Peak Fulfillment - Life After Exiting The Rat Race

[NeoDialectic]

Someone on the forums recently asked about daily life for those who successfully exited the rat race. I was going to point towards the recent Hobbies thread, but that's not quite the same answer. I haven't seen a thread about the daily life or mindset shifts that happen post-exit, so here it is. If you have exited the rat race, let us hear your mindset shift or daily life afterward. Tag someone that you think applies and could contribute!

Sitting down and absorbing the idea that you could technically do whatever you want right now (within reason) is a pretty wild thing. In reality, I think most people go through transition phases. Most people rely on family and "earning a living" for fulfillment. When the second part disappears, you must find meaning in other things. This is extremely difficult for many people and can lead down some pretty bad paths. I think the secret is to continue challenging yourself and improving as a human. I would be interested in seeing what others say about this.

~2.5 years ago, the day after we sold our business and had no more financial/business responsibility, we showed up to "work" as if nothing changed. We got the shovel out and did the only thing we knew. Worked. For the last two years, we have explored many different business "project," and almost all purely out of interest. For example, we spent some time putting together an e-commerce course with others, but about 3/4 of the way through, we decided that's not who we wanted to become (course makers/sellers), so we ditched it with no regrets. No feelings of "wasted" time. We learned new skills along the way, so it was a win/win!

The only thing we did "for money" was put together new brands to sell online. We know it intimately, and making money still "feels" good! We also think that those who give advice should walk the walk and have skin in the game. So this was our way of staying in the know. Next thing we know, we are managing a 6 figure business with eight products on the market. We are still not too excited about being back to selling products, but running a business with income feels nice, so we spend a few hours a week on it.

A little more than a year ago, my wife and I decided to start traveling for two weeks out of every month before our oldest started kindergarten. So I've been away ALOT. Iceland, Italy, Switzerland, Portugal, Alaska, Turks, etc... Traveling with two young toddlers is challenging but very fulfilling. Planning a major trip right after returning from one is also much harder than it seems, so there isn't that much free time left.

When I'm home, I usually listen to or read a decent amount of philosophy, debate, or politics. I enjoy it. When I find a spare hour here or there, I'm constantly rotating through some kind of hobby that generally involves learning/skill/practice. I went through a nice mountain biking phase for a while. I bought a nice welder in the last few weeks and learned to Mig & Stick weld. Now, I'm getting ready to upgrade my Bow and spend some time with it to improve my form and increase my accurate range. But really, most of my time outside of "business hours" is taken up by family time. So, I'm always struggling to "find more time."

Keep in mind that this answer would be very different if you don't have wife/kids or if you were a different age (I'm in mid 30s). My own answer will be very different now that my oldest has just started kindergarten, and we will be down to a few vacations a year. I'm excited to spend more time on projects, hobbies, and business ventures.

Most importantly, I am thankful for the freedom to keep figuring out "what now" on a daily basis.

 

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[Aidan04]

I think I can speak for us all that we wish we could be in your shoes. I bet the feeling is indescribable, that you can seemingly do whatever you desire within reason.

I would be doing the same thing. Bigger and better projects. Pursue the insane ideas I have that may not exactly have market viability, but are more focused on improving the world and addressing deep problems.

Also, see the world, meet extraordinary people, and find internal peace.

 

[WJK]

Someone on the forums recently asked about daily life for those who successfully exited the rat race. I was going to point towards the recent Hobbies thread, but that's not quite the same answer. I haven't seen a thread about the daily life or mindset shifts that happen post-exit, so here it is. If you have exited the rat race, let us hear your mindset shift or daily life afterward. Tag someone that you think applies and could contribute!

Sitting down and absorbing the idea that you could technically do whatever you want right now (within reason) is a pretty wild thing. In reality, I think most people go through transition phases. Most people rely on family and "earning a living" for fulfillment. When the second part disappears, you must find meaning in other things. This is extremely difficult for many people and can lead down some pretty bad paths. I think the secret is to continue challenging yourself and improving as a human. I would be interested in seeing what others say about this.

~2.5 years ago, the day after we sold our business and had no more financial/business responsibility, we showed up to "work" as if nothing changed. We got the shovel out and did the only thing we knew. Worked. For the last two years, we have explored many different business "project," and almost all purely out of interest. For example, we spent some time putting together an e-commerce course with others, but about 3/4 of the way through, we decided that's not who we wanted to become (course makers/sellers), so we ditched it with no regrets. No feelings of "wasted" time. We learned new skills along the way, so it was a win/win!

The only thing we did "for money" was put together new brands to sell online. We know it intimately, and making money still "feels" good! We also think that those who give advice should walk the walk and have skin in the game. So this was our way of staying in the know. Next thing we know, we are managing a 6 figure business with eight products on the market. We are still not too excited about being back to selling products, but running a business with income feels nice, so we spend a few hours a week on it.

A little more than a year ago, my wife and I decided to start traveling for two weeks out of every month before our oldest started kindergarten. So I've been away ALOT. Iceland, Italy, Switzerland, Portugal, Alaska, Turks, etc... Traveling with two young toddlers is challenging but very fulfilling. Planning a major trip right after returning from one is also much harder than it seems, so there isn't that much free time left.

When I'm home, I usually listen to or read a decent amount of philosophy, debate, or politics. I enjoy it. When I find a spare hour here or there, I'm constantly rotating through some kind of hobby that generally involves learning/skill/practice. I went through a nice mountain biking phase for a while. I bought a nice welder in the last few weeks and learned to Mig & Stick weld. Now, I'm getting ready to upgrade my Bow and spend some time with it to improve my form and increase my accurate range. But really, most of my time outside of "business hours" is taken up by family time. So, I'm always struggling to "find more time."

Keep in mind that this answer would be very different if you don't have wife/kids or if you were a different age (I'm in mid 30s). My own answer will be very different now that my oldest has just started kindergarten, and we will be down to a few vacations a year. I'm excited to spend more time on projects, hobbies, and business ventures.

Most importantly, I am thankful for the freedom to keep figuring out "what now" on a daily basis.

I wandered around asking the same question when I crossed a 30-year goal off of my daily list in 2020. I really never got a good answer. "When you have climbed your Mt. Olympus, what do you do then? Do you climb another mountain?" I've traveled a lot over the years. There was nowhere I wanted to go and Covid was raging. There was nothing I wanted to buy. So, I did what you did. I showed up and continued working. It's all I've ever known to do.

 

[MaxKhalus]

Someone on the forums recently asked about daily life for those who successfully exited the rat race. I was going to point towards the recent Hobbies thread, but that's not quite the same answer. I haven't seen a thread about the daily life or mindset shifts that happen post-exit, so here it is. If you have exited the rat race, let us hear your mindset shift or daily life afterward. Tag someone that you think applies and could contribute!

Sitting down and absorbing the idea that you could technically do whatever you want right now (within reason) is a pretty wild thing. In reality, I think most people go through transition phases. Most people rely on family and "earning a living" for fulfillment. When the second part disappears, you must find meaning in other things. This is extremely difficult for many people and can lead down some pretty bad paths. I think the secret is to continue challenging yourself and improving as a human. I would be interested in seeing what others say about this.

~2.5 years ago, the day after we sold our business and had no more financial/business responsibility, we showed up to "work" as if nothing changed. We got the shovel out and did the only thing we knew. Worked. For the last two years, we have explored many different business "project," and almost all purely out of interest. For example, we spent some time putting together an e-commerce course with others, but about 3/4 of the way through, we decided that's not who we wanted to become (course makers/sellers), so we ditched it with no regrets. No feelings of "wasted" time. We learned new skills along the way, so it was a win/win!

The only thing we did "for money" was put together new brands to sell online. We know it intimately, and making money still "feels" good! We also think that those who give advice should walk the walk and have skin in the game. So this was our way of staying in the know. Next thing we know, we are managing a 6 figure business with eight products on the market. We are still not too excited about being back to selling products, but running a business with income feels nice, so we spend a few hours a week on it.

A little more than a year ago, my wife and I decided to start traveling for two weeks out of every month before our oldest started kindergarten. So I've been away ALOT. Iceland, Italy, Switzerland, Portugal, Alaska, Turks, etc... Traveling with two young toddlers is challenging but very fulfilling. Planning a major trip right after returning from one is also much harder than it seems, so there isn't that much free time left.

When I'm home, I usually listen to or read a decent amount of philosophy, debate, or politics. I enjoy it. When I find a spare hour here or there, I'm constantly rotating through some kind of hobby that generally involves learning/skill/practice. I went through a nice mountain biking phase for a while. I bought a nice welder in the last few weeks and learned to Mig & Stick weld. Now, I'm getting ready to upgrade my Bow and spend some time with it to improve my form and increase my accurate range. But really, most of my time outside of "business hours" is taken up by family time. So, I'm always struggling to "find more time."

Keep in mind that this answer would be very different if you don't have wife/kids or if you were a different age (I'm in mid 30s). My own answer will be very different now that my oldest has just started kindergarten, and we will be down to a few vacations a year. I'm excited to spend more time on projects, hobbies, and business ventures.

Most importantly, I am thankful for the freedom to keep figuring out "what now" on a daily basis.

when you travel so much, how does the pass of time feel like compared to when you were more focused at work?

 

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[MTF]

Most people rely on family and "earning a living" for fulfillment. When the second part disappears, you must find meaning in other things. This is extremely difficult for many people and can lead down some pretty bad paths.

I second that. Very few people who aren't yet there are capable of understanding how dark it can get. After all, you imagine that once you hit your exit number, you'll just enjoy life. It'll be rainbows and unicorns. But it quickly gets depressing because you've lost your main drive in life (particularly if your life has been out of balance for years, focused almost exclusively on hustling).

A few years after hitting financial independence I'm still in the process of figuring out how to structure my life now. It's a struggle.

For depression-prone individuals, it can be a greater challenge not to go crazy after reaching financial freedom than it is to achieve financial freedom. People have huge expectations for their post-Fastlane lifestyle and often it ends up being a non-event because your life doesn't magically become perfect overnight.

It's very, very easy to become nihilistic after hitting your financial goals. I don't remember who said it (perhaps Alex Hormozi) but someone said "I reached the top of the mountain and found nothing there."

Yeah, life without money worries is awesome but it's just a fraction of what makes a great life. If you assume that hitting financial independence will solve all your problems, you'll end up extremely disappointed. This is why I don't like the hustle culture. You're in for a rude awakening once you realize you don't have to work anymore but you aren't magically unconditionally happy.

Some people cope by pushing their financial goals higher and higher, never getting there and ending up miserable, all in a quest to accumulate more and more money (this would be your stereotypical "evil" greedy guy).

Some people cope by destructive habits (like Felix Dennis with drugs and prostitutes) and destroy their health or blow most of their money.

Some people simply get depressed, seeing no point in further life after realizing that financial independence doesn't give them unconditional happiness (it may even make them feel worse because they may feel ungrateful that they're still unhappy despite having so much).

A similar thing happens with astronauts or athletes ending their careers. It may be extremely hard to transition from a life with a clear purpose to a life where your main obsession is now gone and you feel like you've accomplished all there was to accomplish.

I think the secret is to continue challenging yourself and improving as a human.

I would agree with that though this may be hard if you used to define your progress exclusively by money (as most entrepreneurs do). You need to retrain yourself in the way you judge whether something is valuable or not.

Many entrepreneurs may feel like they're wasting their time if their main focus isn't generating money. So many would probably still have to improve/challenge themselves through somewhat financial-motivated pursuits or feel slightly dissatisfied with their lives. (The third path to feel good is through deep, hard inner work but that may be a lifelong project to change from a driven, ambitious individual to a person content where they are, no longer needing to progress to feel good.)

Let's say that you reach financial independence and decide to become an ultra-runner. You can quantify your progress, perhaps even compete, but deep down you may feel like it's a self-serving, unproductive pursuit. After all, it produces nothing.

Even if you decide to retire and create art, I imagine that most entrepreneurs won't feel satisfied with that unless their work becomes successful. If you're wired to produce value and get market confirmation for it (in the form of money), it's very hard to create art just for yourself as it feels like a waste of time (no value produced for others) or like a failure (because nobody's paying for it).

Example: you decide to write that novel you've always wanted to write once you retire. You write it for yourself and now what? It contributes nothing to the world. If you publish it, now what? Are you, a seasoned value producer, going to be satisfied with just publishing it and doing nothing to sell as many copies as you can?

All this is to say that entrepreneurs often tend to assess success through financial data. Even if you're retired, you may not want to spend a year writing a novel only to sell 50 copies as it feels like a waste of time and energy. So you'll either go big (and essentially launch another business meeting the market demand instead of writing that dream story) or you'll decide it's not worth it despite the financial success of the book (or lack thereof) having no impact on your life.

~2.5 years ago, the day after we sold our business and had no more financial/business responsibility, we showed up to "work" as if nothing changed. We got the shovel out and did the only thing we knew. Worked.

Just to respectfully challenge this: humans will always keep doing what they're most familiar with. So in a way, this may have been laziness on your part. Out of all the new paths you could have taken, you've decided to stick to the familiar one. This may become a workaholic trap where you'll spend the entire life working just because it's the only thing you know.

You're both family guys so why not prioritize your health and spend the majority of your time becoming as healthy and fit as you could possibly get instead of continuing to work? Your second mountain could be to reach the performance of a person who's 10 years younger biologically (Peter Attia's Outlive book is a great guide on how to achieve that).

Most importantly, I am thankful for the freedom to keep figuring out "what now" on a daily basis.

100%. I have to keep reminding myself of it during the dark moments. Despite the mental challenges of figuring out what next, I would never want to go back to being broke.

Some random things I've been thinking about on this topic:

• There's nothing more important in life than health. Based on my research, for optimal health you need to invest at the very least 3-4 hours a day (on exercise, diet and other stuff) so this by itself can become your main focus once you're retired (maximizing your healthspan so you get to enjoy your fortune for as long as possible in the best health possible). For those with kids, I'd say this is even a moral imperative to become the fittest person possible. It's illogical to just have mediocre health if you have all the resources in the world to be at the highest level.
• Besides taking care of your health physically, there's also a lot you can do for your mental health. Many entrepreneurs are f*cked up in one way or another so retirement may be the right time to confront that instead of hiding in "new projects."
• Many people believe that traveling is something they'll do once they retire. That's definitely a cool thing to do but the truth is that once you travel a lot, you'll start seeing similar things everywhere. After a while, you'll get tired of moving from one place to another so often. You'll get tired of sleeping in hotels or Airbnbs. You'll long for your own set-up. After a few years of traveling a lot, you'd probably travel less and will need to find another occupation. I'm not saying you can't travel some of the time but unless you're a hardcore traveler, you won't travel all the time once you see the things you most wanted to see (and you'll travel even less if you live in or move to a place that has most of these things).
• Try as many things as possible. You never know what you're good at. Perhaps your next thing can be 10x bigger than your financial success but you haven't tried it yet. As Brandon Sanderson wrote, "One of the great tragedies of life is knowing how many people in the world are made to soar, paint, sing, or steer—except they never get the chance to find out."
• It's a (hugely important) skill to be able to relax and do nothing. Grab a beach chair and go to the beach/forest/park/backyard and sit there for an hour just sitting. Can you do that or do you get anxious? If so, this could be a great thing to work on as well. After all, once you're retired, you can focus on enjoying life. And if you can't pause and relax, what was the point of all this hard work?

As a closing point, here's a fitting quote from Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance:

Convinced that we are not good enough, we can never relax. We stay on guard, monitoring ourselves for shortcomings. When we inevitably find them, we feel even more insecure and undeserving. We have to try even harder. The irony of all of this is… where do we think we are going anyway? One meditation student told me that he felt as if he were steamrolling through his days, driven by the feeling that he needed to do more. In a wistful tone he added, “I’m skimming over life and racing to the finish line—death.”

I apologize if this is a little chaotic. I rarely post on the forum these days so I'm a little out of practice.

 

[Antifragile]

This is awesome and should be read as the highest standard, as the thread title says "Peak Fulfilment".

Yet depending on how you read these threads and posts, it can come off as "now what?" or "was it even worth it?". Don't let that be you, dear reader. It is absolutely essential you focus on your financial goals. People who say "money doesn't buy you happiness" are lying. Taking it to extreme, no money, family and inability to feed yourself and your kids would be misery of the highest order.

I am not the one to look for that "exit number" because that's not my identity. And frankly we've blown past my past dreams many times and reset the bar. While I don't wish to compete for prestige (scarce, like power - there can only be one richest person, one President of the USA etc.), I will continue to compete for wealth (unlimited - money is printed people... there is no limit & wealth is just a byproduct of you creating something other people use, the more the better, again no limit). To me this is doing meaningful work, setting an example for my family, friends and anyone around me.

@MJ DeMarco is an accomplished author, he probably created countless millionaires through his books alone. That's meaningful work. He's made it possible for himself to live this life of an author through successful entrepreneurship.

We are all different. While you are chasing your financial dreams, do the work and your identity will take care of itself. Sometimes it can take many years of doing something to realize how much you love it. The work itself is a reward too. Especially if you are doing work in something you are curious about. If you are creating something useful, something you would use yourself.

If you do work that's meaningful, the very difficulty of big tasks will help you with everyday difficulties of the world, serve as a refuge. This is a meaningful way of escaping the mundane to focus on the meaningful. A lot of the unhappiness people describe on this forum comes from the mundane and useless (think any kind of addictive: social media, gaming, alcohol, etc.)

I am not saying that people who do great work are happier than everyone else, I am saying they are happier than they otherwise would have been. This is true for me and I believe it to be true for you. When we work on things we are curious about, there is often a state of "flow". To think that financial freedom means doing nothing after is a mistake. Plan to do meaningful work for the rest of your life.

My personal three pillars of identity are tied to the following in that order:
1. Family
2. Health
3. Business

Business supports the top 2. It'll always be there but may change forms. One platform may be sold to free up capital and time to start another. It's not because there isn't another Mt. ____ to climb; but because the journey of climbing it is part of the identity. It is part of doing meaningful work.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

My philosophy and the FIRE strategy sound awfully similar, but they are not.

The only similarity is the strategy of wealth accumulation to the point where you have TIME freedom, and never need to "work" again in a traditional sense.

FASTLANE is about TIME and FINANCIAL FREEDOM.
FIRE is about TIME freedom.

FASTLANE is not about "retirement" in a FIRE sense where you have adequate resources so you can sit around all day, play checkers, and look at the prices of things you cannot buy.

FASTLANE is about having abundant resources to pursue whatever passions you have, regardless of economic viability.

Think about how the billionaires in the world live their lives: They accumulate massive wealth through some enterprise focus, then they diversify into more passionate pursuits; space, rockets, pro sports teams ownership, activism, vax genocide (lol), and whatever else.

This is the Fastlane -- which great news -- doesn't require billions, but still is within reach for millions of dollars, depending on your goals.

There is no greater purpose than making a difference, and knowing that when you leave this planet, your work/legacy will live on, and not just with your bloodlines.

Sidenote: If you can't change yourself and your own life, you'll have a hard time changing the world.

 

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[Kak]

Think about how the billionaires in the world live their lives: They accumulate massive wealth through some enterprise focus, then they diversify into more passionate pursuits; space, rockets, pro sports teams ownership, activism, vax genocide (lol), and whatever else.

LMAO

 

[Kak]

I remember playing Grand Theft Auto (judge all you want, I do now) as a kid and having 70 zillion dollars.

I remember how boring it was to play when the only thing even available to spend the money on was cars, guns and houses, especially when I already had everything.

Thankfully life has a LOT a lot more options than grand theft auto.

No one on earth knows what it’s like to actually be that rich relative to the things available to you.

Business or no business. Work or no work. Widen your horizons forever. In contrast, there’s 70 zillion times more out there than time we have available to experience it.

I have many ideas for passion projects.

 

[fastlane_dad]

Awesome topic and thread, and I also echo many of @NeoDialectic sentiments. We are officially 2.5 years out from selling our business.

We were at or very close to ‘financially free’ prior to our exit event, so there was no big revelations there. The ironic part is most if not all of our goal ‘material goods’ purchases was made long before we sold our business. I crossed many of the list myself as well – so there wasn’t much in that sense for us to look forward to once the t’s an I’s were crossed.

What we DID acquire though is TIME freedom, in combination with MONEY freedom. Those events also (for both @NeoDialectic and myself) coincided with the addition of children to our families, and for those who do have them – know what an effort of time and energy they are. It’s been great to be able to be as present as I needed (or wanted) to be for my wife / kids and show up as a dad (hence fastlane_dad!)

Having extra time, without being responsible for a 8+ figure business definitely allows for endless options of how to spend that as well. What do we do with all this ‘new found freedom’ – where essentially we can do anything, be anywhere, and become anyone now (within reason)?

The realization is we kept on doing what we knew best how to do – and that’s work (to some extent at least)! Without a concise goal now or a definite plan, it becomes more of a challenge to dangle any type of carrot in front of us – so work in itself must be the effort, result and the reward. In a financial sense, there is not much more motivation to ‘do things today – for a better tomorrow’, in a financial sense.

Our new brand we set up is doing well, but many questions now pop into our heads as to the direction of where we want to take it - and what the point of all of it is now, especially as now it starts to demand more of our time day by day (good work begets more work).

With so much of our previous identity tied up in being 'entrepreneurship', and being great at what we do - it's difficult to jump ship and abandon ship completely. Hence why it's still one foot in one foot out, while testing the waters on many other facets of life and what it's got to offer.

Additionally, @NeoDialectic and I ponder many questions and answers back and forth over each other weekly to test our motivations, mindset, risk, rewards and the limits of the ‘fisherman story’ from all ends.

Having more time also definitely let’s you explore more passion projects (I’ve been working on a car/vehicle related brand for past 1+ years), focusing on fitness + cooking, travel (when possible) and most important of all again dedicating quite a bit of time for and around the family!

Thoughts do creep in in terms of - if there's not an ultimate 'financial' reward, what's the point (see @MTF post above)? But with time you are able to quiet that voice a bit more, and just let things be. New motivations are discovered such as fun, learning, getting better at a skill and improving yourself day by day.

While there is no ‘magical answer’ or what happens when you reach this financial peak combined with time freedom – it truly DOES let you live the unscripted life (@MJ DeMarco), where you now have the wand in your hand to color in your life / lifestyle as you might want and let’s you experiment with WAY more variables then you thought possible.

As some mentioned, having all this ‘newfound’ freedom can VERY QUICKLY turn to destructive behavior, as it does for many (most common examples being lottery winners).

Luckily, through many previously established habits and mindsets that @NeoDialectic and I cultivated we’ve been pretty levelheaded about where to invest time, money, and energy moving forward - even though we are iterating towards a more ideal version of all that (and us) daily.

This is all definitely a work in progress, and as mentioned by several in here as well – the only true north star for me now is ‘always keep improving’.

---------------------

@MTF and @Antifragile both have excellent posts up above that I will also try to respond to. Both highlight great points, and give food for thought all around.

 

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[WJK]

I've hit two of those major milestones over the last three years. At the first milestone, I thought balloons were going to fall from the ceiling. People were going to throw confetti in my path while they danced in my honor. Yes, I know. It was all fantasy. The reality has been a very humbling experience. Nothing really happened or appeared to change. I got up every morning and put my pants on one leg at a time. Everyone around me was too busy to even notice. Life simply went on and the sun came up on time every day.

Heavy doubts hit me like a ton of bricks. I wondered if all that work was worth it. I thought about all the times that I hung in there and made it work. I stayed on the JOB while everyone else had given up and gone home to party. I had been looking forward to those accomplishments for a lifetime of difficult moments and grinding days. Arriving at the end of the road was nothing like I thought it would be. There was no mountain-high experience --- or even a mountain to sit on. It was a flat spot where the road abruptly quit marked by a sign in my mind that said, "The End". I was plagued by the song, "Is that all there is..." that constantly played in my head. How could it be like that?

Then I realized that I couldn't hit the back button and change a thing. My life up to that date was a done deal. I decided that my problem was personal. I wasn't properly seeing that moment. My Grandmother always told me that when God closes one door, He opens another. I assumed that He had not gotten around to me yet. (Maybe He was busy with one of His high-maintenance people, and I sure wouldn't want to annoy Him by being too demanding.) So, for two years, I saved money like a squirrel putting away her nuts for winter -- while I waited for that other door to open. Covid had stopped everything cold. The world was holding its breath. Last summer a flood of new opportunities fell on me. I'm still working on them. I couldn't have done any of them if I hadn't been in this position and prepared for the moment. See, I really did win.