The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

EXECUTION Disciplined Lifestyle - No Pornography, Replacing Bad Habits

Remove ads while supporting the Unscripted philosophy...become an INSIDER.

xy2_

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Mar 26, 2020
43
116
118
France
I'm creating this thread as accountability to myself: no pornography, no masturbation.
Rules: It's relapse if I seek out pornography, or masturbate.

I've had a problem with pornography since I was 15, for the last six years.

It is a way for me to escape reality whenever things don't go my way. It got really bad about two years ago; I realized that life passed me by while I was spending hours every day thinking about and watching pornography.

Since then I've made a half-assed effort at stopping, and it didn't stick. In recent weeks, it has become critical for me to stop, because I miss valuable hours of work while I do it. Furthermore, my urges come at my lowest moments, when I feel hesitant or afraid about the work and nothing is going right - I escape.

I will stop, and replace this habit with meditation.

I'll update this thread periodically with my wins and losses.

Screenshot_20210402-215546_I_Am_Sober.png
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

KenDunlop

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 3, 2021
41
33
45
I've been off porn for more than six months now myself (I'm 37, though, rather different). Like you, I quit when I took a long, sober look at porn and realized that it's a form of escapism. (Escapism vs reality is one of my big ideas in my Losers vs Winners post on this forum.) I think I started at 14 or 15 or so, like you, but back in my day porn barely existed on the internet, you really had to work to even find a naked picture. I can't imagine growing up with what they have now.

Have you found you feel different? After six months, I can honestly say I feel edgier, more focused, and more aggressive. It's something a lot of people are afraid of, but I don't think it's a bad thing. Then I realized that this is how healthy, normal men used to feel all the time before the invention of porn. People on the internet like to joke about NoFap 'superpowers', but really they're not superpowers, they're just your natural strength exerting itself for the first time.

I hear being on NoFap makes you more attractive to women because they can instinctively tell if you've actually sex or just had a fap. I haven't tested this yet but it's something I'll definitely check when the pandemic is over!

Here's a thought I found exciting: apparently 98% of men have jerked off to porn in the last six months. That means that if you can quit porn, you're actually in the top 2% of men in a sense!
 
Last edited:

simplymoto

Bronze Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Sep 21, 2019
160
144
124
I've been off porn for more than six months now myself (I'm 37, though, rather different). Like you, I quit when I took a long, sober look at porn and realized that it's a form of escapism. (Escapism vs reality is one of my big ideas in my Losers vs Winners post on this forum.) I think I started at 14 or 15 or so, like you, but back in my day porn barely existed on the internet, you really had to work to even find a naked picture. I can't imagine growing up with what they have now.

Have you found you feel different? After six months, I can honestly say I feel edgier, more focused, and more aggressive. It's something a lot of people are afraid of, but I don't think it's a bad thing. Then I realized that this is how healthy, normal men used to feel all the time before the invention of porn. People on the internet like to joke about NoFap 'superpowers', but really they're not superpowers, they're just your natural strength exerting itself for the first time.

I hear being on NoFap makes you more attractive to women because they can instinctively tell if you've actually sex or just had a fap. I haven't tested this yet but it's something I'll definitely check when the pandemic is over!

Here's a thought I found exciting: apparently 98% of men have jerked off to porn in the last six months. That means that if you can quit porn, you're actually in the top 2% of men in a sense!
Massive respect to you, I am about the same age as you and the most I’ve done was about 45 days. How did you manage to do that?!
 

KenDunlop

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 3, 2021
41
33
45
Massive respect to you, I am about the same age as you and the most I’ve done was about 45 days. How did you manage to do that?!
The first three days were the hardest, and I did have a relapse at some point (not during the six-month streak, though). I remember sitting there, trying to quit porn, and looking at my browser icon, realizing what it represented, and just how easy it would be to use porn, any moment I chose. A world of porn was only a click away. I actually used my time on furlough from work during the pandemic as an opportunity to do this.

My biggest tip for quitting is to acknowledge that it's not easy! As soon as I think it's easy, I think I'll relapse. I try to think of my sexual feelings as something fun, and powerful (because in many ways they are). Over six months I really think my brain has healed from the damage porn has done to it, and that's saying something as someone who has been using porn for half his life. I was really using porn to relax more than anything else, and afraid of how I might feel if I stopped. Eventually I realized I was getting less and less satisfaction from it, and was acting out of fear of confronting my true feelings. I've known for a while that overcoming fear and avoiding escapism are big themes in success, so I knew I'd have to quit.

I saw a YouTube comment once that compared the 'no porn challenge' to the 'no cocaine challenge' and I think that's the right comparison. Your body was never built to live in a world with easily-obtainable sex, much less easily-obtainable fake sex. I was telling myself porn was harmless, perhaps even healthy, for a long time, but I think it really messes with your brain and whatever 'benefits' it gives gradually diminish.
 
Last edited:

Fox

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
Forum Sponsor
Aug 19, 2015
2,774
19,731
3,756
Europe
You need a girlfriend and should spend more time working. Building a business will be better for your brain than sitting around in your living room telling yourself to let your thoughts go.

This is the right idea.

Make your life about something else that is a lot more fun and interesting than porn.

Don't make your life about not being about porn > now you are just thinking about not thinking about it.
 

simplymoto

Bronze Contributor
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Sep 21, 2019
160
144
124
The first three days were the hardest, and I did have a relapse at some point (not during the six-month streak, though). I remember sitting there, trying to quit porn, and looking at my browser icon, realizing what it represented, and just how easy it would be to use porn, any moment I chose. A world of porn was only a click away. I actually used my time on furlough from work during the pandemic as an opportunity to do this.

My biggest tip for quitting is to acknowledge that it's not easy! As soon as I think it's easy, I think I'll relapse. I try to think of my sexual feelings as something fun, and powerful (because in many ways they are). Over six months I really think my brain has healed from the damage porn has done to it, and that's saying something as someone who has been using porn for half his life. I was really using porn to relax more than anything else, and afraid of how I might feel if I stopped. Eventually I realized I was getting less and less satisfaction from it, and was acting out of fear of confronting my true feelings. I've known for a while that overcoming fear and avoiding escapism are big themes in success, so I knew I'd have to quit.

I saw a YouTube comment once that compared the 'no porn challenge' to the 'no cocaine challenge' and I think that's the right comparison. Your body was never built to live in a world with easily-obtainable sex, much less easily-obtainable fake sex. I was telling myself porn was harmless, perhaps even healthy, for a long time, but I think it really messes with your brain and whatever 'benefits' it gives gradually diminish.
Porn is a little like taking drugs (I think), each time you take it you become sharper right after (now that I say, I realise I fapped alot during my studies cos each time after fapping my mind becomes clearer) but I think overall the dependency increases and your mind becomes murkier unless you keep fapping/porn.
 

KenDunlop

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 3, 2021
41
33
45
Porn is a little like taking drugs (I think), each time you take it you become sharper right after (now that I say, I realise I fapped alot during my studies cos each time after fapping my mind becomes clearer) but I think overall the dependency increases and your mind becomes murkier unless you keep fapping/porn.
I agree. Often after I'd jerked off I'd rationalize it by thinking, 'I'm more relaxed now! Now I can think clearly.' I tried to see it as a useful companion to work.
Long-term, however, there seemed to be a problem. It's hard to imagine any uber-successful person jerking off to porn each night. No-one really feels proud after they jerk off to porn. Short term vs long term is a big paradigm for me.
 
Last edited:

KenDunlop

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 3, 2021
41
33
45
I feel like mentioning something. I suspect that controlling your desire for sex is a very powerful thing that puts you into a rare class by itself.
Take a look at YouTube or most websites and you'll see images of attractive women used to sell you things. They know that thumbnails with boobs in them get more clicks. Everywhere you look, your sexuality is being exploited for things that have nothing actually to do with sex. Like porn, it's very artificial; they're basically just 'pressing your buttons'. If you can take control of your own desires, you become impossible to control.

It's like when I started trying to lose weight. As soon as you commit to something like that, you become aware that there's temptation everywhere. I could walk down the high street and see McDonalds on my left, Burger King on my right, all convenient, short-term solutions that would take me further from my long-term goal.

Of course, I'm only six months into my NoFap journey so I can't speak for the long-term results, but it certainly sounds like the right thing to do!
 

Don't like ads? Remove them while supporting the forum. Subscribe.

Mar 30, 2021
2
0
2
26
It's good you realize it's escapism. However, that's not enough. It's likely that until you resolve the reason you're escaping, you're still just using bandaids to heal a gunshot wound. You could also just be bored in which case you just need to get busier and your problem is solved. But do you have some unresolved childhood trauma? Any imbalances? Carl Jung calls this the shadow self. Essentially parts of your subconscious that are using mental bandwidth that you are unaware of at any given time.

Kinda like this:spongebob.gif
 

KenDunlop

Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Apr 3, 2021
41
33
45
It's good you realize it's escapism. However, that's not enough. It's likely that until you resolve the reason you're escaping, you're still just using bandaids to heal a gunshot wound. You could also just be bored in which case you just need to get busier and your problem is solved. But do you have some unresolved childhood trauma? Any imbalances? Carl Jung calls this the shadow self. Essentially parts of your subconscious that are using mental bandwidth that you are unaware of at any given time.

Kinda like this:View attachment 37467
That's a good point. I've started looking into Carl Jung myself. I know that pathological behaviour is often a sign of a deeper problem.
Stopping using porn is just the first part for me. I plan to leave my small town as soon as I can and starting dating somewhere more populated by following the advice of Caleb Jones. I'll go from just not-jerking-off to having real sex with women!
 

xy2_

Bronze Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Mar 26, 2020
43
116
118
France
Today is 17 days.

Screenshot_20210410-202508_I_Am_Sober.png

As Johnny boy and others suggested, I'm taking a look at what I can do.

Right now I want to spend a lot more time building my business. I'm currently freelancing and studying at the same time, so I enjoy the extra time.

However, outside of work, I saw that I didn't have much to do whenever I finish my work. I've decided to take up studying Japanese. I already study it at uni, and also do it whenever I feel like it in my free time, which used to be never.

This used to be the pattern with my old self; I start things, get motivated for a few days/weeks, and then drop it. The only constant in my life was pornography, the one thing I stuck to.

A difficult situation happened today; I finished work an hour before sleep, so I had an hour of free time. This is the time where I would use porn and escape. Instead, I went outside and practiced some vocabulary while walking around.

Another point: because of porn, I thought that I didn't need a real relationship; my fantasies were more fulfilling. Since I've given up however my outlook is a bit different.

If I want to get a girlfriend, I have to do the work on my end. Another objective I've taken up is to take care of myself. I'll do the things that scare me every day. I've written, "If you do the same things, you'll get the same results" and taped it onto my wall.

For example, yesterday I went to a party at uni for the first time in my life. It was really scary at first! At the start, people asked me if I were okay because I was just completely freezing up :D At that moment I really thought of running out the door and excusing myself, to be honest.

But I couldn't; if I did that would mean running away like I do all the time. I forced myself to stay despite my fear for as long as I could. I gradually relaxed. After a while, I even got the courage to initiate and talk to people, got to eat some good food, and talk with some people I've never met before.

I'll be as vulnerable here as I can, so others can relate. Writing here today has helped me stay on the right path. I'll keep moving forward on that path because it's the only path where I can face reality and improve.

Sorry for the long post haha :p I'll try to keep it short from here on out.
 

Sponsored Offers

  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Fox Web School "Legend" Group Coaching Program 2021
Hi - can you DM me your info and I will send on some proper links. I could type it out but it...
  • Sticky
FEATURED! Introducing... WEALTH EXPO$ED, A Short Story By MJ DeMarco
It's an affiliate link, so it's hard to give those up! The affiliate links are automatically...
MARKETPLACE Not sure how to start? This free book will teach you how to build a successful web design business
I would suggest you change the free book to paid as soon as possible, and use the revenue to...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Lex DeVille's - Advanced Freelance Udemy Courses!
A week ago someone asked if one of my courses is still relevant (referring to the Upwork...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE You Are One Call Away From Living Your Dream Life - LightHouse’s Accountability Program ⚡
Thanks for clearing that up. What do you recommend for those who are still in the process of...
  • Sticky
MARKETPLACE Kill Bigger Incubator
I have not offered one of these in a while, but it looks like I have time to take on an...

What are Fastlaners Currently Reading?



Forum Sponsor

Grow an online business:
- Start immediately!
- Master business skills!
- 100+ Fastlane students enrolled!
Review & Details >

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom