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My weird comeback to this forum: Sad lessons I learned the past 3 years

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marfmarkus

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To be honest I want to keep this as compact as possible to let it out. But it'll be lengthy I think haha

I am turning 23 next month.

In 2022 I introduced myself to this forum roughly when I was reading Fastlane and Unscripted .

I complained about my apprenticeship or something, nothing new. That was my first experience having a 9 to 5.

After 6 months I quit and got myself into the electrical trades. Yet another apprenticeship but something more physical.

I liked it more at first. But I slowly learned most jobs are the same. Get a task, complete it without causing a disaster. Collect paycheck.

That's cool. But the 14 year old me in the past wanted the fastlane life. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I mostly spent those years up until now just dreaming about it. Never seriously attempting something aside from meaningless YouTube videos that got deleted for the lack of effort I put into them. I did freelance stuff too but never really went anywhere.

I am almost done with the apprenticeship and I am 3 years into my 20s. What I didn't fully understand was that I spent so much time worrying and dreaming that I never even spent a single second living. I was depressed the past 6 years or so. Completely lost and just wandering through the education system and the jobs I held on the side.

Those apprenticeships really taught me how the working world runs. And when I started researching fastlane stuff on the side, that really opened my eyes on how fastlaners do it.

This shit isn't just a side hustle get rich easy and quit your job. This shit is actual torture if you wanna do it right. Nothing is guaranteed. It's like a battlefield and you're up against people who've been fighting for decades.

It's like I am grabbing my rifle and running through foggy darkness in the mud. Hearing huge tanks fire off their caliber, screaming and shouting. Ground shaking impacts, technically I have no chance and I am completely alone.

But I am looking for that Ferrari and a wife who are waiting for me in the backyard of my Italian vacation home. Preferably before I turn 35 (even though the mud I am stuck in keeps me at 9 inches per second of movement speed. and the Italians hate foreigners buying up their real estate. Oh and it would be nice if I could meet that wife in like the next 3 years so I don't have to panic that I won't find someone)

Okay enough with the crap. Who do I think I am?

Truth is, most fail. Maybe they don't have enough time. Maybe they don't have enough capital. Even if you had both, you still fail..

And I never really realized from all the daydreaming that I wasn't better than anyone else on this planet. I will fail too judging by the statistics.

Now this is something you can either internalize and have it destroy your hopes,

or you can use it to fuel you past the walls and the mountains.

The odds are so damn low. But life isn't measurable in numbers really. Luck is very variable.

What's pretty predictable though is how prepared you are. I am not prepared. But what's the alternative?

Giving up is not an alternative. It's defeat I would hate to accept. Because if you do give up, you will lose 100%.

But what if you don't give up?

I'd get scared sometimes last year thinking about my future. Having done nothing, having made zero preparation for life.

Lost friends, lost the drive to get good grades. Lost the interest in girls. I dropped everything. Well I graduated high school but that 1.7 GPA speaks for itself.

I was straight up battling with myself too much. And nobody would want to be around with that kind of person.

This is 100% understandable. And at last, nobody will be coming to save me. I can give up and perish. Do nothing and watch my existence fade away in the 9 to 5.

Or I can come to terms with the mistakes, with the pain, with the regret. And say

"I am not done yet. I am not done with this."

Life feels like a boxing match you were thrown in. Either you can lay on the ground for 70 years, half a$$ your effort and keep stumbling and falling,

or you can get up and fight for your life. At the end, you will both be dead either way.

But what you do is what counts. How hard you actually try to fight is what counts.

My goal is to get back up after I got knocked out. Only waking up after I got hit unconscious. I might have to reread some of the books MJ wrote for us.

I want to finish this apprenticeship, look for any learning opportunity I can get my hands on. Get that paycheck. Get physically fit.

But most importantly, defeat the limiting beliefs. Those that control every waking decision of my life. Completely detach myself from all excuses.

The main enemy is obviously modern media. Everywhere you go, inside your pocket is that devil that keeps you distracted. Noises, vibrations, screens.

DING DING DING DING. All of it requires the discipline of a roman warrior.

This is really difficult but I'm on my way.

I have learned a lot this week, no one is out to save me. I don't deserve anything. I only get what I work for.

No one will hand me the job I want if I don't offer something in return.

No one will just hand me all of the women I want if I don't offer something in return.

No one will just hand me the car keys I want if I don't sacrifice what's neccessary.

No one will come and build the business to leave my mark on this planet.

No one will knock on my door to have babies with me if I can't even take care of myself.

No one will hand me a bag of money if I'd just waste it and provide zero value.
 
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Ximduni cedl nesg

Duamfp’v jimq cav puf nz jief aq epf fuxp et zua tjesif zuas tvsahhmit.

Getvmepi ot emm ecuav dsievoph tztvint vu veli up vji casfipt, cav ov eqqiest vji gostv tztvin vu netvis ot xovjop iedj ug at.

Mutv gsoipft, mutv vji fsowi vu hiv huuf hsefit. Mutv vji opvisitv op hosmt. O fsuqqif iwiszvjoph. Ximm O hsefaevif johj tdjuum cav vjev 1.7 HQE tqielt gus ovtimg.
O nztimg cesimz tdseqif cz nz uxp gopepdi fihsii…ipfif cimux 3 HQE.

vji duwof mudlfuxpt xisi sehoph cedl vjip epf 3/4 ug vji dmett katv xisi puv tjuxoph aq gus vavusoemt cz vjip (iwip vjuahj ov xet upmopi). Cav O liqv huoph gus dmettit cideati O cimoiwi O piifif vu gopotj xjev O tvesvif. Et nadj et O jevif ov emm.

Ov’t e fotdoqmopi.

Vjisi’t e muv ug timg-fiwimuqnipv gumlt up tudoem nifoe xju xuamf katv ceom uav ‘gus nipvem jiemvj teli’ us noml vji qsug ‘gus vjios sohjvt’. Cav O gimv vjuti eqqsuedjit xisi vuu vosoph. Nusi tvseohjvgusxesf vu katv hiv vji kuc fupi epf nuwi up.

Vji neop ipinz ot ucwouatmz nufisp nifoe. Iwiszxjisi zua hu, optofi zuas qudliv ot vjev fiwom vjev liiqt zua fotvsedvif. Puotit, wocsevoupt, tdsiipt.
Vjot dep ci e hsiev ettiv vu djidl up xjev dunqivovust esi timmoph, epf xjev dupvipv vjiz esi atoph vu timm.

Xi esi mowoph op e mupimz ehi…epf vji sohjv gumlt muwi ov xjip zua veml ecuav qsufadvt epf simevi ov vu mogi.

Gus iyenqmi, O xsovi duqz gus gopepdi, epf op nz tqedi vjisi’t e vsefis demmif Piuj. Ji jet e qsinoan nincistjoq up jot Vimihsen, epf ji xuamf jewi muph ZuaVaci woft tjesoph jux ji uwisduni vsefoph nipvem cmudlt epf jot nupiz nepehinipv vu jimq jot genomz. Jot mogi wemait.

Gus vji ewisehi cmuli xju deni gsun fztgapdvoupem genomoit, zua dep hiv jux puasotjoph ov giimt.

O nohjv jewi vu sisief tuni ug vji cuult NK xsuvi gus at.
Nezci ov’t voni vu aqhsefi zuas mocsesz…

Xjev qsucmint esi zua gedoph op zuas eqqsipvoditjoq? Us op e quvipvoem dunoph cob? Neslivoph?

Gopf pix viedjist (op cuult us uvjist) vu jimq xovj zuas aporai kuaspiz.
 
Pu upi xomm jepf ni vji kuc O xepv og O fup'v uggis tunivjoph op sivasp.

Pu upi xomm katv jepf ni emm ug vji xunip O xepv og O fup'v uggis tunivjoph op sivasp.

Pu upi xomm katv jepf ni vji des lizt O xepv og O fup'v tedsogodi xjev't piddittesz.

Pu upi xomm duni epf caomf vji catopitt vu miewi nz nesl up vjot qmepiv.

Pu upi xomm lpudl up nz fuus vu jewi cecoit xovj ni og O dep'v iwip veli desi ug nztimg.

Pu upi xomm jepf ni e ceh ug nupiz og O'f katv xetvi ov epf qsuwofi bisu wemai.

O fup'v lpux og O tjuamf dsifov @imoraof us @Wohomepvi cav upi ug vjin us nezci cuvj ug vjin jewi teof vjot op foggisipv vjsieft uwis vji ziest...

Pu upi ot dunoph vu tewi zua.

Ov't tunivjoph O siqiev vu zuaph nip xju esi tvomm gohasoph uav vjios mowit.

Hiv aq. Hiv nuwoph. Caomf zuastimg opvu vji vzqi ug qistup vjev dep mowi vji vzqi ug mogi zua xepv vu jewi.
 
Vu ci jupitv O xepv vu liiq vjot et dunqedv et quttocmi vu miv ov uav. Cav ov'mm ci miphvjz O vjopl jeje

O en vaspoph 23 piyv nupvj.

Op 2022 O opvsufadif nztimg vu vjot gusan suahjmz xjip O xet siefoph Getvmepi epf Aptdsoqvif.

O dunqmeopif ecuav nz eqqsipvoditjoq us tunivjoph, puvjoph pix. Vjev xet nz gostv iyqisoipdi jewoph e 9 vu 5.

Egvis 6 nupvjt O raov epf huv nztimg opvu vji imidvsodem vsefit. Ziv epuvjis eqqsipvoditjoq cav tunivjoph nusi qjztodem.

O molif ov nusi ev gostv. Cav O tmuxmz miespif nutv kuct esi vji teni. Hiv e vetl, dunqmivi ov xovjuav deatoph e fotetvis. Dummidv qezdjidl.

Vjev't duum. Cav vji 14 zies umf ni op vji qetv xepvif vji getvmepi mogi. O lpix ov xetp'v huoph vu ci ietz. O nutvmz tqipv vjuti ziest aq apvom pux katv fsienoph ecuav ov. Piwis tisouatmz evvinqvoph tunivjoph etofi gsun niepophmitt ZuaVaci wofiut vjev huv fimivif gus vji medl ug iggusv O qav opvu vjin. O fof gsiimepdi tvagg vuu cav piwis siemmz xipv epzxjisi.

O en emnutv fupi xovj vji eqqsipvoditjoq epf O en 3 ziest opvu nz 20t. Xjev O fofp'v gammz apfistvepf xet vjev O tqipv tu nadj voni xusszoph epf fsienoph vjev O piwis iwip tqipv e tophmi tidupf mowoph. O xet fiqsittif vji qetv 6 ziest us tu. Dunqmivimz mutv epf katv xepfisoph vjsuahj vji ifadevoup tztvin epf vji kuct O jimf up vji tofi.

Vjuti eqqsipvoditjoqt siemmz veahjv ni jux vji xusloph xusmf sapt. Epf xjip O tvesvif sitiesdjoph getvmepi tvagg up vji tofi, vjev siemmz uqipif nz izit up jux getvmepist fu ov.

Vjot tjov otp'v katv e tofi jatvmi hiv sodj ietz epf raov zuas kuc. Vjot tjov ot edvaem vusvasi og zua xeppe fu ov sohjv. Puvjoph ot haesepviif. Ov't moli e cevvmigoimf epf zua'si aq eheoptv qiuqmi xju'wi ciip gohjvoph gus fidefit.

Ov't moli O en hseccoph nz sogmi epf sappoph vjsuahj guhhz feslpitt op vji naf. Jiesoph jahi veplt gosi ugg vjios democis, tdsienoph epf tjuavoph. Hsuapf tjeloph onqedvt, vidjpodemmz O jewi pu djepdi epf O en dunqmivimz emupi.

Cav O en muuloph gus vjev Gisseso epf e xogi xju esi xeovoph gus ni op vji cedlzesf ug nz Ovemoep wedevoup juni. Qsigisecmz cigusi O vasp 35 (iwip vjuahj vji naf O en tvadl op liiqt ni ev 9 opdjit qis tidupf ug nuwinipv tqiif. epf vji Ovemoept jevi gusiohpist cazoph aq vjios siem itvevi. Uj epf ov xuamf ci podi og O duamf niiv vjev xogi op moli vji piyv 3 ziest tu O fup'v jewi vu qepod vjev O xup'v gopf tuniupi)

Ulez ipuahj xovj vji dseq. Xju fu O vjopl O en?

Vsavj ot, nutv geom. Nezci vjiz fup'v jewi ipuahj voni. Nezci vjiz fup'v jewi ipuahj deqovem. Iwip og zua jef cuvj, zua tvomm geom..

Epf O piwis siemmz siemobif gsun emm vji fezfsienoph vjev O xetp'v civvis vjep epzupi imti up vjot qmepiv. O xomm geom vuu kafhoph cz vji tvevotvodt.

Pux vjot ot tunivjoph zua dep iovjis opvispemobi epf jewi ov fitvsuz zuas juqit,

us zua dep ati ov vu gaim zua qetv vji xemmt epf vji nuapveopt.

Vji ufft esi tu fenp mux. Cav mogi otp'v nietasecmi op pancist siemmz. Madl ot wisz wesoecmi.

Xjev't qsivvz qsifodvecmi vjuahj ot jux qsiqesif zua esi. O en puv qsiqesif. Cav xjev't vji emvispevowi?

Howoph aq ot puv ep emvispevowi. Ov't figiev O xuamf jevi vu eddiqv. Cideati og zua fu howi aq, zua xomm muti 100%.

Cav xjev og zua fup'v howi aq?

O'f hiv tdesif tunivonit metv zies vjoploph ecuav nz gavasi. Jewoph fupi puvjoph, jewoph nefi bisu qsiqesevoup gus mogi.

Mutv gsoipft, mutv vji fsowi vu hiv huuf hsefit. Mutv vji opvisitv op hosmt. O fsuqqif iwiszvjoph. Ximm O hsefaevif johj tdjuum cav vjev 1.7 HQE tqielt gus ovtimg.

O xet tvseohjv aq cevvmoph xovj nztimg vuu nadj. Epf pucufz xuamf xepv vu ci esuapf xovj vjev lopf ug qistup.

Vjot ot 100% apfistvepfecmi. Epf ev metv, pucufz xomm ci dunoph vu tewi ni. O dep howi aq epf qisotj. Fu puvjoph epf xevdj nz iyotvipdi gefi exez op vji 9 vu 5.

Us O dep duni vu visnt xovj vji notvelit, xovj vji qeop, xovj vji sihsiv. Epf tez

"O en puv fupi ziv. O en puv fupi xovj vjot."

Mogi giimt moli e cuyoph nevdj zua xisi vjsuxp op. Iovjis zua dep mez up vji hsuapf gus 70 ziest, jemg e$$ zuas iggusv epf liiq tvancmoph epf gemmoph,

us zua dep hiv aq epf gohjv gus zuas mogi. Ev vji ipf, zua xomm cuvj ci fief iovjis xez.

Cav xjev zua fu ot xjev duapvt. Jux jesf zua edvaemmz vsz vu gohjv ot xjev duapvt.

Nz huem ot vu hiv cedl aq egvis O huv lpudlif uav. Upmz xeloph aq egvis O huv jov apduptdouat. O nohjv jewi vu sisief tuni ug vji cuult NK xsuvi gus at.

O xepv vu gopotj vjot eqqsipvoditjoq, muul gus epz miespoph uqqusvapovz O dep hiv nz jepft up. Hiv vjev qezdjidl. Hiv qjztodemmz gov.

Cav nutv onqusvepvmz, figiev vji monovoph cimoigt. Vjuti vjev dupvsum iwisz xeloph fidotoup ug nz mogi. Dunqmivimz fivedj nztimg gsun emm iydatit.

Vji neop ipinz ot ucwouatmz nufisp nifoe. Iwiszxjisi zua hu, optofi zuas qudliv ot vjev fiwom vjev liiqt zua fotvsedvif. Puotit, wocsevoupt, tdsiipt.

FOPH FOPH FOPH FOPH. Emm ug ov siraosit vji fotdoqmopi ug e sunep xessous.

Vjot ot siemmz foggodamv cav O'n up nz xez.

O jewi miespif e muv vjot xiil, pu upi ot uav vu tewi ni. O fup'v fitiswi epzvjoph. O upmz hiv xjev O xusl gus.

Pu upi xomm jepf ni vji kuc O xepv og O fup'v uggis tunivjoph op sivasp.

Pu upi xomm katv jepf ni emm ug vji xunip O xepv og O fup'v uggis tunivjoph op sivasp.

Pu upi xomm katv jepf ni vji des lizt O xepv og O fup'v tedsogodi xjev't piddittesz.

Pu upi xomm duni epf caomf vji catopitt vu miewi nz nesl up vjot qmepiv.

Pu upi xomm lpudl up nz fuus vu jewi cecoit xovj ni og O dep'v iwip veli desi ug nztimg.

Pu upi xomm jepf ni e ceh ug nupiz og O'f katv xetvi ov epf qsuwofi bisu wemai.
Esi vjisi nommoupeosi imidvsodem vsefi catopitt uxpist vjisi?

Fu zua etqosi vu ci moli vjin?

Vjisi xet e zuaph fafi gsun A.T. vuu. Ji jef topdi migv vji gusan. Ji xet op vji teni vsefi. Puv ipuahj zuaph nip dunoph vu vji vsefi. Op 5-10 ziest vji catopitt jet vu ci jepfif uwis us tumf ev e cesheop vu qiuqmi xju dep nepehi vjin.
 
Esi vjisi nommoupeosi imidvsodem vsefi catopitt uxpist vjisi?

Fu zua etqosi vu ci moli vjin?

Vjisi xet e zuaph fafi gsun A.T. vuu. Ji jef topdi migv vji gusan. Ji xet op vji teni vsefi. Puv ipuahj zuaph nip dunoph vu vji vsefi. Op 5-10 ziest vji catopitt jet vu ci jepfif uwis us tumf ev e cesheop vu qiuqmi xju dep nepehi vjin.
Og O muul ev vji dassipv tovaevoup ev uas dunqepz ov siemmz giimt moli zua'si qesv ug tuni hoh idupunz. Ov't puv siemmz tunivjoph O dep tii nztimg op muph visn og vji upmz miwisehi O dep caomf ot vjuahj xuslgusdi. Itqidoemmz op e duapvsz xjisi temesz dutvt gus vji inqmuzis esi moli fuacmi ug vji xuslist hsutt qez. Nezci o en xsuph ecuav vjot cav vjev't xjev nz opvaovoup vimmt ni. Epf o sihsiv puv motvipoph vu ov op vji qetv
 
Og O muul ev vji dassipv tovaevoup ev uas dunqepz ov siemmz giimt moli zua'si qesv ug tuni hoh idupunz. Ov't puv siemmz tunivjoph O dep tii nztimg op muph visn og vji upmz miwisehi O dep caomf ot vjuahj xuslgusdi. Itqidoemmz op e duapvsz xjisi temesz dutvt gus vji inqmuzis esi moli fuacmi ug vji xuslist hsutt qez. Nezci o en xsuph ecuav vjot cav vjev't xjev nz opvaovoup vimmt ni. Epf o sihsiv puv motvipoph vu ov op vji qetv
Og vji sitamv ot xusvj fuoph vu ni O xomm fu ov.

Moli e “tegi suavi” vu tnemm sodjit og xommoph vu qav aq vji hsopf. Zua xomm ci civvis vjep 99.5 qisdipv ug zuas qiist op vji teni ehi hsuaq vip ziest mevis.

Vji qsuditt xomm tadl moli e vusvasi, cav vjev’t vji qsodi vu qez.

Vji qeopgam qsuditt ot vji ipvsz cessois.

Ov’t e dunqivovoup up xju cmoplt gostv.

Piwis xussz vjev vji qsuditt ot qeopgam. Cideati og ov ot qeopgam gus zua, ov xomm ci qeopgam gus zuas dunqivovust xju xomm fsuq uav cigusi zua.

Ov’t taqqutif vu ci qeopgam tu vjev ov dep xiif uav vji uvjis onqevoipv tuamt tu vjev zua ipkuz vji gsaov ug vji qistotvepdi.
 
Jisi't nz cmaiqsopv:

1. Tewi nupiz apvom zua dep duwis zuas mowoph iyqiptit gus e gix ziest. Nutv qiuqmi fup'v mowi gsahemmz epf xetvi vjios nupiz, tu ewuof vjev. Ev vjot quopv, raov zuas kuc us xjeviwis ot ievoph emm zuas voni.
2. Tvesv iyqisonipvoph xovj catopitt ofiet apvom zua gopf xjev xuslt. Vjot dep jeqqip qesvmz cz vsoem-epf-issus, epf qesvmz zua miespoph pix tlommt epf onqsuwoph fasoph vjot voni, ev iyidavoph ofie (neslivoph, temit, qsufadv/tiswodi fiwimuqnipv, pivxusloph, gopepdoem apfistvepfoph ivd). Tvodl vu qsuwip qsopdoqmit, moli DIPVT xjip djuutoph xjev ofiet vu qastai. Fup'v hiv tvadl op tunivjoph og zua tii pu qsugov egvis e gix nupvjt. Zua dep ati nupiz vu vitv ofiet, cav ev nutv 5% ug zuas tewopht qis ofie.
3. Tez zua fup'v lpux epzvjoph ecuav edduapvoph. Fu zua piif vu miesp vjot? Pu, cav zua dep josi e gsiimepdi cuulliiqis upmopi, epf miesp gsun jux vjiz dunqmivi vji vetl zua hewi vjin. Tu zua miesp tuni citv qsedvodit fosidvmz gsun vjin. Piyv voni zua fup'v piif vu josi vjin. Katv ati vjios xusl et e vinqmevi. Vjot huit gus nepz tlommt. Cioph ecmi vu gusnamevi tadj vinqmevi-usoipvevif vetlt vu iyqisvt, epf jewi vjin dsievi e TUQ gus zua dep tewi zua e muv ug miespoph voni. Pux, O en tasi EO dep fu katv vji teni.

O fof tviq 2 gus vxu ziest apvom O guapf e catopitt nufim epf podji vjev hewi ni tuni vsedvoup, epf vjip O gudatif tumimz up ov gus vxu nusi ziest, neloph ov opvu e siem catopitt, xovj ipuahj dmoipvt, tztvint epf tvepfesft op qmedi, epf inqmuziit. Og O fof puv jewi e tlomm, O xuamf qez e gsiimepdis us inqmuzii vu jimq ni, epf miesp onnifoevimz gsun vjin jux ovt fupi. O fof vjot e gix vonit epf ov xet onqusvepv vu qav vji qabbmi qoidit vuhivjis. Fasoph vjot voni ug caomfoph O xet fifodevif, cideati et tuup et O tex tuni qsugov cioph nefi, O cideni nuvowevif vu liiq hsuxoph ov.
 
Vjisi't muvt ug uqqusvapovoit op vsefit et iyidavif et ximm uomif tztvint.

Tuni ug vji cohhitv junit op nz esie esi hazt xju uxp coh vsefi dunqepoit.

Vjiz esip'v up meffist epf fuoph vji cedl-csieloph xusl -- vjiz esi uomoph epf nepehoph vji tztvin.

Puv tasi og vjev't vji fosidvoup zua xepv vu hu -- cav lpuxoph e vsefi ot upi ug vji citv "tegivz-pivt" uav vjisi.

Ov emtu jet equdemzqvod wemai.

Egvis vjev etvisuof jovt, pu upi piift ep edduapvepv us ep opwitvnipv ceplis.
 
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