HOT TOPIC Personal challenge - no porn, no coffee, more discipline!

[simplymoto]

PS: In regards to your "nose picking habit", you should definetely check an NLP technique called SWISH.

Here's a video that teaches you how to do it:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um9OiPaKuqI

It's a very effective technique used to stop all sorts of compulsions and undesirable patterns of behaviours (habits). It works from nail biting to excessive blinking - even OCD.

@mguerra, do you think SWISH works in overcoming your fear. Eg: repeat a certain feared thought in the head (i.e. “I have cancer” or “My gf will reject me”). Make the thought gloomy and vivid, and fade away with the SWISH technique being replaced by the intended results. I've heard it works wonders when it comes "life situations" like speaking to strangers / approaching girls. Any thoughts?

 

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[simplymoto]

Fapped and porned twice yesterday.

Day 0 again..

 

[KAIZOS]

You are really going at it bro, good job of reinventing yourself. Many people make excuses for it, but you just go after it.

I do want to give you some advice. I recommend only going PornFree while allowing yourself to fap once a week (to imagination/memories).

Science says that after 7 days your testosterone will peak after not fapping and lower after that. This way you optimize your T levels.

Going PornFree is really hard if you do it the willpower way, as you probably have noticed. I strongly recommend looking up the EasyPeasy method if you want to really get rid of it, instead of relapsing constantly.

 

[mguerra]

@mguerra, do you think SWISH works in overcoming your fear. Eg: repeat a certain feared thought in the head (i.e. “I have cancer” or “My gf will reject me”). Make the thought gloomy and vivid, and fade away with the SWISH technique being replaced by the intended results. I've heard it works wonders when it comes "life situations" like speaking to strangers / approaching girls. Any thoughts?

Hey brother,

Can you be more specific about the fear you are wishing to overcome so I can better help you?

(For what I understood, maybe you get better results by working with submodalities, another NLP techinique.)

If you are trying to overcome the fear of approaching girls, I have a really simple and KILLER script that works for me 90% of the time.

If you want I can dissect it here for you and others to benefit from.

 

[simplymoto]

It's my one year anniversary.

When I joined the forum slightly over a year ago, my company did a Series C level funding in the tunes of tens of millions USD in 2018, and I was given the biggest payout in my life. For someone that was on the brink of bankruptcy in 2016 and on my sixth year of full time in my own startup, it was cloud nine.

So why did I seek out FLF? Because amongst all the glamor, I would finish burning our cashflow in three years....something seemingly long but is really just around the corner for a company, and I do not want to fund-raise again by the end of the three year cycle. To myself, I looked like a startup-wannabe fund-raising again, without delivering for my investors. I knew deep down that if I don't get my act together, I will just continue in this cycle, 1) fund raise 2) burn cash 3) rinse and repeat. Maybe a bigger calling was that I know my life is in a mess, not the drug addict or living in debt, but I am living a life of ineffectiveness.

When I wanted to change first thing I realized is that I never seem to have enough time, there is always the emergency call, a last minute meeting or just handling complains etc. But the truth is very far from it, I am just wasting my time on seemingly important-but-not-really company task, but procrastinating the ones that matters.....I also waste a ton of time watching porn, surfing the web, chatting with other wannabe entrepreneurs, etc.....

One thing I really hate about myself is that my "carelessness with financials" , not about being spendthrift but about being forgetful, such as not remembering where I placed my money, Eg: I would realized that I actually have a recurring 50 USD monthly fees on a service I totally could have just cancelled and it's been rolling for two years....or I would find out that I actually have a private wallet which I bought bitcoins which I have totally neglected to record down....

I am also burning the midnight oil thinking that I am planning my product, but it actual fact half of the time till 3am in the morning is spent flirting with a chic on Tinder, and pretending to be really hard at work... If I can't even get priorities in order, how can I run a future billion dollar company... deep down I know I have a chance to run a a legacy company if I really get my act right.

I'll continue in the next post.

 

[simplymoto]

I realised that most of our biggest obstacle is our own discipline, if we are able to improve small steps daily, we’d reach somewhere.

My 2021 resolution is
1) learn GSD (Get Shit Done) better
2) learn to reinforce good habits
3) write diary

 

[S.Y.]

I realised that most of our biggest obstacle is our own discipline, if we are able to improve small steps daily, we’d reach somewhere.

My 2021 resolution is
1) learn GSD (Get Shit Done) better
2) learn to reinforce good habits
3) write diary

Add to discipline, our ego. And you have 95% of our obstacles.

#3 will change your life if you turn it into a reflection journal and stay brutally honest.

 

[MHP368]

Here's an interesting take.

What if you we're the kind of person , who never did the default action in any situation?

Alarm clock. Default. Snooze.

Candy / tobacco sensors pleasure. Default? Intake

Exercise. Default : sedentary.

Etc

What if instead of tackling life piecemeal , you simply changed who you perceive yourself to be internally into "someone who never does the default action"

An alcoholic doesn't win the battle with the bottle by dragging out "willpower" every time the urge presents itself and fighting, they win once they've internalized "not a drinker" to the point where "willpower" isn't an issue because it just isn't tempting.

 

[simplymoto]

Add to discipline, our ego. And you have 95% of our obstacles.

#3 will change your life if you turn it into a reflection journal and stay brutally honest.

I’ve been brutally honest in writing, on average once a week, for over a year.

But I avoid reading it, it’s like a facing a nagging self nagging a bad self.

 

[Harsha Vardhan]

I'm in this challenge.
My addictions are No Porn, No Fap and less than 2 hrs Screen time

 

[simplymoto]

I'm in this challenge.
My addictions are No Porn, No Fap and less than 2 hrs Screen time

Welcome to the challenge!

NoPorn, NoFap (or less Fap) has been one of the most rewarding thing I've done.

- saved 30 minutes a day
- sleeping earlier
- talk to real girls more
- less dopamine hit, and subsequently ability to concentrate (This is THE MOST important)

 

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[kefapy]

Why am i finding this now...love the thread....

 

[Harsha Vardhan]

Day 1 --
No Fap (Yes)
Without PORN there is no point in Fap.
No Porn (Yes)
Had the Urge to watch videos but Resisted IT.
Less Phone (Yes)
Using less phone didn't affect my life and I felt like I am feeling less dependant on my phone.
----------
I am considering to add other habits which are Waking up early and Meditation for 30 mins a day.

 

[simplymoto]

Day 1 --
No Fap (Yes)
Without PORN there is no point in Fap.
No Porn (Yes)
Had the Urge to watch videos but Resisted IT.
Less Phone (Yes)
Using less phone didn't affect my life and I felt like I am feeling less dependant on my phone.
----------
I am considering to add other habits which are Waking up early and Meditation for 30 mins a day.

I suspect waking up early will come easier with NoPorn ;-) That was my case.

 

[WJK]

I still have a huge personal problem of not following up with important things, major procrastination and forgetfulness, but it has improved because of this new habit. I wonder how I can do a daily personal challenge for this. Any suggestions?

One thing I can tell you about giving up a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. You were wasting your life on stuff that meant nothing in the long run. Now you want to change your life. Your mind is still not focused. You're still drifting like a boat without a keel. It sounds like you need to work on that issue. What habit can you create that can replace your drift? How can you track yourself and your activities better?

 

[Harsha Vardhan]

Day 2 --
No Fap (YES)
Had a Strong Urge to Do this But Refused to DO IT!!
No Porn (NO)
Accidentally opened my Twitter and had to go through pornographic images.
Less Phone (Yes)
I can live with my phone .
Early Bird (YES)
Not really woke up @ 6 AM but managed to wakeup at @7AM
Meditation(YES)
Yes, I have started to meditate for 10 mins.

 

[Harsha Vardhan]

Day 3 --
No Fap (YES)
Too much urge today cant tell you how much but controlled it!!
No Porn (YES)
This was too hard this day (but slowly I am getting to know how my brain has been affected by DOPAMINE!)
Less Phone (Yes)
I can do a lot using my laptop and rely less on my Phone.
Early Bird (YES)
Failed this today I didn't get much sleep. So I was in Bed.
Meditation(YES)
I have meditated for 10 mins.

 

[simplymoto]

No Porn / No Fap
Day 0 again, lasted for 29 days from 11 Dec to 9 Jan. The "improvement" was that I didn't end up in a two day fapathon like I sometimes do when I break.

Meditation
10 - 15 mins day as always. Just sit and things to help 1) chill 2) imagine a light between your temples 3) breath in imaginary growing light and breath our weaker light. I won't sweat it if my mind wander, which happens all the time.

Early Bird
I was waking up 6+ to 7 and it kinda went back to 7 + again after my girl move in with me. I am looking at waking up as early as possible again in 2021.

Less Phone
As most of us are office workers, phone is very connected to what most of us do. My suggestion to you is to set 15/30/60 minutes interval alarm clock so that we can concentrate on work, before flipping back to phone - which is also work but very disctracting kind - like sales reply. For me it was very tough to no look at the phone for 15 minutes when I was doing things I need to concentrate but procrastinate.

Re-emphasising my 2021 resolution is
1) learn GSD (Get Shit Done) better
2) learn to reinforce good habits (reinforcing no nose picking) @WJK said it right, it helps 100x if you can replace your old bad habit with a new one.
3) write diary

 

[WJK]

No Porn / No Fap
Day 0 again, lasted for 29 days from 11 Dec to 9 Jan. The "improvement" was that I didn't end up in a two day fapathon like I sometimes do when I break.

Meditation
10 - 15 mins day as always. Just sit and things to help 1) chill 2) imagine a light between your temples 3) breath in imaginary growing light and breath our weaker light. I won't sweat it if my mind wander, which happens all the time.

Early Bird
I was waking up 6+ to 7 and it kinda went back to 7 + again after my girl move in with me. I am looking at waking up as early as possible again in 2021.

Less Phone
As most of us are office workers, phone is very connected to what most of us do. My suggestion to you is to set 15/30/60 minutes interval alarm clock so that we can concentrate on work, before flipping back to phone - which is also work but very disctracting kind - like sales reply. For me it was very tough to no look at the phone for 15 minutes when I was doing things I need to concentrate but procrastinate.

Re-emphasising my 2021 resolution is
1) learn GSD (Get Shit Done) better
2) learn to reinforce good habits (reinforcing no nose picking) @WJK said it right, it helps 100x if you can replace your old bad habit with a new one.
3) write diary

Each night make a list of the most important 3 things that you must do the next day. Layout what you need to complete those 3 things and put your to-do list next to those items. Then visualize yourself doing each of them efficiently and effectively. WHEN you simply do the most important 3 things everyday, you'll be amazed at your progress. This goes for your workdays and your leisure days too. It's a daily habit like brushing your teeth.

Don't forget to keep a copy of that to-do list, and any notes that you make, in your daily log notes (diary). It's easy to forget what you did and when you did it. And when you get discouraged -- and you will have those days -- you can open your log and see your steady progress.

Why just 3 things on your list? Most people make lists that go on forever. And they get discouraged when they can't mark them all off. Furthermore, they cringe when they see that endless list unrolling. I figure that I can always add an extra chore WHEN I get my 3 things done for the day - if I want to or can do more. And I do the most important, or the one I hate the most, first thing in the morning. When that one is done, the rest of the day is smooth sailing.

My 3 things don't have to be mind-boggling huge. They can be baby steps to a bigger goal. The whole exercise to move forward each day rather than waiting for the right moment or mood.

Tomorrow and Monday are my days off from my office. I know we'll be going out of town on business during those days. But, tonight before I leave, I'll lay out the paperwork for my next working day and put my list of 3 on my whiteboard above my desk. I won't have to think about how my day will start on Tuesday. It's all decided and ready for me to go to work. I hope this helps...

 

[Harsha Vardhan]

It has been a few days since I posted here its because I haven't been using my Laptop that much these days.
But here is the progress of the things that I wanted to do:
No Fap: 2 days I have fapped in the timeline of 8 days (Have to admit that this one thing ruins my day If I break this one. But the urge was soo damn high but later I realized that the urge was coming from my Smartphone.)
LessPhone: This has been good but only the day I have Faped that's the day my Screentime was increased. Other than that this has been good.
Meditation: This is the worst part I have only done it very few times. (This is what I need to do more.)
Early Bird: This is also the same as meditation (but the problem is that I am sleeping @ 12 Night and want to wake up @ 6) That makes no sense right so have to go to bed early.


An Advice that I want from you guys is How do you deal with PORN.

 

[simplymoto]

Each night make a list of the most important 3 things that you must do the next day. Layout what you need to complete those 3 things and put your to-do list next to those items. Then visualize yourself doing each of them efficiently and effectively. WHEN you simply do the most important 3 things everyday, you'll be amazed at your progress. This goes for your workdays and your leisure days too. It's a daily habit like brushing your teeth.

Don't forget to keep a copy of that to-do list, and any notes that you make, in your daily log notes (diary). It's easy to forget what you did and when you did it. And when you get discouraged -- and you will have those days -- you can open your log and see your steady progress.

Why just 3 things on your list? Most people make lists that go on forever. And they get discouraged when they can't mark them all off. Furthermore, they cringe when they see that endless list unrolling. I figure that I can always add an extra chore WHEN I get my 3 things done for the day - if I want to or can do more. And I do the most important, or the one I hate the most, first thing in the morning. When that one is done, the rest of the day is smooth sailing.

My 3 things don't have to be mind-boggling huge. They can be baby steps to a bigger goal. The whole exercise to move forward each day rather than waiting for the right moment or mood.

Tomorrow and Monday are my days off from my office. I know we'll be going out of town on business during those days. But, tonight before I leave, I'll lay out the paperwork for my next working day and put my list of 3 on my whiteboard above my desk. I won't have to think about how my day will start on Tuesday. It's all decided and ready for me to go to work. I hope this helps...

Thank you @WJK, definitely work in progress for me, one of the best thing that happened to me during this horrid covid times is finding FLF, and attempting to do the GSD "Get Shit Done" daily challenge. Just three things, nothing more. I'll be very honest that I failed more than half of the time, and they are times I don't review my GSD list for two weeks, but even with this partial GSD achievement, I've seen a leap in myself.

 

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[simplymoto]

No Porn / No Fap
Day 0 again, lasted for 29 days from 11 Dec to 9 Jan. The "improvement" was that I didn't end up in a two day fapathon like I sometimes do when I break.

It sucks, but I broke my noporn/nofap yesterday, so just six days. Same routine, it was a weekend, I had my morning exercise and chilling at home relaxing, and the urge came knocking. It was also a single session, unlike the ones in 2020 where I could break and just jerk off three times a night.

Even with 2019 and 2020 hitting 30 or 40 days of nofap, I still struggle, like yesterday. Now it's back to basics, My challenge is noporn/nofap till 6th February the weekend, 21 days.

Less Phone
As most of us are office workers, phone is very connected to what most of us do. My suggestion to you is to set 15/30/60 minutes interval alarm clock so that we can concentrate on work, before flipping back to phone - which is also work but very disctracting kind - like sales reply. For me it was very tough to no look at the phone for 15 minutes when I was doing things I need to concentrate but procrastinate.

My death knell is Twitter. I got over Facebook, Instagram, YouTube bla bla but stopped working for me with Twitter. I think I spend like one two hours a day on it.

Re-emphasising my 2021 resolution is
1) learn GSD (Get Shit Done) better
2) learn to reinforce good habits (reinforcing no nose picking) @WJK said it right, it helps 100x if you can replace your old bad habit with a new one.
3) write diary

I totally forgot about my diary habit in 2021, for me, it doesn't need to be daily even, just once every few days.

 

[simplymoto]

An Advice that I want from you guys is How do you deal with PORN.

A few ways
1) I have not tried this, but someone in the forum did. Fire up a browser tab, and go to your fav porn site, after scrolling for 1 mins. Close the tab and go to work, or do whatever. Repeat this a few times, do you get the power of self-control when you off it?

2) Start dating actively, go and chat up with ladies say one girl a day or each week. You will be able to channel your hormones to real women hopefully. This worked well for me.

3) Work out or exercise. When you feel horny, go lift weights or run or whatever. This worked for me too.

4) Get a passion, or career, or something you really like. Easier said than done though.

hope it helps

 

[WJK]

Thank you @WJK, definitely work in progress for me, one of the best thing that happened to me during this horrid covid times is finding FLF, and attempting to do the GSD "Get Shit Done" daily challenge. Just three things, nothing more. I'll be very honest that I failed more than half of the time, and they are times I don't review my GSD list for two weeks, but even with this partial GSD achievement, I've seen a leap in myself.

Put your list in front of your face where you can't miss it. Put it where you can't ignore it. I have a whiteboard above my desk in my office. I put a line through items that are completed. Then I erase the lined-out items at the end of the day and make my new list for the next day. I use the space around my list to make myself notes and prompts. I have asked myself the same question all day long -- What can I do at this moment to further my goal?

 

[simplymoto]

Even with 2019 and 2020 hitting 30 or 40 days of nofap, I still struggle, like yesterday. Now it's back to basics, My challenge is noporn/nofap till 6th February the weekend, 21 days.

First weekend went well, now for the second and third. Till 6th February.

My death knell is Twitter. I got over Facebook, Instagram, YouTube bla bla but stopped working for me with Twitter. I think I spend like one two hours a day on it.

Spending a huge amount of time on Twitter. Works requires but I think it's mainly my isssue.

I totally forgot about my diary habit in 2021, for me, it doesn't need to be daily even, just once every few days.

Still didn't write any this whole week.

For yoga, this week went good where I practiced in every day except for one time, so this habit has been consistent in 2021, and also 2020 through out.

 

[simplymoto]

First weekend went well, now for the second and third. Till 6th February.

Just an update, for my own reminder.

OK 28 days no Fap, hurray! I am back.

Spending a huge amount of time on Twitter. Works requires but I think it's mainly my isssue.

Deleted Twitter and it helped for a week, currently got hooked on Reddit. Not good, but not as bad as there's more reading involved than Twitter, which is really a social platform-pretending-to-be-a-knowledge-platform.

Still didn't write any this whole week.

Still not writing, cry.

For yoga, this week went good where I practiced in every day except for one time, so this habit has been consistent in 2021, and also 2020 through out.

Almost everyday for 28 days, except for maybe 1 - 2 slip ups.

 

[simplymoto]

Its been 45 days since my last post, sadly fapping and porn has relapsed, I didn’t count but I’d say about 5 faps. The most recent was today and yesterday. It’s still far better than two years ago when it’s almost daily, but also far from my prior discipline.

My goal will be to get back to the 21 days abstinence soon, slowly but surely.

 

[simplymoto]

So it's been 18 months since I first joined this forum, and I just want to circle back my hits and misses.

No Social Media and subscription - It started with No Facebook but I replaced FB with Twitter (browser alot but don't post) and I again deleted Twitter. I also unsubscribed my Amazon Prime and Netflix.

No Porn No Fap - probably my biggest challenge and overall it's a work in progress, I've done 40 +, 30 + and often 20 days, there are days when I simply give up and fapmarathon. Still I am happy to where I am and where I was, especially considering the pandemic

No Coffee - I totally got over it for a year+ but have started drinking back because there is obvious health benefits observed. I was looking to be more calm and collected by not drinking coffee.

Meditation - I nailed this one too, still lots of noise in my mind, but much better.

Learning something every 30 minutes - this was replaced by not looking at the phone in window of 30 minutes.

I am not sure how much these habits helped, but I managed to grow my expendable net worth by ten fold through the 18 months. Not counting it fully but ya I think I was able to increase ten fold my net worth.

 

[simplymoto]

Its been 45 days since my last post, sadly fapping and porn has relapsed, I didn’t count but I’d say about 5 faps. The most recent was today and yesterday. It’s still far better than two years ago when it’s almost daily, but also far from my prior discipline.

My goal will be to get back to the 21 days abstinence soon, slowly but surely.

No Fap for 7 days so far, and counting.

I've also been able to meditate 10 - 15 mins calmly lately, with less jittery.