My Mind Always Comes Back to "Getting Comfortable"

[AA1980]

For the past handful of years, I've been working on two different things, and, admittedly, I haven't been diligent. These two things are a book and a course.

Realistically, I could have finished both a few years ago. But, it's all too easy for me to procrastinate and stay "comfortable".

Why do I feel this way? Because I make a good living (roughly $215k a year), I work for a good company, with good people. I am also a partner in that company with about $120k in equity. The company is growing and doing well. So I haven't hit desperate times.

That being said, I am the sole income earner in my household (though my wife recently started her own biz), and we have a child. I also live in Boston, which isn't cheap, and between the mortgage, standard expenses, unexpected expenses (my car cost me $3k in repairs over the past two months!), paying off my loan to the firm for my equity, I'm never swimming in money.

I guess it comes down to what I want in life. But I'm not sure. I do hate the idea of someone else deciding what my time is worth. And I love the idea of not having to drive 45 mins to and from work 5 days a week.

There's probably not much for everyone else to say.. just needed to get my thoughts out there.

 

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[RazorCut]

Well at over 200k a year have you analysed why are you not swimming in money? That is a fair chunk of change. If it is lifestyle choices odds are that you will be short of cash if you are earning $1m a year.

I do hate the idea of someone else deciding what my time is worth. And I love the idea of not having to drive 45 mins to and from work 5 days a week.

It sounds like you don't hate it enough and are in that comfort zone where you are very unlikely to suffer a F*ck this event.

There is a high probability that unless you actually force-ably plan something and execute on it you will still be saying the same thing in a decades time.

Food for thought perhaps?

 

[AA1980]

Well at over 200k a year have you analysed why are you not swimming in money? That is a fair chunk of change.

When you take out taxes, 401k withholding, social security, paying the remainder of my loan for my equity ($200 per paycheck), etc, each take home check is $4400 (25 of those a year). It's not mindblowing money for a family of three on a single income.

 

[AA1980]

There is a high probability that unless you actually force-ably plan something and execute on it you will still be saying the same thing in a decades time.

Food for thought perhaps?

You're right. I just need to get back on track. But it's hard looking up that hill. Writing a book is hard work, and it may not pay much in terms of financial reward. Maybe dump that idea and focus elsewhere?

 

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[AA1980]

Well at over 200k a year have you analysed why are you not swimming in money? That is a fair chunk of change. If it is lifestyle choices odds are that you will be short of cash if you are earning $1m a year.



It sounds like you don't hate it enough and are in that comfort zone where you are very unlikely to suffer a F*ck this event.

There is a high probability that unless you actually force-ably plan something and execute on it you will still be saying the same thing in a decades time.

Food for thought perhaps?

Looking at other recurring expenses..

$235 a month for life insurance
$200 for cable/internet (cutting the cord so this will come down to $95 a month starting in February)
$120 for the YMCA (thought about going to a cheaper gym, but I take my son swimming here in the winter, and being able to do any activities with a child during the winter months is priceless)

 

[GoodluckChuck]

You're right. I just need to get back on track. But it's hard looking up that hill. Writing a book is hard work, and it may not pay much in terms of financial reward. Maybe dump that idea and focus elsewhere?

I went to bed last night with this thought:

The only decision that matters is the decision I make right now.

Your post reminded me of this because you're staring into the future at this mountain of work and deciding not to push forward now.

Stop worrying about the future and decide to sit down and write for 15 minutes right now. Before you know it, the book will be done.

 

[AA1980]

Stop worrying about the future and decide to sit down and write for 15 minutes right now. Before you know it, the book will be done.

@GoodluckChuck you're absolutely right. but right now, I'm at work, and will probably need to wait until I get home! But I WILL! THANK YOU!

 

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[RazorCut]

Looking at other recurring expenses..

$235 a month for life insurance
$200 for cable/internet (cutting the cord so this will come down to $95 a month starting in February)
$120 for the YMCA (thought about going to a cheaper gym, but I take my son swimming here in the winter, and being able to do any activities with a child during the winter months is priceless)


Cringing at the spouse's expenditures at Banana Republic in recent months.. won't even show that $ here. But we did talk about it, and she knows now!

Yes, as you say it's not a huge income but a very comfortable one if you rein in some of the expenses we are all guilty of overlooking. It is easy to spend up to our earnings or over, and when it becomes a habit we hardly even notice. Just like $200 for cable and internet. And $120 each month for a gym.

 

[AA1980]

Yes, as you say it's not a huge income but a very comfortable one if you rein in some of the expenses we are all guilty of overlooking. It is easy to spend up to our earnings or over, and when it becomes a habit we hardly even notice. Just like $200 for cable and internet. And $120 each month for a gym.

Yep, as mentioned, will be reducing that cable bill next time. I’d love to cancel the gym, and stick with a $10/month Planet Fitness, but that swimming pool is key in the winter!

 

[RazorCut]

I’d love to cancel the gym, and stick with a $10/month Planet Fitness, but that swimming pool is key in the winter!

If you are actually looking to make savings can't you just subscribe in the winter months and use a cheaper gym the rest of the year? My Gym closes for a little over 2 weeks this time of year so I joined another local one and did a deal where I just pay for a month at their usual rate.

Their normal policy is pay monthly but with a 30 day cancellation period so you HAVE to pay for at least 2 months minimum. But I've found most of the time everything is flexible if you ask nicely.

Of course you could still with all your current outgoings and launch a business to cover them and more.

 

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[DaRK9]

Win The Day, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO107

How can you be an outlier in a world full of people dedicated to mediocrity? How can you train yourself to be mentally tough, accomplish critical tasks, and set goals and dreams for yourself that stretch you beyond your comfort zone into the highest levels of greatness? In this episode...

andyfrisella.com

 

[SEBASTlAN]

"You are where you want to be"

 

[AA1980]

If you are actually looking to make savings can't you just subscribe in the winter months and use a cheaper gym the rest of the year? My Gym closes for a little over 2 weeks this time of year so I joined another local one and did a deal where I just pay for a month at their usual rate.

Their normal policy is pay monthly but with a 30 day cancellation period so you HAVE to pay for at least 2 months minimum. But I've found most of the time everything is flexible if you ask nicely.

yep I thought of this and will plan to do pre-Spring time!

 

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[AA1980]

"You are where you want to be"

maybe I am! But also at the same time, our minds can lie to us.

 

[AA1980]

Win The Day, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO107

How can you be an outlier in a world full of people dedicated to mediocrity? How can you train yourself to be mentally tough, accomplish critical tasks, and set goals and dreams for yourself that stretch you beyond your comfort zone into the highest levels of greatness? In this episode...

andyfrisella.com

Have listened to 80% since you posted this.. thanks @DaRK9!

 

[Choate]

Fellow Bostonian here. Metrowest. Definitely understand things are more expensive around here, but something seems off. Sounds like there's two problems at hand.

1) The side projects aren't seeing any progress

2) You're not comfortable with a 215k income with a family of 3 - expenses are weighing you down

As for the side projects... You go to the YMCA; the gym. So you know what daily/weekly progress looks like. It's the same thing with your book/course. Just gotta find a spot where you can dedicate your focus to writing them fully just like when you're in the gym you fully dedicate your time to working out. Starbucks? Another coffee shop? A home office? I'd ask yourself how many days/week can you dedicate 1-2 hours towards this, and work on one at a time.

As for expenses... I feel like the devil is in the details. The ones you listed (life insurance, YMCA, cable/internet) only come out to around 7k per year. I'd ask myself if there is a way to reasonably reduce other fixed expenses, and then see what you can pay down soon to eliminate (like the loan to the firm for equity). Look at your 30/60 day bank statement to see where you can reign in variable expenses. Maybe you won't budge on things like the YMCA due to your son swimming but I'd imagine there's somewhere or something that can be cut or reduced.

 

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[AA1980]

Fellow Bostonian here. Metrowest. Definitely understand things are more expensive around here, but something seems off. Sounds like there's two problems at hand.

1) The side projects aren't seeing any progress

2) You're not comfortable with a 215k income with a family of 3 - expenses are weighing you down

As for the side projects... You go to the YMCA; the gym. So you know what daily/weekly progress looks like. It's the same thing with your book/course. Just gotta find a spot where you can dedicate your focus to writing them fully just like when you're in the gym you fully dedicate your time to working out. Starbucks? Another coffee shop? A home office? I'd ask yourself how many days/week can you dedicate 1-2 hours towards this, and work on one at a time.

As for expenses... I feel like the devil is in the details. The ones you listed (life insurance, YMCA, cable/internet) only come out to around 7k per year. I'd ask myself if there is a way to reasonably reduce other fixed expenses, and then see what you can pay down soon to eliminate (like the loan to the firm for equity). Look at your 30/60 day bank statement to see where you can reign in variable expenses. Maybe you won't budge on things like the YMCA due to your son swimming but I'd imagine there's somewhere or something that can be cut or reduced.

Great post! Actually started digging more through the expenses today via Mint. Thanks fellow Bostonian!

And yes, I have no problem/motivation issues with going to the gym. Guess my motivation is that I want to stay healthy and look good/not put on weight. Guess it's just a matter of applying that same mindset elsewhere.

 

[Ing]

For the past handful of years, I've been working on two different things, and, admittedly, I haven't been diligent. These two things are a book and a course.

Realistically, I could have finished both a few years ago. But, it's all too easy for me to procrastinate and stay "comfortable".

Why do I feel this way? Because I make a good living (roughly $215k a year), I work for a good company, with good people. I am also a partner in that company with about $120k in equity. The company is growing and doing well. So I haven't hit desperate times.

That being said, I am the sole income earner in my household (though my wife recently started her own biz), and we have a child. I also live in Boston, which isn't cheap, and between the mortgage, standard expenses, unexpected expenses (my car cost me $3k in repairs over the past two months!), paying off my loan to the firm for my equity, I'm never swimming in money.

I guess it comes down to what I want in life. But I'm not sure. I do hate the idea of someone else deciding what my time is worth. And I love the idea of not having to drive 45 mins to and from work 5 days a week.

There's probably not much for everyone else to say.. just needed to get my thoughts out there.

Hi man,
you are in similar situation as I am.
180k, 4 ppl, its a lot of money and I don’t understand where it stays.
And my projects go slow, too.

I dont think, its the gym or lunch or househeating or cars... but the sum, when you want to live good.

I ll try that, too.
Working 15 minutes a day on a book is a great plan.

 

[AA1980]

Put in a solid hour tonight. Gotta keep the momentum going! Your support is much appreciated all!

 

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[BizyDad]

Put in a solid hour tonight. Gotta keep the momentum going! Your support is much appreciated all!

Congrats on taking that step. Next, commit to 15 minutes tomorrow. Don't think that because you did an hour today you get the next 3 days off...

 

[AA1980]

Congrats on taking that step. Next, commit to 15 minutes tomorrow. Don't think that because you did an hour today you get the next 3 days off...

thanks brother! You’re right! I wasn’t going to give myself a break, because I have years of lost time to make up for!

 

[Everyman]

Hi Man,

congrats on your progress and life to date. It is a great starting point. If you don't mind I will be brief... for now...

I guess it comes down to what I want in life. But I'm not sure. I do hate the idea of someone else deciding what my time is worth. And I love the idea of not having to drive 45 mins to and from work 5 days a week.

Why don't you start here and work from home at least 3-4 days a week?

Driving 45mins to and from work is actually 1.5h daily already and ... 7.5hrs a week... BUT add another 30mins to 1hr of prep before and you get at least 10-12.5hrs a week of additional time.

 

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[MHP368]

So it shows insight that you're intellectually understanding this but this seems like one of those sticky situations where its going to get down to vagaries of "willpower" and "motivation"

I guess the most pragmatic first step would be to really spend some time on your "Why?" and keep it at the forefront day to day but it almost seems like you have it to good, if I may be frank? and i'm not trying to presume too much but

Could it be possible that you really see your book and course (your entrepreneurial ventures outside of your regular business) as a sort of hobby / badge of honor? (ego thing) , by that I mean, are you just "playing" entrepreneur on weekends? (again, I'm not trying to insult you just throwing out some ideas)

Why did you start a book or a course to begin with? , because you didn't jump onto a new book or course right? you just kind of shelved the ones you had, why?

 

[AA1980]

Hi Man,

congrats on your progress and life to date. It is a great starting point. If you don't mind I will be brief... for now...



Why don't you start here and work from home at least 3-4 days a week?

Driving 45mins to and from work is actually 1.5h daily already and ... 7.5hrs a week... BUT add another 30mins to 1hr of prep before and you get at least 10-12.5hrs a week of additional time.

Thanks for the note. Since I work for an employer, it’s not up to me whether I work from home or not. Even though I am a partner, I still have a boss.

 

[Champion]

How much time/energy have you already invested into this book/course?

I think if you already worked on it quite a bit, it makes sense to finish it.

I know how hard it can be to build your business besides a 9 to 5... im in the same situation, although I dont have a child/girlfriend though. Im sure that must be even more difficult.

If I was you, I would try to outsource whatever tasks possible to VA's to speed up working on your business ideas, since you have a high salary.

 

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[AA1980]

So it shows insight that you're intellectually understanding this but this seems like one of those sticky situations where its going to get down to vagaries of "willpower" and "motivation"

I guess the most pragmatic first step would be to really spend some time on your "Why?" and keep it at the forefront day to day but it almost seems like you have it to good, if I may be frank? and i'm not trying to presume too much but

Could it be possible that you really see your book and course (your entrepreneurial ventures outside of your regular business) as a sort of hobby / badge of honor? (ego thing) , by that I mean, are you just "playing" entrepreneur on weekends? (again, I'm not trying to insult you just throwing out some ideas)

Why did you start a book or a course to begin with? , because you didn't jump onto a new book or course right? you just kind of shelved the ones you had, why?

Appreciate these great questions.

1) I didn't intend for them to be a hobby. I actually saw myself writing a bunch of them over time, and hopefully generate income like @MTF was (I remember seeing figures of $100k per month). I am a pretty good writer, and figured "why not me?"

Frankly, at this point, I can't say I've been doing anything BUT playing entrepreneur. And I wish it was every weekend.. because this would have been done long ago.

The book and course are the first ones I've ever started on. Nothing was dropped to pick this up, if that's what you're asking?

 

[AA1980]

How much time/energy have you already invested into this book/course?

I think if you already worked on it quite a bit, it makes sense to finish it.

I know how hard it can be to build your business besides a 9 to 5... im in the same situation, although I dont have a child/girlfriend though. Im sure that must be even more difficult.

If I was you, I would try to outsource whatever tasks possible to VA's to speed up working on your business ideas, since you have a high salary.

Over time, I've invested a lot of time into the book and course. Much of that time has been spent/wasted because I have never done it before, and, looking back, could have done it much more efficiently.

I have worked on it quite a bit. The book has about 40,000 words, which I think is equal to about Kindle pages (depending on the font size and spacing set on the Kindle).

Outsourcing to VA's is something I've thought about, but can't really do that for writing!

 

[MHP368]

The book and course are the first ones I've ever started on. Nothing was dropped to pick this up, if that's what you're asking?

Yes. My thinking here was "is this a pattern of flaking on projects or is this guy flaking consistently on one thing?"

Shiny thing syndrome (always leave them unfinished) vs something specific perhaps about this stuff.

 

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[AA1980]

Yes. My thinking here was "is this a pattern of flaking on projects or is this guy flaking consistently on one thing?"

Shiny thing syndrome (always leave them unfinished) vs something specific perhaps about this stuff.

Typically not flaky, no.