, and selling the business (they start learning how to unpair their personal legacy from the business legacy)
 
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G. Wellthy

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Sounds like your definition of "complete disaster" is different than mine...

I have a business I'll never be able to sell -- I think it's safe to say that it will never be a disaster for my kids.
Not too many businesses are unsellable. Too tied to personal goodwill? You’re in RE right?

I’m using “disaster” to describe the relationship of wealth creator to the business, wealth creator to the kid, and the kid’s ability to lead a fulfilling life. Not the business itself.
 

G. Wellthy

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@JScott thank you for putting your LinkedIn profile on your page. You are so clearly a financial success AND doing so much good for fellow entrepreneurs.

It looks like you are well on your way (at a very young age) of ensuring your kids and grandkids will have very privileged lives.

This good fortune is of course almost all upside. Especially if you can use your actions and efforts to pass your values onto your kids.

Maybe I live in a bad bubble, but many, probably over half, of kids I interact with from wealthy families simply lose their values and get their priorities mixed up. They ultimately lead destructive or just less fulfilling lives.

So “complete disaster” is probably overly dramatic :) but from what I’ve read and experienced, wealth creators don’t always consider growing all “capital pools” of family wealth.

FW = FC(HC + RC)

Family wealth (or “legacy”) = financial capital x human and relational capital.

If you don’t help grow your family and relationships, well, at least your legacy can live on a plaque at a hospital or school.
 

Puripong

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Although the law in my country about divorce is not as brutally as in the United States, I completely agree that marriage or even non-marriage, but having a partner in a traditional society that men should hold responsible for almost everything women are pulling, are truly restraining the financial situation.

I'm not saying that men shouldn't be responsible for their girlfriend's life at all. However, if you aren't born with a silver spoon, it's much better if you decide to slow down having a serious relationship. Else you should find a partner who has a similar mindset about entrepreneurship to build and grow a business together instead of throwing all responsibility to their partner one-sided.
 
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Last edited:

YoungnBroke

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I know it sounds corny but I think there is a lid for every pot and if you find your dream women/men and you truly love every aspect of them you can marry them, but I think before marriage you should be together for at least 5 years and you should have lived together for 3 years, so you truly know everything about your partner and you don't have to trust them. :)
 
D

Deleted69685

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Sorry to hijack your thread but there is a way to "get married" without getting married legally, if that seems to be the concern here.

It is very simple:

1. Exchange vows in some formal ceremony, be it religious or non religious in front of close family and friends, it's your own ceremony and you can make it be what you want it to be.
2. Dont follow up this private ceremony with legal "state marriage" why let the State meddle into your personal affairs anyway.
3. Woman changes surname by way of legal document/statutory declaration/change of name deed. Suddenly post marriage she is Mrs so and so, as far as everyone else is concerned and also if you plan to have kids, it's easier.
4. You then draw up own separate mirror Wills and set up own personal affairs privately in the manner suited to your needs. Each respective party conserves own wealth in the way that is suitable for them both.

No legal marriage = no legal divorce.
 

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